Sunday, December 19, 2010

Carols of the Books

As usual, I couldn't make decision. Originally I chose Angels We Have Heard On High to parody, but then a couple weeks later, I heard The Chipmunk Song and it sounded so much like the crew, I had to write a song about it as well. So you're going to have to read both.

Novels we have read all night,
Sleepless we have yawned all day,
But The End turned out all right
Resulting in our joyous praise!

Eloisa, you have done it again!
Eloisa, you have done it again!

Readers, why this jubilee?
Why your praise on Amazon?
How many stars—much more than three,
Which inspire your review so long?

Eloisa, you have done it again!
Eloisa, you have done it again!

Come to Regency and lark,
London, Bath, and Pemberley;
Come, watch the rake make his mark
As he falls in love for all to see.

Eloisa, you have done it again!
Eloisa, you have done it again!

Mayne will always be my fave,
Though other tales we’ve all have seen.
His eyes, his hair, I’ll always rave,
And his love for a girl who is much like me.

Eloisa, you have done it again!
Eloisa, you have done it again!

Actually I'm looking forward to a lot of upcoming books in late December and January. Monica McCarty's new Highland Guardian novel, The Ranger; Elizabeth Hoyt's next in her new series--Lord, I love her books!!; and Eloisa's Beauty and Beast retelling. 2011 is going to be a great year for all of us!

Hellion: All right you pirates! Ready to sing your song?

Chance: Aye, we are, Captain!

Donna: I’m sorta busy

Marn: Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing. *bouncing up and down*

Hellion: Okay, Terri?

Terri: I’m here, aren’t I?

Hellion: Okay, Hal?

Hal: Cookies?

Hellion: Okay, Sin? Sin? SIN!

Sin: Okay!!!

Book launch, book launch time’s at hand,
Time to read and work on our tans!
We’ve been patient, but we can’t endure,
Hurry, book launch, you’ve got the Cure.
Want a story with twists and turns,
Me, I want to burn, baby, burn!
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please, book launch, don’t be late.

Hellion: Okay, pirates, get ready. That was very good, Donna.

Donna: Naturally

Hellion: Very good, Hal.

Hal: Coooookie!

Hellion: Ah, Sin, you were a little squeaky, watch it. *pauses* Ah, Sin. Sin. SIN!

Sin: OKAY!

Want a story with twists and turns,
Me, I want to burn, baby, burn!
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please, book launch, don’t be late.
We can hardly stand the wait,
Please, book launch, don’t be late.

Hellion: Very good, wenches

All: Let’s sing it again! Yeah, let’s sing it again? Do you think it will make Eloisa write faster?

Hellion: No, let’s not overdo it, and no, it won’t make Eloisa write faster.

Sin: How can we possibly overdo it?

Hal: Cookies?

Chance: Or with Vegas lights?

Terri: SEQUINS!

All: We want to sing it again!

Hellion: Why don’t we go get some rum?

All: Why can’t we sing it again? *arguing ensues*

What books are you looking forward to in the coming months? Let's start stockpiling our TBR piles! And tune in tomorrow where Bo'sun does the best parody of God Bless You Merry Gentlemen you've ever sang!! BEST. PARODY. EVER.

59 comments:

2nd Chance said...

Rum! Rum pa more rum!

Oh, sorry, that's for Friday.

Wow, you actually connected yours to books, Cap'n. That's why you're the captain and I'm the bartender!

What books am I looking forward to? Oh, the next in the Dresden Files, the next in the Nightside series... Kim Harrison's new one. And Eloisa! You bet!

And MINE!!!

Quantum said...

BRAVO!!

If you was rattlin yer box on me door step I'd give ya all a fiver.... with a cookie for Hal *grin*

Books I'm looking forward to?

Well that has to be !The Kracked Mirror' .... is that title right? .... anyway ya knows the one!
AND Donna's masterpiece of course.

Boy I'm swooning just thinking about it.

Helli you have done it again! LOL

Bosun said...

Aw shucks. *kicks a pebble across the deck* Yer makin' me blush.

Great job on TWO classic Christmas tunes. And I get to be cranky, which suits me this morning. It's too freaking early!

