Pride of Ownership
While I was busy last Saturday, trying not to die of heat and humidity, I was studiously and judiciously using my time to channel-surf the cable when I stumbled upon a show about House-Flipping. It was a two-fold educational experience, I assure you, because firstly I watched the woman of this man-woman pair manipulate the hell out of her husband. I laughed even as I wondered: does this guy not watch the final product? Is he this unaware she is playing him right into her capable hands?
Apparently he is fined $100 every time he swears; and that money gets put in additionally into the budget for restoring the house. What does the woman do? She instigates fights and situations that has this man cussing the air cerulean, while she smiles and calmly leaves chaos in her wake. She is careful to let him believe he’s Boss and respect him, but I know who’d I’d be going to if I wanted something done. It was just so artfully done. And I’ve seen my niece, barely 21, employ this same technique on her husband, with the same brilliant results. Someone should teach a class. I’d go.
While I was admiring this woman’s chutzpah and verve, the guy himself also amused me…and got my respect, even if he adored four-letter words. At one point, he calmly reamed the owners of the house by saying, “You guys need to rent.” And then he brought me to my second lesson of the day: Pride of Ownership.
What is Pride of Ownership? Clearly it’s to do with house-owning versus renting; and it’s a mental game. It’s why good homeowners are always mowing their lawns fastidiously (in the same direction), make proper repairs so the roof doesn’t cave in over their heads, and don’t do extremely tacky things like paint their Victorian a gaudy purple and put pink flamingo statues in front of it. (Although I’ve seen those people: they are rather proud of the paint job…but I think you know what I mean.)
It’s subjective. There’s no price value. It’s caring about your property before anybody else; and caring about your property even if no one else seems interested in it. In fact, since you’re the owner, you’re going to care the most, regardless, so you might as well own it and enjoy it. Be proud. Do it right. Brag about it and show your meticulous yard off with pleasure.
Same goes with your manuscript. It’s your intellectual property; and hell, you went to the trouble to finish the damned thing. You have a 100,000 word story that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. The percentage of people who manage this is really quite small. Most people will just tell you they’ve got a story—and want to talk about it. Or get you to write it for them. Now, admittedly, your first draft isn’t going to be a Beverly Hills mansion yet. But it has potential; and you should treat it accordingly and with respect. If you don’t respect your property, nobody else will either.
If you want converts, you’re going to have to be a convert yourself. Atheists can’t sell Christianity. You’re going to have to be the first believer and then show some pride of ownership. The gaudy Victorian people are actually quite happy with their results, even if very few people appreciate the color purple. But you wait long enough: even the gaudy people have an audience.
So have some Pride of Ownership. Finish your property, then set about painting and restoring that novel to the gaudiest, happiest, angstiest, funniest, and bestest book you can write—then invite people over to admire it. You’ll have some takers. Really.
So, do you guys have Pride of Ownership? And better yet, do you guys know how to do that manipulation thing that woman was doing? I’m telling you, it was phenomenal! It was like watching The Husband Whisperer.
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28 comments:
Hellion,
This post is coming at the very best time. In fact, now I'm thinking you don't need manipulation classes since you can READ PEOPLE'S MINDS... and their needs.
LOL! Hellion, this is brilliant, seriously. I am just about to polish up my property, but I'm really looking forward to it.
:)
And I would never DREAM of manipulating my husband. (honey, you reading this?)
This reminds me of that line from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Something like "The man may be head of the family but the woman is the neck and she can turn that head any way she wants."
I was the manipulatee (?) in the past so I'm not sure I want to do that to anyone else. But I do have pride of ownership. And I don't even own an entire piece of property yet. LOL! My WIP is like me, still in the apartment phase. But there's nothing better than when I tell someone about it and they say things like, "Oh, that sounds good" or "I can't wait to read that!"
It's sort of like when someone walks into your new home and says, "I love what you've done with the place."
Huh. My husband and I tried to restore an 1820s farmhouse and barely lived to tell the tale. For a while the whole family was using the potty chair when he ripped out the bathroom. All the hot water came out from the cold water taps. There were bats. But I digress.
I have Pride of Ownership although I want someone else to do the hard work. Who wants to write my ending, LOL?
J Perry: I'm glad that my mind-reading classes are finally paying off! My bosses will be so pleased, because they're constantly annoyed I'm unable to read their minds... *grins* And you should totally be doing Pride of Ownership! You're going to the RWA conference with Terr, right? Swagger around and talk about your book! That's what a conference is for!
Marnee: *nodding conspiratorially* Of course you don't. And you have a beautiful Money Pit--it won't take much paint or wallpaper to make it really awesome!! :)
Terr: I was TOTALLY thinking MBFGW when I was writing this blog yesterday and thinking about this chick. I think that must be where she got it from. Seriously. It was totally like that.
And EXACTLY: you're going for the, "I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE PLACE..." And then you can go, "Yeah, I know"--without explaining you've spent the last 6 months feverishly doing revisions and questioning your own use of every ly word in the manuscript.
Maggie: That sounds like MY house right now, and it wasn't built in the 1820s, I'm afraid. We don't have bats though, as far as I know, but my sister does at her trailer. (Think Jeff Foxworthy crossed with Deliverance--and you have a scope for the setting I actually live in...)
