Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Currently Unavailable

Song Choice of the week:  Rollin'- Limp Bizkit
Don't ask. I've been in a really random selection mood. Stress at work is starting to take it's toll on what little of my brain that still half-assed functions.

*cue busy tone* I’m sorry, but the person you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please hang up and try again. *end busy tone*

So in the spirit of trying to accomplish something in this lifetime, I’ve decided the only way to do it is to lock myself in a dark room with just a computer and no internet and have at it. Otherwise, it will be in my next lifetime that the book is written.

I wonder if my reincarnate will have a darker mind than me. I’m also trying to imagine what that would be like. I once wrote about a guy having his fingers chopped off, thrown into a shark tank to start a feeding frenzy and then when he was of no use informational wise anymore, he was thrown into the tank and disposed of.

So a darker version of myself would use what? Flesh eating flies?

Ooh, that’s actually not a bad idea. Let me scribble that down for later.

Hells, in her infinite brilliance, gifted me a wonderful book during our last writing meeting. I don’t know if she was hinting that I should try out some new “experiments” or if she was merely suggesting that I try poisoning people instead of torturing and killing. The book, “The Book of  Poisons (A Writer's Guide)” is super fascinating. We will completely ignore the fact that I know two-thirds of the book from personal experience. I think the most interesting thing I found was in the back of the book where it lists off in order which poison will cause a reaction the fastest.  Did you know that a Gila Monster is ranked higher than Acid.

And I’m not talking like psychedelic Acid- see hallucinations and trip balls; I’m talking flesh eating, burn like the depths of a fiery hell Acid.

So much like Renee, I had to go do some writerly investigating. Honestly, I can’t write with something like this in my head and not knowing the truth of the matter.

I went to the Wiki. Everyone knows how reliable the Wiki can be.

Stop giving me that look.

It is very unlikely on my trips to Arizona that I will die of a Gila Monster bite. Apparently they are slow and sluggish. But like snapping turtles, if they get a hold of you and clamp down, you’re screwed. The Wiki- in all it’s brilliance- says that you have to submerge a Gila Monster completely into water to get them to let go. Well, Wiki, have you been to the desert lately? Ever seen a puddle deep enough to submerge anything? If you’re clumsy enough to fall and get bitten by the slow ass Gila Monster, you better pray it’s the monsoon season (or right now because it's been raining cats and dogs on the coast and in the southwest). Otherwise, you’ll hemorrhage from the poison and that’s probably not before a Rattler sneaks up on your ass and liquefies your bones into- well- liquid.

Still not clear how this is faster than Acid.

While I’m not particularly worried about plugging in random assault weapons and looking up F.B.I information for background research into my writing, there is something that stops me at putting, Gila Monster venom vs. Acid into my Google search. Like plugging that in is finally going to get me the red flag. I’m pretty sure they’ve been watching me for three years now.

“Why the hell does she need to know that?” *looking into the Google search and pulling up articles* “Did you know the odds from dying from a stray blow dart are 5 to 1?”

*scratching head* “Are you sure she’s some backwoods kid from Missouri?”

It gives me hives to think someone out there has probably pulled up my complete record and medical history merely because Google is the very devil and allows me to research anything and everything. I try not to think about it.

Lots of good stuff and food for thought on last week’s blog. I want to know how everyone feels about research and investigating. Half the fun of writing is learning new things to incorporate into your writing. Have you uncovered anything interesting you want to share with the rest of us? Anything useful stored in your back pocket about putting someone to sleep permanently that I might need to try out in my next scene?

65 comments:

2nd Chance said...

Research!? I don't do no stinkin' research! I make it all up!

I mean, really. How do research alien librarians, albino kraken, and life after people?

OK, I can actually research that last one. On television, History Channel. Hey! How about that!? I have looked for a book on from the series...I'd like one with lots of photos.

And me pirate stuff...eh. Reality ain't a place we visit, so...

Research? Who needs research? ;)

Quantum said...

Sin, if the perfect assassination method existed, it would be reliable, quick, undetectable, silent and painful with no mess. There would then be a lot more dead bodies about the place!