I'm anxiously awaiting Eloisa's take on Beauty & the Beast, but I'm behind on everthing else. Even the new SEP has characters from books I've yet to read. Maybe 2011 will be the year I catch up, but I doubt it.

I can't wait until we get to have the launch party for Chance. Man, that will be a party to end all parties. LOL!

Irisheyes said...

Kids home on break, lots of errands but I'm gonna try to come back later with my book list. On my way out the door but I had to say a really quick - THAT WAS AWESOME, HELLI!!!!

hal said...

Cookies!!! What fun, and wonderful parody! I don't know if there's any upcoming books I'm super excited about, but I've been gorging myself on Regencies recently. I figure I only have so much more time left when I can just sit on the couch for hours on end and read without anything to distract me. So I'm taking full advantage. I've been reading Mary Balogh this weekend -- "First Came Love," "Then Came Seduction"....sigh. They're so wonderful!

Anybody got a good list of Regency authors I should try?

Donna said...

LOL, that was fun. And I really AM busy! I swear! I loved that Sin got to be Alvin. :)

I'm not sure what I'm looking forward to reading, to be honest. I'd kinda forgotten the new SEP, so that is on the list now. And I haven't read the last Eloisa yet, even though I had to buy it on the day it came out. Oh, I'm looking forward to the new Suzanne Brockmann, in March. It's the last of the series--she says "for a while", but I think it's the end, and it's only fair. It's book 16.

Donna said...

Q, you're a sweetheart. I'm a nervous wreck about you guys reading my stuff until it's actually on the bookshelves. (Just ask Terri--LOL--we've been having this same discussion!)

I don't want you guys leading me to the edge of the ship, telling me there's dolphins out there, and then flipping me overboard when I'm not paying attention. LOL

Marnee said...

This is great! Wonderful parody, Captain!

I'm looking forward to the next Nightkeeper book. I am so far behind on my reading, I'm not sure what else I am looking forward too. Tiffany Clare's next book comes out in the spring, that's exciting. And Chance's book, of course. :)

I think once I get a little more time to spend with my TBR pile, I'll be better able to answer this question.

Donna said...

Chance, when is your book being released? I want to be ready to party. I hope I can read it on my laptop--either that or I'm gonna have to try to "liberate" Terri's e-reader when she's looking at the dolphins. LOL

Bosun said...

Don't be touching my ereader. I'll be feeding you to those dolphins...

Hellion said...

Chance, the fact I connected mine to books was a happy accident. Though with many of my parodies, I'm much inspired by Eloisa.

And we're all looking forward to your book in the coming year as well! I hope this ship will be able to hold the party we'll be throwing. And the rum needed for such a party.

Hellion said...

Q, I'm so glad we're worth a fiver! I'd totally spend it on a Christmas Cracker--I could use a new hat.

Someone get this man a scotch! We can't have any swooning men over here! *a big tumbler of scotch is poured, Q is revived*

Janga said...

I love the parodies, Hellie. I'm going to hear "We can hardly stand the wait,/ Please, book launch, don’t be late" every time the grands play the Chipmunk Song--and that's very often.

I already have nearly a hundred books on my 2011 book calendar, so I'm eagerly awaiting a lot of book launches next year. I'll save the long list for my blog, but I'm especially looking forward to Mary Balogh's The Secret Mistress (prequel to her Mistress series, the story of Lady Angeline Dudley, Tresham and Lord Ferdinand's sister, and of Edward Ailsbury, Earl of Heyward), Loretta Chase's Silk Is for Seduction, Jennifer Ashley's The Many Sins of Lord Cameron, Miranda Neville's How to Marry a Governess--and, of course, to all my friends' new releases. All the named books are summer releases, so I have a fairly long wait. But there are lots of great book being released in the meantime, including EJ's When Beauty Tamed the Beast on January 25.

Hal, Balogh's a great. Whom have you read? Others at the top of my list of favorite Regency authors (in no particular order) are Eloisa James, Julia Quinn, Anne Gracie, Connie Brockway, Loretta Chase, Jo Beverley, Mary Jo Putney, Lisa Kleypas, Teresa Medeiros, Christina Dodd, Candice Hern, Carla Kelly . . . And that's just those I've been reading for years.

