Wednesday, October 29, 2008

NJ RWA Conference – A Conference Newbie’s Awesome Experience


For two days, I got to hang out with a bunch of women (predominantly) who love writing and books as much as I do.  It was awesome.  I would love to throw out words that are more descriptive, more apropos, but I really have nothing else for you.  Awesome covers it.


This week I’ll give you a run down on my initial impressions.  In the next few weeks I'll delve into the different workshops and things I learned.  Too much for one post.


First of all, I was amazed by the sheer number of writers at the conference.  I’m not sure of the exact amount but there appeared to be at least a few hundred in attendance.  The excitement, the collective enthusiasm for a common goal, shared amongst so many, was overwhelming. 


These events make a person realize how incredibly familial the romance writing community is.


Frankly, at times it felt as if we had taken over the conference center.  There were romance writers in the elevator, romance writers in the lobby at all hours, romance writers in the hallways, and especially romance writers in the bar.


It was awesome.


I got to meet JK Coi and Tiffany Kenzie and I must admit that they are just as gracious and generous in person as they are on the internet.  I had such fun hanging out with them.



Pitching turned out to not be as daunting as I thought it would be.  Amazingly, editors and agents are just people too.  Who knew?   


The keynote speakers, Eloisa James and Lisa Scottoline, were both wonderful. 


The main idea behind their talks was the key to the entire conference, in my opinion.  Both women focused on owning the story we tell, about pouring ourselves into our stories to make them really come alive.


Lisa Scottoline pointed out those times when people who know you write come to you and say, “I have the best idea; you should write this.”  And she says she politely declines because that emotion has to be a personal experience.  We can’t use other people’s emotion because readers will be able to tell if we’re faking it.


Eloisa said we need to take our fears, our joys, our pain, and put it on the page.  Only that will feel authentic to others. 


And I'd heard such wonderful things about Eloisa James, about how sweet and kind she is, and it was all true, every word.  We had dinner with her on Saturday night and it was such a good time.  It was really great to meet her.


So, tell me about what you have put of yourself on the page?   What have you taken from yourself or your life to use in your story?  Has someone ever thought you should write “this great idea” they have?  What did you say?   


 

27 comments:

Tiffany said...

Phew... I was afraid we would blog the same stuff,so I stuck to the me, me, me in my blog. I want those pictures.

Lisa Scottoline is wonderful to listen to, she makes you laugh, and laugh hard! I've always had a great deal of awe and respect for Eloisa. She's gracious she is very kind, and above all, when you sit down with her, she's one of the girls and willing to talk about anything!

That was pretty consistent in what authors were saying. You have to pull a piece of yourself out, and pour it on the page, whether it be characters, story, whatever, it just has to be a part of you so you can draw on the emotion.

For Jinan I took my fear of losing my son at a young age. You might think that is weird, but here's the truth of it. I couldn't part from him for that first year. I didn't like other people holding him, he had to sleep in our bed because I refused to put him in the crib right beside it (my hubby, understanding man he is, eventually didn't mind this). I had a couple scares in pregnancy that probably instilled this fear, I bled (a lot) at my seven month mark, I thought I was going to lose him, and this came on the tail of finding out he had cysts on his brain and it could be some disease that would mean he wouldn't live past his first year of life.... so if you take all that, even though they sort of turned out to be nothing, you can potentially have scary things happen. And so, I did something I never wanted to happen to me and did it to Jinan. I took her one joy, her one love away from her and put her in a worst case scenario.

There are other bits of her character that are very me, but I won't tell you those pieces, I'll let you guess.

K, I'm stopping.

haleigh said...

Sounds like you had a great time Marn! I can't wait to hear more about the workshops.

In my current WIP, I definitely put my own restlessness and fear of commitment into the heroine. It made her do some pretty stupid things that I *cough* would never *cough* do. LOL. But it worked (I think!) because it was never anything specific, just those general character traits.

Maggie Robinson said...

Great pix! You're at Vauxall today too!

Hmm. I suppose I've felt misunderstood all my life.*wipes tear from cheek* Only child, too. Isolated.*grabs more Kleenex for pity party* Lonely.*bawling* My heroines suffer from all that too. Interesting. I never questioned why I write what I do.*going back to bed*

JK Coi said...

I knew I should have confiscated cameras...

Marnee Jo said...

Tiff - that is terrifying. Good heavens. But I bet putting it all into Jinan gave some good therapy. I'm not sure I've put something so personal into mine. Parts. My heroine is afraid of being rejected because of who she is and probably everyone feels like that a little. And my hero feels misunderstood a lot. Probably pretty universal too. But not a specific I guess.

*Passes Maggie a tissue* It's alright dear. Glad we could help with the self-realization. I'll send you the bill. LOL!!

Hal - I would love to see a restless/commitment-phobe heroine. Sometimes I feel like only the heroes get that trait.

The workshops were pretty good. The editor's panel was enlightening.

JK - hush, you look just lovely.

Janga said...

It sounds as if you had fun and learned some good stuff, Marn. And I love seeing the three of you and having faces to put with the names. Thanks for sharing.

