I’ve been staring at the current chapter of my WIP for weeks now, or more likely, ignoring it because it’s so blessedly bad that I don’t even want to bother figuring out what the issue is. I mean, I’m supposed to be in Adam’s POV. It’s HIS turn. He’s supposed to fail; Eve is supposed to empathize with him. Why isn’t it working, damnit? Why can’t I just vomit it out, get to the end, and revise all this crap later? That’s the goal!

 

So while I was doing my daily procrastination, reading the new Romance Writer Daily online newspaper, I saw this article: http://fictiongroupie.blogspot.com/2011/07/there-is-no-such-thing-as-writers-block.html. And it was a brilliant reminder of things I knew to be true, at least unconsciously. Only said better than me.

 

But the part that got to me was this line: “it leaves your subconscious writer telling your conscious writer that you made a mistake.” The reason it got me was because it says YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS WRITER. My subconscious is running the show here. Now, I’m not against the supernatural (not saying my subconscious is either super or natural, but you know what I’m talking about—the Woo-Woo stuff), but I rather resent the fact that my subconscious fully expects me to listen to him when he says, “You fucked up, dumbass. Figure it out and try again.” I’m supposed to trust this voice—and I admit it, I know I did something wrong—but the subconscious is not feeding me any information other than I’m wrong.

 

My subconscious fully expects me to trust him, but he doesn’t show me the same courtesy, and instead operates on a “need to know basis” where I apparently don’t need to know shit. Other than I’m wrong. Do you see why I’m so annoyed by this office procedure?

 

If my Director at work came in and said, “Hellie, I need you to fix the last thing you did. You know, clean it up.” And then gave no instruction about what he was actually looking for or the direction he actually wanted it to go or even specified the part he wanted me to fix, I would light him on fire. Oh, I’m not kidding. He’d be kicked out of my office so fast with his ears ringing, he wouldn’t return until he had specific instructions and an offer to buy my lunch for the rest of the week for the trouble he caused me.

 

Unfortunately I can’t do that with my subconscious: he just disappears, never apologizes for his vague and unhelpful remarks, and never ever buys me lunch. When I do figure out what the problem is he says things like, “That’ll do, pig.” That’s right. My subconscious sounds like James Cromwell.

 

How does anyone work like this? I know the saying about writing is like driving at night. The headlights only shine a few feet ahead of you, but you can make the whole journey that way. I mean, I know that, but it makes me insane. I want a little more information than that. If I have to trust my subconscious, then by God, I expect my subconscious to have a little trust in me and stop talking to me like some Buddha Yoda who wiggles his ears and says, “The bamboo stalks bends during monsoon season.” Come on!

 

There is a lot of trust involved in getting your book on the page, but the trust feels very one sided. I need to trust the process. I need to trust my subconscious. I need to trust my instinct. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. (Yes, my subconscious also sounds like Yul Brenner from the King & I.) I just want my subconscious to trust me a little and stop acting like sharing any information with me is breaking his pact with the CIA.

 

Does anyone stall out like this and realize you made a “mistake” and you fix it and move on? Is your subconscious more informative and trusting than mine? Do you have any tips for charming an untrusting subconscious? Anyone got any other Woo-Woo tips that help them write? (P.S. Bo’sun, if you tell me this is like the death conversation and I don’t need to know, I will mail you broccoli in revenge.)

P.S.S. I saw Crazy Stupid Love this weekend and it was BRILLIANT! Best rom-com I've watched in a long, long, long time. Hilarious and heartbreaking...and Ryan Gosling with his shirt off. Yummy. There were twists and turns I didn't see coming, hysterical.

[caption id="attachment_4697" align="alignnone" width="225" caption="The Vigilante! By a very young Leslie Langtry"][/caption]

I know. You're disappointed. Sorry.
Today, I took my son to my uncle's comic book store for the first time since he was little. I don't know why it took me so long. I spent a lot of time in that place as a kid.

I come from a comic book family. My father and his baby brother, Tim, loved comic books since they were kids. My dad introduced me to Golden Age DC as a kid. Everyone in the family had their favorites. Mine, of course, was Wonder Woman. (Duh!)

We went every Saturday as a family. My job was selling the coney dogs in the back. I even indirectly met my husband through that place. It was awesome.

So today, I took my 11 year old to Tim's Corner. Uncle Tim talked to him about comics and Jack managed to relieve me of my oh-so-unwieldy money.

I, in turn, showed him the picture of Vigilante I drew for Uncle Tim in 1983, that he STILL had on the ceiling of his shop. That was so cool. He just shrugged. Sigh.