Hellion said...

Irish, it's so great to have you on the ship, no matter how briefly!! Let me know your booklist if you can...and if you can only do it tomorrow, feel free to put it on Terri's blog. *LOL*

Hellion said...

Bo'sun, oh, yes, SEP's Call Me Irresistible is out in January too, isn't it? A feast in January!! I guess if we can't indulge in bonbons in the New Year (all those diet resolutions), I guess we can gorge on HEAs galore!

Hellion said...

Hal, I wasn't sure what you're craving these days. Sorry if it isn't cookies. *LOL* If I was pregnant, it'd be Chinese food. "Eggroll?" "Steamed DUMPLINGS!" "MOO GOO GAI PAN!" It'd be nuts. Actually I sound a lot like that now, only I'm technically not pregnant. I *look* pregnant...but that's a different problem.

I don't know if I can think of any good Mary Balough like writers. The few new Regency writers I've read lately are not in her league at all. *LOL* Mary is funny but dark and twisty, I think. The story feels real rather than farcical. Whereas the new stuff I've read lately is much more farcical.

Hellion said...

Donna, I hate when good things come to an end; however, maybe this will open up a new series from her that's just as good with just as lovable characters!

Do not "liberate" Terri's e-Reader this close to Christmas. Santa's watching. Do it after Christmas when he's too exhausted to hold it against you.

Hellion said...

Marn, I'm with you on the Nightkeepers series. I think Jessica has done an awesome job with her world building! And I too am looking forward to Tiffany's sophomore book. I believe she said the hero of it is based off Alan Rickman--so I keep imagining a naughty Colonel Brandon. (Because it's Tiffany and of course, the hero will have to be naughty.)

Hellion said...

Bo'sun, now, now, you know the dolphins aren't going to eat Donna. They're much more likely to lick her to death.

hal said...

Cookies are at the top of the list. I don't have much of a sweet tooth normally, but suddenly, I can't keep my hands out of the brownie plate. But what the hell, I have a good excuse :)

I do love the dark and twisted Regencies. *g*. Anything with tortured heroes. Or heroines. Is it weird that I want books to make me cry at least once? Lol.

Janga - that's an awesome list, thanks! I've never read Anne Gracie, Connie Brockway, Loretta Chase, or Teresa Medeiros. Off to the library!!!

Donna said...

See, this is why I don't want you reading my books, because mine are NOT dark and twisty, or angsty. They lean towards farcical, which of course is what I've always written, but now the market will be considered glutted. . .

*dives overboard so nobody has to push my whiny ass over*

Hey, I think I'm craving Chinese food now.

Donna said...

Yeesh, I went overboard before I saw the "dolphin licking" part.

*swims really really fast*

Hellion said...

Janga, they play that Chipmunk Song A LOT at Christmas don't they? *LOL* I think my sister bought the record of this song for me when I was a kid and I played it over and over and over. I think the record has "mysteriously" disappeared.

Thank God you are here to list the other authors!! *LOL* I couldn't think of anyone; I'm so bad about not remembering ones to fill in--but ever so good at telling someone what "not" to read. "Don't read her, she's horrible!" I need to work in the other direction as well. *LOL* Anyway, I was nodding at most of your recommendations. *LOL* (Being I think I'm the only non-Loretta Chase fan in existence. Sorry, LC!)

Hellion said...

Is it weird that I want books to make me cry at least once?

I figure you're probably crying about 5 times a day anyway--at least if you have a dark book, you can point to it as an excuse. "He leffffffttttt her!"

I think Annie Gracie is perfect for the crying at least once. Teresa Medeiros' have made me cry too, depending on the book, like Yours Until Dawn and Whisper of Roses. (But I might be in the minority on her.) Annie Gracie--everyone cries.

Hellion said...

Donna, for the love of God, get back on the ship. We have discussed my Purist Tendencies for non-farce in Regencies. Seriously Julia Quinn is about as farcical as I'd want to go. I don't like when the characters act stupid. Like the women take off their clothes by themselves. In front of a man. To prove a point. And they don't have sex and he doesn't do anything... I mean absolutely not would that ever happen. It just loses all credibility with me.

