Thursday, August 25, 2011

Arrrrrf Matey!



Today is National Dog Day.  I don't know what that means, exactly, but I heard it on NPR so it must be true.

I'm hoping my Pug, Basset Hound and Maltipoo don't know about it, or they'd be dropping hints about filet mingon marinated in peanutbutter and cat treats.  Anyway, it got me to thinking.  You never see a dog on pirate ships in the movies.  Why is that?  You'd think a dog would come in useful on a pirate ship.  Especially if it had one of those casks of rum around it's neck.

Sure, we have an undead monkey.  And I would never want to give up the undead monkey.  But it isn't National Undead Monkey Day.  It's National Dog Day.  So, I think we need to consider what kind of dog this ship should have.

Different breeds would have different uses - although any breed should be big enough to carry the aforementioned (and extremely necessary) keg or rum around it's neck.  We could have a sight hound, like an Afghan or Ibizan - they could spot land and other ships.  The Afghan's hair would be a problem unless we let it go to dreds.

A giant mastiff or rottweiler would be useful in combat.  And they have those big, bicycle seat heads that would hold a huge tri-corn hat rather nicely.  A scent hound (like my basset) could be trained to sniff out rum on any ships we plunder.  And their big, square feet would help them stay upright on deck.

I'm going to have to draw the line at chihuahuas though.  They simply aren't strong enough to hold that cask of rum.

I think we are all going to have to give this some serious consideration...

Happy National Dog Day!

The Assassin

19 comments:

Maria Zannini said...

Oh, great. Now I'm gonna have to get my boys their own tri-corn hats. You're right. Rotties have the perfect size head

Marnee said...

Hmmm.... It's fine if you guys want to have pets on the boat, but I'm not on pooper scooper duty. I don't care what you say. I wipe enough butt all day and deal with enough poopin'. I'm respectfully declining.

I don't know what breed would fit our needs. A Golden Retriever? Maybe we could train it to carry drinks on its head.

My youngest loves animals. He stops and waves at all sorts of wildlife. Not just dogs. Rabbits, ducks. Random birds sitting on my mailbox. It's lots of waving. And he looks up at me while he waves like, "look Mom! It's little and it moves! HI animal!!"

Leslie Langtry said...

You just fling the poo into the sea. It's perfect! And I know what you mean, Marnee, if it's breathing and remotely cute, they want it.

Donna said...

I'm fine with dogs on the ship as long as I'm not in charge of their care. Heck, I'm busy enough making sure the Hotties are happy. :)

I love your idea about the rum cask though. Like of like a drink "room service" feature. Mmmm.

Bosun said...

There's a dog in POTC and it gets around. Gotta be on one of those ships now and then. Or else how did it get to that island?! There's also a dog in the animated Sinbad movie, which I adore.

I'm all for a pooch pirate. I vote for a Chow mix. Awesome watchdogs, very territorial, strike fear with one growl, and incredibly affectionate with their owners.

Hellion said...

I want a mutt. Preferably like one of the mutts like my friend Erica has. Nakira is so mutt we have no idea what she really is, but she's adorable. She looks a bit German Shepherd, but Erica did the DNA test on her, and not a bit German. *LOL* I think she did have a bit chow. *LOL*

I am fond of Whippets, but I doubt it would enjoy being a pirate ship dog. *LOL* Nakira would love it. So long as she saw a rabbit occasionally.

Brenda Novak said...

That pirate dog pic is one of the funniest I've ever seen! LOL Thanks for making my day.

Brenda Novak said...

This is one of the funniest pictures I've ever seen. LOL!!

Donna said...

Eeek, my comment had all kinds of craziness in it. I swear I hadn't hit the rum already. Of course, that's how I type when I haven't consumed enough caffeine. *sad face*

P. Kirby said...

Speaking from experience, sighthounds, while lovely and one of my favorite dogs, are weird. Strange. Peculiar. Fussy. Fragile. Drama queens. *Looks at greyhound at her feet.* "Yes, I'm talking about you." They're also lazy and unmotivated so don't count on them doing much guard duty.

While they may not be able to haul a keg, I recommend something sturdy, like a Jack Russel or a Heinz 57 mutt. Shelter mutts are awesome! And smart. And tough as nails.

Happy National Dog Day.

Sin said...

That pic is funny but that dog does not look amused. lol

Happy National Dog Day to all the dog lovers.

Leslie Langtry said...

Mutts are great - I've had a few and they live forever. One lasted 17 years and the vet was stunned.

Janga said...

I'm always in favor of adding a dog to a household, a book, or a ship. My suggestion for the pirates is a Portuguese water gog, a breed bred to be at home on boats and in the water. They're also fun, affectionate, and highly intelligent. Hey, that description could apply to the RWR crew as well, although we might have to eliminate some pirated from the affectionate category. :)

Janga said...

Another oops! The last sentence in my first post should be "Hey, that description could apply to the RWR crew as well, although we might have to eliminate some pirates from the affectionate category."

And can someone tell me why my smilies end up in the middle of a sentence instead of at the end where I place them?

2nd Chance said...

Let's go with something dashing...a nice big foxhound! Big enough to haul some rum, scent hound to alert us to anyone attempting to board and short hair, easier to care fer.

Though really, a nice mutt would be good. We need one that is good on 'is feet so the pitching deck won't be a problem. And we can teach 'im to do his duty off the deck...

I'm not telling Bonnie it's national dog day.

Okay, I will. And I'll take her on a nice long walk!

Leslie Langtry said...

A mutt with really big feet who can carry enough rum for the crew. I think we might be talking about a kangaroo.

Bosun said...

LOL! That's going to be a long sailing to pick up a kangaroo.

Janga - No idea! It's a quirk with WordPress or the template or something. Sometimes if you enter a couple times then put the smiley, it will work, but even then it butts in on the next comment down.

You can't expect everything on this pirate ship to work correctly. Or work at all for that matter.

2nd Chance said...

Kangadog? Dogaroo?

Hellion said...

Strange. Peculiar. Fussy. Fragile. Drama queens. *Looks at greyhound at her feet.* “Yes, I’m talking about you.” They’re also lazy and unmotivated so don’t count on them doing much guard duty.

I knew I was a greyhound! A really, really chubby greyhound.