I walked the dark sandy streets of Tortuga and listened to the rowdy pirates and sailors getting their drink on after coming to port for the holidays. Their gruff voices steadily grew louder. The merry laughing coming from the buildings came after the sounds of fighting and drunken chair bashing.

A man flew out in front of me and I came to a stop. He landed face down in the sand and I shot a look at the broken window and the drunken pirate who threw him out.

Said the drunken pirate to the ice picking queen.

“Do you have a problem?”

“Do I have a problem?”

Standing in the broken window frame, dancing in the firelight.

“Do you have a problem?”

“Do I have a problem?”

I tucked the specialty bottle of rum closer to my body and pulled the collar of my jacket up further. Remember what the captain said, I thought to myself. Do not trouble make. It's almost Christmas and we need to get out of here.

I mentally swore. This was the wrong night to be itching for a fight.

“Nope.” I gave him one last look before I stepped over the lump of pirate and continued on my way. I rounded the corner and heavy footsteps came to my attention.

The ship of the Rogue Sword.

A sword, a sword

Swinging in the night.

With a blade as big as the ship's mast.

With a blade as big as the ship's mast.

I swiveled on my heels and turned down the alley. The Rogue Sword was our sworn enemy. We'd stolen some of their crew to make up our hotties crew and they were wont to forgive us. When DRD tried to offer positions to soothe their irate childishness, they lashed out and stole our rum supply!

Said the Rogue Sword Crew to the Ice Picking Queen,

“Yo ho! What do we have here!”

Voices boomed through the quiet night,

“Isn't it a little late for a wench to be alone in the night?”

I slowed to a stop and darted a look over my shoulder. Golden Eye Johnny stood at the front of his crew, arms crossed over his chest, biceps straining against the sleeves of his t-shirt. His golden eyes were focused on me.

“Shit,” I swore under my breath. My ice pick was in my boot as a safety precaution and not in my pocket for easy accessibility. I thought about my options. No cell service on Tortuga. No ability for a telepathic line to the other pirates as I've yet to develop that ability.

A fight! A fight!

Late into the night.

With an ice pick as shiny as a diamond.

With an ice pick as shiny as a diamond.

I turned into a fighting stance. Half my body was shielded in the dark the alley offered and the moon shimmered down on the other half. I smiled sweetly and the crew snickered.

Said the Ice Picking Queen to the Golden Eye Johnny,
“Walk away or you'll face the wrath of Evil Twin.”
Laughter rang out through the alley way,

“Do you really think you can take me?”

My fist clenched at my side, fingers popped in anticipation. The rum bottle was warm against my side. The corners of my lips turned malicious with an evil glint in my eye. I crooked my finger at Golden Eye Johnny and he shook his head.

“I'll be the last.” His golden eyes twinkled in the moonlight. “I want to savor this moment.”

A look, a look.

Between two killers.

May the winner be the ice picking queen.

May the winner be the ice picking queen.

He waved forward three of his mighty henchmen from the Rogue crew. These men were giants and brute strength was quite obvious for all to see. I slid deeper into position and waved them forward. The first henchman rubbed his hands together gleefully and the two behind him split up so they could surround me. My heart rate raced, blood danced through my veins. I took a deep breath and dodge the first fist lashing out towards my hair and swung the rum bottle. The smell of spiced rum and blood filled the alley as he fell to his knees. I swung around and caught the second henchman in the chest, slashing his shirt open, blood welled to the wound.

“Wench!” The first henchman ranted, blood poured down the side of his face. His hand applied pressure to his skull. “Get her!”

Three more henchmen for the Rogue came into the melee. Golden Eye Johnny watched with a smile.

The henchman closest to me lunged forward and I planted my booted foot right in his chest. I wielded the broken rum bottle as if my life depended on it, slashing and dodging. A henchman caught me from behind. His fist tangled in my hair. My feet slipped out from under me and I fell to my knees and reached for my boot. I would win no matter the cost.

My hand wrapped around the cold metal of my diamond pick. There was a collective hush and everyone looked toward the street corner where six shadows silhouetted stood in super pirate hero poses.

Said the RWR crew to the fallen Rogue Sword Crew,

“Golden Eye Johnny now you've really done it!”

Capt'n Hellie stood at the front, pissed off and finger pointed,

“Now you've gone and messed with the wrong pirate crew!”

The Capt'n brandished her Capt'n sword and Bo'sun swung a length of chain. Marnee held an old keyboard using the cord like a whip. Hal stood in the background, supervising while the baby did martial arts in the baby oven. DRD directed her harem of Hotties to kick some ass while she read books on Bo'sun's clepted e-reader. Chanceroo called out the spirits of the Kraken.

The fight, the fight.

Will be won without a fuss.

Because the RWR crew is truly the best!

Because the RWR crew is truly the best!

As we came back to the RWR ship, flushed with excitement, joyful with our victory, I hung back behind the crew.

“How did you know?” I asked and six heads turned in my direction.

Hellie grinned and Chanceroo looked sheepish. “Chance was worried you'd run off with her special bottle of rum for making her new Christmas creation and wouldn't stop harping us.”

“So we decided to set off on a Christmas field trip!” Marn twirled her keyboard cord like a baton. “Let's make this a tradition!”

Chanceroo grinned and headed over to the bar. She crouched behind the bar and sat a dark bottle of rum on the bar. “I'll make us some drinks! Let's party!”

Bo'sun pulled the prisoners onto the gangplank and jerked her thumb towards the men. “What am I supposed to do with them?”

“Put them in my room?” DRD inquired with a smirk. “I'll teach them all a lesson they won't soon forget.”

Hellie shook her head in resignation and Bo'sun laughed. Bo'sun dumped off the men in DRD's room and we all went to the bar. We all took our rum concoctions and downed them with a swig. Hellie smacked her glass down with a thump and gave me a look.

“We are NOT doing this again next year.”

I smirked. We'll see about that.

***

Merry Christmas to all and Happy Holidays to the rest! Thanks for suffering through my horrible rendition of “Do You Hear What I Hear”! Not nearly as bloody as I wanted to make it.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? What is your favorite holiday movie or book?

Week's Influence: Cookies and candy brought in by patients, Point of Grace's Christmas CD and my hair looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket- courtesy of running out of Christmas shopping time due to snow, sleet and ice at in opportune times and 3-ring binders filled with notes and depositions just waiting to be reviewed and underlined and highlighted.

I'm at a loss what to write.

Don't get me wrong. I'm never at a loss what to write creatively. It seems just as I think up one thing, a plot bunny rears it's mohawked head, fangs dripping with plot blood and stares at me with plot bunny beady fire red eyes. Poison sprays from the plot bunny hiss. Paper disintegrates, asphalt oozes. I slip my hand into my boot and wrap my fingers around the cold metal of my trusty ice pick.

Nothing stares at me and hisses and lives to tell about it.

I did NaNo in the month of November. I haven't written that much in one month since I first started writing. I won't lie. It felt great to be that creative. I wrote one thing and the next came to me. It was like old times with my trusty new laptop. Then I had one plot bunny. “Oh, this is great! It totally fills in the gap I was wondering how to fix.”

Two plot bunnies: “Oh! Excellent! This would make a great segue for Tory's character! Wouldn't it be great if there was another smaller plot underneath this behemoth one I've got going on! I will just weave it RIGHT here.”

Three plot bunnies: “Oooh. But where to put this? Hm.” Ponder. Ponder. Ponder. “Oh yeah! I can just add in another three scenes to accommodate this and a smaller black moment.”

Four: “Sweet jesus! This book will be 200k by the time I finish if I don't stop now.”

Five: “I swear! I'm getting out the custom made ice picks and hunting you down!” Waving ice picks manically and assuming evil ninja stance. “Evil plot bunnies!! BE GONE!”

I easily succumb to tangents. I'm a puppy with three new shiny toys. I don't know which one to go to first. Once upon a time I thought taking notes might help me stave off the plot bunnies. I think it only makes it worse. My brain needs freedom. My plot needs bunnies to grow.

I've taken the month of December off from writing/authoring. You can disagree with this if you want. Whatever. I need December to work on other things creatively. Like getting the house ready for Christmas guests. And gato (cat) proofing the decorations. The Christmas tree has submitted to the Dos Los Gatos gang and had to be taken down. Next, I will find them swinging by their fangs from the garland wrapped around the banister and I will lose it. We'll have gatos for Christmas dinner. You won't tell on me... will you?

Alright, so let's talk plot bunnies. Anyone else have this issue? Favorite plot bunny look? Do you have a reoccuring plot bunny episode in your head as you write? (Can plot bunnies cause a reoccurring theme throughout your writing? Hm.)

