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Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Dear Hero
Just a little hate mail between my two main characters. They have a little pent up frustration between them.
To: hero @ W S S LLC. com
From: heroine @ M C S LLC. com
Subject: Being a hero doesn’t suit you.
Dear Hero,
Your pathetic excuse of a spy doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. A tip from one boss to another, employ people who have their tongues cut out, lips sewn shut, loyal to a fault or- this might be the best advice of all- do your own dirty work.
Just a suggestion, dear.
It is high time I set you straight. I’ve spent the past five years pretending you (and what you’ve done) don’t exist. I now realize I can keep on denying your existence in the world (trust me, I’m tempted) or we can just talk like civilized people and find a reasonable solution to this little problem. Though, I’ve been advised that a reasonable solution is not blowing out the tires on your Mustang at 100 mph and watch you careen over the edge of a bluff.
Pity.
The world is a two way street of good and evil, Hero. I am a thief. I steal because I want to, because I’m good at it. Just like you kill people to keep others safe from harm, to keep the balance of power between you and the bad guys. I know what you’re doing. Your attempts at blackmailing me into getting what you want aren’t lost on me. And in my grayscale world, there is no room for you constantly watching and waiting in the wings for me to screw up. It’s not in my nature to screw up and I can’t afford it in my line of work. And frankly, the thought of it pisses me off.
I know you’ve kept tabs on me for the past five years. On my business and the people I associate with. I can’t begin to understand why you do this. As far as I know, what I do in my own life is none of your concern. So maybe you could remember that the next time you send two inconspicuous giants to tail me in an expensive black SUV with heavily tinted windows. I’m not sorry about that. You can forward me the medical bills and I’ll have my accountant take care of them. But next time, I can’t be held accountable for what happens. They are big boys. They can take care of themselves, I’m sure.
What I’m trying to say, Hero, is five years may not be eternity in the grand scheme of things; I’m a different person now. These eyes have seen the world, memorized every little detail and burned it into my memory. You changed me in ways I can’t comprehend, can’t control, and can’t fathom. And I have no desire to more thought into it. As for your favor, your asking price is too high and I can’t go back and be who you want me to be. There is too much history between us to forgive and forget. So give me what I want and do what you’re good at, Hero.
Walk away before this gets ugly.
Your Heroine
My heroine and “hero” are at odds in my RS. (Light on the R- unless you count love affairs of guns, mayhem and violence, then it’s definitely filled with R.) What is your favorite way to get the “hero” and “heroine” at odds with each other? Anyone want to write a passive aggressive note to one of your characters from another?
I had a good time writing mine.
Obviously.
~*~
To: hero @ W S S LLC. com
From: heroine @ M C S LLC. com
Subject: Being a hero doesn’t suit you.
Dear Hero,
Your pathetic excuse of a spy doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut. A tip from one boss to another, employ people who have their tongues cut out, lips sewn shut, loyal to a fault or- this might be the best advice of all- do your own dirty work.
Just a suggestion, dear.
It is high time I set you straight. I’ve spent the past five years pretending you (and what you’ve done) don’t exist. I now realize I can keep on denying your existence in the world (trust me, I’m tempted) or we can just talk like civilized people and find a reasonable solution to this little problem. Though, I’ve been advised that a reasonable solution is not blowing out the tires on your Mustang at 100 mph and watch you careen over the edge of a bluff.
Pity.
The world is a two way street of good and evil, Hero. I am a thief. I steal because I want to, because I’m good at it. Just like you kill people to keep others safe from harm, to keep the balance of power between you and the bad guys. I know what you’re doing. Your attempts at blackmailing me into getting what you want aren’t lost on me. And in my grayscale world, there is no room for you constantly watching and waiting in the wings for me to screw up. It’s not in my nature to screw up and I can’t afford it in my line of work. And frankly, the thought of it pisses me off.
I know you’ve kept tabs on me for the past five years. On my business and the people I associate with. I can’t begin to understand why you do this. As far as I know, what I do in my own life is none of your concern. So maybe you could remember that the next time you send two inconspicuous giants to tail me in an expensive black SUV with heavily tinted windows. I’m not sorry about that. You can forward me the medical bills and I’ll have my accountant take care of them. But next time, I can’t be held accountable for what happens. They are big boys. They can take care of themselves, I’m sure.