So I have this idea. We need a Pirate Chick comic book. I think this crew should come up with a pirate comic, featuring the crew of terrifying, hard-drinking, kraken-owning crew - sailing the seas and looking for rum, loot and smoking hot cabin boys. The order of these things is irrelevant.

I think it could be HUGE. We just need an illustrator who could draw us all with tiny waists, long legs and huge breasts...

What say you?

The Assassin

PS - the knitted praying mantis goes to Hellion. I'll start on the kraken once I finish Paris' book. Um, do we have ship colors?

Bo'sun adding Assassin's Kraken pics. (We have to get one of these!)



 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are these the coolest things or what???

 

I’m in the dreaded middle of my book.  I’ve got 55K words in my Word document right now.  It goes up or down according to what I cut or put back in on any given week.   But it hovers somewhere around there and has for a while.

Part of my problem is that I’m revising stuff I wrote over a year ago.  It still works, theoretically, because the plot has remained the same.  But in reality, most of it isn’t working.  The characters have changed so much that I spend a huge chunk of time tweaking and reworking their behavior.  Most of the time I wonder if it wouldn’t just be easier to write it from scratch.   Sometimes I do.

What makes something “not work” though?   I’ve been asking myself this

question repeatedly the past two months.  I’ll read stuff that I wrote a while ago and I’ll think to myself, “Nope, that’s just not right.”

Not right.

I can’t always tell why it isn’t right but I’ll know that it isn’t.  It just doesn’t have that WOW factor.

You know what I mean.  We’ve all read those books that do everything right.  The plot has the requisite amount of conflict, ends with a HEA.  The characters move through the motions of the romance.  There are no plot holes and the author’s turns of phrase are interesting.  Perhaps there are even chunks of well constructed description.  But the book is just good.  Or, afterwards we go, “meh” and put it down, promptly forgetting what it was about a week later.

It wasn’t that it wasn’t a good book, but it just didn’t sparkle.

When I read my stuff, sometimes I see stuff that feels right.  It’s not as often as I’d like.  In fact, finding stuff that feels right happens much less often than finding stuff that feels just wrong.

Therefore, while I can’t always see if it’s right, I can usually tell if it’s wrong.

But why is it wrong?  Part of it, I think, is that I fight the constant desire to write the boring parts.  One of the cardinal writing rules (*ahem*) is that we shouldn’t write the boring parts.  Apparently I struggle with a lifelong tendency to be boring.

What else makes a story go wrong, though?  What do you think makes a story just go "meh" at the end?   What do you think gives a story “sparkle?”  Is it characters, not enough action?  Lack of description?  A stilted voice?  Maybe starting in the wrong spot?

Pour some glittery hoohas, girls!  We’re talking sparkle today.

Okay, I know we hash this out over and over, but I want to take off a bit on something the Bo’sun covered a few weeks ago. Extrapolating on something I realized during her blog…

Of all the authors you read, as far back as the first books…which of them do you wish you could impress? Dead or living, no reservations. Who would you like to read you and write a favorable review? Or write you a personal fan letter, debating some aspect of what you wrote. Or better yet, admitting they wished they’d thought of that!

I mean, I recently dug into some of my old mass market paperbacks to unearth a bunch I realized were the inspiration for what I write. And I thought, “Man, wouldn’t it be great if I impressed this guy?”

Then I realized he was dead, so unless he’s reading in heaven, or nirvana or wherever his spirit went to, that wasn’t going to happen…

Yet…if I could write the ultimate dedication on who inspired me, his name would be right there, on that list.

Who would you like to read your books and give you a wink? (And my apologies to begin with. I will be at a big motorcycle race most of today and won't be checking in very often...sorry! I'll do my best! Please, the bar is open, entertain yourself!)

 

 

 

 

 

Chance sat, staring up at the sails. She’d turn her head and study the clouds, then the waves, then back to the sails. She was waiting. A storm was coming, she could feel it in her bones. But would it be a gentle storm, just enough to send the Revenge on a sweet ride? Or would it be a hard storm, challenge them all to keep the sails taut, make the blood rush to the head, contain a frisson of fear… 

Sin eyed her with some worry. She’d been a moody bartender of late.

 Hellion kept her hands on the wheel, wondering what made the normally congenial woman so fidgety.

 The Bo’sun marched to her, determined to use some common sense arguments to shake her out of the mood.

 But Chance knew, in her bones, that things were set to change. And she wasn’t sure if she liked it the idea or not.

