Thursday, November 10, 2011

Broken VS Flawed

When the Revenge hosted the dear Anna Campbell a few months back, she asked about standard devices we as writers are fond a’ using. And I replied that me heroines are generally broken, but don’t know it.

And this got me thinking about what it means to be broken. And why is it the hero gets to be flawed, but I think a’ the heroine as broken. I’m not sure if this says somethin’ about me or about the concepts in general.

Aye, me heroines are broken. And generally they are managing just fine ta survive and even ta thrive. But they be broken, nevertheless. Sometimes it be emotionally. OK, usually it be emotionally. Though I’ve written a few with physical difficulties that…ok, generally cause emotionally areas a’ breakage. Damn it.

When you really think about it, what is worse, being flawed or being broken? I know when I used to shop for fabric with my mother, flawed fabric isn’t something that can be mended or fixed. It can be cut around, it can be incorporated into the pattern, but you can’t really mend it. When broken…say, you need two yards and all there is 1.5 yards…well, you’re just screwed and have to find another fabric. Or another project if you really, really like it.

But a flaw? I like flawed fabric, a dye job that ran or weaving that fractured can be worked into a project. Which, when thinking about a hero is sorta funny. Women seem ta adore the idea a’ working around a flaw, even making a flaw a key bit of magic when it comes to a character.

Men? They want ta fix things…mend them. Honestly, sit down with a guy and talk about something that is bothering ya and generally they’ll come up with all sorts a’ ways ta fix it. They won’t really work around a break, they want ta fix it. Even flawed heroes want ta fix (mend) things.

Now, with women who are broken, we are more likely to work with what we have. Hence the fabric metaphor. We change projects, we add a border of a different fabric.

So, to sum…a guy will toss the break or fix it. A woman will diddle with the flawed and work with it. (Yes, I said diddle. Get yer mind outta the gutter!)

Okay, realizing not everyone understand what a flawed bit of fabric is, though I sorta explained above…oftimes, the end of a bolt of fabric will be flawed. Usually because of a dye problem. Sometimes, it happens within the bolt (of fabric.) Likely something fell into the vat or the mechanical process was interrupted… You can end up with some pretty interesting things as a result of flaws. In The Kraken’s Mirror, Emily adores the bit of flawed silk she pulls out of the ship the Quill raids. And with Alan’s help, she ends up with a show-stopping gown for the pirate ball.

He sorta ‘fixes’ the flaw by stealing her fabric, just enough for a skirt, and incorporating it into an entire outfit. He’s a fixer.

Now that I’ve wandered off course, let me see if I can pull this back so I actually reach anchorage…

Are flawed and broken the same to you? Do you agree with me that the two words carry subtle differences and tend to be divided by gender? Or is this just me prejudice coming through?

Though I find myself thinking me heroines aren’t always broken, but they are bent…(outta the gutter!) Maybe broken means something different to me. Like ‘breaking’ a tomato just means it might not make a sandwich, but damned good sauce. Or if you toss it into the compost, it makes more tomatoes…

It’s Friday, I’m fried…maybe very, very broken.

 

54 comments:

Bosun said...

*blinks* Huh.

I don't think, to me, the words mean the same thing. But a flaw is usually something that doesn't go away. In regards to characters anyway. My heroine's flaw is that she is programmed to please. Her first instinct is always to make others happy, often at the cost of her own happiness.

Though my hero helps her recognize this flaw and learn to think for herself, she knows this will still be a habit. She even tells him that at the very end, with a promise to work on it. He's happy to have her, flaws and all.

But broken is different. Broken usually needs fixed before you can move on. Definitely before you can find the HEA. Broken requires healing. Flaws require learning. To me, that is. And it's after midnight here so there's no telling if this will make sense in the morning. (I'll be sleeping in!)

2nd Chance said...

Well, I'm not sure I agree that broken needs fixing. Sometimes, broken just means you take a detour to the HEA. But I do see your point...

Sometimes, especially when it comes to harsher emotions, I think people can be broken...really broken...but learn to live with that break. It's like 'families' ... traditionally broken, but remade, or mended in nontraditional ways...