What I’m trying to say, Hero, is five years may not be eternity in the grand scheme of things; I’m a different person now. These eyes have seen the world, memorized every little detail and burned it into my memory. You changed me in ways I can’t comprehend, can’t control, and can’t fathom. And I have no desire to more thought into it. As for your favor, your asking price is too high and I can’t go back and be who you want me to be. There is too much history between us to forgive and forget. So give me what I want and do what you’re good at, Hero.
Walk away before this gets ugly.
Your Heroine
My heroine and “hero” are at odds in my RS. (Light on the R- unless you count love affairs of guns, mayhem and violence, then it’s definitely filled with R.) What is your favorite way to get the “hero” and “heroine” at odds with each other? Anyone want to write a passive aggressive note to one of your characters from another?
I had a good time writing mine.
Obviously.
Labels:
2010,
character writing,
Quartermaster's Queries (Sin),
Sin
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147 comments:
Hmmmm...just starting my second volume... but I think I can go there...
Dear Hero,
Yes, we've been lovers for 15 years. Yes, watching Emily and Silvestri exchange vows gave me food for thought. But I still can't say it. You make my blood boil and my body melt, dear Mick.
But I can't tell you my story, my past. I just can't and I won't. It's a burden that is mine alone.
Stop trying to climb the inner walls, Mick. It's the road to disaster, to a shipwreck our paring cannot survive.
Stop watching me, there is future, no past. There is only now. And that is all I can give you.
Captain Jezebel
Wow, you guys are awesome with your letters! I may have to stand to this side of the ship and just watch today. :)
*takes a sip of coffee*
Okay, I'm gonna think for a little bit.
Well, I also had two hours to write mine yesterday. LOL
C'mon DRD... PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSEEEEEE
I love that letter Chanceroo. Capt'n Jezebel sounds interesting (and my type of heroine). You know how I like strong independent females in fiction. Can you give some background?
LOL, Sin. There's no whining on a pirate ship!
*goes back to thinking*
Awesome job, both of you. Sin, I felt like I was reading a script from Burn Notice. And I don't even watch that show. :)
Now that I wrote the HEA, I don't think I can write a litter like this. I could write my own real life letter. Oh, that would get a little too bitter. And personal. And violent, I'm afraid.
Maybe I can think of one for my new story. The black moment, or at least the details of it, aren't clear yet. This could help me figure it out.
I'll think about it. *joins Donna on the side and sips her tea*
I'm well schooled in the art of the whine. Don't tempt me, DRD.
Sometimes its just better to put your fingertips on the keyboard and start typing. Something wild could come of it.
That should be "letter" not "litter". I'm not having any litters anytime soon, of that I'm damn sure.
That's something I wouldn't want... a litter of myself running around destroying the world as we know it.
If I wrote one about my personal life the sarcasm would literally drip from it. Not to mention it would be dirtier and WAY more violent.
Kiki is fairly reserved. Dex just knows how to push her buttons and she's had enough. In my head, as the story progresses, she allows him to blackmail her only because she has plans to get what she wants and fix her life, but Dex has his own plans. So as you can imagine, shit hits the fan and no one wins. That's how life works. At least in my stories.
I've seen a couple of episodes of Burn Notice last year when I was away at a conference. I like it. Just don't have cable to watch it.
Bo'sun, write a letter for the love triangle group. From the hero to the heroine...he's the one torn, after all. Like a secret admirer letter.
Awesome letter, Hellie. I love the strikethru stuff. LOL! And the PS is the perfect touch.
I don't know, so far Joe doesn't seem like the letter writing type. He'd have to put feelings in there and he's a bottle it up kind of guy. Broody even. LOL!
But he's going to piss her off and I think I know why so I'll work on a letter from her. Oh, a letter to the both of them. This could be good.
I do love the PS. I think my favorite (okay one of my favorite parts about your letter) is the strike through "You are an asshole." LMFAO
Though, the "I realize with your limited emotional intelligence" is pretty flippin' good too.
That’s something I wouldn’t want… a litter of myself running around destroying the world as we know it.
*shudders*
None of us do, Sin. LOL
Hellie, loved that letter (especially the subliminal messages -- LOL)
I'm having a hard time coming up with something -- maybe because I'm thinking of the book I just finished revising -- and they're all happy with each other because of the HEA. LOL
*sits on a Hottie's lap to get inspired for another book*
“Sin?”