Change. Life is all about change and lord knows, we write about it constantly. It’s the one constant the writer lives by. Be a very boring book to just write one day followed the other and nothing happened.

 (I’ve read books like that. One even won a bunch of awards. Color me perplexed!)

 I like to talk about change as a great thing. But the reality is that I find it terribly intimidating, in the short run. I can focus beyond tomorrow and long for change. For some shaking up of my life, but upset my day to day stuff and I get cranky.

 And I do wait for change with some trepidation. Is it going to be a hard storm? Is it going to be a nice soft rain? Will the next port be pleasant, full of inexpensive drinks, stores that carry my size and flirtatious cabana boys? Or will it be sorority sisters, Diamonds International and $12 glasses of sangria?

 In real life, it’s usually a mix of the two. And change is coming, whether we want it or not. It can be the new edits (I’m going crazy waiting for new edits) or it can be they funny noise the car is making, or the budget ax, or the massive shift taking place in publishing right now… (This is driving me a bit bonkers. Chatted with my agent earlier this week and the e-publishing world is in such a flux! Hard to set goals for the next few months, let alone next year!)

 I don’t know what I’m sensing at present, but my eyes are on the sails and I’m paying attention to the air on the back of my neck.

 I’d an exciting time, it’s a frightening time, it’s a time to feel alive and be aware. I mean, what if you woke up and two odd things were sharing the bed with you?

You'll see what I mean if you follow this link...

As for a question of the day? What changes excite you when it comes to being published? Or reading?

 

 

Musical Influence(s) this week:  Ephemeral by Gemiinii Riisiing

 

 

Wow. Long time no blog pirates. Thanks to the new line-up I've enjoyed a nice long break from over thinking.

 

Since I've not been blogging, I've been writing. Somewhat. I struggle from week to week on which story to work on. My adventure/suspense heroine, Kiki and her “hero” Dex have been quite talkative lately. So has the heroine's BFF, Tory. So I've been working on that story. While in the midst of writing, I started to think about how my writing processes have changed since I started writing 5 years ago.

 

I've always just winged it. If I didn't know something, I did research right then and there on the spot to incorporate it into what I was working on. If I didn't know the proper terminology, I made it up. If I was unsure on a characterization portrayal, I worked with what I could do and edited it later. I've always written from chapter to chapter. Edited from chapter to chapter. Writing continuously feels...

 

Strange.

 

But I also feel like I've lost my enthusiasm and spirit for writing. Don't get me wrong. There are days I stand on top of my desk with my fist clenched in the air swearing I will writing until my fingers fall off. But I get caught up in all these rules floating around in my head when I sit down. The rules beat down my spirit and my lackluster attempts to sparkle fall short. So I decided I'd do something I never do. Reread some of my old writing to recapture the feeling I had in the beginning when writing was still shiny and new. Let me tell you, it was quite the eye-opener.

 

While I've always known my beginning attempts at writing fiction were a bit jumbled and plagued with mistakes, even reading just a couple of paragraphs made the writer I am now sad. I'm a different person now. I'm a different writer. What I really mourn is my ability to write descriptions. Write the scene detail by detail until you feel like you're standing in the middle of it all. I miss that. I need to recapture that. So I want to do an exercise today. Take one of the pictures below and describe it to me as if I'm unable to see it. Write a short paragraph about it. 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been doing this on my own and it's helped me get some of the missing link back into my writing. Good description is work, but it's good work and it gives our readers a sense of belonging in the story. (Or at least for me, as the reader, it does.)

 

And if you don't want to describe the picture, tell us what's changed about your writing style since you got started- the good and bad. Good luck everyone! And have some fun.

 

Okay, so my agent and publicist have been after me to put together some romance trading cards for my books…and I’ve been putting it off. Mainly because, let’s face it, I’m never going to find a picture of a hot looking 65 year old pirate to represent Captain Silvestri, let alone a 53 year old short plump pirate woman to stand if for Emily.

The world just isn’t stocked full of photos like these.

I can’t imagine why.

;-)

Now, I could have worked on some RTC for my shorts. But…really bodacious women with bright blue short hair are in short supply. As are nice hunky guys with tourmaline hair.

(What is it about me that envisions the totally non-standard H/H?)

Now, I could just go with my covers…and in fact, my publicist is working on a set for me that will use the covers while I debate buying a manipulate-a-photo bit of software so I can ‘create’ what I want.

