Thursday, May 20, 2010
Act it out for me, baby.
I'm always looking for ways to add more description to my writing. It's like I have these characters, this plot, and it's all happening against an empty backdrop (or at least, if not empty, then definitely sparse).
*********************
I stumbled upon a tip on how to deal with this particular problem, and thought I'd share. The tip (that's a bit of an "oh duh" one): set everything to action. A house isn't large and stately. It sprawls down the side of a mountain. Palm trees aren't planted at 10 foot intervals. They stand guard, fronds reaching to grasp snatches of pre-dawn light, at ten foot intervals across the front of the house.
The replacement of "was" or some other boring verb with an action verb like sprawl or stand or reach completely changes the dynamic of the description. Even the replacement verbs aren't spectacular, but the new sentences give readers a picture of a house that's alive and breathing, not just one "The house was large and stately, and palm trees were planted at 10 foot intervals across the front."
When we look around us, our eye is automatically drawn to anything moving. Try it. Look out the window at the pretty scenery, and our eyes will zoom directly to the bird flying past, or the cat slinking away, or the bowing of a tree from the wind.
Any movement creates a natural sort of curiosity. Not a lot of it -- no one's gripping the oh-shit handles in their car, yelling, "Oh my god, there goes the hawk! He's swooping, he's swooping! Will he catch anything? Oh the suspense!"
But we do wonder what the hawk is doing just enough to let our eyes be drawn to his movement. Now, this isn't to say that descriptions of still things shouldn't be in your novel, or every description has to include big, melodramatic movements.
Just that when our description feels staid and boring, or when description isn't there at all, setting the scenery into motion can breathe new life into your writing.
Here's an awesome example from F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby:
The scenery is moving and breathing, not just relegated to the background. My large and stately house? Here's what I ended up with in the end:
Your turn! As a fun exercise, describe some aspect of the room you're sitting in -- be it your office or living room or bathroom. . . . you know, where ever you read the Revenge (and if it's the bathroom, maybe lie?). Set the description to life. What's the stapler doing? The coffee table? Just for fun, let's take this idea of action waaaaaay too far!
*********************
I stumbled upon a tip on how to deal with this particular problem, and thought I'd share. The tip (that's a bit of an "oh duh" one): set everything to action. A house isn't large and stately. It sprawls down the side of a mountain. Palm trees aren't planted at 10 foot intervals. They stand guard, fronds reaching to grasp snatches of pre-dawn light, at ten foot intervals across the front of the house.
The replacement of "was" or some other boring verb with an action verb like sprawl or stand or reach completely changes the dynamic of the description. Even the replacement verbs aren't spectacular, but the new sentences give readers a picture of a house that's alive and breathing, not just one "The house was large and stately, and palm trees were planted at 10 foot intervals across the front."
When we look around us, our eye is automatically drawn to anything moving. Try it. Look out the window at the pretty scenery, and our eyes will zoom directly to the bird flying past, or the cat slinking away, or the bowing of a tree from the wind.
Any movement creates a natural sort of curiosity. Not a lot of it -- no one's gripping the oh-shit handles in their car, yelling, "Oh my god, there goes the hawk! He's swooping, he's swooping! Will he catch anything? Oh the suspense!"
But we do wonder what the hawk is doing just enough to let our eyes be drawn to his movement. Now, this isn't to say that descriptions of still things shouldn't be in your novel, or every description has to include big, melodramatic movements.
Just that when our description feels staid and boring, or when description isn't there at all, setting the scenery into motion can breathe new life into your writing.
Here's an awesome example from F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby:
The lawn started at the beach and ran toward the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sun dials and brick walls and burning gardens—finally when it reached the house drifting up the sides in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run.
The scenery is moving and breathing, not just relegated to the background. My large and stately house? Here's what I ended up with in the end:
The pinkish hue of the stone walls gave no hint to the violence and bloodshed they contained. The house sprawled low and wide, turrets and eaves haphazardly stacked atop; a bastion of defense and Spanish architecture. Palm trees were granted sentry duty, standing tall, fronds reaching for snatches of pre-dawn light, at ten foot intervals across the front. Craggy mountain tops wore the green flush of summer; guarding from the rear, they remained silent and unmoved.