I'll be back next week with my Pirate rendition of "Do You Hear What I Hear."  Sure to be horrible and a good laugh.

Influences this week: Snow, snow, snow, snow! (It's snowing while I write this.), hot liquid caffeine usually in the form of cappuccino, and Kevin Matisyn's Eclipsed.

Congrats to our very own DRD for becoming a winner of the 2010 National Novel Writing Month, or NaNo. It took a lot of grit, determination, and steady hours of fingers to the keyboard, but you did it! I'm so proud of you DRD!!

I spent last month writing. I started out writing what I thought was to be the first of Kiki's three book series. The first scene was really vivid in my mind. She wakes up to three goons hovering over her bed just before dawn. Kiki is used to trouble. Tory, her best friend, has a saying about Kiki. “Trouble follows you.” Incidentally, my BFF says this about me. Even bought me a shirt with it blazoned across the front of it.

The goons are just delivering a message. Kiki is not who the boss wants. Someone important to Kiki's past is who the boss wants. Her husband. The last time Kiki saw her husband- after he shot her father. Not exactly on speaking terms, you see.

But how did I get to that point?

I'm not quite sure.

I wrote quite a bit more. All the way to another of my favorite very vivid mental scenes. The confrontation.

“What's in it for me?”

“A divorce.”

Excellent motivation if you ask me. I'd dance with the devil for a chance like that. Kiki says about that much as well. Unlikely partners with unlikely motivation. My favorite type of writing.

The next thing I saw was how her sisters were kidnapped. That was a dream. The kind of dream you wake up in a cold sweat and not quite sure what the hell happened. This is also the kind of dream you can kick the ass of your chosen bedmate and not realize it until they are screaming at you for kicking them in the ribs because it really really hurts.

So then I wrote the scene of how Kiki finds out the twins are missing. And I go from there and realize there is an entire book before the one I started out in. In one week Kiki realizes her life is one big lie surrounded by millions of tiny white ones. It was so incredible to watch play out in my mind. And like Terri said yesterday, nothing is as great as what you see the first time in your mind as you're writing it. My job is to do a good enough job to make you visualize what I saw, continue to see as I'm writing. All these questions started coming up in my mind, the plot bunnies fornicated and multiplied at alarming rates until I thought I might lose control.

So while I didn't hit THE END on my novel by the end of November, like planned, it doesn't mean the whole month was a waste. In this case, the scenic route helped me, as the writer, better understand my character and the path she's on. I like to think this is helping me create a better novel for you to read and make me a better crafter.

Does anyone else have a problem with plot bunnies? Those suckers will dry hump just about anything. Especially blank pages. What happened to you in the month of November? Did you write, read, shop, gab, jab, climb a tree, marry a lumberjack, kiss a sailor? Let's make up great stories about our month to relieve some of the stress of the upcoming holidays. Or just tangent. I like tangents.

Influences this week: Nyquil (I've got a bug), Parabelle's new CD (Reassembling the Icons- Love your voice Kevin!) and Ouran High School Host Club (tis some funny nonsense anime that makes me giggle.)

***

I'm not exactly a goal-oriented type of person. Sure, I set goals for myself. I set my sights on something I want and I go for it. But goals, don't think so. That's seems too definite, too defined for me. I need freedom to roam around a bit before I settle in. Just ask my DH. It took me a few years to get used to the idea of marriage.

So this may come to a shock to you when I say I have a few dream jobs I'd love to have. Mystery shopper seems too good to be true (I love to shop; and I'm damned good at it). Cabana boy test-trialer. I mean, how do you think everyone ends up with all those hot cabana boys oiled down and fawning over every little detail for you while you're sipping your mojito by the pool? Someone's gotta try them out first. (It should be me. I have visions of me in a '50's inspired black swimsuit, the Hepburn hat and vintage sunglasses sitting by a pool while I'm fawned on lovingly by hot young hard bodied men. Such a wonderful thought.)

And right up there is my name, author. The thought gives me a thrill and is one of those fleeting thoughts that pings around and fades just as fast. As a writer there are times when I've allowed myself to think that someday I could be published. I could finish a book and people would actually PAY for the pleasure of reading something I put effort into writing. I've had the joy of learning how to write with my peers. I've had the joy of reading reviews of my writing in a controlled environment. (Though, I will say that JE Plum fanfic fans can be quite as rabid as the rest of them in the fanfic world.) I owe my abilities to Ms. Janet Evanovich and her characters Stephanie and Ranger. The experience taught me to love what I write. Be what I write. Write what I know and if I don't know it, fake it with confidence. Can't say I've ever been in a high-speed chase situation where people are shooting at me, but I love to write it.

So, when the pirates brought to my attention that Janet Evanovich was looking for co-authors I wanted to jump all over that band wagon. I know she's not giving over the reins to her Plum empire. (The things I'd do to Ranger- probably illegal in 49 states to write down.) But, I gave into my little fantasy world of how I would take over the Plum empire and turn it into something it is complete not and never will be. Because let's face it, I'm not the creative genius behind Plum. I'm not the author. While I read the characters, love the characters, play with the characters, they will never be mine. It is my turn to make those characters people want to write fan fiction about. That is my goal.

I want to be that author that makes you want to write fan fiction about my world.

To me, I think that would be the ultimate compliment. That my ability as an author has drawn you in so far that you can't let go. That your creative mind has thought up a complete new adventure for these characters that I, as the author, would never explore. I made Stephanie more confident, more competent and more kick-ass. I had her team up with someone she'd never partner in the books, made her fall in love and marry the man she'd never dare in the books. I want to be that author that inspires YOU, the reader, to write. To do something you'd never thought about doing before. I know it can be done. I've seen it in the fan fiction world before and it will happen again. Readers turn into writers. It's how I got started. It's how you could get started. It's a beautiful thing people.

I am a reader.

I am a writer.

Someday, I will be that author.

Now, if you were given the opportunity for a little fantasy to take over a series you love would you go for it? Has a series ever inspired you to write fan fiction? Ever read fan fiction? Know someone who writes kick ass fan fiction? Serve them up. I love fan fiction.

PS: This blog totally didn't turn out how I planned. I blame NaNo brain.

Influence this week- Lots of caffeine, lots of fun size candy bars and a new playlist filled with alternative music that I love. Right now: "Please" by Ludo and "In the Night" by Cavo. STL has great local bands and if you like alternative music, check these two out.

Hi, my name is Sin. I wasn't quite sure if you'd forgotten about me. I've been hibernating in the crow's nest while I organize my thoughts. The last year has brought about a lot of changes in my personal life. Changes are a good thing, except they tend to mess with my creative flow. In order to function properly I need to have the ability to flex my creative fingers and use my imagination. My imagination lately has been in the form of paint colors and used furniture I want to revamp and upholster.

Like in fiction, characters have a “real” life where they have to work and do ho-hum every day crap to tide everyone over (even if it is a cat named Mistress.) My real persona has a real life and plays a role that I don't always relish in. I'm not the stereotypical type of person. I morph into bits and pieces I need to play in order to get the job done and flitter about until I can call it done. Then I move on. Playing the role of suburban decorating wife does not suit me. Makes me feel like climbing into a dress and heels and standing in the kitchen when my husband comes home and proudly announcing his dinner is done. (With a dash of arsenic for flavor.) Then promptly finding the nearest foot long piece of non-waxed dental floss to strangle myself with. Notice I didn't say waxed. Too slippery. And smells like mint.

* sad shake of head * Sorry, bad inside joke. At least it wasn't the toothpick and ice pick this time. I'll save them for a special occasion.

So imagine my surprise when I realize the month of October is upon us. Thanksgiving, Christmas, family gatherings and Christmas parties to plan and presents to find and buy and snow days to work around. This is the type of anxiety ridden panic that immediately swallowed me as I realized there will be times when I won't be able to breathe, let alone do something I want to do. Then I signed into my email and there was one glorious email hidden amongst the junk.

NaNoWriMo season was closing in on us again, my email read.

In 2006, someone dared me to do this feat. And a giant feat it is- a person signs into a website to become a participant in a large scale noveling event. I was new to writing in 2006 (as you've undoubtedly heard me say before) and fell in love with a character in my mind named Sadie Michaels. This grand scale monstrosity I wrote in 30 days was promptly deleted into a folder deemed “Never Open Under Penalty of Painful Death”. Not salvageable. Ever.

