Thursday, May 20, 2010
You Know You’re Not In California Anymore When…
My trip to Minnesota and subsequent drive to Columbus, OH, with me sidekick, Jane… (yes, you’re the sidekick, it’s my blog. I can be your sidekick in your blog. So there!) … Anyway, exposed me to sights me California brain shrieked at.
Before I get into the details, I contemplated, after I quit hyperventilating, about how these things can be used in the writing of characters. I often feel a bit at a loss that what I’m writing will never be understood by those who live in the middlelands of America. My voice is very Californian…or very coasty orientated. But I discovered…I can use that.
How best to explore the authenticity of a character than to plot them into a we’re not in Kansas anymore mentality? How to make that believable? Give the midlands a chance to smirk at me California sensitivities. Everyone likes to laugh at someone else.
Well, first example…
Jane picks me up at the airport in St. Paul/Minneapolis where I’m informed the two cities have a rivalry to challenge the whole North/South thing. Interesting! Not shocking, but interesting. I’m calmly sitting in the passenger side of her truck, enjoying the fact that there is no constant roar of airplane engines in my ears. Nice countryside, just greening up.
Oh! Was that the Mississippi we crossed? Cool!
Nearly to Jane’s…about 45 minutes north of the great feud, and there it was. Jane was chatting and I politely didn’t interrupt her. But I thought, never in a million years would I see this in California.
A billboard. From a gun range. Babe to the left side, in shorts and a tank top, cradling a machine gun in her arms. Smiling seductively.
GUNS!
AMMMO!
CARRY PERMITS!
MACHINE GUN RENTAL!
Not something I’d see in California. Ever. I later questioned Jane about this billboard and she calmly said something to the effect of, “Oh, yeah. Big thing here.”
Hmmm. Well, good regional detail to include if I ever want to set a story in MN…
Machine guns? Really?
Next was the billboard with a smiling (and waving with articulated arm) George Bush with the slogan, “Miss Me Yet?” Followed a few miles later by the answer, “NO!” and a list of reasons why he was not missed.
Hmmm. Battle of the billboards! Not something we see in CA…maybe billboard prices are higher in CA and people don’t express their political viewpoints there. Too busy smacking each other about on the radio, like most civilized places. (Billboards like this would be covered in graffiti so fast!!!! Not to mention likely attract picketers.)
Days later, we were heading to Columbus and stopped for a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel (yes, I saw the chocolate desert everyone was drooling over a few months back. It was breakfast, I got French Toast. It was very good!) Hours later, another restaurant, in Wisconsin. And sitting at the bar was a gentleman, smoking.
Hey! I’m not in California! They actually allow smoking in restaurants in Wisconsin! Another bit of reality smack for me and another note in my writer’s journal regarding regional details.
I was feeling the fish out of water and very far from safe old California. But my analytical mind was taking notes! (Yes, safe in California where earthquakes are considered so-o-o-o-o-o scary…as we drove through the night, later discovering we’d driven through several areas of tornado warnings…)
Made it to the conventions without any more shocks to my system. I mean, the small signs, ala Burma Shave style, with bible quotes or pro gun stuff barely registered to me. Private property, have at it.
Though the outdoor gun range, next to the highway, prompted some concern on my part. What if someone tripped and the gun ended up pointed at the cars accidentally and was fired? I sense big law suit possibility here!
No, my last regional shock was in Ohio, on the drive back to Jane’s place. A McDonalds, of all places. No, it wasn’t more smoking. Not the subtle changes in menu. It was the placemats on the trays. Courtesy of the local Baptist Church. Complete with Bible quotations, church schedules and things for the kids to color.
Whoa! A corporate chain hand in hand with a church! There was a shriek from my liberal California soul that I’m sure shattered windows somewhere.
But I appeared totally calm and sedate.
All of these things I pondered in the days I spent at Jane’s place before flying home to California. Jane’s neighborhood, where no house has a fence around it. (Which sorta causes problems when it comes to exactly where is the property line and do you have the right to cut that tree down? I don’t think so!)
Good thing those machine guns are only available at the gun range.
I think.
I knew I wanted to blog about these things and how it all can play into writing.
I so enjoyed the strong wind and huge clouds we had in Columbus the first day. Jane was practically flinching and worried about tornadoes. Ignorance is bliss? I didn’t know any better!