Your turn! As a fun exercise, describe some aspect of the room you're sitting in -- be it your office or living room or bathroom. . . . you know, where ever you read the Revenge (and if it's the bathroom, maybe lie?). Set the description to life. What's the stapler doing? The coffee table? Just for fun, let's take this idea of action waaaaaay too far!
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88 comments:
Why am I bold?
Hal, this is exactly what I needed today. I was just doing a read through (I'm at about the halfway point) and I was thinking I needed some better description.
Thanks!!
Now about my room...
The couches sagged, tired after a year of hosting toddler calisthenics. A green rug lay trapped under numerous trucks and trains. The ornate candle holder watched the room from the fireplace, saved from the chaos by the two glass doors.
Oh, fun! I have to go out in a few minutes. I'll be back later and play fair. For now, I'm cheating and using a snippet from TLWH:
Downtown Gentry consisted of a single street. Main Street was anchored by the First Baptist Church and First National Bank, posing like two self-important matrons on the north end, and the depot and Mike’s Service Station and Repairs on the south end. The depot hadn’t seen a train since 1952.
That's supposed to be Mike apostrophe s.
We got it, Janga. Silly softwares that don't talk to each other right.
Marn - You're just drawn that way.
I feel like there's a neon sign over my head blinking THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU. I can't do description or action verbs to save my life. LOL! Which is why I'm so looking forward to revision. Once the story is down, then I can go back and ask the question "How can I say this better?" 852,000 times. LOL! Or how ever many sentences this thing turns out to be.
I'll be back to describe my office. Maybe. Seriously, I suck at this.
Oh, I love this blog. Great one, Hal. I feel like I went to writing class--and in a good way. *LOL* My favorite was this: Not a lot of it — no one’s gripping the oh-shit handles in their car, yelling, “Oh my god, there goes the hawk! He’s swooping, he’s swooping! Will he catch anything? Oh the suspense!”
And can you imagine if The Great Gatsby was submitted for a contest? All those judges freaking out that he had the lawn RUNNING and JUMPING and doing all sorts of things they'd mark off because lawns can't do that. (You know, how they mark off when "her eyes blazed" or "her eyes slid to his hands" when we all know very well what they mean...
Love the exercise. Let me think about a minute and I'll post it.
Why is everything BOLD from the comments down? WTF.
Wordpress just pisses me off.
Everything isn't bold on my screen.
But that explains Marnee's question. LOL! I was wondering...
Looks normal for me.
You just thought I was being sassy? Awh, thanks Bo'sun. :)
A forest had vomited on her desk. Folders, paperwork, post-its, and letters spilled and sprawled on every inch of the modern desk that dominated the room like the Star Trek Enterprise docked in the middle of an Old West town, oddly contrasted with the dark wood walls and old fashioned lighting. The room was not unlike its owner: a conflicting hybrid of contemporary and traditional, and all in all, one big mess.
Oh, I see. In Internet Explorer, it looks normal. If you open in Firefox (which I do), it bolded the hell out of everything.
I still blame Wordpress.
The room was not unlike its owner: a conflicting hybrid of contemporary and traditional, and all in all, one big mess.
LOL, Hellie....
Hal, this is awesome! Description is my "needs improvement" area, and I have to work harder with this (whereas dialogue comes to me easily).
I like the tip about things that move catch our eye, so that is a good starting point for description. It's good to remember HOW a person sees things when it's time to describe those things.
Marn -- LOL about the toddler calisthenics. That's hilarious!
Hellion, while I was typing my comment, you came up with an amazing description of your desk. LOL I loved the forest vomiting on your desk.
I'm gonna have to work HARD on this assignment!