Michael Palmer came close when his victim was in an apparent coma but only part of his brain was damaged. He had no control over movement and sensory output was disabled. All sensory input was working perfectly though. He could feel and hear and see everything, but to the nurses and doctors he was totally out of it. I reckon you could work with that. *grin*

Chance is partially right. Research can only take you so far. You have to invent the rest yourself.

I hope you will make this assassination extremely pleasurable. I might like to read about a death where the pleasure centres are stimulated to extinction. Wouldn't want anything messy. A long, lingering, aesthetically pleasing, sensually stimulating passing would be ideal.

Similar to death by chocolate or sex.

I hope you can share details when you succeed!

Donna said...

I love researching things via Google, and I figure no matter what crazy stuff I look up, I can always tell the Googley-eyed auditors that it's RESEARCH for my writing. Whew.

And I usually make stuff up, because I often write historicals, and haven't found a way (YET!) to time travel to do on-site research.

A couple months ago I did some fun hands-on research though, for the manuscript I recently finished. The heroine needed to learn how to shoot a gun, and since I didn't know how it was done, I went to a "learn to shoot a gun" course. It was really fun AND it was great to have the details when I wrote the scenes.

Sin said...

Oh, I love to make stuff up. Don't get me wrong. I mean, some of the best action scenes (include a little death of a villain in there) are made up stuff that in a million years would never work. That's the best part about writing. The making stuff up.

But sometimes, I like to look up stuff. Like weapon specifics (especially if I'm using a particular firearm and not sure about a magazine load) or poison specifics if the villain is using a specific method. Poison is usually something I like to fudge on. Anything can be considered a poison if you give someone enough of it. I got this wonderful thought in my head the other night of how to off people throughout the entire book. Though it's a play off something that's been done a million times, but I'm going to put a para-spin on it.

Sin said...

Q, if such a method existed I would find it. I need a research partner. Interested?

;)

The Michael Palmer method has been used over and over again in plots. I see it a lot in soap operas. Interesting, but overused. Of course, it wouldn't be interesting for the person confined by such a method, but interesting all the same for ideas in writing.

Sin said...

Donna, I love hands on research. Usually if I want to write about a firearm, I have to go test it out first. I like realistic descriptions of tangible things. Good for you for going out and taking a beginner's course on shooting. Is it something you'll do again or just a one time thing?

If you figure out how to time travel, let me know. I love history and to have the ability to go back and experience it first hand would be thrilling. I love historicals. I just wish there were more people that were passionate about history.

Marnee Jo said...

Sin - I love the way your mind works. Oh, don't get me wrong, it scares the crap out of me most days, but I find it fascinating.

As for good ways to kill people.... I used wolfsbane in my last MS. But it involves some retching and sounded quite messy. Painful though.

I did do a little research last night. I couldn't get the historical idea out of my head so I'm tagging after that story right now. I found out that the derringer was invented in the mid 1800s, by an American fellow named Deringer. And it was the kind of gun that killed Lincoln, which I guess I might have known but it was interesting to think that part of the reason Wilkes Booth got away with it was because his gun was so small.

Janga said...

I love research! Wait, let me qualify that statement. I've never researched how to kill people. I don't think I'd care to. Reading about your reseach is enough to give me nightmares, Sin.

But I have spent hours enthralled with sujects as varied as the flora and fauna of North Carolina, restoration architecture, and humanitarian service in developing nations. My problem is I get caught up in the research. One source leads me to another to another to another . . . And I end up with a fifty-page file of notes and another day of procrastination rather than writing.

Bosun said...

I am clearly going to be no help on this today. Though I would like to hit you with a blow dart for putting Fred Durst in my head.

When I think of poison, I think of that Iocane Powder scene in Princess Bride. Very low key. Oh, and at the end of the BBC Robin Hood series SPOILER AHEAD they killed Robin by poison. Though it was a slow poison so he was able to kill the bad guys before he went off to the great Sherwood Forest in the sky.

Melissa said...

