Monday, July 26, 2010

I Write Like....

Invariably I’m drawn to internet articles like a moth to a flame; and one particularly boring work day, I exhibited some moth-like behavior by pouring over news articles like old people pour over obituaries, on the lookout for something exciting or titillating.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/07/20/i.write.like.authors.website/index.html

Huh, I thought, Kim Kardashian can write? When did this happen?

Well, then I immediately needed to know what famous author I wrote like. I hoped it was someone good, like Mark Twain or basically any of the people but James Joyce. I plugged in a few paragraphs of the current manuscript, and I got Margaret Atwood. Nice. I can handle that.

Of course, I wasn’t satisfied with just one response. I needed to know if I inserted another bit of my writing I’d get the same answer. (Positively scientific of me, I know. I’m just as shocked.) You’ll be scandalized to know that I did not get the same writer. In fact, I used the same bit of writing, but restricted myself to three paragraphs instead of five or six. This time I got David Foster Wallace.

Who?

I’m no longer bored because now I have to Wikipedia the guy to find out who he is. Hmm, not bad. He seems to write in a more satirical vein, so that’s flattering; however, he was also very depressed and hanged himself. I hope this isn’t something you can catch. By now, I’ve enlisted Bo’sun in this game, and she reports back to me that she got Stephen King.

“What did you use?” Because seriously, nothing Bo’sun writes is scary…or particularly psychological. Well, not freaky I'm-a-serial-killer psychological at any rate.

“My Christmas story I’m sending to Women’s World.”

You can see why I’m getting really suspicious at this point. Bo’sun’s CHRISTMAS story is like Stephen King to this thing? I start taking out all the stops. Excerpts from my first completed manuscript (horrifying, I thought for sure Stephen King on this one)—nope, I got Ian Fleming. The James Bond guy. Now that’s rather hilarious. A different piece of the same manuscript and I got William Gibson (Mr. Cyberpunk of Science Fiction. Riiight. My stuff screams sci-fi. I’ll be sure to put that in the query letter.) An excerpt from my historical novel says my writing is like Mary Shelley—that’s nice, that means I have a historical voice then, right?

Actually I don’t really want to write like any of these authors. Bo’sun said the Atwood comparison was nice. “You’re a feminist.” Yes, I agreed, but I also write like that Wallace guy. A feminist who wants to hang herself, apparently. Clearly I’m not satisfied with any of these comparisons, mainly because none of the authors I got were authors I admired. What I actually want is a database of romance novelists’ works, and then I plug in my stuff and see who comes up.

Here’s my list of authors I’m hoping would come up and say my writing is similar to theirs:

1.)  Julie Garwood: I love her ironic cliff-hanger one-liners at the end of chapters. I do that now because of her (at least I try to be ironic). Rest assured that’s the extent of the comparison. I'm no good at suspense...or hot, stoic heroes. Men of few words. My men babble unfortunately.

2.)  J.K. Rowling: A wild hope for obvious, sad reasons

3.)  Sophie Kinsella: If I can’t be J.K. Rowling, I want to be Sophie Kinsella. Only the American version, that is if we Americans can be as remotely funny, ironic, and clever as her British version. I don’t think we can, but it’s my endeavor.

4.)  Jennifer Crusie: I want to write her characters, but without the pets. Neurotic, ironic, plagued by awful family members—it’s like reading about myself really, but with far better endings. And lots of dog hair.

5.)  Lisa Kleypas: awesome characterization, phenomenal sex. I’m as likely to be compared to her as J.K. Rowling, but I had to add her.

6.)  Stephanie Meyers: I’m only including her because clearly her novels are compelling and who doesn’t want to produce compelling novels? Exactly. Plus I suspect my heroines sound just as whiney as her Bella, so there is a good chance this is an author I’d be compared to.

7.)  Laura Ingalls Wilder: You got me. Not a romance novelist, but really, J.K. Rowling isn’t either, and since I already cheated once…. Besides the woman was my idol all through my childhood and most of my teen years.

8.)  Eloisa James: Yet another author I haven’t a prayer of being matched with—my vocabulary consists mostly of 4-letter words, unfortunately—but damn, wouldn’t I do a dance around my work station if the computer made that mistake of linking us?

I could keep this list going for another four or five days. There are so many romance novelists’ works I wish I’d written or I could write as good as: Teresa Medeiros, Anne Gracie, Linda Lael Miller, and Jude Deveraux just to name a few.

So while I’m hammering away at my manuscript, trying to be myself, but in a Sophie Kinsella-Jenny Crusie-Stephanie Meyers sort of way (think of it as a homage), what authors would you die of bliss at having your stuff compared to? Whose work do you frequently finish and go, “When I grow up, I want to be like her?” And while everyone is in Orlando, what are you reading this week? Anything good? My TBR pile is shrinking and I need some suggestions. Eloisa James' new novel is out TODAY and I'm getting it ASAP. I wonder if I can leave work early today??

117 comments:

Donna said...

This is great! I am probably the only one on earth who DIDN'T do this survey, so I'm glad you've come up with one.