But it was a lesson. A lesson in I could do anything if I set my mind to it. I could write an original novel. I could create my own characters and setting. And I went back to doing what I've done since then, selectively writing fan fiction for Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. Every year since then, I've received emails telling me to come back to NaNo. Participate in another glorious month of pure selfishness and do what you love to do.

Every year I decline. The thought of organizing and actually putting together a written work of my imagination scares the hell out of me. That's right. I said it. The one thing that scares me in this world is the one thing I want most. If I fail and lose the one thing I love, where will I be without it? So I've never put forth any effort to do it.

Oh, I have plenty written in my own characters and in my own settings. I have folders upon folders of stuff about Kiki, Kady and Sadie and Tory. Dex, Ash and Ruiz. Short stories and one shots, scenes out of nowhere. I know these characters. They are mine. I am theirs. If I put them out there and they are no longer mine and they no longer speak to me, how will I get them back?

The question has haunted me late at night for years.

This year I stared at the email. I read over the contents once, twice, three times. And without a second thought on November 1, I pulled up the NaNo site and got my user name and password and became a participant for the second time.

christietaylor – user name for NaNo. Follow my word count, berate me when I fall behind, encourage me or ignore me.

I know this is going to be tough. I know I'm going to struggle and swear and probably throw something off a cliff and ice pick someone (possibly a sacrificial bunny) by the end of the month; but I have to know if I can do this. I can't fail Dex and Kiki after I've spent so much time getting to know them and learning about their story. That is failure. Not using your potential while you have it, not accessing the story and organizing it so it can be shared with someone else so that maybe your love for your characters will be passed on to someone else. Imagination and characters are a creative gift to others. Share your imagination with everyone around you. Even if you're not a writer, or even a reader. Characters are all around you in life. Find some enthusiasm and encourage others to join in.

I hope that sometime in the future you will join in on NaNo or tell someone about it and encourage them to participate. If nothing else, the forums on the NaNo site and the emails they send out could encourage you to get started in your own fictional world some day.

Have you ever done NaNo? Would you consider it? Anyone willing to become my assistant just to go on Starbucks runs in the middle of the night?

“Scarlet Canvas” - Haloscript (Ghosts & Good Intentions, 2008)

So you would think with a month off of blogging on the RWR I'd have great stories and insightful things to discuss.

Wrong.

But undoubtedly you already knew that. I mean, we are talking about me, Sin- the very epitome of procrastination.

I would love to tell of a sweeping tale of my mischievousness and of my innate ability to get stuff done even while more stuff is crashing down around me. Alas, I cannot. I mean, I could lie. Pirates are good at that. But I don't even find excitement in the prospect of it all.

With that being said, there is something to be said for moving two steps forward. Even if you fall one steps back. I've been thinking on my urban fantasy series (UFS). I spoke a few months ago on Anime always being a part of my life. I'm caught up in the drama of the picturesque way cartoonist draw the characters and tell the story. Always tales of the hero's journey, drama, angst, romance. And the blood curdling action. Death in Anime is awe-inspiring to a writer's imagination. The very scene wells inside your heart, grabs a hold of your creative juju and forces you to formulate new ideas on description.

In my mind, my UFS has played out as a live action Manga. Not quite transformed into Anime form, more picturesque in its beauty of the art form. One scene that is firmly planted in my mind is a death scene. I don't know if you've ever encountered a death scene or a scene of great angst in Anime or Manga (I urge you to pull one up online and just look at the stills of it) but these scenes always lead to great action. The hero/heroine loses someone very close to them (albeit: friend, husband, lover, family) and the hero/heroine completely loses control. Emotions spill out like blood on pavement. Your heart races in anticipation of the outcome. You know, as the viewer, something completely story changing is about to happen.

I see my UFS alive inside my mind. My heroine loses her companion. Her family hired hoards of assassins to kill her companion, and to bring my heroine back into the fold. Yet, her family wasn't aware of one thing- my heroine was holding onto her powers vicariously through her companion. Once her companion is gone, my heroine completely loses control. Every time I close my eyes, I see this behind my eyelids. The power that rises, tickles over my skin. The way it feels burning through her veins. The very static riffles through her hair as if it were a strong breeze blowing. The life snuffs out of her companion and there is no one to hold her back. No one to tell her no. No one to care. There is no one but my heroine. My heroine destroys everything without lifting a finger. Power leaks from her very soul. She no longer cares for this life that has taken so much from her and to obliterate so much life is death to herself.

The scene replays over and over again. It never alters from its original form. So as a present to myself, the scene will come alive. And I can't wait to see it in illustration form. Manga style.

So while I've not thought of clever and witty things to discuss while I've been studiously working in my office on software bugs and claim issues, my brain has obsessed over one thing. My word must be written and I must see it if I want to move on. Learn the hero's journey, see the hero's journey, live the hero's journey.

So, lately have you jumped two steps only to fall back one in your quest to finish your latest manuscript (or even your latest project)? How do you focus on completing the task at hand? (If ever.)

PS. We've been blogging together for 3 years. Three years! I have to say this is one of the longest maintained relationships I've ever had. Oddly, while I should feel dejected I've not gotten further in my goal in publishing (my fault- procrastination has it's downfalls); I feel really accomplished and proud to be a part of RWR and it's group of wonderfully accomplished wenches. Congrats on 3 years, pirates.

We have to have some fun today. I had a great blog all outlined out. Then I got distracted by a little writing this weekend. Then I went back to work on Monday and now I’m suffering from a migraine which makes any sort of creative output I might have next to nil.

So if you’re looking for some wit or insight, you will have to wait until tomorrow.

Jules is my e-mail faerie. And not just any e-mail faerie, she is the mother of all e-mail faeries. This woman dominates my inbox. (Stop smirking.) But it’s never of the written variety of e-mail. She’s high tech. She whips out her handy dandy headset and voice recorder to send me evil messages from e-mail faerie land. I download these little jaunts into Jules' world onto my phone and spend half my time snorting and the other laughing. She’s a fountain of ideas for blogs (though she refuses to GUEST with me) and a few weeks ago, Jules came up with a new nickname for me through an idea she had for a blog.

Jules is one of those sleepers. She gets all these sweet little results but has the draw of an inner sex kitten. Have you heard her laugh? I swear. She’s got the market on the evil laugh. It’s spectacular. I want once ounce of that evil ability. Right now, I’ve just got the market on ice picking and the Undead Monkey.

Today we are going to find out our sexy level. Then we’re going to hijack our heroine’s and find their sexy level. In a little quiz I’m going to call: Bringing Sexy Back

There is a difference between vamp and sexy. Vamp is all about the “oomphf” factor. Vamp isn’t subtle at all; it’s all about the show. Vamp is in your face, I want you to think I’m sexy and I’m going to get what I want out of you. The difference is sexy is about the little things that brings characters together for the uniqueness that makes a relationship different. Yeah, the vamp is going to dominate your thoughts for the first hour or so, but you're going to be thinking about the sexy long into the night.

Our heroine’s possess a certain amount of “sexy” to draw the hero into the heroine’s world. We get to pick the traits our hero finds sexy about our heroine. We can make her clumsiness and awkwardness be endearing to him. Bring out the protector and watch him be secretly amused at her inability to walk, talk and chew gum at the same time. We can make our heroine the sex kitten who everyone notices as soon as they walk in the door. She’s standing in the middle of the room, blood red dress draped over her flawless curves. The heroine knows she’s capable of anything she puts her mind to and he finds that extremely sexy.

So today, I want to talk about the traits we put into our characters to make them attract. What traits and characteristics do you find sexy in characters? And I want you to take the quiz and post your results into the comments. And if you have better quizzes (or find it extremely hilarious to see a bunch of writers take quizzes) post the links to the quiz in the comments for us all to try.

(Not the other “C” word, which coinwinkadinkaly (or maybe not so much) is the first letter of my first name.)

***

By no means am I an expert on writerly conferences. I’ve been to one several years ago (Spring Fling, Chicago, 2008) and found it to be one of the best writing experiences I’ve ever had. The kinship you have with someone as a writer, even if you don’t know them well, is incredible. The knowledge passed between groups, the camaraderie, the friendship- I honestly think writerly conferences are a good way to build back up some self-esteem (no matter if you pitch or not) and rekindle the fire you have for writing. You come home recharged and ready to go full steam ahead on your current (or new) manuscript. You keep in mind all the contacts you made, cross your T’s and dot your I’s and work super hard to produce. And sometimes at the end of the road, you’re rewarded with what you’ve worked so hard to do in the first place.

Work conferences are like that as well.