*blink*
“WTHOooohhhh … Sin!”
I just realized that its Wednesday.
Thanks for reminding me. Because …
Wednesday is “Julie, take the Garbage Out Day.”
Which is Secret Agent code for “Julie, take the Garbage Out toDay.” Being the Tidy Happy Little Housewife* that I am, I am most particular about having any garbage lying around. That being said …
“Has Anyone see my Glock?” **
* Passive
** Aggressive
Sorry -- my keyboard is sticking -- I typed Julie, but the l decided to disappear at the last minute. Aaaugh.
Juie, today is usually trash day here, but it's off one day because of the holiday. Just thought I'd mention it in case it's the same where you are. :)
*sits on another Hottie's lap for more inspiration*
TMI! Donna I don't even want to know why your keyboard is sticky!
That's what she gets for eating marshmallow fluff.
Among other things.
At her keyboard.
I do love the aggressive approach of things. You know, Jules, garbage cans are great for target practice. Even better if the garbage men are there.
Dear DRD,
I do not like your tone when regarding my litter of misfits. Just for that, you will babysit my litter every Tuesday and Thursday. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
And I love that I remind you about the trash. I feel REALLY loved Jules.
*stomping off to my closet*
Watch out. I'm about to start looking for my feather boa and cigarettes. I'm not responsible for flying objects beaming you upside the head if you don't duck fast enough.
Dear Evil Twin,
Thank you for the warning. I am out of town every Tuesday and Thursday through eternity, so will be unable to babysit your demons, er, litter.
Very truly yours,
DRD
It's worth showing up Wednesdays, just to see the Twin Letters in the comments section....
TMI! Donna I don’t even want to know why your keyboard is sticky!
Julie -- you naughty girl! LOL I think the keyboard is STICKING because I type at such blazing speeds, I'm melting the keys. Hah! LOL
Okay, my brain went there with the sticky comment too. You can't drop something like that around here without expecting us to pick it up.
Just got back from buying these ingrates sodas and chocolate. My work is never done. Back to thinking.
LOL. I have no idea how the twin letters even got started. LMFAO
Dear DRD,
I know what you do on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
Dear Evil Twin,
Hah! You only wish you knew what I do on Tuesday and Thursdays (and all the other days of the week ending in "y").
Very truly yours,
DRD
And I love that I remind you about the trash. I feel REALLY loved Jules.
I <3 you! What's wrong with trash? Some of my favorite people are white tra---BASH! Crash!
My Real Scope for today: The Big Picture
Saturn Trine Saturn
Apr 25, 2010 to Jul 4, 2010
The concerns of daily life just aren't important now. You're far more focused on the future -- and that's totally understandable. Just don't forget to do the laundry and take out the garbage while you're at it. The future may be coming, but in the meantime, the present is right here.
Okay, I won't mention the keyboard again -- I just didn't want Julie to think I was mangling her name. LOL
And Sin, I think you're the one who started the Twin letters. LOL Which means you get the credit/blame for them!
What the hell astro sign runs from Apr 25 to Jul 4?!
LOL!
And if the phone next door to my office doesn't stop ringing I'm going over there and using the receiver to bash someone's head in.
I know what started them. It's because I wish I could pass out emails like that all day long to everyone I come into contact. This is what I get for being some sort of district wide contact about insurance payer shit.
And if the phone next door to my office doesn’t stop ringing I’m going over there and using the receiver to bash someone’s head in.
You wear a camera at all times, right? I'd hate to miss out on good stuff like this. LOL
Trust me, the mass chaos I will cause would not be fun to watch.
Well, the office next door to ours has set empty for three years and they recently relocated the instrument shop that was in the corner office to the office beside ours to make room for the expansion on the hair salon two doors down.
Not only do I have to listen to someone's phone ring who never picks the fucking thing up, I have to listen to horrible music lessons. Kids with instruments are cute, but this is pushing my patience level.
Good Lord, Sin. You've just described hell.
If I didn't believe in it before, I do now. You have my permission to unleash your minions (the ones I was supposed to babysit Tuesday/Thursday). :)
And like usual I've gone horribly off topic. I dunno why I'm still allowed to blog. I think it's because Hells sits in her office plotting to take over the world while I distract everyone.