I would be in absolute heaven if my books were compared to SEP or Ms. Crusie. In fact, a million years ago when JC was first writing category romances, I remember thinking, "THIS is what I'm trying to do". At the time, everything was very angsty, which I enjoy reading, but my writing. . .not so much. LOL I also wouldn't be upset with a comparison to Teresa Medeiros and Julie Garwood (for my historicals -- LOL).

Today I'll be buying the new Eloisa James, the new Loretta Chase, and the new Suzanne Brockmann -- the last should hold me over until her next (and I suspect final) Navy SEAL book is out in Jan/Feb. The one out today is non-SEAL, but I'm sure it'll be worth reading. :)

Brynna said...

I'd love to write like Lisa Kleypas or Judith McNaught or Nora Roberts or Anna Campbell or . . . well, I guess you don't really have all day. LOL. I love surveys, so I'll be checking this one out.

My TBR pile is still teetering, but that won't stop me from getting Eloisa James's book, Tessa Dare's Three Nights With a Scoundrel, and Candace Camp's Scandalous today. :)

Scapegoat said...

I did hear that they found there were only like 6 authors loaded into that thing, and only one was female.

I'd love to be compared to Vicki Lewis Thompson, Katie Macalister and Victora Dahl. I'm sure there are many, many more but right now those are the three I'm trying to channel in my writing.

Brynna said...

Okay, I kinda like mine: I got "I write like Margaret Mitchell." :)

Julie said...

I Really want to get my hands on a copy of Eloisa James’ book too. And Chase's latest ... and ...

Julie said...

I found it rather funny that the piece written by The Supreme Court is written like: "The Da Vinci Code" author Dan Brown!
So the Supreme Court writes stuff full of mystery & intrigue& and words full of secret meanings?

I imputed a bit from my FB page about my life going to the dogs.

According to the Qizzerator-thingie I write like
Gertrude Stein ! Ha!

Gosh I thought that it would have said that I write like ...
The Supreme Court!

Hellion said...

Donna, WHAT? The Seals are coming to an end? They're ICONIC. (Okay, I didn't read those books, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one who didn't. But you can't stop writing about SEALs. You can stop writing about CEOs and sheiks and billionaire bad boys, but not SEALs.)

My favorite category by JC is Manhunting, which I think puts me in a minority, but I thought that book was a riot. She makes it look easy...I like to hang out at her blog and be reassured that she is mortal as the rest of us. :)

Hellion said...

Brynna, of course we have all day! Half the blog world is traveling to Orlando. This is our day to eat chocolate covered strawberries and wax poetic about great authors we wish we were more like. (Sure, sure, we *could* be sitting at our desks and writing in order to attain such greatness, but eating the CCS and gabbing is far more fun.)

Great choices. And great choices on the book front too. I plan to get the Tessa Dare book as well--I'm really impressed with this new trilogy. The woman is a definite rising star. I think Candace Camp wrote some books in the early 90s I really enjoyed--very angsty, Dorothy Garlock-like angst--I think one of the books was called Heirloom and I cried and cried all through that book. That book left as much a mark on me as the Lisa Brown book, Billy Bob Walker Got Married (out of print, but worth the hunt--another writer I want to be more like, stunning book).

Donna said...

Hellie, I'm just speculating that they're coming to an end, based on a book signing she did here last summer. I think this is book 16 or 17, and they have at least three story lines in each book, plus they keep story lines going from other books. She's truly amazing, and I could see where she would be worn out, or tapped out of ideas at this point. If you want to know how to do close 3rd POV, she's a master at it.

I loved Manhunting too! I think I've got the original around here somewhere. (I know, I say that a lot, but one of my August projects is to FIND all these books I packed away years ago!)

Julie said...

Now I'm really laughing ...

Just imputed part of my Cracker Jack note from my FB page. The results of analysis of my text?
I write like: Margaret Mitchell?!
Okay ...
So
I suppose that I better go and umm ... Gosh, I'm torn. Write the Great Avant Garde American novel or do laundry?

Hellion said...

Scapegoat, I think there are one or two other women in the thing. (I'm somehow doubting it's half and half, my cynical side wagers, but I think there are more women.) I got Margaret Atwood; you see below that Brynna got Margaret Mitchell. My student worker--and I don't know how she managed this because I began gnashing my teeth when I found out--got Stephanie Meyers. At one point I even got Mary Shelley, so there are at least 4 women loaded into that thing.

I love Katie McAlister--she is a RIOT. I wish she'd write more of her YA novels, they were so adorable, but her adult stuff is very funny too. Her dialogue is awesome. And I know Vicki and Victoria are known for their snappy dialogue and humor as well. :) Good choices!

Hellion said...

Julie the Great and Iconic Feminist, well, we knew that was true. Not a surprise you were compared to Gertie. I don't think the computer would dare compare you to the Supreme Court--that's the be-all and end-all, the infalliable, and no one wants to put that sort of power in your hands, Jules. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, you know. No telling what your Wonder Woman self would do!

Hellion said...

one of my August projects is to FIND all these books I packed away years ago

And the HOA prevails!

Hellion said...

Write the Great Avant Garde American novel or do laundry?

Ha! I was right! You should be a writer!!! I want to read your GAN! The laundry can wait...

Sin said...

I've got nothing today. I mostly want to hide underneath my desk and pretend I have a new car. My car is killing me. I'm going to let the Undead Monkey poop bananas on it. I'm going to go cry now from frustration.

