Monday, November 29, 2010

Warning: Elements Are Closer Than They Appear

I spent many years of my childhood playing softball. If you ever played as a child, you know every rookie paid their dues standing around in the outfield. But not me. I was a catcher almost from the start.

Basically, I had issues.

Standing in the outfield, the distance to home plate looked like four miles from my young point of view. The pitcher would arc the ball through the air (this was slow pitch, of course) and off the bat it would soar. Heaven forbid it head in my direction. When it did, I would charge forward only to have the ball land several feet behind me. On the next one, I’d run back, back, back, and the ball would drop barely out of the infield.

No depth perception.

This affliction still haunts me today. Yesterday, while my Golden Heart entry was printing, I pulled out a thin manila envelope and printed off a label. For those who don’t know, the GH requires sending six copies of both the synopsis and partial MS. At 55 pages together, that’s 330 pages.

Again, no depth perception. One UPS box later, the entry was ready to go.

Turns out, this depth perception thing applies to writing as well. An idea for a scene pops into the air and I start charging in. Inevitably, I look up from the keyboard and all the good stuff has flown right over my head. I try again and take it way back, certain I’m really catching the emotion and depth of these characters, and all I get is a big thud – it falls short.

If a better writer were handling this blog, this is when she’d start dishing out solutions. This is where you’d find the big pay off. Unfortunately for you, I am NOT a better writer.

My plan is to keep writing and hope I can practice my way out of this dilemma. But I’m sure you guys know all kinds of tips and tricks that I don’t. How do you manage to see your story, get it on the page, and not miss the mark? Is there an author that comes to mind who manages to hit the perfect balance every time?

80 comments:

Hellion said...

Dude, none of our stories make it onto the page like we see it in our heads. They're never as good as we imagined. We can revise and get closer, but eventually you're going to have to settle for "Close enough."

Fortunately by then, some other story will be calling you and you won't be so worried about the old story.

You know how some of the really good actors won't watch the finished movies they've done because they can't stand to see something they could have done better? I think writers do this. I'm always reading where some author or another admits they didn't read the final version of their story, either because they were so damned sick of the thing or they didn't want to find a mistake they couldn't fix.

2nd Chance said...

I think Hellion is right on this. I have a bit of blinder vision. I am certain I have it right...all the way through. Then I read it through and oops. And I work at it again, but from a position where I'm working with a finished (sorta) MS.

And I still don't quite get it. This is where an editor is a godsend. Because after reading something through a bazillion times and getting closer and closer (or not) to the bullseye, the actual target is so full of holes I can't even see the bullseye anymore!

And I do think I finally understand why actors often don't watch their finished movies. If they go to premiers, I bet they spend most of the time watching the audience.

All you can do is all you can do. And the more you do it the better you get at it. And that's the only advice I can offer, is keep doing it and you will get closer. Will you hit the bullseye the first time? Ever?

Eh, probably not! No one does!

Marnee said...

I think I suffer from this too. I'm not sure how to fix it. I'm still working on it.

Right now, I'm trying to focus on filling plot holes prior to writing. Most of the stories I write have suspense elements to them and aren't entirely character driven. I like stories like that, with a strong suspense plot line. But when I try to write those kind of stories, I end up with a suspense that isn't that compelling. And while I'm fretting over these plot holes in my suspense, I lose the character aspect of the story.

So I'm left with a plot like a sieve and characters that are missing something.

No depth and no depth perception.

I'm working on it.

A better writer would have a better tip for you but I've gots nothing. :)

Bosun said...

Exactly how close is close enough? Cause when I played outfield, I was nowhere close to guessing where that ball would land. LOL! Seems like to settle for close enough, you'd have to at least be in the ballpark.

I'm in the parking lot. :)

I do hear that all the time about actors, and I see their point now. There's always going to be a word, a sentence, a chapter that you long to tweak. Better to let it go and move on.

Bosun said...

Chance - That bullseye is the perfect analogy. I feel really good when I have the rough draft done because I know it's there and all I have to do is polish it a bit. But then I start polishing and the next thing I know, I've rubbed giant chunks right off and have no idea how to get them back. LOL!

Bosun said...