Right now I’m at a work conference. Not quite as fun as a writerly conference (and from what I’ve heard, not even a TENTH of fun as the RWA National conference.) but most of the time just as educational. Once a year I mingle with the state speaking to others who do what I do and work supportively to what I do. It’s a chance to trade secrets, learn new techniques and pawn off evil doings on others. (-That I’m kidding about. Slightly.) I’ve been at this conference every year for 7 years. Every year is a learning experience because the medical world is always changing, just like the writer’s world. As a writer we have to keep up with trends, remember who we’ve met, who we’d like to meet, what publishers want what and what agent want what. In the medical field, we have to keep up with ICD-9 (soon to be ICD-10) codes and HIPAA,  Red Flags and lien laws (Just to name a few). In the writer world we fight so hard to keep our new stories private so that no one has the chance to flag our unique ideas and rewrite them. In the medical world, we have to fight to keep your personal information private and keep you safe from identity theft. In all professions the opportunity to learn more, progress into a smarter version than the person we were. Conferences are a way to branch out and discover new ways to reinvent ourselves (or our office.)

So, as you’ve probably guessed, I’m not going to be on the blog today but the RWR pirates have promised to keep everything afloat while I’m out teaching the world how to ice pick properly and trying not to fall asleep in the back of the class. Let’s talk about our writing in a practical sense. Have you been to a conference? Taken a class (in person or online)? Belong to your local RWA chapter? What have you benefited from getting out there and improving yourself and your writing?

Music of the week: "Outta your mind" Lil Jon (Crunk Rock, 2010)
(I bet you guys didn't see that coming. I'm in a mood. Chance get the bar ready. I want to dance.)

***

You can’t deny that technology is all around us. Even as readers we’re beginning to feel the effects of the technology boom. EReaders are all the rage right now. The Nook, The Kindle, the Sony Reader, even the iPad… They are here to make the readers life easier to read in style. I’m resistant to the idea of holding an electronic device to house my usual paperback novel. I like the smell of the paper and ink. I like the way the paper crinkles between my fingers as I turn the page. (One thing I don’t like is when Mina decides to make my book her new snack.) But an eReader would’ve come in handy the last time I made a trip and wanted to pack along 10 books with me. Instead of packing along 10 books, I could’ve downloaded them all into an eReader and tucked the eReader into my bag.

I can say without a doubt I’m not the person to call if you ever needed your ancient VCR programmed. Or if you need a surround system hooked up to your HiDef flat screen TV, TiVo (or whatever the hell it is that records TV now), your cable box, Blue-Ray scanner, DiVX player, XBox 360 and Wii all into one TV.

Not going to happen in this lifetime.

Now, with that being said, I like gadgets and I love gadget research. This whole eReader thing has me curious. I’ve been completely against eReaders since the Kindle came out. Did you know the battery life is supposed to last for 2 whole weeks?! And holds 1500 books?! The little reader girl in me squealed in delight when I came upon that. Fifteen hundred books? Are you kidding me? And they’ve lowered the prices on eReaders. Which has me doing furious research on eReaders for my upcoming birthday and Christmas present. Oooooooh, Undead Monkey… I’ve found what I wanted!

(Besides my very own island. A new Z28 (Nevermind they don’t come out until 2012… we’re professionals 'round here.) and that S&W .40 I’ve been wanting but no one will dare buy me. Wonder why.)

I got sidetracked from my own blog. Tangents within tangents.

I love to read about new advances in current technology that “makes” our lives a little easier from day to day. But how do we decide what technology to include in our manuscripts?

Hellie brought up a good point the other day. In advances in series that are several books in (as well as SEVERAL years in the making) how do you gauge what fits and what doesn’t? Her point was Janet Evanovich has written a series where the heroine never ages- yet the series started in the mid-90’s when stretch pants in neon colors, big hair, Walkmans and the word “rad” were all the rage. How do you integrate iPods and Harry Potter references into that? The series produces a book a year. Obviously to appeal to younger audiences you have to reference gadgets and pop culture people recognize.

I’m sure all of us would understand record player, 8-Track and cassette tape references but kids now have lived in a world where they have only known CD’s and MP3’s, iTunes and legalized Napster. (Anybody remember the days before legalized Napster? Aimster anyone? Kazaa?) I referenced a quote the other day to a teenager, “Better eat your Wheaties.” And she just looked at me with a blank stare. She had NO idea what I was talking about. I thought that was a quote that transcended generations. Apparently not.

We all know I write tech inspired fiction. I grew up with a love for computers. My first computer was a Mac Apple IIe. My parents still have it in their basement. Anyone remember the computers of old days where you had actual floppy disks? Where you had to command the computer to do functions that we take for granted now? I own several computers now (no Apple which I plan to fix in the next year). Laptops, wireless servers, encrypted emails; sophisticated programming inspired me to write about criminally conscious women who use their skills to help others in their time of need. Research on this technology is one of those things you can’t stay ahead of the curve unless you’re at the forefront.

So let’s talk about what types of technology you feel comfortable mentioning in  your manuscripts. What do you wish you knew more about? Any opinions about technology in fiction?

Side note: I finished reading the Millennium trilogy (AKA Steig Larsson’s novels about the “hacker” Lisbeth Salander). While it wasn’t detailed, might I say that every time computer technology gets mentioned in a novel, even slightly, I go gaga. The only thing that saved the first novel for me was Lisbeth’s equal love for computer technology and the beauty of computer specs. All and all, the second book was my fav.

I don’t know if you’ve heard (and you probably don’t give a rat’s behind) but they are making the book series that made me WANT to write into a big screen picture. This beats the Twilight Saga hands down, no contest. My fictional sex god is coming to life. I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.



That’s right, One for the Money (Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series) is finally a go ahead to film.

I’m going to get to see Ranger on the big screen.

(Insert my fan girl sex god swoon right here.)

I’ve tried to tell myself he will be nothing on screen like he is in my head.

I’ve tried to tell myself that he will be a MINOR character in the first movie and not even really be much more than a passing thought to Stephanie (except when she gets handcuffed to the shower curtain rod).

What I wouldn’t give to be shivering naked around Ranger.

So tell me, what fictional character from a book would you like to see come to life on the big screen or TV?

Thanks, Lisa for throwing me a life line and uploading me some pics. I heart you babe. But I'm still not sharing Ranger.

Today is a special day on the ship. I asked if some of the pirates of the RWR would be willing to share stories of real daddies who have made us the pirates we are today. You could talk about celeb daddies who have inspired you, or your own father or dear husband.

*No hotties dripping in sweat, minus their clothes and a blatant look in their eye as they look upon you. Sorry. We’ll be back to that next Sunday.*

*blinking* Oooh. I dunno HOW that got here.

hehehehehe Hello hotties, I think all five of you will do for my new harem.


Santa: “Celebrity Dad: Hugh  Jackman. I think there's a pic of him at the beach with his daughter. Adorable. Abs on him aren't too bad either!”

“My Dad: My father was a bear of a man who was gruff on the outside but with a teddy bear soul. He's gone almost fifteen years now but I still can feel the palm of his hand as he would cup my check and call me his 'Sandarella'.  He considered himself a guide for the young guys just starting out who delivered product to us. He never turned down a kid starting out in the business who he thought should be given a shot. They don't make him like that anymore.”

“My Darling Husband is a marvelous father to our kids. He had a marvelous model in his own father who was a kind, giving giant of a man. My kids' father greets his daughters with a 'Hello, beautiful.' every morning and a resounding 'What's up, buddy?' to our son. My eldest is at an age where hugs are not given as freely as they once were but I tell him to hold steady. It'll be cool to be hugged and kissed by your dad....just in time for our youngest to scoot away.”

J Perry Stone: “Celeb:  Will Smith.  He shows his children the fabulous example of putting his marriage first.  This makes great up and coming husbands as well as up and coming wives who learn not to settle for anything less from their men.”

“My dad:  At nearly 70, my dad is still 16.  There isn't anything he won't try.  Today he tried to master one of those sand-skimmer boards that glides along shallow surf.  At 6'2" the board doesn't really skim when he jumps on it.  He came limping back to the chairs with sand in his beard and blood on his knee.   And laughing.  What's more, my dad is a renaissance man.  He can conduct a full orchestra and choir (which he did for 30 years), build houses and cars, and laugh at fart jokes while wearing a full tux with tails.”

“My husband:  He listens, he never repeats mistakes, he puts the kids to bed every night (checking teeth and reading stories), he always keeps his promises, he makes elaborate breakfasts for the kids on the weekends, he keeps kids away from their mama when she's about to go nutball with their bickering, and he puts Will Smith to shame.”