Marnee Jo said...

I put in the first few pages of my current MS and got David Foster Wallace too. So, I guess that's ok, since I think I have a satiric bend. I could do without the whole suicide thing though, obviously.

Who I'd like to be compared to? I think pretty much anyone that's already been mentioned. I think if I were to compare my current MS, I'd say I'm trying to fit in with Anna Campbell and Elizabeth Hoyt. Historical set romances with some suspense elements to them. Not the typical "happen in a drawing room/ballroom" stuff.

Julie - Gertrude Stein? That's hilarious. And apt. :)

Sin said...

And, I'm trying to read Sizzlin Sixteen. Had it since Friday. I have read 10 pages. Awesome. I know.

Hellion said...

Marnee, I just read Wicked Intentions over the weekend (I'm guessing it wasn't supposed to be out yet, but no one tell my bookstore)--and it was FREAKING AWESOME. I read it in like a day and was irritated I had to put it down to go to sleep. She creates such great main and secondary characters--I'm just as sucked into the drama of the secondary characters as I am the main ones. It's like watching a very well done costume drama on TV for me.

If I wrote historicals, I would definitely want to be like laAnna or Elizabeth Hoyt. Great stuff. And Anne Gracie--because she can make you laugh on one page, make you wonder in suspense on the next, and make you cry on the third. Amazing.

Hellion said...

Sin, I'm sorry your car is being the Suckiest of all Sucky Things.

Wow, I don't know if that speaks well for the book, the writing, or if you just had a shitty weekend and didn't have time to read anyway...

Marnee Jo said...

Hells - I think I need to pick up Anne Gracie. I think I'd like her stuff but I've just been so busy.

I want to get Wicked Intentions. I read the blurb but getting out of the house to get books has been difficult the past couple months and I refuse to order books I can get at the bookstore without paying for shipping. (Marnee=cheap)

Hellion said...

Amazon does free shipping at the $25 mark, you know. If you order WI and the Merridew series, you'd qualify for free shipping. You might even get a buy 4 get one free thing, but I'm not sure.

Marnee Jo said...

Temptation, thy name is Hellion.

Off to Amazon. ;)

Hellion said...

And don't forget to order EJ's book, out today--the reviews have been awesome!! :)

Marnee Jo said...

DRD, you're just as bad.

Off to price Borders vs Amazon.

Marnee Jo said...

PS. I'm feeling a little down today. I just got a rejection on a full I had out. It was a good rejection, very personal, with some good tips for my current MS and an offer to read a revised version or my next story.

I've resolved myself to my last MS's fate, but it still feels crappy, ya know?

Donna said...

Marn, Borders does too -- and they have a 33% off one item coupon right now too. :)

Hellion said...

No resolving! Your manuscript is wonderful! Someone is going to love your alligator! In the meantime, boost yourself with a little retail therapy. Reading is just as important as writing. :)

Oooh, Borders does too? I haven't ordered from Borders before...shopped there, but not had a shipment sent to me. Hmm.

Sin said...

*hug* It's okay Marn. Don't get resigned. The last MS is good. And they offered to read it again or another one. That speaks well for your overall voice and storytelling ability.

Marnee Jo said...

Not resolving because I think I can't make it better, just resolving because I don't feel like playing with it right now. :)

Sin said...

Mattycakes was home ALL. WEEKEND. LONG. UGH. UGH. And double f*cking UGH. Him and his work boyfriend were fighting. Talk about drama queens. I told them to pull their tampons out and start hair pulling.

Donna said...

Marn, so sorry to hear that about the full. That is GREAT news though about reading a revised version or the next story -- so focus on that. Those offers aren't given freely, so definitely use it to your advantage.

Here's a big squishy hug. Squish! Now go get you some books -- you deserve them, like Hellie said.

I use Borders.com all the time. I want to make sure they stay in business (I'm going to Borders today -- there are two within about the same distance, and I may have to go to both!) Plus once you spend $150, they give you $5 to spend (sometimes they give some of us an extra $5, just because!) Get on their email list and they'll send you at least one coupon a week!

Sin said...

hehehe my last CAPTCHA code was 7RUM. Um, thank you. 7 Rums in shot glasses would be nice.

Marnee Jo said...

Thanks Sin. That's what she said, that she liked my voice and thought my writing was strong. She just didn't dig some of the story elements.

The emotional tension and depth between the two main characters needs some help in that one. That's something I've been really trying to fix in my current one. She didn't say that, but she said that the relationship between the two characters needed to be more compelling. I inferred.

And that's funny about Matty and his work boyfriend. Men can be such girls sometimes.

Donna said...

Sin, can we switch captcha codes? LOL

And I saw a tweet the other day: "Who lit the fuse on your tampon?" LOL

Marnee Jo said...

*returning squishy hug to Donna* :)

I am hanging on to that read the next one offer. I like this agent a lot. Maybe next time around.

7 rums sounds nice though.

Sin said...

Men are all about the drama it seems. Apparently I don't dish out enough of it at home or something.

Hellion said...

Mattycakes is a Cancer--he comes with tampons. He was whiney that I didn't call him on his birthday, being he told me about his birthday like 3 times. I think he's feeling old.

