Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Amuse Your Muse
Hi and Ahoy and all that jazz, it's your favorite and only pirate ninja aboard the RWR, Sin. Today is a very special day aboard the RWR as we're welcoming on our newest captive- um, I mean crew member- the DRD (as I like to call her), Dead Reckoning Donna! We picked up DRD from her own ship and put her up in her very own spacious dungeon- um, I mean cabin- so that she can help us help you in your quest for all things writing and reading. The very ambitious DRD will be alternating with me every Wednesday. Just think, you only have to put up with two blogs a month of my rambling nonsense. See, some good really does come to bad pirates and wenches. *grin*
With no further ado, please make some ruckus for the DRD and make her feel welcome in her new prison- um, I mean home.
Welcome to the inaugural sailing of DRD Cruise Lines! I'm Dead Reckoning Donna, and I want to warn you, the waters can get a little choppy as we leave port (especially if you try to nickname me "Dead"). So sit back, get comfortable, and hoist your tankard of rum. I'm going to spin you a fantastical tale while we share this three-hour tour.
Each of us has our own source of writing inspiration, something that helps us create and mold our stories, an elusive creature we worship with cult-like devotion.
No, I'm not talking about the Kraken. I am talking about a muse. Or in my case, Muse, capitalized because it's her title, her calling, her raison d'etre, the reason she can be such a pain in the--
My Muse is Endora. (For the young pirates aboard, she's the temperamental mother in the TV show Bewitched. For the rest of you, thank you for your sympathy.)
Endora is the perfect storm of haughtiness, disdain, and tough love. During her unpredictable visits, I count myself lucky when she remembers to call me Donna instead of Durwood. If there is anyone who is more confident of their contrary opinions, I haven't met them yet. She'll bark out a laugh when I startle her with something funny (especially if I didn't MEAN for it to be funny). She'll wrinkle her nose and sniff as if the litter box is overflowing when I've offended her storytelling sensibilities.
She's also incredibly surprised when I create something that amuses her. I live for those rare moments when her heavily penciled eyebrows shoot up with astonished admiration. She's miserly with her praise, as if each encouraging word causes a sharp pain in her soul, but I make her give until it hurts.
She's a witch with a capital B, but I'm driven to please her. And she knows it.
Endora loves her job, but she's also flighty, and fickle, and rather capricious about when she will actually do it. She is incapable of keeping to a regular schedule, so I've quit suggesting it. If I accidentally bore her, there's a snap of fingers and a puff of smoke, and I'm instantly alone, staring at a blinking cursor on the computer screen, wondering how to lure the insufferable wench back.
What I usually do is tap away at the keyboard, resigning myself to the fact that I'm going to have to do this writing thing on my own for a little while. Somehow the mundane task of typing entices Endora. Maybe she's planning to thump me on the head for waking her from her beauty nap. Or maybe she's come to warn me of the hex with my name on it if I don't stop trying to write solo.
I'm never sure WHY this technique brings her back. I doubt she knows either. But it does. The next thing I know, she's looking over my shoulder, snorting with derision, and then I hear a muttered, "I suppose that part's not too horrid." It's hard to tell which of us is the most surprised by her grudging approval.
The tricky part is figuring out WHAT makes Endora happy, because, as with any diva, it's never the same thing twice. If she adores chocolate one day, and the words flow after I've presented her with the most exquisite confections ever made. . .the next time she'll take one bite of the same stuff and spit it out as if I'd given her a clod of dirt. If I take a nap to deal with the heartbreak of her desertion, she plops down next to me, whispering tantalizing plot points in my ear until I am wide awake, frantic to give her my undivided attention again.
Yet, as contrary as the old gal is, I can't imagine what my writing life would be like without her. There's some sort of magic in this partnership of ours, and I've quit trying to figure out the dysfunctional workings of it. Ultimately she seems proud of my efforts, and I like to believe she wouldn't hang around if she didn't get something out of the experience. (I don't want to even contemplate how many other unfortunate writers she torments on her daily rounds. We could probably have an annual convention.)
Mmm, looks like we're returning to port already. *taps watch* Did we finish early? It sure didn't seem like we used the whole three hours. . .
Well, anyway, I want to thank everyone for choosing DRD Cruise Lines today, and I'm really looking forward to future trips with you. I know you're reluctant to leave, but we'll be docking soon, so if you'd like to line up over here--
*ship lists severely to one side*
Careful! Don't everyone try to de-boat at once! You'll tip this thing over!