Oh...I just thought of another author for Hal: Kasey Michaels. *LOL* Some of her older Regency stuff. It can be darker, but mostly it seemed intelligent funny...and a bit farcical. At least if anyone was doing anything nuts, it seemed totally in character. My favorite one by her is called Indiscreet.

hal said...

See, this is why I don’t want you reading my books, because mine are NOT dark and twisty, or angsty. They lean towards farcical, which of course is what I’ve always written, but now the market will be considered glutted. .

But I WILL read it, I will love it, and I will gush over it, so just get over it now :)

And I'm not saying I've never read or enjoyed a farcical book. I absolutely have and will! It's kind of like saying, do you prefer chocolate or peanut butter? I'd say chocolate, but that doesn't mean I'd turn down peanut butter. Mix 'em in the right proportion, and both are even better!

hal said...

Thanks Hells - another one for my list. This is fun!

Hellion said...

And I’m not saying I’ve never read or enjoyed a farcical book. I absolutely have and will! It’s kind of like saying, do you prefer chocolate or peanut butter? I’d say chocolate, but that doesn’t mean I’d turn down peanut butter. Mix ‘em in the right proportion, and both are even better!

Well said!!

Bosun said...

Great, now I want PB & Chocolate. Thanks, Hal.

*hands Donna a towel*

You really have to work at being less melodramatic and more farcical. :)

hal said...

I was sitting here dreaming about recees peanut butter cups while typing. Sorry *g*

Marnee said...

Hells - I read an early draft of Tiff's next book. Alan Rickman huh? I could see that....

I need to make more cookies. All this cookie talk just makes it worse for me. :)

Bosun said...

S'alright. I have a bowl of those here in my office. I'm good. LOL!

Donna said...

You really have to work at being less melodramatic and more farcical.

That's funny. LOL I'm just having a bumpy day. . .er, month. I hope to be back to "normal" soon. And I'll let you know when I am, since it won't probably be that obvious to everyone. LOL

Janga said...

One of the many delights of reading an Anne Gracie book is that she makes you laugh and cry within the same book.

Bosun said...

Donna, darling, do you think anyone on this ship is normal?

I HAVE GOT TO READ ANNE GRACIE. I have them on my shelf, I keep meaning to get to them. Someone add more hours to my day!

My goal is to make readers laugh and cry. And sigh.

Donna said...

Thanks, Hal -- and thanks for making me crave peanut butter and chocolate too! I've got to add that to the list, right after Chinese food. Now I'm starvin'!

I loved Kasey Michaels' early Regencies which were lighthearted and witty. When she went to Regency historicals they got a bit wild and dark--still good. But I haven't read any recent ones of hers.

I also love Barbara Metzger. Wicked funny and clever and witty. Yummy heroes. Not a lot of sexy activity, but I still love the characters.

Donna said...

Terri, I thought I saw someone on here that was normal. . .seriously. :)

I haven't read any Anne Gracie yet either. I don't like to cry though. Mmm. I'm torn.

Hellion said...

And I’ll let you know when I am, since it won’t probably be that obvious to everyone.

That sounds like so much like me it shouldn't be funny but it is. *LOL*

Bosun said...

Crap! Donna is never going to read my books.

;)

Oh, you meant Janga. Well, we keep trying to corrupt her but she's a strong-willed Southern woman. They're tough to break.

Hellion said...

Bo'sun, you can read an Anne book when you're waiting for the next Meg Benjamin book. *droll look*

Hellion said...

Donna, I prefer Kasey's older books to her "newer" ones--the lighter witty ones were really good (like Indiscreet), but some of the darker ones were good too! :) I love how she always had quotes at the beginning of chapters.

Donna said...

Terri, I am SO going to read your books, and I know I'll love them. I will just make sure I stop at the Tortuga CVS to get some tissues ahead of time. Don't start acting like ME now. LOL Great. I'm a virus.

Hellie, I remember it was a huge shock when I read KM's first full-length Regency historical because it was SO out there with the sex scenes--which I didn't mind--it was just that I was so used to her Regencies that had nothing but chaste kisses. So it was definitely not expected!