Which boyfriend? Si? Not my cougar crush I hope--I don't think CC is a whiner and would hate to have that bubble burst. *LOL*

Sin said...

Mikey is a UBER whiner.

Sylas is Matty's boyfriend. I ask them all the time if they hold hands when I'm not looking.

Matt was whining that I didn't get him anything for his birthday (I mowed the yard for him in 110 heat, I'd say that's a helluva birthday present considering he didn't get me a damned thing for Christmas.) I told him if he wanted to go to that stupid gym in Texas to work out then I'd pay for him to go.

WHINER.

Hal said...

Oh Marn, that sucks! Did she give you good advice you can use?

I didn't plug my stuff in, but I found the article hilarious. I think I'd like to write like Cindy Gerard or Lisa Gardner. They're awesome at writing suspense that's well-mixed with an emotional romance.

So I've realized that I need to read a wider variety of romantic suspense, as that's my genre and I clearly have a major problem with the plot in my current MS. Maybe gorging myself on RS will help me with the structure and plotting. For tons of you who read RS, who are your favorites? Who would you recommend?

Hellion said...

Damn. Another bubble burst. Then again, he is named Mike and he's male, it was bound to burst.

I like that present. That's like presents men buy women--it LOOKS like a gift for you because it's a little black negligee you're supposed to wear but it's clearly more a gift for him. He gets the gift of going away on a trip to work out at his favorite place ever--but YOU get the gift of his absence so you can read your book and listen to the non-whining.

Hellion said...

Julie Garwood does some romantic suspense now; and Nora Roberts has that JD Robb thing. (I mean, while you're branching out, I assume they're the RS lite--and you might want to see if there is anything they do that you like.) I also recommend the new Dan Brown--he's not really RS, but he does really good suspense/thriller, so you can just use that part and have some really hot sex and emotional connection between the main characters ala Elizabeth Hoyt or Lisa Kleypas and you're golden.

Donna said...

Hal, I love Cindy Gerard's books too. I'm also a fan of Roxanne St. Claire, and I liked Stephanie Tyler's RS trilogy from earlier this year. I feel like I'm leaving somebody out though. . .Oh, Nina Bruhns had a really good RS trilogy too.

Well, I'm on my way to the bookstore, cuz I'm feeling a little blue-ish today. Of course, since I'm feeling like my books may never end up in a bookstore, it probably isn't where I should go! LOL

Hellion said...

No, no, no, Donna, your books will make it there. Go to the bookstore and map out your display in the bookstore, but never doubt you'll be there one day.

Hal said...

Thanks guys! I'm headed to the library in a bit to stock up :)

Janga said...

I read very little RS, but I like Brenda Novak and Roxanne St. Claire. In fact, Novak's White Heat is one of the new releases I'll be searching for today.

I've already read ecopies of three of today's releases, although I'll still be buying paper copies of them. Hellie called my review of Eloisa's A Kiss at Midnight "effusive," but reading that book just filled me with joy. Kristan Higgins's All I Ever Wanted made me laugh out loud, and I think Three Nights with a Scoundrel is Tessa Dare at her best-- and I love both her trilogies. I'm envious that Hellie has already read Hoyt's Wicked Intentions, and I will weep copiously if I can't find Loretta Chase's Last Night's Scandal. I've been waiting to read the story of a grown-up Olivia and Peregrine since Lord Perfect more than four years ago.

The write-like thing lost its credibility for me when it said, based on three paragraphs from TLWH, that I write like Tolkien.

As for whom I'd like to write like, I find it depressing that half of them seem not to be writing any longer. There are many writers whose work I love, but the books of Marsha Moyer, Kathleen Gilles Seidel, Barbara Samuel/Barbara O'Neal, and Robyn Carr make me say to myself, "Oh, to write like that!"

Marnee, I second the recommendation of Anne Gracie. The Merridew sisters books are wonderful, and I'm loving the Devil Riders books. (The Accidental Bride is now available for preorder.) But Gallant Waif is my favorite Gracie; it's high on my list of all-time favorites.

Janga said...

Marn, I'm so sorry about the rejection. Sometimes coming so close just makes them harder. I think the market is so tight now that deserving writers are being told "No thanks." (((Hugs)))

And Word Press hates me today. It took four tries to post my previous comment.

Bosun said...

Holy Crap! 46 comments?! And you thought everyone was in Orlando. LOL! Well, Chance and I ARE in Orlando. All checked in. Can you believe we could check in at 10 in the morning? Who'd a thunk? We're unpacked and headed for the Magic Kingdom.

Will read this later, but I still say all those writers are complimentary. And my absolute one would be LaVyrle Spencer. But I'd take a combo of SEP and Crusie without complaint.

Check back in later! Pray for us that we don't melt.

Oh, and Chance says she want to write like Edgar Rice Burroughs. :)

Hellion said...

Janga, when I used the word "effusive" (which for clarity's sake, I think was probably the wrong word) I meant "gushing" and "lavish" and "unreserved"--but in the nicest sense of those words. I could read your passion for the book in your praise and it just made me want to read it all the more. You always give the impression of being...objective in your reviews and therefore the unreserved nature of that particular review was akin to me seeing the Queen of England running into a room and hugging everyone. Clearly for that to happen, it was a very special book.

Do you think my work will notice if I disappear after lunch and not return?

