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Tuesday, February 16, 2010
What Are Friends For?
Hells and I met up for our monthly writing meeting the second Saturday of the month like usual. Goals had been set (and almost met!), agendas planned, food made and topics ready; and I brought a guest. None other than the GPS. Through the years, the GPS and I have been the closest of friends and the fiercest of allies, yet both of us struggle to portray that type of character on paper. Hells was gracious enough to allow the GPS aboard again to bring you the topic of friends and what you would and wouldn't do for them.
The Grand Pixy Sita here again bringing you the latest news from Booty magazine. I’ve got the hottest scoop on the new rage, Vajazzling. Some of you may remember the bedazzler. If you owned or operated a bedazzler, you will be more familiar with this new fad. If you’re not, maybe you can remember the phase where everyone was covering things with rhinestones. It was all about the bling; cell phones, cameras, PDAs, etc. Well, this fad is the beautiful and sparkling combination of both.
The world of the vajayjay has never looked brighter. I am headed out to investigate this brave new world and see what kind of people are really into this new taboo. Are there shops like body piercing? Is this a strictly DIY project? Is it a closet, I’m only going to trust my best friend, project?
It didn’t take much research to determine this was a DIY project. DIY with a close personal friend. (Though the tattoo artist seemed game, I didn’t feel I could trust him. Call me paranoid.) So I decided to ask my friends. They’re game, right? They’d take a bullet for me. What’s a little hot box blinging amongst friends?
As luck would have it, I happened to be flying past the RWR and was able to drop by and see my good friends Hells and Sin. A couple bottles of rum, and I’d have more material than I would ever need for my article. Jazzling Amongst Friends—I could see the title now. While I hoped they would have some insight for my article, I secretly hoped one of them had been in the closet and now had a sparkling hooha they were willing to show off like a sequined purse.
“So, Sin, have you heard of Vajazzling?”
“Have you been drinking and flying again?”
“You know, Sin,” Hells piped up, “We were blogging about it last week. In the comments. You know… the sparkles… down… well… there… you know… it.”
“So, Hells, you know about it, eh? Have you secretly had it upgraded lately?” I was simply drooling in anticipation. A break in the story! Pixy dust was flying everywhere as my sweet little wings were buzzing in the air.
“NO. Are you kidding Sita? Why on earth would I have that done? Can you imagine the conversation of explaining where I’d want the rhinestones put? Apparently I’m the only person on this ship who refers to my special place as an it. No, thank you.”
Who knew the Captain was such a sharer?
“Well… if you ever wanted to really make your special place special—“ how I kept from laughing I don’t know—“I just so happen to have some adhesive and some beautiful blue jewels. We could have fun.”
Hells gave me a Look. “So I could have a matching blue box to go with my boyfriend’s blue….”
Sin leapt into the fray, clearly concerned for my safety. Hells was looking like someone who’d pull the wings off flies, let alone mouthy pixies. “Hells, I told you Sita would do it if you asked. She is such a freak like that.” Okay, maybe she didn’t love me that much. She had a hateful smile on her face.
Still, if she was reckless enough to step in front of the Captain, she’d surely be up for a little harmless redecorating. What was this really but a sparkly version of a bikini wax? If you could have a bikini wax done without blinking an eye, what was the big deal about gluing on crystals?
“You know, Sin, I’m not always that predictable. I’m actually trying to get out of the smut business and work for a real publication like the Treasure Chest. Unfortunately I’m having some trouble with my real investigative writing. Apparently my editors and my agent feel like I’m only suited to be the star reporter for Booty magazine. It’s not like I’ve done anything that wild. It’s not like I’ve uploaded my own video to Argtube or anything. No one has any official record of me doing anything raunchy to me or anyone else. Especially not that hot little thing I was stalking a while back. Come on, you guys have to help me. I really need a story—a human interest story about the power of friendships—to break my way in… Right after we vajazzle Hells.” I batted my eyelashes. “You know, for the sake of friendship.”
Sin and I both had a devilish look on our faces, but Hells merely drew her sword and gave the Look again. “Don’t even think about it. We’re not that good of friends.” Then she left. Poor crabby Captain. She could use some bling for her box. Then she could stop calling it an it.