I have a love-hate relationship with research. I can get caught up in interesting little facts, but, besides the side trips that give me files of info(like Janga) for another day, it's kind of deflating to realize something I think is cool (in my ignorance) really won't work logistically. I guess that's yesterday's blog. That's when I think it's best to just go with the implausible idea and figure it out in revisions.

Donna said...

Sin, I doubt I would do the shooting thing again. I'm not really a gun person, and I actually asked if I could stop before I finished the last clip because it was too LOUD, even with headphones on. LOL And I probably won't be doing much time travelling either, unless I can figure out how to take my espresso machine with me. LOL

Melissa, I'm the same way about making stuff up that I like and finding out later it won't work, and then I'm going through all kinds of contortions to MAKE it work because I think it's COOL. LOL

Hellion said...

I love research. In college I wanted to be a history major instead of an English major, just because I preferred researching dead people than literature of dead people. (Though on the history side, you would be researching their literature too...it's just different.)

I'm a Google freak. My handful of non-internet friends sometimes ask me to look up something they can't find. (Which is a hit-and-miss because as much as I google, there are other friends I have to ask to google and find something for me... *LOL*)

Anything particular I've discovered lately? Hmm. Well, I've glommed the Princess Diaries this week and have discovered all my useless celebrity trivia I've been "researching" from those magazines could actually benefit me in my books. *LOL*

hal said...

I adore research. For my last MS, I researched a ton of shit on the IRA, explosives, and car bombs. Then I googled "crowded tourist spots London" because, well, I needed a good spot for a terrorist attack. Also checked out books from the public library on arms smuggling and bomb making.

Yeah.......I'm waiting for homeland security to show up on my doorstep.

I do have one CP at school who is a black belt in various forms (yes, that's multiple black belts!) of martial arts. So every time I write a fight scene, she tells me how it would *actually* end in real life (usually with my heroine dead instead of standing over the bad guy's body and smiling). So she decided to just show me when we were at school last month -- totally took me down in the Marriott lobby, left me in a crumpled ball on the carpet, and said, "See, THAT's what you're heroine should have done instead. That sort of research I'm not so fond of *g*

Sin said...

Marn, come closer dearie. I promise I won't poison you with my corrupt mind.

*evil laugh*

I saw something on Booth the other night about how in his time was considered one the most handsome men on stage. He had a pretty prominent career, from what I watched. Very fascinating stuff.

And I love history on firearms. Interesting stuff on the derringer.

Di R said...

Very thought provoking blog, Sin!

(Apologies to you and Hellion for yesterday I heart you guys, too)

I think it's interesting how often poisonous plants are the most beautiful.

Di

Sin said...

Janga, I love that type of research as well. Though I tend to read one paragraph and start daydreaming about how it looks in my head.

I try to tone down the stuff I write in the blogs to keep from giving people nightmares. Or from thinking I'm one small step from being a psychopath.

Sin said...

Bo'sun, dearest, would you like for me to stand up on the rails and start yelling, "Keep Rollin', Rollin', Rollin', Ah, keep Rollin', Rollin' Rollin'..."

You can imagine me doing the suck it motion with my arms too because if I'm going to listen to LB, I've gotta get the prickish attitude that goes with it.

Honestly, I don't own the song. It was on the radio when I was writing this blog at work.

We could have us a nice blow dart fight to the end. I'm down with the blow darts.

Bosun said...

My luck, I'd suck the damn thing in and swallow it.

Hellion said...

I love research because it can trigger a lot of the "What If" game. Instead of starting with NOTHING (and even in alien worlds, you're starting from at least having watched or read about alien "worlds" and you live in THIS world so you're building according to a structure we live in as well--there is always structure, there is always a blueprint you're picking from--so don't even bother pretending otherwise)--you start with a tidbit and then you play "what it?"

Bosun said...

And it could have been worse, you could have with that Nookie shit. Though have you ever heard the lounge act version of that? Freaking hysterical.

Sin said...

Ter, I'm totally going to leave the sucking thing alone.

Sin said...

Melissa, I get caught up in the little things and then spend entire days looking it all up because I have to know the truth of the matter. I need to be someone's research assistant. I like learning stuff. I hated school. But I like learning.

