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An Exercise in Frustration
For those of you who don’t know, I volunteered to coach my daughter’s softball team back in March. At the same time, I'm finishing my final two college classes and promised myself at the beginning of the year that I WOULD NOT do anything else while taking these classes. Other than the day job, but that’s a given. However, with the threat of “if no one volunteers we’ll disband the team”, I caved.
From the very beginning there have been countless issues that told me I never should have done this. From finding out I had nine little girls who had never touched a bat before, to learning I had to make one of those girls a fast pitch pitcher. (Even the boys baseball in this age range, 7-9 yr old, is coach pitch.) Then there was the lovely news that several other teams were stacked with experienced players and stealing was not only legal but coaches would be using it at every opportunity.
Just as writing has it’s *rules*, this league passed around their own list of rules that everyone was to follow. However, in nearly every game, rules have been ignored, bent, or created out of the blue. I was so furious after a game this weekend, I couldn’t sleep for running the scenario over and over again in my head.
But for all the problems I have with the adults involved, I love my little girls. They all have unique personalities, some winning through pure enthusiasm, some asking question after question in a need to know what to do in every situation, others natural talents still waiting for their chance to shine.
The same goes for writing. We get into this thinking it’ll be great fun. We get to write the stories we want to tell. We bring characters to life, torture them, fight with them, make their dreams come true. We get to THE END, smile and feel immense pride in what we have created. Then we put it out there, and the frustration begins.
A jump into a crit group might result in someone spouting venom about all the rules you’ve broken, a contest judge might hurl anything from a “doesn’t work for me” to a “what is this mess supposed to be?!” An agent might say she doesn’t get your voice or an editor might say she doesn’t see anything fresh or new. Then again, an editor might also say the work is too fresh and new. Anyone see the frustration here?
So, why do we keep going. There are writers who have been at this for years, many, many years, and still waiting for *the call*. There are writers pushing their second or third book after a dozen or more years and a dozen or more manuscripts under the bed. What keeps us going?
Is it the characters? The words? We all know it’s not the glamour or the riches. What keeps you going and what would make you stop? What authors are your inspiration and have you given yourself a deadline for reaching publication? For you readers, is there something you stick with in your life simply for the love of it?
Books by the Crew
48 comments:
What is it for me? I guess...I want to know how the stories end. I have always told myself stories...while on a long drive, while waiting to fall asleep. Or it was the dreams I'd wake up with in the morning...how did that dream end? Once I started to write the stories down...I had to know the ending.
But I've known frustration. Before I nearly died, I was going through a real crisis reg. writing. What do I do with these stories I'm telling? If I wasn't brave enough to face my fear of rejection, what was I doing wasting my time on all this writing?
I survived and found I was brave enough...then the rejection, the criticisms, the petty crap. And I went through another deliberation...hurting like hell I thought about it. Maybe I should stop... But I couldn't say it. I couldn't write it and couldn't believe it.
I think that is when I knew this wasn't something I could stop. No deadline, I don't do well with deadlines. No particular inspiration other than looking at other women who started late. Like Julia Child.
Tho I do be holdin' out fer the glamour and riches... ;)
I find it very relaxing to write short stories. Its totally different from my normal activities and a short story can be completed in an hour or two. So there are none of the frustrations of writing long novels!
One can develop a simple idea, or vent frustrations harmlessly. For example, one of my stories involved a dreadful scientist that I called Bogo McClarren. I vented my spite by dumping his work with carefully chosen rejection phrases...very therapeutic!
I have no real ambition to publish a novel. If I did it would have to be under a pseudonym I think, so any glory would belong to my shadow. Can you imagine the raised eyebrows in the senior common room when the departments publication list for the year appeared. 'Broken gauge symmetries in condensed matter'....Blah Blah.....'Sirens of the Southern Seas in Rebellion' *grin*
I would never live it down! :wink:
We're all a bunch of masochists---no two ways about it.
