Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Rakes to the Left of Us, Pirates to the Right: Fabulous Interview of When Jack Met Kieran

*camera zooms to a deli shop/restaurant, oddly located on the ship; enter deli to find Captain Jack Sparrow and a pretty young woman seated next to him. They are seated at a round table in the middle of the busy restaurant, where others are eating*

JACK: *spreading his arms wide, welcoming* Welcome, crew, to another edition of Fabulous Interview with Captain Jack Sparrow. Today, I have with me the delightful and beautiful Kieran Kramer, whose debut book When Harry Met Molly is blazing up the charts….

KIERAN: *blushing* The book just came out yesterday, Jack.

JACK: The power of positive thinking, luv. *holding up the book* I have no doubt it’s blazing as we speak. Look at the cover. What a pretty little minx she is. Is she available? The things she could do with that fan….

KIERAN: That’s Molly. She's an impulsive young lady prone to saying the wrong thing and finding herself in a pickle. She never thought, for example, she'd feel any sort of attraction for Harry, her childhood nemesis.

JACK: I’ve found myself in a pickle a time or two myself. We’d have lots of discuss. *pauses as if he finally realizes another man has been mentioned* Pardon me, are you saying she’s not available? Not even a little? What is it with you authors, parading minx after minx under my nose, but never letting me meet any of them? They can’t all be taken. Sure, sure, she *tapping at picture again* had an “intended” sure, but how secure is that really? It’s not the same as a marriage license and a brood of children, is it? *waves book* That guy in the background knows it. I’m sure of it. Who is he anyway?

KIERAN: Lord Harry Traemore, the nemesis I was telling you about. The hero. He doesn't think he's hero material at all. But he most definitely is. He needs a good woman like Molly to remind him of that fact.

JACK: *scowling* Heroes ruin everything. Ah, but I see that look on your face. You writers are all the same. All in love with your heroes. You think they’re all so special. But are they captains of their own ship, I ask you?

KIERAN: *laughing* Does "captains of their own ships" mean the same thing as "masters of their domains?" Sure sounds like it! If you're a Seinfeld fan, Jack, my handsome hunka pirate man, you'll know what I mean. (wink wink) And, um, you might want to ask Harry about that. Ask him what happened to his sterling self-control when he was sitting in a tree and saw Molly hiding behind the house--naked and looking mighty fine. (hehe)

JACK: Naked you say? Are you sure….

KIERAN: And before you get all puffed up with pride about your OWN self, Jack, as justified as you may be, fine sir, may I remind you that you're not the only commanding man with extraordinary vision? My heroes are, too, if you allow "extraordinary vision" to mean, say, they're committed to having an excellent time about Town and not getting legshackled, especially to a simpering miss. Yes, they definitely qualify. *LOL*

JACK: He might have a pirate quality or two, I admit, but he’s no--*smoldering at the camera*--Captain. Jack. Sparrow. *starts kissing the back of Kieran’s hand* Let’s stop talking about this Harvey fellow….

KIERAN: Harry.

JACK: Right, that’s what I said. Harry. When Harry Met Molly. Why does that sound familiar?

WAITRESS: Here you go. *removing plates from tray* Caribbean Jerk Chicken Deglazed with Rum for the sir; and a large spinach salad with the dressing on the side for the missus. And a double brownie with the chocolate sauce on the side. And a pint of rum on the side as well.

JACK: Oh, yum! *reaching for rum; yelps as he’s forked in the hand by Kieran* Maybe not. I’ll have what she’s having, minus the salad and brownie. Keep them coming. *clears throat* Maybe you should tell us what the actual book is about, Kieran.

KIERAN: Okay, I will, but first, I have to say, our waitress truly got me right. I get EVERYTHING on the side when I go to restaurants, just like Sally in that movie she was in with Billy Crystal, the one that inspired the name of MY book.

In my story, Jack, my dear, when Harry met Molly, there was NO love lost between them. No, sirree. It took a while for them to warm up to each other and become friends. And why, you may ask? Well, it's because they got each other in big trouble when they were younger, trouble so big their lives seemed ruined.  No youthful high jinx for them--they were punished by their families for their "crimes."