You know, Marn, I think you need to embrace Hal's "second draft" idea. There really is only so much you can do before hand. It's like planting tomatoes and trying to determine before they ever pop out of the ground how many will grow on each vine. You can't know that, it has to happen on its own.

And so with the story development. You can decide how many you'll plant, and what kind, even how much ground they'll cover. But the rest you have to let happen and just be ready to run with it.

Donna said...

Terri, writing is kind of an apprenticeship thing. We keep doing it and keep learning, and sometimes it feels like we're not progressing, but we are. And each story teaches us something else.

I don't know that there actually IS a place that will be "writing heaven", where we will know everything and can do everything effortlessly. :) But it's nice to dream about it, esp. if it keeps us moving forward.

Sin said...

I never played outfield. Though, I always wished to play outfield. Especially when I was little. The girls in the outfield got to play ponies. I played pitcher until fast pitch and moved to first/third base. When I got older, I needed to be in the action. But I have no hand-eye coordination, so if I played third, I had no idea if the ball would actually make it into the glove of the first baseman. I always over threw it (over the dugout). By high school that was fixed and I played first solely to keep me from having to throw the ball.

So proud of you Ter for getting your GH entry ready and sent!! Congrats for getting it done! Awesome! Now GOOD LUCK!

Sin said...

Now, onward to the question at hand. I get frustrated that I see the scene in my head play out just like on a movie screen. It's perfect. But how do you accurately describe an explosion to a person who's never experienced the searing heat kissing your skin? How the flames flicker and grow as they reach for the sky? Or the way burned rubber burns your nose, makes your eyes water, makes your lungs physically hurt?

Your job as a writer is to fake it all to the point you make the reader believe anything. While it may not be perfect in your head, it's because you've seen the original. Unless someone hooks up to your brain and watches the scenes firsthand, how you've written the scene is the reader's perfection.

Bosun said...

Donna - I'm not crazy enough to think I'll ever know anything. But I'd love to feel a little better about things. When it comes to planning these parties or creating a spreadsheet, I know I'm good at it. I mean, there are a ton of things a spreadsheet can do that I know nothing about, but I'm good enough to do what I need to do.

I'd love to experience an inkling of that confidence with the writing. Even if it was only about one thing. LOL! Just an inkling!

That is the plan, to keep writing and writing and maybe let it go a bit more. I'm not very good at letting things just happen.

Shut up, Hellie.

hal said...

If a better writer were handling this blog, this is when she’d start dishing out solutions.

*pshoosh*

(that was me making a "yeah right" noise). lol. I think sometimes knowing what *doesn't* work for you is half the battle. I mean, we can't know until we try it, right? So by crossing things off the list that don't work, you actually are making progress, by narrowing the list down to strategies that might work (and in theory, with every item you cross off, your chance of hitting success with the next item increases).

I find that balance absurdly difficult to reach as well, though. I'm working on revisions right now, and struggling to keep straight all the various motivations. Is this really what this character would do? Or is it what I want the character to do for the plot? Cause if it's the latter, than I'm probably not hitting the right balance. I'm just a puppet master, and that's not going to work.

My strategy right now is note cards. lots and lots of them, all color coded by various types. I can't tell if I'm wasting time, or getting somewhere.....guess I'll find out! lol.

Bosun said...

Thanks, Sin! It does feel good to just have this thing off my hands. Since a) I don't expect to final and b) the results aren't announced until next March, it's not like I'm going to start freaking in anticipation. LOL! Now, I just go back to work.

I did play 3rd base and shortstop for a while. But finding girls who would not only play catcher but knew how to do it wasn't easy. Which meant I was back behind the plate more often than not. And I have grinding knees to show for it. *sigh*

hal said...

oh yeah - congrats on getting the Golden Heart sent in!! The one year I entered, I hadn't realized either just how big of a box it was going to take (or how damn expensive it would be overnight it, since I waited until the very last possible second *g*)

Bosun said...

Sin - You've made me see this in a whole new way. Just because what's on the paper isn't exactly what's in my brain, doesn't mean it's not going to work for the reader. Huh. That's pretty damn brilliant. I'm going to have to post that somewhere as a reminder when I want to rip my hair out. LOL!

Bosun said...