Nothing will make me stop at this point. I think Eloisa said this once: It's about getting that first book written. Second is about landing an awesome agent that loves your voice. Third is finding that editor that loves your voice as much as your agent. Fourth is the book on the shelf, and you should be happy at this point, most are. But you get people who are just damn determined, like me :) who won't rest until they are NYT. Then there is the RITA. Or are the last two switched? can't recall.
It never stops. If you love to write and doing it for a living I don't think you'll let those steps slow you down. It kind of forces you to keep pushing off your knees and stand up for what you want.
I did have a pub deadline. One where I said to myself, if you don't get pubbed in the first years, that's not a bad thing. If you sell before, you are rocking and rolling. That deadline wasn't going to stop me from writing.
There are numerous authors that have been inspirational along the path. :)
Terri, first, there has to be a special spot in heaven for people who coach kids. Think of all the bad things you can still do---they won't count because your place w/ St. Peter is guaranteed. :)
I started writing 'for real' in late 2006, but I had messed around for a couple of years before that. Before the infamous contest that shall not be named, I wrote some, but it was not my whole spare time focus. Now it is. It's as if a switch went off and I cannot stop myself. I don't want to stop.
I had no particular time frame or goals to achieve publication, but know I would have gotten nowhere without my crit partners and the other writers along the way---like you. I am firmly convinced left to my own devices I'd still be switching POVs every paragraph. :)
I finished my 3rd and 4th books in 2007 (don't ask about the first 2). The fourth book sold this year. There's a trilogy being shopped, and I've started 2 more, not to mention the hare-brained (or should I say cougar-brained?) novellas I finished. That's a vomitatious lot of words. As long as they keep flowing, I'll hunch over the keyboard. Like chance and Julia Child and Grandma Moses, I'm a semi-late bloomer, but I'm not dead yet!
I've always wanted to write and I think I just got to the point where I was sick of WAITING to write. I don't know what I was waiting for. I used to tell myself that I was too busy (grad school, working, planning a wedding, dating, whatever). But I got sick of making excuses to myself.
Now I think I couldn't not write. Like Maggie, I don't do anything else in my spare time. And when I don't write, I get rammy.
I'm not sure I understand why I want to write so bad. I love all of it in a its hard work but rewarding kind of way. I love each phase: the plotting, the honeymoon beginning, the treacherous middle, and that euphoric slip and slide towards the end. Revisions are tedious but by then it's so close to the end, even they're tolerable. It's all a trip, a big rush. And when people read things I write and make comments like, "I LOVE THIS" or "THIS IS SO F**KING AWESOME!" I just wanted to give them more.
I do kinda have a publication deadline but not in the "if I don't publish in this time I'll stop writing" way. Like I said, I don't think I could stop at this point. But if I don't publish by a certain time I might go back to a full time job. When the baby-making/day care phase of my life is over. Because that's kinda my day job right now. :)
Chance - How long have you actually been writing? And knowing how it ends is good motivation. At this point, I'd feel terrible if I didn't finish Bryan & Celi's story and let them get to the HEA. LOL!
I don't do well with deadlines either. Too much like being told what to do. :) I figure as long as I enjoy it and the stories come to me, I'll keep writing. How much I invest in contests or conferences might change, but I don't really see any need to stop if it's still enjoyable.
Q - I'm with you on the short stories. When I get back to the writing, the first thing I'm going to do after I devour some craft stuff is to kick out some short stories. I have one that just needs a little revising and another started. I like the idea of whipping something out and seeing a finished product pretty quick. Hopefully, that will get the momentum going for the longer hauls. LOL!
And it would be cool if you managed to get a little series of short stories published about your Sirens. They are such an interesting lot. ;)
Maggie - I sure hope you're right. I'm expecting a really cushy cloud with an awesome view at this point. LOL!
I never think age has much to do with this writing thing. Maybe because Romance authors seem to run the gammut (sp?). The truth is, some things really do get better with age, and when you're writing stories about real people experiencing life and love, who better to do it than people who have experienced life and love? It's almost a no brainer! (And there is never anything vomitatious about your stuff. Though that's an interesting word for it. LOL!)