I'm a lot like Hal. Realistically, my fight scenes would never end up good because I don't really know any martial arts but it's fun to imagine in my head that my heroine is kicking ass and taking names.

Di R said...

One of the ladies in my local RWA chapter once called the police station (on the non emergency line) and asked about poisons. Twenty minutes later she had 2 detectives knocking on her door. LOL She took them down to her office to show them that it really was just a research question.

Di

Hellion said...

Rollin, rollin, rollin? Am I the only one who is finishing that sentence in her head with "RAWHIDE!"?

Clearly I am.

hal said...

Di - that's hilarious!

Marnee Jo said...

Hal - you cracked me up with your Marriott lounge story. :)

hal said...

Can you imagine what the poor guests thought? Imagine me getting my ass kicked by a girl even smaller than me *g*

Sin said...

I wish that was on youtube, Hal. Not that getting your ass handed to you in the Marriott lounge is fun, but it would be entertaining for the rest of us. lol

Sin said...

Honestly, I'm so lost in the comments now I don't even know who I've replied to and who I haven't. lol

Sin said...

Di, that is going to be me. I'm going to end up questioned and try to explain why I need to know these things for a realistic feel for my writing and they aren't going to buy it.

Sin said...

Hells, I think you're the only one missing a reply. I thought I'd replied to you and then I realized I replied to your email instead. LOL

2nd Chance said...

I love research because it can trigger a lot of the “What If” game. Instead of starting with NOTHING (and even in alien worlds, you’re starting from at least having watched or read about alien “worlds” and you live in THIS world so you’re building according to a structure we live in as well–there is always structure, there is always a blueprint you’re picking from–so don’t even bother pretending otherwise)–you start with a tidbit and then you play “what it?”



Do not.

Bosun said...

Thank you for refraining, Sin. I'm still surprised no one jumped on my "got busy for one afternoon" comment yesterday. I assure you I did not mean it in the good sense.

I really need to proofread these things before hitting submit.

2nd Chance said...

Sin, I think yer safe from the authorities as long as people don't start dropping dead around you... Then?

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, otherwise ya end up insulting other people's womanly parts accidentally and they never let your forget it.

(Hel? Yer worm is plaguing my laptop...and driving my DH insane trying to track it down...)

Sin said...

Hm, everyone stay away from me then. lol

You get my mail yet?

Sin said...

Oh hell, obviously *I* missed that comment yesterday.

So, was he tall, dark and hot? With oiled abs and has an incredible ability to push someone up against a wall and take full advantage of a short skirt?

I need one of those.

2nd Chance said...

Will stop by the PO Box today for it! But won't be putting it on my laptop till the great worm hunt and erradication expedition is done...

Sin said...

I still can't believe there was insulting womanly parts going on and I missed it. That would've been a good convo for the GPS and I to get in on. People would've scattered like cockroaches in the light.

Sin said...

Good luck with that worm. It's one of the nastiest to get off a hard drive in a long while. Sort of like Trojan of olden times.

2nd Chance said...

Actually, I've thought about it and Hellie is right about one thing. I do like to research...my rums. I held a personal taste testing some weeks back... ask the Bo'sun, I e-mailed her at some point in the process, though I don't remember exactly why...

Otherwise, I don't research...I think what Hel described earlier is more along the lines of the 'borrowing' I have admitted to.

Quantum said...

Sin said: The Michael Palmer method has been used over and over again in plots

Didn't expect brilliant original suggestions did you! *grin*

'Locked in syndrome' is a real medical condition and quite fascinating as used by Palmer for his medical suspense 'The Second Opinion'. At least I found it so.

Palmer is a medical doctor so has all the 'research' already done for this type of novel.Perhaps the moral here is to write what you know if possible. The result can then be expected to carry conviction, without having to spend countless hours on Google or in libraries. You can spend your time on the creative 'inventing' phase.

So Sin, may I ask what you know that could be adapted for convincing murder material?

Second thoughts, don't answer that. Wouldn't want you to incriminate yourself. :lol:

Bosun said...

Trust me, if filing income tax returns could kill someone, Sin would figure out how to use it.

