Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sun Salutation: Recalibrating My New Year's Goals and Bringing Back Yoga

Clearly I didn't know what to title this beast. I apologize.

There is nothing more difficult than resuming something you used to be good at and realizing you are actually worse than the first day you ever did it at all. Once upon a time, not that terribly long ego, I took a yoga class. I had wanted to for quite some time because I thought it would be soothing and centering, and quite honestly I thought it might be rather easy. A lot of stretching rather than trying to mimic like you’re trying to run from a bear, which I am completely unable to do. Let the bear get me, that’s my policy on running. But yoga, you pretty much stand in one place and stretch around. That, I foolishly thought, was a piece of cake.

“OMG,” I panted at my best friend a half hour into my first class, alarmingly red in the face, “I thought this was supposed to be relaxing!”

Being that it was our first class and we were rather late to show up, the instructor had put us at the front of the class, so not only was I sucking at an alarming rate, my pride was forcing me to keep going because I didn’t want to lay down and die with twenty people artlessly assuming positions behind me, making all this look like child’s play. By the time we got to the last pose, aptly named Corpse Pose, I was hooked. I would return.

It was a good thing that the next class was three days later because it took two days before my muscles recovered enough to attempt another class. I kept going, week after week, and slowly I began to see results. I could stretch deeply and lower; I could hold poses longer; I wasn’t alarmingly red through most of the poses any longer.

Now for one reason or another, none of which are interesting enough to recount here, I stopped doing my yoga classes almost a year ago; and it shows terribly. My posture, which isn’t the best to begin with (think Jack Sparrow walking down the street), would make a Marine aghast; my back hurts (always a sign I haven’t been exercising enough); and I’m neither centered nor relaxed. Miserable. I’m absolutely miserable. I’ve bought yoga videos, but it doesn’t have the same feel of going to a class, cool and dark, and being instructed by someone you trust and who corrects you gently if you’re not doing it right. That class of people is my tribe. We all move in sync; we all greet each other merrily and talk about how brilliant the class is. It’s sorta the difference between going to church versus studying the Bible at home alone. You can still find God at home if you study diligently, but there is something necessary about meeting with the group. Something reassuring. Something that makes you put in your best effort.

Granted that’s probably just me. There are those who go fishing every Sunday and commune with God just fine, but where exercise is concerned, I’m enormously undisciplined and need group stimulation. I’m suspecting the same is holding true with my writing. J.K. Rowling was able to sit in her little house, read aloud bits of her famous series to her sleeping infant, and never socialized with other writers about the trials of writing. She just sat down and did it. How I wish I were this type of writer, but you know what they say: if wishes were horses….

Friday I made myself stick in a yoga DVD (I’ve only got three or four of them) and practice. Horrendously out of practice. However, doing the bends and stretches felt good. I swear I could feel my back decompressing and lengthening just in the few minutes of stretches I did. Invariably, within about ten minutes I didn’t like where the class was going (since when are there lunges in yoga?) and I lapsed into doing some of my favorite poses instead: pigeon, staff, spinal twist, and tree. It wasn’t a long practice; and it wasn’t remotely my best practice—but I had practiced. And laying there in corpse pose at the end, my spine and lower back felt practically giddy. It was good. Saturday morning, I had delicious aches in my muscles, the kind I got after my first day of yoga and I relished each twinge. Then I went into the living room and did another half hour of yoga practice. Low key, of course, none of the lunges, but a few warrior poses which I normally dislike. I want to keep it up, even if I only do it 10-15 minutes a day. I need the stretches and the breathing and the calm.

I suspect it is going to be like this with writing again. I’ve been putting it off and the less I do it, the more out of practice I feel. Whatever the equivalent of a backache is, I have it writing-wise. I know I could cure it if I just got back to writing, even if it was just a page or two a day. I get hung up in my head that everything I contribute isn’t as good as when I was practicing at the top of my game, and it’s certainly not as good as everyone else’s in the class. (Never compare yourself in a yoga class. You’ll only upset yourself.) Worst, here I am showing up to class and my best friend is here too, all thin and firm from all her diligent yoga work, and I’m shoddy and crap. (Never, ever compare yourself to your best friend. About anything.)

