Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Last Minute Substitution! Conventions...


and Making Them Work For Me…

ACK! Yes, it’s coming on strong and fast. Convention season. And I have a whirlwind tour on my hands this year. I think it’s going to be fun, if I don’t have a nervous breakdown beforehand.

I have the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention in April. May is a new steampunk convention called Clockwork Alchemy, but at least it’s in San Jose, less than 40 miles away. (Whew!) The same weekend is BayCon, also in San Jose, so I might be bopping between one and the other. CA is gonna win for most of my attention, I’m on a few panels!

June has RomCon in Denver, and the Northern California Pirate Festival. July is RWA Nationals (where I’ll just be attending, so it will be a bit relaxing. I hope.) August? Right now it’s looking like no convention but instead a cruise with my family. Then the fall season, which I’m going to ignore at the moment.

Now, the first convention has me starting to freak out. The last few months have been busy with figuring out what I’m going to give away in Club RT. I’m part of a steampunk social and there is a lot of figure out with that group. (Costume!) I’ll be signing my two prints and pushing my e-books…and I hired a pirate actor to work the Saturday line for the big book fair.

He’s great and I can’t wait to see him at work! Giving out my pins, bookmarks, temporary tattoos… Hee, hee!

The hard thing…ah. The panel I proposed and am in charge of. A game. A game of romance Mad Libs. I tricked…errr…convinced two other authors to do this with me. One new book is Scottish historical, Katharine Ashe. One writes hot cowboy romances, Beth Williamson, and then there is me…pirates.
Mad Libs. This is the write up for the convention:

Fictional Mad Libs – Who Ya Gonna Write?
Join three authors as they coach you in how to choose the right words for the right character. From Scotland to the Caribbean to deep in the heart of Texas, we’ll spin you around and mix it up to create that Scottish Cowboy wearing a tricorn you’ve all been dreaming of. Trust us, it’s all in the words. Come play Mad Libs with us and discover a hilarious way to create a story.

I figure we’ll each contribute a scene of approx. 100-150 words from our newest books, remove assorted adverbs, adjectives, nouns, verbs, colors, numbers, etc. And let the audience replace them with options that could mix up the genres. To do this, I need to hand out a list…or display one, of assorted words from each genre.

This is where it could be fun… For a pirate, it’s a tricorn. For a Scot, it’s a tam-o-shanter. For a cowboy, it’s a ten-gallon hat. For a pirate, she’s a wench. For a Scot, she’s a lassie. For a cowboy, she’s a ma’am. That sort of thing.

Now, I need some good adverbs, adjectives…verbs… So, I’m coming to the crew…because I know you read all of these genres. (I was reduced to a google search. It wasn’t bad…but I need more!)

So…what works? I was thinking… a cutlass, a claymore and a pigsticker (or a Bowie). A pistol, a (was there a firearm of some sort?) and a colt. (Yeah, I’m obviously reaching for the Scottish historical.)

It’s play day! (And help a bartender out day.) Can you think of particular words that let you know, with a sentence or two, where you are? (the Caribbean, the moors, the panhandle) Who the hero is? Who is heroine is? What’s the insult each hero would use?

22 comments:

Scapegoat said...

so we're looking for Scottish, cowboy and pirate words for the same things...

Okay - let me think on this one. I think this sounds like a super fun workshop!

TerriOsburn said...

The insults would be the MOST fun! LOL! If you had an author who wrote about sheiks, you could go with Klinger's insults from the old MASH episodes. (Which I still watch often.)

For the cowboy, would depend on if it's Historical cowboy or modern day cowboy. I think a girl would be a filly, maybe. Not sure on the spelling. You could go with Yosemite Sam for the insults there. Must be a Lilly-livered something or other.

Hellie will be your expert on the Scottish stuff. Once she crawls aboard this morning.

Maureen said...

Well, I think the cowboy author writes modern, but I'm not certain... I figure she won't care if we use parlance that slips from modern to historical.

Come on ladies! I needs the help!

Scapegoat said...

Sorry - I've been in meetings and another at 11. I'll try to brainstorm while I'm in there. :)

MsHellion said...

SYNONYMS FOR GUN: Saturday-night special, Uzi, blaster, cannon, difference*, equalizer, flintlock, forty-five, handgun, hardware, howitzer, magnum, mortar, musket, ordnance, peashooter, persuader, piece*, pistol , revolver, rifle, rod, shotgun, thirty-eight

The cowboy would probably use: Saturday night special, equalizer, forty-five, magnum, peashooter (if he's old fashioned), pistol, revolver, thirty-eight

The Scots AND Pirate would probably use similar words: rod, pistol, piece, persuader (this could be fun!), peashooter, musket, mortar (esp Scot), flintlock, cannon (Scot)

You need some GAELIC slang. http://www.gaelicshadows.us/gaelic.html

Good luck pronouncing them!

