Though I am sure to be met with much chagrin from my pantsing comrades here aboard the boat, I have devised a goal spreadsheet of sort. A kind of time line in which I determine where I should be in my writing and how many pages I want to write a week, then how long total it should take me to write my book and sort of a tentative completion date.

May 25. That’s my completion date.

I see that you’re skeptical. If you think you’re skeptical, let me clue you in on the little conversation I had with myself over this date.

*GM cues the lights and allows her multiple personalities free rein aboard a makeshift stage on deck*

Little bitty voice: Whoooaa… huh? May 25 is really close. That’s, like, before the summer and stuff.

Calming voice: Yes, little panicky voice, that is before the summer and stuff.

Little voice escalating and becoming laced with hysteria: Well, how do you perceive we’re going to manage that?!

Calm voice again: Well, just like everything else happens, you naggy whiner. One bit at a time. It’s all mapped out here.

Little voice, now a loud obnoxious voice: Oh! I see how you are! You think this spreadsheet, with its color coding and pretty mathematical calculations, is going to help you in those moments of writer’s block sure to come?!

Calming voice, with a sigh: Um, no, I realize this is just a spreadsheet, nitpicky pain in my ass. I do know I will have to write the book myself.

*The lights return to normal and GM gives a sheepish shrug.*

I’ll spare you this part. Just imagine the amount of skirmish that would ensue if someone told the pirates on the RWR there would be no more rum. Ever. Yeah, it wasn’t pretty.

For some reason, the idea of a timeline frightens many and that includes me. Somehow, setting such goals/deadlines is more frightening than tackling the herculean task of writing a novel one page at a time with no definitive end in sight. Why is that?

I think it’s because if I miss the deadline, I could feel bad about it and lose momentum. This would jumpstart a downward spiral of declining self-esteem and loss of motivation, resulting in the imminent death of my WIP, perhaps even my writing in general. *panting in drama queen fashion*

I have thought of this, trust me.

However, I’m a procrastinator. If I don’t have deadlines, I’ll put stuff off until I can’t put it off anymore. Therefore, because no one is standing over me, expecting my completed manuscript, it gets set aside. “I’ll do it later,” I say. “I’ll work through that hard scene tomorrow,” I hedge.

Recently I realized that this was making me angry with myself. I’ve found out that I’m now that someone standing over me, expecting my completed manuscript. And the longer I put me off, the worse I feel about it.

Now, that isn’t to say that my date won’t get pushed back again. Originally, I’d set a goal to have my WIP finished by February. However, that was before changing it from a straight-up Regency to a paranormal Regency. I had to adjust. I assume that there may be more adjustments in the future. Vacations, family illnesses, etc. But, a little more accountability never hurt anyone. Or at least an attempt at accountability.

As the captain is so fond to say: this isn’t a rule, it’s more of a guideline.

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. "~ William Shakespeare


As pirates, we face traitors in everyday battle. We overcome them, force them to walk the plank, then we smile as we glance over the ship’s rail to see them washed away by the forceful current of the ocean tide.

Many times in my life, I’ve attempted to remove failure from my vocabulary. I’ve seen people use the term failure to measure a person’s worth, and to me that is so wrong. Can you really call a person a failure until you’ve walked in their shoes?

As writers, we allow doubt to seep into our minds, and begin to question if we will ever succeed. Doubt can sneak up on you when you least expect it, tearing down aspirations and the confidence you have for your WIP. It explains why one day you feel you’ve written the best 5K you’ve ever produced and the next day you have no idea what you were thinking. The most confident writer has doubts; they have moments when they question their ability. It’s normal, we all do.

How you deal with doubt defines your progress.

The answer to doubt is as simple as the universal answer to most obstacles writers face. You continue to write, and then you write some more. I face all difficult tasks in my life in the same manner. I measure the difficulty of the task, and then I question my ability. Before I ever attempted to write a book, I asked myself why I should even try. The answer is because I enjoy writing and I have nothing to lose by trying. If I don’t publish, I still have the experience of the journey. No matter how successful I become I will always be a writer. Writing has become as much a part of me as my personality.

