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Monday, December 21, 2009
Hellie's Favorite Blog of the Year: I'll Take Some Chicken Salad
I admit it. It was tempting to re-run one of my blogs. I was really fond of the Sponge Bob blog and the one about the Wright Brothers. Hell, the one about Terri getting her degree this year was a hell of a lot of fun too, wasn't it?
But let's be honest, nothing beats invisible chicken. Marnee's blogs always amuse me--and she does it in so few of words. I'm jealous really. (I overwrite everything.) In any case, I was having a Crap, I Suck week (month, year, whatever) and it was wonderful to run across this blog again. Thank you, Marn! :)
If you’ve checked out our Fore & Aft section to the left (that would be <— that way, ladies and gent) you’ve read our bios. Though we’ve been a bit slackerish about updating them recently (we’re PIRATES), there is a reference to chicken salad in mine.
Maybe you just thought I loved me some chicken salad. If you did, you’d be right (what’s not to love?) But, that isn’t the real reason. Hellie was referencing the blog below. I wrote this blog over a year ago and it was posted on my very very neglected personal blog. Please read, then I shall continue.
****************
So, I was bashing my head against the monitor of my laptop yesterday…. No, I lie. My laptop was an expensive purchase. I was really bashing my head on the table top in the kitchen. Anyway, I digress. In the midst of my self-abuse, I was ranting about how I was never going to finish, how hard it was to get this out, and worrying obsessively about whether it would even be any good.
My husband, in his infinite wisdom, squeezed my arm, and said, “Honey, you know how I always tell you that you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken sh!t?” As this is a common phrase in our household, I nodded pathetically, unsure of where he was going with this.
“Well,” he said. “You also can’t make chicken salad out of an invisible chicken.” Then, after dispensing this tidbit worthy of Confucius, he went off to watch ESPN. I sat in stunned silence. This made it so clear to me! He was right of course. I can’t fix something or make it what I want if it’s still in my head. It was his nice way of telling to quit whining and write the darn thing down.
My husband is brilliant.
*****************
This week, I’ve been again banging my head against my table and wondering what the heck happened to the words of my story. I know the damn thing’s in my head someplace but I’ve been a bit paralyzed.
This was one of those am-I-any-good/will-this-story-suck-it/I-swear-I’ll-never-finish weeks. *le sigh*
Clearly, I needed a little chicken salad.
Anyone else got stuff that gets the lead out your brain? Has anyone ever had these moments of clarity? And where did they come from? If not, has anyone out there had a day when they realized again why they married their spouse? Anyone else having a “Crap, I suck” week?
But let's be honest, nothing beats invisible chicken. Marnee's blogs always amuse me--and she does it in so few of words. I'm jealous really. (I overwrite everything.) In any case, I was having a Crap, I Suck week (month, year, whatever) and it was wonderful to run across this blog again. Thank you, Marn! :)
* * *
If you’ve checked out our Fore & Aft section to the left (that would be <— that way, ladies and gent) you’ve read our bios. Though we’ve been a bit slackerish about updating them recently (we’re PIRATES), there is a reference to chicken salad in mine.
Maybe you just thought I loved me some chicken salad. If you did, you’d be right (what’s not to love?) But, that isn’t the real reason. Hellie was referencing the blog below. I wrote this blog over a year ago and it was posted on my very very neglected personal blog. Please read, then I shall continue.
****************
So, I was bashing my head against the monitor of my laptop yesterday…. No, I lie. My laptop was an expensive purchase. I was really bashing my head on the table top in the kitchen. Anyway, I digress. In the midst of my self-abuse, I was ranting about how I was never going to finish, how hard it was to get this out, and worrying obsessively about whether it would even be any good.
My husband, in his infinite wisdom, squeezed my arm, and said, “Honey, you know how I always tell you that you can’t make chicken salad out of chicken sh!t?” As this is a common phrase in our household, I nodded pathetically, unsure of where he was going with this.
“Well,” he said. “You also can’t make chicken salad out of an invisible chicken.” Then, after dispensing this tidbit worthy of Confucius, he went off to watch ESPN. I sat in stunned silence. This made it so clear to me! He was right of course. I can’t fix something or make it what I want if it’s still in my head. It was his nice way of telling to quit whining and write the darn thing down.
My husband is brilliant.
*****************
This week, I’ve been again banging my head against my table and wondering what the heck happened to the words of my story. I know the damn thing’s in my head someplace but I’ve been a bit paralyzed.
This was one of those am-I-any-good/will-this-story-suck-it/I-swear-I’ll-never-finish weeks. *le sigh*
Clearly, I needed a little chicken salad.
Anyone else got stuff that gets the lead out your brain? Has anyone ever had these moments of clarity? And where did they come from? If not, has anyone out there had a day when they realized again why they married their spouse? Anyone else having a “Crap, I suck” week?
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42 comments:
Aha! Aye, words that disappear when faced wit' a computer screen! I know those words! It's all there, layin' in bed, tellin' meself the story...then that keyboard the next mornin'... I still know the story but the words? Gone.
