Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Swing of Things


Music Influence this week: Unstoppable- E.S. Posthumus (Makara, 2010)



I have been writing fan fiction like a fiend the last month. I find it hard to stop long enough to blog.

I'm taking this opportunity to work on parts of my writing that need work. Like my dialogue between characters. Or adding more than one secondary character into a scene at a time and utilizing the characters properly. Working on making scenes seem realistic. Working on writing slices of life and everyday routine things. And working on writing third person. I don't know what it is about third person that seems damned near impossible for me to write.

But I'm finding it easier. I think once I let go of this idea that I had to write original all the time, I suddenly felt free again. As if a huge weight had been lifted. I'm not even posting the fan fiction. It's just about writing it and learning that joy of writing again. And writing fan fiction doesn't have to be a waste to me. I need practice. I need to practice my story telling. I need to practice how to make my characters move and seem realistic and speak naturally. Nothing comes easily in life. I always thought my writing would come naturally and as long as I didn't force anything, the words would come to me. But it only took a handful of people to take it away for years. I couldn't find a way to be true to myself and still write. I felt stifled and sick and uninspired. But I'm not cut out to just write one or the other. I need freedom. At least for now I do.

I write one thing. I finish it. I start a new one. I've completed more fics in the past month than I have in four years. It feels liberating. Exhilarating. I'm still struggling with writing sex but that's okay. Eventually I'll break through there too. But for now, I'm writing. I'm writing again and I don't ever want to stop.

Have you ever went on a hiatus from either reading or writing? What filled your time up when you felt uninspired to do the one thing you loved most?

28 comments:

MsHellion said...

I'm sorry you have felt stifled for the last four years, but am glad you've found your mojo in writing again, wherever it might be.

When I don't want to write, I work on some other creativity. I try to quilt or paint, you know other things I'm piss-poor at and that critics point out what's wrong with when they visit. *LOL* But I don't care. I like the freedom of doing something that I know I will never have to succeed at. No pressure to be any good at it at all. The victory is only in finishing it and enjoying the process.

Sometimes I'll write poems. I like my poems, but I know they're no works of art. The only thing that would ever be said of them in an English class is "This girl thought about sex all the time. And she doesn't like nature." But I enjoy finding a rhyme or a funny phrase in a poem. It's another way to be witty.

Maureen said...

I fill my time with TV and the internet.

Yup, nothing creative. I'd like to say, oh, I garden! I sew! I exercise! I groom kittens for the homeless...

All things I hope to be able to say in the upcoming months. Well, maybe not the kittens...

Been on a total flake from writing and even reading since getting back from Denver's RomCon. I read so much on the way there and back, just haven't been able to get into reading. And I'm going to spend the next few days reading over the scifi romance I wrote fini to a few months ago...time to revise... I have a list of books I need to download to my reader so I'll have something to read when I'm out and about!

But I am glad to hear you're writing again and gods, by all means, write what calls to you! And be happy!

quantum said...

I tend to spend a lot of time in a cerebral world of equations, theories and hypotheses. I've always been like this. My mum worried that I was living in my own little world except when participating in sports.

When exhaustion sets in, I find it best to go off at a tangent to 'the home planet'. For me that is doing something physical to give the neurons a rest. Walking the hills near my home or pottering in the garden. I look for symmetry and beauty in science while working. To find the same in nature with landscape, plants and animals is very refreshing.

I also like to write occasionally. Short stories or 'the random thoughts of an exhausted physicist'. I think an area of the blog for posting short samples of writing would be good.

Sin, I would love to see some of your efforts to write sex, or other stuff, even if not in the Elizabeth Lowell class. And remember what I said about resting the neurons and exploring some physicality. Keeping in touch with the physical world as a balance to the mental world will set your spirit free!

Sin said...

I was totally going to rewrite this blog for today since I really didn't like this one. I just really got caught up in what I've been writing for the past two weeks and forgot.

Sin said...

Hellie, you're wicked witty. I wish I was a fourth of your wittiness.

I tried crochet. I suck at it. And it all looks terrible. But it gave me something to do with my hands. Isn't there a saying about idle hands?

I think that's the point. It's the process, enjoying it until you get finished. Sometimes I don't feel like that when I'm writing. But I'm stubborn and keep going, which makes me hate it even more. This is what brought on the 4 year hiatus from truly writing. I was writing, but I hated what I wrote. I hated what I was creating. It wasn't me writing those words. It was a shell of the writer I want to be.

Sin said...

Grooming kitties!

Chanceroo, I say with the amount that you produce and how fast you produce it that downtime in front of the TV is probably good for you. Probably relaxing. I mindless watch TV when I need my brain to just relax. Or like right now when I've been writing so much, so fast, I have to take a break at night to stop from being tense.

How was RomCon? Some of the girls that are in the Ranger group I'm a part of were there this year. And it sounds like the plan for next year is to go to RT in Kansas City.

Sin said...

Last night I finished something completely for the first time in four years. It was scary and exciting and terrifying and a whole bunch of other adjectives.

I finished something.

I finally did it.

Sin said...