So when they both wind up in untenable situations at a remote inn--both of them abandoned by their respective travel partners--they have to work together to save themselves.

And that involves going to a hunt party where a scandalous wager is going on. The outrageous bet, designed to keep all but one of Prinny's "Impossible Bachelors" from the marriage altar, involves a contest between mistresses called "The Most Delectable Companion" contest!! Molly is a virtuous young lady--if a bit impulsive and romantic--so posing as a mistress is going to be no easy feat for her. Nor will it be a simple task for Harry to keep from falling for her charms.

JACK:  That is a delightful tale. Can’t blame a man for avoiding the altar, can you? Is this part of a series of sorts? What’s the next book going to be about? Another fetching minx, perhaps? Did you bring her? What am I saying? Of course not. No one trusts me.

KIERAN: Thanks for the compliment. And yes, my 4-book series is called "The Impossible Bachelors." The next book in the series, DUKES TO THE LEFT OF ME, PRINCES TO THE RIGHT, is about Nicholas and Poppy. It comes out in December, and I must say, I enjoyed writing it. There's a little bit of intrigue,  a lot of mayhem, and sparks flying off the page between the mysterious, much put-upon Nicholas and the colorful character of Poppy, a dedicated Spinster with a capital S. You'll have to read the book to learn what I mean by that. <G>

JACK: *slyly whisking Kieran’s glass of rum as she’s gesturing* That is an engaging tale. I love spinsters. They’re so fun to tumble. *is forked again* Ouch! What’d I say? *scoots chair out of forking reach* Perhaps you should tell us your Call Story? Did I say that right?

KIERAN: I suppose you did! Well, as for my Call Story, it was really wonderful. When my agent wrote me a one-line email saying she was in the midst of reading my story and loving it, I was standing in my kitchen with my husband. I grabbed his hand and said, "OMG." And things happened very quickly after that. It was definitely a dream come true. When my agent called me to let me know if she'd sold the series, I was driving on a two-lane highway out in the middle of nowhere, and I knew any moment I was going to lose the cell phone signal. I almost drove off into a hay field when she actually said she'd sold it. No kidding! And then twenty minutes later, I pulled up into the tiny town of St. George and reported for jury duty selection. When they asked me to stand up and announce my profession, I said, "Professional writer." It felt so good to say that! I'm still incredibly excited to say that. I feel privileged. I'll never lose the gratitude.

JACK: All right, last question before I let you ask questions. You have an option for a lightning round with the crew members (Sin and Hellion) who will bombast you with questions about the CIA and Scotland, or—and I really suggest this option because Sin and Hellion are best handled by professionals—you can tell us the best bit of writing advice that worked for you.

KIERAN: Oh, come on, Jack! What do you think I am, a wimp? Of COURSE, I'm going for the scary lightning round!!! Bring it on!!! While I'm waiting, I'll dance in my new disco loft to Madonna's Greatest Hits. I bought a bunch of cheap floor-length mirrors from Target and tacked them up on the wall in the loft. I have a great sound system up there, too, and I play my old vinyl albums--just to remind me to have fun. ALWAYS. Life is short--play as much as you can get away with!!!

JACK: Most excellent. *tentatively reaches out for her hand to kiss it again, eyeing her the whole time* Is there anything else you’d like to say or ask the crew?

KIERAN: I just want to say...I think you're adorable. And if I weren't married to the most wonderful husband ever, I'd go for you, Jack--after I have a date with Captain James T. Kirk from STAR TREK, then Captain Von Trapp from THE SOUND OF MUSIC, and then Billy Joel and Paul McCartney. You'd be next. Honest!!! XOXO

JACK: *wicked look* Of course, I would be. All right then crew, bring it, you heard her. She’s not scared of a bunch of unruly pirates. What lightning round questions do you have for the fair Kieran?

25 comments:

2nd Chance said...

We gots ta collect these interviews in a book all their own!

Kieran,I don't have a question about Scotland...

*whispers to the side, Were we supposed to research Scotland for this guest?

...but the series sounds great. My sort of historical, lots of fun! Welcome to the ship, care for a cup of my special Regency Rumpunch? I'm the bartender on the Revenge.

Janga said...