Thanks for the congrats, and I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one who thought this crap would fit in an envelope. LOL! I'm actually shipping on the company dime and reimbursing when the bill comes. We use them so much, we get mega-discounts so this should save me a mint.

Bosun said...

Hal - You made that sound in a very lady-like way. LOL! I'm impressed!

It's always juggling, isn't it? And trying to see this giant masterpiece with our nose pressed against the surface. Nigh impossible!

Which is why I love my storyboard. :)

That sounds like a very good plan of attack. And as you say, you already know you don't want to become a puppet master, so you're one step ahead already. And I like this idea of pinpointing the issues actually being progress. You're quite right.

I'm still not sure how to change the problem, but at least I recognize it. Shining the light on it has to be a good thing.

Julie said...

Congratulations upon entering The GoldenHeart, Terri! And good luck. This is a huge milestone for you.

All you can do is all you can do. And the more you do it the better you get at it.

I have to agree with Chance. The more comfortable you become with your writing the better it will be.
Since
As your degree of comfort rises so will your level of confidence. And confidence is one of the cornerstones of competence.

Donna said...

I will piggyback on Sin's comment.

When I taught classes on cardmaking with rubber stamps, people would get upset when their creation didn't match the vision in their head. And I had to remind them that it rarely did for anyone. BUT, the end result was still a good one, and a valid one, even though it was slightly different than what they had hoped to create.

No one else will know what YOU see in your mind, so they won't be able to compare that with what you actually create.

Bosun said...

Thanks, Julie! Out of confidence grows competence. I need to add that to my inspiration wall.

Donna - It's that tunnel vision that so hard to shake. And my desire to stomp like a three year old and whine, "But I want it my way!"

Sin said...

Damn woman get off my back!

*falls over in heap with the DRD*

Just because I'm an inch or two taller than you does NOT give you privileges for piggy back rides.

*huff* Wench.

Logically, I find that to be the best solution. No one sees the scene exactly as you do. If we all had the same scene to write (the basics, mechanics of the scene), NONE of us would write it the same way. Not even close. It is your voice that draws the reader, the voice that gives the reader the picture, but it is up to the reader to interpret the scene from their own experiences.

Bosun said...

*Helps Sin up*

But then we're back to voice, and I think I've lost mine. Or it's not very engaging if I do have one. That's why I need to write a lot more. I've only finished one MS! I need a few more under my belt if I'm going to get better.

The thing nowadays seems to be write ONE and get that ONE published. We need to be reminded that's not very realistic. It happens, but it's not something to be expected.

Sin said...

I don't really think you "lose" voice. I think once you hear your voice so much, you lose the ability to recognize it yourself. The only voice I hear while I'm typing is me reading the text I type to myself while I'm typing it to make sure it sounds okay and that I'm spelling it correctly. I didn't know what "voice" was until someone told me about it.

Meh. That's what I have to say about voice.

Bosun said...

I hate when I turn my iPod on and FORGET it was turned all the way up. Gah! I'm officially deaf in my right ear.

You're probably right, we can't "hear" our own voice. But I like to hear the voices of my characters when I'm writing them and that's something to which I've come close, but never managed to really get a grip on. Seems like the story would come more alive if I were able to get that far into these people.

Do you ever feel, writing in first person, that you struggle to know the characters outside of you POV character?

Donna said...

*jumps up and throws arms into air in a V formation*

Ta Dah!

Sorry about that, Sin. I kinda thought you were ready.

And Terri, I completely understand the inner 3-year-old thing. Mine thinks she runs the show, and all she has to do is wish upon a star and she'll get a pony. LOL

BUT, that's also why she's still three years old. LOL

I don't think I'd want to be in the position of writing one book and getting that published -- the pressure has to be incredible after that, to produce again. I've had the luxury of writing what I want, and doing my apprenticeship without any reader expectations. I'd much prefer that.

Voice comes from experimentation, with different stories, and different storytelling techniques.

Hellion said...

I think Bo'sun just wants to wallow today. We all know her voice is fine. Her storytelling is fine. Her writing is fine.

She's just got a case of the sullens and she's cutting back on chocolate. It must be cloudy today where she lives or something--or her birthday is getting to her. I notice birthdays tend to bring on this sort of behavior even in the most rational of people

Bosun said...