It’s almost time for New Year's resolutions again and it’s time to think about the ones I had for this year. Which ones I met. Which ones I still need to meet. I was doing pretty decently the first three months with exercising and writing, then things fell off, as New Year’s goals are wont to do. July passed with practically no exercise and absolutely no writing (unless you count the blogs). August came and went, bright and shiny, and now it's Thanksgiving and I'm no closer to anything than I was January first. WTH. But the year ain't over yet. Time to get cracking, princess. I have six weeks to get something done. Specifically WRITING.

So here’s the end-year goals: more writing, more yoga, less comparison, less eating, and have more fun writing like I used to.

Is there anything you used to love doing that you don’t do anymore? Anyone else fond of yoga? Favorite poses? Any New Year’s goals you stopped doing after a few months (or days) that you’d like to try again now? Anything you're thankful for? Like the fact I didn't write another Harry Potter blog (movie was great, by the way--I'm still just trying to recover from the weekend and couldn't write about it.)

44 comments:

2nd Chance said...

*stands behind the bar, in total shock

No Harry Potter?

Yoga?

Who are you and what have you done with our Captain Hellion?

Sigh.

Oh, if you insist...I loved the gym. I loved the weight training and the yoga...and I had every intention of starting up at a gym again. Today in fact! But after a weekend of dragging my ass all over SteamCon II (which wa AWESOME, BTW) I have to admit that the Bo'sun is right. My bout with shingles may be visibly over, but I am deep in the belly of the beast known as fatigue...

It's gonna happen, but I need to talk to a doctor about how to start up without doing some real damage to my body.

Yoga might be something I could manage...if I stick to floor exercises and stretching only! And I always like the warrior poses! ;-)

Quantum said...

Only time I stretch is when I get up in the morning.

Though picturing all you beautiful ladies rolling and stretching in your leotards cheers me no end. :lol:

Helli, the world is full of 'driven' people. They drive me nuts at times.

You need to stop worrying about stuff. You're young, gorgeous and a barrel of fun (when you're not enthusing over HP that is .... unless it's the sauce!)

By all means practice more yoga. Try it as an aid to meditation.
Write only when you feel inspired.
And above all .... keep smiling.

Thinking of being out of practice. In the summer I attended a church fete and couldn't resist bowling at the vicar who plays cricket for the 'evangelicals', to try and win a bottle of wine. It's years since I turned my arm over in anger and I'm hopelessly out of practice. I tried one of my famous leg-breaks, but the ball spun out of control, high into the air before dipping right onto the vicar's head! :oops:

He staggered back and trod on the stumps, so technically I had bowled him out and should win the prize ....... too embarrassed to claim it!

Moral here? Perhaps old codgers like me should know when to retire gracefully and not hanker after past glories.

Course none of this is relevant here! :lol:

Chance, what's SteamCon II ?

Enid Wilson said...

I used to love camping but I don't do it anymore, for the lack of partners. But I do exercise, a short 30-minute walk by the river near my office. It's very good for the soul. I find that I can work and write better after the walk. I think it's much easier than doing yoga! Give it a try.

My Darcy Mutates

Hal said...

I tried to go back to my pole dancing aerobics classes after six months away. Yikes! Not only was I generally too out-of-shape to keep up, but I couldn't remember half the spins, and looked so awkward and ungraceful doing it, it was pathetic.

But I'm with you. I have to have the class. I have to have the fear of social humiliation to propel me forward when it comes to things like exercising.

But I've found the same to be true with writing -- that if I don't do it, I get all out of practice, and the harder it becomes. My year-end goals? To keep revising! I gotta get a move on if the final version of this novel is going to come together before this baby shows up.