Saturn will Trine Saturn from Apr 25, 2010 to Jul 4, 2010, Terri. So I will be doing laundry & taking out gargage for monthsssssss.
Sin, I thought the topics were more like "guidelines" than rules. LOL
Julie, yikes -- thank goodness we're in June already. That's a lot of trash and laundry!
I do believe it is karma getting me back.
And I'm pretty sure if one more person remarks on how tall I am or how short my pants are today (I'm wearing pedal pushers) I'm going to shove my pencil in their eye.
Hello, my name is Sin and I'm feeling very violent today.
And yes, that is EVERY DAY.
Dear Twins,
Can't you two just get along?
Evil, I'll be happy to watch the hoard. Keep in ming those days coincide with the Kraken's feeing of inner critics. Does the hoard whine a lot? I give no guarantees they won't drop - accidentally - to the Kraken's maw.
Sincerely, Chance
Dear Chance,
The litter never whines. It is not in their DNA. I engineered them to destroy first, ask questions later.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
PS. I don't get along with anyone. Deal with it.
OK, fine, I'll break out the new crate of Shamwows for all those sticky keyboards out there...
Sin - Background? She's from an uber capitalistic steampunk world, trained as a maker from the age of seven... Emotionally, physically and sexually abused. She escaped into the world of Emily's topsy turvy Tortuga when she was 15, taking along several of her more brilliant creations. Thirty years later, she captains a pirate ship, commands a ship of women from other times and places, and keeps watch constantly, for zepellins. Her world has always wanted her back. Well, they want her creations back. Especially the light bending goggles... And Mick tries to love her. He thinks he loves her. He's not sure...
Weeeee!
Dear Chance,
Evil Twin and I have a deep an abiding love for one another. It's like we're two halves of one whole--wait a minute, that's what twins are! Unfortunately Evil is the only one who get to do the eye/pencil/shoving maneuver (I'm still in training).
Please let me know when you are scheduling a Kraken's maw drop. I want to drop everything in order to witness something that spectacular.
Very truly yours,
DRD (aka The Good Twin)
Dear Evil - Will you warn the hoard that the Kraken's reach is extensive and since I'm his regular feeder, he does tend to be quite protective...
At Your Service, Chance
Wow, Chance. That background is twisted.
Dear Chance,
I would warn the litter, but they love a challenge.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
Yeah, this one is gonna be fun!
Hell, they're all fun!
Donna - Maw droppings are basically a per-need sort of thing. You got a inner critic been pestering you, the Kraken is there to eat 'em. I do like schedule the big ones and will let you know in advance... ;)
Jules and DRD, trash as in trash or as in "trash"?
DRD, there are no rules on the ship. Well, no rules that apply to me. hahahahaha
*ducking*
Hells, stop trying to take my head off with your stapler.
I have some "trash" to get rid of. Jules, get the Glock ready.
The concerns of daily life just aren’t important now. You’re far more focused on the future — and that’s totally understandable. Just don’t forget to do the laundry and take out the garbage while you’re at it. The future may be coming, but in the meantime, the present is right here.
As far as I'm concerned, if something big is going to happen in the future, screw taking out the "trash" and doing the laundry. Use the laundry to start the bonfire and put the "trash" in it.
Wow, Chance that Is quite a backstory. No wonder you ended up writing an Epic.
Please let me know when you are scheduling a Kraken’s maw drop. I want to drop everything in order to witness something that spectacular.
It's so heartwarming to see Donna discovering new things to add to her HOA list!
Hee, hee. Thanks, Julie! And that isn't even the epic storyline!
There's a Kraken in this book, too. He's a matchmaker. ;) He'll be helping out Jezzie and Mick to reach the HEA...probably. He's also going to come to the rescue at the end and take a zepellin... BWAH HA HA HA HA!
Donna doesn't fool Me. when she says " I want to drop everything..." What she really means is she wants to Literally drop everything annoying into that Kraken’s maw!
I feel like I should have a pen pal too.
Still thinking. Just ate a hot dog fresh off the grill and have yet to cut the chocolate cake. (Girardeli milk chocolate cake!) I'm a bit distracted. But I WILL write this little note.
Shortly.
Julie - Get one of Sin's minions to take out the garbage for you. Delegate, dear. Delegate.