And after I read about this "Locked in syndrome" over here, I popped onto another blog to find the excerpt of a new book that included...you guessed it...the locked in syndrome. LOL! I guess it is used quite a bit!

I don't remember why Chance emailed me during the rum tasting either, other than to give me the run down on the rum. :)

Hellion said...

Trust me, if filing income tax returns could kill someone, Sin would figure out how to use it.

ROTFLMAO

Too true.

I think people (i.e. Q and 2nd) are assuming we're researching BRAND NEW things we know nothing about to write BRAND NEW books that show we know nothing about it. I'm all for writing what you know (and less for "make shit up"). I like the researching that adds color to your writing. Makes it special and more indepth than the run of the mill stories that all look the same. Like what Lisa Kleypas does when she talks about weaving or types of butterflies or whathaveyou. I don't think she weaves in her spare time and is pulling from "an original source"--I think she just discovered her character liked weaving and did some interesting research about it and shared it with the rest of the class. I also don't think she's a butterfly catcher. I think she googled it.

2nd Chance said...

Found some good stuff that night... ;)

I think I saw an episode of House that dealt with the locked in syndrom. I swear, that idea is a total nightmare for me! Would take a total sociopath to use that on someone... Well, unless they were like Hitler or something like that...

Hellion said...

Had not heard of locked-in syndrome, but I want to thank you guys for giving one more thing to be paranoid about.

And if Wiki is remotely true about the French journalist guy with this syndrome, who "wrote" an autobiography by blinking his eyelid and someone writing it down (seriously who can spell like that?)--I feel like a complete dumbass for not writing FASTER.

2nd Chance said...

OK, then from what you consider research, my taking note of the many shades the ocean is on any given day is research... OK. I'll go with that!

My life is one big research project. I do like that idea. And I am going to be doing some minor research into making books...ie, folding, weaving the spine or whatever it's called, for the Kraken's story. (Gotta give my lady a hobby I've always been interested in!)

But I haven't done it yet!

Bosun said...

Chance - Check out Kate Carlisle's Bibliophile Mysteries series. Her heroine/crime solver does the book binding thing for a living, I believe.

http://www.katecarlisle.com/

We should all do a bit of research each day. Life would be boring if we never learned anything new. I get my fix through watching Jeopardy. :)

2nd Chance said...

And I watch true crime shows... and read the newspaper. Every day!

I think I've read that series...

Quantum said...

Like what Lisa Kleypas does when she talks about weaving or types of butterflies or whathaveyou.

Good point Helli. Though I imagine that Kleypas wasn't obliged to select weaving and butterflies. 'Nature observing' may be a hobby, and she might have a friend who is in to weaving or other 'country arts and crafts' which decided her.

Not saying 'research' is wrong, or you shouldn't do it to brush up on hazy areas of your personal knowledge. Just that its sensible to choose a general scenario in which you are fairly comfortable.

As you work in a college, for example, it would be natural to base a suspense novel on academic rivalries.

Use of the term 'research' also seems odd to me. My research involves mainly delving into matters which are not understood, whereas you are using the term for 'looking up factual material'.

Still its horses for courses. If it works for you thats what matters!

2nd Chance said...

Yea! I read her first one!

Hellion said...

Q, I think "researching" about topics that are passions of friends and family are a natural way to "research" and get more reliable information, than just going to search on the web. I think the research has to be something you'd truly be interested in knowing something more about--and I think culling your friends' pursuits is a natural way of doing that.

For me, it would not be "natural" to base a suspense novel on academic rivalries. Though I work in a University setting and definitely have taken minutes in meetings and can tell you who hates whom and why, I don't have an interest in KILLING stories and wouldn't write about it. Now, if I got to humiliate the hell out of the academics while making the secretary win the day--and making them all sorry they crossed her, that is the book I'd write. Comedy and suspense in the sense of "who stole so and so's idea?"

If we're going to discuss the semantics of how we're using the word "research", I'm going to feel like I'm in an academic meeting and I'm going to throw a stapler.

2nd Chance said...

Duck! Stapler!

2nd Chance said...

