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Sunday, March 28, 2010
I Have a Dream
So Thursday, I’m propped on my couch, eating my Triple Chocolate ice cream cone, researching for my current novel by watching the latest episode of the Marriage Ref. How else am I to know how married people behave if I don’t observe them? The first couple out of the gate is a good one. The wife is the one with the beef (as about 80% of these fights are); and it seems her husband embarrasses her (as about 80% of these husbands do.) Well, it’s more than that. He’s 38 and still pursuing his dream (on the side) of becoming a (white) rapper. He’s not exactly good—he’s still waiting for his big break—and while he’s waiting for his big break, he’s making videos and having fun and working at becoming the next big rhymester. Whatever. He wasn’t exactly godawful, but even an Amish country-music listener could sense he had a bigger chance of becoming the next Madonna than the next Eminem.
Anyway, not the point. The point is that the wife ticked me off. She gets into an argument with him, wanting him to give up this stupid dream of becoming a rapper. “Why are you doing this?” she shrieked. “Because I want to be a rapper,” he says back, just as passionately. “But you’re not a success! You’ll never be a rapper! Why can’t you get over it?” blah-blah-blah.
All I could think was, “Wow, this guy is actually pretty decent because he didn’t tell her off in no uncertain terms for just telling about 4 million strangers that she thought her husband was delusional and was never going to be a success.” Then I thought, “What is her problem anyway? Is this really hurting anyone? Has he given up his day job to pursue this career as a rapper or started using her in his lyrics—that bitch my wife stabbed me with a knife—or gathered some groupie girlfriends he’s sleeping with on the side?” It didn’t appear that any of this was the case. And all I felt was sad that this wife could not feel supportive of this hobby, this passion, which I still don’t think is as weird as being supportive of a passion like cross-dressing or taxidermy.
Alec Baldwin’s first quip summed up my thoughts perfectly: “It’s not like he’s a limbless guy who wants to be an Olympic skier.” And it wasn’t. Sure, the likelihood of him being the next Eminem is incredibly slim, but if it makes him happy, why are you pissing in his Cheerios? What’s wrong with letting him be happy? Deluded people are some of the happiest people on this planet. Let him the hell alone.
I realize I’m very much in a field where I’m like a 38 year old white guy trying to be the next big hip-hop singer. Opportunities are pretty thin to the ground, my friend; however, I also know there is no harm in doing the things you love even if the success you gain is not measurable by other people’s sticks, and more importantly, quitting is the most surefire way of ensuring you never get one of those thin opportunities. Stranger things have happened. You can’t win if you don’t play; and so long as you’re still enjoying it, why not?
We all know this though. We all write because we love writing and playing with words and characters and plot. But how do you keep well-meaning loved ones from, well, pissing in your Cheerios? When you get to a certain age, you can leave home and not live with your parents who beg you to pursue a real career like teaching. You simply don’t mention your writing—though to give my father credit, he doesn’t ask me to get a real career anymore, and so long as I have my day job, he seems relatively supportive of me spending my spare time in writing. But what do you do if you’re living with someone who doesn’t support your dreams, your passions? I get that as humans we’re not going to agree about, well, almost anything, but words damage. That “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is a bit of a lie. Maybe they do need my consent, but words matter. As a writer, you know this. You can’t let the inflictors off scot-free. They’re still assholes. And they’re even bigger ones if they’re supposed to be people who are on your side to begin with.
How are you supposed to deal with a well-meaning troll?
Do you have any well-meaning trolls in your life? How do you deal with them? Have you ever been a troll yourself? I’ve said plenty of trollish things, usually things I regret later, because who was it hurting really? Do you watch The Marriage Ref?
Anyway, not the point. The point is that the wife ticked me off. She gets into an argument with him, wanting him to give up this stupid dream of becoming a rapper. “Why are you doing this?” she shrieked. “Because I want to be a rapper,” he says back, just as passionately. “But you’re not a success! You’ll never be a rapper! Why can’t you get over it?” blah-blah-blah.
All I could think was, “Wow, this guy is actually pretty decent because he didn’t tell her off in no uncertain terms for just telling about 4 million strangers that she thought her husband was delusional and was never going to be a success.” Then I thought, “What is her problem anyway? Is this really hurting anyone? Has he given up his day job to pursue this career as a rapper or started using her in his lyrics—that bitch my wife stabbed me with a knife—or gathered some groupie girlfriends he’s sleeping with on the side?” It didn’t appear that any of this was the case. And all I felt was sad that this wife could not feel supportive of this hobby, this passion, which I still don’t think is as weird as being supportive of a passion like cross-dressing or taxidermy.