Q, dearest, your comments are always like scientific poetry.

While my original fiction is not available for reading, all my other fiction is posted. Six years ago nearly everything I wrote had sex in it in some way, shape or form.

I think part of my problem before was while I know my characters, I love my characters, I wasn't in love with writing. And with something like sex, it's extremely difficult to write a sex scene when you can't find a shred of your soul in love with what you're doing. For four years I hated myself, hated my writing, hated my inability to write. And for me, I have to really be in my character in order to write a proper sex scene. I have to be able to distance myself and channel a different POV.

I also like to get outside when I need a break. I need to walk around. I need to be able to think. I also like to drive when thinking. I know that's probably dangerous, but I do some of my best thinking in the car. Or in the shower when I'm half awake.

I'd love to see your writing. You have a way with words.

Janga said...

Yay for your rediscovering the joy in writing, Sin, and for being wise enough to know that you needed to do so.

I'm with you on the driving too. It's one nearly foolproof way for me to get the ideas flowing again when they are blocked. Of course, I waste a lot of gas that way since I've been known to drive to a town fifty miles away before I realize it when I'm in thinking mode. :)

Christie Taylor said...

I'm a wanderer too, Janga. I frequently zone out while driving and thinking. But thankfully I live close enough to the country that I can wind around the gravel and back roads until I finally have an epiphany.

TerriOsburn said...

I've been trying to write this comment for over an hour. Grrrrr....

I took a hiatus from writing while I did the college thing. Which happened while I was also doing the mom thing and work thing so some "thing" had to go. But I continued attending conferences and taking ecourses and such. So not a total blow off.

Lately I've been off the reading thing, but I'm trying to fix that. No more taking time off between books. Finished the anthology over the weekend and started a fellow GHers MS last night.

I'm happy to hear you happy again, Sin. Life is too damn short to do something that's bringing you down. Find your bliss, lady. And add me to the driving/plotting club. That's the one benefit of my long drives to Knoxville and back. Plenty of time to think.

Maureen said...

RomCon was so disorganized it gave me a real appreciation for RT! Nice people, just not a smooth running con.

I second the driving thing and showering!

P. Kirby said...

*Snerk. Takes a break from reading fan fics and webcomics, which constitutes the never-ending break from suck-ass day job.*

A few years ago, after writing my first book, I got discouraged and quit writing fiction for three years. I was still writing blog posts from time to time, so I guess I didn't entirely stop writing.

During the warm months, a huge chunk of time goes to the garden--approx. 3,000 square feet of perennials, annuals and a few veggies. (I suck at growing vegetables.) I guess that's creative. Husband and I have a small business making metal art; I work on that in splurts of activity. I draw, sometimes paint. Started bicycling lately, which, like driving, is a useful time to get in touch with the muse.

So what fandoms do you write in?

Sin said...

Ter, I hate when it takes me forever to leave my comment. I have that problem a lot of the times and by the time I get back to finish what I started commenting about I can't remember my thought process.

Someone told me once that you should always read while you write. For me, I just don't have enough spare time to do both. But finally the DH is getting better about not being such an ass about the whole writing thing. Maybe that's why I'm a bit happier to write too. Less stressed out about doing it.

Sabrina Shields (Scapegoat) said...

So I've been thinking about this post all day...not really sure what I can add except to ditto everyone and especially Terri when she said FIND YOUR BLISS!

Gotta say - your paragraph on working on your writing intrigued me. I love how you are going about it and how you can so clearly see what you are working on.

I'm having a little tough time with the writing thing myself right now and am trying to pump myself off to really take off on the next MS. It's just that every time I sit to write I wonder...what about if I wrote X instead...

Sigh. I've been pretty absent from twitter, my blog, etc. lately because I'm just feeling a little lost. Uninspired is a great word to explain it.

What do I find myself doing right now while not writing? LOL - well I just took a second job as a fitness instructor. How's that for really trying to procrastinate! I teach my first class tonight and am scared shitless.

Sin said...

So glad I'm not the only one around here that reads webcomics and fanfic. I have near obsession level for my webcomics. The artist I think are even better than the mainstream published stuff. So good.

I got really discouraged five years ago. It only takes one bad seed to ruin the apple. But I tried to keep going. Some times I can be optimistic and live in denial, but I just couldn't do it anymore.

I write fanfic for Janet Evanovich's Plum Series. The last couple of weeks I've been rewriting the end of Twelve Sharp, which I finished last night. It's not posted yet- I've got my beta looking over it- but I have other stuff.

Sin said...

For reference to my written fiction-

http://www.fanfiction(dot)net/~cltaylor

Just take out the (dot) and add a real .

Sin said...

Scapey!

You go girl! I'm so unmotivated to work out. But maybe this is what you need to get going. What classes are you going to teach?

This writing thing. Well, here's what I decided to do. I'd use the fan fiction I love to write to work on my ability. Then I decide which part I want to work on, write it, post it and get feedback. I have problems with writing sex because sex to me and sex to the characters is a different thought process. Most women equate sex to love. Sex to emotional attachment. I equate sex to getting off. What's done is done. So while I've written sex scenes probably three dozen times (if not more) without learning how to get into another thought process about it I'm never going to be able to write another to my satisfaction.