Marnee said...

Though picturing all you beautiful ladies rolling and stretching in your leotards cheers me no end

Q, you're too sweet. Because the thought of my post-baby body anywhere near a leotard gives me the chills. :)

I love yoga. I'm exactly like you. I don't run, not unless I'm being chased and still then not very fast. I don't like to sweat. My sister runs marathons and she says that the more I run, I'd get a high. Frankly, I think she smokes something before she does these things and that's why she's high. Cause that whole runners high thing never made sense to me.

In my infertility escapades, my doc required I work out regularly. I guess he caught my cringe because he suggested I do it like I would take a pill. That's how I see working out: like taking a pill. I know it's good for me but it's not something pleasant.

Resolutions. Huh. This year I'm chocking up to a big loss. Having a baby and then taking care of an infant has totally thrown my groove. Things are starting to relax a little so I hope I can get back into the habit really soon.

Oh, I love downward facing dog. Stretches my back. Ahh... feels sooo good.

Hal - good luck with your revisions!

Chance - feel better hun. And I hope you're blogging about SteamCon this week and I hope you took pics. :)

Hellion said...

I know, 2nd, it's quite weird. But you'd understand if you realized I wrote this blog a while back, never posted it, and then tweaked it to debut now. This has been one heck of a weekend. Actually the last week and a half has been wild.

I understand that when you take time off to sit around and do nothing, you want it to be YOUR idea. You don't want it to be because you're ill. That's no way to spend time off. Resting is not the end of the world, my good woman. Everyone could use more sleep--just like we could all use more water. So drink some more water and get some more rest--and chill out. Your book will be there when you're refreshed and it'll be better for it when you are.

Incidentally can anyone explain to me why people come to WORK--where there are other people--with the flu or something like it and will be complaining about the symptoms IN THE ELEVATOR with you and all you can think is WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE? "Oh, I think I'll take off tomorrow if I continue to feel unwell." Really? Never put off tomorrow to sit home with your germs what you can do today. Take some Nyquil, put in a movie, leave us healthy people alone.

Hellion said...

Q, we're like a Denise Austin/Jane Fonda video, aren't we? *LOL*

No, Q, it doesn't mean you shouldn't play cricket with all your youthful abandon--I bet you that vicar deserved a ball in the head. *LOL* And I so would have collected my bottle of wine--though I probably would have poured the first glass for the vicar. *LOL* As my Deerhunter would say: Go big or go home. It sounds like you definitely went big. *LOL*

Janga said...

I'm glad you didn't blog about HP, Hellie, since I had to postpone my movie plans to work on these [expletive deleted] articles. Hearing about the movie would have left me more depressed. My only goal at the moment is to make that December 1 deadline.

I need to start walking again. One of the ladies in the SS class I teach was talking yesterday about how much energy her morning walks give her. An octogeneraian, she puts me to shame.

So, if I substitute more walking for more yoga, I'll adopt your year-end goals--just as soon as I complete these articles.

Hellion said...

Enid, welcome aboard! Have a rum!

I think a walk (especially outdoors in the fresh air) is wonderful for the writing experience. My favorite professor in college--who published some really strange fiction by the way--used to swear by running. Of course, I think he just liked running, but he said doing the daily run would clear the cobwebs and troubleshoot the writer's block.

There is a walking trail near where I live; I've always thought about doing daily walks. :)

Hellion said...

Hal, see that would be me EVERYDAY in poledancing class: humiliating and pathetic. I only say this because I was dancing this weekend and looked humiliating and pathetic. Not that I cared too much. I'd had some tequila.

It was a good weekend.

*crossing fingers* Good luck with the revising and the baby incubating!!

Hellion said...

My sister runs marathons and she says that the more I run, I’d get a high. Frankly, I think she smokes something before she does these things and that’s why she’s high.