“You know, Sita, if you come anywhere near me with those jewels of yours, I’ll kill you.”
“Don’t worry, Sin, we aren’t that good of friends.”
So my fellow pirates, help a fellow Pixie out: how do you write believable friendships? The kind of friendships that last and are true, the kind where you’d walk through hell and back, or in this case, let someone vajazzle you?
***
The Grand Pixy Sita here again bringing you the latest news from Booty magazine. I’ve got the hottest scoop on the new rage, Vajazzling. Some of you may remember the bedazzler. If you owned or operated a bedazzler, you will be more familiar with this new fad. If you’re not, maybe you can remember the phase where everyone was covering things with rhinestones. It was all about the bling; cell phones, cameras, PDAs, etc. Well, this fad is the beautiful and sparkling combination of both.
The world of the vajayjay has never looked brighter. I am headed out to investigate this brave new world and see what kind of people are really into this new taboo. Are there shops like body piercing? Is this a strictly DIY project? Is it a closet, I’m only going to trust my best friend, project?
It didn’t take much research to determine this was a DIY project. DIY with a close personal friend. (Though the tattoo artist seemed game, I didn’t feel I could trust him. Call me paranoid.) So I decided to ask my friends. They’re game, right? They’d take a bullet for me. What’s a little hot box blinging amongst friends?
As luck would have it, I happened to be flying past the RWR and was able to drop by and see my good friends Hells and Sin. A couple bottles of rum, and I’d have more material than I would ever need for my article. Jazzling Amongst Friends—I could see the title now. While I hoped they would have some insight for my article, I secretly hoped one of them had been in the closet and now had a sparkling hooha they were willing to show off like a sequined purse.
“So, Sin, have you heard of Vajazzling?”
“Have you been drinking and flying again?”
“You know, Sin,” Hells piped up, “We were blogging about it last week. In the comments. You know… the sparkles… down… well… there… you know… it.”
“So, Hells, you know about it, eh? Have you secretly had it upgraded lately?” I was simply drooling in anticipation. A break in the story! Pixy dust was flying everywhere as my sweet little wings were buzzing in the air.
“NO. Are you kidding Sita? Why on earth would I have that done? Can you imagine the conversation of explaining where I’d want the rhinestones put? Apparently I’m the only person on this ship who refers to my special place as an it. No, thank you.”
Who knew the Captain was such a sharer?
“Well… if you ever wanted to really make your special place special—“ how I kept from laughing I don’t know—“I just so happen to have some adhesive and some beautiful blue jewels. We could have fun.”
Hells gave me a Look. “So I could have a matching blue box to go with my boyfriend’s blue….”
Sin leapt into the fray, clearly concerned for my safety. Hells was looking like someone who’d pull the wings off flies, let alone mouthy pixies. “Hells, I told you Sita would do it if you asked. She is such a freak like that.” Okay, maybe she didn’t love me that much. She had a hateful smile on her face.
Still, if she was reckless enough to step in front of the Captain, she’d surely be up for a little harmless redecorating. What was this really but a sparkly version of a bikini wax? If you could have a bikini wax done without blinking an eye, what was the big deal about gluing on crystals?
“You know, Sin, I’m not always that predictable. I’m actually trying to get out of the smut business and work for a real publication like the Treasure Chest. Unfortunately I’m having some trouble with my real investigative writing. Apparently my editors and my agent feel like I’m only suited to be the star reporter for Booty magazine. It’s not like I’ve done anything that wild. It’s not like I’ve uploaded my own video to Argtube or anything. No one has any official record of me doing anything raunchy to me or anyone else. Especially not that hot little thing I was stalking a while back. Come on, you guys have to help me. I really need a story—a human interest story about the power of friendships—to break my way in… Right after we vajazzle Hells.” I batted my eyelashes. “You know, for the sake of friendship.”
Sin and I both had a devilish look on our faces, but Hells merely drew her sword and gave the Look again. “Don’t even think about it. We’re not that good of friends.” Then she left. Poor crabby Captain. She could use some bling for her box. Then she could stop calling it an it.