*LOL* I should have mentioned the pirate paraphernalia that's on the walls--and the folder with the spinner that you twirl to decide "What Would a Pirate Do?", which includes Drink Grog and Take on Prisoners. Not to mention the disturbing rubber chicken which is hanging from my coatrack, possibly as a symbol to all who enter, a warning: "Be careful, or you're next."
I use Firefox too.
PS. I love the stick figure picture. Too funny. "Nice shoes." HAHAHA!!
Oh hell, I just got the stick figure joke. Maybe I should get some coffee.
Can we say intimidating? Yeah, I'll keep thinking. Just had a battle with a printer and the damn thing nearly one.
Okay - my best effort.
Paint fumes lingered, too much for the burst of vanilla released every thirty six minutes to completely dilute. The walls stood free of the pock marks and holes that once marred their smooth surface, except for the new ones created by two clear stick pins, one holding a three-month-at-a-glance calendar, the other a simple, black & white clock chosen for function over form. The soft gray of the perimeter looked dull in the florescent glow, fully dominated by the charcoal accent wall serving as anchor in the back of the room. Cold, black metal warred with synthetic mahogany to dominate the open spaces, neither adding comfort or warmth. All in all, the office served as a reflection of its occupant – full of promise and ambition but lacking imagination and polish.
*LOL* That was a harsh assessment of yourself, Bo'sun. Geez. I don't think you're lacking imagination or polish.
But well done otherwise. :)
Bo'sun, I agree with Hellion -- great description of your OFFICE, but not of YOU. :)
So great, I'm struggling with MINE. Ack!
Yes, but I *am* a mess. Ask anyone.
I clearly stole the last comparison from yours. LOL! And if you can call yourself a mess then I can say this about me. But it really is true. I always know I want my office or house to look better, I just rarely have any idea how to make it happen.
And I am in serious need of polish. Oh how I need that.
You gals are so sweet, but I've always lacked imagination. I assure you, not one paragraph of my WIP looks like that paragraph right there. LOL!
Being messy and being a mess are two different things. If someone walked in and wanted a specific folder right this minute, I'd bet money you'd know exactly where to find it.
Donna - You can do it!
Okay, here's my try at it:
Dust bunnies raced across the bland carpet, desperate to find a hiding place before the whoosh of the vacuum cleaner ended their carefree existence. Not that any of them had actually seen the carnivorous machine, but legends of its fierce abilities had been passed along through several generations. It paid to stay on guard, since its appearance was always unpredictable, unexpected, and unforgiving. Papers clung to the rickety table. It was only a matter of time before they slid off the unstable mountain, again, just like too many of their former compatriots (God rest their souls). Those poor things had ended up in a twisted heap, corners bent, entire pages crumpled, as if they had always been disposable, despite their noble acts.
Okay, this brings out something I've long wondered about. I can clearly hear Donna's voice in her description there. Which is awesome, btw. And Hellie's voice is always there. Marn adds a twist you never see coming and Hal's stuff wreaks of intensity.
I always think when I write stuff like that office description that it sounds nothing like me. I am sparse, bare. My writing is quick and to the point and moving right along.
So how do I make the writing more powerful if that's not at all my style or voice?
I didn't say I was incompetent. I meant I was mess emotionally. I could find your folder. Usually. Though I've had less and less luck with that lately. *LOL* Too many chefs in the kitchen.
And now that Hal has shown us how to do it, you can put all sorts of those paragraphs in your WIP.
Ter, you say "to the point" and "moving right along" like they're bad things.
Description is something for draft two, I think. I'm doing my mid-MS read through. This is where I start to notice stuff like this. Descriptions of places and people. Making my sentences more concise (a real trouble spot for me). Front loading my sentences. Stuff like that.
For now, moving right along and getting to the point are really really good things.
Bo'sun, I struggle with description, mainly because I like quick, to-the-point, moving-right-along writing myself. :)
I try to keep in mind the description is what the character sees and experiences -- so your character will be choosing the words to describe that, and he/she will also focus on different things (i.e., if the hero is a leg man, he'll check those out first, etc. LOL)
Sometimes I fall into the trap of just "setting the scene", to let the readers know what is going on -- and that's when voice can get lost.
