Thursday, July 1, 2010

I Write ‘B’ Books…

In defense of pulp fiction

Dedicated to Edger Rice Burroughs, creator of Tarzan.

Purists disturb me. (I don’t mean ya, Captain Hellion. Chocolate be a callin’ fer ya, and defendin’ the proper use of chocolate be a noble cause.)

I write mutt fiction. Mutt fantasy. There be no purity in me books. (Quit yer snorting, Sin!) Look ‘bout this ship, mates. As most p’rates ships, we ‘borrow’ from the ships we meet. A coat here, a hat there, guns ‘donated’ from others…

And I take me piratin’ seriously. So, I ‘borrow’ a lot a’ things. Now, don’t mean I ain’t an original. I jus’ ain’t a purist. I figure me books ain’t gonna find an easy home in bookstores. I can imagine the clerks, tryin’ ta figure out where ta shelf this mutt…

The title a’ this here blog be I Write ‘B’ Books. What does that mean? Well, many a’ us be big movie fans. Now, I like a good movie, but in truth, I like a bad movie almost as much. Or the movies not quite on the ‘A’ list. The ones that used ta be the second feature at the drive-in theater. (Any a’ you ‘member the drive-in?) In this modern world, I s’pose they be the straight ta DVD movies.


They be horror movies. They be action/adventure. Sometimes they be historicals or love stories. Remakes. Sequels a’ movies that did fairly well. Me favorite ‘B’ movie? It be called Deep Rising, with a stellar cast…Treat Williams, Famke Janssen, Kevin J. O’Connor…featuring a cruise ship terrorized by a ver-r-r-r-ry nasty sea monster. Great stuff!

Favorite ‘B’ books? Tarzan, all a’ ‘em. Edgar Rice Burroughs was a writer a’ pulp fiction. He created Tarzan, but also Pellucidar, a fantasy set at the center of the earth. John Carter of Mars, set on Mars, ‘course. And many more. He wrote fantasy, science fiction, historical, westerns, worked as a war correspondent even.

They weren’t big books. None a’ them. They weren’t considered literature. I ‘magin ERB didn’t make much money on those books in the beginning. But he were a shrewd man and a genius at marketing. His stories fired the mind’s eye and caught the public’s heart. We all know a’ Tarzan. And they all paid off eventually, in a big way!

He just wrote, ERB. And he wrote, and he wrote and he wrote. The world he created were wondrous, full a creations never thought of. He wrote these books beginning around 1912 and wrote until death, in 1950. ERB is me writer hero. (Despite the purely un-pc nature a’ ‘is books. Let’s face it, this were the turn a’ the century. Give the man a break…)

Fantasy gave birth ta many ‘B’ authors. They do well in their genre, but are little known outside a’ their genre. Fritz Leiber, who created Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser, a daring pair of adventurers…real pirates at heart! Robert E. Howard created Conan the Barbarian. Michael Moorcock brought us Elric Of Melnibone. Well, brought me a least! I love these sword and sorcery bits a’ entertainment. And a lot would argue these are not ‘B’ authors. I mean no disrespect!

I’m hopin’ ta someday be known as 2nd Chance, the creator of Miranda and Captain Reynard! And let’s not forget her Albino Kraken and the advent of the Silverton sexual adventure series! And along the side be some rough bits a’ urban fantasy, strange tales of alien libraries, the foxborn… Who knows what insanity I’ll rise wit’ tomorrow?



I thinks sometimes…what would they call Burrough’s books in today’s market? Would any editor be brave enough ta take ‘im on? Aye, they be a product a’ their time and they be flawed, but they survived. They still be in print. In a time when most wrote straight detective fiction, or wondrous literature, he wrote adventure…a man, raised in the jungle by apes. Pretty remarkable fer ‘is time!

I dream a’ bein’ the ERB a’ my generation. (Me dreams don’t extend ta havin’ a town named after me title character, as Tarzana, CA, be, but a sweet followin’ a’ fans would be ‘nuff er me.) I don’t have ambitions a’ being James Michener, Leon Uris, Margaret Mitchell…nor Eloisa James, J. K. Rowling, Lisa Kleypas. I’m not even lookin’ fer the fame of ERB. I don’t write the grand stuff. Me? I write ‘B’ books. And that be good ‘nuff fer me.

