MMMMM....Men of a Certain Age
Words of Wisdom from Galley 'Ho, Santa...
I don’t know if you know this about me or not but I adore men. Just about all men. Tall ones. Short ones. Barrel-chested and stocky ones. Ones with abs cut like the cobblestones of some of the side streets in Greenwich Village. Chiseled features or dimpled cheeks.
Old or young…no, wait a minute. Not young. No boy toys for me. I think a well seasoned man is a treasure and a treat. For me, that man knows his own mind.
Done finding yourself? Great, step up to the mic.
Done negotiating your self-worth? Sign on the dotted line.
I just heard of a new series on television called Men of a Certain Age. My ears perked up. I looked up (I write with the TV on much like some folks write with music) and there was Scott Bakula, Andre Braugher and Ray Romano. Talking at a diner. Looking very handsome – to me. I want to know what these guys of a certain age have to say for themselves. I am, in a word, intrigued.
Where are they in their lives? I hope they explore this. How have they gotten to where they are and are they happy there? What’s next on their hit parade? In a clip from the show, Ray Romano quibs that he recently went to a mega store and bought a mondo-pack of 400 razors. Clearly, he says, at 48 these are the last razors he’ll ever buy in his life. I had to laugh out loud because he’s right. 400 razors at 48 years of life – these will be his last ones. Unless, his wife and daughters steal them from under his nose.
I think one of the best examples of a man aging gracefully would be George Clooney. His face has just enough lines on his to call him distinguished and not crinkly like a smoothed out piece of paper. He is also set to star in a movie about a man who’s traveled just long enough to find his dream woman and hit the 10,000 frequent flyer miles.
I see George Clooney as a man who clearly has enjoyed the journey that has been his life to date. He has been wildly successful but that success is not that old. He’s worked to get where he is though blessed with great genes and opportunities.
Connie Brockway has written two of the most delicious older men in her the two contemporaries she has written Hot Dish and Skinny Dipping. Here are men not of a mystery but of a history. They are not perfect by any means but I don’t think they would have worked in these books if they were. No one wants a perfect hero no matter what their age.
So what about you? What manner of hero – in real life or in fiction – appeals to you? Come on now, I know I’m not the only one here who appreciates a man as fine as a bottle of vintage wine.
Books by the Crew
48 comments:
Sorry this is late. Someone who shall not be named *cough*Santa*cough* sent it in the middle of the night. :)
PS, sorry for the long post. LOL!
I think that what has appealed to me has changed as I've grown.
When I was in my early 20s, I dated a few guys who were 10 (in one case, almost 15 years) older than I was. I found that I didn't really like the age gap. It works for some gals, but I preferred fellows my age and ended up marrying someone my age. He's in the same place that I am. He's never been married before (same as me) had only a couple of serious relationships (same as me so we had equal baggage). Neither of us were even that settled into a career path at the time.
Seven years have gone by and now we're in our early thirties and doing our family building thing and I appreciate that he's grown into a man and a fabulous dad. I'd imagine that in 15 years, I'll think he's aging gracefully and I'll appreciate the history we have together. I hope in 35 years I'll think he's the hottest AARP card carrier out there. :)
In the same way, I find the latest crop of early 20-something movie stars, well, young and inexperienced. I like them like I like modern art: neat to look at but nothing I'd want around for long. I also don't find those movie stars 20 years older than me that attractive either. (Well, except George Clooney. There are always exceptions I suppose. What's not sexy about that guys smiling eyes?)
Marn - No apologies for length around here. ;)
I've always liked older guys, but not that I'm of a certain age, I'm not interested in ones too much older. But I would agree that in many ways, men tend to age more gracefully than women. If a man goes gray, he's distinguished looking. If a woman goes gray, she's starting to look like a hag. (I shall be coloring my hair tomorrow!)
I think there are very cute 20-somethings, but other than nice to at, no real interest for me. Which works out well since I am of no interest to them either. LOL!
And regarding heroes in books, I actually have a hard time if the dude is under, say, 28. In a contemporary? Upper 20s and lived a lot of life maybe. Otherwise, 30 or better for me.
Well, we all know what I prefer.
Like you Ter, I prefer the heroes in what I'm writing and reading to be right around 30 or older. While I know it happens, a dude and his girl being high school sweethearts and marrying with their HEA at 22 just sickens me and it's not fun for me to read. *ducking* Give me someone who's had their heart broken several times, lived through AT LEAST one super serious relationship and has some real baggage to work through.