Does that make sense? I hope. A little. :)
I'm with Donna; I prefer moving right along writing myself. Too much description loses me. I have to remind myself to do it. :) To the point my CPs are like, "What does this look like?"
What Marn said. :)
Description is never in my first draft. Which also makes it harder, because I get attached to how things are WITHOUT description. LOL (I'm a dialogue whore, what can I say? LOL)
So I struggle with description twice - in the first draft, and in revisions. :)
Donna, I feel like we should high five here. I'm exactly the same way. I get attached to the "without" description versions too, so that when I add it, I worry over it, wondering if it seems out of place.
*hand slap for Marn*
I'm glad I'm not the only one! I definitely worry about my description sticking out with a neon warning: "Danger! Description Ahead" LOL But I really want to do it well, so I struggle with it.
My brain fills in the description the way it wants -- even when I'm reading other books. I don't like a lot of it when I'm reading, and I'll skim over that sometimes.
If a character "sounds" a certain way to me, based on their dialogue, it doesn't matter how they are described. LOL My brain, contrary creature that it is, will draw its own picture.
I'm not fretting so much about the first draft stuff, I came to terms with not worrying about this element in there. But it feels like getting all prosey (new word?) and lyrical in the revisions would be like adding pearls and a purse to a potbellied pig. It's still a pig. (*I* am not the pig in this scenario. Just a metaphor for the writing. Pigs are cute, but you know, they aren't wearing pearls.)
Donna - That so explains why description doesn't come naturally to me. I am CLUELESS when I meet people. It's like my eyes skim. I'll remember what they said or how they said it, but what was behind them or what they were wearing or any other visual details go right over my head.
In the writing, I do make sure they notice things on each other, that part I can do. It's the surroundings I miss.
The pinkish hue of the stone walls gave no hint to the violence and bloodshed they contained.
Ewwww Hal?! Is that from your WIP? I like it. 'Though I kinda of wish that I hadn't read it , because now I Want to read all of it. Like right now.
Sorry guys!!! So glad you're having fun -- I've been stuck in meetings all morning, but I'm here now and catching up.
Marn - Yay! I'm glad it's helpful. You wrote:
The ornate candle holder watched the room from the fireplace, saved from the chaos by the two glass doors.
I LOVE that! I love how it's almost like the POV camera is in the fireplace and drawing backwards until the doors close him off.
Janga - love the description from your WIP! It paints such a picture in my head.
Ter - This is definitely something that can be left for revision, and I agree, adding too much can definitely end up looking like pearls on pigs (when you said that, I started picturing piglets in frilly dresses, heels, pearls, and big floppy hats like old Southern women. LOL!)
At the same time, I've found that sometimes when I can't figure out where to go next, if I write to write a few paragraphs of description from deep in the character's POV, it can sometimes get me moving again.
Hellie - yeah, I get knocked for "eyes blazed" all the time. You wrote: The room was not unlike its owner: a conflicting hybrid of contemporary and traditional, and all in all, one big mess.
I love that! The description really pops - nice!
"What would a pirate do? Take on prisoners." LMAO!! Can you see doing that on campus?? Hold up a stapler. "I'm having a slow afternoon. I'm taking you prisoner." LMAO!!!
I am so inimidated... Not sure I can do this...
Loved Donna's scared dust bunnies, btw.
So... The war ended and the room reflected the victor. Clutter dominated, piled triumphantly upon every horizontal surface. Papers, books, unopened mail, goggles from a cruise left years ago, hats piled atop the piano,close to tumbling down, abandoned barbells, empty cardboard boxes, once part of the battleplan, all sat still. The stuggle was over. It horrified her to contemplate the numerous small battles, started and slowly surrendered. So, with a glaze to her eyes, she picked her way sure footedly through the mess, picked up the dog leash and left the room. Perhaps...just maybe...it would be gone when she returned.