Marn - As you know, I haven't gotten to the "this is all I do in my spare time" phase mostly because I have no spare time. LOL! I've even added a two week e-course to my schedule. I need an intervention. (But it's a Margie Lawson class and those are not to be missed!)
It is a great feeling when someone reacts positively to something you've written. My sister passed along my short story to one of her friends whom I've never met, and now I get regular requests for me. Since they are both avid Romance readers, it makes me feel kind of good.
And we're all on the same page about not stopping. It's not like you have to be in shape, or have lots of money to write. Anyone, anywhere, at any age can do it. Pencil and paper is really the only thing you *have* to have. Why would anyone give it up if they enjoy doing it?
So maybe the question should be, what could take the joy out of it for you?
It's the characters and the words. I sorted out my spare bedroom this weekend. I had finally-FINALLY-gotten some bookshelves and put up my fiction novels. So I have unpacking the rest of the boxes and crap on the floor and putting stuff in a PLACE rather than a spot on the floor.
I have about 30 notebooks. 20 of them have tidbits about Lucifer in them. *LOL* I'm obsessed with his character. And I must have had about 15 different ways I tried to approach telling his story; and I'd read the little bits of scene and laugh at my writing. Some of it was very good. Some of it, not so much. All of it made me want to take it back to my bedroom and start working on his story again.
I think for me characters keep me going--and making the words work.
When I was a teenager scribbling, I always figured I'd be published by the time I was 26--at the latest 30. Clearly that ship has sailed. So basically the deadline is now: sometime before I die, I'd like to be published. In the meantime, I should just finish a whole bunch of manuscripts and keep scribbling and improving.
I'm not sure what would take the joy out of it...I do tend to notice I write less when I'm "happy", because I don't have "the time"--I tend to write more when I'm saddest, like I'm trying to write myself to a happy ending. *LOL*
I imagine if I got a bunch of negative Publisher Review reviews, that might make me put down the pen, but I don't know. I don't have to worry about that for a long, long time.
For me too, it's the characters. And frankly, if I didn't write them down, they'd just keep running around in my head and clogging things up. I write for my sanity. Hence, I have no publishing deadlines or real firm goals. I have things I'd like to achieve, sure, but I can't imagine I'd ever stop. Worst case scenario, I'd just switch back to fanfic and have fun with it.
But the joy....there's all sorts of things that can suck the joy out of writing. The last fanfic novel I posted, I was getting literal hate mail from readers (no idea why anyone would ever stoop to sending hate mail through a fanfic site, but whatever...). It stressed me out, big time. I lost all love I'd had for that story (and got a little nervous, as well, about all those threats involving axes and flames). Emails from readers just turned into something to dread and brace myself for, rather than something fun and exciting.
Though, there's enough crazies out there that I'll have to learn to just ignore them sooner or later! lol
Hellie - Right now I think it's the challenge, the doing what I said I'd do and getting it done. I don't think I've fallen in love with a character the way you have with Lucy, but I know I have stories I'm really looking forward to writing. Some ideas that are more than a year old and only notes on some scrap of paper.
Anything I do in life because I want to, I do as long as it's fun. I loved working in radio, but it stopped being fun so I hung it up. Back in HS, I did band for three years, then it stopped being fun and I walked away. Some might say that's not a good thing, but that's just how I am. So if a day comes when I hate doing it and can't pull any enjoyment out of it at all, I'd probably walk away. However, I can't think of what would make that happen.
And HUZZAH for the bookshelves!
Hal - They threatened you? Seriously? That's just nuts. I know our characters feel real to us and if we do them justice, they feel real to the readers. But they are still just made up characters. They aren't real and certainly not worth committing violence!
Goals are always good, deadlines not so much. I understand things like wanting to be a star athlete or a mega pop star having an expiration date, but writing is totally different. NO expiration dates, so why impose them on ourselves? LOL!
Hmmm. How long have I been writing? Little bits here and there, forever. But the sit on my ass with a computer and just go? Five years? Six?
Telling myself stories? I think sometimes I was born with something going on in my head. Me and Mighty Mouse, my childhood invisible friend...we had adventures all the time.