I read When Harry met Molly earlier this week and loved it. (It was on Wal-Mart shelves before Release Day.)You had me at the poem in the prologue. Having once been a thirteen-year-old who wrote dramatic poems from an anguished heart (I believe I once used that exact phrase), I loved Molly from that moment. And I loved all the different stages of her relationship with Harry. This is one of those books that friends are going to be enthusiastically recommending to friends. I've already been on both sides of the recommendations. Congratulations on a delightful book that deserves the success I'm sure it's going to have.

I'm always interested in hearing about the writing process. Are you a plotter or an organic writer?

Sin said...

I have no doubt in my mind that Jack knows what to do with a hand fan.

*blinking*
*thinking*
*blushing*

Whew, it's hot in here.

Welcome aboard Kieran! And congrats on the release! Must go out and get this book so when NaNo is done I have a treat!

Kieran said...

Thank you so much for the warm welcome! The rum's smooth, the wind is light, and the company's great!

Janga, I'm glad you liked Molly's poem. And as for my writing process, it's definitely organic, although I try to plot here and there. :>)

Hellion said...

I wish Amazon would SEND my copy of WHMM already so I can read it! And I'm very excited about the positive buzz I've been getting from my fellow reader friends who have already read it and loved it!

I'm the Scottish one here. I would be interested to know what your favorite period is to research in Scotland, and if you plan to write any historicals set in Scotland? Oh, and who's your favorite Scottish "celebrity"? (Me, it's William Wallace. That Braveheart movie really did a number on me.)

Donna Cummings said...

Welcome, Kieran, and congrats for handling Captain Jack so well!

This sounds like a delightful book and since I'm still in "birthday book buying mode", I'm adding it to my list. :)

I'm still grinning at you getting to announce your job as "professional writer". That must have felt SO good!

Bosun said...

Oh, and the "professional writer" bit is awesome. Plus, did you say she's trapped behind something and she's naked? Uhm, how does that happen?! LOL! (In an Historical, I mean. I know how it happens around this ship. ;) )

Bosun said...

Welcome aboard, Kieran! I've heard nothing but wonderful things about this book. In fact, opened my email this morning to a message from a friend saying she was reading it right now and it's hillarious. When you started writing, did you set out to write comedies or is that just how your voice comes out and so you run with it.

I can tell from this interview you have excellent comedic timing. LOL!

I have a super-duper gift card from Borders heading my way. This book is going on the first buying spree list!

Jackie P said...

I have been catching myself for the past month looking for your book and realizing that it wasn't out yet. I am so glad I can finally snag me a copy. Looking forward to the others. The next one sounds like it will be a winner also.

Marnee said...

Welcome, Kieran! :) I love the premise of this story!

It does feel a little like When Harry Met Sally (one of my favorite movies).

I also love when virtuous girls play mistress. So much fun.

Where did you get the idea for your bachelors?

Kieran said...

Hey, this is a rowdy crowd!! Comments flying right and left! How strong were those drinks?!?

Let's see if I can catch up:

Hellion, the fourth book in the series is set in Scotland! Woohoo! favorite Scot: well, Robbie Burns! I was an English major--what can I say? My heart is ALWAYS in the Highlands. But as for modern folk, I like Tom Conti, the actor, and Paolo Nutini, the singer ("New Shoes").

Donna and Bo'sun, I can't thank you enough for your support. XO And Bo'Sun, you'll have to wait until you read the book to figure out how Molly comes to be naked as a jaybird!!

As for setting out to write comedy, well, not intentionally. I just wanted to write a story, but every story I wrote had that zany element. I just can't help it.

I love shows like Modern Family and The Office and anything that highlights the quirkiness involved in being human. That's why I love Mark Twain and Charles Dickens, too.

I'm a people person. I talk to every cashier and bag boy (esp. the 80-year-old ones) at the supermarket. I want to know about them. I'm just a person who likes to connect. I need it, like air. So I'm extra thrilled to be able to connect with readers of my books. ("Thrilled" is too mild a word--flippin' ecstatic!!)

Bosun said...

I knew that was going to be the answer. Drat!

Bosun said...

I just checked out your website and first off, it's so pretty! And then I saw the title of your April '11 release - CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MARRIAGE. These are the coolest titles.