So, what regional differences can you think of to better anchor your characters where they live? Or to set them adrift in a strange and foreign land, still within the confines of the continental USA? And yes, I know several things in California that would freak out the midlands. And New York has them, I’m sure. Everywhere does. What comes to your mind?
Machine guns? Really???
Before I get into the details, I contemplated, after I quit hyperventilating, about how these things can be used in the writing of characters. I often feel a bit at a loss that what I’m writing will never be understood by those who live in the middlelands of America. My voice is very Californian…or very coasty orientated. But I discovered…I can use that.
How best to explore the authenticity of a character than to plot them into a we’re not in Kansas anymore mentality? How to make that believable? Give the midlands a chance to smirk at me California sensitivities. Everyone likes to laugh at someone else.
Well, first example…
Jane picks me up at the airport in St. Paul/Minneapolis where I’m informed the two cities have a rivalry to challenge the whole North/South thing. Interesting! Not shocking, but interesting. I’m calmly sitting in the passenger side of her truck, enjoying the fact that there is no constant roar of airplane engines in my ears. Nice countryside, just greening up.
Oh! Was that the Mississippi we crossed? Cool!
Nearly to Jane’s…about 45 minutes north of the great feud, and there it was. Jane was chatting and I politely didn’t interrupt her. But I thought, never in a million years would I see this in California.
A billboard. From a gun range. Babe to the left side, in shorts and a tank top, cradling a machine gun in her arms. Smiling seductively.
GUNS!
AMMMO!
CARRY PERMITS!
MACHINE GUN RENTAL!
Not something I’d see in California. Ever. I later questioned Jane about this billboard and she calmly said something to the effect of, “Oh, yeah. Big thing here.”
Hmmm. Well, good regional detail to include if I ever want to set a story in MN…
Machine guns? Really?
Next was the billboard with a smiling (and waving with articulated arm) George Bush with the slogan, “Miss Me Yet?” Followed a few miles later by the answer, “NO!” and a list of reasons why he was not missed.
Hmmm. Battle of the billboards! Not something we see in CA…maybe billboard prices are higher in CA and people don’t express their political viewpoints there. Too busy smacking each other about on the radio, like most civilized places. (Billboards like this would be covered in graffiti so fast!!!! Not to mention likely attract picketers.)
Days later, we were heading to Columbus and stopped for a late breakfast at Cracker Barrel (yes, I saw the chocolate desert everyone was drooling over a few months back. It was breakfast, I got French Toast. It was very good!) Hours later, another restaurant, in Wisconsin. And sitting at the bar was a gentleman, smoking.
Hey! I’m not in California! They actually allow smoking in restaurants in Wisconsin! Another bit of reality smack for me and another note in my writer’s journal regarding regional details.
I was feeling the fish out of water and very far from safe old California. But my analytical mind was taking notes! (Yes, safe in California where earthquakes are considered so-o-o-o-o-o scary…as we drove through the night, later discovering we’d driven through several areas of tornado warnings…)
Made it to the conventions without any more shocks to my system. I mean, the small signs, ala Burma Shave style, with bible quotes or pro gun stuff barely registered to me. Private property, have at it.
Though the outdoor gun range, next to the highway, prompted some concern on my part. What if someone tripped and the gun ended up pointed at the cars accidentally and was fired? I sense big law suit possibility here!
No, my last regional shock was in Ohio, on the drive back to Jane’s place. A McDonalds, of all places. No, it wasn’t more smoking. Not the subtle changes in menu. It was the placemats on the trays. Courtesy of the local Baptist Church. Complete with Bible quotations, church schedules and things for the kids to color.
Whoa! A corporate chain hand in hand with a church! There was a shriek from my liberal California soul that I’m sure shattered windows somewhere.
But I appeared totally calm and sedate.
All of these things I pondered in the days I spent at Jane’s place before flying home to California. Jane’s neighborhood, where no house has a fence around it. (Which sorta causes problems when it comes to exactly where is the property line and do you have the right to cut that tree down? I don’t think so!)
Good thing those machine guns are only available at the gun range.
I think.
I knew I wanted to blog about these things and how it all can play into writing.
I so enjoyed the strong wind and huge clouds we had in Columbus the first day. Jane was practically flinching and worried about tornadoes. Ignorance is bliss? I didn’t know any better!
So, what regional differences can you think of to better anchor your characters where they live? Or to set them adrift in a strange and foreign land, still within the confines of the continental USA? And yes, I know several things in California that would freak out the midlands. And New York has them, I’m sure. Everywhere does. What comes to your mind?