So, do you have a muse? What is he/she like? How do you keep your muse happy? How does she reward you for your efforts?
With no further ado, please make some ruckus for the DRD and make her feel welcome in her new prison- um, I mean home.
***
Welcome to the inaugural sailing of DRD Cruise Lines! I'm Dead Reckoning Donna, and I want to warn you, the waters can get a little choppy as we leave port (especially if you try to nickname me "Dead"). So sit back, get comfortable, and hoist your tankard of rum. I'm going to spin you a fantastical tale while we share this three-hour tour.
Each of us has our own source of writing inspiration, something that helps us create and mold our stories, an elusive creature we worship with cult-like devotion.
No, I'm not talking about the Kraken. I am talking about a muse. Or in my case, Muse, capitalized because it's her title, her calling, her raison d'etre, the reason she can be such a pain in the--
My Muse is Endora. (For the young pirates aboard, she's the temperamental mother in the TV show Bewitched. For the rest of you, thank you for your sympathy.)
Endora is the perfect storm of haughtiness, disdain, and tough love. During her unpredictable visits, I count myself lucky when she remembers to call me Donna instead of Durwood. If there is anyone who is more confident of their contrary opinions, I haven't met them yet. She'll bark out a laugh when I startle her with something funny (especially if I didn't MEAN for it to be funny). She'll wrinkle her nose and sniff as if the litter box is overflowing when I've offended her storytelling sensibilities.She's also incredibly surprised when I create something that amuses her. I live for those rare moments when her heavily penciled eyebrows shoot up with astonished admiration. She's miserly with her praise, as if each encouraging word causes a sharp pain in her soul, but I make her give until it hurts.
She's a witch with a capital B, but I'm driven to please her. And she knows it.
Endora loves her job, but she's also flighty, and fickle, and rather capricious about when she will actually do it. She is incapable of keeping to a regular schedule, so I've quit suggesting it. If I accidentally bore her, there's a snap of fingers and a puff of smoke, and I'm instantly alone, staring at a blinking cursor on the computer screen, wondering how to lure the insufferable wench back.
What I usually do is tap away at the keyboard, resigning myself to the fact that I'm going to have to do this writing thing on my own for a little while. Somehow the mundane task of typing entices Endora. Maybe she's planning to thump me on the head for waking her from her beauty nap. Or maybe she's come to warn me of the hex with my name on it if I don't stop trying to write solo.
I'm never sure WHY this technique brings her back. I doubt she knows either. But it does. The next thing I know, she's looking over my shoulder, snorting with derision, and then I hear a muttered, "I suppose that part's not too horrid." It's hard to tell which of us is the most surprised by her grudging approval.
The tricky part is figuring out WHAT makes Endora happy, because, as with any diva, it's never the same thing twice. If she adores chocolate one day, and the words flow after I've presented her with the most exquisite confections ever made. . .the next time she'll take one bite of the same stuff and spit it out as if I'd given her a clod of dirt. If I take a nap to deal with the heartbreak of her desertion, she plops down next to me, whispering tantalizing plot points in my ear until I am wide awake, frantic to give her my undivided attention again.
Yet, as contrary as the old gal is, I can't imagine what my writing life would be like without her. There's some sort of magic in this partnership of ours, and I've quit trying to figure out the dysfunctional workings of it. Ultimately she seems proud of my efforts, and I like to believe she wouldn't hang around if she didn't get something out of the experience. (I don't want to even contemplate how many other unfortunate writers she torments on her daily rounds. We could probably have an annual convention.)
Mmm, looks like we're returning to port already. *taps watch* Did we finish early? It sure didn't seem like we used the whole three hours. . .
Well, anyway, I want to thank everyone for choosing DRD Cruise Lines today, and I'm really looking forward to future trips with you. I know you're reluctant to leave, but we'll be docking soon, so if you'd like to line up over here--
*ship lists severely to one side*
Careful! Don't everyone try to de-boat at once! You'll tip this thing over!
So, do you have a muse? What is he/she like? How do you keep your muse happy? How does she reward you for your efforts?
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105 comments:
And welcome aboard! Nice a' Sin not to make you swim aboard!
I still remember that, Sinister!