I'm right there with you, Marn. They must be as high as fucking kites. Actually, I'm going to lay odds that's it probably the influx of pure oxygen that's making them that weirdly giddy. Though if I wanted a rush of pure oxygen, I'd think there are some less exercise required ways to get it. Hell, even some deep breathing during yoga would be almost the same--but maybe do your yoga outside in the fresh air. It's all about the fresh air, I'm convinced.

That or they're just plain crazy. They're probably just plain nutters. You're right.

I'm the same way with exercise: it's a pill. But damn, I do notice when I'm not doing it. I'm miserable! *LOL*

Hellion said...

Janga, your discipline is possibly the trait I most admire about you (though I admire many more traits as well!) HP will be there for you when you get to go. It was well done, I thought; and I'm really glad David Yates did the directing again. I rather like his directing style; and the last few movies have felt more cohesive because he's directed them.

Maybe a morning 15 minute walk would be just the thing to help with your articles. :)

Oh, and I'm well aware of octogenarians who put people to shame--my dad is one of them (88 and more spry than 2 of his 3 children. I think I might be more spry, barely, but definitely don't have his discipline.)

Bosun said...

Very good blog. So good, it had me considering yoga to help my back. Then I remembered how much I don't like yoga, and the thought went away. But that's still good.

I'm totally with you on all of this though. For exercise, I keep saying I'm going to get back to the pilates, which I love. And which does use some yoga moves. But I've decided to switch it up and try some kettlebell stuff. I've found the kettlebell (5lbs - I'm a WUSS!) and now I'm on the hunt for the perfect beginner DVD.

Oh, quick funny story. In looking for the kettlebell at Wally World, kiddo wanted one of her own to work out with me. I didn't want to spend that much money, so I told her I'd buy her this other set of soft balls. Yes, I came *this* close to buying my 11 yr old a set of soft balls. As soon as we realized what we were saying, the both of us stood there laughing our asses off in the workout aisle.

But I still think the balls were a good idea. You could get a really good grip on them and they were the perfect weight. Weight is important in balls you know.

Now that I've taken this to a place it never should have gone, I'm going back to work...

Bosun said...

Okay, I lied. I forgot to mention the writing stuff.

So, it seems I'm only good under pressure. I need to send off the GH entry beginning of next week and it's no where near done. The synopsis is almost done though, so that's good considering a week ago it was barely started.

I want major revisions done to this MS by Dec 31. December will be all writing all the time. That's the plan. Should probably work on a backup plan, just in case.

Sin said...

Ah, I miss the days of yoga together, Hells.

I have Sue's whole routine memorized in my brain. It's one of the GPS and I's goal to get back to doing yoga once a week. I'd like to do it three times a week if possible and get back to running every day.

I love child's pose (I really think it stretches the lower back very well) and sun salutation, half moon, eagle and a few others but I make up names for them that I can remember. lol

My next year goal is to get Kiki's two other books finished and revised in time for next year's GH. I have a pretty important scene to squeeze into the first book that I'm going to work on today, but I've already hit 50k in NaNo, so I will probably start going through the beginning and find a way to insert this scene so that it flows naturally. I've already started to cut out information that came too soon with no reason behind it and I still have the final scene to finish.

Hellion said...

Bo'sun, you know you want to do some yoga. (Incidentally Deerhunter said he wouldn't be against doing yoga. He's got the stamina and strength for it, but I imagine he just wants to watch girls be all bendy.) Yoga is good.

But I like your writing goals!! Kick some ass, woman!! And you'll have some days off, kid-free and quiet, to write-write-write, or in your case, revise-revise-revise. :) The all important 2nd draft Hal wrote about. (Still loving that blog, btw.)

You'll need to do it BY Dec 31, because you should take your BIRTHDAY off and party it up.

Hellion said...

Sin, I think I could almost do Sue's routine from habit, though I accidentally forget some of the beginning ones. It's okay, it eventually works out. And I can almost hear Sue in my head, doing her soothing talking bit about breathing deeply, aligning ourselves and how this one hour for ourselves will make us better for the other 23 we're with other people.