I'm not wallowing, I'm seeking assistance. LOL! That's what y'all are here for, isn't it?!

You had to bring up the birthday? Really? Was that necessary?

Bosun said...

Donna said:
Voice comes from experimentation, with different stories, and different storytelling techniques.

Once again, my inner toddler is bitching "But that will take forever!" LOL! Though I like this idea. I noticed my voice in my short erotic romance is different from my voice in my full contemp. I wonder if that's because one was written almost three years ago or just the different genres?

Rationally, I know the answer is WRITE MORE. But as Hellie points out, rational is out the window this week.

Hellion said...

Mine thinks she runs the show, and all she has to do is wish upon a star and she’ll get a pony.

That doesn't work? Damn.

Julie said...

Just because what’s on the paper isn’t exactly what’s in my brain, doesn’t mean it’s not going to work for the reader.

You’re right. The truth is your words are going to play out in my head differently from how they play out in yours. So I say don’t become obsessive over getting things perfect. Get obsessive over telling me, The Reader, a story that I can clearly visualize in my head. Engage me. Don’t worry so much about dazzling me.

Sarah Harrison
"But fluency and brilliance are not the purpose of the writing. The story is."

"The various acquired skills which make up the craft of writing are all useful tools - but writing is also an art, not to mention a passion. The tools are not the thing itself. The best writing has at its heart a spark of individual creativity, an X-factor which makes it unique and cannot, thank God, be taught. A gifted editor once told me that what she most looked for in a new writer was 'the glint of obsession'."


Obsess if you must. Just make sure that you are obsessing over what counts. And what counts IMO is the story.

Donna said...

Sorry, Hellie. (Psst. You know there's no Santa, right?)

Bosun said...

Julie - You are a font of brilliance and inspiration today. I am obsessing and about all the wrong things. Time to wake the hell up!

That is the bottom line, I read because I love the stories. I need to tell the dang story and get out of my own way.

My inspiration wall is going to be packed by the end of the day.

Hellion said...

You had to bring up the birthday? Really? Was that necessary?

P.S. You're short.

Bosun said...

Oh, Heaven, we just had this same conversation in email. This response should be fun. LOL!

Keep wishing, Hellie, she can't prove the pony will never come.

Hellion said...

You know there’s no Santa, right?

There IS a Santa Claus. He's in the Encyclopedia...and he's a saint. He EXISTS. And it's the spirit of Santa Claus that matters most.

Donna said...

Julie, I like that about "engage me" and not worrying about dazzling.

The reader wants an emotional experience, and that's what I'm trying to focus on. I want people to laugh and forget they had a shitty day, so that's the emotional experience I'm trying to give them with my books.

If they are looking for a DIFFERENT experience, then it doesn't matter how well I write, it probably won't engage them.

Sin said...

Screw you guys.

*pout*

Santa does TOO exist.

Sin said...

Mine thinks she runs the show, and all she has to do is wish upon a star and she’ll get a pony.

According to the Oatmeal, ponies are pretty f*cking awesome. They should show up if you wish upon a star.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/pony

Hellion said...

And I did keep wishing; and I did eventually get my pony, thank you much. Her name was Dance, and she was iron grey with a blonde mane and tail, black eyes with long white lashes, and long dainty legs. She was beautiful and ornery and loved apples and Pepsi. And she smelled like grass and summer and sweat.

Donna said...

There IS a Santa Claus. He’s in the Encyclopedia…and he’s a saint. He EXISTS. And it’s the spirit of Santa Claus that matters most.

Woo doggie. Gonna be a LOT of disappointed 3-year-old writer personas this year. LOL

Heck, I'd like to believe. Because I've got a ton of Hotties on my Christmas Wish List. :)

Bosun said...

That's the exact response I expected. And, technically, she's right. He's all those things.

Sin - That poster just made my day. LOL! Anything that can shit a rainbow has a place on this ship.

Julie said...

Note to self: FedX a pony to Donna's house ...

Bosun said...

Donna - I like that you have a target of making the reader laugh and forget her troubles. I think I want to do too much. I want her to laugh and then cry and then sigh a few times. Perhaps I should come back down to writer Earth.

