Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Fabulous First Episode of DISCOVERY ISLAND With Captain Jack Sparrow: ANCHOR ISLAND


 JACK: Welcome, gentlemen and wenches, to another adventure of Discovery Island—

HELLIE: What are you talking about? I told you we were interviewing Terri today for her new book that’s out. Meant toBe—remember?

JACK: No, no, lass, the book interviews are a thing of the past, luv. Oprah took a book club break, and—

HELLIE: Right, and you’re the Pirate Oprah, so I see how that’s exactly the same. So what then is Discovery Island?

JACK: It’s my new and brilliant idea of introducing the public to newly discovered islands and showing them the sights so they want to visit.

HELLIE: And the first island you’ll be showing?

JACK: Anchor Island. *holding up a copy of Terri’s MEANT TO BE* I read all about it here in this tour book. Quite a lovely place, and I thought I would talk to some of the locals on the island who are featured in the tour guide.

HELLIE: I already see I’m going to need more rum.

JACK: Great idea, luvvie, and I will get started with my first question—where is that scallywag Joe? Now that’s a pirate. Steals his brother’s fiancée. Tell me, Joe, do pirates decorate your family tree?

JOE: Terri said I was just here to see a boat. And I did not steal my brother's fiancée. She was never really his to begin with.

JACK: No need to be defensive. It all worked out in the end, right? And you still get to live here on this lovely island? What is so special about Anchor Island anyway? What makes someone want to visit?

JOE: With Anchor, what you see is what you get. The people are real, the atmosphere is friendly, and the fishing is the best in the mid-Atlantic. You smell like you've been sleeping with fish. *waves hand in front of his nose* When was the last time you took a bath?

JACK: Recently. Just last August. But your fiancé, Beth, now she didn’t want to visit, did she? A bit of a landlubber.

JOE: Beth didn't have a problem with the island, it was the ferry trip required to get there. Her fear of falling off a boat and drowning is a real one, but I helped her through it. It wasn't long before I got her on my boat and helped her work through the fear.

JACK: *knowing leer* Definitely a pirate then, if you could convince a lass to climb aboard your ship, if you know what I mean, and dare to ride the rough seas.

JOE: Are you trying to make me kick your prancy little ass?

JACK: Touchy, touchy. Moving on. It seems there will be another tour book of Anchor Island coming out. Would you be able to tell us what we’ll be seeing and experiencing of the island in that one?

JOE: There's more beach, since Sid and Lucas both like to run up there. They're total opposites, and Sid pretty much hands Lucas his ass. I could have told him trying to get a handle on Sid was like trying to rope a hurricane, but little brother never listens to me.

JACK: What is your favorite thing about Anchor Island?

JOE: The water and having my family so close. There's nothing like being out on the boat. And my dog. Dozer goes everywhere with me.

JACK: Okay, fast five. Best place to get rum on the island?

JOE: DEMPSEY'S BAR & GRILL, of course.

JACK: Best place to find wenches?

JOE: If you're looking for a cheap thrill, which by the looks of you is the only thing you're looking for, I'd hit up O'Hagan's on a Saturday night. If you're looking for something more, that's tougher to answer.

JACK: *marks down O’Hagan’s* Best place to find a bit of treasure?

JOE: Beth would kick my ass if I didn't say Lola's place, ISLAND ARTS & CRAFTS. She's got jewelry stuff, art, pottery. Beth keeps bringing it home and some of it's cool.

JACK: Excellent. I do like me some swag…and the occasional souvenir rum cup. Best thing to do on the island?

JOE: Fishing would be my answer, but there's the lighthouse that's good for families. Randy has a kick ass operation for the thrill seekers. Parasailing, jet skis, stuff like that.

JACK: Ah, interesting, I’ll be sure to interview Sid then, when the time comes. Best ship to commandeer if you need to make a quick getaway….

JOE: We don't steal boats. And Dozer doesn't take too kindly to strangers stepping onto mine, so don't get any ideas.

HELLIE: *returning with rum, sees what’s going on* Please tell me you’ve just started and you have not ruined this entire interview? Terri will kill you, you know.

JOE: Terri will have to get in line.

JACK: *taking rum* Ah, now there’s the proper way to end an interview! Join me, maties, in celebrating the first spectacular episode of Discovery Island with the incomparable Captain Jack-- *Hellie makes a subtle gesture, the bow line is thrown and Jack is swept off the deck, a splash echoing off the side of the ship*

MO: You’re right, Captain! He didn’t see it coming at all! Who’da thunk!

HELLIE: I’m really sorry, Joe, I had these questions about your story with Beth.

JOE: I have answered enough questions for today. I’m here about a boat, or so I was led to believe, not to answer questions about my personal life.

HELLIE: Ah, yes, Terri did say you were…um…temperamental.

JOE: Yes, well, Pot meet Kettle. Do I get to have a look at this boat or not?

HELLIE: Not, I’m afraid. Jack would be even more cantankerous than you if I gave his ship away.

JOE: *glancing around* This piece of sh—

HELLIE: And I’m afraid that’s all we have time for today on Discovery Island. Tune in next time when we return to Anchor Island to see the sights from Sid’s point of view. While we wait, let’s dish: what place on Anchor Island would you most like to visit or what would you hope a place like Anchor Island would have?