Hellion: “I love my Daddy because he's smart, handsome, capable, and witty as hell. When I was little, he would take me for rides on his motorcycle and we'd go tearing up and down the pasture, having a grand old time; he also took me fishing and he taught me to swim. He could make anything he needed--and was able to make things I'd need for projects as well; and he could also cook and clean up after himself. I get my sarcastic wit from him--and one of my favorite witticisms was him explaining to my aunt what the bead necklaces hanging off my rearview mirror meant. He claimed they were my speedometer for my car. If they were trailing toward the backseat, I was driving too fast. If they were hitting the windshield, I was braking too fast. And if they were spinning in a circle, she better be seat belted because I clearly didn't know where I was going. (This was a response off the fly, when he was 85 or 86...He's only gotten more smart-alecky as time passes.)”

Sin:

“Dear daddy,

I get my ninja skills from you. We both know I could best you in a match of ultimate awesomeness. Even the flight attendant on the plane agreed. Obviously, he knew what he was talking about. He saw potential in my ninjaness. Well, among other things.

While you have lost the ninja debate, you’re a great man who I look up to and defer to your magic skills of remodel and fix-it abilities. While you spent most of my childhood working to make sure we had a roof over our head and food to eat, you took time out of relaxing in front of the TV to teach me how to pitch a softball. How to shoot the hook shot and the three and dribble like a guard in the pros. You encouraged my love of sports even though I was (and still am) clumsy, awkward and so far from graceful there should be a youtube channel of my antics. You drove me to challenge myself and continue working on my game, all the while you were teaching me the real lesson in life. You don’t have to be born with the talent to shine, hard work, determination and stubbornness can get you there too. You just have to fight for what you want and don’t get discouraged when you fall short. Pick yourself up and try again.

And I’ve fallen off ponies. And fallen off the roof in my attempt to fly. And fallen down as I tried to jump on the merry-go-round. Fallen out of trees. Been down, discouraged and ready to give up. Broken bones and skinned knees and burned the skin from my flesh (not to mention the misfortunate of sharp objects operating near me) and all the scars I have are to show that you taught me never give up. I’ll never give up.

So, in honor of all you’ve give me, I picked up something real nice for you daddy. A special, “That’s about enough of that.” for Father’s day. *grin* I knew you’d like it.

Happy Father’s day, daddy. I love you (I know you just grimaced- get over it.)

Your Monkey, Toots.

Chance: “Dad was a handsome man and sent several of my girlfriends into a bit of a swoon. He also was the master of the colloquialism. "Stand on my head and spit nickels" was a favorite of his and he actually did it while teasing my niece one day. She never forgot it! Another was "Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick" ... "We're off like a herd of turtles!" And of course, "I danced with a girl like that once."

“He's gone now, three years on the Fourth of July. One of the last things he said to my mom involved their meeting and how it changed his life. "Made all the difference." Not a bad memory to leave my Mom. I sure miss him.”

Marnee: My dad - My dad passed away five years ago, a month after my wedding.  Lung cancer, an unapologetic smoker all his life.  My mom said when she cleaned out his truck, she found massive amounts of pain meds--Tylenol, ibuprofen, prescription stuff that she isn't sure how he got his hands on it.  We're pretty sure he knew what was coming and was trying his damnedest to stay out of the hospital as long as he could.

I remember the month before my wedding, asking him if he had a preference for a father/daughter dance song.  I fully expected him to let me choose as that was kind of his way.  But he said he'd get back to me and a week later, called me across the state to say he'd chosen "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride.  I thought it was sweet, but only later did I realize he might have been saying something to me.  I miss him.

"In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy
she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes."

My hubby - I haven't got enough words to say how impressed I am with the kind of father my husband has become.  Just tonight he fetched water for a preschooler trying to drag out bedtime, helped burb an infant whose mom's feet were tiring out, and watered plants with a boy who's desperately trying to feel important in a house overrun with a new baby, even though it would have been much faster to water them alone.  He loves us all every day and he humbles me.

So tell us pirates of the RWR all about a special man in your life or you can just talk about what hottie you’d like to see next week. I’m all about some naked hottieness.

Promise Me by Kill Hannah (Wake Up the Sleepers, 2009)

When I was a little girl, I liked to build things. Now mathematics are not my forte so building things for a living probably wouldn’t suit me (unless you want to live in a house with odd dimensions or drive on a bridge that is lopsided) but I’m still fascinated with building things in my head. It’s seeing it form from the ground up. Watching it grow and prosper under your watchful eye until it takes the shape you’ve obsessed over since day one.

Writing is building. You build the foundation upon what you want your writing to be. You build your characters, the world they live in. Everything fictional in your mind is built by you. I find one of the most challenging building projects while writing is the relationships your characters have. Relationships are messy, complicated and never easy. Therefore, writing a relationship is a messy, complicated and never easy process.

When writing in your story, you can fix the relationship however you want it. Friends, family, lovers, their relationship ARCs are based how you want them to read. A relationship with someone tells your reader a lot more than just how the character interacts with that one person. It can tell them how that person perceives the world around them, the world they grew up in, and the way they live their life now. Relationships can take different turns depending on how the relationship was built. You can build a relationship through work. Common interests. Mutual respect. Love. Trust. Commitment. Duty. The list is longer than I truly want to blog. But what got me started writing was a relationship. The reason I keep writing is, well, lost to me now. Emotional ties to something intangible. Relationships with my characters who are fictional and run rampant in my head. My brain is a jumble of voices just waiting to break loose on a blank screen.

In the case of my characters, particularly my hero and heroine, they’ve deemed their relationship inhabitable. It makes for difficult writing. It also makes for frustration. Bouts of periodic pissiness on the part of the writer. And incredible mood swings.  I knew writing wasn’t easy. In fact, writing might be the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish. But characters who loathe the sight of one another (my heroine practically hisses every time he comes within a 100 yard radius of her) is giving me more fits than I care to talk about. I didn’t realize they were married. I didn’t realize she was still madly in love with him, and madder than a rattled hornets nest for him leaving her alone. Then I wrote him sitting by her bedside in the dark and realized he loved her too. It took this realization for me to be able to connect to him. He knows he’s fcked up but he can’t fix it and she wouldn’t let him if he tried.

So what does he try to do?

If you said fix their relationship… *sigh* That would be easier. But that is not the case.

So tell me what is your favorite part of writing? Doesn’t necessarily need to be your strongest point, but the part of writing you enjoy so much it keeps you going. And have you ever been surprised by a relationship in your writing you had no idea about? (Readers: Surprised by a relationship in a novel you’ve read you didn’t see coming?)

You know... blow stuff up.
A few years ago when Hells and I started working towards our writing goals together, I quickly realized she is a movie person. Hells can remember all these quotes and scenes and refer back to them when she's writing or making a point. Mr. and Mrs. Smith came out and Hells said several things about this movie, to which I ignored because I'm not much of a movie person (much like I'm not much of a suspense/mystery/horror novel reader). Finally she brought it over for me to watch. "You have to see this movie. You have to."
We watched the movie and I can see why she likes it. The quips between the heroine and hero are hilarious. The action is fantastical. It's overall a great movie and sparks a lot of writing imagination. So today, we're going to celebrate Mr. and Mrs. Smith and tell me who your favorite heroine and hero are in movie. (Doesn't matter if it's animated or regular.)

There is nothing more- um... -gratifying, satisfying, hilarious than belonging to a group of fabulous brilliant, talented, filthy pirates who enjoy a nice tall drink of dark, chiseled, wonderfully proportionate man. I'm a fan of man candy. Nice to look at, wouldn't necessarily want to hold or have a conversation with him while I'm blatantly drooling all over him, but I'm too polite to put duct tape over his beautiful lips while I imagine what else he could use them for.

So, Friday, Hells in her infinite man wisdom (of looking at man candy, of course) gave us a little something to get us pirates through the day. And I will share, only because I think it's SINFUL to keep something like this to myself. Well, I already had my way with him in my own little world, so now I'll share.  (Plus, DRD is mad that we're passing around pics of her boyfriend, so all the more reason to-) Enjoy!











Love those dreamy sex eyes... *ducking an empty rum bottle* That's not nice, Donna. I did give him back when I was through!

Thank you. Thank you. *taking a curtsy* I'll be here all month. Wait, I probably shouldn't tell you that so you'll come back.

Just a little hate mail between my two main characters. They have a little pent up frustration between them.

~*~

To: hero @ W S S LLC. com
From: heroine @ M C S LLC. com
Subject: Being a hero doesn’t suit you.

Dear Hero,

Your pathetic excuse of a spy doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. A tip from one boss to another, employ people who have their tongues cut out, lips sewn shut, loyal to a fault or- this might be the best advice of all- do your own dirty work.