Machine guns? Really???
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101 comments:
What an interesting topic, Chance.
I'm on my second Regency-set historical, so I'm pretty much trapped in the Regency era with all it's foibles and social barriers. I must admit, I'm not the biggest history buff so the fine art of pianofortes and shift fabric can throw me off, cause me to do more research than I wish I did. But there it is.
Also, I know that historical romance takes some liberties with what really happened back then. It's like it's own code. So learning that is a constant struggle.
As far as places I've been that surprised me. Hmmm... I'm from Central-Western PA, that place on the Pennsylvania map between Harrisburg and Pittsburg where there's just open land. It's John Deer trackers and coal mining out there. Gun and Bible loving. It's small towns filled with a lot of Polish, Irish, and Eastern European folks. Read: not much diversity. And definitely not a whole lot of money. Very blue collar, solid middle class with a lower-middle class bend.
So when I moved to NJ, right outside Philly, let's just say I was shocked. I live in the suburbs now. Lots of BMWs and Mercedes Benz. Lots of McMansions and kids who are involved in every activity known to man. Upscale boutiques and ritzy restaurants. I'd never been to a Zagat rated restaurant until I moved here. Though it doesn't mean that their food is better than some I got at a truck stop outside my hometown. (Gravy fries are tough competition, even for world-renowned chefs.)
NYC is cool, I used to party a lot there when I first moved here. That's like it's own blog. And I've been to Miami Beach a few times. That's like it's own world.
Honestly, all the places I've been have been great in their own way. I think it's very "America" that we are all so different.
As someone who grew up in rural Missouri, and then moved to Philly, and then Amsterdam, and then back to rural Maryland, I have experienced this many times.
Although the much funnier reaction was my poor husband the first time we drove to my parents house. He grew up in the DC suburbs, had never driven on a dirt road before, never seen fire signs (i.e., the little four-digit numbers posted really big at the property line so the fire department knows where to go, since no one has a street address), never fired a sawed-off shot gun (which my father handed him in the middle of Christmas dinner -- loaded), and never wasted an afternoon ramming down trees with a truck (my dad's favorite past time).
Though ironically, when I moved to DC in college, I kept trying to figure out why everyone was so mad at me. Turns out, they weren't mad, they just weren't absurdly (and fake-ly) friendly like they are in the midwest.
I love relating all this to writing. You're so right that we're all affected by where we live, and when we're dropped into another part of America, it can be a VERY different place!
Boss lady called me on a project I'm supposed to be working on (in my SPARE TIME!) and since I HAVEN'T been working on it, I must kick into high gear.
I will be back to play as soon as I can! Great blog, Chance. (I read it really fast. Don't tell.)
We don't have any billboards advertising machine guns here. We do have billboards advertising HOOTERS and several porn shops. Our McD's does not have Baptist placemats; and we're not allowed to smoke in businesses within the city limits of town. Actually you have to smoke at least 20 feet away from the building as well. Also there is a noise ordinance (mostly to keep the college kids down to a dull roar.)
The George Bush and follow up billboard is flat out funny.
In California, I understand, your billboards all warn people about potential threats of cancer. Must not bother the locals as much as the visitors--much like earthquakes.
Oh, I did see something that might disturb you yesterday. There were church protesters outside of our small Planned Parenthood, waving signs that said, "All Life is Precious." As if the only reason someone goes to PP is to get an abortion. I'm sorry, but when you have no insurance and you need woman exams and birth control--they are the people you go to! Pisses me off.
I don't know why you're paranoid about gun ranges. You'd think the drive-by shootings in California would much more dangerous. It's not like California doesn't have guns.
Chance, I love this! I've lived in a LOT of the states, and a few years ago, I got to do a cross-country drive and back. It's fascinating how different this country is -- to the point that it's really several mini-countries!
I grew up in the Midwest and the West Coast, and hadn't been to the Northeast until about 15 years ago. I expected it to be completely different -- all cement, no trees. LOL Not like that all. In fact, it's more rural HERE than on the West Coast.
One thing that initially struck me is how people here seem to live and die in the same town, and still view us "newcomers" as a bit suspicious. (I want to yell, "I had ancestors come over on the Mayflower -- technically I've been here longer than you!")
I'm failing to see the bad in the billboard with machine gun rental. You can't drive down I-70 five seconds without encountering a sex store billboard. I think there should be a war of the billboards between all the states. I have a picture of one that stating, "We pump for your pleasure."