I don’t view a writer as a failure because of the inability to publish. It’s measured by how we choose to perfect our craft. We set ourselves up for failure if we never take our peer’s advice, never learn from our mistakes and instead make excuses for every criticism voiced about our work. There are so many resources available for writers; we have no excuse for not having a grasp on our profession. If you research long enough you will find the answers. If you ask questions often enough you will become empowered. If you write long enough you will hit your stride. If you network and make yourself visible, you will become a familiar name. If you visit a scene where your WIP takes place then you write it honestly. If you believe in the story you want to tell then you will strive harder to get it told.

Shakespeare had a beautiful point; treat the doubts in your mind as traitors. Why not use the negative as a positive? Write your doubts into a corner, and then every time you glance at that corner use them to fuel your desire for success.

How do you view failure? Do you base it on the inability to publish, or what you fail to learn on the journey? How do you keep doubts at bay when you become discouraged about your WIP? Who views doubt as an internal mechanism for alerting us that we’ve veered off course?

I am about to embark on one of the scariest journeys of my life. For the first time I’m going to write an original story of my own. I’m not breaking into the writing world like most traditional writers. My writing experience started in the world of Janet Evanovich fan fiction. *gasp* Yes I am aware of the stigma that surrounds the idea of a writer taking another author‘s characters and creating their own stories. I could argue that Janet Evanovich gives her permission for writers to create fan fiction using her characters. At one point in time, she even had a fan fiction section on her website. That doesn’t stop some critics from believing that fan fiction is a rip off of a published author’s work. But we’ll leave that subject for another day.

Fan fiction has had a tremendous impact on my life from a personal as well as a writer’s perspective. If I had not discovered fan fiction a little over three years ago, I wouldn’t be a writer. I also would not have found some of the best friends I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. (Sin)

When I discovered fan fiction, I consumed story after story trying to feed the obsession I felt for Janet Evanovich’s characters. As you all know I fell in love with her bad boy character named Ranger. For those of you not familiar with Ranger he has enough sex appeal to charm a nun out of her habit. He emanates from the page, and never strays far from your mind once the book is closed. Ranger is the main reason I am a writer. He fueled a desire in me to write a story where he gets the girl in the end, something that I seriously doubt will happen when Evanovich writes the last book in the series. Over 200,000 words later, I’ve given Ranger the girl several times over. I’ve also sexed him up with the girl, had him walk away from the girl, had him shot, had the girl walk away from him and had him die with the girl in a plane crash. In the process I learned how to write, and I gained the confidence to write something to call my own.

Those are the positive points of using fan fiction to break into the writing world, but now I’m struggling on a daily basis from the negatives. Fan fiction has always provided me with some of the most difficult things a writer has to create. I have to create my own canvas now. It’s all about me creating a story from the ground up. I admit in the last several weeks I have been cursing fan fiction, because no longer do I have Ranger as my crutch. I know Ranger inside and out. I know where he lives. I know of his habits, his occupation, and his flaws. I have been told no one gets inside Ranger’s head the way I do. Well good for me right? Now I have to create my own hero and hope I don’t fall flat on my face in the process. For me attempting to write an original story is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. I’m experiencing the fear of the unknown.

Fortunately, my desire to create my own story out weighs my fear. At least now when I sit down at the computer and attempt to write about my characters I don’t feel faint, or like running from the room, screaming like a little girl.

This brings us to the present, where I’m preparing to embark on my journey. I’ll describe the scene in detail.

The news helicopters are circling above me. The co- pilot is shouting the details of the scene before him in his headset for the story at 11. He reports that another fan fiction writer has decided to take “The Plunge”

So I’m standing on a ledge fifty stories above the city looking down. I can barely see the outline of the net, beyond the black moment, where I will find my HEA. If I close my eyes, I can visualize my computer key board, while character descriptions, plot devices, and the dreaded beginning are dancing through my mind. Ranger is sitting next to me on the ledge whispering “Proud of you Babe.” I look at him; wipe a tear from my eye and whisper, “Thanks for everything.” Then I smile and step into thin air.