“You know, Sita, if you come anywhere near me with those jewels of yours, I’ll kill you.”
“Don’t worry, Sin, we aren’t that good of friends.”
So my fellow pirates, help a fellow Pixie out: how do you write believable friendships? The kind of friendships that last and are true, the kind where you’d walk through hell and back, or in this case, let someone vajazzle you?
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66 comments:
Uh...well, I put them in save-the-world situations and somehow, through the doing of that, they bond.
And drink.
When I have BFFs in my novels. Come to think of it...I generally don't have BFFs in my stuff.
Friends, yes. But the sort of friends that would haul out the bedazzler for each other? Nope. I don't think they actually exist beyond the age of 14...the bedazzler-helper-kind. Though maybe Terrio's cousins would do that for each other, since they share some much other things! ;-)
*Hello?* I bet the pirates overdid Fat Tuesday.*I'll just clean up this confetti and beads* wow that's a lot of beads* while I wait.*
I try to show that my characters are friends, by not having them follow the "rules" or by having recall an activity from their past.
Di
I have a friend that's lasted beyond the age of 14--though I'm sure we wouldn't necessarily offer to vajazzle each other. I have a number of really great friends--all of whom would go the distance for me, I believe, and I'd go the distance for them--but vajazzling seems more on the end of vanity. I think we'd go a lot of things for our friends (and vice versa) if we understood the importance of the act being asked of us. Like if my friend had ovarian cancer and needed to raise money, so we made a calendar of glittery vajazzled hoohas--then sure, I could see the importance of that cause and get behind it. (I might see if we can go with bedazzled boobs first, but if not...)
But since we were talking about this last week, the incident in question was about a celebrity (supposedly) who was upset about a break up and her friend was trying to cheer her up.
The convo probably went something like:
"What does that skank's hooha have that mine doesn't?" Jennifer weeped inconsolably.
And her friend said, "Glitter."
And Jennifer sobbed: "I want glitter."
And her friend, not comfortable with copious weeping and desperate to make it stop, said: "I can hook you up."
You'll do a lot of things for your friends to make stuff stop.
My girlfriends in novels commiserate and eat Ben and Jerry's with the heroine. They yell at her if they think she's being stupid. They go along with her hare-brained plans to win the hero, even though they know hare-brained plans aren't going to do it. They support her anyway. Sometimes they drink a lot of wine.
I love BFFs in books. They're the types of characters I like to read about. A mere friend can be almost rational and normal and just merely supportive...but a BFF is like a life sister. It's hard to cut out a BFF because it's like cutting out your family. The conflict and drama adds another dimension, even as the BFF is playing the sort of mentor role your heroine needs.
I'm not sure this would apply to men, who I don't think they'd even refer to their friends as BFFs (even if they were). That'd be too unmasculine, I think. And they wouldn't necessarily bring drama either.
Di, you found us out. We overdid Fat Tuesday. Where are my beads anyway?
What was this really but a sparkly version of a bikini wax?
OMG LMAO
what was the big deal about gluing on crystals?
Uuuhhh … having to pull the damn things off? LOL
Remind me not to volunteer to do any charity photo ops with you people!
Captain Jack has your beads. He, uh, well, I'll just leave it at that.
What do you call a male hussy?
Di
Di: A man.
AMANAHAHahahaaaaa!
Jules, what are you talking about? I already have you down as Miss October! We were going to do a spiderweb and everything. It was going to be very symbolic of how you draw men to their doom.
Miss October & spider webs. Oh man ... I really have to turn off my computer. Before the temptation to say Something Really Dirty or em-bare-assing takes over my common sense. All I have to say Captain is "I don't run."
Except when I'm being chased by cute little bunnies!
Since I don't mow the lawn, there will be no vajazzling of my....lawn.
I usually use BFFs in my story as a contrast to my heroine. The BFF has issues, of course, but she's usually totally different from the heroine. Often the heroine wishes she could be more like the friend.
I don't use BFFs in my stories. Or I haven't yet. So I'm sorta out on that playing field.
