Thursday, September 16, 2010

A Friday Parody: Keeping a Positive Attitude

Hellion: Well, it’s the end of the week, and the headliners have been completely out of whack, haven’t they? We just like to keep you on your toes. No room for complacency on this ship, right? So in keeping with keeping on your toes, I thought we’d have a little Friday Musical Dance Parody. (That’s a really bad title. I really should work on that. *shrugs* Eh. No time.)

I’ve been a little dementor’d lately (yes, I made it up, stop picking) and I needed to come up with a little peppy song to inspire me. That this book IS going to rock. That this book IS good enough, sharp enough, and doggone it, people like it. (Yeah, I’m mixing it up, go with it, people.)

Sooo… *whips out a mock up of her novel, gesturing as music for “Greased Lightning” cues*

Well this book is scintillatin’, captivatin’, fascinatin’—

Why it could be a Best Seller!

*Marn & Hal whiz onto the ship’s deck on their office chairs*: “We’re listening!”

Hellion: We’ll get some overbuff heroes and some quick-witted broads, oh yeah

Marn & Hal: Keep talkin’, whoa keep talkin’!

Hellion: Work confrontation conflict and sexy chemistry, oh yeah,

Sin: I’m going to write this! I’m really going to write this!

Hellion: With some sex against the wall, they’ll be rushin’ to the mall

You know we will persist when we make the NYT list

Best Seller!

(Chorus: all RWR crew, in sequined pirate costumes and dancing around a float with rotating bestseller books and a cartoonish statue of a NYT editor)

Go, Best Seller,

You’re burnin’ up the New York Times!

Best Seller, go Best Seller,

Go Best Seller

You’ve got those readers all standin’ in lines!

Best Seller, go Best Seller,

You’re totally neat!

Success is sweet!

Best Seller

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
Hellion: We’ll get some mean and nasty villain and a lot of quirky friends, oh yeah,

A disabled dashhound and perhaps a meddling mother, depends, oh yeah,

With new plot twists, guns, and sex

I can get those readers to spend their checks

You know that I ain’t braggin, but my hero’s great at shaggin’

Best Seller!

Bo’sun: Hey, where did the “chicks’ll cream” go? I don’t know about you, but if a hero had me against a wall, I’d….

RWR crew: (hanging off the editor statue and synchronized hand movements and Elvis hip movements)

(Chorus)

Go, Best Seller,

You’re burnin’ up the New York Times!

Best Seller, go Best Seller,

Go Best Seller

You’ve got those readers all standin’ in lines!

Best Seller, go Best Seller,

You’re totally neat!

Success is sweet!

Best Seller

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

Hellion: Go, go, go—go write that bestseller. What the hell are you guys still doing on this deck? You should be writing, not screwing around, singing badly written parodies! Go, now! And don’t come back until you can tell me you’ve written at least 500 words today.

50 comments:

2nd Chance said...

I'll be back in the morning, maybe. Got home late and I'm sleeping in tomorrow... But I got a great idea fer the cute meet blog from earlier today...uh...yesterday... And know where I want to go with the book I'm working on. So, next time you hear from me...I'll report words written!

Marnee Jo said...

LOL! This is great Hells! :) I should be able to write 5000 today. Maybe I'll even shoot to be the FIRST! :) Though the percocet I'm on might make them utter dreck but I'll give it a go.

Donna said...

You're brilliant, Hellie. :) I'm very inspired now.

*races off to write 500 words*

*races back*

Did Marn say she's going to write five THOUSAND words today? Dang. Hand over the percocet, girl! LOL

Bosun said...

*applauds*

I love the added touches. I can see Marn and Hal racing around on those rolling chairs. LOL!

I'm home sick today, think I ate bad chicken last night. (Note to self: if the color doesn't look right, don't eat it.)

I'm about to try to make up for the sleep I lost last night, but I'll do my best to write at least 500 words today. I need to write a lot more than that, but it's a start!

Hellion said...

Sleep in, 2nd! I know you've been busy. And good luck on the meet-cute scene you want to work on. Report back with your word count! :)

Hellion said...

Donna, it does sound like Marn has some good meds, doesn't it? Nose to the grindstone, woman. I know you can write 5000 words as well. Report back with something. :)

Hellion said...