Hellion said...

*goes over to sit by Sin* Don't worry, Sin. We know he exists.

Sin said...

Do you ever feel, writing in first person, that you struggle to know the characters outside of you POV character?

Writing in first person I can wing a lot more $hit than everyone else. It gives me a freedom third person doesn't allow for, but it also gives me a responsibility to SHOW you as the reader what the other characters are capable of even though you're NEVER in their POV.

Hellion said...

Note to self: FedX a pony to Donna’s house …

I *KNEW* Jules was Santa Claus. She is Byzantine...

Julie said...

I think I want to do too much.

Just tell the story, Terri. Let me worry about how it makes me feel. Cuz you can't control that. You can try to direct my feelings. But you can't control them. I mean everyone has a different perspective on what's funny or sad ...

Sin said...

*whispers to Hells* Jules is a vampire. She told me once. But she made me promise to keep it a secret.

2nd Chance said...

Ha! Well, it's like having a conversation. There is the story you imagine. There is the story you write. There is the story you edit. And edit. And edit. And revise. And edit. Finally, there is the story the editor/agent reads. There is the story the cover artist illustrates. There is the story the first reader reads...which isn't necessarily the story the second reader reads...or the third...or anyone!

I hear authors laugh about the things a reader picks up on that become the center of the story in their heads, whether it was the intended story or not!

So, we write what we think we want to write and they read something totally different...

It's all totally mad! ;-)

Julie said...

*wicked laugh* Oh I'm-a-Santa-something-or-other.

Hellion said...

Cuz you can’t control that.

*slaps knee and laughs* Ha, ha, this is funny, telling Bo'sun she can't control something!

Julie said...

It’s all totally mad!

Like I said Chance. You can't control me.
*innocent look* Me The reader I mean.

Julie said...

Can't control me.
You can manipulate me. But you cannot control me. There’s a difference.

2nd Chance said...

I wouldn't even attempt to control you, Julie. That would be like trying to bridle a tornado!

I'm finding the road to publication is full of many humble detours reg. the power one holds over how anyone will read, understand, agree with or elsewise view the story I know. Or think I know.

You really have to just relax and enjoy the story that others are going to read as much as the one you wrote!

Sin said...

I've got this vision of all of us running around like mind-controlled zombies on the ship.

2nd Chance said...

I’ve got this vision of all of us running around like mind-controlled zombies on the ship.

No, that was the crowds in the mall yesterday!

Buy this! But that! The PERFECT gift! Here! On sale! It comes in red...

Sin said...

Emotion can't be controlled by the writer. Emotion is one of those things that just happens. We all handle emotion differently. Emotions can be tugged on from the writer to the reader, but there is never any control.

Sin said...

Ugh, Christmas Zombies.. the worst.

Julie said...

Speaking of wicked laughs, control, emotion, and manipulation ….

As a joke I told my DD that I wanted to be on SNL. She stopped texting … WTH? Teenagers never stop texting … and started to wave her arms in the air like her armpits were on fire. Then she hit me with a
“NO!”
“No?” I purred like a sweet lil’ innocence kitten. “Why not?“
“NO! You’ll control … you’ll manipulate… with that voice and … That LAUGH! We cannot expose The Nation to That Laugh!”
I just threw back my head and laughed. Wickedly.
"Make that We cannot expose The World to That Laugh!” hissed my DD.
I just laughed even harder.

Bosun said...

Wow, did you all type at the same time? LOL! I had NO message and then TWELVE. WTF??

*stuffs a sock in Hellie's blow hole*

Y'all are shattering the shit out of my tunnel vision, which is exactly what I needed today. LOL!

Bosun said...

Okay, so I can't control anything, but I like this manipulation idea. That's sounds like something I an embrace.

Chance - You're the nut who went to the mall. What were you thinking?

Julie said...

My point? Voice (in my case my actual physical voice) is what made an ordinary situstion like a conversation between mother and daughter interesting.

Bosun said...

Julie - When it comes to speaking voice, I have that one down. Honed through 8 years on the radio. You'd think I could translate that onto the page, but not so easy.