It was for a gas station. It was truly awesome.
I will agree about culture shock. No offense, but California people talk to fast. Can't understand a damn word that come out. I've been out to the west often enough that there is NO such thing as a free refill on any drink. Nor do they say, "Yes ma'am. No ma'am. Please. Thank you. Let me get that door for you." And if you order tea, it does NOT come with sugar.
LOL, Sin, about the tea. When I moved to Massatucky, if you ordered a "regular coffee" it came with cream and sugar in it. WTF?
Or years ago when I was in London, I ordered coffee and they asked "white or black". LOL And you have to say "milk", not "cream", because you'll get the thick cream that's used for desserts and stuff. LOL
So, Marn, if you were writing contemporaries, you might have someone sit down to a plate of gravy fries, recoil in horror, then become awestruck at their awesomeness... Nice way to use regional differences!
I'm not a great people observer, as I've spoke of before. Don't sit and pick up details about people, but about places? Places I'm good at.
I think sometimes you never really know your home until you wander around it with a stranger. I hoofed it about Columbus with a native and we wandered through the coolest park...blocks away from where she worked... She'd never seen it before.
Seems to me a great way to add sensory detail to a WIP...to point what things that aren't seen by the natives.
Never been to New York, and only been to quick conferences in Orlando, but I imagine they are places with two very different asthetics.
Yeah, Sin, I didn't see a problem with the machine gun rental either. But she's Californian.
Oh, speaking of tea, I remember Tiffany's culture shock coming down from Canada for the vacation in Virginia (what was it? July?)--and all we heard all week was "God, it's hot!" Actually it wasn't nearly as hot as it usually is that time of year. And every tea she ordered ended up being iced sweet tea--when she wanted simply plain hot tea in a cup. She looked as confused as the waitress who didn't understand why the tea she brought wasn't the tea that Tiff wanted. Most hysterical. At one point she said, "I don't want ICED tea. I want HOT tea." And in confusion, the waitress shrugged, went to the Lipton tea dispenser, and poured a glass of HOT sweet tea into a plastic glass and gave it to Tiff. Terri and I roared with laughter.
Hal - Yup! Very different places here! I think it's fascinating how we take characters to distant locals to play with them. But drop your husband in the middle of the in-law's table and he's handed a loaded shotgun! Now, there is culture shock!
I hope I'm not making it seem like one way is better than another. That's not my point, it's how we react to what is familiar and what is unfamiliar. I can wander downtown Santa Cruz and not even blink at he/she behind the counter at the Starbucks. Boy? Girl? I have no idea... There's eyeliner, lipstick, dread locks...an adam's apple... I think...
The very first time I faced one of these he/shes, I was floored and drove myself crazy trying to figure it out. Nowadays, I don't even blink at it.
That's a detail that can really anchor a MS.
Chance, you're right -- it's a shock and then it becomes part of your routine.
When I first moved here, I was going crazy when people would give me typical New England directions: "You go down where Carol's Dairy Barn used to be and make a left". LOL They all assume you've been here forever and KNOW where something USED to be. LOL
The other day I gave directions like that, and didn't realize it until my BFF told me. LOL
Hel - Yeah, the drive by shootings...still gives one pause to consider whether getting pissed at the yahoo who just cut off is worth the risk. Sometimes, I think it's made a lot of us safer drivers...
"Should I honk and give him the finger?
"What if he has a handgun next to him?
Maybe not..."
I think the things that blew me away were the passive elements I noticed. Yeah, we've had the protestors on the overpasses, at streetcorners, at the PP... But for me on this trip, it was the day-to-day things that were interesting.
Jane didn't even blink at the machine gun on the billboard. It threw me for a loop! And I thought it was hilarious that it was advertised with a babe in hot pants and a halter top!
I can actually see the attraction.
"Hey babe, want to head on down to Ed's Shooting Range and let off some steam?"
"Sure, sugarlips, it's that time of the month and it's better than crying at AT&T commercials..."
I've heard that about a lot of places on the East Coast, Donna! Here on the WestCoast, the suspicions run more localized. Oregonians hate Californians. Far northern Californians eye anyone from south of Redding with a crooked eye. The valley is uncertain of the coast. And no one likes people from Los Angeles.
We don't have the "yer not from around these parts", but I think that is because no one has been here long!