Yup...goals are different than deadlines. I can handle goals. Deadlines are like digging holes in my path. I will trip on them, I will fall in them, I will disappear into the deepest of them. Goals? Ah, goals are more like signposts in the sky. Can't trip on a signpost.
Well, I probably could, but it's less likely.
And it's easy to say what would stop me. I could die. OK, I will die someday. So, I'm looking at death as my final critique.
Gee, Chance, you sure have a way of putting things in perspective. LOL!
I guess I was always making up scenes in my head when I was a kid, but never thought about writing them down. Certainly had the obligatory invisible friends but mostly because I loved to talk and no one else was interested in listening. I know, shocker right?
I think lots of things could take the joy out of writing. If my husband/family wasn't supportive, I think it'd be a LOT harder to write.
And I think I'm in the I don't think I'll ever stop writing group. I just like it too much. :)
Laura Ingalls Wilder was 65 when Little House in the Big Woods, the first of the eight Little House books was published. I find her story inspiring.
I can't imagine that I will ever stop writing, but I have given myself a deadline as far as romance writing is concerned. If I don't have an agent by July 2010, I'm going to focus on other things I want to write. I'm very conscious of "Time's winged chariot."
Puts thing in perspective, don't it!? I figure I'll be the batty old aunt who dies and all niece and nephews will be digging in through the boxes of stuff, finding MS all over the place. Tho in this day and age, I figure it's actually CDs, date sticks...etc.
I didn't know that about Laura Ingalls Wilder...thanks! I like to know about the older ladies club... That way I don't look at the years behind me and think it's too late.
Marn - I think the lack of support would take the joy out of life altogether. That is such an important aspect in anything we do.
Janga - I sure hope when that date comes, you'll let us read whatever you have. I don't care if it's out of order or not quite finished in your eyes, I'll take it. :) Though I'm positive that by that date, we'll be celebrating swooping your books off the store shelves.
Chance - It's never too late! (Spoken by the woman whose mother had another kid at 42. Anything can happen. LOL!)
Speaking of LIW, I just had to replace "On the Banks of Plum Creek" and I bought a shipment from Amazon. So I have that book; and a book from the "Caroline" series, about her and Charles, the end of the series. *LOL* (I'm cheating, yes.)
Glad to know she started publishing around age 65. I have a few more years yet to get stuff polished. And er, written.
Also she's a shining hallmark of taking life experiences and turning them into a great story. Embellished life events. Nice.
Not that I could do that in my life. A.) No one would be remotely interested in the basketball from my small town--I mean, no one's interested now; B.) I have yet to meet my Almanzo Wilder; C.) I suspect I might have to become a schoolteacher--which makes me run screaming from the room.
That 65 is encouraging. Plenty of time!
My sister had that entire series (some box set someone gave her) when we were kids and though I read everything else, I never read the Little House books. I think I figured I'd just watch the show. LOL!
Well, Cap'n...if'n ya think a' this scallywag crew as a test 'a whether ya could run a classroom...I think ya'd do well...
But I wouldn'a wish it on ya!
*shiver
'nuff ta give me nightmares!
I don't know which comment made me scream loudest. The one where Terri says she thinks she got all she needed to know about the Little House series from that freaking TV show OR 2nd Chance sweetly saying I could be a schoolteacher.
By the way I got a compliment from someone else today about "teaching" her something. I hurriedly deleted the email.
Okay, it's the TV series. That one is definitely making me scream. It's bad enough you think you get all you need to know about Harry Potter from the movies--I could MAYBE live with that--but Little House? Gah! Almanzo is so much more handsome and dashing and broody and sweet...he's just so much better than the tv version. There is just so much more to those books than was done on the series. NEVER MIND the various ways the tv series took LIBERTIES on stuff. OMG! I mean, MASSIVE LIBERTIES.
Must I remind you I was like...ELEVEN! Give me a break! LOL! I wouldn't have known dashing and broody if it smacked me in the face.
I was 11!
You need to read them. You would completely understand my Amishness if you'd just read them.