And the only way 'round it is ta jus' spit some words out, start anywhere and see where it leads ya. Well, that works fer pantsers. Not sure what plotters do...
Those head poundin' days? Aye on that one, too. And as fer the spouse? He keeps puttin' a cushion on the table fer me ta bang 'gainst. A good 'nuff reason fer climbin' 'board 'is ship nearly 30 year ago.
I've been so damn close to the end of current project for so long, it's killing me. I had some major interruptions (I wrote another book, did revisions and copyedits and proposals and life, etc.), but now that I'm at 89,000+ words, it's like pulling teeth. I will finish. I will eat chicken salad if I have to (actually I have sesame chicken in the fridge--yum). I will stop blog-hopping and just do it. I won't be happy until I can whine about something else.
Great blog and great choice, Cap'n!
I don't bang my head, but only because I get headaches very easily. Want to though. I have trouble thinking outside the box, so usually the only thing that gets me going when I'm stuck is talking to other writers. Though it has to be the right writers.
No spouse at the moment, but I can tell you about the day I realize that I SHOULDN'T have married the last one. :)
I knew you'd rerun this blog, Hells.
Sometimes DH's have a flash of brilliance. It doesn't happen often so when it does, you often want to capture it in some way.
I have a tendency to bang my head against the door jam. I lean against it, face to the jam and try to knock loose some ideas. Doesn't usually work. It really just dings up the wood. Makes sense. I have hair that snaps hair brushes in half.
Chance, I think even the plotters, after they've gotten the outline out there, sometimes still have trouble throwing words on the screen and seeing what sticks. (I always thought plotters are usually more perfectionists--and perfectionists usually don't like putting a single word down unless it's the right one. You may know what scene you're starting with and where you're going, but what you have in your head is rarely as "brilliant" as it was in your head.
Maggie--*LOL*--isn't that every writer? We can't wait until we're whining about ANOTHER project. Something easier of course than whatever we're writing on now. *LOL*
It doesn't sound like you're unproductive though. When I avoid writing, I avoid writing. I mean, I avoid making grocery lists, that's how much I'm avoiding writing...
Good luck! I'm sure with you so close, you'll get it done in no time. *fingers crossed*
Bo'sun, would that have been the day AFTER you married him?
I love talking to other writers. There is something about that that jogs me out of my funk, usually; or at least makes me feel a bit more intelligent about writing than I'm feeling--and I can head back into the fray.
Actually, I threw the ring at him two weeks BEFORE the wedding. That was probably a sign.
I remember this one well, probably because my "invisible chickens" are always so plump and healthy that the real ones never measure up and the chicken salad always seems to lack something.
Except for an academic essay and a too-long Christmas story for the EJ/JQ bb, I haven't written since NaNo ended. Invisible chickens are winning the day.
Off topic--Sin, I was googling to find an Atlanta bakery I remembered and came across one in mid-town called Matty Cakes. LOL!
LOL Janga! That's awesome! I must look for it. If I could get something from that bakery Matty would die laughing.
Janga, I know exactly what you're saying. *LOL* We cannot let the invisible chickens win though! (That should be our new battle cry.)
Sin, you know me and my love of invisible chickens!
Bo'sun, that is more than a sign. You don't listen. *LOL*
So we're pirates who cry "DEFEAT THE INVISIBLE CHICKENS!"
They are going to take us away.
I was young, stupid, and desperate. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Report: finished at 90,332 words!(and you can take credit if you wish). Ate the sesame chicken for breakfast.
WHOOT!!!
Awh, I'm so flattered! :)
My DH definitely has his flashs of brilliance. And he has a very no-nonsense vibe about him. He hates to hear me complain about things I can fix. (Isn't that a lot of men, though?) So he'll let me complain some, let me procrastinate some, but at the end of the day, he'll tell me I need to just get on with it. It helps keep me grounded.
Another, "why I married my hubby moment" this weekend. I went to see my sister graduate with her PhD from University of Florida this weekend. But the giant storm up north kept me in FL an extra day. My hubby handled it all fabulously. That man in a saint.
PS. I do have to update my bio, huh? oye.
Maybe when I decide what I'm writing next. LOL!
Chance, I think even the plotters, after they’ve gotten the outline out there, sometimes still have trouble throwing words on the screen and seeing what sticks. (I always thought plotters are usually more perfectionists–and perfectionists usually don’t like putting a single word down unless it’s the right one. You may know what scene you’re starting with and where you’re going, but what you have in your head is rarely as “brilliant” as it was in your head.
Ditto. Yep, the whole thing. It says the way I feel perfectly, so why rewrite it? LOL
Nah, no one reads our bios.
Which reminds me, I think I still need to put Santa's bio on the listing...and I've had the bio at least 6 months.
Slightly distracted.
Have I mentioned the present I just got from my boss? A 2010 Harry Potter calendar! I squealed and did a dance and everything. He was quite pleased with himself.