Sin, alas, manners suffer greatly in my home state. Though it depends on the culture of the city you're in. I have the door held open for me all the time at Starbucks. My Starbucks is in a heavily hispanic area and damn, those Mom's raise their kids to be polite!
The sex billboards were interesting. I saw a bunch of those, too. But since they have those huge sex shops in Oregon, they didn't strike me as strange. I thought it very open-minded of them to have them next to truck stops... ;)
Oh, see!? I love that bit about the tea! That is something to slip into a book and make the locals grin, and teach the non-locals something they'll remember!
And you bet, attitudes about guns are different depending on region.
Bo'sun! Hope the nasty slave driving supervisor gives you chance to play soon!
Donna - It's funny. I'd think if you used to know where Carol's Dairy Farm was, you probably already know where you're going...
Fun way to confuse the local! I used to give directions via large stores, but with the economy seeing so many closed, I try to remember things to use that aren't dependent on still being open!
And you bet, attitudes about guns are different depending on region.
Same with tea. Bostonians aren't real big on tea. LOL
Even in California. Those who live in the far northern 3rd of the state...they totally believe the rest of the state is populated by fruit loops. It's a more gun toting area. You even pass a sign on I-5 touting the state of Jefferson.
Yup, they was talk of splitting the state at one point...
Bostonians aren't real big on tea... Going back to when they dumped it all in the harbor?
I visited Boston once. Whirlwind visit. Four days, drove to Walden, drove to Salem, visited the USS Constitution, Boston Commons...even made it up to Gloucester...
Exactly, Chance -- that whole Boston Harbor thing lingering on. LOL
And it's so small here that it's relatively quick to get everywhere (if there's no traffic). I go by Walden Pond all the time -- which reminds me -- I always thought of it being this area that should be treated with reverence.
It's a big swimming area for the locals. LOL They bring their swim toys and everything!
That's how it works with locals. Out of towners treat a place with reverence, while the locals just see if as a cool place to swim! But it seems to me that has helped to preserve it... I remember reading about it when we visited...
I really do believe you never really know your hometown until you view it through the eyes of out of towners. Granted, their eyes don't always see the truth the locals know! But it's a good shift in perspective.
And again! I believe these things can add some real interest to a book!
Walden's pond was gorgeous in person. Still can't stand Ralph BORING Emerson though. What a dweeb.
Hey, wenches -- I've got to go out and about for a while. I can't wait to see where this ends up when I get back. LOL
Oregon has huge sex shops?
*blinks in amazement*
No time! Need food! Need NAP!
Sure, Oregon has sex shops. Next to the big truck stops...sex shops. Big ones.
Emerson was boring, eh? I found him quite...let's see...edifying.
But Emerson wrote some highly quotable stuff, Hellie. I love "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds." And then there is the ironic "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." :)
RE: Giving Directions
Someone actually did a study on how people in different regions of the U.S. gave directions. It turned out that Southerners were the most accommodating but the least helpful. They responded politely to requests for directions but tended to couch then in terms such as "over yonder" and "a little piece up the road" as in "It's over yonder aways. Turn right by the big oak on Dub Turner's corner and go a little piece down Preacer Road and you'll be right there."
A different study examined questions people ask new acquaintances. The most common question was "What do you do?"--except in the Souther where it was "Where are you from?"
The results might be different now since we have so many Yankee transplants. LOL
Janga - Yeah, love the directions that are only really helpful if you know where you're going. And the extra helpful no-help! HA!
As GPS becomes the norm, all those little ways to send strangers off on a wild goose chase will end.
Instead the GPS will do the misleading. And not nearly so politely!
Though mine always sounds so pleased with me when we 'arriving at destination!' I swear, she sounds so happy about it!
Janga - When I moved south, which was a culture shock anyway - the first question I was always asked after "Where are you from?" was "Do you have a church?" You would never get that question up north.
When I moved to a small town in AR, most of the directions started with "You know where the old Co-op used to be?" or some such. It's like no one in the south has realized their streets have names.
The machine gun billboard would have bothered me, but then I talk really fast so maybe I was a Californian in a former life. :)
The machine gun billboard just sorta amazed me. I mean, I know attitudes about guns are different and I know hunting and all of that. Machine guns? That was the kicker. And to use tits and ass to sell it? On a billboard next to a major freeway...
I don't think MN is in the Bible belt, but it did seem a bit...disrespectful to Mom, motherhood and apple pie.
To me.
It was funny!