Just a suggestion, dear.

It is high time I set you straight. I’ve spent the past five years pretending you (and what you’ve done) don’t exist. I now realize I can keep on denying your existence in the world (trust me, I’m tempted) or we can just talk like civilized people and find a reasonable solution to this little problem. Though, I’ve been advised that a reasonable solution is not blowing out the tires on your Mustang at 100 mph and watch you careen over the edge of a bluff.

Pity.

The world is a two way street of good and evil, Hero. I am a thief. I steal because I want to, because I’m good at it. Just like you kill people to keep others safe from harm, to keep the balance of power between you and the bad guys. I know what you’re doing. Your attempts at blackmailing me into getting what you want aren’t lost on me. And in my grayscale world, there is no room for you constantly watching and waiting in the wings for me to screw up. It’s not in my nature to screw up and I can’t afford it in my line of work. And frankly, the thought of it pisses me off.

I know you’ve kept tabs on me for the past five years. On my business and the people I associate with. I can’t begin to understand why you do this. As far as I know, what I do in my own life is none of your concern. So maybe you could remember that the next time you send two inconspicuous giants to tail me in an expensive black SUV with heavily tinted windows. I’m not sorry about that. You can forward me the medical bills and I’ll have my accountant take care of them. But next time, I can’t be held accountable for what happens.  They are big boys. They can take care of themselves, I’m sure.

What I’m trying to say, Hero, is five years may not be eternity in the grand scheme of things; I’m a different person now. These eyes have seen the world, memorized every little detail and burned it into my memory. You changed me in ways I can’t comprehend, can’t control, and can’t fathom. And I have no desire to more thought into it. As for your favor, your asking price is too high and I can’t go back and be who you want me to be. There is too much history between us to forgive and forget. So give me what I want and do what you’re good at, Hero.

Walk away before this gets ugly.

Your Heroine

My heroine and “hero” are at odds in my RS. (Light on the R- unless you count love affairs of guns, mayhem and violence, then it’s definitely filled with R.) What is your favorite way to get the “hero” and “heroine” at odds with each other? Anyone want to write a passive aggressive note to one of your characters from another?



I had a good time writing mine.



Obviously.

Tear the World Down- We Are the Fallen (Tear the World Down, 2010)

Once again, it’s time to step away from the box.

What does this have to do with writing? Has anyone else started to notice a trend lately with their favorite series? Anita Blake is now a Comic. (Kim Harrison) The Hollows are going Graphic (Not to mention the Twilight series has gone there already). And my favorite old school Manga (Sailor Moon) was turned into a cartoon series (1990s) and even spawned into some movies. The art of picture novel is looking for a broader audience, starting with you. Yes, you my little novel reader.  Why? Why not. In the world of Internet, Podcasts and the Kindle, there are fewer and fewer people picking up the written word. And in the world of the writer, change is on the horizon and you’ve got to find ways to make yourself marketable to the masses. Marketing yourself to the masses means widening your written horizons.  And to widen those horizons and stay true to your abilities, you’ve got to think on different creative levels to gain those would be readers.

Now, you might be wondering what the difference is between comics and graphic novels (I hear it’s a topic that comes up a lot). Or even wondering WTF manga is or if it’s a new term for the Alan Alda. (I promise manga is NOT.) And because I heart the Wiki, the Wiki is what I’ll use to explain these to you (or not. You’ve probably stopped reading by now. If that’s true then boo on you.)

Comics are pretty self-explanatory, I would think. Most of us grew up with Spiderman, Superman, Iron Man, The Hulk, Wonder Woman, Batman as comic book heroes (and heroines). I couldn’t wait to read the comic strips (ie: Calvin and Hobbes, Peanuts) in  the newspaper on Sunday morning. (Do they still do that?) Recently, Hollywood has gone Comic book mad and made a bunch of comic books into movies. (Kick-Ass was pretty kick ass. The Losers, meh, I wasn’t sold on it. I thought it was lackluster at best.) Comics are a series told over a span of editions and volumes. Usually comics are targeted over the broader audience range, aiming for kids and adults alike. While there may be violence and the occasional “encounter” with a member of the opposite sex, it’s usually pretty mild. Comics have been around for a while and lots of people are collectors and enjoy the simplicity of comics as an art form. But when you flip to the last page in your comic, it’s not the end of the story. Just the end of the comic until the next edition comes out.

Graphic novels takes a comic book to the next level by making the comic book an actual illustrated version of a novel. There is a beginning, a middle and an end to every book. I think the actual work is more detailed, vivid, the novel themes seem to be darker. A great example of GN to movie is Watchmen. The GN isn’t geared toward younger audiences, tending to go for more adult themes.

Experts and readers alike argue over the terms of comic book or graphic novel. Some people are not keen on the “graphic novel” label. I’m a fan of the definition to separate the two.

Now, Manga.  Manga being Japanese comics/graphic novels (interchangeable). (See, I told you not the Alan Alda.)

I’m a fan of the visuals Manga inspired comic bring to the page. The art form of Manga is beautiful all on its own. Japan, with the original art form of Manga, haas everyone beat on the beauty the artist can bring to the page with the story. One of my favorites is Sailor Moon. The story of a clumsy girl who happens to turn out to be the leader of a ragtag mix of girls destined to save the universe from evil doers who would harness the good in everyone to destroy everything.

Amerimanga is often referred to when speaking of Manga inspired American comic/graphic novel illustrators and writers. The American art form of Manga is a different style than the tradition Japanese Manga. I believe mostly based off the differences in culture and popularity of the illustration design.

When thinking of all three forms, I think of the difference in illustration as visual form of difference. And if thinking about visual differences in outlets, I can’t stop this blog without writing about the recent trend to bring book series to life on the TV and Silver Screen.

In the move to get more readers excited about reading, Hollywood has come calling to several authors for big time movie contracts and TV deals. One of my favorite series of all time, Stephanie Plum (Author: Janet Evanovich) is finally *crossing fingers* going to make it to the big screen. Ms. Evanovich sold her rights to the first book, One for the Money, more than a decade ago. Several scripts were written. A TV movie made and shelved quickly and more scripts and production companies later, the book is finally coming to life. Nicholas Sparks *eye roll* has plenty of books turned movies (I will concede The Notebook broke my heart, but I did not cry.) Not to mention the interest the movie builds for movie goers who don’t typically read fiction. The Time Traveler’s Wife, My Sister’s Keeper and The Lovely Bones generated more interest in the fiction novel that inspired the movie. (I’d like to see the numbers on book sales after the movie made it to the big screen and numbers on library loans.)

But movies aren’t the only way to go. Many book series’ have been turned into TV series’. I bet you know of True Blood on HBO. (Fangbanger, anyone?) Charlaine Harris started the Sookie Stackhouse series (AKA: Southern Vampire series) in 2001 (I’m pretty sure, correct me if I’m off.) and the series and it’s popularity has grown into a massive following of readers and TV Series lovers alike.

The series Blood Ties on Lifetime hooked me into a world of a vampire, Henry (none other than Henry, dead son of Henry the VIII) partnered to a former police officer turned private investigator, Vicki Nelson, to solve crimes of the paranormal kind. The Blood books were written in the 90’s (early 90’s) and just adapted into a TV series in the mid 2000’s. This was one paranormal series I had not enjoyed before the series made it to TV. I’m sad that Tanya Huff stopped at 6 books but it was about the closure she gave her readers without dragging it out and killing the love of the characters.

Okay, I can talk about this all day, so I’m just going to get to the question. With the growing trend of the written word into visual form, could you imagine branching your novel out into a visual representation of your story? And what form would you want it to take?

A rant of sorts.

Bittersweet Causality (song)- Cold Driven (band)- Set in Stone (album)  -- My new Kiki and Dex theme song.


“We made a killer out of you and a hostage out of me. I’m just a bittersweet causality. We brought the devil out of you and the sinner out of me. It’s not fair; but love is war. I can’t live this way. I’m living like a hostage.  Don’t leave me. I’m too scared to say anything. But I can’t live this way.”

I read a lot of books where characters don’t actually work. You know, that thing that me and you do on a regular basis. Usually these characters are already wealthy from some endeavor before you’ve even cracked open the brand new spine of the first book. It’s usually a man- who owns half the town. Has more frienemies than actual family or friends. A new age tycoon of sorts. He’s gorgeous (of course) with a killer body, an ability to handle himself in a fight and has mass respect on the street. I don’t find anything wrong with this. In fact, if this man was real (ie: If Ranger (Evanovich- Plum series) was real and not a fictional character I’d like to tie to the bed and have my wicked way with) I would hunt him down and have to meet this real life stereotypical fictional hero. He finds heroine interesting because she’s a bumbling fumbling incompetent woman, or because she’s so sarcastic and cynical he finds it a challenge to be in her presence, and therefore decides he must have her.