I suppose what I am saying is that I like the conflict. And one way to get emotional conflict is to have characters who've had the chance to live.
I'm intrigued by this new show as well - and love me some Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap was so awesome!)
In my romances, I'm almost always drawn to the older hero. I'm not a fan of hero's in their 20's - they haven't lived enough for me to think they can know what love is and are ready to settle down. I like the hero who's had a past and some bad relationships. I'm def. a mid-late 30's girl in my romances.
I wish Manda wasn't working. She's got a "Kevin Costner" story that's hilarious about liking older men.
Ter - I do agree there's a bit of a double standard out there. Annoying.
I did need to disclaimer a little here.... I did date guys my age who weren't really that mature in their 20s, so it was more like dating a teenager. In my experinece, if they weren't grown up by then (still hung up on drama and games and whatever other shenanigans happen in the dating scene), they weren't probably going to be grown up ever. Maybe there are exceptions to that, but I'm not sure I've met any.
And I prefer my men like scotch. *grin* The older the better.
Sin - I still have my Robin Hood/Costner movie poster hanging in my room. It's in a really fancy wood frame, so I figure it's ageless. :)
Marn - As a woman attempting to date in her late 30s, there are many who never grow up.
I LOVED Quantum Leap. Especially when he'd leap into a female body. Always funny. I saw the commercials for this new show and I think I might check it out. It doesn't look like these guys are trying to be something they're not. They're just trying to figure their way through mid-life. Which ain't easy, let me tell ya. LOL!
I wrote a forty-year-old hero recently and hope I've not gone over the edge for readers. But he's hot, I swear, LOL. As a mature woman (vast understatement), I do appreciate men with a little mileage.
Is it wrong, Santa, that reading the first paragraph of your blog had It's Raining Men running on a loop in my head? Let's hope I don't accidentally break into song here at the office!
I've been struggling with the age question, personally and in my writing, recently. I just turned 30 a few weeks ago, and have been trying to figure out just what that means.
This summer, I broke down and signed up for an online dating service. As I was filtering my matches, my mom kept pointing out anyone over 35 and telling me they were too old for me, but trying to steer me towards the 25 year olds. Nevermind that I had more in common with the guys born in the same decade as me, or that they were in stable jobs and ready to settle down. Nevermind that my mom hated the one girl my brother dated who was older than him, for that reason alone. *eyeroll*
So I don't know where my age comfort zone is. While I can lust after the George Clooneys of the world (and frequently do - he gets hotter every year, IMHO), I don't think I could see myself with them. At that point, they may be a little too set in their ways - let's face it, relationships are about blending two lives together, and that's harder to do if you don't have any give left in you. But the Zach Efrons and Taylor Lautners of the world, as yummy as they are, remind me too much of the kids I used to babysit.
I guess what it comes down to is - give me Ryan Reynolds any day. :)
Kelly - Do not let your mom give you a complex! LOL! And Ryan just turned 33 (I looked it up) so that's perfect for you. 35 is not too old for you, but I don't think you'd want one over 38. Then again, as we've said over and over, it's mental age and maturity that matter so much more than that number.
Which is what makes online dating so difficult. I've done it on and off for years, with very little success. I've finally determined, if the Universe doesn't through Mr. Perfect-for-Me in my lap, I'll just stay single. LOL!
Have to say, I am a huge fan of Scott Bakula. I can't even think about the topic and now I'll be thinking about Scott Bakula all day. LOL Quantam Leap is like my #1 influence of why I love paranormal and want to write it. I LOVED that "oh, boy" moment, what he said every time he jumped into someone else and some other time. And I also loved him as the captain on Star Trek Enterprise.
I guess his roles are actually very close to the kind of hero I love in fiction. A leader, but somehow always thrown into situations that test his intelligence and show his humor. A hero that is approachable and somewhere in between alpha and beta.
Melissa - You describe my perfect hero. The intelligent charmer who can kick ass when necessary. That's my guy. :)
I didn't mention age, but I do think that in order to have the experiences my ideal fictional hero has to draw on that he'd have to be in 30's or older. I can't even imagine a contemporary hero in a traditional romance novel in his twenties. That would put him in a whole different genre, in my opinion.
I love Marnee's comment on 20-somethings being like modern art; neat to look at but wouldn't want to have it around very long.
Yep, Bo'Sun...and throw in a "devilish grin" and that's pretty much the package. And physically, the "tall, dark and handsome" cliche works for me!
Actually, I am a bit concerned I might have a carbon copy hero image in my head and wonder if he's the same guy in a different story!
Mia culpa, Terri. As usual, I sent this to her in the dead of the night. She always comes up the mark, lol.
I am sooo happy to see that you guys share my love of an older guy. There's just something about that knowing twinkle in their eyes.
I do have to confess here that I had crushes on older guys but they were only a year or two older than I was. I did marry an older man. My DH is nine months older than I am. We met at the 1964 World's Fair in Flushing Meadows Park, New York. Really.
So having known him all these years, I'd have to say he is aging rather nicely. His azure eyes are surrounded by crow's feet but there are still heart stoppers for me. He has all his glorious Black Irish hair - though generously streaked in white. It makes him look, well, like an older wild Irish rouge to me. Here. Here. To good genes, his brothers are aging rather nicely for themselves, though I'd hesitate to tell them that - egomaniacs that they are.
And I also like an older hero in my books and, lately, the heroine doesn't necessarily have to be a just out of the schoolroom miss, either. Give me an older bluestocking anyday. The same holds true for the contemporaries I've been reading. Toni Blake also did a great job of this in her books. Not too old and not too young. Jodi Thomas' 'Rewriting Mondays' also has a great hero in it.
I'll be back later. Banana Head is hacking up a lung and so we're off to the doctor, then work, then writing tonight where I'll pop in.
Gah. It ate my comment!!! #*(&@(&$#! This is not my morning.
When I was younger--think womb to teenager, I loved OLDER men. After all my father was an older man and I adored him (and he was 53 when I was born, so I was pretty flexible about the May-December romances I fancied for myself). I totally do not mean this comment to come off in a Antigone sort of way. I'm just saying, I didn't really think of my Dad as old...so age gaps of 10-20 years didn't phase me a whole lot. Which is good because that meant George Clooney, Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Harrison Ford, and Mel Gibson were all in my age range.
Also older men were NICER. Teenage boys don't give you the time of day--because well, they're teenage boys. When I was 16, I thought the perfect boy age was 22, until I was 22 and met other 22 year old men and realized, Wow, that's so wrong. They're almost dumber than their teenage selves.
In my 20s, I preferred guys within a 5 year radius of myself--no one over 30, clearly they can't be trusted and 30 is so oooollllld. (Weird, right? Except for Alan Rickman, who is magical.)
The few guys I've dated tend to be a bit younger than me. Weird. And the guy I'm dating now is 6 months older than me. I am the youngest woman he's ever dated, he confessed. He prefers older women. I said if he continues this trend, he'll eventually end up with a college aged love interest. I also told him the only reason he preferred older women was because they were more likely to put out.
You think older women are more apt to put out? *thinks about it* Yep, you're right.
When I was 20, I liked guys anywhere from 25 to 30. Then at 24, married a guy 18 mos younger. Not sure what I was thinking. LOL! Since that ended, I've only dated guys my exact age or slightly younger. No idea how this happens either. Don't want to think about it.
Bo'sun, no worries you married a younger man and that was why he was an idiot. Clearly he's older now and is getting dumber by the day. Some apples just ruin the whole cart.
I'm with Marnee on the art metaphor. There are many kinds of art I can appreciate aesthetically that I have no desire to live with. Then there are those pieces that I see and fantasize about taking home with me. The mature hero, in books or on screen, is my equivalent of the latter group.
Of course, I've been sighing over George Clooney since he was on Facts of Life, and he just gets better every year. And my favorite Scott Bacula role was Peter on Murphy Brown.
I don't think it's likely to happen, but I'd love to see more older heroes in romance fiction. I loved the Roz Harper-Dr. Mitchell Carnagie romance in Nora Roberts's The Black Rose. And I can't wait to see Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin in It's Complicated.
Ah, yer tootin' me horn, Santa! Give me a man with some silver at the temples.
Scott! Aye, fell in love wit' him back in the Leap days. Liked Dean Stockwell in it, too!
Me DH is actually a mite younger than me...but I likes ta read 'bout the older hero. I be the one who brought Barbossa aboard...yummy! (Once I got 'im ta clean his teeth and get a facial.)