Then again, it's late, late...or early, early Friday morning, and my brain is blitzed...

Though, even if they don't mean the same thing...don't you think it does tend to be one to the guys and one to the girls? Guys are flawed. Girls are broken...

Bosun said...

Nope, I don't think it matters about hero or heroine. Certain characters are broken and if you don't fix what's broke, there can't be a HEA. Not a believable one. The reader has to at least believe the characters is on the path to healing.

That break, if ignored, or detoured around as you put it, will come up again down the road. Happens in families all the time. You can sweep broken pieces under the rug for only so long before someone moves the rug and then you have to deal with it all over again.

You could throw a third word in here. Damaged. I have a future character who is damaged, and she's going to take some repair to get to her HEA. Poor Randy has his work cut out for him.

2nd Chance said...

Hmmm... I think we're gonna agree to disagree. I think everything can be or has to be broken. Because the stuff that comes up? It comes up, even if you think you fixed it. Because the break is always there. Like with bones...they mend, but there is still traces of the break... and sometimes, it is detours. Some things can't be mended.

It's the continually dealing with the break where the HEA lives.

Quantum said...

I think that love can weave the deepest wounds into a HEA when the right author is in control.

Take Mary Ballogh's 'Simply Love' for example.
Sydnam and Anne are both badly scarred, lonely people who've survived great tragedies and learned to expect no favours from the world. Ballogh shows how love can lead to healing of the deepest, hidden emotional wounds.
NB be sure to have a pile of Kleenex handy if you read this one!
Perhaps two 'broken' people can mend the breaks and make a whole couple?

Chance, I agree with your brilliant observations on incorporating flaws into a design.
When the flaw is in a collectable (like a coin) then it can become priceless!

Janga said...

Sorry, Chance. I agree that men, when presented with a problem, generally try to fix things. There's lots of research to support that claim. It's why most men don't understand that women need to vent. We want a sympathetic ear, and they want to present us with the solution instead of talking it over.

But I don't see flaws and brokenness as gender issues. I think flaws are part of our humanity. We see them even in very young children--one has an explosive temper, one tends to be bossed around too easily, one is stubborn beyond belief, etc. No one is perfect, although some of us are blind to our own flaws.

Brokenness IMO is the consequence of what life or others do to us. I'm not much of a Hemingway fan, but I love this quotation from A Farewell to Arms: "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places." Some breaks are more serious than others. Some heal; others don't. Some forever walk with a limp, and others require an X-ray to reveal the broken place. And some walk around with cracks in their hearts or in their souls and never acknowledge them, willfully blind to their brokenness.

Donna said...

Great discussion! I don't think I have anything to add. Everyone makes such great points here. I'll just sit here and enjoy it. :)

*sips coffee*

Bosun said...

For the record (speaking to my brain) 8:30 is NOT sleeping in. Grrrr...

I'm up! And I'm fine with agreeing to disagree. Now, off to make some hot chocolate. Looks like a beautiful day out my window. Nice.

2nd Chance said...

Quantum - I do think some of the best stories show how a couple lives with and makes the breaks part of their life. I think that's what I'm trying to say...

I don't think we're disagreeing, Janga...it's my blathering that might paint it that way. And in RL, it isn't a gender issue...I think in romance fiction...possible fiction in general...it's written with words that lead me to conclude there is some gender-specification going on...

....some walk around with cracks in their hearts or in their souls and never acknowledge them, willfully blind to their brokenness. Yeah, this is where the writer comes into play and can weave so much story into this coping mechanism... Lovely quote!

2nd Chance said...

Donna - Yer such a slacker!

*snort!

Terrio - Sorry, that ain't much fer sleeping in. Though I would a taken it. Woke up near 5am and only drifted the next 90 minutes, so decided ta get up, do some laundry and start blogging!

Bosun said...

I tried staying in bed another half hour and finally gave up. Brain was in full swing anyway.

2nd Chance said...

Yup, mine, too. Things to do! Laundry to wash! And my internal heater fired up so I was just lying there starting to glisten. Not in the fun way.

Hellion said...

Interesting blog--lots to think on!