I find it’s not often you run across a heroine in a novel who can handle herself and has money to run her life the way she wants to run it without man regularly around. The heroine who only invites a man into her life because she finds his friendship to be advantageous when she’s in the need of it. The heroine who devotes her life to being single and living a life outside of the box. Heroes have this life in almost every book I pick up. It’s always the hero who is closed off, who is unable to take the risk and have a relationship other than friends with benefits (FWB). And the heroine is always unwilling to take that step because they are dreaming about the life they want to have in the future and not living for the moment where they could have what they want.

Time for heroines to have the same advantages, if you ask me, we’re more equipped to deal with it. We’ve just been hardwired wrong from the beginning. We’re brainwashed by this stereotype. Women are way too detailed oriented for this to be going on. We’re organized. We’re cut throat and we’re straight to the point. I refuse to read another book about a weak heroine who needs a man to take care of her or the woman is constantly thinking about her chances of getting married with a white picket fence in her future.

No offense mama, but if you were tut-tuting me like Stephanie Plum’s mother does about her getting married and having babies, I’d blow you up in the next vehicle that came my way. Or the way Rachel (Harrison’s Hollows series) reminds herself that she’d like to settle down with a nice witch and have a famil y someday. It’s a nice dream, sure, but I don’t need reminders in novels. You don’t have to have that to have a full and rich life. It’s about the people your characters surround themselves with and who you surround yourself with in your life. That’s the richest part of the story. Life and all the great things that happen along the way. You have to take the heartache with the happiness. Growth is the essential element in all life, fictional and real.

Live for the moment and not for what will happen in the future. Here is where my “happy for now” (HFN) comes into play. I’m not a fan of the “happily ever after” (HEA) shit. I’m tired of reading it. Nothing rarely works out for the happily ever after. Marriage is work. Life is work. And it’s hard. It’s not one of those things where you slip a glass slipper on some bitches foot at the end and it all works out like magic. I’m pretty sure if Prince Charming knew Ms. Sleeping Beauty had a sleeping pill addiction and hid her pills under her feather mattress, not all would be happy in the “Charming” household. Or Snow White and her seven dwarves. I highly doubt any testosterone charged man would really just forget his wife spent time with seven dwarves. Sounds like he might find a nice little “surprise” on some pay by the second website featuring his wife as the star.

Fiction is fiction and enjoy it for what it is- yeah sure. I like fiction with challenge of life. If your character does something to disrupt the Karma flow, well I want to see the cause and effect. Kiki steals shit. Kiki gets caught, her ass kicked, blackmailed and ditched. If you keep doing the dance with Karma, I totally expect the next effect of Karma to be showing you exactly what happens when you disrespect the cosmic flow of life. And Kiki gets hers. Just like any other character in a fictional novel.

For once I want to see a strong heroine kick some ass on her own. I’m not even managing it in my own series. Dex is just getting in the way. Just like any other asshole male on the face of the planet. He’s not capable to realizing she can handle this on her own.  If I didn’t have designs for him in future novels, I’d take his ass out via acid pit, or exploding vehicle, sniper fire, flame thrower, fitted for concrete shoes and pitched into the Missouri River. I mean, I can come up with all sorts of ways I’d enjoy getting rid of him *clearing throat* I mean, all the ways Kiki would enjoy getting rid of Dex. But I can’t. I’m caught in my own web of stereotypical writing behavior.

So I want to hear what you think is stereotypical behavior in heroines and heroes. What do you read about most often and what just really irks you about the novels you read? And what stereotypical behaviors do you enjoy in novels but never see?

Okay, I’m going to put a warning on this. I don’t want a repeat of the glorious “picture” incident with Hellie. Trust me. If I close my eyes, I can still see it.  Literally startled the hell out of me. (Thanks a lot, GPS.) If you’re at work where other people can glance over your shoulder and raise their eyebrows at the type of stuff you read on your work computer, this blog may not be for you. And if you just don’t care and say fck it on a daily basis, rock on. I can respect that.

So clear your mind and think of the possibilities. Any of these strike your character's fancy?

Chandelier? Table? Backseat of a vehicle? Office? Dressing room in a retail store? Nightclub? Motorcycle? Park bench? Hotel balcony? Fed Ex truck. (sorry there is one across the street and it sparked my muse.) Truck bed? Barn roof, tack room, hay loft? Coat closet? Pool table?

I have a confession to make. And to quote an LL Cool J song, “Conventional methods kinda bore me”. That’s right. I said it. I need action. I need excitement. I need… hm, Ranger in the Explorer under a street light on a stake out.

I’m talking about sex scenes. Writing about anything in the norm puts me to sleep. Living a normal life? Boring. Stuck in a routine? Boring. Lay on your back and take it like a champ? Borrrr- ring. This might be because I lead a semi-vanilla real life. I mean no offense when I say this, but vanilla every time bores the hell out of me.

I enjoy the occasional vanilla story. (Mostly because I enjoy historicals and you can’t exactly have your historical heroine ride someone reverse cowgirl in front of a mirror right off the bat. Seems a bit too bold and contemporary.)  I’m not picking on the writers who write these stories. There is a HUGE market for vanilla. Vanilla is good but I’m a swirl kind of girl with sprinkles. So when I write, I think about all the places that could be and I go for it. I don’t have anything to lose by attempting to write it other than a horrible faking attempt and I’m a writer. One of the very first rules of writing a good sex scene is don’t get caught faking it. Or if you do, never confess to the faking. Fake the reason you faked it.

I feel like we’ve all run into stereotypical sex scene writing comments and expectations of our lives outside of writing. I have some confessions to make today, and I can’t wait to hear some of yours.

True Confession Number 1:  Just because I wrote a sex scene where the hero pushes the heroine against the wall and gets more than hot and heavy and sweaty against the door of his apartment where everyone can hear; or the heroine reverse cowgirls the hero in front of the mirror so they can both watch; or the heroine strips for the hero and video tapes it… doesn’t mean I do this is on a daily basis in my personal life.

Trust me; I’d love to attempt half the scenes I write. Maybe not the video taping one. I don’t want to see that. I’d have performance anxiety after that because I wouldn’t be able to stop from critiquing myself. Writing a sex scene is about being able to act out private fantasies (at least in my world) on paper. The thought of sex in unusual places is intriguing to me. How far can you push something without getting caught? It gets me every time. Nothing hotter than attempting something you’re not sure you’d attempt in your every day life because let’s face it. We all live vicariously through our characters.

True Confession Number 2: You are not going to receive a scarlet letter or a permanent marking on your being for writing a sex scene a little wilder than vanilla.

Your face may flame thinking about what you just wrote, but no one is gonna know you think about those things but you. At least until you’ve sold about a million copies and even if you sell one, I say to hell with it. I’m a big girl. I can write what I want.

True, we all have professional and personal lives. That’s what pen names and secret lives are for. You think if the Mattycakes ever read a sex scene that I wrote that he wouldn’t look at me with a raised eyebrow and say, “Really?” with that look of disbelief? Please. My writing world is much different than my personal world. My mind is not a dull place. Your mind is not a dull place. Do not treat it as such.

True Confession Number 3: I like to write sex scenes but being relied on TO write sex scenes kills my fictional sex drive.

Don’t get me wrong, writing sex is just another scene between my hero and heroine to move their relationship and story further on the pages. Being expected to write sex between a hero and heroine (aka: Steph and Ranger) when I’m not feeling the heat between them? NEARLY impossible. It’s almost impossible to fake tension between characters when they’ve (you’ve) lost it. And you NEED tension to make a sex scene hot and believable. It’s like writing in a round robin and everyone leaves the sex up to you. What if I’m not in the mood? What if the characters aren’t in the mood? I may like control, but if I were a character in a novel, I’d be that character that HATES to be relied on. I have a fear of disappointment. A fear of believing in my abilities. So don’t rely on me. I can’t be trusted. It makes me just want to do the opposite of everything and say the hell with it, and write about sex no one truly wants to read about. (Well I’m sure there is someone out there, probably just not my target audience.)

And for my last one of the day- True Confession Number 4:  You can’t be afraid to take a risk or make a mistake. Pull up your big girl panties and JUST DO IT!