Chance, soooo many exotic tales in your head. And so many zepellin stories. I'm going to start calling you the writer of The Thousand & One Flights.
You're Right, Terri!
And
I want goggles.
Just sayin'.
Inspiring as always, Sin!
Loved Helli's letter from Eve to Adam.
Gives a whole new meaning to reading between the lines! :lol:
As a variant on your 'pathetic spy' I thought an email to a third party friend might do the trick. She is asked to forward the message to Hero, indicating that as a friend she thought he ought to know.
Darling TP (third party)
Regret to say my hero is no longer keeping me happy. I suggested Viagra but he still thinks he's a fantastic male specimen. I know he spends hours body building at the gym. His rippling muscles ARE attractive. But that counts for nothing if the important member remains minuscule and he has the brain of an amoeba. You gotta help me TP. I want to let him down lightly, the poor dear, but can't think of a way.
Yrs in hope.
Heroine
It’s so heartwarming to see Donna discovering new things to add to her HOA list!
Yeesh, this HOA list is overwhelming! I've had to delegate a lot of it to the Hotties!
Donna doesn’t fool Me. when she says ” I want to drop everything…” What she really means is she wants to Literally drop everything annoying into that Kraken’s maw!
LOL -- actually right now I'm pretty good -- nothing pissing me off. Of course, it's early yet!
I do like schedule the big ones and will let you know in advance…
This is what I wanted to hear! I don't want to fill up my calendar with other stuff and miss out on the Kraken stuff!
I posted tis a while ago but it seems to have disappeared into the digital aether .... proof of the event horizon on the pirate ship!
Inspiring as always, Sin!
Loved Helli's letter from Eve to Adam.
Gives a whole new meaning to reading between the lines! :lol:
As a variant on your 'pathetic spy' I thought an email to a third party friend might do the trick. She is asked to forward the message to Hero, indicating that as a friend she thought he ought to know.
Darling TP (third party)
Regret to say my hero is no longer keeping me happy. I suggested Viagra but he still thinks he's a fantastic male specimen. I know he spends hours body building at the gym. His rippling muscles ARE attractive. But that counts for nothing if the important member remains miniscule and he has the brain of an amoeba. You gotta help me TP. I want to let him down lightly, the poor dear, but can't think of a way.
Yrs in hope.
Heroine
Mmm. Looks like everyone went to lunch. I think I'll just do some rearranging here.
*takes all the stuff out of the quarters next to mine and throws it overboard*
There, that oughta do it. Okay, Hotties, move your stuff in. No, don't worry. I got it all approved ahead of time *wink* Oh, and drag that mini-bar down here. I don't want to have to get up every time my glass needs refilling. :)
Wow, Hellie is really going to be pissed...
You didn't chuck her Captain Jack bobble head too, did you? Man, I hope you have good running shoes. Or rather, you're a good swimmer.
*whispers to Hottie right before pushing him overboard*
No, Bo'sun, the Captain Jack bobblehead is just out getting uh, laundered. Freshened up.
*swim faster!*
Dear Bo'sun,
What do you think we should do about Donna? I think that Good Twin thing is just an act, considering what she did to my Captain Jack Bobblehead, which was so horrific I can't even write it here.
How do you feel about keelhauling?
Regards,
Hellie
Pppffffff!
Its that Saturn Trine Saturn.
Garbage. And laundry!
Dear DRD,
They are planning a revolt against you and your removing of the bobble head known as Capt'n Jack. I know just what to do. Meet me in the mast.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
Dear Hellie,
I apologize for intercepting your letter to Bo'sun, but I felt it necessary to explain that Sin occasionally requires me to take her place as "Evil Twin", so that she might be free to wreak havoc on the world as needed.
Also, your Captain Jack Bobblehead was never in any danger, and I believe he quite enjoyed the chance to escape your quarters. At least, that's how I'm interpreting the smile on his face.
I would strongly advise against keelhauling. It wouldn't be prudent. Not at this juncture.
Very truly yours,
DRD
Dear ET - c u right there. Texting is faster than letter. TTYS
*teehee*
DRD, watch out 4 flying banana peels.
LMAO. That letter cracks me up. DRD, you are awesome.
LOL -- from the Undead Monkey?
No. Ninja stars are from the monkey. I'm trying to clean out a place for you to sit.
Dear Hellie,
I'm all for it.
Bo'sun out.
Dear Captain,
I am shocked. Shocked at Donna’s behavior. I would never throw out your bobble head. Sell it on Ebay? Yes. Throw it out? No. Might I suggest? When my father was a little boy his Mother would make him wear "short pants" to school when he misbehaved. So I‘m thinking … SIN! Take off yor pants. Its for the good of the Ship!
*snicker*
And we wonder why we don't get a lot of new commenters. LOL! HOW would they follow along?!?
I'm gonna need one of those shamwows. The demand for Sin to take off her pants was too much for me.
LMFAO
Did Jules just ask me to take off my pants?
Dear Jules,
Thank you for your inquiry about my pants. I must inform you that I require at least a half attempt at taking me for a little B&E fun before you get my pants.
Sincerely,
Evil Twin
To The Revenge Crew,
As supply officer, I must inform you we are running short of parchment thanks to your new penchant for writing letters to the person sitting RIGHT BESIDE YOU.
Since we did not budget in funds for excessive parchment aquisitions, I must gratiously request that you KNOCK THE SHIT OFF.
Sincerely and with all due respect (which would be none),
Bo'sun
This is my third attempt to post this. If the moderator's axe falls again I'm going to play somewhere else! *humph*
I posted tis a while ago but it seems to have disappeared into the digital aether …. proof of the event horizon on the pirate ship!
Inspiring as always, Sin!
Loved Helli’s letter from Eve to Adam.
Gives a whole new meaning to reading between the lines! :lol:
As a variant on your ‘pathetic spy’ I thought an email to a third party friend might do the trick. She is asked to forward the message to Hero, indicating that as a friend she thought he ought to know.
Darling TP (third party)
Regret to say my hero is no longer keeping me happy. I suggested Viagra but he still thinks he’s a fantastic male specimen. I know he spends hours body building at the gym. His rippling muscles ARE attractive. But that counts for nothing if the important member remains miniscule and he has the brain of an amoeba. You gotta help me TP. I want to let him down lightly, the poor dear, but can’t think of a way.
Yrs in hope.
Heroine
Are those real lederhosen, BTW? You’ll have to let me borrow them sometime. They’ll look quite lovely with my Glock!
LOL
You can wear my spandex biking shorts, SIN. That will give you a little B&E fun.
B&E as in Biking and Erotica!
Yes, well there will be days we beg for new commenters (Please don't be shy, new commenters. You can ask me to take off my pants too. I don't get upset about it. You just have to give me something for doing it.) Today we are just having a little RWR fun. Come join us. I don't bite.
Okay, I do. But you'll like it.
Dear Bo'Sun (AKA: Paper Nazi)
I am writing you in concern of your recent letter to the crew regarding our penchant for writing letters. Didn't you know I'm trying to bring it back? Like MySpace.
Sincerely,
Sin
Paper Nazi?
Eeewwwww! SIN is wear real lederhosen!
*in dire need of a Shamwow*
Jesus, Jules. I had to pour my ass into those things. What did you do, shrink them with the laundry?
As supply officer, I must inform you we are running short of parchment thanks to your new penchant for writing letters to the person sitting RIGHT BESIDE YOU
LOL Maybe we should save the parchment for the new commenters? So they won't be afraid to jump into these snark-infested waters? LOL
wearING
LMFAO, *I* am not the paper nazi.
*closes door to quarters, locking fourteen deadbolts, and then wrapping heavy chains around the doorway*
Whew! Okay, I've got to run a few errands. (Bo'sun, should I stop by the Tortuga Staples and get a ream of parchment while I'm out?) I'll catch up to you pirates later!
I had to pour my ass into those things. What did you do, shrink them with the laundry?
To Whom it may Concern: please note. If I were not the well behaved Lady that I am , I would answer Ms SIN’s query with a remark that contained words such as shrinkage, moist, wet, Alan Alda.
Paper Nazi.
Parchment Pirate.
Dear Bo'sun,
As CAPTAIN of this ship, I'm entitled to as much parchment as I....
Letter incompleted due to lack of parchment.
And might I add, DRD, you are not HELPING your case by FIRST running off with my bobblehead Jack doll and doing God knows what, but then also STATING he was happy to be in your care because *I* was somehow less than worthy to be spending time with.