Alec Baldwin’s first quip summed up my thoughts perfectly: “It’s not like he’s a limbless guy who wants to be an Olympic skier.” And it wasn’t. Sure, the likelihood of him being the next Eminem is incredibly slim, but if it makes him happy, why are you pissing in his Cheerios? What’s wrong with letting him be happy? Deluded people are some of the happiest people on this planet. Let him the hell alone.
I realize I’m very much in a field where I’m like a 38 year old white guy trying to be the next big hip-hop singer. Opportunities are pretty thin to the ground, my friend; however, I also know there is no harm in doing the things you love even if the success you gain is not measurable by other people’s sticks, and more importantly, quitting is the most surefire way of ensuring you never get one of those thin opportunities. Stranger things have happened. You can’t win if you don’t play; and so long as you’re still enjoying it, why not?
We all know this though. We all write because we love writing and playing with words and characters and plot. But how do you keep well-meaning loved ones from, well, pissing in your Cheerios? When you get to a certain age, you can leave home and not live with your parents who beg you to pursue a real career like teaching. You simply don’t mention your writing—though to give my father credit, he doesn’t ask me to get a real career anymore, and so long as I have my day job, he seems relatively supportive of me spending my spare time in writing. But what do you do if you’re living with someone who doesn’t support your dreams, your passions? I get that as humans we’re not going to agree about, well, almost anything, but words damage. That “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” is a bit of a lie. Maybe they do need my consent, but words matter. As a writer, you know this. You can’t let the inflictors off scot-free. They’re still assholes. And they’re even bigger ones if they’re supposed to be people who are on your side to begin with.
How are you supposed to deal with a well-meaning troll?
Do you have any well-meaning trolls in your life? How do you deal with them? Have you ever been a troll yourself? I’ve said plenty of trollish things, usually things I regret later, because who was it hurting really? Do you watch The Marriage Ref?
Labels:
Captain's Quarters (Hellion),
dreams,
The Marriage Ref,
trolls
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87 comments:
Nada, no marriage ref fer me. I think I work enough on my own marriage difficulties and since from what I hear, the show is mostly a chance to observe the absurdity of other people's marriages...
Uh...I got lost in there somewhere!
Do I have a troll? Well, I had one that luckily drifted away from me at a very auspicious time in my wrier growth. I realize this now. Then, I just felt abandoned.
I fight the troll thing in myself. I don't go there. If anything, I go the other way! Encourage beyond rational thought!
Now my Mom can be a bit of a troll.
I realize she is just worried about me being hurt. A very Mom-like thing to be and so I let her comments about... "But what if you don't ever get published?" sorta slide off my back.
Because...wait for it...the joy is in the journey.
Yes, I can't stop words that hurt me. Being made to feel inferior without consent is part of life. All I can do is keep my eyes on the joy parts.
Marriage seems to be out of fashion over here, Partnerships are all the rage. It means that the partner can't grab half the assets when she/he leaves after a row!
Helli, if your view of marriage is gleened from 'marriage ref' then perhaps romantic fantasy is your natural hunting ground. Adam and Eve didn't need a ring after all!
Everyone deserves their dream, the trick is to avoid it turning into a nightmare.
I'm trying to remember that famous speech of Martin Luther King. It took a while but it came true I think ... with President Obama.
So dream on Helli. The runes look favourable!
My parents unfortunately were all about "having something to fall back on." They were not big dreamers and did not approve of flights of fancy. Consequently when I locked myself in the bathroom and "pretended" (a precursor to writing make-up stuff)they were annoyed. Or maybe they just wanted to go to the bathroom. :)It took me a long while to let myself get loose of restrictions and dampened expectations, and I'm not sure I'm there yet.
But my family has been enormously supportive. My kids are getting a kick out of reading my book aloud to their friends.I'm just glad I'm not there when they do it. :)
It always makes me shake my head when I hear the naysayers explain their reasons for dashing someone's dreams: "I just don't want to see you get hurt".
Really? Telling someone they'll NEVER make their dream come true -- ya don't think THAT hurts? LOL So how pure ARE the motives for saying this?
I feel the underlying cause stems from the "dasher" not going after their dreams, or being worried they'll get left behind if someone follows their dream.