Hellion said...

You're already THERE? What time was this flight? Geez? And CHANCE is already there? When was her flight?

Have fun at the Magic Kingdom! We want pictures! Don't forget my hat!

Oooh, LaVyrle Spencer is a great choice! I was so upset when she stopped writing. (And speaking of people who "stopped" writing, but am uber glad they're going to be out with something new soon: Jill Barnett. I wouldn't cry if someone compared us favorably. I mean, I would cry if someone said, "Jill Barnett is the best thing to happen to romance, but Hellion is the WORST."--for obvious reasons.)

What a shocker. Edgar Rice Burroughs. *LOL* I haven't even read the man and can see the comparison from here!

Marnee Jo said...

Thanks guys!

Hal - I forwarded what she said. I think it was helpful. She seems like a super professional agent. She's on top of my list next time around.

And thanks Janga. I think when I hit the right story, all will work out in the end. Just keep swimming, right? (Or writing as the case is.)

Bo'sun and Chance - Have fun at the Happiest Place on Earth! Take pics, please!! And tell Maggie, JK, and Tiff we say hi!

Irisheyes said...

Forgot to say sorry for the rejecton, Marn, and sending hugs your way! But reason to hope, huh!? That's very cool!

Irisheyes said...

I'd love to be compared to SEP, Jennifer Crusie or Robyn Carr. I just love their way with dialogue and their ability to do awesome characterizations. Draws me in every time.

I can't wait to get my hands on EJ's newest and Elizabeth Hoyt's Wicked Intentions. I think I just may have to check out that Borders online thing. I LOVE Borders. I have a B&N about 3 blocks from my house, but Borders always gives me 33-40% off books and you can become a member without paying (B&N is $25 a year!).

I'm house bound for today (DS had oral surgery this morning and is still hopped up on the anethesia) but I may try to sneak out later today. I could use a good read. I've tried getting into several of the top books recommended lately and they are just not floating my boat.

Right now I'm wishing I was at the Magic Kingdom with Terri and Chance. I do believe it's The Happiest %^&$#@ Place On Earth, to quote the DH!

Hellion said...

I cannot believe I forgot SEP on my original list. She can draw me in every time too--and I don't like football players. At all.

I'm sorry the DS had oral surgery today...that stinks. Can't you leave him stoned in the car for a few minutes while you run into Borders? (It's clear why it's best I never had children, right?)

I've never met your husband and can for some reason completely hear him saying that, with a grin on his face.

What movie did you guys end up seeing last week?

Hellion said...

Edgar...I googled him. No wonder his name sounds familiar. Chance has been name dropping him every other blog for weeks now. The Tarzan guy. Duh. (I'm sure other people knew who he was without googling but I'm not a fan of Tarzan, either by books or movie. I find men rather uncivilized enough without going out to the jungle to find one raised by wolves...or apes. I know some like that fantasy...just like some like the virgin hero fantasy, but it's just not my thing. Bring on the slutty men who live in penthouses.)

That aside, can totally see the similarities though: Chance has got that slew of great series stories with the pirates (much like the Tarzan series was serialized); featured as adventure in a world not unlike our world, though clearly an alternate history; marketed (or would like to be marketed) in every conceivable way--shirts, books, movies, et al so everyone can enjoy it in all facets.

Irisheyes said...

Both!

We saw Get Him To The Greek Monday night (for $1.50 each) and Iron Man 2 Tuesday night (for $1 each). What a deal. GHTTG was truly offensive and definitely a guy's movie, but still sort of funny and Iron Man 2 was good. I enjoyed both, even moreso cause we only spent a total of $5!

Hellion said...

Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Knocked Up, et al, are also truly offensive and guy movies--but funny. *LOL* (Okay, I love the yoga scene in FSM--and Couple's Retreat was also hysterical for the yoga scene. But still more guy movies than girl movies.)

I wish we still had movie theaters that had movies that cheap! Darnit!

Marnee Jo said...

Guy movie I loved: The Hangover. I laughed my butt off.

Irisheyes said...

Yeah, exactly! I saw Couple's Retreat and thought that was funny, too. Haven't seen the other 2.

There was some sort of connection to the Forgetting Sarah Marshall film. I think the lead rocker in GHTTG played to same role in FSM.

I was just a little nervous cause the last movie we went to that was supposed to be a "guy movie" and was truly horrible was Land of the Lost with Will Farrell. I actually walked out on that one - one of the few times in my life I did that.

Hellion said...

My friend Pam and some coworkers loved The Hangover. Cannot stand the bearded guy--he totally skeeved me out. "I can't be 500 feet in front of a school." Okay, EWWWW. *LOL* And I would have killed those guys if they'd done that at my wedding. *LOL*

I also wouldn't have drank an unopened soda handed to me by bearded guy and I can't believe they took shots from his flask. What a bunch of nimrods.

(I think I'm the only one who doesn't like Bradley Cooper either. He's played too many roles where he's a good looking asshole. *LOL* It's not a stretch for him. My entertainment weekly magazine coined a term: Doucheboat and used Bradley Cooper as the example. Basically a goodlooking asshole. *LOL*)

My rant aside--yes, The Hangover was immensely popular and I swear I hear someone everyday commenting how much they liked that movie. Very guy movie.