Watch yourself, or I'm going to make you take off your pants too and stand over by Sin.
*salutes Hellie with a trembling hand*
Aye, aye, Captain!
*wraps 14 chains around my waist to keep my pants on*
Shh, Bobblehead -- if I repeat that, I'm going to get in even MORE trouble!
Why am *I* always the one who gets an example made of? I didn't do anything. I didn't even nibble on our guests. *looks around*
Oh. Well. I guess I did and forgot.
*doing the potty dance in the corner, sans pants.*
Dear Donna,
You might consider using something other than chains to keep the pants up. For one thing, they weigh a lot and should you *accidentally* trip and fall overboard, those chains will sink you faster than Bobble-headed Jack.
You can pay me later for getting the Kraken to retrieve him.
Sorry about the slime.
Love and kisses, Chance.
Dear Bo'sun,
I use my own recycled paper.
BTW, sent off signed contract today. Am I officially agented now? Or when she gets it? ;)
Chance
OMG!! NOW!!
Whoohooo!!
*doing contract dance sans pants*
MM!! Holy crapazilla!
;)
Specifically, an e-agent. Something new on the horizon but I'm pretty excited, too! She's with the Lori Perkins Literary Agency...one of my magical shoe pitches at RT...
Bar is open, pants or not!
I did manage to retrieve the stash Donna tried to squirrel away...so we be fully stocked and ready to rock and roll!
Drinks all around. A toast to Chance and her magically lucky shoes!!!
Here's to the coolest hippy-chick and her romantic adventures! Let the games begin!!!!
Yay! I'm so excited for you Chanceroo! It's been a long time coming!
Oooh I’m so Very Excited for you too Chanceroo! Congratulations!
Julie - I may steal that motto. Writer of a Thousand and One ... Voyages... Since I tend toward more sailing than flying... ;)
Hey Chance, I said 'flights" cuz I was doing a take on Zepplins and the book A Thousand and One Nights.
Writer of a Thousand and One … Voyages sounds like you, Chance. Take it fit pleases you. Think of it as my Bon Voyage present to you as you set of on your voyage to getting published.
Make that
Take it if it pleases you.
Well, it fits, too!
Anyone else write a character letter? Isn't that where this blog started? LOL!
I'm going to have to write the letter at home. Gotta get this mail together so I can get out of here!
LOL, I'm pretty sure that's where the blog started but on my days you can never tell where the blog starts and where it ends. LOL
Poor Q! He posted eons ago and was awaiting moderation! (I wonder why it didn't tell me...unless...Sin? Were you given a moderation notice? If so, then I can tell Q it wasn't me.)
Nope, and I'm not signed in so I have no idea. Or maybe I got notice and I didn't notice it (which is quite the case and I do apologize Q).
Poor Q! Geez, can't we get the gods of wordpress to just give him a pass?
"You gotta help me TP."
My red slushy came out of my nose. Oh Q. You crack me up.
Well, usually Q doesn't NEED to be moderated. *LOL* So I wonder if he used a different email address. If we didn't recognize him in disguise....
Q is spying on us. I must spy back. First I have to find my pants.
Quit with the pants shit! I can't take anything else flying out my nose.
This absolutely sums it all up.
But that counts for nothing if the important member remains minuscule and he has the brain of an amoeba.
THAT is what I've been trying to say for eons and couldn't find the right words. Thank you, Q!
Now, to work on this letter.
Aren't those panst flying from the mainmast? ;)
Chance! Woo hoo! Congrats! I can't wait to e-read these. :)
Oh, and thanks for the hint about the pant chains. I wasn't thinking clearly! LOL
Since there were so many letters today -- which were SANCTIONED because of Sin's post. . .I bought a case of parchment, so we oughta be good for a couple days! LOL
My letter. This would be for my next WIP which is barely plotted. This exercise seriously helped so thanks!
Joe & Lucas,
By the time you read this, I’ll be half way back to Richmond. I would say don’t come after me, but since that’s highly unlikely anyway, I won’t bother. It is not up to the two of you to decide who “gets me”. I am not a toy you fight over and then pass off when I no longer appeal.
Lucas – I do not want what you want and I never have. It is not your fault that I’ve not told you sooner, however, if you ever took the time to really get to know me, you would have caught on long ago. Joe knew within a week. Joe saw me when you only looked right through me.
Joe – I didn’t make this trip knowing I was going to fall for someone new. I didn’t even realize I was falling until it was too late. But until you can see I’m not the girl from you past, we can have no future. I’d rather be alone than spend my life trying to amend for someone else’s sins. I might have stayed, if you’d asked. I guess now we’ll never know.
I never meant to hurt either of you. Please give your parents my regrets and thank them for my their generosity, laughter, and acceptance. If only the two of you were more like your parents, maybe things would be different.
Sincerely,
Juliana
Wait -- Terri, she doesn't end up with either one of them? Sniff. There better be something even more spectacular behind Door #3.
What do ya think? One a' them must chase her. Or both and make it really interesting!
Like I said, it's still being plotted! LOL! But I promise, it DOES have a HEA. :)
Which one would you want to be the hero?
I'm leaning towards Joe, because Lucas didn't seem to know her, or try to know here.
Although I really like the name Lucas. LOL
I'm trying to write a letter, but it seems the only ones I can write are to The Evil Twin. :)
Donna - You win the prize. Joe is the hero. :)
What is your next WIP? I couldn't write one after I'd already written the HEA. You need one you haven't resolved yet. What's lined up down the pipe we can pick from?
Yay! What's the prize? :)
I've got a couple things in mind for the next WIP. I hadn't thought about working on something that hasn't been resolved yet. Mmm. Maybe I should work on the pirate one. . .
But of course! *spoken in best Lumiere voice*
Well, I believe in pirate ones. Even when I toss in an alien...
*note to self, rewrite alien to alude to pirates...
*clapping* I love Joe! Poor idiot, short bus Joe who doesn't realize a great thing when he has it... SIGN. ME. UP.
Bo'sun, you better be writing this soon.
Which reminds me I need to mail you something. And with my history of mailing shit, you'll get it in 6-8 months.
Hellion, I'm confused -- you like Joe? Or you don't? LOL I read it both ways.
Chance, thanks for the blog comment -- it was much appreciated!
Bo'sun, I love your Lumiere voice. I'm stealing it now--thank you. :)
Zut Alor!
Had to get that out.
So glad you like Joe, Hellie. He's totally up our alley. Stubborn and pig-headed with a dash of brooding. His saving grace is that he has a really cool dog. And the big boat and the motorcycle are kind of cool too. :)
Give me a man in workboots any day.
Donna? You writing me another check?
"I'm gonna be rich! I'm gonna be rich!"
LOL!
A real cool dog!? Go, Joe!
Chance - He's pretty much my old dog. Every dog I write is Dozer. LOL! I used him in a short story I wrote last year and still haven't done anything with. Very short, like 1000 words or a little more. I love that story, I should dig that out.
Donna, I can see where that was confusing. Just because I think Joe is currently driving the short bus, doesn't mean I don't adore him. Stubborn, pig-headed men are my favorite men to read. It's so much fun to watch them crumple and fall into the clutches of love.
*sighs* He's got a dog? He's so dreamy. Ooooh, he's Josh Lucas! This is Sweet Home Alabama!!!!
Well, Joe and Lucas are brothers, so not exactly Sweet Home Alabama. But similar!
Joe is maybe 6', short dark hair, constant 5 o'clock shadow, lots of jeans and boots. Crinkle around the eyes from spending his life on the water. Beer drinker.
Lucas looks like him only sleeker and cleaning. He's a lawyer, real fancy pants. Wine drinker.
Ick. Wine drinkers.
Beer drinkers--now those guys I adore. You and your crinkle-eyed men.
son = sun.
*sigh*
Both my guys work in the son. When I get to Andrew's story, he won't have crinkled eyes. He's a cop, not so much in the sun. :)
*giggle
I like sunbaked faces...well, not too baked. But enough to see some signs of it. And crinkles around the eyes...sigh.
I loathe not having internet at home. I feel like Hellie living in the Amish times.
*le sigh*
I vote for a new guy. Joe sounds like someone who needs a good punch in the eye socket and well, the lawyer... lawyers can't be trusted. Like theives and murderers. Especially if he's a pinky-up wine drinker.
But I'm with Chanceroo. I think everyone should come a-courtin'.
I'm sorry, you gals must have me confuzzled with Dee. LOL! There will be NO THREESOMES in the making of this book. *gives evil eye*
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