I do admit that I'm with Ter. Seriously, there isn't enough traffic in that area of my body to jazz it up. I hardly remember to pluck my eyebrows and folks see them all the time. I need no additional maintenance concerns.
Foil characters are great in fiction. The sidekick is usually the one with the better quips. *grins* And don't we all sorta wish we could be more like our friends? In some aspect or another. "How does she ALWAYS get a discount in this store?"
Hmmm. Starting off with a clean canvas actually does put a damper on the whole thing. When you know you're basically going to have to rip out a nice patch of hair by its roots, THEN hot glue a bunch of little crystals that would never exist in nature--that doesn't sound pretty. That sounds INFLAMED. And that is not a spot where you want the word INFLAMED to come to mind when you look at it. Or when someone else looks at it.
How do you keep those things on anyway? Wouldn't you be regluing them on every 10 minutes? Unless you laid around and never moved, how would they remain? I can't get sequins to stay on my clothing and they're SEWN on. (Which is not an option.)
I hardly remember to pluck my eyebrows and folks see them all the time. I need no additional maintenance concerns.
*ROTFLMAO*
Speaking of which, I need to schedule my appointment for my eyebrows. I do prefer my eyebrows to be plucked.
P.S. I think having two babies is plenty enough traffic for that area. Just saying.
So, maybe the friends who are willing to bedazzle each others hooha don't have to be 14. But they need to be drinking until they have returned to the mentality of a 14 year old.
For all the rational reasons listed above...ripping out of hairs...glue gun to the southland...
I do write friends, but not the linked-arms text each other constantly BFF. More the companion in arms... "Well, the world is saved, you buy the beer."
Hells Says: "P.S. I think having two babies is plenty enough traffic for that area. Just saying."
Amen.
Chance says: "Well, the world is saved, you buy the beer."
LOL!!
Though, Marn...a true friend just buys th beer and doesn't ask the other to buy the beer. In fact, they should be arguing about who gets to pay for the beer. That's a real BFF!
I'm totally confused with this!
Pixies bedazzling hoohas?
Vajazzling the captain?
male hussies?
sparkling bikini wax?
gluing on crystals?
Julie being ' em-bare-assing ' .... OK I got that one *grin*
Mowing and vajazzling the lawn?
Can't take in anymore!
I'm off to the pub to find my best friend.
He's the one who buys the first round. :lol:
No, just no! Sometimes the simplest response is the best one.
My characters do have BFFs. They know each other's secrets, speak truths that lesser friends fear speaking, and always have each other's back. The friendships mirror those in my own life. I don't want to imagine life, real or fictional, without such friendships.
Poor Q, we'll talk about less disturbingly female topics tomorrow.
Drink up for me too.
*LOL* Janga, you're so right. Sometimes the simplest response IS the best one.
I do love those friendships best and can't imagine life without them either.
Quantum, how can you be confused with Vajazzling the captain sparkling bikini wax gluing on crystals bedazzling hoohas?
I thought that as a Quantum Physicist you would be an expert on holes. Black holes, that is.
From Wikipedia ...
A black hole is a region of space from which nothing, including light or an an enamored man, can escape. Around a black hole there is an undetectable surface which marks the point of no return, called an event horizon.
An Event Horizen? Really? And here I thought that the proper terminology was orgasm . Gosh, I learn something new everyday!
I write friends that enjoy what I love most about my friendships, and that is the ability to laugh at one another. I couldn't make it through the day in the operating room without laughter. Whoever penned laughter as the best medicine got it right. Second, I love loyalty, someone who has your back until the end. She'll hold your hair back when you puke, and grab a shovel when you need to cover up some stray evidence:)
I agree! Poor Q!
Kinda sorta From Wikipedia …
Huh. I'd like an event horizon.
I'll have to settle for another sugar cookie, I think, though.
Lisa, laughter is best medicine after all. *insert groan at bad pun here*
Frighteningly enough, THIS blog is a much-watered-down version of discussion that went on Saturday. I thought I was going to spit chocolate and strawberry across my living room with some of the stuff the Pixy was saying. One of the best writing meetings I've ever had--and only because I've never laughed so hard in my life.
Unfortunately, there have been no events over my horizon in a long time.