I would say the words are different, quite different--like Bo'sun says, flaws don't go away, but broken things can usually (sometimes) be healed and even better than before the break.

My theory is that the heroine of your stories is usually the character the story belongs to, the character with the most growth and the bigger arc--and the hero, while he'll learn stuff, is more along for the journey--not because he needs the journey.

So I think "broken" could apply to a male character IF the story you're telling BELONGS to the male character more than the female character. This makes me think of a Jill Barnett book--Dreaming--because on the surface you'd think this was the heroine's story, but I think it was the hero's. He was the broken one; he was the one who needed to be fixed--and yet he kept trying to "fix" the heroine, toughen her up and prove her wrong--and she needed up being the catalyst, I think, that ended up healing him. And then in return he healed her. I would say she was more flawed than ever broken.

However, it's pretty rare for a story (esp a romance) to belong to the male character. We read stories because we want to empathize with the heroine (not necessarily the hero)--so it's usually the heroines who are the walking wounded.

That's my theory. Tear it up as you will. *LOL*

2nd Chance said...

No, I can see that, Hellion. I think that the paradigm of whose story it is is shifting, but generally...you're spot on.

I think, sometimes, I get a splinter under my nail about word assignments and start to see them everywhere.

I know when I was taking literature classes, the leads were mostly men (snort!) and it was always the 'flawed hero). When I started examining the concept, I stumbled on women being more broken then flawed. But could be I was seeing that due to the deep abiding NEED that men have to fix. You can fix a break, not a flaw.

So, if my thoughts are sound... For women, the men need to be flawed because they can work around that and save the lead, or incorporate it into what they love about the guy (bad boy complex). For men, the women need to be broken, so they can fix them and save the lead.

Does that make any sense? Or am I still blathering about something no one else considers?

Yes, I know I do that!

Does that make sense?

Hellion said...

Love Janga's quote--though I am not a fan of Hemmingway. :)

Hellion said...

For women, the men need to be flawed because they can work around that and save the lead, or incorporate it into what they love about the guy (bad boy complex). For men, the women need to be broken, so they can fix them and save the lead.

No, it makes sense. It also seems to play into each sex's "strength" so they come out looking more heroic as the story winds up. Though the approaches are "different" I think the solution is the same: accepting and loving someone just as they are.

2nd Chance said...

I do agree...loving and accepting them for what they are. And healing what they can together. As I said, for me, that is where the HEA comes from and what a real relationship is all about.

Breaks...well, they are always there and issues return. Like an alcholic is never cured...they just deal with it day by day.

Bosun said...

I can see what you're saying. Women want to change a man while a man wants to fix a woman. Generally speaking, of course. But this might come down to who your audience is.

I don't know that stats (and am too lazy to look them up) but I think the largest demographic for Romance readers skews on the younger side. Under 40. Total guess, mind you. Anyway, a twenty-something is going to read differently than a 50-something. Less experience to see your continually working on the healing is the HEA.

You want to see love stories as they really are, but many read for the fantasy. The HEA as they wish it could be.

2nd Chance said...

I suppose you have a point. It's whether life has kicked the idealism out of a person... Or gentled it away into a more realistic, and what I think is more romantic, version of a relationship.

Demographics are fascinating... I'm thinking about who I see at conventions and wonder...not sure about the ages, but as everything else...that demographic is aging, too!

Hellion said...

But then 2nd writing to HER audience works then, doesn't it? Isn't that demographic always complaining about books being exactly as they're written for the young and idealistic? It's like Romantic Comedies--movies are written with the 15-24 demographic in mind, whose sense of humor is not as funny to those of us NOT in that demographic--so when we get a movie that isn't in that category: MUST LOVE DOGS, IT'S COMPLICATED, WHEN HARRY MET SALLY--the audience is there and they appreciate that you made a story that fits them.

2nd Chance said...

Though I would love to convert the younger readers to the idea that the romance starts after the "I do" stuff...and it is work! One of the reasons I loved that movie... Crazy, Stupid Love was how realistic it was...if you don't keep working the marriage, it breaks. And the only way that is mended, is working together.

Bosun said...

As I said, I was totally guessing on the demographics. But that's the business side of me commenting on something that is probably more creative and analytical.

All I know is that I'm 40, have been reading Romance for 26 years, and if I don't believe what's broken in a character (regardless of gender) is healed or on the way to being healed, I'm going to have a harder time buying the HEA.

However, I'm with Janga in that flaws are a part of us we learn to live with. Get around, as Chance might say. Flaws don't hinder the HEA believability for me. Unless it's a BIG flaw. LOL! Then it's a different discussion.

2nd Chance said...

I have to go with you on that... I never bought the flaw that Luke raped Laura and she fell in love with him. That was a flaw in the entire story line, not just him or her.

Granted, they didn't have a HEA, but soap couples never do!

There are some flaws or breaks that are insurmountable for any but a divine being to forgive/work with.

Hellion said...

The way Crazy, Stupid, Love was able to appeal to the masses though was because it was two demographics playing in the same movie. Whichever demographic most matched you is the story you thought the move belonged to. *LOL* So drawing in the younger audience usually involves you having a younger love story to be a FOIL to your older couple's love story. You can show how young love is optimistic and passionate, but older love is usually more compassionate and "a banked fire" (instead of blazing in a fiery heat then dying out, it's a constant warm heat that can last throughout the night).

I'm not sure--but maybe Bo'sun means she prefers a "tied up ending". I don't think this is so much a discussion of "broken" versus "damaged" (which is really more semantics to me) than it is HEA versus HFN. I believe 2nd has sided with Sin on this that HFN is the type of ending she prefers to write, because it's more realistic. HEA is the ending many of us prefer because we don't want to have to worry about these characters anymore. We want to think they will be happy from here on out. If you're writing a series, HFN is pretty much needed so you can keep up the internal conflict and insecurities (that never really go away) in subsequent books. Many books are stand alones (which I believe the Bo'sun prefers) and have to have a HEA because otherwise they're pretty much termed literary and we burn those. :)

Bosun said...

Go read this! http://cavemancircus.com/2011/11/08/quite-possibly-the-funniest-thing-you-will-read-today/

Hellion said...

*LOL* I love that story. I remember it from college; I used to laugh myself sick reading it. Awesome!

2nd Chance said...

Uh...dang it. Lost my comment.

Reg. HEA and HFN... To me, HFN almost requires the idea that they won't stay together...which I'd quibble with.

But I'm a word quibbler.

Now, to go check out the link...

2nd Chance said...

Oh, that was priceless...and that is obviously a couple that would combust into hot sweaty sex if they touched.

Right?

I mean, this is fiction, right? ;-)

Hellion said...

I think it would depend how long your series went on. If you had a HFN ending for 3 books, then tied it up as a HEA in the last book, it may work.

But quibble away. I prefer more stand-alone books with HEAs. And more idealistic partnerships. :)

And no, not necessarily on the tandem couple. I would say it would depend on what he looked like. I had a couple of those kinds of guys in class and they looked like trolls. No chance in hell. NOW if he looked like that guy I used to compete with in my English class--who was also an English major, but one of the literary ones--OH, YEAH. *LOL* (I think his name was Jason.)

2nd Chance said...

Hels - A Ded Dixon workshop I went to had a good definition of literature...got to go find my notes...

Ah...to sum up...
"The job of commercial fiction ...to deal with the big questions and present hope for change.
Lit fiction - gives you the experience, not necessarily hope."

2nd Chance said...

*snort!

A romance author would take those two students, strand them on an elevator or some plot device, and they would end up passionately in love...

Or it would be murder mystery, one would kill the other, then shimmy out the escape hatch and disappear...

P. Kirby said...

I'm with Bo'sun's assessment in the first post upthread. But I also don't see it as inherently gender related, because, I have a huge aversion to the idea that our reactions are predetermined by gender. Frankly, my reaction to "broken," is to make an attempt to fix it, and if it can't be fixed, get rid of it. Including relationships. This is a function of my experience dealing with addicts and alcoholics. There comes a point, where someone is to f*cking broken and the relationship is too toxic. So I move on.

For the record, though, I know just as many men who put up with astonishing amounts of crap, trying to work around, not fix, broken or flawed, or whatever you want to call it. So again, I don't see it as a gendered response.

P. Kirby said...

Oh, and if my tone sounds snotty, I don't mean it to be. I just had another ferocious battle with an asshat who refused to leash his dog, so I'm running on adrenaline and feeling feisty. So my "voice" is probably prickly.

2nd Chance said...

I sympathize with the unleashed. Though I do have one park where Bonnie is allowed that liberty. Only the one!

I think in RL, the gender assignment doesn't happen. I totally agree with you. But I find a tendancy within Romantic Fiction, to play it that way.

Though it could certainly be my take. And yup, somethings are too broken to make a relationship work until the individual tends to their own issues.

I've dumped the toxic before, too. Sigh.

Janga said...

Ter & Hellie, do y'all remember the group story on the old EJ bb when one person kept trying to turn the heroine into a lesbian and others just as persistently kept making her heterosexual? Lots of drama there and it was all women.

Ter, accoding to RWA, the largest group of readers--44 percent--is 31-49. Average age is 44.6. I suspect this varies widely by subgenre and author however. I'd love to see a study that gave more statistics.
Bowker says the average reader is 44--very close to RWA figures--but adds that one in three readers is over 55. That's a lot of readers in the older demographic--around 10 million romance readers, if the general figures hold true for romance readers.

2nd Chance said...

Janga. I'm greedy, I want them all to be my readers!

BWAH HA HA!

And those figures sound about right according to what I see at cons. I'd love to know how that breaks down into subgenre... Like who reads paranormal, historical, etc. I have my guesses, but that's worth about nothing!

P. Kirby said...

I think the tendency for gendered responses is why I don't read a lot of romance, even though, in theory, I lurve the lurve.

I'm all for dog parks. I also don't care if dogs are unleashed, so long as the owner calls them back and leashes when approaching other dog walkers, horses, bikers, joggers, etc. This is the second time where I've informed someone of the leash law and they've gotten aggressively belligerent. I called animal control, but by the time they got out there, the person had disappeared. Maybe next time I'll call the cops.

Hellion said...

There comes a point, where someone is to f*cking broken and the relationship is too toxic. So I move on.

Been there, done that, have the t-shirt.

Janga, I do remember that! *LOL* It would have been hilarious if it hadn't been so frustrating. *LOL*

Makes sense about the numbers to me. *LOL* I think the younger demographic is too busy watching reality TV. *LOL*

2nd Chance said...

I do watch others approach and keep Bonnie near... Gods, with horses? She'd be leashed, period. I mean, you never know and hoofs kill, falling off a horse can kill... Only makes sense.

The group of people I see at another area, where the leash law is sometimes enforced...we warn each other if the ticket guys are around. But we all pretty much know each other... Or at least know each other's dogs.

Hel - I don't know if they aren't reading or if their reading is just very narrowly focused.

Bosun said...

^5s P. Kirby

I'm totally a fixer too, Pat. We can sit in the fixer boat together.

Bosun said...

See, I should have checked my figures. LOL! Thanks for the facts, Janga. Had no idea I was that close in age to the average reader. Should have realized it, but didn't. Duh to me.

2nd Chance said...

Ter - But yer daughter, she's turned into a reading demon! That's the things about demographics, they are spot on. Until they aren't!

2nd Chance said...

I'm drifting in a different boat... sometimes known as HMS "Let it Be." Othertimes the HMS "I Don't F*cking Care."

Though usually I'm in the "Must Be a Lesson Here" craft.

Demi Spawn said...

Are flawed and broken the same to you?
No
Do you agree with me that the two words carry subtle differences and tend to be divided by gender?
Much as I hate to admit this … if I were being honest I’d have to say … in many instances the answer would be yes. Though the women in my family were raised to be fixers. And not just flaw adjusters.
Or is this just me prejudice coming through?
Prejudice? Or simply how you were raised to respond to a situation. Add to that how the people, men or women, that you encounter were raised and you get … not so much a prejudice … as you do a perception. If your opinion is based upon experience and evidence then your opinion (which some could perceive as prejudice ) is a valid assessment. In your case. But not necessarily one that would be valid for someone else.
To put it simply when the external impute dictates the internal perception then it is not prejudice.
It is "C'est la vie"
Such is life.
Did I give you a head ache?