And I suspect on the show you watched, the wife was originally intrigued by this side of her husband, but life has beaten her down or disillusioned her or something -- so she has to make everyone else feel the same way. So sad.
2nd, marriage is absurd--mainly because it has two absurd people in it. As a reality show, I don't think it's any more absurd to watch than talentless people or the karaoke thing. But I'm all for not watching TV and doing more productive things with your time. More power to you.
Parents can be the worst. And it's hard to let it slide off your back when you've grown up thinking they knew everything. I mean, eventually you realize this isn't true, but it's hard to let go of the old beliefs. They mean well, but seriously....
I see "supportive" parents on TV, but I always think these people are fictional. Occasionally one of my well-adjusted friends will introduce me to a parent like this--but it's like seeing a live dodo bird in the zoo. You really just can't believe it.
I think it's just how parents are. They want the best for you, but they want it for a job that is likely to be supportive...make money and pay the bills...and clearly you can't do that with writing. *LOL*
Quantam, my love, my view of marriage is gleaned from my sister and her husband...and her ex-husband. Hence why I'm not married. My brother didn't make a good deal of it either. My dad--the only one in the family to have a successful marriage--said, "Look for someone at church." Which doesn't work because I don't want to go to church or find someone quite that pious.
I think I'm going to be one who goes in for a partnership.
I love that advice though. The trick is to keep it from turning into a nightmare. *LOL* Thank you, Q!
Maggie, I think we had similar parents. I was always playing pretend; and they did not approve of imagination. It wasn't quite as bad as living with the Dursleys, but occasionally it had its moments of Dursleyish behavior. (And no, it's not too early on a Monday to reference Harry Potter.)
I'm glad you broke free to dampen expectations!! :) And I'm glad your family is very supportive of what you've accomplished so far and are reading your books aloud! That's awesome!! :)
Donna, that's another thing that Alec Baldwin said. *LOL* He said, "It's not like he woke up one day and said, 'I want to be a rapper.' She knew about this from the beginning." Meaning, too late to be bitching about it now. (And definitely stop trying to change people into who you want them to be.)
Trying to figure out WHY the other person is saying that is the way to go, but I'm generally too caught up in my emotions of hurt and doubt to care about WHY they really said this. *LOL* Later, much later, I might think about it. Put it in perspective.
People are funny in how they think if you become too happy, you won't need them anymore, so it's better to keep you repressed and sad. *LOL*
Hellion, I just remembered this old Peanuts cartoon that illustrates this. Linus is sitting there, content, with his security blanket. His sister Lucy can't stand him being happy, so she takes the blankie and gives him a rubber band.
The next few scenes are of Linus going to town with that rubber band, having the greatest time. Which drives Lucy even CRAZIER, because he's having fun with THAT, so she takes it away and gives him back his blanket. LOL
This is great. I don't think I could watch Marriage Ref either. I'm sure I'd end up railing at the tv. Sort of why I don't watch most reality tv. :)
As for well-meaning trolls, I'm pretty much without them. I'm lucky to have a super supportive family and an even more supportive husband. He's got a lot of faith in me and he lets me write when I'm on a roll. I just have to make sure that I don't neglect everyone else around me to write. It's hard to strike a balance sometimes.
So glad you dropped that hint. I had no idea who the Dursleys were.
My parents never poopoo'd any of our dreams, but I don't remember my siblings ever really having dreams. And if they did/do, I've never seen them go after them. Little Bro (21) is on the cusp of making some decisions. No idea where he'll go.
My ex is a musician and was trying to make it as a country singer when we met. Being the music biz was my field, I knew he wasn't going to make it. But he was good enough to play local honkytonks. So why tell him to stop?
When he started sleeping with members of the audience, it became a problem, but that wasn't because he was playing music. That was because he was an asshole and would have slept around either way. Grant it, being on stage likely had more to do with finding willing women.
I haven't watched the Marriage Ref. Tried watching one and it was so far out there, it was silly. It was the wife with the iguana one. But you told me about this one and I have to agree, if he's not refusing to hold a day job, burning through their life savings, or harming anyone, I don't see the problem.
Donna, *LOL* I love the cartoon. Good one!! That would make me crazy...here I am trying to ruin your good time and you insist on having a good time without my authority!!!
I think Linus was smart enough to realize that Lucy would give back his blanket if he was showing too good a time with the rubber band. Smart kid, that Linus.
Marn, they don't have "real" fights on the Marriage Ref. This was the closest--and it's been about the only time so far I really wanted to go, "She's a biotch!"