I'm so proud of you for kicking ass this month and blowing your 50,000 words out of the water! You go!

Scapegoat said...

Hellion - I'm a total yoga lover for the exact same reasons. I'm so not flexible and any time spent away from yoga results in almost instant loss of any flexible gains.

I had touch and go expereinces with yoga until I discovered Ashtanga Vinyasa Flow - somehow it all clicked for me then and I loved it. It's been weeks since I've done it and I can totally tell.

Goals for this next year: FINISH THE DAMN BOOK! Edit, send for critiques/beta readers and then submit the damn thing.

I'm also adding joining RWA and my local chapter to the list.

Add to that trying to futher develop the online critique group I just joined and find 1 or 2 local authors to just talk writing with every so often.

Oh yeah, and start one of the 15 new book ideas I have. :)

Scapegoat said...

Oh and Pirates - I'm going to be in Key West for Thanksgiving and look what I found...

http://www.piratesinparadise.com/

Now I just need to convince the hubby and steal away from his family.

2nd Chance said...

Q - SteamCon II was a weekend convention for steampunk enthusiasts.

(I can hear the next question, "What's steampunk?")

I heard that debated a lot this weekend and I'll blog about it. One of the best panelists at the con has a blog that debates it all called steampunk scholar...check it out! Might help explain. Or not. It'a very convoluted topic!http://steampunkscholar.blogspot.com/

Should I blog about it this Friday? It's black Friday, I assumed no one would be around. Votes?

2nd Chance said...

Oh! Sin! I've heard of this gathering... GO!!!!

Scapegoat said...

Chance - there's even a Sea Writer's Symposium! Totally thought of you when I read that. :)

Irisheyes said...

Great Blog, Hellie!

I'm right there with you on the yoga! I used to go to a Park District class with my mom when my kids were little. I felt bringing along my 70+ year old mother would shame me into participating whole heartedly. It actually worked. I've since moved and decided to try to get back into it on my own but I miss the instructor up at the front guiding my every move. It is very relaxing to clear your mind and just do whatever they tell you to do. No thinking or decision making involved at all. I loved it! So I switched to just walking around the neighborhood - which is coming to an end soon. Weather.com is telling me it is getting very close to my hybernation time.

My priorities have changed a lot over the past few months but the one thing I really want to make sure I put first is the yoga/walking. I, too, don't see the added energy or see the immediate benefits but I'm thinking it is because I just haven't stuck with it long enough. That seems to be one resolution I'm content to keep making and breaking and making and breaking...

Donna said...

Great post, Hellion. Even when we know what we *need*, it's hard to incorporate it in our lives, because it often involves more effort than we want to give. LOL

It does seem harder to get back into the writing when I've gone more than a week or so. It's one reason I wanted to do NaNo, because my "first draft" muscles felt out of practice. And I hadn't written any historical stuff for a while, so it took a while to get back into the 19th century (even though 21st century verbage keeps sneaking in there!)

It feels good to write every day like this--it also keeps me distracted from other things that worry me. Now if I can get my body to do the exercise thing every day, I'll be happy. I know I feel better when I do it--it's just so much easier to NOT do it. LOL

Hellion said...

Goals for this next year: FINISH THE DAMN BOOK!

Scapey, best goal ever! *LOL* I'm borrowing this goal for my own. *LOL*

I wish I had 15 great book ideas! *LOL* I seriously don't! *LOL*

Hellion said...

I miss the instructor up at the front guiding my every move. It is very relaxing to clear your mind and just do whatever they tell you to do.

This is so it exactly, Irish. Man oh man, I want this again. I've had other instructors, but Sue was honestly the best at it. You wanted to follow her. She was very trustworthy. You know, like a great author--a great author can bring you into ANY story and you'll love it, even if you hate secret alien babies by CEO virgin secretaries.

Hellion said...