I'm going to have a candy bar.
Oh, yes! I totally agree with Lisa. Shared laughter is a vital part of intimacy of any kind IMO. Why would anyone want to spend time with someone they can't laugh with?
Julie said: A black hole is a region of space from which nothing, including an an enamored man, can escape. Around a black hole there is an undetectable surface which marks the point of no return, called an event horizon.
An Event Horizen? Really? And here I thought that the proper terminology was orgasm . Gosh, I learn something new everyday
Ah! I think that the penny has dropped! With an almighty clang! :shock:
Totally agree about laughter and friendship. :D
I absolutely love BFF's in my books and couldn't write one without including several for my heroine and hero. I agree with what everyone said, but Lisa's laughter comment hit closest to home. There is nothing like shared laughter. When you are with someone who gets the joke there is no greater bond.
I also love friends who are polar opposites - I think that is so much fun. I have a theory that you pick best friends the way you pick a significant other. So you are usually attracted to a personality that is totally opposite to your own. Like the real shy wallflower who hangs out with the life of the party.
I can agree with Hells. I nearly peed my pants at the meeting on Saturday. GPS gets on a roll and won't stop. Her life is one hilarious moment after the next.
So sorry I'm late. The GPS and I hit the rum a little too hard last night and I woke up this morning with a glittery forest and 40 glow-in-the-dark bracelets wrapped around my arm.
*in reality I've been stuck training all day*
Now, Irish, the GPS and I are that polar opposite. When we were kids, I was the outgoing crazy one and she was the shy bookworm. Now that we're older, she's the loud crazy outgoing one and I've become the shy, loner wallflower. Funny how age can do that but compensate in a friendship so that you never part ways.
PIXY was a shy bookworm? Who in a million universes would believe such a whopper like that?
When we were kids, GPS almost got her ass handed to her by a boy until I stepped in. She was too nice and shy for her own good.
We've gotta get Bo'sun an Event Horizon.
Chance. That should be a drink. I hope you're writing this stuff down.
I love that Jules referenced the Wiki- holder of all know useful information in the universe.
Q, I will offer up my services to personally teach you about the mysteries of secret female code.
*pushing up librarian glasses* Prepare yourself. *grin*
Chance, while I can agree that some things are childish there are different degrees of friendship to which we all have with people. I literally would do anything for GPS. I would walk on fire hot coals. I would walk the plank. I would drop everything and come to her rescue at 3am in the middle of nowhere only wearing my ratty sweat pants and tank top and a car that is prone to breaking down. I would even fly across the country for her. Bungee jump for her. Anything. She is my best friend. And she would do the same for me. Everyone needs at least one person in your life to do that for you. And if you can't say, "You know what, if you were down and depressed and the only thing that would bring you back is to glue a few damned crystals on your hooha to make you laugh, I'd do it just to make you freakin' laugh."
I love two people in my life. Mattycakes and the GPS. For those two people my loyalty is everlasting even through crazy vajazzling and random liking of bodybuilding.
That is the type of relationship for me and GPS is hard to capture on paper. How do you explain your love and devotion through the craziness? The vajazzling type of friendship is the type of friendship that has lasted, been tried and tested and broken and mended and broken only to be mended again.
Though I might go into decline that Sin doesn't love me.
the type of friendship that has lasted, been tried and tested and broken and mended and broken only to be mended again.
Exactly.
I do love you Hellie. I just can't vajazzle you.
I don't want that. I want you to kidnap Ranger. You'd do that for me, right?
Babe, if I kidnap Ranger you'll never hear from me again.
I
AM
NOT
SHARING
RANGER.
EVER.
You don't love me!!
Poor Q is going to start to snicker the next time one of his colleagues uses the term Event Horizon!
"A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot."
— Albert Einstein
To which I say “ Oh yes Albert, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Especially if that little Knowledge is bandied about a lot by a Little dangerous Woman!”
I’ll do it Captain Hell’. Its not so much that I love you … I’m just the only one who owns a industrial OSHA certified chemical suit. Complete with gloves, boots, full face mask with filtration system and a hand hat.