Now, what about you? Are you gonna be on the ‘A’ list? The ‘B’ list? Do yer list go further than A & B? Are ya gonna be the Kathy Griffin a’ the book world? Do ya have a favorite ‘B’ author? A series ya can admit ta readin’? Watchin’? What’s yer favorite ‘B’ movie?


Sin said...

Ugh, I can't stand the fourth book.

CONGRATS on your sale, Suzanne!

Sin said...

hahaha I bet you guys didn't know I traveled into the past to post comments.

Obviously Swank is not fixed.

Hellion said...

The Percy Jackson books are great. I'd say they're A list because the more you read them, the more you're impressed by the breadth of knowledge the guy has for Greek God mythology and whatnot. Crazy amount of knowledge utilized!

Bosun said...

Okay, I fixed the time. Let's see what happens.

Sin said...

You know. Something about your post reminded me of my mom when I was a kid. My mother is a huge sci-fi/fantasy fan. She's always loved dragons and other worlds and stories of the future. Maybe that's where I learned my love of the darker side of fantasy.

Chanceroo, do you read Anne McCaffrey? Sometimes when I read your posts I'm reminded of her writing.

2nd Chance said...

Oh, Sinsister! Do I read Anne McCaffrey?!!!

Actually, not anymore. I read her when she first came out but after three of the small dragon Pern books and then the initial series of the large dragon Pern books, I fell out of the habit of reading her. But Last Chance is a big McCaffrey fan.

Wouldn't that be a success story! Make it so big you retire to Ireland where your taxes are low because Ireland welcomes artists, writers, poets and musicans and gives them tax breaks!

I like to say I read dragons stuff and loved dragon stuff before it became super popular. But the more popular it got the more drek was published and I read almost none of it anymore.

Another good series of dragon books is Tea with Black Dragon by R. A. MacAvoy. A very interesting twist of dragon things.

Despite the movie poster, what threatens the lives in Deep Rising isn't a dragon! Sorta looks like one, don't it?

But yes, Sinster, I was raised on first bein' Smaug from The Hobbit, and all sorts of other fantasy, scifi tales. Especially Burroughs!

2nd Chance said...

Ya know, Sin... A lot a' the early fantasy stuff was pretty dark. Conan was off slaughterin' tons a' people...raping, thieving and the like... And there were other series that me late night mind won't bring ta the surface...but there were a lot a' dark things. The era where the dark ending prevailed and victory was snatched from the H/H right at the end...

Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Night Gallery...a lot of classic television dealt with the darkness of humans toward humans. Heck, Land of the Giants, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Time Tunnel... lots of cold war messages on how trust was a rare thing and not to be given quickly or easily.

Aye, there were a string a darkness in most a' it. I think I were young enough that the darkness was there, but I took hope and a sense of adventure from most a' them.

Donna said...

Chance, I love this, and I love your enthusiasm for writing stories that thrill and entertain. I think that aspect gets lost sometimes. But when you think about it, that's why ERB's stories have lasted.

I miss drive-in movies! As a kid I was expected to fall asleep during the second movie, but I rarely did, because it was usually the one I liked the best. LOL

Oh, and one last tidbit. When I was in grade school, Johnny Weismuller was doing an appearance at a local store, so I got to meet him AND have a signed pic of him -- I wish I still had that. LOL

Marnee Jo said...

I don't have designs for writing literary fiction. And I think some of the fun of writing pulpy stuff is that we can experiment, mess with conventions. It keeps it fun.

I admit that I love some of the teeny series. Harry Potter, Twilight. I loved the Percy Jackson books. In fact, I've read each of those series a handful of times. HP, I think I've read at least 20.

Hal said...

I think what I write is probably the equivspalent of a hollywood blockbuster. It's not going to change your life, and the special effects will look absurdly hooky in ten years, but nothing beats it on a hot, summer afternoon.

My favorite b list movie? Has to be wonder boys, and old one where Robert Downy Jr. Was the gay lover of Toby Macguire before he got famous. Haven't seen it in years, but I'd bet I can still quote most of it :)

Suzanne Ferrell said...

Ladies, how have I missed your blog? I think one of the Bandits mentioned it on our private loop this week and here I am checking it out!! Love it!! I'll be forwarding it to my daughter who adores pirates and pirate romance novels!

Not really into "B" books or movies, Second Chance, but definitely loved Tarzan movies, especially the one Legend Of Greystoke with Christopher Lambert and Andie MacDowell. That was some kind of wonderful movie!