I've never been a fan of SNL, but I'd watch it for you. :)

Julie said...

How do you manage to see your story, get it on the page, and not miss the mark?

The question IMO that you should be asking yourself is this:
So how did I not miss the mark when I was on the radio? Because?


Your Voice is still Your Voice in any medium. For me the techniques that I use when painting a story or telling one out loud are the same that I use when writing one down. Same techniques. Different formats. So obviously there has to be adjustments in how I show what I am trying to project/communicate to the reader. Still. The objective is communication.
I feel that you need to break down what was successful in your radio-telling-a-story-voice into basic elements. Then take those elements and mold them to your writing-telling-a-story-voice.

Same techniques applied to different formats.

Bosun said...

Julie - What I have with my voice is tone and inflection. And I talk with my hands. Maybe that's my problem, my hands are tied when I'm writing.

Well, you know what I mean.

Julie said...

my hands are tied when I’m writing ...


Oooohhh. Well I shouldn't be surprised ... you did say that you wrote some erotica .... LOL

Bosun said...

That's what my co-workers used to tell me. LOL! But I couldn't stop if I tried.

Julie said...

"And I talk with my hands."

Which doesn't make a difference to the audience's perception of your performance on the radio. Cuz we can't see you.

Julie said...

What I have with my voice is tone and inflection. And I talk with my hands.

If you feel that tone and inflection are your strengths, then use words and imagery that control the story's tone and inflection.
I can't see you talking with her hands when I'm reading... However I can see your words talking through your heart.
Transform that "talking with your hands" into " speaking through your heart."

Same technique different format.

Does that make sense?

Julie said...

What I mean to say is... The based on what you've said ...
Tell the story like you're telling it to a friend. And speak from the heart.

Bosun said...

All good advice, Jules. Especially switching out talking with my hands to talking with my heart. Good stuff.

My first reaction is - easier said than done. LOL! But I do think you're onto something. In fact, that's probably what I mean by letting go and just telling the story.

There have been times in the past when I've sent something to my sister and mom for them to read. They inevitably come back with, "I could hear you telling me this story in my head." So I must be getting my voice in there somehow.

2nd Chance said...

There have been times in the past when I’ve sent something to my sister and mom for them to read. They inevitably come back with, “I could hear you telling me this story in my head.” So I must be getting my voice in there somehow.

That's a great compliment! Another one is when someone says they forgot they were reading something a friend wrote. That the story caught them and they forgot who the author was.

Donna said...

Or when you get caught up reading your OWN story. :) I love when that happens.

Bosun said...

That is the coolest treat, Donna. I need that to happen again. LOL!

I hope you all know how awesome you are. I KNEW I'd get great stuff out of this. I'm feeling 200% better than I was just over 24 hours ago, so thanks!

2nd Chance said...

We all need to complain more about the process so you'll know you aren't alone! ;-)

Hellion said...

Don't we complain a lot already? *LOL*

I've been drooling at Kindles at Amazon. I *NEVER* thought that would happen. I scoff at technology. I who don't even have texting on my phone, nor cable, nor even a camera on my phone.

Still, I should buy a new laptop before ever buying an e-reader device.

But it never hurts to look, right?

Julie said...

You want one. You know you doooooo!

2nd Chance said...

Come to the dark side, Hellion... We have fudge! And instant gratification when a new book comes out with a single click...

Though my Sony is more than one click, but I find the control freak aspect of Amazon a bit daunting. So I'll stick with my Sony.

Donna said...

I just read an article about how Am*zon strongarms publishers for unreasonable discounts, and how that ultimately impacts authors. They don't care WHAT they sell. They only started with books because there were a lot of them and it was easier. LOL

So when I go for an e-reader, it will be a different brand. :)

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, that's why I stick with Sony. I'd rather pay a bit more and give it to the author than dance with the giant.

Though I'll be pleased as peaches when mine goes for sale there! ;-)

Twisty, ain't it?

Bosun said...

I have the Sony Reader, but that Nook with color looks really cool! I'm not interested in paying $10 for a romance I can get in paper for less than $7 elsewhere. And have a book in my hand. But if I have to choose between a trade paperback (which is obscenely overpriced) and an ebook version, it's not a tough choice.