Hellion said...

Yeah, Russell Brand's character was a rock star that stole Sarah Marshall in the first film. He's supposed to be insanely hot and great at sex. *LOL* I thought his character was hysterical in FSM, but it's a secondary character role. To have him as a "main character" would undoubtedly make him less charming. *LOL*

Hellion said...

Irish, The Land of the Lost WAS terrible, and I'm a Will Ferrell junkie. But no, the reviews were so bad I skipped seeing it in theaters and only watched part of it at the gym. If I didn't make myself workout a minimum of 30 minutes on the elliptical, I would have walked out. Awful film.

(However, Crank and Crank 2 are awful too...so avoid them as well. I would rather have to watch LOTL than ever watch a Crank film again.)

Irisheyes said...

Yeah, I'm trying really hard not to turn into an old fart! I remember watching movies when I was younger that I thought were hilarious (The Sure Thing, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Trading Places, some Steve Martin movies) and my parents thought they were stupid. So, I'm trying to see the humor, but it gets harder and harder some times. Especially with Will Farrell (apologies, Hellie), but he drives me crazy! I think the only thing I've seen him in that I've actually liked is Elf.

Humor is very subjective. I remember reading someone somewhere (I hope it wasn't anyone here, apologies if it was) who thought SEP was not funny and her storylines were contrived and ridiculous. My immediate thought was - well she just didn't get the humor... or she just didn't think it was as funny as I did. To each his own. That's why I think it's harder to write comedy than drama. You have to find your target audience!

Donna said...

I'm back, and I got the books I wanted -- even if I had to go to TWO Borders stores! LOL I usually go to the first one because they're nicer, but they didn't have ANY of the new books out, so I went to the 2nd one. They had all of them (Eloisa James, Loretta Chase, and Suzanne Brockmann), plus I picked up a Dee Davis romantic suspense -- heck, since I was saving 30% off one book, I could spend it on ANOTHER book. LOL

Now I've got to decide which one I start with. :)

Hellion said...

Irish, have you seen Stranger Than Fiction? It's got Will Ferrell and Emma Thompson and Queen Latifah, and they are all hilarious in it. Not your typical Will movie. Very good.

Hellion said...

ELOISA JAMES! Start with the ELOISA JAMES!!!

Hellion said...

And I totally agree: humor is subjective--overly so. Drama or tragedy, those aren't so much. Death of child or parent, loss of a spouse, a friendship ending--those are things most everyone agrees are dramatic or tragic.

I was having to watch Abbott and Costello movies the other night on TCM--and all I could think was "This was funny? This is the dumbest thing I've ever watched!" And I can't stand the Stooges!

Janga said...

I'm not a Will Ferrell fan either, Irish, but I LOVE Stranger Than Fiction. I even went to the theater to see it, something I rarely do, usually only for Harry Potter movies. I think I've seen STF five times since.

Irisheyes said...

Forgot about that one! I did see that and liked it. That whole concept was fascinating, as was finding out how Larry Kroger/Amadeus (Tom Hulce) aged almost beyond my recognition! LOL

Julie said...

My entertainment weekly magazine coined a term: Doucheboat and used Bradley Cooper as the example. Basically a goodlooking asshole
Doucheboat?
Really. I Should feel insulted ... except "goodlooking asshole" kinda floats my boat.

*g*

Hellion said...

Yes, "doucheboat"--I nearly snorted soda out of my nose when I read it. But it wasn't on Urban Word of the Day. Although "doucheboat" is a bit classier than a lot of the terms coined on that website.

Julie said...

ELOISA JAMES! Start with the ELOISA JAMES!!!

Yes, Donna. start with the Eloisa James ...Start by Giving it to me! Seriously. You know that you want to!Yes you do... you due ... dew ...

Julie said...

"Although “doucheboat” is a bit classier"

Why Hellion, Everyone knows that there are few things in this world classier than a Douche!

Donna said...

LOL, Julie -- here ya go -- I'm squeezing it into this little comment box. . . :)

I'm such a contrarian today. I wanted to HAVE the books, but I'm not in the mood to read just now. LOL I want some ice cream. I may have to go hunt some down.

Julie said...

Marn, I’m so sorry about the rejection. But I've read bits & pieces of your work. Love your voice. So keep the faith and hang in there. Your time will come! I know it will.

Sin said...

I really liked Old School. Definitely offensive. Definitely a guy movie. But definitely hilarious.

But as the GPS will say, "Unless it sparks a new way to kill someone, you don't like it."

So true. My next experiment is to kill with jellyfish. Not sure how my heroine in MO will get one, but I'll figure it out.

Sin said...

And I hate Bradley Cooper. He looks like a DNozzle.

Julie said...

I’m such a contrarian today.

A Contrarian? Does that stand for a Cont(emporary) (Lib)rarian? So Donna, you feel like a Librarian today? Librarians have this intense need to loan bboks, right? So you must be feeling this wild desire to loan someone your new books. Tell yah what ... just cuz I'm so nice !'ll let you loan those books to me. No need to thank me. that's what friends are for!

Hellion said...

Good, you and I can create the "I Think Bradley Cooper is a Doucheboat Who Looks Like a Douchebag" Club. He looks like a ferret.

Sin said...