Did you come up with the titles or did the publisher decide to change your working titles and you just got lucky?

Kieran said...

Bo'sun,

Thanks about the website! I love it, too! And that flower up top? It's a magnolia, which is a nod to all things Southern. I've lived down South almost all my life, but I don't have an accent. That's because my mother's from New York City and my dad's from western NY state!

About my titles: My editor and I collaborated on those. I had the first one in place before I approached her. We both wanted fun titles, and it's fun to try to come up with them.

I'm glad you like CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MARRIAGE!! Right now we're working on the title for the fourth book--it's not quite pinned down yet, but soon!

Kieran said...

I would be sorry that I repeated the word FUN twice in one sentence, but I'm not. It's a big word with me.

Hellion said...

Dude, we're pirates. We're all about the Fun.

Donna Cummings said...

Oh dear, Kieran, you think this crowd is rowdy? LOL They're SO well behaved today I almost don't recognize them. :)

I'm hoping you didn't already answer this question (my brain feels a little foggy -- I might have caught a bug yesterday -- and NO, I did not overcelebrate my birthday!) -- what was I saying?

Oh yeah -- what are you working on after this series?

Bosun said...

I'm a Damn Yankee as well! Moved down from Ohio (PA really) 16 years ago and refuse to go back. Though I'm only barely below the Mason Dixon Line these days. I did pick up the accent. That's what happens when you spend 7 years in the wilds of Arkansas. And you spend them as a country music dj. LOL! That twang just sneaks right in!

2nd Chance said...

The punch ain't too strong! It's supposed ta relax the guests

*glances to the side Wait! Damn it, Jack! Stay away from me punchbowl! What did ya add, Jackieboy...do I need ta call the kraken ta the deck fer some discipline???? Well???

Let me toss in more pineaple juice and we'll dilute his contribution.

I love organic writers, I'll all about the organ-ic.

Nancy Northcott said...

Kieran, congratulations on your release! The books sound like a lot of fun, and your post was a hoot. :-)

Di R said...

Great interview, Kieran! I love that you kept Captain Jack in line.

I have heard great things about this book. It is on my tbb list for this weekend.

Di

Sin said...

I love organic writers, I’ll all about the organ-ic.

*grin* Agreed.

Quantum said...

Humorous romance is totally irresistible for me!

As Janga rates your book so highly Kieran, its gone straight to my 'Buy Now' list.

Is it possible that we are witnessing the birth of another Sophie Kinsella or even a new Jennifer Crusie? 8)

I can't wait to find out!

Trouble is I have to wait until Dec 6 to get my hands on it (Amazon UK). :cry:

Kieran, will it be available for download to UK customers in due course?

Sin, If it's organic then "the answer lies in the soil me dear!" *grin*

2nd Chance said...

Why does Q saying soil make me want to giggle?

Kieran said...

I've been gone ALL afternoon! So sorry! But great to come back here and read all the new comments.

So (blush) this is a tame crowd, eh? Why do I have trouble believing that???

Donna, you asked what I'm working on after this series. I don't KNOW. Sigh. I haven't had a chance to think about that yet. I need to get through Book 4.

Quantum, I'll email my publicist at St. Martin's tomorrow and ask him what he knows about the UK and how things work over there. I promise I'll get back to you!

And I'm totally flattered by everyone's kind, supportive comments--I already knew Nancy was a fabulous person! Hi, Nancy!!! (throwing kisses)

I never mentioned that I hung out on sailboats a lot as a kid. I've scraped barnacles off their hulls, varnished railings, reclined on booms to read, and crouched on the chain beneath the bowsprit while we were sailing through the choppy sea. And no kidding--dolphins would be swimming right by me. I could see their sleek bodies barely beneath the surface.

There's something about the sailing life--the people who love it are live-in-the-moment kind of people. I admire them their ability to cast off--literally--and sail away from their troubles on land.

I hope all of YOU have a way to reach that good place inside where you forget your cares! Reading does it for me, and so does writing.

This has been a lot of fun. Thank you SO much for chillin here today with me, and I'll check back one more time tonight to see if you REALLY get crazy according to *YOUR* standards of crazy.

Hugs to all,

Kieran :>)