They'll use tits and ass to sell anything and that's pretty much universal. But I'd imagine it's hard to eat the deer after you've filled it full of holes from a machine gun. LOL!
But I could see going to the gun range and shooting of a machine gun as an option to biting off the husband's head and eating it... Much more constructive way to deal with PMS.
I hope they don't use them to hunt! LOL!
I almost used a pic of a squirrel holding a machine gun...that would seem sort of fair...
Emerson was boring, eh? I found him quite…let’s see…edifying.
You also like Walt Whitman, which also explains a lot.
I find him to be annoying philosopher, and I'd rather talk to walls than ever be caught in an elevator with the man. You know how you're asked, "What dead celebrity would you want to dine with?" He never makes my list. Neither does Whitman.
Oscar Wilde. Now I bet that guy could make you snort soda out of your nose. He'd be fun. And Shakespeare...
“I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
Yet another reason why he and I would never get along.
I think I don't like him because he always came across as a pretentious blow hard to me...and I can't stand pretentious blow hards.
Who would I like to have dinner with? Hmmmm... Grace O'Malley. Anne Bonney. Yup, Whitman would be there...no Emerson or Thoreau, they were never too sure about old Walt. Nellie Bly... Mae West...
Girls night out! Oh, and Walt.
Are we picking who we'd like to have for dinner? I can do that. (I need a break anyway.) Fred Astaire and Cary Grant would have to be on the list. Katherine Hepburn too. Paul Newman, DaVince (we can go back that far, right?), and throw in Winston Churchill for good measure.
I need some royalty. Throw in Queen Victoria!
I just read that first line again and it sounds like I want to "have these people for dinner." Since my name is not Hannibal, I should fix that to say "have these people over for dinner."
Katherine Hepburn would be up there for me, too. I think I'm going for a girls night out thing...
I'm going to Bo'sun's dinner party. She picked the hotties. I'll bring Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly. And I wouldn't mind looking at a young Rock Hudson all night either. *LOL*
There was a quotation by Thoreau I think, I enjoyed, so I suppose I could meet him if necessary. And I'd like to hang out for an afternoon with Mark Twain.
Early Mark Twain, before he grew so bitter...
I'm tired of men. I just want a hen party with a lot of booze and maybe hottie servers.
No, I wouldn't mind hanging out with him when he was bitter. He lost his true love. I think he was allowed some bitterness.
Ah, here is the Thoreau quote that makes me smile: "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Which has now been stripped down and modern-fied into "Fake it until you make it, baby!"
Pull up a chair, Hellie. How could I forget Frankie? Hell, bring the entire Rat Pack. Those boys knew how to party.
I should have more women on my list. Marilyn and Jane Russell. And Ginger since she'd probably be the one to keep Fred in line.
Oh, I see my problem. Thoreau was the Walden pond guy; and Emerson was the one who wrote Self-Reliance. (All I know is both of these booger-heads bored the crap out of me in high school. And our teacher LOVED these guys so we studied them a long time. Gah.) My apologies for mixing them up.
Too many men who know how to dance and I don't. So, I'd end up watching too much.
I'm sure we studied those guys but I have purged them from my memory. Not due to liking them more or less, simply out of necessity to fit some more pertinent stuff in there.
Transcendalism...ahhhhh! I found them so restful and enlightening to read...
Gene will show me how to dance. He doesn't mind. And those boys can LEAD. 90% of it is how well can the guy lead. If they are leading good enough, they will make you go where you need to be. It's all about confidence, control, and strength--and those guys had it.
I don't mind having Marilyn or the other girls. Old Hollywood. I love it.
*snoring* What? Huh?
I was so TIRED of poems and essays about trees I could scream. I was never so happy as the day I discovered the Lord Byron poem and realized there was a cool dead guy who wrote about sex. It was so exciting.
I had to google Thoreau and found this quotation. Hilarious!
Modern historian Richard Zacks pokes fun at Thoreau, writing:
"Thoreau's 'Walden, or Life in the Woods' deserves its status as a great American book but let it be known that Nature Boy went home on weekends to raid the family cookie jar. While living the simple life in the woods, Thoreau walked into nearby Concord, Mass., almost every day. And his mom, who lived less than two miles away, delivered goodie baskets filled with meals, pies and doughnuts every Saturday. The more one reads in Thoreau's unpolished journal of his stay in the woods, the more his sojourn resembles suburban boys going to their tree-house in the backyard and pretending they're camping in the heart of the jungle."