I just checked out my bio and I really need to update that. LOL! My kiddo is in double digits now, poor Chesney is no longer with us, and I guess I should add Bumblebee. And I can say I FINISHED my degree instead of "is working on" the degree. Gosh, that sounds lovely.
Marn - Glad you missed the storm but got back safe and sound.
This was an awesome blog, Marn. And I do agree that husband's can sometimes have flashes of brilliance. It also helps to have one who is supportive and encouraging. It's kind of nice in one way cause of the supportive encouraging thing, but in another way I wish it was still my little secret. I'm all about no accountability these days! LOL
Sadly my bio does not need to be changed. *LOL*
You do need to change that last sentence. You'll strip without the need for rum.
He hates to hear me complain about things I can fix. Men ARE like that. They don't get the benefit of kvetching. Although if you lay out the right feed, they'll wind up and go to town bitching--and totally don't see the difference.
But I'm glad hubby held down the fort while you were away! Good hubby!!!
Melissa, you crack me up. Perfectionists unite!
It's rather narsarcisstic really, thinking that whatever was in our heads was brilliant...we seriously need to get a grip.
I’m all about no accountability these days!
Hear, hear, Irish!! (Which is why you never put your bio on your blog that shows the book you were working on when you started the blog is the same one 2 years later.)
We need ta get Santa ta create the Invisible Chicken Salad Sandwich. Once we eat it, we be invincible. OK...The Invincible Chicken Salad Sandwich...
So if we eat the invisible chicken salad, will we turn invisible? Then again, how will we find it to eat it?
Well, first...we catch the chicken... I thinks we puts the undead monkey on it. He'll flush the bird toward our nets...
It’s rather narsarcisstic really, thinking that whatever was in our heads was brilliant…we seriously need to get a grip.
Yes, it is narsacisstic, but the problem is, I think, more than perfectionism. It's not just matching up the perfect image with the words, but a bit of lost enthusiasm. For me, once I get that perfect scene in my head, it's like I already told myself the story. Now I have to write it out?
It's kind of like telling a funny incident to someone and laughing as you tell it, but skipping the details that make it funny. And when you come up for air, and no one's laughing...you say, "well, you kind of had to be there."
Only, while putting it down in an outline, I'm telling it, the highly amusing story, to myself. I think this is partly why I get stuck - because I bored myself writing down the bare bones of the story.
This is why it's such a hard thing for me to balance the plotter/pantser thing. I feel like I need to KNOW what's happening, but I'll lose enthusiasm retelling what I see in my head. So when I have invisible chicken salad, I have to wonder if it's not just that it's perfect in my head, or I just turned something delicious into potted meat. :)
All plotters may be perfectionists, but, believe me, not all perfectionists are plotters. I have been known to spend an hour rewriting a sequence of three sentences. It's not the book of my heart I want to write; it's the book in my head. In my head, it is perfect.
It’s not the book of my heart I want to write; it’s the book in my head. In my head, it is perfect.
Janga, you said it perfectly ;)
For me, once I get that perfect scene in my head, it’s like I already told myself the story. Now I have to write it out?
Hee, hee. Melissa, writers whine so poetically!
Ya caught what hangs me up perfectly. "Mo-o-o-m! I don't wanna practice!"
...writers whine so poetically!
LOL! Yeah, I know. And it does seem like writing is a lot of practice. I'll admit it. All excuses aside, I'm lazy. LOL
I don't know if it's laziness. To be perfectly honest... For me, it's fear. Fear that the perfect in my head isn't perfect...that even if it were, it won't be perfect on the paper. Not even perfect enough to be good.
I don't battle laziness. I battle fear.
Yeah, but battling fear is a lot of work too. Speaking for myself, I'm lazy no matter what the battle. :)
Yes, when I show up to do battle.
I say laziness because it's the practice time I know I have to put in. That's laziness. But the fear it's not going to be perfect with even with the effort is, of course, there too.
But it's not all negative. Of course, there's that love/hate. Once I battle all the why nots and have something actually written (amazing that it actually happens), I forget each battle it took to get there. Somehow, having written makes me happy. Just that sense of accomplishment. I know it's not perfect. I'm not hating the fact the result isn't perfect as much as I hated the the process.
I have to agree. Those moments of looking at something completed...those bits of glorious prose that are perfect that make you feel like you are flying... There is nothing like it.
Well, people who have kids would say there is...
I'm having a perilously fearful day, so it's hard to focus on those bits of wonderful prose. But I hear you, I know them and they are wondrous.
I love the story! I think I'm adding the cry of the invisible chicken to my next Operation Bum Glue post (of which I've been lax in posting this holiday week!).
Melissa, I'm lazy too! :) But I know what you mean about the excitement. I don't have so much of the plotting it in my head and losing the enthusiasm issue but I do need to get the words on the page before I tell a single soul of what I'm about to write because speaking the words aloud is when I lose the excitement of that First Tell.
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