Saturday, May 21, 2011

Comment Winner for Week Three of the “Where Did the Kraken Go?” Contest


Well, the Kraken has been sighted so many places and I’m pleased to announce for the most part, none  of these sightings consisted of his eating anyone. (Though any inner critics are always welcome, fair writing pirates!)

Bodes well for him making it back to the Caribbean without the National Guard in hot pursuit. Yes, from helping students cheat, to lending a hand with sandbagging the swollen Mississippi, he’s been good. I know terrorizing a sushi bar owner who had no idea how much the beast could eat on the employees eat free buffet isn’t really acting the humanitarian…or cephalopodarian…but he’s doing well!

I expect him to get back with an extension postcard collection and he better bring me a shot glass from every place he’s visited!

Now, the sighting that had me the most excited was from Amanda Woodward, who reported second-hand that a friend called her with a sighting… After reading my ode to Jethro Tull on the Daily Dose of Decadence, she posted an alert. 
Wow, Maureen, after hearing the story I may owe my friend an apology! You see I thought she was picking on me. I just received a phone call from her, she was at Starbucks and claims to have seen the Kraken serving as barista. She said he was working window, counter, grinding, steaming, and blending ...She said when she spoke to the manager he said why hire 5 employees when 1 Kraken does the job better and will work for fish. If I get "crackin" I may be able to get over there and catch him.

Alas, I hurried over to my local Starbucks but he was gone before I got there. The manager said he was a great worker, but the complaints of slime making the cups slippery and the ensuing lawsuits from spilled hot coffee meant he had to go.

Amanda wins a gift card from Amazon for her studious attempts to help me find my kraken!


I personally think he’s in a funk since he wasn’t brought back for the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie, On Stranger Tides. I mean, they brought back Barbossa from the dead in the third movie, and Jack…and even Will! But not the kraken! If they do a fifth and the villain in part four returns, I fear the kraken may disrupt filming and eat the director.

I mean how much is a cephalopod supposed to take?

Only nine days left in my contest and multiple entries are encouraged! Where do you think my kraken is? Enter here! Or here all week! On Monday, here! On Tuesday, here! On Thursday, here! And if you post a sighting on Facebook, I will count it!



Amanda Woodward said...

Yay Maureen thank you so much!!! Don't worry I will keep trying to help you locate that wayward Kraken... I may have a lead...

2nd Chance said...

I'm counting on you Amanda! And yer welcome!

Donna said...

Too bad the kraken couldn't use some Slime-B-Gone so he could keep that barista job. LOL That would keep the line moving!

Marnee said...

You know, Mo, if the Kraken disappeared yesterday, I might have thought he ascended.

But, since he's been gone all month, I guess he probably got left behind like the rest of us.

Bosun said...

That's a lot of here here's. Sheesh. LOL!

My theory on why he isn't in POTC4 is that he had conflicting schedules with filming Clash Of The Titans. He does play prominently in that one, no?

I'm guessing he used his exhorbitant film salary to while away his spring in Paris. That's what I'd be doing given the choice.

Amanda Woodward said...

Maureen my dear I am passing through the central plains of the U.S. today. I was passing a corn field and saw this enormous scarecrow! Then as I watched in astonished wonder a testicle whipped out and snatched a passing black bird out of the sky!
I believe that farmer failed to explain the definition of SCAREcrow to our dear Kraken. I hope his diet sticks to pesky blackbirds, or we may have to post bail. I imagine the fines for munching songbirds mound up quickly when you have several limbs snatching the hapless creatures out of the air!!!!!

2nd Chance said...

The Kraken might have ascended...for the Cthulhu End of Days...but not yesterday.

Someone really should invent slime be gone, Donnaroo!

The Kraken in Paris...I can see him, climbing the Eifel Tower, tourists scattering in his path... Do the French have a National Guard?

;-) Amanda...a scarekraken... Well, I'd stay outta the corn!

Amanda Woodward said...

As far as POTC4 goes I believe that the effort it took to keep so many enormous egos fed was just to much of a strain on the budget to allow for the feeding of a Kraken. Therefore left at odds and ends our friend decided to research other roles no actor likes to be type cast. Least of all as a mindless virgin munching ship wrecking villian.

Amanda Woodward said...

Slime be gone? Salt works well on snails!

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, but salted coffee just isn't nice!

Bosun said...

Wow, either Amanda has one whopper of a typo in there, or the Kraken's one helluva guy. ;)

2nd Chance said...

OMG! I missed it until you pointed it out! Hee, hee!

Well, I do write about him for a reason! ;-)