Well, depends on what I'm writing! Me muse changes, generally though...he's a pirate, on occassion he rides a Kraken.
Who, I do not worship.
Usually.
The Kraken worships me, because I have so many critics and I throw them all to him! So, what makes the Kraken happy? Tossing 'im me critics!
What makes the pirate happy? Feeding the Kraken!
Welcome to the crew! It just hit me we could have called you Teflon Donna and had a mobster pirate in our ranks! Man, that would have been fun.
So, I've been the dissenting voice on muses for a while. I don't really have one. But I do have two writer personalities, one serious, one funny. I've embraced the funny and serious is taking it better than I expected. She's content to wait her turn, and then make everyone cry.
I grew up watching Bewitched and Endora was the coolest character. But I can see where she'd be a tough muse to work with. LOL!
I'll meditate on this more today to see if maybe there is a muse hanging around here somewhere. There are definitely voices in my head and last night I felt "muse-y" so it's possible.
Thank you for the welcome! I've been so excited to join all of you.
Chance, I've got to hear the story about you swimming aboard! (Glad I didn't hear about that ahead of time. LOL) And of course the Kraken worships you, if you keep him well-fed like that!
Bo'sun, I can't believe we missed a mobster pirate opportunity! LOL I think muses and writer personalities are kind of the same thing. And some days, it feels like they're playing "Good Muse, Bad Muse". LOL
Okay, Endora is insisting on some coffee. I better keep her happy for a little while. *whispers* She thinks she's the star of the show today!
Damn muses and their demands!
Welcome aboard DRD.
*whispering to Chanceroo* Don't worry. I have something else planned to haze her in.
I have a muse, Ms. Scarlett Coco, and she is the most temperamental biznach in the whole muse community. She likes cabana boys and drinking on the beach and partying way too late and causing chaos. Right now she's getting her hair braided by some pixies and shooting Irish Car Bombs. I tried to tell her that St. Patty's day was last week and she was passed out for it, but she thinks I'm lying so she's making up for it today.
I try to keep my muse under control with music. That's usually how I calm her little punk ass down and write. Or catch her off guard and knock her out with a good whack of a skillet. If she's in a good mood, she'll let me sit and write for 6 hours without interruption and allow me to crack out serious wordage. It doesn't happen that often and I'm starting to wonder if it used to be a fluke.
Eeek! Hazing? And I thought Endora was scary! LOL
Ms. Scarlet Coco sounds like somebody I'd like to hang out with! For drinks. LOL She sounds fun!
I may have to borrow your skillet one of these days. It sounds like a great um, "motivational tool". LOL
The cast iron works for all things ornery. Muses, men, crew members...
hehehe
Don't worry, I'm harmless. Really.
*backs away from Sin while she's in her batter's stance*
Obviously I need to use mine for something other than grilled cheese sandwiches. LOL
Galley 'Ho finds out you have pan, she's going to kick your ass.
*running off* Don't you tattle on me!
I loved Endora on Bewitched. I always wished Samantha showed as much spine. I mean, for real, Samantha is this all powerful witch and she's at home cleaning and worrying about souffles or whatever.... Dude, if I had that kind of power, DH would be at home with the kid and tending the house. I'd be out making the bucks. Like Darren could compete with her earning potential.... *snorts*
Anywho....
I do have a muse. She's in HS, bores easily, and barely steps away from her Ipod long enough to give me the time of day. I go to her, beg her to read what I've written and she always shrugs, rolls her eyes, and says, "So BOooorringg.... God, you'll never publish with crap like that coming out of you." And I slink away, dejected. Why I'm at the mercy of this frivolous, impossible to please tyrant, I'm not sure. She picks at her nailpolish, sighs a lot. Rarely smiles. Even when I do something right, her praise is grudging. "Great job finaling in that contest. But I'm sure there just weren't a lot of entries." Patronizing smirk. "But good job."
Thanks you little b*tch.
:(
I've been throwing her a whole lot of, "you're not the boss of me" these past couple months. And threatening her with babysitting. She's remained pretty quiet.
Marn - threatening her with babysitting! LOL!
Welcome Donna! So glad to have you officially aboard. I loved Bewitched, though I'll admit that Endora terrified me *g* I'm not sure I'd like her for a muse!