I mean, I didn’t want to use stock photos that would misrepresent my characters. Don’t need frothing mad readers coming after me for that! (Already have a few a bit nonplussed by my use of cursing already!)

 Really, are romance trading cards just a passing fancy? Or will they be around for a while? I have no idea. But I do love what the author Dakota Cassidy did. She put together an author card that is wondrous. She has a great front of a cartoon Cassidy and on the back, her standard smoking/drinking/tiara wearing/smeared mascara self. On the back? Lies. Many wonderful lies that she admits to even as he makes them. If you click on the image you can see the lettering better and read the lies...do it! ;-)

I want to make an author card. I’ve already been badgering Robert Quill regarding the coloration of the one he did of me as my bartender self, asking for permission to make an author card with it. And am considering the many lies I want to tell on the back of it.

Dakota lies about her age, her weight, etc.

I want to lie about other things. Thought I’d make up some wonderful awards, ala the Tortuga Seal of Excellence for Pirate Perfection…The Kraken Prize for the use of tentacles to promote peace… Maybe a Grammy for Emily’s Cursing Sea Chanty…



So…what lies would you like to portray on your RTC/author style? It’s Friday, I’m gonna be in and out all day, let’s play!

*Captain Jack Sparrow saunters onto the darkened set of Hero Hot Seat, glancing around* Where did everyone go?

DRD: Shhh, don't say anything! Maybe he'll go away.

Captain Jack: I heard that!

DRD: *stands up* We're not doing a show today, Captain, so you can take a long walk off a short pier. Shoo. Nothing to see here.

*Captain Jack saunters over and notices DRD's got company* Helloooo, lovelies!

DRD: Ignore him and he'll eventually go cause harm to a hero—Wait. We don't have a hero today. Maybe if I do the intros he can go cause destruction somewhere else. Captain, this is author Leigh Michaels.

Captain Jack: Enchanted. *lifts Leigh's hand toward his lips, smiling seductively*

DRD: I believe you were on shore leave the last time Leigh visited us. How's that rash doing, by the way, Captain?

*Leigh yanks her hand back from Captain Jack's grasp*

DRD: And this is Lady Stone, who plays a very important role in Leigh's newest book Just One Season in London, which was released July 1.

Captain Jack: A lady, you say? *wets a fingertip and smoothes it across his eyebrow*

Lady Stone: Are you spoken for, young man? *gives Captain Jack an appraising look* Because if not, I've got someone who would be perfect for you—

Captain Jack: *leans in, very interested* Does she have her own ship?

Lady Stone: *chortles* Oh no! You won't have time for a ship with this woman. You'll be staying in port all the time. In fact, we'll need to get you cleaned up--chop off those silly braids, and wipe off whatever you've got smeared around your eyes. We will have you presentable and respectable in no time--

*Captain Jack races offstage, screeching and setting a new land speed record*

DRD: Thanks, Lady Stone. That was brilliant. *raises hand to high five* *thinks better of it and motions to nearby chairs instead* This is even better than a Hero Hot Seat episode, since it gives us a chance for some fun girl chat. Leigh, maybe you could start by telling us a little bit about your latest book.

Leigh: Just One Season in London features the Ryecroft family -- Viscount Ryecroft, his beautiful sister Sophie, and their mother, the still-young Miranda. If Rye could find an heiress to wed, he could not only save the family estate, but also send Sophie to London for her first season. If Sophie could just land a proposal from a wealthy man, she could afford to help her brother out of his financial straits. Their mother would do anything to financially secure her children’s futures, even entertain an unconventional offer from an old friend. But to do that, they need Just One Season in London – which Lady Stone helps them to achieve. The three stories, and three romances, are interwoven in a comedy of errors as the Ryecrofts realize how devilishly difficult it can be to marry for money.

DRD: And Lady Stone, you figure quite prominently in this story. I know you are considered a secondary character—

Lady Stone: *sniffs* Secondary? That's hardly accurate. *glares at DRD and Leigh*

DRD:  *gulps* Well, when I said "secondary", I meant of course "second to none".  "The character that holds the entire story together". *holds up teapot* Would you care for a refill, Lady Stone?

Lady Stone: Why yes, thank you. *puts hand to forehead* Although I'm feeling a little dizzy all of a sudden.

DRD: *winks at Leigh* This "pirate tea" affects some people that way. It's like getting your sea legs, though. You'll be used to it in no time. *sneaks a little more rum into Lady Stone's teacup* Maybe you can tell us more about your part in this story. There were several storylines to keep you busy.

Lady Stone: I'd love to, but I might need to lie down for just a moment.