Donna said...

I love The Wonder Boys -- I have it on DVD and have seen it several times. Is it a B movie? I hadn't thought of it like that.

My books are meant to be a fun way to get away from the stresses of the day -- an escape that makes you change your mind about going on a murderous rampage. LOL

Hellion said...

I prefer A books from genre fiction (not literary fiction). I'm not a B movie fan at all. *LOL* Purist, as you say. I have a high level of tolerance for stupid comedy (of the Will Ferrell variety, not the 3 Stooges), but no tolerance for bad horror.

Though I am a fan of Independence Day. I don't consider that a B movie though, since it has Will Smith in it. It has moments of B-horror though.

I'd prefer just to make a list of any kind, but if I had my druthers, I'd want to be on the A list. Just so I can thumb my nose at all those nay-sayers who say romance isn't real fiction.

I'm with Marn. I've read HP about 20 times. *LOL* And I've been rereading Twilight a lot too. (The third movie is SO good! OMG!)

Scapegoat said...

I guess I'd say that I am a fan of B movies, becuase the hubby makes fun that I can constantly watch all the crazy ones that SciFi puts out.

It's not that I actually go looking for them, it's that once I see a few minutes the zaniness of the plot or overacting draws me like a moth to a flame.

For my writing, I with Donna. I want to write fun books that help you escape and make you laugh out loud. Even the paranormal story ideas I have run to the funny side. Whether they end up as A or B stories doesn't matter at all to me.

In fact, I'm really hoping to write for Harlequin. For many writers this would make my stories already B or lower. They are the Kathy Griffin of the book world. I don't happen to agree, but hell I love Kathy Griffin so I don't give a rats ass. :)

Donna said...

LOL -- sorry about that Scape -- my "s" key has been sticking lately. I didn't mean to give you a new nickname!

Donna said...

Welcome, Suzanne -- I think your post came in while I was typing. It's a wild and crazy bunch here. I've just recently joined the pirates and felt right at home -- probably because we all have what Chance calls "piratitude", no matter what we write!

Hellion, I haven't read ANY HP books yet. *ducks* I know. I will, one of these days. I did read the 1st 3 books of the Twilight saga, and quit partway through book 4 since I didn't like where it was going. LOL

cape, I love funny stories, especially in paranormals. There just isn't enough funny to go around, as far as I'm concerned!

2nd Chance said...

Morning, lovies! I can just step in and will be back out for about an hour, taking the DH ta work and all... Goin' ta be a crazy day!

Hel, I'm not surprised ya don't care fer the 'B' side a things. I think there be 'A' books and movies, then the action blockbusters are somewhere between the 'A' and 'B' a' things.

'B' movies and books are sorta fillers. Don't mean they ain't good, but they often don't start with a high concept other than pure entertainment...

And bad scifi, Scape, is really a genre all it's own! Did you see that horrible one on SciFi Channel that starred a bunch of folks from Norther Exposure going up against a wyvern? OMG, that was so bad it was delish!

Suzanne! Welcome aboard, come join the merriment. Aye, that were a sweet tempered Tarzan, nice and angsty. Not sure Burroughs wrote it angsty, but they did a good job a' angsty-ing it up!

Blast! DH at the door, tapping his watch. Be back in a bit!

Hellion said...

Donna, the crew is pretty split about who has read the HP books. If you don't want to read fascinating, wonderful books that deal with the themes of love and death, that's your prerogative, insane as I might think it. :)

I loved where the 4th book went. I knew where it was going when they mentioned "it" in the 3rd book and as soon as she gets preggers in the 4th. I thought it was a brilliant demonstration of wrecking everyone's lives, which should always be done in a novel.

Bosun said...

I'm late! Boss finally returned from vacation and that means a busy morning for me.

Welcome aboard, Suzanne! Y'all, Suzanne just sold her first book to Ellora's Cave. She deserves a big Glittery Hooha to celebrate! Someone cover for Chance and pass the glasses round.

I LOVED the drive inn when I was a kid. I think they still run the one back in my hometown. I saw Grease and Bambi and Fast Times at Ridgemont High on those screens. Clearly, not at the same time. In fact, I saw one of your "B" movies there too. Anyone remember Maximum Overdrive? Emilio Estevez and all the machines on Earth coming to life and killing people. I don't even like that sort of thing, but something about seeing it at the drive inn made it all better. LOL!

I guess I'm with Donna and Scape on this one, I want to write stories that take the reader away from her troubles for a while. Make her smile, make her sniffle a bit, and then leave her with a sigh. That's my Three 'S' plan. LOL!

Kathy Griffin kicks ass in her comedy stuff, but she gets so silly on the show sometimes I just can't bear to watch.

Donna said...

Hellie, you can be very persuasive. :) I'll put HP on the TBR list. I gave away the 4th Twilight book though, so that may be a while before it moves up through the TBR ranks.

Donna said...

Congrats, Suzanne! I don't know the recipe for the GH, so I'll just slosh some rum into a tankard. Oh, and here's one for you too. :)

Terri, I love the Three S Plan (even though my keyboard isn't keen on the S key right now -- LOL).

Bosun said...

Isn't it a great plan, Donna? I just came up with it while typing that comment, but I like it! LOL!

Suzanne's book is a Western Erotica, so maybe we should name a new drink in her honor. A Stagecoach Stinger or Possee's Poison. What do you think? That second one could get a little dangerous if you're already a little tipsy when you order one. LOL!

Donna said...

Terri, I love the plan! You're brilliant (and I am going to stand next to you and absorb all the excess brilliance when it falls off you).

Oooh, Western erotica. I think you're right about the second drink -- it's a one-drink MAXIMUM. LOL

Marnee Jo said...

Donna, you might not want to get back the fourth Twilight book. It wasn't that great, I didn't think.

Congrats Suzanne on your sale!!

Hellion said...

Marn, are you an Edward fan? I just found out my college roommate read the books (I didn't think she'd like them because she won't read the HP books...I don't know why, I just thought that.) She's a Jacob fan like me; and I think she likes the 4th book too. I have a theory if you're a Jacob fan, you can deal with the 4th book better.

Bosun said...

Donna, dear, that's just cat hair. Step away lest ye need a lint roller.

I didn't read the books (Twilight here) but I remember the giant hooplah surrounding "it" in book four. Seemed odd to me that everyone accepted all the other stuff, and freaked at that. I mean, it's not like it was a series about a few normal kids kicking it in the Pacific NW and then suddenly that came out of nowhere.

Janga said...

Ter, I like the Three S goal too. I just hope my books don't cause people to sneer.

I suppose all those Saturday matinee Westerns of my childhood were B movies. I loved those movies: Roy and Gene and Hopalong and Lash--they were my first fictional heroes. Except for those and Thunder Road, I was never much of a B movie fan.

I remember the drive-in theater, but I don't remember much about the movies. Early on, I was a pajama-clad kid in the backseat of my parents' car who fell asleep half-way through the first movie. Later, the action onscreen was not the action that held my interest. LOL!

I too am a huge HP fan. Since watching the trailer for HP and the Deathly Hallows, I've been itching to reread all seven books. No Twilight for me--books or movies, but the Percy Jackson books are on my TBR shelf, somewhere behind all the romances and mysteries. LOL!

2nd Chance said...

Lord love a duck! See what happens when someone without the diploma mixes a drink on the ship!? The whole thing drops inta a black hole!


Though a Possee's Poison sounds pretty good...

Set me up a few a' those.

So! What I miss? Some blathering 'bout Twilight, a small not-quite-rant about HP, some discussion 'bout western erotica, and the Bo'suns new Triple S, sniffle, sigh...

Well, the best 'B' adventures will make ya start, snort and smile... (Start as in jump a bit.)

And they make great drinkin' movies. In Deep Rising whenever the hero says, "Now what?" or when the heroine says, "Time to go!" ...ya take a shot of whatever yer poison be.

So maybe I add a fourth S - stagger.

Bosun said...

And we're back to the present. YAY!!!!!!

Bosun said...

Speaking of the Twilight Zone.

Bosun said...

Great, we're back topside and no one is around.

2nd Chance said...

Oh, that is strange! How the heck did that happen? What's in these Possee's Poisons, anywho!?

Well, I'll meander about for a while and see if anyone comes back...

2nd Chance said...

So, a post I tried afore the world turned topsy turvy dealt with the idea a' Harlequin being "B" list. Well, Scapegoat, I think the joke is on those that see it that way... Ya ain't the only author I know who set the goal a bein' in the Harlequin fleet, so go fer it!

The thing 'bout "B" movies and books, they may not make the best sellers list, they may not be heralded as the end-all, be-all of literature, saviors of the story or defenders a' the English language...but they do entertain and they do make money.

So, the joke is on those who pooh-pooh the not-so-high-concept entertainment.

Sometimes, all ya really want ta see if a girl sucked down the toilet by a terrible sea beast.

Watch the movie...ya'll get it!

2nd Chance said...

Ah, blathering ta no one, I adores it. Favorite all time scene in Deep Rising. Something ya don't see in many horror flicks. OK...Pantucci, the ship's engineer and his friend, the Captain Finnegan, have just made it back ta their boat. It's a wreck and Pantucci looks fer his girlfriend...but she's gone. Finnegan feels Pantucci's pain...but Pantucci scurries to the engine room to get the old girl running again. And there's this short scene...seconds long. They cut it a lot when they show this movie on late night tv... Pantucci is wielding and has to stop, pull his goggles off and wipe tears out a' his eyes. Then he squares his shoulders, set the goggles back in place and get's back ta work.


Save fer this one. I loved it. Touching, heartfelt and it raises the movie into the "B+" of movies.

Hellion said...

What always cracks me up in action flicks is when the hero starts kissing the girl in the middle of some crisis. I just want to scream at the TV: we don't have time for that!

2nd Chance said...

BTW, that is he raises an eyebrow.

2nd Chance said...

Yeah, in this movie...moment of crisis and the heroine promises anything if the hero gets her off this cruise ship. He raisea and eyebrow, "Anything?"

She sorta smirks and smiles half-heartedly.

He says, "You get me a cold beer?"

SEE! It's a good "B" movie. And the villain? Reminds me of an ex-brother-in-law, so when he gets it, it's just doubley delightful.

Donna said...

Hey pirates! I just finished my writing exercise, so now I need a nice cold beverage.

Chance, I don't like scary stuff, but that movie sounds funny. I'll go see if Netflix has it. . .

Marnee Jo said...

I just want to scream at the TV: we don’t have time for that!

Doesn't Harry yell at Ron and Hermione for just this? :)

And by the end of Breaking Dawn, I didn't like any of them. Edward was so self defacing and emo, Bella was even more annoying and the whole way she resolved the triangle left me cold. I thought the end, the "big fight" had to be the most anti-climactic ending I've ever read. The Jacob parts smacked of self-pity. I just disliked it all.

2nd Chance said...

Well, it is a little scary...but very funny also. Just be ready to jump. All depends on how badly oozing sea beasts with really nasty eating habits bother you...

But Treat Williams is fab. Famke is a slam/bam heroine. Kevin O'Connor is perfect comic sidekick. And the baddies? Human baddies? Some people you might recognize in there. One guy was a pirate on the first movie. One has been playing a paramedic on "Trauma" and one is a familiar native american actor. And I'm sure the others aren't strangers.

2nd Chance said...

Marn - I'm pleased to say the Twilight books are never gonna be on my radar. Granted, few vampires books are on my radar anymore. But the more I hear about this series and the way the teenies are all going apeshit...just turns me off more and more.

Not to disparage those who dig them. I just know where my limits lie. And this series isn't on any of my TBR lists.

2nd Chance said...

I'm so glad the ship is back to an even keel and sailing along, but I gots ta get me some sustenance. Be back in a bit...if anyone else crawls aboard on this loverlee holiday weekend!

Hellion said...

2nd, do you happen to like the movie Sahara?

Hellion said...

Doesn’t Harry yell at Ron and Hermione for just this?

Yes, he does. One of my favorite parts of book 7. A nice little moment of levity during constant chaos. *LOL*

"If I don't now, mate, I might not get another shot." *LOL* And all because of the running gag about the house elves. It's all hilarious how it ties together. I wish I were a 10th as brilliant as J.K. Rowling.

Quantum said...

I'm having a break from unpacking holiday luggage and couldn't resist a peek! Do you know, I'm convinced that luggage breeds when you don't watch it..... I'll bet Miranda has accumulated a pile during her travels. :lol:

I'm not a B-book fan but I enjoyed Miranda a lot, especially the process of re-charging her magic. Now would I have liked it so much if it was only a B-book? Chance,I think that you are also touched with magic and modesty becomes a sorceress. 8)

I loved the McCaffrey books. Read most of the dragons of Pern series, but preferred the talent series, beginning with Damia. The brain-ship series was also very good. Haven't looked at her most recent work though.

Great blog from a charming sorceress .... If I may say so! *grin*

2nd Chance said...

Nope, Hel...didn't see Sahara...should I? ;-)

Q! Back and all refreshed from the vaca? I envy ya the chance to get away. Sure, I done it some months back, but it weren't as charming as it shoulda been.

Ya been missed, Q-ster! And I be blushin' at yer good words... Ya don't think Miranda be a "B" book, eh? I'm not sure...would love ta see it bloom as McCaffrey's did.

Talent series? I may have to go back into the archives and check these out...I like the idea of what that could be about. Oh, Last Chance? You out there? You read all the McCaffrey books...what's Q talkin' 'bout?

I actually liked the little dragon books better than the big dragon books. Where music was involved... Dragon Drums, Dragon Song, and the third I don't remember.

2nd Chance said...

Now, I'm not all that big on kissing in the midst of danger, but I appreciated Pantucci taking a few seconds to wipe his eyes and mourn for Laila.

In Deep Rising no lip locks till the very end. Then...I love how it ends, on a tropical island, all seems tranquil. Till the camera pans back and you see a volcano inland, all red and boiling...and the jungle canopy is wiping about as a huge creature of somesort roars...

And Finnegan ends with, "Now what?"


Bosun said...

I loved Sahara! I know most hate it, but I loved it. Saw it in the theater. :)

Great to see you back, Q! How was the holiday? Sounds like perhaps Mrs. Q did some shopping? LOL!

Good news, inspection went great. We're moving right along!

Julie said...

Ah, blathering ta no one, I adores it.

Thanks Chance! Its nice to Know that you adore me!

if anyone else crawls aboard on this loverlee holiday weekend!

You’ll what? Throw me over board? Ohhhh wait … HELLION has a high level of tolerance for stupid comedy. Saved by the Belle! Get it the -belle-as in Southern Belle? Okay not that Hellion is Southern exactly but she lives south of me so-oooooh!


Julie slowly crawls back aboard the RWR.

“HEY! Talk about Bs!


AW-come-on-cough-hack where’s yer Pirates’ sense o’ humor? And uhh … where’s Chance’s Kraken?

I don’t have ambitions a’ being James Michener … I’m not even lookin’ fer the fame … I don’t write the grand stuff. Me? I write ‘B’ books.

Chance I have to agree with Q. You are being modest. You’re so Grounded. Its charming. And quite refreshing. Now I on the other hand … I write “P” Stories. P As in Pulitzer. That’s right I said Pul-itz-‘er . Cuz I write the kind of stories that make people say “OhMyGawd Pretend that we’re not home. Quick! Pul’ the door closed … Itz ‘er!”

Julie said...

Now about that Kraken. Chance ...

Julie said...

Donna ... Sin ... Terri ...HalHellionMarneeEEEEEK!

2nd Chance said...

*wandering about the deserted deck...picks up a bit of lace from a bodacious bra...

Hmmm. Someone must a' wondered on late, after I'd put the Kraken on watch. Well, he's kind, he'll toss 'em back when he's done.

Oh! Julie! There ya are. Here, use this ta wipe the slime away. He can't 'elp it, ya know. Just naturally born slimy...

Good pun, btw. Pul-its-her!?

Honestly, ladies, I don't see meself as modest. I like "B" books! I like not havin' ta work too hard ta decipher deeper meanin's when I read. But, time will tell!

Sorry, the ship were deserted...holidays ya know! I'm sure tomorrow's hotties will be all star spangled!

Hellie said...

Jules, I am a Southern belle, even though my state was supposedly not on either side. Right. My great-great-grandfather was a confederate and fought in Arkansas. Died there too. I think I had some cousins who were Yanks.

Julie said...

Jules, I am a Southern belle

AHA! Should-ah known that I was right!
A Pul-its-her caliber writer such as my self has a nose for facts. Speaking of calibers, noses, and facts … I had relatives on both sides of that conflict too.
I’m fairly sure... actually I'm Very sure ... that they spent most of the war shooting at each other.

Yes, Hellion … I made the mistake of nosing around on Wikipedia. Gawd. I really have to stop doing that.