I'm not sure if I have a specific muse, but I'm in the minority with Ter on this one. There are definitely times when the words flow and make sense, and there are times that they definitely don't! I need to figure out who my muse is so I can blame that bitch :)
Hey, either she does it or I do. :) LOL!
Marn, I always wondered that about Samantha too. I guess she wanted to be "normal", but still. LOL Of course, with Endora for a mother, I guess witchcraft got a bad name! LOL
And I LOVE your muse! Sounds like a relative of Endora's, or some secret offspring she won't acknowledge. LOL Especially that patronizing way with the compliments!
LOL! I blame teaching HS for all those years before my son was born. Talk about a tough crowd. :)
Hal, thanks for the welcome! I'm really glad to be here.
And Endora kind of terrifies me too. LOL She actually started out as my "inner critic", but I convinced her if she could tone it down a little -- get a "caustic-ectomy" -- I would promote her to "Muse". That way I'd get some niceness out of her ONCE in a while!
p.s. Donna - I haven't seen any official announcements from your excitement last week. Did you end up deciding who to go with?
Hal, I haven't made an official announcement yet, because I'm kind of superstitious about talking about good news. LOL (Thanks, Endora. Always on the job!)
I have made a decision, and once I sign the agreement -- you'll hear me screaming the news! LOL I'm really excited about working with her. She suggested some minor edits, which I've been working on. . .while trying not to freak out!
*LOL* Sorry I'm late. I'm battling PMS, faculty, and the mystery of folders. (I hate folders. I loathe them. I abhor and abominate them.)
Endora is a perfect example of a Muse. *LOL* (Though I tend to remember the remake Endora from the Will Ferrell movie than the classic version.) Flouncing in whenever she wants. Making scoffing remarks at things you think are witty. Looking horribly surprised when you are witty. *LOL*
My Muse is more like the bumbling Uncle Arthur, or a snooty version of Maurice. Speaking in Shakespeare, insults about my intelligence and writing skills.
Donna - Squeee about upcoming exciting news!!
woo hoo Donna! Can't wait to hear it when you're ready!
Hellie, sorry for the hellacious day you're having. We could ask Endora to put a nice juicy hex on the folders if you want. :)
I haven't seen the Will Ferrell version of Bewitched, although I have seen the previews. I might have to see that Endora. And I love your Muse. LOL It sounds like his insults are at least informative as well as academic!
Thanks, ladies. I'm very excited. And the great part is it seemed to get rolling once I got my invite to join all of you pirates! Talk about serendipitous!
Okay, the idea of Marn's muse babysitting is cracking me up. LOL!
I say we throw the folders to the Kraken! And the professors along too. For dessert.
Slightly off topic: Sin - Just found this and thought of you. You must buy one.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/hoodies/8cc3/
Congrats, Donna!!!
Hellie - This one's for you.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/frustrations/6b6e/
Sorry, hijacking over.
I love the meh hoodie.
Endora was fun...I kinda had a thing for Dr. Bombay... He'd be more my kinda muse...
(Wasn't he called Dr. Bombay or I am thinking of Jeannie?)
No coffee yet.
Deadeye, ya looks at me first blog...The Writer's Code and ya can see how Sin bamboozled me.
The "meh" hoodie is the official Muse hoodie. LOL
One of the newbies sent me this link...
http://omg.yahoo.com/videos/fake-breasts-banned-for-pirates-sequel/10299
That rules out half of Hollywood, doesn't it?
And if you don't know what "meh." means, perhaps your life just doesn't properly suck.
I would totally buy the Meh hoodie if it had this ad copy writen on the back.
There is a level of suck that is proper?
Terri don't apologize. Those were Great. I see Dumb People! LOL
If we have to answer that, I feel bad for Mr. Chance.
*snicker
Hey, Mr. Chance falls ta sleep before any suckage, on either party, can commence. Work is being extra sucky...
OMG! LMAO!!!
OohMyChance ... umm ... have no comment. Though I am of the opinion that when Work is being extra sucky…. that is the time when you really need extra sucktion.
He had tomorrow off, Julie. All is not lost!
Chance, did you call me "Deadeye"? LOL
Oops.
That's what happens when ya start the day with three A'Moral Compass cocktails.
Dead Reckoning...me apologies...
I don't know, I kind of like Deadeye. LOL!
And it took until the noon hour to cross into TMI land. Pretty good for us.
LOL -- Chance, Deadeye is better than Stinkeye! And maybe the problem was ya shoulda had FOUR of the drinks, not a measly THREE. :)
And Bo'sun, I thought we did pretty good too! LOL But that's when the good stuff comes out!
Julie, I love that ad copy too. And HOW do I get to have italics in my posts? I can't seem to accomplish it!
LMAO the Meh one cracks me up.
"If you don't know what Meh means, then you're life doesn't properly suck."
No fake breasts in the POTC movie? Well good luck getting actress who are willing to prove That theirs are truly real. Sounds like an excuse to get away with some groping. Or is the director going to have all the woman have mammograms? I for one wound Not stick any body parts under question into a machine unless the Director can prove to me that he has right to make such a ballsy decision. A Real Ballsy call like that requires proof that he has the right to make such a ballsy decision . If I were those actresses I would tell that director “Heyyy I'll do the Mammography buddy, If you stick your testacies in the death-grip-machine first. “
Would not "wound " though wound is what it feels like when there done smooshing you. :(
THEIR not there, jeez! Or should I say ... Meh?
Donna, try the following before and after what you want in italics, but take out the spaces.
< i > stuff in italics < / i >
Meh, as in their doesn't properly suck in the proper sense?
And I'm with Jules, if the hoodie included the Meh definition, I'd own that hoodie.
Endora has a hoodie like that. :)
ah ha! I have persevered!! Or rather...
I have persevered!!
Lemme try this italics thing.
stuff in italics
I want the hoodie. (If I got the shirt that's for me, I'd wear it to work and get in trouble. I'm surprised I get way with the "This is my clone. I am actually somewhere else having a much better time.")
I'd also like the "Sarcasm is just another service we offer here" but that's implied.
Oh Marnee that tooo funny. Now try replacing the "i" with a "b" to see how you can really persevere!!
Meh, as in their doesn’t properly suck in the proper sense?
Hey SIN are you trying to confuse me with your Grammar-ical Grumblings? Or are you trying to say that ... I have no sense ... aren't proper ... or I doesn’t know nothin' about properly sucking in the proper sense?
You people are sucking the life out of this ship.
LOL!
WTG, Marn! And Julie is right, it works with the "b" too.
Hellie - Didn't I buy you one that says something like, "I'm not listening to you"?
Yes, but now it has a damned BLEEPing dogpawprint on it that didn't come out in the wash and I accidentally dried it...so it's not a work item anymore. But it was very popular at work. And true.
By the way, I *HATED* that dog. It was the twittiest, dumbest, most obnoxious dog. And it's name totally fit it: Tammy. She even had Tammy hair. I was so glad someone adopted that creature and Holly doesn't watch it anymore.
This does not mean I hate all dogs.
Pixy Sita has four dogs, and 3 of the four are quite adorable. Lizzy needs some work, but we keep to our corners of the room and it's fine. Midnight is a darling though.
*stumbles in, stretching and yawning*
Wow. The hammocks here are great! I can hear everything you guys are sayin', and I can study the back of my eyelids. . .listen to the waves. . .watch the cabin boys. Ahhh. I'm liking it here. :)
OMG! Who painted the eyeballs on Dead Reckoning's eyelids while she was napping!? Sin!?
What do ya mean, won't wash off?
hehehe... the ninja strikes again!
Aaaugh! I knew you guys would do something!
*rubs eyelids*
Aaaugh!
Oh-D0nna-welcome-welcome-welcome-aboard the Romance Writers revenge!
What a Great blog topic to have on your first trip out into deep waters. Muses. I love that Endora is your muse. And I think that she fits your writing style perfectly. Congratulations BTW upon your Not Quite Ready To Announce Great News.
Now about that Muse thing. Personally? I was pretty sure that I was Un-mused. But then I started to think about it after I read your blog. I don’t consider myself a writer … I just kind of … oooh … I like to keep my communication skills honed. I write when I feel compelled. Or moved. Or I want someone to spit out their mountain dew. So I have never thought about the possibility of my having a muse, but your blog did make me wonder. If.
If I was a writer, then who would my muse be?
My rational mind would lead me to assume that if my main goal in writing was communication then my muse should be … Cool hand Luke. Because that line "What we've got here is...failure to communicate." really resonates with me. So does a young Paul Newman … but that’s another story. For me it’s all about that line which is first delivered in the film, is a young prisoner, Luke, refusing to sacrifice his dignity under the instruction of the brutal prison captain. Having just been captured and returned to the chain gang after a clever and daring but all too brief escape. Hey I refuse to sacrifice my dignity. I’m clever and daring. Brutal prison captain? I went to parochial schools. And the chain gang ain’t got nothing on the cruelties of having to do housework … everyday … foreverrrrrrr! So I sat around opening myself up to the possibility that I Might have a muse. Thinking … expecting … that Luke was going to show up for some Muse-ing. But instead… OMG.
Is it against the law to kill off a muse?
Julie, great post! Sorry for the eyeball incident, just as you were talking about your muse. :)
Anyway, I think you're going to have to consider yourself a writer. :) Because you like to do ALL the things that writers like to do: make people feel something, or make them spit out beverages. You feel compelled to communicate.
I love your choice of Muse. A young Paul Newman. Sigh.
And there's no law about killing off a Muse that I know of! LOL But they are fickle creatures. The best way to get their attention is to ignore them!
Or throw them to the Kraken. Well, uh... Dead Reckoning. If you drink enough, you can forget about the extra eyeballs.
In honor of Donna... The "Eye Reckon" tankard a' rum!
Anyway, I think you’re going to have to consider yourself a writer.
Donna's def had to much sun! She's a bit looney! That or Paul's pretty blue eyes are making her act a bit peculiar.
Oh, and I think her name is Vanessa.
Okay, I've been thinking about this all day and I might have figured it out. The muse is definitely a woman. Have any of you seen that show The Secret Lives of Women? It's all about women who you'd never look twice at walking down the street, but who have interesting, alternative lifestyles.
That's my muse.
She's very prim and proper...on the outside. The epitome of vanilla. But then, behind closed doors, she has a dark side. Very sarcastic, of course. Impossible to control.
She's rip your heart out as soon as make you tea. But when she decides to break out of the box and share some story ideas, her help is priceless.
Ohh, it will come off. Eventually.
*looking at the box*
Um, it says in 4-6 weeks. But I think it might be closer to 12.
Warning - MAJOR TANGEANT ABOUT TO HAPPEN
You all heard about this?
Katherine [Heigl] is also prepping for the role of Stephanie Plum, the protagonist in a series of novels from Janet Evanovich, which she will bring to life on the big screen. And earlier this month, she revealed her first step in her Stephanie transformation by changing her blonde locks to a deep, dark brown.
*sniffs back tears*
All this AND a tankard of rum named for me! I'm going be a bit emo now.
Bo'sun, I like the sound of Vanessa! I haven't seen the show you're talking about, but the premise is very intriguing. And I think it's a job requirement for a muse to prefer ripping your heart out. :) That's why it's so sweet when they DO decide to help you out.
I knew a Vanessa once. Sounds like you've met her.
Julie, I'm gonna convince you yet!
And I think I'm starting to adjust to these eyelid eyeballs. I can doze off and no one will even know! They'll think I'm paying attention when I'm actually closing my eyes to plot my book!
Katherine Heigl? Really? Don't see that. At all.
Ter, I knew about it a little over a month ago. I refuse to talk about it. I'm bitter. Like I told someone else, I will see how see does in the movie "Killers" and go from there.
Forget about Heigl, who the fuck is going to play Ranger?????
And I can see Heigl in the role. She's a bit bigger than I'd picture Steph. But then I've only read the first book. At least I'll know the movie before I go.
And you can so tell fake boobs from real boobs. Real boobs bounce.
Someone took a guess and said Mario Lopez for Ranger. I figure someone who doesn't look a thing like the Ranger in my mind and I'll have to boycott going to the movie.
And flop to the side when you lay down.
He's not big enough or old enough. Though he is adorable, adorable is not a word I associate with Ranger. And Badass is not a word I associate with Mario.
OMG, if they make Mario Ranger, I am so boycotting the movies forever. What a JOKE! Mario isn't cool! And he's nowhere hot enough!
Dwayne Johnson would be a good choice. Hot. Badass. Good sense of comic timing. Totally spider-monkey worthy.
Chance said "And you can so tell fake boobs from real boobs. Real boobs bounce."
Chance Maybe most women can tell... but men? The last time my DH took me to a movie I dressed up a little bit.
Guys: this is woman talk for I wore something soft and clingy with just a bit of cleavage showing.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the movie. When the movie ended I stood up,turned around & bent down slightly to pick up my purse & coat. All of a sudden I hear some guy a few rows up mutter...
"Those aren't real!"
OMG Buddy the only thing that isn't real IS Your Manners. Or YOUR Brain
I suppose that's better than him stick his head between them and motorboating, Jules.
A Note, to Whom It May Concern: if you feel an Uncontrollable Need to comment upon a ladies breasts please say it to her face. That way she doesn’t have to climb over movie seats to slug you.
Gawd!
Julie, I’m gonna convince you yet!
Donna frightens me. You know ... my Mom's name is Donna! My mom like to convince to me toooo#%$&^! OMG Mom! Is that you!?
LOL, Julie. You're safe! I don't have any kids! LOL
I’m still shaking my head over the director of POTC only casting women who haven’t had augmentation. People are so thinnnn in Hollywood. And very thin people usually don’t have a lot bosom. Instead of stunt doubles they’re going to need stunt double Ds.
I don’t have any kids!
THAT's exactly what my mother says! LOL
You're too funny, Julie!
Pretty quiet in here. Must be Happy Hour somewhere. LOL
I think Endora and I might cruise the local watering holes, see what other Muses we can find!
Stay away from the Kraken. He might mistake Endora as someone ready for courting... He gets a bit frisky sometimes. He so enjoyed with Nessie visited...
It got pretty messy in the water...
that's when Nessie visited...
That sounds like a pretty good cage match: The Kraken vs. Endora. Mmmm. LOL
Done with mom stuff. So where was I with my Muse musings? Ahh yes… Donna, after I read your blog this morning I sat around opening myself up to the possibility that I Might have a muse. Thinking … expecting … that Cool Hand Luke was going to show up for some Muse-ing. But instead… OMG. The “person” who showed up was not who I thought would show up … The following are some of his “musings” with out looking up the quotes try to figure out who my muse is.
Don't get the impression that you arouse my anger. You see, one can only be angry with those he respects. What he said!
If an individual wants to be a leader and isn't controversial, that means he never stood for anything. Well I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as controversial. Quirky? Maybe…
If you take no risks, you will suffer no defeats. But if you take no risks, you win no victories. Suffering De-feets? Does this mean that you want me to try out for Dancing With the Stars?
Let us begin by committing ourselves to the truth to see it like it is, and tell it like it is, to find the truth, to speak the truth, and to live the truth. At the end of the day the truth is all I have.
Life isn't meant to be easy. It's hard to take being on the top - or on the bottom. I guess I'm something of a fatalist. You have to have a sense of history, I think, to survive some of these things... Life is one crisis after another. One crisis after another? Obviously You’ve read my Murphy’s Law post.
My strong point, if I have a strong point, is performance. I always do more than I say. I always produce more than I promise. Me too!
Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. Amen brother! Aye meh-oh-my-gawd! I'm channeling ...Who?!
Not!
If you said MAHATMA GANDHI you're close.
Oh you mean you finally decided to talk about Nixon?
Oooh go ahead and laugh at my pain you Little SINner. And don't try and tell me that you haven't ever channeled Tricky Dick once or twice. Your stories are full of sneaky, secretive characters who all claim “I am not a crook!“
Here’s the thing
If I cannot have Cool Hand Luke for a muse, and I have to be stuck with a man, then why can’t I have a man who is a woman? Seriously. Why can't I be channeling those Transgender Women from Transform Me? At least I'd feel transformed ... and I’d know how to accessorize!
Transform Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_HkwNxsR2E
http://www.vh1.com/video/transform-me/full-episodes/christina-episode-2/1634310/playlist.jhtml
Hi there - a day late (and a dollar short) but I wanted to say I LOVED your post about Endora. Talk about a fickle muse! She's just PERFECT in describing the give and take of a muse; given what else I have read by you I am not at all surprised at how dead-on accurate and a-musing (couldn't resist) your post is.
I have to say that I really enjoy your perspective and I love how your writing is both entertaining and thought provoking, inspiring and motivating. I am so glad that you are now part of this site - more Donna for us aspiring lurking wanna be writers who hang out in the background and watch all your pros go at it.
Thank you for giving us something juicy to chew on!
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