My heroine in TLWH is not a risk taker. She wants a safe, ordinary life. That's a piece of me. And I consciously used my relationship with my maternal grandmother to create Dori's relationship with her great-grandmother, although her mother is not much like mine. My hero, on the other hand, I've given traits I wish I had. Hmmm. I wonder what that means.

Santa said...

The NJ RWA conference is an amazing experience. I am so psyched that you had such a marvelous time and got so much out of it. Yay, on the great pitch session.

And Eloisa's advice is spot on. I've based my heroines and heroes on experiences and people I have known. Strong women and exceptional men. My own fears as a young woman of never trusting that I would meet someone who would love me. Extremist thinking now that I am on the other side having met said man and living my own HEA. But the journey is what I write about. Trusting and believing no matter what life throws at you (and life can dish out some pretty horrible things) there is, in the end of it all, love.

Now if my deli thugs would just stop telling me stuff to put in my books. I try to tell them it's romance not horror. Sigh. They never listen.

terrio said...

The conference euphoria! Isn't it great? LOL! The pictures look great and sounds like a good time was had by all. I remember how cool it was to look in any direction and see all the writers. They are everywhere at things like this.

I actually touch on this subject in my blog on Monday. I have an element in my WIP that is very reflective of a pattern in my life. And my guess is my heroine is somewhat like me. Or more how I used to be really. She's pessimistic, expects the worst, and has little faith in anything good happening to her. Partly because she doesn't think she deserves anything good.

I'm positive my hero is my version of exactly what I'd want in my own hero. He's not perfect by any means, but he's a good guy. That sounds like a lame description, but I bet lots of women know exactly how hard it is to find a good guy.

Sin said...

You guys looked great! And look at the smiles on your faces! Made me remember about the Spring Fling and the great time we all had there.

Mattycakes always has great ideas. Ideas that *I* wouldn't write in a million years and had no ideas to write about. Although when I was plotting Double Vision he was pretty helpful with me figuring out the whole how-do-I-hook-them-together thing about the murders. Sometimes he's pretty smart.

My heroines and heroes are trustaphobes. They don't like to trust anyone, lean on anyone or ask for help, ever. Not that this is a holdover trait from me or anything.

Shut up.

I'm not an overly emotional person either. Sometimes I find it really hard to transfer emotions from character to page because a particular emotion is not something I'd experience or allow myself to experience. Writing has been a learning experience for me. Some emotions are very easy to recall and write (heartbreak, pain, agony) but others are harder (like Hm, I dunno, everything else). My characters are usually not really close to their family either. Not only does it make it easier for me to write their distance from others, but it gives me less to worry about when complicating the plot.

Hellion said...

*ROTF* Mattycakes does have some great ideas. His ideas about blogs being the most notable. "Talk about boxes! I love to play in boxes!" For the love of God...

I was despairing about the end of my GOGU book once while out at lunch with Holly and a grad student named Anthony. "I don't know what to do about the ending." Anthony: "I think he should die in a car crash." Holly: "Ooh, that's good! Like the car drives off a cliff and explodes in a fiery blast!" Anthony: "The brake lines were cut!" Me: "Guys! I'm writing a ROMANCE NOVEL. They're supposed to end up together." Them: "That's boring. You need to be more a maverick, Fran. Cut brake lines are how you should end the book."

2nd Chance said...

I must admit...I've dealt with me mum-in-law through my characters. And it was so good...really got to put it all out there regarding the woman's self-centered manipulation of her son...

I had my heroine have to say goodbye to her beagle after many faithful years of service. We both cried over that one for days...

I agree, lends authenticity. Was just conversing of this with my writing partner yesterday.

Great pics, looks like a mondo conference. I'm so looking forward to RT in April!

Hellion said...

As for what I put of me in books...I'm with Janga. I do sorta write heroines living a life that I like: they live alone, rather quiet, and they keep visits with their families short and infrequent. Hermits, the lot of them. (Not unlike me. I have a very hermitish behavior about me.)

I see bits of me through out my stories...even in how the men behave sometimes. *LOL* When Livie does her nervous breakdown right before she and Ben make love--that is so me. My God, it makes me cringe whenever I read it. Not that I've technically had a nervous breakdown before having sex...but man, it's me all over. I can't stand for people to read it because I know everyone who reads it knows it's me...it's really me.

terrio said...

I forgot to answer the writing ideas from other people question. I don't get this much because I don't talk about writing much with anyone outside our little writing community. I did visit an author friend in the hospital and this crazy male nurse decided to tell us what we should write. It was all about this crazy male nurse who snaps and kills his patients in the most gruesome ways. I tell you, I was very happy SHE was his patient and not me. LOL!

And my heroine is much like Sin describes. Very stubborn and would saw off her own hand before she'd ask for help. I'll be the bigger person and admit, that describes me perfectly. LOL!

ReneeLynnScott said...

Oh, I've been waiting all week to hear about how the conference went. What I really wanted to know is, how the pitch went?