Bosun said...

Janga already talked me into reading another book, which I added to my ereader last night. Maybe if I put some Gracie on my ereader...

*hugs ereader closer and glares at Donna*

Donna said...

Terri, look at what the dolphins are doing! No, over there!

*grabs e-reader*

You've got your manuscript on here for me to read, right?

Bosun said...

*takes Donna out at the knee and retrieves ereader*

Ha! Nope, took it back off. Serves you right.

Sin said...

Awesome as always. I never expect anything less than perfection when I read your parodies Hellie.

Am dreading Wednesday more and more. I suppose I should get started on it. lol

Hellion said...

Sin, you could always get your evil twin to manipulate Donna into doing it.

Bosun said...

I thought her evil twin WAS Donna. LOL!

I already told Hellie Wednesday should be the bloodiest Christmas carol anyone has ever seen.

Hellion said...

Do you hear what I hear?
Gunshots fired at that man
Do you hear what I hear?
A stabbing always sounds so grand.

2nd Chance said...

Lord, go last minute Christmas shopping and miss it all! What a party! And I love farcical anything! Would rather laugh and chuckle than cry anyday!

We may have to take up a fund so Donna can get her e-reader... Don't you get a discount at the bookstore you're working at?

And if anyone finds a copy of the December issue of Realms of Fantasy, where my book is featured in an ad from Decadent, by all means, buy it! I can't find the bloody thing anywhere in my local bookstores! DRAT!

Dolphin tongues are a lot like a cats...rough... Now, the kraken...he just covers ya in slime... ;-)

Donna said...

Sin, you could always get your evil twin to manipulate Donna into doing it.

Hah! I'm sorta busy that day. (Actually I'm working that day.)

Chance, there is no discount on e-readers unfortunately. And of course, I want the most expensive one too. What can I say? I'm a courtesan at heart. I have expensive tastes, which is why I can't afford to support me. LOL

And now after hearing about dolphin tongues, I'm gonna go heave over the side of the ship. LOL

2nd Chance said...

Krakey will probably love that!

Sorry, that was really bad. I was up way too early this morn to hit the mall at 8am...

Donna? Does your Borders have the Dec issue of Realms of Fantasy? Buy 'em and I'll reinburse you to ship them to me...!

Donna said...

Chance, I'm making a note to check for it when I'm there on Wednesday. How many did you want me to get?

And I hope you got what you needed at the mall. Yikes. You've earned a nap, that's for sure!

2nd Chance said...

I doubt you'll see more than three at a time... If ya see three, get 'em! And thanks!

Sin said...

I'm looking forward to the bloodiest Christmas carol of all time. I'd like to use the rest of the world as my subjects as I write at the moment. What is it about the holidays that brings out the idiots? Can't the villages KEEP them pinned up?

Hellion said...

I doubt it. They're free-range idiots. More organic.

2nd Chance said...

Wow, chipmunks on Monday...

Blood on Wednesday...

*snicker on Friday...

Irisheyes said...

Back and none too soon - here comes the snow!!! They're saying 1-4 inches by tomorrow. UGH!

Let's see - I'll second Janga's list. I was not aware Mary Balogh was thisclose to Angeline's story. I love the 2 Mistress books.

Others I can't wait for - SEP's Call Me Irresistible, Elizabeth Hoyt's Notorious Pleasures (have you read the excerpt, Hellie, sounds like it is going to be hilarious, but I really want Silence's story!), Madeline Hunter's Dangerous in Diamonds (I love Castleford - it is going to be interesting to see how she redeems him - he's been pretty depraved in the first 3 books!), Carla Kelly's The Admiral's Penniless Bride, Laura Lee Guhrke's new series starts with the first book on 12/28. I think Robyn Carr's next Virgin River installment, Promise Canyon, starts 12/28 too!

Hal, have you read Madeline Hunter or Elizabeth Hoyt - both have written regency and both are great with angst and humor.

Hellion said...

Yes, Irish! I have read the excerpt and I laughed hysterically! I could picture it perfectly!