I think what inspires me to write is the voices, the tidbits of story I get in the middle of the night and my curiosity has me wanting to know more. I think that's the only reason why when I do write, I write. I've not been good about making time for it lately, but like I told Hellie the other day, I wrote four pages the other day. That's gotta count for something, right?
I haven't given myself a deadline. I like to float free of those things. I have enough of that crap at work and even though someday it's my dream to actually finish a novel and get published, the big enchilada isn't what I really dream of- it's really the story and entertaining myself and proving to myself I can do it.
I think a lot of authors are great inspiration, but Pamela Clare is who I think about the most when I think I don't have the time or can't do it. It took her 6 years to write her first novel and she's absolutely amazing. I want to be just like her when I grow up to be a writer. She shows me that hard work and perserverance and raw determination are sometimes the only thing that gets you through the rough spots of doubt and despair.
I'm cracking up at the though of Amishness. Every time I think of it now I'm reminded of the T-shirt, Hellie. lol
It seems a bit quiet today.
Glad to hear that you will restart the motor with a short Terri!
I think that short stories have been the poor relations for far too long and there could be a market opportunity to change that.
Everyone seems to be on a tread mill, trying to churn out page after page, and the bookstalls are sinking under the weight of it all.
Connoisseurs like you and me look for those hidden gems. A short story with a message or a set of stories with a theme. All of them short enough to be read before bed thus triggering fabulous dreams.
Think of Conan Doyle and the Holmes detective stories.
and there are many anthologies of Sci Fi shorts.
The P G Wodehouse humorous books can be read like a set of short stories with a theme connecting them I think.
Erotic writers also tend to keep it short I believe, but haven't read much of that.
Anyway with your business qualification I expect you to seize the chance, wherever it may be! 8)
I like this idea of a short story. Maybe we should go on a short story writing excursion for July.
Do I have a disciple?
Sin, some of your delightful blogs have contained very short stories (flash fiction?).
I think thats why I like them so much. :D
I love connected bits of short stories. Fritz Lieber did it with the Grey Mouser and Fahferd series. The Sanctury series was a set like that, too. Tho written by different authors.
It would be fun to look at short shorts... I did a whole package of short erotics to leave with the DH when I went on a cruise a few years back. Five pages each...12 of them. One for every night I was gone. It was fun to really limit the 'story' that way.
Read a comic that made me think of you today, Q! Little girl talking about a 'pre-conceptual scientist' One who reaches a conclusion before doing research, then simply dismisses anything contrary to his preconcieved notions. Yeah, I know! Blasphemy! But funny... Non Sequitur by Wiley. Made me think of Friday's blog...hee, hee!
Q, I'm a little too rogue to be a disciple. LOL
I write cause I like putting down all the stories and characters I have running around in my head... and to see if I can do it - come up with a beginning, middle and end (HEA) that is coherent and makes sense. Will I ever stop? I doubt it. Do I give myself a deadline? No. Do I care if I ever get published? No. I don't do it for that. It's more of a personal goal and what I do in my spare time to have fun!
I'll be like Chance - after they bury me they'll find short snippets spewed all over my computer, thumbdrives, discs, CDs, whatever the current technology of the times happens to be.
I don't think there is anything that could happen that would make me stop. Any time I've shown stuff I've written, I've received positive feedback and that's always a good motivater!
Oh, and Terri, I'm with you all the way on the softball woes! Coaching ain't for sissies!! You have my permission to get that printed on the back of your shirt!
*grin*
Chance,I think Paul Dirac, one of the founding father's of Quantum theory, once said that if the experiment doesn't agree with (his) theory, then do another experiment. He didn't have much of a sense of humour but I think that might have been be one of his rare jokes!
When Rutherford found him fiddling with experimental equipment, he famously commented "It augers well for theoretical physics when the Lucasean professor of mathematics is prepared to get his hands dirty!"
When Dirac was contemplating refusing the Nobel prize for his work on Quantum Mechanics, because 'he didn't want the publicity', it was Rutherford again who persuaded him that he would get even more publicity by turning it down. He accepted!