Tiffany, I can't imagine the fear you must have felt. I had my first at 18 and I swore everyone I came across would try to take her away. The child was a late walker because I carried her every where in fear that if she had bruised on her legs, like little ones get when the fall, that someone would scream abuse. Stems from childhood, I tell you.

My heroine, wants to be loved and accepted, something that I myself never really felt. I never felt I could do anything right, no matter how hard I tried to make people happy. I finally gave up and am much happier myself.

Anyhooo, I had a big old long piece here about putting myself on the pages, but I moved it to my blog so I wouldn't take up so much blogspace and become a downer. Not that I'm down about it, it's just I really put myself on the pages.

Renee

Marnee Jo said...

Gah, I'm slow getting back today. Sorry about that ladies. :)

Janga - I think my heroine has my romantic nature, especially when I was younger. It is fun to figure out why we arrange characteristics as we do.

Ter - the good guys are hard to find! There's a part in my story where my heroine is asked what kind of husband she'd want and she responds that "nice" is important. The asker says that nice isn't all the hard to find and my heroine insists that it is harder than people think. I think
that's sooo true. :)

Santa - the deli thugs! LOL!! Though I know how that goes. I always feel like people suggest things for me to write that they'd like to write. Someone said I should write a business manual and my dad used to say I should write short snippets that were funny, like Erma Bombeck. I think it's the little bit of writer in everyone.

Marnee Jo said...

Sin - Thank you! I thought we looked pretty spiffy as well.

That's hilarious; trustaphobe. LOL!! Though my characters' parents are all dead or gone. It is easier than leaving them there to complicate my plot. LOL!!

2nd - awh about the beagle. How sad. That stuff kills me. :( But it does make it authentic. :)

Hellion - that's hilarious about the fiery crash. Honestly though, I think people go to sad or death as an ending because it's so much easier to picture. I think that one of our challenges is creating happy endings that feel true. It's easy to see people ending badly. (we do live in the real world, after all).

And I like the word hermitish. I'm going to use that sometime soon.

Marnee Jo said...

Ter - crazy nurse! Good grief. Did you want to pack your bud up and get out of there asap?! Sheeshh.... Try hiding some of the hatred for your work, ya know?

Renee - The pitch went great, I think. I ended up with two partial requests. Here's the pitch, "Cory Wagner is no ordinary debutante; she’s an orphaned witch who must secretly protect her guardian from his wife’s killer. Julian Stockdale, Viscount Masonfeld, is determined to expose the real killer to clear his name of suspicion. But when Cory’s clumsy efforts accidentally cause the death of Julian’s only suspect, she must convince him that the magic they make together is more important than society’s absolution."

One agent told me she doesn't like Regencies but to send the partial to one of her colleagues, the other agent said she's looking for erotic. My stuff isn't erotic. But the editor I saw sounded interested, at least tentatively.

Elyssa said...

My new hero has a sailor's mouth. I have no idea where he got that from. *w*

I definitely think I put a bit of myself in my characters and then they become their own person. It's kind of like giving birth in a way...your characters might have some of your characteristics, but then he/she starts living and does things you wonder how the hell you created this thing.

terrio said...

Good point, Ely. Though I can spot definite parts of me in Celi, she's not me. Not at all. She's Celi and in my mind, she's uniquely her own person.

Hellion said...

Terri: you're in such denial.

Marnee Jo said...

Ely - LOL on the sailor's mouth! :) I think I do something like that. I sort of have a characteristic that I want to magnify, then I build a character around that.

I will refrain from the Celi argument, having not read much of Letting Go.

terrio said...

Yep, that's my address. :)

Irisheyes said...

Awesome pictures, gals! Looks like you had a great time. Isn't it kind of surreal to meet people you feel as if you kinda already know? Very fun!

I think I do put a little bit of me in my heroine and make my hero a little of what I'd like and what I know. The more I write, though, I turn my heroine into what I wish I were at times instead of who I actually am. I would assume that prolific writers or those around for a long time start out with who or what they know and then branch out into giving their H/H all different types of personalities.

Nobody really knows I write (except for the DH) so there really isn't anyone to make suggestions. Although he has, half in jest, suggested we collaborate and write a book together. I'm pretty sure that would pretty much drive me insane.

terrio said...

Irish - Reading your comment made me think about the heroines I have floating around in my head (impatiently!) waiting to have their stories told. Three of them are very similar and what I would describe as who I wish I was. They are slender, successful, quiet, and elegant.

But there is one other that is more like me and of course, she's the one in the romantic comedy who goes through one crazy mess after another. I think I liked this better when I didn't analyze my characters too deeply. LOL!

2nd Chance said...

I love writing a character with a good smutty mouth on her! Not necessarily true to life...more like my alter ego. The things I wished I felt free to say, the way I want to say it. Full of vivid filth and profanity.

Honestly, sometimes people are just total asswipe fuckheads and there is no other way to say it!

Oops.

Santa said...

I think 2nd's heroine is channeling Ely's hero. Not that I've ever heard Ely swear. I've read it, I've just never heard it.

terrio said...

Santa - no one swears as cool as you do. It's the accent. ;)