Marn, I'd love it if you wrote 5000 words! You'll be a best seller in no time!! There's no such thing as dreck today. All writing is good!

Hellion said...

Bo'sun, I'm sending you the cookbook right away. Honestly. Get some rest--that sounds nasty, but that's why I chose 500 words. It's a rather achievable goal, even for a Friday. I wanted people to feel good about achieving the daily goal. *LOL*

Julie said...

“Great parody, Hellion! I was just wondering when you were going to do one of those again!” said Julie who was fervently unplugging her headset. She quickly handed them to her dog with the hope the hairy creature would bury the things out in the backyard. Lest her mistress be tempted to record a little Friday Musical …

Donna said...

Sorry to hear you're sick, Terri. Food poisoning things always seem so much more violent than "regular" illnesses. Poor thing.

Reporting back. . .to report that I don't have anything to report just yet! Okay, back to the grindstone -- maybe I should shape my nose a little while I'm at it. LOL

Bosun said...

OH! The grindstone. I got it.

Man, I need a nap...

Bosun said...

Thanks, guys. My tummy is NOT happy right now. And I can't doze off because I'm handling a mini-crisis on my work email. Seriously, I don't know how these people function.

What does "shape my nose" mean? LOL!

Marnee Jo said...

LOL! I'm definitely on the meds. I mean 500, not 5000. SHeesh. I might as well have said I'd write 50000 today. Oye.

GO go go everyone!!

Donna said...

LOL -- the ship is an interesting place today!

Janga said...

Ugh! Sounds nasty,Ter. Get some rest and feel better soon.

Hellie, I loved the parody. I can just see the pirates performing that one.

I just typed my 1182nd word for the day and was feeling really pleased with myself until I read Marn's plan to write 5000. :)

Donna said...

LOL, Janga -- yeah, Marn's messing up the curve for everybody.

Congrats on your word count though. So far all I've got to show is comments here, and a couple other places. And a few tweets. . .

*runs away with a red face*

Marnee Jo said...

I'm not messing with the curve, I swear! :( I'm just medicated!! LOL!!

Ter, I hope you feel better. :( Get some rest.

Julie said...

Terri, I hope you feel better soon too.

Poor thing.

2nd Chance said...

I think we should make Marn stick wit' her drug induced goal... BWAH HA HA!

Terrio! Gotta watch it with chicken! Get better, babe!

Marnee Jo said...

Slave drivers.... LOL!!

Donna said...

I forgot to look at my starting wordcount. But I've been tweaking and adding/deleting a section this whole time -- so I'm counting it as part of my 500 words. Even if I don't know how many words stayed alive. LOL

Donna said...

Oh, and in case you're wondering. . .I'm SO using writing as my HOA today, to avoid other stuff I need to do.

It feels kinda weird. Usually the HOA is used to avoid writing. Crazy upside down world today. LOL

2nd Chance said...

Is it opposite day, Donnaroo?

Donna said...

It must be, Chance! LOL Wonder what else will be different?

Julie said...

There is a weird vibration in the air. It feels like something is about to happen...
C'è una strana vibrazione nell'aria. Sento come se qualcosa sta per accadere. Ma che cosa?
Caro Signore!
Sto parlando in italiano? Ahimè ... Questo è ciò che ho per il canto O Sole Mio al cane in Pig Latin.
Sì, è un testa in giù Crazy mondo di oggi!

Julie said...

Non è un caso, Donna, è Italiano!

Julie said...

Translation:

There is a weird vibration in the air. It feels like something is about to happen. But What?
Dear Lord!
I’m speaking in Italian? Alas ... That is what I get for singing O Sole Mio to the dog in Pig Latin.
Yes it is a Crazy upside down world today!

&

It isn't Chance, Donna, it is Italian!

Julie said...

Julie dandole evitare di fare qualcosa di utile con la sua volta un flare elegante Continental!


(Julie giving her avoidance of doing anything useful with her time an elegant Continental flare!)

Julie said...

Pirata!

Donna said...

Very elegant, Miss Julie. :) I like "Pirata". I might need to steal that.

2nd Chance said...

I'm reporting in with 1000 words so far!

Donna said...

I'm reporting in with a keg of rum. LOL

I've worked all day and even though I don't have 500 new words (yet!), I am very happy with the revisions I did on this new prologue.