*Captain Jack pops up next to Lady Stone's chair* You are very welcome to share my quarters. It will give us a chance to talk about other potential females you have in mind for me. Ones with really large. . .ships.

DRD: *yanks Captain Jack's collar until they are nose to nose* No funny business, okay? They haven't signed a release yet.

Captain Jack: *frowns* It's as if you don't know me.

DRD: *watches Captain Jack lead Lady Stone offstage* *turns to Leigh* Maybe you could tell us a little more about Lady Stone's role, in both books.

Leigh: Lady Stone made her first appearance in my first historical, The Mistress’ House, where she was a gossipy friend of the family. She also appears in a Regency-period short story I wrote called Wedding Daze.  She likes to be at the center of the action, where she’s usually tugging at a string just to see what she can unravel. Or in this case, what she can pull together.  She offers to host the Ryecrofts for the season, introducing Rye to heiresses and making it possible for Sophie the beauty to meet eligible men – to the dismay of Lady Stone’s faithful companion, who’s actually the one who gets stuck with the work.

DRD: Did you plan this? Or did she take over, as some characters can do?

Leigh: A little of both! Lady Stone is fun to write because she’s old enough and wealthy enough to say exactly what she thinks and do exactly as she likes. She’s abrasive and cynical and funny, but I didn’t realize for a while that she’s also a romantic at heart. So she came to life on the page. She’ll also make an appearance in my next historical, The Wedding Affair, which comes out in September…

*Scuffling noises can be heard offstage* *Stage curtain billows several times*

DRD: Not again. *drops head in hands*

*Lady Stone stalks across stage, her fingers firmly gripped on Captain Jack's earlobe, dragging him towards the chairs*

*Captain Jack attempts his most winsome smile, hands clasped prayerfully*

DRD: Okay, while I try to figure out exactly what happened here. . . Pirates, what questions do you have for Lady Stone? I know Leigh is likely to have lots of writing treasures to share with us, just like last time, so feel free to ask all kinds of questions! And one lucky commenter will receive a free copy of Just One Season in London (U.S. only, no PO Boxes).

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Leigh Michaels (www.leighmichaels.com) is the award-winning author of 83 romance novels, including sweet traditional contemporaries and spicy historicals. With more than 35 million copies in print in 25 languages, she is a six-time RITA finalist and received two Reviewers Choice awards from Romantic Times magazine. She is the author of On Writing Romance, which has been called the definitive guide to writing romance novels, and teaches romance writing at Gotham Writers Workshop (www.writingclasses.com). Her latest book, a July release from Sourcebooks, is Just One Season in London, which RT Reviews gave four stars and called “a veritable feast.”

July is shaping up to be my month. Let me list the reasons why:

 

1.)  I am taking this awesome class at Lowcountry RWA called M&Ms for Characters: http://lowcountryrwa.com/online-workshops/. It. Is. Going. To. Be. Epic. I just know it. Besides I do the worst motivations for my characters. Pretty much any advice is going to help me.

2.)  Harry Potter is coming out on July 15

3.)  I’ve taken some vacation days for myself, just because, in July, mostly around that Harry Potter stuff, but no matter: TIME TO MYSELF.

4.)  Independence Day is the coolest American holiday ever—even better than Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about carbs, football, and poultry, but Independence Day is about baseball, fireworks, and beef. I’m an Independence kind of girl. Eat a hamburger, watch Pujols hit a homer, and smile as the fireworks light up the sky. (Okay, so Pujols hurt his hand. Shut up.)

5.)  Rumor has it that editors are looking for contemporaries.

 

So for these reasons and others, I’m titling this month: FREEDOM TO WRITE in honor of our Founding Fathers who wrote down all those brave and very important things we have in America. Freedom of speech. Freedom to assemble. Freedom to pursue happiness.

 

I challenge you this month to plop your happy ass down at your computer (with your hamburger—lean beef is great protein) and start following your bliss. It’s constitutional, baby. And as we all know,  those who don’t use their freedoms, lose their freedoms.

 

It is my right to sit at this computer and write a love story about two flawed but wonderful people and announce to the world that I believe in Happily Ever Afters…and I believe in love. July is the month to pursue your bliss, and if writing is your happiness, you should too.

 

So what are your plans for July? Any e-courses you’ve taken lately you’d recommend?  Favorite topping on a hamburger? What do you plan to do to celebrate FREEDOM TO WRITE?

P.S. To all those serving in the military and are protecting my liberties and my pursuit of happiness, I thank you. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY.