Sunday, September 11, 2011

Fabulous Interview With the Fabulous Enid Wilson: Not Your Average Pride & Prejudice

JACK: *seated in his throne chair, arms spread wide* Welcome, pirates and wenches to a special edition of Fabulous Interview with the Fabulous Captain Jack Sparrow. It is the 99th episode of the Fabulous Captain Jack Sparrow, and the interviews only keep getting better, kinkier, and more entertaining. *smiles modestly* But that’s why I’m here. *looks around* Where’s the rum? *spies it on a table, grins and reaches for it; a large shadow creeps over the ship and Jack, though he doesn’t seem to notice* Where’s the guest? I'm interviewing the incomparable Enid Wilson today! I hate it when Hellie misplaces the guest. It’s so unprofessional. What is with this shade? Have the lights gone out? Doesn’t Hal usually man the lights? HAL!


JACK is illuminated by a white beam of light, startling him from his criticism.


JACK: Hal! Not that much light! This is an interview, not an interrogation!


JACK is sucked up into the spaceship, landing in a silver cup chair on a deck that looks like it’s from the set of Star Trek.


JACK: Oh, bugger.


ENID: *a beautiful woman in a silver outfit smiles at him* Jack! I’m so glad you could join me today.


JACK: J-J-Join you? Oh, but of course, was…er…I supposed to join you for the interview I give on my ship? I do still have a ship, don’t I?

ENID: *laughing* Don’t be hysterical, Jack. Of course you have a ship. I just thought we would be a lot more comfortable up here, in my spaceship.


JACK: Where’s my rum?


ENID: *sighing, pushes a button, beams up rum* Here’s the thing, Jack. I’m not interested in doing things how they’ve always been done. I follow my own drummer, if you will.


JACK: *uncorking rum and taking a long, long draw* Whatever you say, luv. So does this mean I won’t be asking the questions?


ENID: Of course, you will, but because I’m an equal opportunity girl, I get to ask some too.


JACK: Hellie owes me more rum. Sounds great. *clears throat* So let’s start with you, shall we? Tell us about your book, Every Savage Can Reproduce, Enid—what makes it different? Why will we love it?


ENID: In official wording: in the futuristic society on Planet Earth, Elizabeth Bennet is accused of luring Fitzwilliam Darcy to an illegal establishment, which leads to their exile deep in the center of a rebel planet. The subsequent galactic war exposes dark secrets regarding the autocratic Queen Immortal.


Will Elizabeth and Darcy discover their love for one another and find their way back to Earth in this Pride and Prejudice-inspired science fiction?


But unofficially, Every Savage Can Reproduce is ‘when Elizabeth Bennet meets Mr. Darcy’ in the 39th century, with a mad man, an evil queen, a galactic war and a revolution throw in.


Why will you love it?


If the wild adventure in the book is not enough, my Mr. Darcy is quite an excellent swordsman. A match with you, Captain, will be interesting. I bet Mr. Darcy will win because he uses a laser weapon. *hehe* (you need to update your tech, Captain!)  And the Queen Immortal Catherine de Bourgh in the book, she can rival Barbossa. She has plenty of men serving under her and she likes to turn aliens into pets. No apple is mentioned though but some radioactive dates. The dates are quite useful as they created a talking baby who can protect Darcy and Elizabeth. And there are brain numbing torpedoes hidden by the evil prince. He wants to turn people in Northern Hemisphere into zombies. You’ve to dive into the book to see if the villains get their way. *clapping* Okay, now you: What kind of underwear do you wear, boxers or briefs?


JACK: *almost blushing* I go commando. Less washing required, and this close to the equator, one doesn’t require too many layers of clothes. And might I add: my weapon is just fine; it is huge and fierce…and it does not need to be updated. My turn again: Did I hear you correctly? Your story is the beloved favorite of Pride & Prejudice set in outer space? It sounds a little bit like Star Wars? Bo’sun will want to know if Mr. Darcy is anything like Hans Solo.


ENID: Hans Solo is impressive, but not handsome enough to tempt me! Mr. Darcy is much more to my taste. He is a fine, tall person with stately features and noble mien. Of course, he’s renowned for his prideful attitude and 10,000 a year. Although he’s involved with the Resistance Alliance, he’s President Mrs. Darcy’s First Bloke. The book is more about girl power. Very good, Jack. You’re a lot better at this give and take than you let on. What else are you good at that others might be surprised to know?


JACK: Scrabble. I’m trying to broaden Hellie’s vocabulary, but she’s difficult to teach. Might I add: I applaud your girl power. I am equal opportunity lover. I love all beautiful women equally. Since your book is based on Pride & Prejudice, I’m assuming your Elizabeth is every bit as clever and witty as the original—and I also bet she would be excellent at Scrabble. Tell us more about your version of Elizabeth. How is she the same and how is she different?


ENID: Lizzy in Every Savage Can Reproduce has read all the self-help books in the galaxy. She’s the one approaching Darcy to ask him to father her child. She’s the one with sunnier outlook when they were trapped in the centre of Planet Hartfield with no possible way of returning to Earth. And of course, she’s the one chosen by people on Earth to become the temporary President. My Elizabeth is definitely as clever and witty as the original but a lot more proactive. That’s not surprising as the futuristic Lizzy faces fewer restrictions in society. Now for an unusual question.


JACK: Your questions have been normal up until now?


ENID: Obviously. Okay—if you were a vegetable, what would you be?


JACK: A potato. Filling, satisfying, and invited to every table. All right, Ms. Wilson, Enid, what will we be seeing next? And when will we be seeing it?


ENID: After Every Savage Can Reproduce, I’ve returned from outer space and back to the time right after the Napoleon War. I have a smuggler in The Spinster’s Vow and my hero owns a ship too, like you, Captain. He takes his new wife across the Channel. I assume you don’t operate in the English and French waters. You won’t come and intrude on their honeymoon? But enough of them, I’m going to graciously assume you have my books on your nightstand—


JACK: That would be a safe assumption.


ENID: So my question is: what do you sleep in, Jack? Your loving fans would like to know.


JACK: *enigmatic smile* I sleep in fear, Enid.


ENID: Excuse me?


JACK: If you slept next to Hellie every night, you’d completely understand. You just never know if the cuddly version of Hellie is coming to bed, or the one with fourteen limbs and restless leg syndrome is coming. Okay, my turn: What’s your Call Story?


ENID: It’s in fact about the conception of Every Savage Can Reproduce. Originally it was a drabble challenge. A reader asked me to write a drabble with the word “hussy” in it. I wrote the short story where Lizzy propositioned to Darcy, asking to have his child, because she’s sick and she needs to have a child fast, or else she won’t able to have children later. After the short story was published, another reader sent me an email, told me she’s having problem conceiving, even with IVF and she’s really sad. I felt a deep connection and responsibility to write and continue to write happily-ever-after romance.


I turned the modern hussy drabble into a galactic sci-fi. And I’m happy to say that the reader has since conceived. She even sent me the ultrasound photo. Her boy is two years old now. Yes, it has taken me over two years to complete this novel. It’s been a bumpy ride. Now, let’s not get too sentimental. I’ve a question. Do you believe in aliens and life on other planets?


JACK: Of course. We managed to get it on this planet, didn’t we? Why wouldn’t it be on other planets? In cards, you can get a great hand twice. Okay, last question, and mine’s a little author color too: it’s a rainy day. What are you wearing, what are you reading, and what are you drinking?


ENID: It’s sunny here. We’re above the sky Sydney. The beginning of spring is lovely. But I’m in full business mode, of course, with Captain Jack Sparrow visiting, I can’t let my guard down. But I do have a picture of Gandhi and a cup of pure water besides me. I like his philosophy of a simple, compassionate and prolific life. Okay, what—


JACK: Sorry, I’m all out of answers today. Now it’s time for you to ask the crew a question.


ENID: Talking about fear and romance, what do you dread most about people’s relationships in our future society? Comment for a chance to win some awesome Aussie souvenirs and a free copy of Every Savage Can Reproduce for your eReader. Thank you Jack, it’s been a pleasure to talk to you. I will beam you back to your ship now.


2nd Chance said...

Okay, firstly! Hector isn't that bad! He's a total dear... I talked him into seeing that dentist and those facial peelings have done wonders for his disposition! He'll even bath without waiting for a request!

Now, what worries me about relationships in our future society? That all the same hangups will still be there... "You can't fall in love with him! He isn't human!"

Blah, blah, blah...

*Come on, Hector...she was just impressed with your awesome villiany in the first movie...didn't see how far you've come in the subsequent ones... You know I loved you from the very beginning! Have some rum!

Enid Wilson said...

Second chance, thanks for visiting my space ship. You must be a lawyer, to be able to talk Hector into seeing the dentist. And in love with a Hector? Why not with Captain Jack or Mr. Darcy, they are more handsome!

Quantum said...

Hi Enid

I like your titles and covers!

I discovered 'Chemical fusion' on Amazon UK kindle books while looking for nuclear fusion. 'nutty professor' sounded like fusion in a test tube. Then I noticed the warning:

Be warned: This title features a nutty professor, sexy assistants, kidnapping and botched condoms.

How could I resist! 8)

Jane Austen in outer space sounds pretty original. Jane must be laughing herself silly, wherever she is now! *grin*

Do you have a mission statement?
Perhaps something like 'to explore strange new books, to seek out new muses and new futures, to sexily go where no writer has gone before'

ENID: Talking about fear and romance, what do you dread most about people’s relationships in our future society?

I don't normally think centuries ahead, coping with the week ahead is usually quite enough. I make an exception for visiting celebrities though.

For the distant future when I am a ghost roaming the galaxies, I dread to find that romance has died. High tech advances have taken the fun out of sex. Conception is all done with a pill. I shudder just to think of it.

I'm going to take Jane Austen's books with me when I finally go back to my maker!

Great interview. Jack definitely needs a laser scimitar. :lol:

Enid Wilson said...

Dear Quantum, it's good that you agree with me about Jack's scimitar. Maybe, we can raid some boring rich people in space and buy Jack some laser birthday gift! What colour does Jack like best?

And sorry to distract you from your nuclear study and take you to a nutty virginal professor. I hope it does not lead to any explosion at your end.

Have no fear about having no fun out of sex in future. I think people will blog about their journey of conception in the galaxypost.

The mission statement is great. I'm sure I can lure in new assistants with such grand words. They will protect me from the tomatoes thrown by the purists.

Bosun said...

Good morning, Enid. My goodness, this is the twist of all twists! We may have found a guest pirate with as vivid an imagination as our dear bartender. And I do love a change of scenery. *glances around at all the pretty lights and buttons*

What does this one do? *pushes button, ejects Jack to parts unknown* Oops, sorry.

I think I agree with Chance, I'm afraid nothing will change in the realm of relationships. The same prejudices, hang-ups, and land mines will still exist. Though I do hope that Renaissance ideal of beauty comes back around. I could be a supermodel. Ha!

Bosun said...

I meant to ask, with your return to a more "Earthly" setting and period, do you find yourself straining at the limitations of a more grounded story?

Marnee said...

This story sounds so interesting! I love Pride and Prejudice so I think I would really like this. And I think it's awesome that a reader's infertility journey inspired the story... and that she's since found her happily ever after in that regard.

As to what I fear about people's relationships in our future society? I fear that despite all the technology available that allows us all to communicate so efficiently, we're losing the ability to actually "talk." Sometimes important things need more than 140 characters.

So what made you want to make this story futuristic? Was there some element of the story that only seemed to work in another future world?

The Old Silly said...

Really enjoyed the interview! Fun stuff, and revealing about this fine book. Also enjoyed hosting Enid yesterday on my Free Spirit Blog. Great tour so far, and this is another fine stop. What do I fear about relationships in the future? Well, in a world today where already you can tell how serious someone is about their romantic life by what their Facebook status is, where e-communication and texting have replace actual conversation, where people spend more time in video game and virtual reality rather than the actual world we live in ... I fear that within a decade or so we'll have our surrogates having sex with each other rather than our real bodies, because we can dial up the level of intensity of pleasure to whatever amount of gigabytes our machines allow us too!

Marvin D Wilson

P. Kirby said...

I've never actually made it through Pride and Prejudice, but this sounds like loads of fun!

Last night I got slammed by a migraine, so my brain this morning is moosh. So I'll just agree with Chance and say that yeah, I hope in the future, we've gotten past most of our stupid hangups.

2nd Chance said...

There be nothin' wrong wit' Hector! I like a man with an interestin' face and hang the pretty requirement! Hector gots style! And it didn't take any lawyering at all, just some basic requirements if'n he wanted ta hang about me bar!

Terrio - Jack will flourish in parts unknown. Probably come back with a pair of green skinned beauties on his arms!

Bosun said...

I've caught At Worlds End a couple times in the last week or so. That marriage scene cracks me up every time. LOL! "I'm a little busy at the moment!" And then he still marries them with flare. Until he gets to the end. "Just kiss!"

That character did make a big sweep from start to finish. And I haven't even seen #4 yet.

Enid Wilson said...

I had a beauty sleep and so many pirates have gathered already. @ bo'sun, be careful which eject button you push, you may release Captain back to Medieval times. Jack may become a King.

I guess women will be the same women in future world. All their hangs will be the same. And men will be men, they still like girls with all the packaging, instead of with brain. And watching At Worlds End a few times, did you not need to go pirating?

Since I came back down to Napaleon time, life has been slow. Only until the hero and heroine have sailed past the English channel to Corisca did they have some actions.

Enid Wilson said...

@marnee thanks for gracing my space ship, all the pirates here have failed the relationship test, if we were only allowed to say thing with 130 characters! As for taking this story futuristic, I love messing with people's body and mind, hehe evil grin as Hector, so it's much easier to set it in 39th century.

@Marvin, ah you got suck in to Captain Jack's ship. Virtual sex? At least, that's a bit better than the pill Quantum talked about. We really need the beaming machine, so we can have real world interaction from across the galaxy.

@kirby, hope your head feel better. Maybe Hector has put something into your drink? Hehe. Or Chance has.

@Chance, green skin beauties and Captain Jack, now that's interesting. Perhaps a gal named Jacqueline Ibis.

Hellion said...

Enid, I'm sorry I haven't gotten here until now (I've been running Dad around to more Dr. appts, but fortunately he's so far so good and we got a good meal out of all the running around.)

I agree with Bo'sun--I do believe your imagination may rival our bartender's! *LOL*

My biggest fear for the future? Well, if the current trend keeps going, everything will be virtual. Virtual hook ups, virtual dating, virtual sex--and especially the last thing seems a little, well, cold. *LOL* I'm not afraid of our hangups being the same; so long as we're human we're going to have those hangups. Those never change. But technology does; and we love the convenience of our technology. Just how lazy are we going to get with dating and sex...and marriage? Even our marriages will happen virtually. *LOL* Virtual fighting--do you know how nasty people get when they don't have to say something to you face? *LOL* Eeek.

Bosun said...

Enid - I have no doubt Jack would become the most famous court jester who ever lived. LOL!

Enid Wilson said...

@Hellion, hope your Dad has put up his feet and rest a bit. Ah, virtual fighting. That's interesting. En garde Captain and raise your sword! King Arthur is attacking you from behind...oh oh @bo'sun, now Jack turns around in 180 degree, boom, bang, oops, he has jumped three times, like an Aussie kangaroo and kick Arthur on the shin...Hehe, you pirates are such fun. I don't need the rum to get drunk!