And I'm with you: I want someone else to do the hard work. *LOL* Still...you'll get there. You're brilliant, Mags, and nobody can do it as well as you're going to!
Oh, good idea. Act like we do when we've spent $100 on that new dress and someone tells us how great we look. "This old thing?" LOL!
So when they say how great your story is, smile and nod and say, "This old story? Why it just came together easy as can be." They don't have to know you used to have more hair.
I know! And they'll hate you and talk about how hard THEIR story is coming together...and you can nod sympathetically.
Great blog Hellion! You know, we have an old Victorian in our neighborhood that they painted (no lie!) highlighter green with poop-brown trim. And the porch is bright yellow. Seriously. But you know, each time I drive past it, it grows on me a little more.
I think, like Terri, my WIP is still in its apartment phase. Complete with Goodwill furniture and posters of bands on the wall. But I can feel the end coming - she's packing up and looking for a realtor *g*
Haleigh: you should leave a pink flamingo in their yard. It'll add character. And you'll totally get bonus points if it's a LIVE pink flamingo.
LOL! When I drive to Knoxville there's one old Victorian I pass that has been painted purple with pink trim. I LOVE that house. LOL! The wrap around porch, the spires. *sigh* I want that house.
Though I'd re-paint, promise. And I've seen those yards full of flamingos. Here's it's like a fundraiser. You pay to have them put in your neighbors yard then they have to pay to have them moved to someone else's. All the money goes to charity. It's sort of like paying it forward only your sending harassment with the money.
Actually I think Victorians are supposed to be brightly painted...rather than white. More historically accurate or something. Or was that simply some rationale from a woman who painted hers bright green? I'm not sure...but I believed her.
OMG, that's totally funny. I rather like flamingoes...so I'd probably keep them a while.
hmmmm.....there are cute little pink flamingos at the zoo here. I wonder what it would take to get one moved to their yard....
Terri - I love that! I know a couple people I would totally pay to put a flamingo in their yard!
OR you could buy these:
http://echters.stores.yahoo.net/pinkflamingo.html
Then leave a ransom note that they must donate to a charity before they'll be removed. *LOL*
Yes!!!
Oh, this isn't just one flamingo. This is a plethora of flamingo. LOL!
BTW - that house in the picture you used is totally F'd up. LOL!
Wonder if they have the flamingos in Pittsburgh?
We saw a 3 foot tall, moving lit flamingo in a garden shop. Wanted so badly to buy it for my sister's house. This may sound sick, but my brother-in-law hated them, so we figure,if we put it in his front yard, he'll come down from heaven to tell us about it.
Prince's house is painted purple. I don't think it's a Victorian. LOL.
Great post, Hellion! Love the picture of that house. :-)
Terrio, 'this old thing' with a southern twang. LOL. Give it your best shot when we meet on Wednesday. :-D
Prince definitely needs some flamingo decor...think we can send them special delivery to his house?
Hi Kathy!!! How's it going? You excited about the conference?
DJS--I have a couple brother-in-laws I'd like to annoy...but unfortunately they can actually return to my house. (Even the one divorced from my sister. I don't think the divorce, 20 years ago, has sunk in yet. He still comes at holidays and stuff.)
Thanks for asking, Hellion. I'm so not ready. LOL. I finally started getting outfits together today so I'm not clueless as to what to put on. My excitement is surging though. I'm going to the Beau Monde's Historical Conference on Wednesday and found out I'd signed up for a class to taste Regency food. I'm going to be in heaven. This is a dream come true for an historical writer. Live it. Eat it. Witness and touch historical costumes, etc... :-D
I'll be pitching my pirate book on Friday and I admit to being a bit nervous. Please gather the crew for a few hurrahs to buoy me spirits. Arrr!
Perhaps Terrio and I can practice pitching over rum. LOL. I'm sure there be a tavern within reach.
Awwww, thanks Hellion. I needed the reminder. I've worked hard and I've completed my 100ks, but I'm not taking a lot of pride in painting. I'm wanting to cop out, too much work and all that.
By the way, I have some manipulation skills, but I also have 20 years of practice with him. ;)
Renee
Renee pointed me in this direction, and I'm so glad she did. Great blog! I've got the beginning, middle, and end all put on paper. Now for the new paint job, and maybe a garden gnome or two. :)
Sasha
P.S. Sadly, I don't have the manipulation thing down either, but I would love some lessons!
Key to Manipulation
Lesson #1
Kenny Roger's Gambler song. ;)
You got to know when to approach them and know when to stalk away.
Renee
Hey, I missed all this. LOL!
Kathy - consider it mandatory bar time. I'd love to hear your pitch. I do know a thing or two about pirates, being as I am one. And I'm not pitching (lucky me!) so you'll just have to put up with me rambling about the WIP.
Renee - Slap some paint on that property of yours. Just think, all the realy hard stuff is done. Now it's just a bit of spit and polish. I bet you kill 'em at poker. ;)
Sasha - Welcome!! So nice of Renee to spread the word. And if you can flutter those lashes, you've got all you need for Manipulating 101.
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