Ah, life reflects reality...I need to go walk the dog! ;)
Donna - dialog comes much easier to me than description too. My thesis adviser suggested increasing my amount of description/setting by at least 50%. That feels like a lot!
I love your description, with the scared dust bunnies scurrying around! It has great tension too, because you want to know what the dustbunnies are cared of, and you draw out the picture of the vacuum from their perspective. Nice!!!
Ter - Cold, black metal warred with synthetic mahogany to dominate the open spaces,
This is awesome! I love how violent your verbs are--war and dominate--and how that creates such a distinct picture of the room.
Personally, I think that it's really hard to pick out your own voice. Or at least, it is for me. I always have the same reaction, that everyone else has this strong voice and mine is just blah.
Can other people hear their own voice? Or do you find it hard to spot?
Hmmm. I think I know my own voice.
No, you don't!
Yes, I do!
Then again, sometimes I'm not all that sure.
Julie, thanks -- it's the opening line of my WIP.
Chance - LOL!! I think I have the same conversation in my head regularly :)
You wrote: Clutter dominated, piled triumphantly upon every horizontal surface. I love the phrase "piled triumphantly"! It not only creates an image, but it gives you a surprising amount of information about the 'victor'. Nicely done!
Which clearly wasn't me. Isn't me.
But someday! Someday, I will make my triumphant return and beat the clutter back to the shores, into the trashcans and out of my house.
Sadly, that day is not today.
it’s the opening line of my WIP.
Thats what I thought. It gives the reader Lots of insight into where the story is headed from the first sentence. Well done.
Someday I'm going to use Chance's piles as an excuse to venture to the left coast to help her clean. So lets not encourage her before then.
Thanks, Hal! I'm more of the bent that I can hear my voice, it's just nothing special. LOL! And if you look at mine compared to others, it's that damn omniscient POV. I swear, I should have shot for literary fiction. Omniscient seems so natural to me.
Bo'sun, it's hard to break the habit. I still do it, but I relax and enjoy it. Sort of toy with the whole omniscient voice, ala Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...
And yer welcome anytime to fly out here and take up arms in the clutter war.
Bo'sun...we killed the blog.
We won!
Want a rum?
Did anyone notice that basically everyone's favorite "active" verb for their description was DOMINATE? We're a bunch of dominatrixes.
Okay, I'm not cleaning *that* up.
Really?
*considers paraphernalia scattered about the bedroom
OK!
I'll take that rum.
Of course we are. We just don't wear the leather as often as we could.
LOL!!!
It's a triple rum day...maybe even 3x3 day.
Man, hard when the cleaning elf is uppity about what she will and won't pick up! Just needs dusting, really!
Which says something about how often anything is used.
Just for decoration, I say!
Thanks, Hal. I was beginning to feel like chopped liver. :)
I'm loving reading all these. Hal, I especially like the phrase “a bastion of defense and Spanish architectureâ€--great image and rhythm. And Donna’s dust bunnies are wonderful.
On the voices, Hellie’s is unmistakable, and I would have recognized Terri’s. I’m not so sure about Chance’s. The description is great, but I don’t think I would have known it was hers without the name attached.
My problem is too much description. I fall in love with my own word play and get carried away. That’s just one of the reasons I have to do so much pruning in the revision stage.
Here’s my honest effort:
Woody, battered but still cherished, a wounded Ben 10, and Obi-Wan Kenobi in full battle gear guard the ramparts while, oblivious to all threats of violence, the Disney Princesses in all their ball-gowned glory huddle in the corner of a shelf, maintaining a careful distance from the upstarts Sharpay, Carly, and Sam. Bakugan Brawlers and Matchbox cars like misshapen rainbows spill over the sides of their bucket homes, and on a bottom shelf Winnie the Pooh leans cozily against Baby Alive, who eyes a fading Candy Land box atop the wobbly stack of board games. No small ones are present. Peace reigns--temporarily.
I can see those toy shelves come alive after dark...