Donna, my first draft muscles are so out of practice, they're nothing but flab. Maybe I need a Jillian of the Writing World. "You think you've been writing?! Get back to that keyboard! Get back to that keyboard! TYPE! TYPE! TYPE!"

It'd be horribly frightening, but I bet I'd write. *LOL*

2nd Chance said...

Hellion, I might write with her at my back...but it would be about the many ways to see her dead.

Bosun said...

You would not write with that kind of writing drill sergeant over your shoulder. You would turn and deck her, throwing in some choice (not so lady-like words) and stomp off.

Of this I'm sure.

I'd just deck her without the extra cursing.

Donna said...

Hellie, have you tried Write or Die by Dr. Wicked? I know some folks that say it works for them. The tagline is "putting the prod in productivity". I think it keeps you typing along, and threatens to erase what you've written if you dilly dally. Google it and see if it would be beneficial for you.

Oh, and I think I'm officially done with the holidays. LOL I was at Trader Joe's to get a few things and it was a ZOO. At 1:30 p.m. THREE days before Thanksgiving. WTF?

2nd Chance said...

Ah, if I could slide out of traveling for Thanksgiving, I'd gladly stay home and order pizza. I have an entire season of Fringe to watch...

Donna, that sounds like a terrible, evil program. I like it!

Quantum said...

Chance: Should I blog about it this Friday? It’s black Friday, I assumed no one would be around. Votes?

I would read it! We have our harvest festival much earlier in the year.

A quick sprint round the web gave me the gist of steam-punk. There is even a UK steam-punk blog.

Very appropriate in the land where the coal fired steam engine was invented!

2nd Chance said...

Q - It's a fascinating 'not-quite-a-genre' genre. And the convention was phenomenal.

Okay, I'll blog about it on Friday, just for you, sweetie!

Donna said...

I'll be around to read it too, Chance. We can have a mini steampunk convention. LOL

Bosun said...

Oh, but I don't know if she wants to switch, so I probably shouldn't have just put that out there but I did so it is and if she doesn't want to, no biggie. LOL!

I'm totally out of it today.

Bosun said...

I've suggested Chance blog about the conference tomorrow then I can do something unimportant (like all my blog topics) on Friday. I'll be here at work, probably bored anyway.

2nd Chance said...

*blushing

Sorry, Scapey... Terri just pointed out to me that you found the Key West pirate fest. Let me say, again... GOOOOOOO!

I've read of this festival and it's really impressive and fun. What a fabulous way to spend the holiday... ;-)

2nd Chance said...

Terri - Sure, I'll switch!

But stop with that "do something unimportant' stuff! You have to work on Friday?

Bosun said...

Though Lowes is selling a Christmas tree CHEAP that day and I kind of want it. Must figure out if I'm willing to get up before the buttcrack of dawn and get it before work.

Bosun said...

Yep, I'll be working. We don't close the office and I don't have any vacation time saved up. It'll be a blow off day but maybe quiet enough for me to get stuff done without much interruption. That would be nice.

Hellion said...

Hellie, have you tried Write or Die by Dr. Wicked?

I have heard of this! Unfortunately I'd rather someone just yelled at me until I cried and went back to my keyboard. I mean, I delete enough stuff on my own to have someone else doing it for me. What if I actually wrote something brilliant? I mean it's never happened, but it doesn't mean it couldn't happen.

Hellion said...

I agree with 2nd (that so rarely happens)--and Bo'sun you need to stop downplaying your blogs. You're just as brill as the rest of us. So shut up.

Hellion said...

How cheap and which one is it? I have a Charlie Brown artificial tree and I've been wanting to replace it for a couple years now. Not sure how badly I want to replace it, being I'm always really broke this time of year. Or pretty much all year. (Damn tequila drinking!)

Bosun said...

It's a 6'5" prelit tree that is usually $98. They're selling it for $38 this weekend, but I'm sure if I don't get it early Friday morning, they won't have any left.