Good point, Q. I do think we all tend to think of research as looking up factual stuff. While for science, it's about discovering new stuff that becomes facts!

Sin said...

Hm, *thinking*

Ah-ha! I've got it.

Okay, all you have to do is lace the paper tax return with poison. Paper cut them and let their insides melt.

2nd Chance said...

As if taxes don't scare me enough...

Sin said...

I'm just full of rainbows, clouds and cotton candy remedies.

Quantum said...

Helli said: Now, if I got to humiliate the hell out of the academics while making the secretary win the day–and making them all sorry they crossed her, that is the book I’d write. Comedy and suspense in the sense of “who stole so and so’s idea?”

LOL Thats just the sort of thing I had in mind.
In my experience the secretary who takes minutes wields enormous power. Religiously recording the odd blasphemous remark and forgetting the subsequent apology. Interpreting all the 'argy bargy' and condensing it into a brief summary. I used to find that the first half hour of the subsequent meeting involved people fiercely denying what they were reported as saying!

The secretary could be the secret mistress of the committee chairman and he could be using her to 'adjust' the minutes to blacken the reputation of his chief rival for head of department. She could also 'treat' the copy sent to that person following Sin's suggestion.

Possibilities are endless! :wink:

Tax returns send me nuts as well .... Could have killed the inspector who pushed my consultancy fees int the following tax year so I had to pay super-tax. If you need help murdering a tax man Sin, I'm your man. :lol:

2nd Chance said...

Nice idea, Qster!

Both of them!

Janga said...

Darlin' Q, I'm going to disagree with you. I knew next to nothing about guitar playng, writing country songs, quilting portraits, restoring historic houses, fighting corporate America, or any of the long list of things my characters do. But I had a great time reading books and articles, lurking on discussion boards, and asking questions of knowledgeable friends. I'm following Nora Roberts' advice: "Write what you want to know." :)

Quantum said...

Dear Janga, “Write what you want to know.” sounds a great enjoyable way of learning and expanding your knowledge horizons. But isn't that primarily pursuing hobby interests with a secondary goal of weaving them into your novel?

If the objective is to sell lots of books and make money, I suspect the strategy may lack efficiency!

Could dear Nora perhaps have had tongue in cheek when making that comment?

Somehow I can't believe that a rigorous application of the principle would have generated so many excellent entertaining books *grin*

It would be good to get her as 'author of the month' on the EJ?JQ BB and we could then probe in a little more detail.

I speak of course as an arm chair theorist. A 'would be' author who has published no fiction as yet, so my thoughts are somewhat theoretical.

Though in the words of the great theoretician Paul Dirac, "If the experiment doesn't fit the theory, check the experiment"

I hope Helli is keeping the minutes properly! :wink:

Bosun said...

Q - No one said you had to write fast to write. (If that's the case, a lot of us are in trouble.)

And I don't think it's pursuing a hobby and weaving it into the story. For instance, one of Nora's books centers around scuba divers, mostly ones who find wrecks in the ocean. The detail she included was amazing, not too much, not too little. Just enough to make that story real.

Now, I doubt (though I do not know her personally) that Nora wants to take this up as a hobby. She likely found it interesting, knew her readers would find it interesting (some of them anyway) and knew she needed enough details to make it real.

None of these motivations say hobby to me. :)

Hellion said...

Helli is done for the day. Helli just told her boss that "I can't believe you guys totally gangbanged Dr. Bell during that meeting!" Helli wants to go home.

And wasn't Nora the one with the "glass blower" for a hero/ine? You mean to suggest Nora blows glass in her free time (though what free time? Doesn't she write 8 books a year? Hell, I don't know how she researches...)? I don't mean to suggest Nora is anti-blowing, but I doubt it's glass.

Bosun said...

Yep, Maggie in one of the Irish Trilogies was a glass blowing artist. And Nora claims she uses the internet to research. Which likely helps in getting the books written, not having to leave her computer and all.

2nd Chance said...

And I read books like Nora's for what I can learn about some subjects, like glass blowing. And for cooking? Tons of books with food out there...

And that is about as far as my normal research goes into any of it!