If you never take a risk or make a mistake in writing, how do you GROW as a writer? Before I wrote my first sex scene, I was scared witless to post it and let the world read it. How would they react? What kind of comments would I get? What if I got flamed and embarrassed and could never write ever again? Writing on fanfiction.net was like reliving the first year of high school all over again. Even with a pen name, even with NO ONE knowing me, there was still that deep down fear that I would be shunned. But I took a gamble and posted my first sex scene and haven’t looked back since. To write is to grow as a person. Don’t stifle your creativity because you’re afraid. Fear is just the unknown reaction to an action. You’ll never know what you can accomplish if you don’t jump into the deep end and swim. Or drown. Either way at least you’ll know for future reference.



Okay, ‘fess up. What’s your number one sex scene writing confession? Most interesting place you’ve let your characters do the “act”? Anyone read of an interesting sex scene place lately? I need a fresh new idea. The chandelier is proving to be quite difficult task. Gimme a challenge. I have a round robin chapter to write.

I so didn't go in the direction I wanted to go with this blog. Maybe next time.

Stuck on Repeat:  Ten Years (song) – Rev Theory (band) – Alt. Rock (genre) – Light It Up (album)

As a writer I’ve spent countless hours contemplating characteristics for heroes/heroines, secondary characters, and villains. It’s like a mental chess game with yourself. I capture one piece; then I sacrifice another. I make a move for the future, then I distract you with another. Each turn brings me closer to the goal of checkmate. In this case each piece is strategically placed to create who I see in my mind and how I want that to translate on paper into my ever-evolving final drafted character.

Yet, no written character remains unchanged. From the first time they step out onto that page, your character is constantly changing shape. You see this growth the most in a series where the main character is changing to adapt to new situations. You see this transition much faster in a single title as your main characters only have 400 pages to change and mold into the person they need to be to have the HEA (happily ever after)/HFN (happy for now-preferred by me).  Character ARCs are complex in nature, yet one of the easiest things to write because we have a chance to draw on personal experiences. Combined with the chess game, your character becomes a bigger than life person on page and draws the reader into the story.

Songs bring a lot of personality into my writing. I tend to get stuck on certain songs when I’m writing (repeat was a wonderful invention, IMHO). A thought. A memory. A phrase. Anything can stick in your mind and influence the foundation of your character. Music tends to keep my creative flow running. If I’m having a hard time, I take a song and I write something to it with my character- take the emotion from one thing and transfer it into another. Heartbreak, disappointment, anxiety, joy, your characteristic chemistry is what helps your character deal with those emotions.  Kiki’s characteristics make it difficult for me to express emotion through her point-of-view simply because she often feels every step she takes is one that can be exploited. Yet, for me, writing with music helps me step over that struggle and keep pushing forward with her characterization.

Certain characteristics run rampant in our writing as much as your voice sticks out like a beacon to your readers. Even reading our blogs every week, you don’t need to look at the bottom of the page to know who wrote this. While it may be routine for me to blog on Wednesdays (now alternating with the fabulous DRD), if I moved to Fridays, I’m pretty sure just by the tone of sentence structure, you’d know it was me writing it. Just as you’d know it was Chanceroo, Bo’sun, Hells, DRD, Hal, Marn… so on and so forth. It’s the characterization of our personalities, of our voices that show you who we are.

I spent a few years writing fan fiction, we all know this since I’m not afraid to really talk about it no matter how taboo it is or not. Learning how to write characters through someone else’s characterization of the same character helped me learn an appreciation for what it takes to make a multi-dimensional character come alive on the page. It gave me a challenge to stretch that character into something the character wasn’t but was still recognizable to a reader.

Characterization is everywhere. I see it every day, through patients, through family members, through brief interactions with people walking down the street. That’s why people watching is good for the writers brain. It gives your brain a chance to interact with the outside world while allowing it to feed on new characteristics to bring to your writing. While observing is good practice (especially if you have a good memory bank), drawing inspiration for characters is a must to create that unique personality guaranteed to sell your story.

Where do you draw your inspiration to sketch up new characters? What author inspires you to think up your own crazy cast of characters? What characteristics do you find yourself writing most often?

Hi and Ahoy and all that jazz, it's your favorite and only pirate ninja aboard the RWR, Sin. Today is a very special day aboard the RWR as we're welcoming on our newest captive- um, I mean crew member- the DRD (as I like to call her), Dead Reckoning Donna! We picked up DRD from her own ship and put her up in her very own spacious dungeon- um, I mean cabin- so that she can help us help you in your quest for all things writing and reading. The very ambitious DRD will be alternating with me every Wednesday. Just think, you only have to put up with two blogs a month of my rambling nonsense. See, some good really does come to bad pirates and wenches. *grin*

With no further ado, please make some ruckus for the DRD and make her feel welcome in her new prison- um, I mean home.

***

Welcome to the inaugural sailing of DRD Cruise Lines!  I'm Dead Reckoning Donna, and I want to warn you, the waters can get a little choppy as we leave port (especially if you try to nickname me "Dead").  So sit back, get comfortable, and hoist your tankard of rum.  I'm going to spin you a fantastical tale while we share this three-hour tour.

Each of us has our own source of writing inspiration, something that helps us create and mold our stories, an elusive creature we worship with cult-like devotion.

No, I'm not talking about the Kraken.  I am talking about a muse.  Or in my case, Muse, capitalized because it's her title, her calling, her raison d'etre, the reason she can be such a pain in the--

My Muse is Endora.  (For the young pirates aboard, she's the temperamental mother in the TV show Bewitched.  For the rest of you, thank you for your sympathy.)

Endora is the perfect storm of haughtiness, disdain, and tough love.  During her unpredictable visits, I count myself lucky when she remembers to call me Donna instead of Durwood.  If there is anyone who is more confident of their contrary opinions, I haven't met them yet.  She'll bark out a laugh when I startle her with something funny (especially if I didn't MEAN for it to be funny).  She'll wrinkle her nose and sniff as if the litter box is overflowing when I've offended her storytelling sensibilities.

She's also incredibly surprised when I create something that amuses her.  I live for those rare moments when her heavily penciled eyebrows shoot up with astonished admiration.  She's miserly with her praise, as if each encouraging word causes a sharp pain in her soul, but I make her give until it hurts.

She's a witch with a capital B, but I'm driven to please her.   And she knows it.

Endora loves her job, but she's also flighty, and fickle, and rather capricious about when she will actually do it.  She is incapable of keeping to a regular schedule, so I've quit suggesting it.  If I accidentally bore her, there's a snap of fingers and a puff of smoke, and I'm instantly alone, staring at a blinking cursor on the computer screen, wondering how to lure the insufferable wench back.

What I usually do is tap away at the keyboard, resigning myself to the fact that I'm going to have to do this writing thing on my own for a little while.  Somehow the mundane task of typing entices Endora. Maybe she's planning to thump me on the head for waking her from her beauty nap.  Or maybe she's come to warn me of the hex with my name on it if I don't stop trying to write solo.

I'm never sure WHY this technique brings her back.  I doubt she knows either.  But it does.  The next thing I know, she's looking over my shoulder, snorting with derision, and then I hear a muttered, "I suppose that part's not too horrid."   It's hard to tell which of us is the most surprised by her grudging approval.

The tricky part is figuring out WHAT makes Endora happy, because, as with any diva, it's never the same thing twice.  If she adores chocolate one day, and the words flow after I've presented her with the most exquisite confections ever made. . .the next time she'll take one bite of the same stuff and spit it out as if I'd given her a clod of dirt.  If I take a nap to deal with the heartbreak of her desertion, she plops down next to me, whispering tantalizing plot points in my ear until I am wide awake, frantic to give her my undivided attention again.

Yet, as contrary as the old gal is, I can't imagine what my writing life would be like without her.  There's some sort of magic in this partnership of ours, and I've quit trying to figure out the dysfunctional workings of it.  Ultimately she seems proud of my efforts, and I like to believe she wouldn't hang around if she didn't get something out of the experience.  (I don't want to even contemplate how many other unfortunate writers she torments on her daily rounds.  We could probably have an annual convention.)

Mmm, looks like we're returning to port already.  *taps watch*  Did we finish early?  It sure didn't seem like we used the whole three hours. . .

Well, anyway, I want to thank everyone for choosing DRD Cruise Lines today, and I'm really looking forward to future trips with you.  I know you're reluctant to leave, but we'll be docking soon, so if you'd like to line up over here--

*ship lists severely to one side*

Careful!  Don't everyone try to de-boat at once!  You'll tip this thing over!

So, do you have a muse?  What is he/she like?  How do you keep your muse happy?  How does she reward you for your efforts?