Thanks for the kick-in-the-butt motivation, Hellie!

2nd Chance said...

Well, I'm closing down tiwh 1800. Not perfect words, but progres made... Now, time to find something for lunch!

Hellion said...

Now, now, don't pick on poor high-as-a-kite Marn. 500 words is the same as 5000...

Jules, you kill me. Italian? Really? Practicing your Italian for when you dress as Catherine de Medici for Halloween this year? (Sorry, been perusing costume patterns this afternoon.)

2nd, huzzah! Setting the bar high for everyone else!!

Donna, yes for the revisions!! Hurray, hurray!!!

Julie said...

Oh I’d think about being Catherine de' Medici ‘cept she’s so grumpy looking. I wanna be someone happy & easy going & innocent looking … like me… so I won’t get blamed for stuff. Life poisonings & massacres.
How ever, I like that thing Ol’ Cate has going on with her name. Did you know Catherine de' Medici’s name was really Caterina Maria Romula di Lorenzo de' Medici?
Its like her name has hair extensions!
So.
I took my name , including my middle and maiden name. translated everything into English. Then? I translated that into Italian.

Julie said...

Peaceful Lady Gift of God's Favor Priestess Of the Oak
Is
Regalo Tranquilla Signora di Sacerdotessa favore di Dio della Quercia

Peaceful Lady Full of Grace Priestess Of the Oak
Is
Lady Tranquilla Piena di Grazia Sacerdotessa della Quercia

I know that that’s a lot of name to handle so you guys can just call me … QuerKi !

*wg*

Hellie said...

I wanna know what my name is in Italian!!

My name means: Freedom and Sorrow, or Freedom and Rebellion (depending on your definition of Mary)--and my last means...what does it mean? Crap. I think it means coal-haired or black-haired.

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, me, too! Hell, I want to learn Italian. Used to like singing in Italian...

2nd Chance said...

So, I did some research.

Maureen means, great (Celtic) dark skinned (French and Latin) bitter (Irish)

So! I'm a dark skinned, bitter great woman.

Fabulous. Sigh.

Di R said...

Hellion~

Great blog! I haven't written today, I've been doun with another sinus infection. Ugh!
However I have been averaging at least 1,000 words a day.

Terri feel better.

Chance, I'm still trying to figure out the search thing on facebook. I'll find you soon, I hope.

Di

Marnee Jo said...

I only managed a little under 400 today. My brain isn't working.

Tomorrow is another day though.

Kate Diamond said...

Today I am going to write! I am not going to grade! Thank you for the inspiring song...

Hellie said...

2nd: I think Maureen might be connected to the name Mary, which has a meaning of "bitter" in some of its translations (as well as rebellious and sorrow).

Di, you go with your 1000 words a day average!! I hope you feel better soon!

Marn, 400 words is almost 500...and it's probably 400 more words than you'd planned to write anyway. You're closer!

Kate, writing is always preferred to grading! *LOL* This is where the HOA would come in and you'd write in order to put off grading. :) Happy writing today. I hope the Writing Gods are with you!

Julie said...

Freedom Sorrow Coal-haired

Libertà Sorrow carbone dai capelli



Freedom Rebellion Black haired

La libertà dai capelli neri Rebellion

Julie said...

Captain Hellion Freedom

Capitano Hellion Libertà!

Julie said...

Dark Skinned Bitter Great Woman

Scuro di pelle Donna Bitter Grande

Julie said...

Great Woman of Second Chances

Grande donna dei Nomadi !

Essere Italiano è così divertente.
( Being Italian is So much fun.)

Julie said...

E ora i miei amici io sono finito.

( And now my friends I am finished. )

Addio

2nd Chance said...

Now I know who to go to when I need to infuse some Italian into my books...

Hel, yeah...the thing is...Maureen was around as an Irish name long before the Christians came to Ireland. Mary is more the name they decided it was all about. The Irish version of my name is longer...something like Mauvorneen... I once had a woman come into the bookstore who spoke Gaelic and she told me how my name sounded in the Irish tongue...and I wish I'd had a recorder to record it, because it was loverlee!

Maybe I'll drop the bitter and just be the dark skinned great woman... ;-)

Julie said...

Maybe I’ll drop the bitter and just be the dark skinned great woman…

Oh? So I guess that means that you want us to start calling you Oprah!