I guess, Sin-ister, I would hope that should I ever be in such dire straits that the only way to bring light into my life was if I insisted to my BFF that I needed dazzles on my hooha... She'd handcuff me to the mast until the impulse passed.
That would be true love.
She's also get me totally drunk on Event Horizons.
In my book, the BFF looks to the future, even when I'm totally mired in the past so deeply...I think a dazzled hooha is the answer.
Gee, I think I believe in tough love!
People, for the last time, I don't want to be vajazzled. And I'll try not to be offended that my hot box is so hazardous, it requires a suit to approach it.
From the Urban Dictionary:
If the "penny has dropped" it means someone has finally realised the situation they are in after possibly being unaware of it for a long time, depending on the situation.
==> The phrase dates back to the Victorian Era and the popular penny-slot arcades. The penny would often stick halfway down the slot and the user would then have to either wait, or give the machine a thump before the 'penny finally dropped' and they could begin playing.
Hel - I could see tattoos, even piercing...but something about bedazzling just makes me skin crawl. I'm with you!
I know...tattoos?
Common Hellion! Don't be insulted. The suit is a Very Lovely Kelly Green. Just right for the up coming Spring fashions!
There is nothing wrong with my box!
See, 2nd, we had a discussion on Saturday about TATTOOING that area with "pretty little vines"--as if I've ever met a man who didn't know WHERE to find that area and actually needed directions, but whatever--and frankly I think having my hair ripped out by the roots and having annoying little crystals hotglued on would hurt less than having a needle poked in me over and over again, and shot full of ink. The crystals in this regard struck me as the lesser of two evils. Plus I like things that sparkle better than I like tattoo pictures.
I wouldn't even consider the piercing on a bet.
But all in all, I wouldn't pick any of these choices but would instead opt for bottles of wine and laughter with girlfriends as we thought up new and fun ways to torture the men in our life, mostly by pretending we'd be interested in having a threesome. With another girl. Back in the old days, my BFF and I got a lot of mileage out of that little tease with her hubby. It was like waving bacon at a dog and then putting the bacon back in the fridge. He'd get the same deflated look and everything. We wouldn't even have to do anything; we just had to SAY it.
Matty would love this blog. We've talked about boxes all day.
Nothing is Wrong with you, Hellion. But according to Astrology.com: Daily Feng Shui Tip:
Ho hum, just another 'Madly In Love With Me' day! Or is it? When you put it on your skin, the fragrance begins to penetrate your spirit and that's the magical ingredient that gives you the power and the pull to attract other people. The spirit draws them in. The blend awakens the spirit and the spirit makes them all fall madly in love with you. Not just on this day, but every day. Using a quarter cup of almond oil as the base, blend seven drops of rose water, seven drops of vanilla (or one vanilla bean) and three drops of lemon essential oil. To this mix add a sprinkling of gold glitter and then dab on pulse points whenever you head out into the land of other people. You can also add some of this to your bathwater. An all purpose attractant. Now, are you madly in love with me yet? Yup, I thought so! See! ou Gotta Glitter!
Adds a new twist to the old saying “All that Glitters is not gold.”
http://romancewritersrevenge.com/2009/02/17/play-all-up-in-your-box-yes-mattycakes-this-titles-for-you/
Look! Exactly a year ago we were also talking about boxes!
Weird.
Is it Boxing Day or somethin'?
*groan
But honestly, I've got tattoos and I think as far as where to get tattood, that would be easier than my shoulder blade...or ankle. No going into the bone stuff... Nice and fleshy...well, for me. ;-)
Gross you out yet?
Q may never visit again.
I have a tattoo but there will never be any Hooha ink happening. NOT in this lifetime. However, have you heard hair color for down there now?
http://www.bettybeauty.com/
Couldn't make this shit up if I tried.
Ah...I love it! ;-)
The aqua blue color actually looks rather amusing. Or the pink.
And I’ll try not to be offended that my hot box is so hazardous, it requires a suit to approach it.
OooooH! You have a hot box. Well then ... forget the suit. I'll go put on some of my DH's fire retardent clothing!
Here's what I find interesting. Nobody even questions Why I have a Chemical Suit in tne first place! To funny.
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