MsHellion said...

This one is funny. *LOL*

http://jimmythejock.hubpages.com/hub/thejockspot_awa_and_bile_yer_heid

TerriOsburn said...

Wow. A chicken laying razor blades. That's a clear and disturbing image.

Scapegoat said...

Hmmm...Castle for the scottsman, Homestead for the Cowboy (or ranch or plantation) and quarters or cabin for the pirate...

Scapegoat said...

Still brainstorming...

Arse, bee-hind (lol I know country ppl where I was from said it like that all the time), bottom, buttocks,

I was thinking in terms of curse words they might use...

P. Kirby said...

Not sure if this is any help (I broke down and called vet regarding wonder horse's wound; appointment this afternoon; dealing with any medical pro makes me sick to my stomach, so muse is dead), but the first thing that comes to mind regarding cowboys is the "critters" one encounters on the "range." Coyotes, jackrabbits, antelopes, horned toads, rattlesnakes etc.

TerriOsburn said...

The cursing should be as fun as the insults.

Pat - Hope Wonderhorse is okay. Good suggestions. Too bad that Disney movie BRAVE won't be out before this convention. Or will it? Huh. I need to look that up. *looks* Nope. Not until June.

Maureen said...

Scribbling madly... I love the idea of ass, bottom, buttucks... backside... Hmmmm!

Euphamisms fer the beast w/two backs? "In the saddle", "Rolling in the hay" ... What would be good pirate parlance? Or Scottish?

Off to check Hellie's finds...

TerriOsburn said...

What's a beast with two back? I'm guessing from your euphemisms it's sex, but that sounds very strange.

I'd say pirate version might be a twirl in the hammocks?

Maureen said...

Ooooh! I liked a lot of those! I think I need more historically accurate ones, but I bet I can make some adjustments...

Yeah, a face like a chicken laying razors... ouch!

MsHellion said...

I can't believe I'm advocating this, but it doesn't need to be historically accurate. I think it should just sound nautical or piratey to pull this off--I'd watch POTC a few times and get some insults from him and Barbosa. The Scots--anytime you can call someone a worthless Sachonach (sp?--Englishman)--that's enough insult for anyone.

As for sexual innuendos, I would make up goofy nautical ones--reference dolphins, whales, the Royal Navy, whatever--as for the Scots, using the word tup works a lot, but you can make it sound Scotchy without too much research. I think funny is going to count more here than historically accurate.

I'd also plagarize some of Shakespeare's innuendos and insults--those would both work for the pirate and Scot.

MsHellion said...

http://www.petelevin.com/shakespeare.htm

Maureen said...

I'm...beyond shocked! Pillage history without being accurate! How...piratee of you!

So a Scott would tup a maiden in a loch?

Oh! That's a good one. Fer a pirate it be the Caribbean. For the cowboy, it's a lake. For a Scot it's a loch!

MsHellion said...

I'm more shocked than you are, believe me.

Since he's a modern cowboy, have sex in the water trough. That stuff happens all the time. *pauses* I mean, no it doesn't. I've heard it happens there. And also in the pond on the back forty...or the lake...or the river or the 'crick' or the waterhole...

And of course a Scot would tup a lassie in the loch, he'd let her ride upon his coc--er...never mind.

For the pirate, it would be sex under a waterfall. Duh. Haven't you been to the Caribbean?

MsHellion said...

"Diving Nessie in and out of the loch, if'n you get my drift..."

"We'll be riding bareback until the cows *come* home, if you know what I mean." (Though that's a dangerous one--coming and cows? DANGEROUS.)

"Hey there little heifer, I'd like to rope you, tie you up, and brand you with my big iron until you're mine all mine."

"Och, now there's a bonnie lass, what say ye we play Laird and Lassie in the new barn until we make a new bairn?"

Maureen said...

Laird and Lassie? Bwah ha ha ha!

Sex under a waterfall...wait...didn't I write that?

TerriOsburn said...

What was that little pond like thing where Alan took Emily?

Hellie's been hitting the rum extra hard today, I see.

Maureen said...

Yeah, there is a natural waterfall by Alan's cabin...and he took her to the baths, as he called them...