Janga, what I loved about your small town description is that its reflective of its people in only a few sentences. You're describing buildings, but it's so clear what the people are like. The busybodies, the town that hadn't had anything thrilling since 1952...you can just sense how interesting the people are going to be. *LOL*
Donna's just cracks me up. The whole mythology of dust bunnies...
And the dust bunny gathered himself up, the sole survivor of the great sucking day...gallantly he climbed the shelves to offer his hand to the delicate Cinderella doll, "Dance with me?"
I do love that there have been "generations" of dust bunnies. LOL!
Janga - That sounds like a preschool play room! I bet the toys are enjoying the peace and quiet as much as you are. That and Chance's comment reminds me, anyone else excited about Toy Story 3?
I adore all those silly movies... Shrek's newest, too.
Okay, I wanna play! Here goes...
The computer screen sits on its throne high above surveying the devastation left in their wake. The flotsam of their lives lay strewn among the wreckage, each piece waiting patiently for its next chance to serve. Crayons, markers, pens, and pencils discarded and separated from their home and constant companions litter every surface. Notebooks, flash drives and graph paper mourn the loss of their usefulness merely hours earlier. Important papers neglected and stacked haphazardly among sticky notes containing everything from phone numbers to passwords to algebraic equations scream out their importance. Last night’s midnight snack shrivels up in its package, carelessly left opened, knowing its fate has already been sealed. While just beyond the screen outside the window the chaos is eased. The tree in the front yard teeters back and forth in the wind like a child waving to her mate to come out and play - come out with me, it whispers, to feel the sun on your face and feel the wind in your hair; come sit on the porch swing and enjoy the freshly planted begonias smiling up at the sun from the flower pots lazing on the porch railing. Escape the chaos and come experience the rebirth of spring.
My biggest hurdle is grammar and punctuation. So excuse any errors!
Janga I love your last statement - Peace reigns - temporarily! I feel the *sigh* in that statement!!!!
I wish I had a tree to beckon me outside... Mine all snicker and tempt, knowing they rise from a tangle of poison oak...
I am dying to see Despicable Me. The new trailer is even better than the first ones they put out.
Thanks Janga! Your toy shelf is awesome. I love the suspense of the --for now. Very ominous in the midst of adorable toys. Love it!
Irish - This is my favorite part.
Last night’s midnight snack shrivels up in its package, carelessly left opened, knowing its fate has already been sealed.
The fact that it was NOT sealed, sealed its fate. That is such a fun play on words. Well done!
Yeah, I second Bo'sun, cool play on words there, Irish!
What descriptive wenches you are! I had to run out to get some food, but I'm going to read these again, so I can savor them!
And as for the dust bunnies. . .I think they've become shapeshifters. I just swiffed under the bed, but I swear it looks like they're dust tigers now. Sigh.
Irish, what a great description! This is my favorite: the freshly planted begonias smiling up at the sun from the flower pots lazing on the porch railing.
I can totally see "lazing flower pots" - what a great phrase!
I read everyone's snippets and marveled at the genius knowing I was incapable. Then I sat at the computer and started. Like Donna, Hal and Terri, description is not my strong suit. I LOVE dialogue and I LOVE to info dump.
I started typing and had a whole paragraph down before I went back and changed it up because different verbs were jumping into my head. The words are what scare me - I'm always, ALWAYS afraid they won't come. So, the whole process was a light bulb moment for me. I guess I have to go by a new mantra - type it and they will come!
Awesome blog, Hal. Thanks!
I just realized this was easier for me because I could look around and see then transcribe it to the page. Harder the room only exists in my mind.
You guys use any tricks for actual book settings? YouTube, magazines, Google images?
Describe some aspect of the room you’re sitting in? Okay ...I'm usually in the living room. Don't have any idea if I did this right. But it was entertaining. Okay, the TRUTH IS I'll do Anything to avoid actually having to Clean The living Room.