That's real subtle Jules.

Sin said...

hahahahaha

"Say NO to the ferret" and we could have a picture of his face on the front of a T with a big line drawn through it.

Donna said...

So I should quit working on this Bradley Cooper bobblehead doll for ya, Sin?

Hellion said...

Donna, you ever watch The Princess Bride? Jules reminds me of one of the lines about not getting into an argument with a Sicilian--only in her case, it'd be "don't get in a debate with a Byzantenian"...you might as well hand over your book.

Julie said...

So true. My next experiment is to kill with jellyfish.

Gosh, I don't have a death by jellyfish story. But I do have a story about almost killing someone with jelly ...

Donna said...

Julie -- I sent it through the comment tube! A couple of comments back! You didn't get it? Dang! That means one of the other pirates must have snagged it before it got to YOU!

I'm accusing Hellion. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was her. LOL

Donna said...

LOL, good thing I got several books -- I can give this one to Jules and still have something for myself.

Or, even better. . .Jules, I'll trade you some ice cream for this book!

Julie said...

"That’s real subtle Jules."

I've been telling you Pirates for Years that i am subtle. Butt no one ever listens. Its tragic.

Hellion said...

Nah, you should keep working on it, Donna. Sin likes receiving things she can set on fire.

Donna said...

Nah, you should keep working on it, Donna. Sin likes receiving things she can set on fire.

Okay, whew. I thought she might have a fit when she found out "ice pick sold separately". LOL

Hellion said...

You think Sin doesn't have a spare ice pick? Have you met Sin?

Donna said...

You know, "you must be THIS tall to wear this ice pick". LOL

Donna said...

I just wasn't sure it would be the right SIZE ice pick.

Julie said...

I have ice cream.
lots of Lovely ice cream.
Creamy. Icey cream.
AND
One neighbors’ just brought over some veggies from her garden. With all of this rain things are growing like mad. One of the veggies was a cucumber … Subtle it ain’t. Its as big as … as … well have I ever told you about the couple who live down the lane from me? They have a pet named Lenny. He’s a great big ol’ stud bull …
I swear. the woman blushed when she took it out of the bag.

Julie said...

Mattycakes is a Cancer–he comes with tampons. He was whiney that I didn’t call him on his birthday…

You know … you didn’t wish Me a happy birthday either, Hellion. Neither did SIN. Or Donna or … Any body on this ship!
OMG!
Its because I’m a Cancer too, isn’t it! My Conclusion is: Cruelty to Cancers is Common among Curmudgeons !

Julie said...

And Finally

SIN said "I’ve got nothing today. I mostly want to hide underneath my desk and pretend ..."

Julie said "Oooh? Yah want this Cucumber?"

Hellion said...

Jules, I love it when you get all alliterative. Happy Birthday!

Janga said...

Julie, I wished you happy birthday twice.

Julie said...

*sniff*

Why thank you, Captain!

The first time I my teacher wrote Assonance and Alliteration on the blackboard I thought … "I love the way those words sound. Like you’re saying something rather naughty. And getting away with it.”

Julie said...

Oooh I know, Jamga! You are to(two) sweet!

Donna said...

I *knew* I needed ice cream. Just got another editor pass. Pout.

LOL

At least the calories don't count this way!

Hellion said...

This is not a good week for manuscripts, is it? I think the stars are out of whack and everyone should stop waiting by the mailbox and read ELOISA JAMES' new book. With a bowl of Breyer's (Triple Chocolate is a good choice) of course. A dousing of the hardshell stuff.

Donna said...

Maybe they're all getting their desks cleaned off before August vacation. :)

I wish somebody delivered ice cream. It seems so far away. LOL

I don't know if I can read now. It'll remind me of what I can't write like (see? I can't even write a decent sentence! LOL)

Julie said...

You're Right, Hellie... But its not the stars. its Jupiter. From Astrology.com :

Dear Julie,

Jupiter goes retrograde in Aries on July 22-23, reverses into Pisces on September 9, where it turns direct again on November 18. Jupiter is the planet of expansion, success, confidence and good luck. When it goes retrograde, however, all that bountiful energy is turned inwards. During a Jupiter retrograde period, all outer materialistic ambitions become less important and indeed slightly harder to fulfil. You may find difficulties and obstacles where none existed before.

With Jupiter in fiery Aries from early June, we may have all felt a jolt of energy and forward progress, however as Jupiter retrogrades what is truly important is to connect with your spiritual center. You will find that you are putting a higher value on emotions and less emphasis on money and material possessions. You'll want to connect at a deeper level with friends and partners and worry less about keeping up appearances.

More than anything Jupiter wants you to find a real sense of meaning and purpose in your life. This is the time to go inward - review - and reflect. New goals and aims should come out of this time of Jupiter retrograde period. Having a vision of your ideal is very important to Jupiter. Life isn't all about collecting wood and drawing water -- the treadmill of daily life. There is another dimension into which you can now move into. It may not be the time to act on your dreams, more a time to gestate -- prepare, reflect, plan, and ask your muse for inspiration. Then by November you'll be ready to move ahead.

Julie said...

So prepare, reflect, plan, and ask your muse for inspiration... and have plenty of ice cream on hand!

Sin said...