The third person POV thing is stumping me. I'm getting better at dialogue reading more naturally. But I have a hard time with more than two characters on a page. It's all so incredibly frustrating. So I work on it. And posting it isn't that big of a deal to me anymore. I've been doing it for six years. Hopefully people can see actual growth in my writing. Otherwise I'm just doing it for nothing.

I hope you get inspired. I'd love to be able to help you.

quantum said...

Thanks for the link to your fanfic Sin.
The next wet Sunday will find me happily nosing around in there.

With the jet stream so far south over the British Isles we are having the wettest summer since records began. So I won't have long to wait!

I think that you have a unique writing talent. As long as at least one person on the planet recognises that, then you are a success! *smile*

Christie Taylor said...

Dear Q, someday I will hug you. You're always so kind to me.

I'm very jealous of your nice summer. I'm currently melting. I'm not accustomed to living in the desert considering I live in the middle of the US where while it gets hot, it at least rains.

TerriOsburn said...

Now I'm worried. The Olympics start next Friday in London!

Q - Tell me they won't be rained out. LOL!

Sabrina Shields (Scapegoat) said...

Thanks Sin - your post has already been helpful. :)

I'm teaching spinning - I started taking classes over a year ago and love it. One of the instructors actually approached me that they really needed someone to take on some classes and had I ever considered teaching...long story short, they hired me and are paying for my certification. I'll be teaching 3 classes a week - ones I was actually already taking as a student so it's no more time out of my day.

Same classes + exercise time + $$$$ = winning! :)

Christie Taylor said...

So awesome!

I tried spinning once. I thought I was going to die. So more power to you.

irisheyes said...

Hurray for writing again, Sin! I'm with Terri, life's too short not to do what makes you happy right here and now. If it puts a smile on your face, go for it!

I've been having a real hard time lately connecting to any book I pick up. It's been a long time since I've been this distracted. I've switched up genres, moved between my ereader to an actual paper book, went from my comfy chair in my family room to the lounge chair on my patio to my bed. I think I've started and stopped more books in the past month than I've finished in the last year. I just can't seem to find that missing ingredient that's gonna get me focused on reading again. The writing is long gone. I haven't sat down at my computer to actually write in close to year. I'm choosing to blame it on menopause. LOL

I just keep thinking it's like my mom always said, it's just a phase and if I hang in there it'll pass. I'm also doing a lot of re-reading. Maybe I'm just at point where I need the familiar instead of wondering what's going to happen on the next page.

irisheyes said...

Q, Can you send some of that rain here?!!!! We are in desperate need. I don't think I've been this hot since I was a kid living in a house with 9 people and no AC. I feel like a punchline in a joke - How hot is it? It's so hot Irish has been seen in a tank top for the first time in 20 years.

Scape - that is awesome! I really envy people who exercise on a regular basis and to get paid for it is a bonus. I think I finally got the food thing figured out, now I have to get this body moving.

JulieJustJulie said...

“It's just about writing it and learning that joy of writing again.
… I'm writing. I'm writing again and I don't ever want to stop.”
Congratulations! And truly , I am Very happy for you!

JulieJustJulie said...

"Have you ever went on a hiatus from either reading or writing?"
Yes, but not always by choice.

"What filled your time up when you felt uninspired to do the one thing you loved most?"
I love to walk … I hike around my neighborhood … people watching … playing with the dogs … walking up and down the country roads … letting my mind wander while I stare off into those distant horizons. I love to watch sunrises and sunsets… the changing light playing upon the landscape …often times you can find me with my camera taking “skyscapes”. When I was a kid I used to look for interesting cloud formations and I’d tell my friends stories about what I saw. Something like “See that cloud, the one that looks like Pegasus? Well …” I still like to watch the clouds, though I don’t tell stories … I just let my mind meander into all sorts of possibilities.
Yes, I love to walk. I love to hike. I Don’t like to drive, as it is too confining for my tastes. But. I do love to ride on my motorcycle, well technically speaking my husband’s motorcycle. The highway bores me. I like the back roads, the roads less taken. The not knowing what is around the next bend, the feeling of freedom and wind, the heat of the day the cold of the evening connecting with my skin. Riding is very interactive physically and mentally too. Because I’m not the one driving … I can concentrate on the landscape the towns the people. It’s a mind rush of information streaming at me. It’s exhilarating and yes a bit dangerous sometimes. Best of all is the feeling of being at a masquerade. I am anonymous until take off my helmet …
And at the end of the ride, when I take off my helmet? Well, there is always some new destination. Fascinating places filled with interesting people.
It is my experience that everyone has an interesting story to tell, even if they themselves don't know it. I guess that's why I don't have a hard time talking to people. I get them to talk about themselves & the stories they forgot or didn't know they had. People think that I'm a 'great conversationalist' when in truth I’m just an attentive listener.

JulieJustJulie said...

Or to put it simply, its all about finding a story. Yours... or someone else's... doesn't matter. Its all about finding a story.