ROTFLMAO Now if I'd had that bit of information about him, I might have enjoyed him. But no, he had to be a blowhard the entire time I read about him.
Geez, it's the ideas he came up with. Yes, could have been in a treehouse, would have still been revolutionary. Maybe even more so!
Walt has a lot of sex in his stuff, Hel.
I think you just had to have the right teacher! Or maybe it was just where I was in my life that it all rang a bell for me...
Hellie - Have you ever thought his stuff might be more interesting to you now? Just asking as I haven't any idea what his writing is like.
But I can see his stuff working for Chance and having the opposite effect on you. I think that is true of many writers. Henry James is one of the classics but have you ever tried to read his stuff? Not easy to get through, the man refused to end a sentence, and he hated women.
I doubt he'd get pubbed today. LOL!
Walt just rambles. He can't rhyme...and a lot of his sex is in the grass. I'm not interested. Period. Byron's was memorable, easy to quote, delicious and full of innuendo.
I assure you the right teacher wouldn't have done it. I'm just not a tree hugger and not interested in being one now. Their ideas remind me too much of the holy-roller environmentalism and "Pick a cause, any cause" picketing that makes me crazy.
I think a lot of classic authors would never get pubbed today. Which will tell a lot about this era in a century when lit classes are trying to find a subject to teach and explain why this author resonated for that era...and says nothing to the now.
Walt didn't want to rhyme. It's called free verse! Sex in the grass...hmmmmm!
How do we keep getting back to Thoreau and Whitman? LOL! Let it go, the both-a-yous.
That's my best Cagney impression. Maybe we should have him to dinner too....
And Bryon but then I want Shakespeare next to me.
I was going to say that Hemingway was bitter. I think I'd like to sit down with Emerson. Hemingway. Thoreau. Byron. Wilde. Emily Dickerson, the Bronte sisters, Austen. Can you imagine what kind of dinner party that would be? lol
And Audrey Hepburn. Grace Kelly. I have to have a couple of girls to talk fashion with at this dinner party.
Sin - I have this image of them all bickering about which one of them was better. LOL! Maybe that should be "is" better?
LOL, I'm not sure we want to have this dinner party. Would any of us get a word in edge wise?
A ball! We could have a huge ball and as hostesses, we are in demand. So we couldn't be ignored by all the glory around us.
I doubt it, but the food fight would be fun as hell.
I'm using this as an excuse to keep from reading any more provider agreements. Any more legal jargon shit today and I will snap like a twig in August.
Can you tell I'm rebelling and not doing anymore work? LOL! Piss on 'em!
I don't think I like the ball idea. This is about conversation over some great food (and wine for everyone else). Can't do a lot of conversing during a ball.
Sin - I'm witchya.
Hmmm. OK, scratch the ball idea. A grand supper would do... I want to bartend. Everyone talks to the bartender!
Well bartender load me up with some vodka. I'm ready to dance and have a bonfire made of paperwork.
Vodka? Wow, must have been a hard week. I'm feeling like tequilla as my poison...but I can fetch ya a vodka... Don't set yerself on fire, now!
Tequila just makes me happy and naked. Vodka is my poison of choice. I can drink a fifth and do a fire dance around the bonfire and have a merry time. It is Friday after all.
With a vat of vodka.
I like the grand supper idea.
Hmmm. Gonna be interesting to see where I can buy a vat of vodka...
Tequila can make me happy and naked, but will put me in the middle of a bar fight I started at the turn of a hair. You think the mood swings are interesting now--try me with tequila. It's like feeding the gremlins after midnight.
Rum makes me naked and happy.
Beer makes me sleepy and happy.
Vodka makes me gak.
Since it's summer, I'll take a Tangueray and tonic.
Looks like I'll need something to drink while I watch the naked dancing on the bar -- and the bar fights. :)
Why do I feel like we're going to make it into one of Donna's book under different names? LOL
LOL -- "going to"? :)
Bar fights are caused by whiskey. Whiskey is the devil's brew.
Whiskey just makes me vomit.
Of course Donna is going to put us in her book. She needs action and memorable characters, right? Why do you think she joined this ship?
Action I can give. Being memorable will only make me want to silence you. lol
That's more like it. Please put me in the same sentence as the Alan Alda reference.
Not to worry, gals -- you'll just be in the Dedication pages! LOL
Everyone's so dang feisty today! LOL I feel like I'm gonna get hit in the head with a flying tankard of rum! Or I'm gonna get in the path of a flying cutlass. LOL
Damn. I was hoping to make the t-shirt.