Jules, I'm sorry. I'm awful at remembering birthdays. I'm a total jackass.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I have something perfect for you. I just have to dig it out from the crow's nest.

Sin said...



Nah, you should keep working on it, Donna. Sin likes receiving things she can set on fire.

Okay, whew. I thought she might have a fit when she found out “ice pick sold separately”. LOL

You think Sin doesn’t have a spare ice pick? Have you met Sin?

I just wasn’t sure it would be the right SIZE ice pick.

You know, “you must be THIS tall to wear this ice pick”. LOL


I'm sorry. This is funny as hell. LOL. I'm just sorry I missed it. "You must be THIS tall to wear this ice pick." WTF. LMFAO

Sin said...

Watch out Jules. You're in my planetary orbit now.

Sin said...

And last but not least.... A Cucumber? Are we about to do some alternate world to American Pie on the ship that I don't know about?

Sin said...

Oh, and DRD they do deliver ice cream... Its call the Ice Cream Truck. Go shove some little kids out of the way.

Donna said...

Sin, I haven't seen any ice cream trucks around here in a billion years. Which is fine, because I don't really like what they offer. LOL I'm particular about my ice cream! Although I remembered I need to lose about 14 cartons' worth of weight, so I decided to stay home and have iced coffee instead. Glad you liked the DRD and Hellion show. :)

Jules, thanks for the info re Jupiter. I can't really wait til November for that planet to get back on board with my career plans though! LOL And Happy Birthday!

Bosun said...

First big laugh of the day...Terri and the Tiki Room. Pirates was good and suddenly many of the things in the movie that people went 'ooooooh' about...explained!

Showering now. Well, Terri is. I'm next. Looks like a great blog and no hotties! See!

I got Margaret Atwood also, Hel. Hee, hee. Yup, ERB is someone I aspire to, but also Fritz Leiber, Ray Bradbury, Anne McCaffrey, Nina Kiriki Hoffman and a dozen others...

Marn - Sorry to hear about the rejection. But it sounds like a good rejection...better than...one of those 'you suck' things!

Hey, she's done! My turn. No one told me how hot it was going to be here... ;-)

Oh, and this is 2nd Chance, not Bo'sun. Man, I'm logged in as her...ah, the havoc I could wreck!

Bosun said...

Bo'sun again. My flight was at 6:30 this morning and since I slept it, I made it just in time to walk on the plane, with my shoelaces still untied from security. Chance took the red eye out of Cali last night so I've no idea how she's awake.

I got in around 8:30a and she got in about 45 mins later.

Okay, need to dry my hair and put on some make up. Grabbing dinner then meeting up with Tiff, Kris, and Maggie for a night cap. :)

I took pics! Will take more!

Donna said...

Well, both of you Bo'suns -- LOL -- have a great time! Sounds like it's fun already.

Irisheyes said...

Had to make a Walmart run for ice cream for the patient and happened to wander into the book isle! I now have Wicked Intentions in my hot little hands and plan on starting it tonight before bed! YAY!!!!

I also picked up Skinny Cow Dulce de Leche ice cream for myself, Donna. I've had their fudgesicles and they are awesome. I've decided to try to eat lowfat ice creams whenever I can to alleviate some of the guilt.

And I forgot to tell Terri and Chance my 2 favorite rides at WDW - Mickey's PhilarMagic in the Magic Kingdom and Soarin' at Epcot's Future World. Not worth a 2 hours wait in line but fun if you can catch them!

Donna said...

Irish, I love Skinny Cow! I'm not usually an ice cream sandwich kind of gal, but I can go through the Skinny Cow ones like nobody's business! I will definitely stock up tomorrow. :)

Hellie said...

2nd, one of my favorite things I read in high school was by Ray Bradbury, "There Will Come Soft Rains."

You guys sound like you had the LONGEST day ever. Red eye flights (even 6:30 am is a red eye to me) and time at Disney World, and now dinner with the girls--you guys are going to CRASH tonight.

Irish, I love Skinny Cow ice cream!! Great stuff! I hope you love Wicked Intentions. Did you get EJ's book too??

Irisheyes said...

No I couldn't find EJ at Walmart. I'm gonna try Target tomorrow. Those are the 2 closest to me and I always get 25% off. Every little bit helps.

Skinny Cow is my amazing discovery for the summer! I'm trying to watch the fat and fat calories in stuff that we all eat without giving up taste. It is getting easier and easier these days. Looking for all the Bob Greene Best Life products too - without spending too much or going nuts. I'm kind of determined to eat a little better than we have been. We'll see how that goes...

Yeah, you guys better conserve your strength or you are going to be fried before the activities begin!

Julie said...

I'll second that both of you Bo’suns should have a great time!
And Skinny Cow Icecream?
Gosh. I've never heard of it!
Which could explain why my DH has been known to describe my figure as “Well fed Midwestern beef.” Yes. I thought about killing him. Since there isn’t a jury in the world that would have convicted me. The women would have thought “He had it coming.” And the men would have thought “I can’t convict her. My wife/girlfriend/sister would kill me. And she’d get away with it cuz there isn’t a jury in the world that would have convicted her. The women would have thought “He had it coming.” And the men would have thought “I can’t convict her. My wife/girlfriend/sister would kill me. And she’d get away with it …