TERRI: *streaking across the deck as if she’s on fire* OMGOMGOMG! Do you know my book is out today? Today, people! It’s out today!

HELLIE: No, sorry, it slipped my mind. You’ve been so calm.

TERRI: Oh, thanks. *taking a deep breath* I was really afraid Jack would screw up this interview.

HELLIE: You worry too much. Now why don’t you start off the crew with an answer to the question of the day?

TERRI: There’s a question?

HELLIE: What’s your favorite place on Anchor Island? (Your guests get to make suggestions for what they hope is there as well.)

TERRI: Oh, that’s nice. The Sweet Shoppe. That’s my favorite place. If I could go there, I’d get a brownie. They’re the bomb.
 
HELLIE: There you have it! Now you—what’s your favorite place on the island or what do you hope the island has? And if you haven't already, download your copy of MEANT TO BE--it's on sale, starting today!

19 comments:

Maureen said...

Jack be slowin' down. Maybe I should cut 'is rum rations...

Well, I got ta say, I'm all fer O'Hagan's as me favorite place on the island. I hear tell they serve a special blend a' rum!

Congrats on the release!

irisheyes said...

Happy Release Day, Ter!!!!!

I just contributed to your numbers over at Amazon.com. :) Now if you'll excuse me I have a busy day planned consisting of me, a chaise lounge, cup of tea (haven't decided yet whether it'll be hot or iced) and Meant To Be!

Enjoy your day!

Terri Osburn said...

Hahahahaha.... my hair IS on fire. LOL! Thank you, Jack and Hellie, for taking such good care of Joe. (No wonder he's not talking to me right now.)

That one was for you, Mo. (Mo's maiden name might or might not be O'Hagan.)

Thanks, Irish! I do hope you'll enjoy it. I never expected to be this sick with nerves, but I'm a mess. And I forgot my Tums at home!

Sin said...

Happy release day, Ter!

Gonna go pick up my copy now.

Janga said...

Happy Day, Terri! My digital copy of Meant to Be downloaded just after midnight. Now I can visit Anchor Island in either format. :)

My favorite place on the island is Lola's shop. It's just the kind of place I love to visit, and I love Lola. I hope we're going to see more of her story in subsequent books.

MsHellion said...

Mo, yeah, we haven't had many interviews with Jack lately...he's been a bit busy with his rum. :)

Irish, okay, officially JEALOUS! I want a chaise lounge, cup of rum (never tea) and Terri's new book!!

Terri, glad you approve. Happy debut day!!

Terri Osburn said...

Thanks, Sin. I do hope you enjoy it.

Janga - Lola is actually out of town during book 2, but she'll play a role again in book 3. Well, she will now. LOL!

MsHellion said...

Sin! Great to see you, girl!

Janga, Lola's shop is the kind of place I'd like to visit too...though I'm hoping there's a library or bookshop somewhere on this island. Don't these people read?

Terri Osburn said...

There are book shops! Just haven't mentioned them yet. And the Merchants meetings take place in the library, so that's mentioned. :)

Marnee Bailey said...

Oh, Irish... you're in for a happy day then!

Happy Book Birthday, Ter!!

Everyone should run, not walk, to their local bookstore (or Amazon, B&N or wherever you get your books) and buy this one. It's really that good.

Terri Osburn said...

Thanks, Marn, but it's not actually IN bookstores. Not yet, at least. That's one of the little glitches of publishing with an Amazon imprint. :) But you can order print from any bookseller of your choosing. B&N, Books-A-Million and others if you don't want to order directly from Amazon.

Marnee Bailey said...

Ugh. I knew that. :( I think I'm not awake yet today. Sorry Ter.

Terri Osburn said...

No apology necessary. I'm sure I'll be explaining this for months to come. :)

Maureen said...

Amazon let me know my print copy is on the way...how efficient! (I've seldom pre-ordered anything!)

Hels, I think Jack needs an exercise regime and maybe some brain games. Gotta perk that man up!

P. Kirby said...

Neato cheetos. I'll do the download thing as soon as I get home from work today. Looking forward to reading this!

Haleigh said...

Happy Release Day Terri! I'm so excited to read this - already downloaded my Kindle copy! What an amazing journey that brought you to today . . . and many more release days to come!

Terri Osburn said...

Thanks, Pat. Hope you enjoy it. I know you're a tough critic so I'm curious to hear what you think. Dish it honest. I can take it! (Maybe. Kidding. Sort of.)

Hal! Thanks, lady. There will be at least 2 more. Fingers crossed I figure out what will get me a few more.

P. Kirby said...

Well...*squirms* - I'm very circumspect and reticent when it comes to reviewing books published by one of my publishers or authored by online peeps. I'm a bitch, but I don't poo in my own living room.

Anyway, I read through the first few pages, to check that it downloaded okay, and liked what I read. Looking forward to more!

Hope you have loads of sales!

Terri Osburn said...

Oh, no review required. Just a "Not bad" or "Dude, couldn't finish it." LOL!