The spaniel jumped off the couch with a “thlump‘. Displeased to be displaced from her comfy spot. The couch that she had been snoozing on had been chosen because it was very comfortable. Thick cushions encased in cream colored, Italian leather that was buttery soft. And when the morning light flowed in through the slates of the mini blinds? Oh! The leather became warm to the touch. And fragrant. A beautiful intoxicating scent that reminded her of her new rawhide bone. The dog eyed the big leather chair. Then she walked over to the matching loveseat. Their creamy leather --- called out to her. But she didn’t want to get yelled at for sitting on the good furniture. She had her pride. She was after all An English Springer Spaniel. So she sulked over to the elegant rug that had been placed under one of the Queen Anne end tables. This was “her table”. There were four all together. Oak. Two decades of polishing and waxing gave them a soft patina. A contrast to the bright brass of the Stiffle lamps that stood arrogantly upon the table tops. There were books of course. The serious ones had been pushed neatly to the side. Others , those with HEAs, stood ready to reveal their secrets. The dog eyed the couch again. If she couldn’t have the couch then maybe she could have a cushion? Would anyone notice that One of the merry little Paisley throw cushions that lazily lounged on the furniture was missing? Probably. Their fabric had been carefully chosen. The golden bronze in the cloth matched the lamps. The deep red echoed the room’s burgundy walls. And the green? The exact tint of the green that was in the painting above the couch. A whimsical Henry Peeters’ landscape. A depiction of an overgrown garden with a path winding through it. A path that the dog’s mistress laughingly calls Her Path.
In writer talk … its called “the road less taken”. LOL
Irish, I know what you mean about thinking the words won't be there -- that's why I liked doing this paragraph, as well as the snippet yesterday for the Avon blog. It made me just sit and git 'er done, and I really enjoyed it. *whispers* Of course that's mean I'm AVOIDING my WIP.
Ahem.
Bo'sun, most of the time I'm describing things that are just in my head. The one time I used an actual location -- a shooting range -- I'm not sure if it came out any better for the fact that I had actually been there learning to shoot a gun. Maybe it did. I can't tell for sure though!
Ter, I often use pictures I find online. The house in the blog, the pic, is what I used for the house I described. And I like looking through headshots on photographer's websites for character faces
Julie - I love seeing the room from the Cocker Spaniel's pov. How much fun! Nicely done!
Hal - You have some links for photographers you like to use? I could google, but no telling what I'd find.
I love the dog's POV. That is some great description, Julie. Her personality as well as the setting.
here's some that I find helpful!
http://www.stunningheadshots.com/
http://www.davidbeyda.com/digitalheadshotgallery1.htm
http://www.pbase.com/eminilia/1
http://www.mackephotography.com/headshots/women/index.html
Or in my case ... Clue-less. I never win!
Hal, that was an interesting exercise. Relaxed the mind and focused it at the same time.
For me at least.
Thanks Terri.
For those of you who are FB friends , go to my page. You'll see the dog in the red room with my DD. Sounds like I'm playing the game Clue!
Brava, Irish! I agree with Hal. The "flower pots lazing on the porch railing" is superlative.
And, Julie, I love the Springer's pov. The Henry Peeter landscape ref that has you metaphorically walking into it is my favorite.
Terri, I've mentioned my slide shows before. A couple of sources I use for houses are:
http://www.luxuryportfolio.com/
http://www.historicproperties.com/search.asp
I use the "Print Screen" key and borrow details from various houses.
Thanks for all the links. I'm not a details person so these are going to come in so handy.
It's a criticism frequently levelled at my current WIP - more description required! - so it resonated when you wrote that sometimes your writing feels a bit stark. I've decided to try and hone my description writing skills and this feels like a good place to start - great tag-line - to act it up - easy to remember and apply. Completely agree that active description is more effective than static, and delighted you presented an example from one of my favourite books - writing to aspire to, certainly! Thanks for the tips and succinct observations.
Welcome aboard the Revenge, James! I adore Gatsby as well -- definitely writing to study! I'm so glad the tips and examples were helpful.
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