Love the crinkle at the eyes...
And loved Skinny Dipping! I'll 'ave ta search out the other book yer recommendin'.
Janga - Even me Mum, who ain't a big movie goer, be intrigued by "It's Complicated" ... looks delicious!
Obviously I don't get out enough. I never know any of the books talked about around here. *sigh* In my next life, I want to own a bookstore.
Chance, I loved Skinny Dipping too. I hope Connie Brockway will write more women's fiction.
Must look up It's Complicated though I think I saw a commercial for it somewhere.
I have Skinny Dipping on my TBR. I'll get to it...someday.
I think I did like George back in the Facts of Life days, but I fell completely with his Doug Ross days. Light years better than McDreamy.
Amen.
Okay, I just watched the trailer. I HAVE to go see that movie.
Santa, I'm definitely with you. I like'em older. I've always gone for them older just cause I couldn't stomach the immaturity of the guys my age. And Terri is right, they sure do age a lot better than women do. There is nothing like a fit forty+ man who is settled, knows his own mind and knows how to get what he wants out of life. That is very attractive and I love to read about them.
I also love what Sin said about liking conflict and them needing time to acquire some baggage. That is very insightful. Have you ever sat down and talked about lost love with a man who has really lived, loved and lost? It's a different conversation than you'd have with a young'un just out on his own.
It's Complicated looks pretty funny. I saw previews for it when we went to see Couples Retreat.
The difference between a youngun and an older man is that the older man has had time to reflect and realize the mistakes made and time to think about change. The youngun is determined to still be set in his ways, doesn't realize the mistakes he's making or had time to reflect on them.
Not to say older men don't screw up. They just usually do it less frequently and with less severity. LOL!
It should also be noted that there are younger men who are old souls and, more commonly, older men who are perpetual adolescents.
Exactly, Janga. Just as there are women in their 40s who seem determined to pretend, and act like, they are still in their 20s.
I've gotten to where I've determined I just want a grown up. Whatever age that is, I just ask that he be a grown up. And that is proving damn near impossible to find. Well, in single guys any way.
The danger of marryin' yer high school sweetheart is both of ya never really grow up. Throw in no kids and life is one big after school special... My DH is not a grown up. But then again, neither am I!
I like the concept a' the older man who knows the hazards of movin' too fast... Who know the glory a' the slow hand...
*shiver
I mean Skinny Dipping!
Hot Dish and Kinny Dipping are both on my keeper shelf.
My hubby is a whole 4 months older than me! LOL
But, I have donw both the much older and much younger route. When I was 18, I took a 15 year old to my Sr. Prom - I know! BUT, he was a Jr. already and headed to Harvard...I did have some standards!
In college, at 18 I dated a 32 year old who was back at college getting his doctorate. I think it helped me realize what a "man" could be in terms of attitude and personality.
Kinny Dipping...sounds like something they do on SouthPark. ;)
I haven't seen the trailer for It's Complicated but Robert DiNero's new movie also looks pretty good. And Drew Barrymore is in and that's always a plus for me. I just want to make sure Bobby's happy at the end of the movie, lol.
Oh, and someone mentioned Ryan Reynolds earlier. Delish in his own right. I'll be watching him to see how well he ages, lol.
Now Sabrina has me thinking. I've never really dated a much older man. Hell, I've never dated a guy who would qualify as older. Perhaps I should try it. Before I reach an age where older means using a walker.
I've always thought that it wasn't fair that most men age better than women. Sean Connery, I don't care how old he is, he is still hot. Every time I think of him I think of that line of Goldie Hawn's in First Wives Club about his age and him still being a stud. Richard Gere, I think he has gotten better with age. John Travolta, the same, much better looking now that he is older.
I might be the only woman on the planet who does not think Connery is all that and a set of bag pipes.
Well, I like 'is looks, but not sure about 'is personality. I've read some fairly chauvenistic things that set me teeth on edge 'bout 'im. Now, if'n we could get 'im aboard the ship and teach 'im the error a' 'is ways...
Richard Gere...yummy. And John Travolta, long as 'e ain't talkin' 'bout dyanetics...
I guess we ended the blog early today. Huh. I would have thought talking about men would have gone on all night. :)
I guess we did finish early - never a good thing if you get my meaning. ;)
I'll check back again after I've written a word or two or three.
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