*biting lip* I so want to make a cock smacking reference to the flying cutlass remark but...
Oh well I guess I did. lalalala
The Flying Cutlass sounds like an awesome drink!
Don't let Sin have more than one. . . or five, of them! LOL
LOL. I'm a ninja. I will just find a way to sneak more.
Why do I feel like we’re going to make it into one of Donna’s book under different names? LOL Gosh I think that I already made it into one of her stories.
From a story written by a DC
http://www.avonromance.com/2010/05/avon-invites-you-to-be-the-writer-2/
"He bit back a laugh. Right now she was too much like her battleaxe of a mother for his taste."
I guess that I should be happy that she didn't call me "Old battleaxe of a motherblanker"!? ;)
Wow, I went to read the latest "shorts" and did you guys read the one by James. That one was a little, um, disturbing.
Hellie, I read that one earlier and it was very disturbing -- at first I kept thinking I wasn't reading it correctly!
Julie -- you know I wouldn't talk about my MIL like that! (Good thing I've got on my Kevlar wedding dress you gave me the other day! LOL)
Sin, the Ninja Drink Stealer. . .I like it!
James. I think that he is just plain Sick.
OMG, Donna, the Text link, I'm about to DIE.
My new favorite:
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
And it just got replaced with this one. OH. MY. GOD.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
LOL -- I haven't read any today. One of my faves last night was "my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests". LOL
Sounds like a realistic math teacher. Though, hey! That manager at Burger King may be earning more than that teacher!
I had to think about the 9 3/4 thing. But I got it! (so proud...)
I could spend HOURS reading that site. In fact, I laugh so hard, I bet that could be considered exercise.
There has been a cock smacking reference. The day is complete.
I love that website too. Another fave: "grape juice + vodka doesn't make wine". LOL
Ah, the day winds down and we wander a great deal... Per normal for the Revenge.
To sum up...I found my trip interesting. The gun stuff was enlightening. I've never been total anti-gun or for gun. I never imagined a machine gun for rent, anywhere! That was a trip and sorta made me both shiver and grin.
The smoking? Hell, I can remember smoking in restaurants here but it goes to show how you get used to one thing and find another shocking. A very jarring slap of reality.
You're not in California anymore, Chance!
Yeah, I got that!
The Bible church placemats still really bugs me, probably the most. But I'm very persnickity when it comes to how religions make their way into pubic consciousness.
All in all, all three of these examples show how easily it would be to use regional bits and pieces to toy with your characters, and your readers.
Now, where is that barrel of tequilla I squireled away for emergencies? Ah! And that full net of limes...the BIG salt shaker...and I'm in for the night!
Oooh? That was a salt shaker? WTH? I thought that it was a ... auuuhhh ... well you Know. It was big. And salty. And it shook...
Well. See if I ever listen to SIN again!
The little Pi-RAT-e!
;)
Chance, I'm glad that you enjoyed your trip.
Have a Lovely night y'all.
And Marnee
Good luck!
I learned my lesson my very first time aboard...never listen to Sin. Because of her I swam to the ship the first day!
Hellion - I agree with every word about Whitman and Thoreau. Bored me to tears. I hated them and even wrote an English paper my senior year about how Leaves of Grass was the biggest piece of crap I'd ever read.
Give me Byron and Nietzsche anyday!
Scapegoat! My new and bestest friend!! I knew you were brilliant. I hope you got an A!
Byron yes. Nietzsche's kinda a buzzkill with his God is dead thing. (Though I imagine that is quoted out of context.) But of the philosophers we studied, he was one of the ones I liked the most.
All opinions are welcome here. I totally disagree, but that is my opinion!
What grade did you get, Scapegoat?
Lol - it's okay I know I'm in the minority! :) in the paper I used Leaves to make the point that poetry and good writing were totally up for opinion- someone's awesome "Leaves" was someone else's boring crappy story. I did get an A on it, which was great since the paper was actually supposed to be about why Leaves was so great.
I do love teachers who grade on what you write, not what they expected you to write. I did that, too. With a Hemingway story where I got a meaning out of it that was totally different than what the class was 'supposed' to get out of it. I got an "A" and I asked him about it and he said I supported my arguments, so I earned the grade.
Teachers like that are just the best type. And, btw, this was the same teacher who instilled in me my love of Emerson, Thoreau and Whitman!
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