British scientists can be a funny bunch! :lol:
Sin said "Q, I’m a little too rogue to be a disciple. LOL"
OK Sin, You can be the disciplinarian *grin*
Do I get to carry a whip?
Course you do Sin
Someone has to keep Terri's nose to the grindstone. :lol:
*cheesy 80's jump in the air* Y-E-S! Sign me aboard!
Kitten with a whip...uh oh.
Running away now!
Q - I do like the idea of avoiding publicity that way. A scientist from the old school...who believes the science "is" the reward. Good for him!
Irish - I HAVE to make that shirt!
Don't be bringing me into your twisted little games. LOL!
Sorry, had softball practice today. We thought today that we'd have to forfeit our last game due to not having another players, but as of right now, we're still good to go. Two games left and not a win yet. And it's not looking good. *sigh*
Sin - I'm up for kicking out a couple of short stories in July. We'd be happy to have others join us. *hint hint* Irish, Chance, Q?
Terri, I read your blog early this morning. Your questions have been nagging at me all day. Of course I’ve been avoiding writing a response all day because that’s what I do… Please refer to rule A under Julie’s rules for Julie Writing. Which can be found under Hellion’s ABC’s of Writing Blog.
I am a Conversationalist. I love the sound of words spoken out loud. The intimacy of voices entwined in intimate discourse …. Ha! Tell me that you’re not Tempted to CALL someone after reading that! Besides. I don’t type. I peck. Yes. I know you’ve suspected for years that I’m a Pecker. It would be so nice if you’d just call. Ask me my opinion… Oh wouldn’t be nice if ... Is it just me? Or do I sound like a Beach Boy song.
For me, writing is not about the Characters. Nor is it about the written Words. It is about The Spoken words. The spoken words that chance or fate will not allow me to share with the people I want to share them with. So I Need to write the words I wish to speak. I write them down because I Must. I have no choice. That is What keeps me going. That is my fate. God help me. I’ll deny it. You know that I will. But yes … that makes me a writer. Are you happy now? Go ahead and laugh. I won’t be insulted. I’m laughing at me too. I can’t help but laugh at myself. Because Its so ironic funny even … Because I swore that I wouldn’t write. And for fifteen years I didn’t write a thing. Not a letter. Not a card. Nope. Because when I finished writing out all of the thank you notes after my oldest daughter’s funeral
I swore
that I was done
writing letters.
Then fate stepped in. And god threw me a curve ball. Its ironic. And funny … really … because the truth is, Terri The Joke is on Me. The thing that I swore not to do became the thing that I Had to do.
I tell this story, not to bring you down. But to bring something to your attention. Don’t try to fool yourself into thinking that you can walk away from what you do. If you are here. On this site, then there is a 99.9% chance that you are a Writer with a capital ‘w’. It is who you are. It is what you do. And if you try to walk away from who you are… then God help you. Because God has a wicked sense of humor. Fate has a way of catching up with you. And Life has a way of beating the crap out of you until you come to your senses and accept who you are.
So who were you meant to be?
If you are here. On this site, then there is a 99.9% chance that you are a Writer with a capital ‘w’. It is who you ARE. You are A Writer. Embrace it.
And I ? I am embracing the fact that I am a Conversationist who writes… or am I a duckbill platypus (that’s for you, Chance) ? Which makes me …. that .01% of the 99.9.
Oh yes. As far as feedback goes? I get a lot of … silence.
;)
I'm here! Nothin' wrong wit' being a conversationalist who writes. I be a blatherer who writes.
Still makes ya a writer...
And aye, God be a wicked task master.
Julie - You'll be proud to know that in the last six months, I've come to say I'm a writer with no hesitation. Through everything from school papers to things for my job, I've realized I'm a writer whether I write a Romance novel or not. Even if I never wrote anything else ever again, I'd still be a writer. It feels pretty good to finally feel that way.
Now, I'm also a conversationalist. Just ask Hellie. If you and I ever get a chance to sit and talk, it could be DAYS before we ever come up for air. Let me put it this way, for eight years I was paid to talk all day. And in eight years, I never ran out of things to say. :)
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