... "C'est la vie"

2nd Chance said...

I actually got that... And once more... RL is diff than what I see in romantic fiction.

I think men are raised more to fix and women are raised more to fit in. Sad, but true. I do hope that is changing.

Hellion said...

I’m drifting in a different boat… sometimes known as HMS “Let it Be.” Othertimes the HMS “I Don’t F*cking Care.”

LOL!

Demi Spawn said...

I suppose I could have made it simple ...
said everyone one has a right/write to their opinion?

Demi Spawn said...

I could have. But I did not ... Its a ... Flaw?! OMG I Flawed ... flawedflawedfllll ...

Being flawed is natural. Being broken is tragic.
Flawed is the nature of mankind. We are all of us flawed to some extent. For me what makes a story interesting is watching how an individual (in real life or in fiction) learns to A. accept their flaws. Or B. Work to overcome their flaws & change for the better.
Being broken is the consequences of a negative encounter with a flawed individual. Or experiencing an event that leaves someone emotionally … and sometimes physically … damaged and battered. The accepting of the changes and/or overcoming the changes that come with being broken makes for an interesting and more realistic story too. In fiction & RL.

2nd Chance said...

Yup, what you said.

What one does with a flaw...well, we pirates, we used 'em! And aren't used by 'em!

P. Kirby said...

Because it's cold and I don't want to go out in the shop...

Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I go with Bo'sun's take. Yeah, I broke something in my hip. Yep, it's still gets sore from time to time. But it's healed. I can use it. When it was broken, I couldn't. Bits of unfused bone are not usable.

I mean, we can argue about degrees of healing, but I just don't see how someone who is emotionally broken--bits of their psyche flopping about loose, unable to make a connection with others, etc.--can get an HEA. At some point, the "break" must heal and become a scar, the "flaw," in order for a person to get on with their life. I've got plenty of "flaws," some induced by "breaking." But I'm not broken. Anymore.

2nd Chance said...

It's cold and raining here... Bonnie is really upset at me about it.

I get the nuance and I'm thinking it really is an individual thing. In my neverending pirate saga...my heroine finds the broken bits of herself floating back into her life again and again. She thinks she's dealt and it resurfaces. Each time, she gets deeper into it until she can really let go of it. It's still there, but it doesn't impact her life or choices anymore.

Much like your leg!

And the relationship with her hero is paramount to how and why she is able to keep dealing with all of it and move forward. Each time stronger than before, more capable than before.

He has a similiar growth pattern... Does that make sense?

I tend to think of myself as bent, I suppose. At times, I broke before I learned to bend.

2nd Chance said...

And it's time to see if Bonnie and I can dodge the raindrops long enough for her to do her stuff! Be back!

P. Kirby said...

What this conversation highlights is how nuanced and varied our perceptions are as readers, writers, ... heck as humans. It reminded me of the ever present "somebody gave me a bad review" posts that pop up on author newsgroups. I totally understand why a bad review would hurt. But often the author doesn't seem to understand that readers are varied animals, coming from very different places in their lives. One person's strong heroine is someone else's dishrag. The sexy alpha male to one reader is someone else's *sshole. Lyrical language to one, is flowery and overwritten to another.

Anyway, it's just interesting. :)

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, my sis e-mailed me about it...she's a lurker since her job would frown on her lingering... And we talked about that.

It's like poetry. Literary students till write papers about what a poet meant. but all in all, what the poet meant when he/she wrote it, what he/she meant when he/she thought of it, what he/she meant ten years later...doesn't matter. It's what the reader reads. Everything comes through a filter of experience and perception.

I feel bad reviews just mean it wasn't the book for that reviewer. They still sting when one reads them, but once you get some distance...it's opinion. And as we all know, there are as many opinions as there are people on the planet.

Probably more!