The rest of them are so funny ridiculous, it's very much the dorky crap of living together that's being exposed for network TV. No one is fighting about "he's watching too much ESPN" or "he goes to strip clubs" or "she spends too much money." Nothing is about money.
Just crazy crap, like "I stuffed the dog and want to put in the grotto I built especially for it in our foyer." Or "I love our pet iguana more than you; you can fix your own dinner."
I watch it for the commentary. The commentary is what makes this show. Ricky Gervais going, "This is the WEIRDEST show I've EVER been on!" And Ricky is odd, so it's saying something if Ricky thinks it's weird. Oooh, I hope they have Russell Brand on sometime. *LOL* Can you imagine the comments he'd make?
Donna - I love what you said about the "dasher." I think also part of this is that the wife is probably embarrassed by having a grown husband who wants to rap.
But I agree with Hellie too. As my husband says, there are things that get grandfather'd in. My DH is a rabid sports watcher. Not in the paint-my-face-and-get-ridiculously-drunk way. He watches for strategy. He finds it interesting in the way of chess or other strategy games. Mostly it's just football and hockey. I try to take an interest as much as I can. I know lots about both sports now. And the fact that I take an interest endears me to him.
When he asks me how my writing's going and I can see him fighting to listen through how my Regency mistress is struggling to find her independence, I take pity on him. Same as he takes pity on me when I ask about how the Flyer's goalie situation is going. I care, but I can't follow that close. So he gives me the equivalent of the two hour Smithsonian tour, not the whole day one.
LOL! It sounds crazy. Maybe it's one of those, wow, I must be normal if these whack jobs live among us. LOL!!
Marn - That's the trait of a good marriage/relationship IMO. Just make the effort. It's not that hard. I've watched/attended things I'd never want to see on my own. But I've done it for another person. And so often in my experience, it's not returned.
Hence - singlehood. It's just better than the alternative. LOL!
I had the kind of parents who would have said go for it and lined up to cheer if I'd said I wanted to fly, but they would have asked for time to buy hundreds of trampolines so I'd bounce instead of break if I fell.
I guess the closest to trolls I have are two camps of friends who don't doubt that I can write a novel but are horrified by the kind I'm choosing to write. Some academic friends question my sanity for writing romance, and some church friends fear I'm flirting with the devil by writing stories that they are pretty sure include s-e-x. :)
Bo'sun, I actually put the Dursley reference in for Sin. You've seen the movies--I would have thought you'd remember the name. What am I saying?
You totally would be great on this show, Bo'sun. Well, not using the "my husband is cheating on me" complaint because that's a slam dunk and not touched on this show. This is piddly stuff. Like "What is the appropriate way to put the lid on pans? And should one put the lid back on the pan to keep the food from drying out?"
Things that need a Winner, but aren't really worth the divorce.
I love the woman who had the dining room table but never let the husband eat at it or look at it, because it was only for special occasions. *ROTFL* Eva Longoria was on the show and was totally on the wife's side--"I have a table like this. It's only for special occasions."
It's a study in absurd human behavior.
When he asks me how my writing’s going and I can see him fighting to listen through how my Regency mistress is struggling to find her independence, I take pity on him. Same as he takes pity on me when I ask about how the Flyer’s goalie situation is going. I care, but I can’t follow that close. So he gives me the equivalent of the two hour Smithsonian tour, not the whole day one.
Exactly. *LOL* I know this exactly. *LOL*
And I love how things are grandfathered in. Too true. There are just some things that you can't change. Like my rabid obsession with Harry Potter.
LOL! It sounds crazy. Maybe it’s one of those, wow, I must be normal if these whack jobs live among us. LOL!!
You should have seen the Florida couple! OMG! You totally see why the chad situation happened in 2000. They were so weird! And he was like french kissing the cat at the end...WEIRD!
Bo'sun--exactly MAKE THE EFFORT. Hell, you might enjoy it more than you thought.
*pause*
That might go awry.
Janga, aww, you had the Fictional Parents. I'm so jealous!! That is very sweet though...good people.
Those are definitely trolls! *LOL* Elitists and Fundamentalists...run, Janga, run! Neither camp has read a romance novel, I surmise?
omg - I have that dining room table too! I get so upset whenever Rob comes home and dumps all his stuff on it.
I do like that show. I think it's funny, but only because it's silly little fights that don't matter in the long run (except being a dream-killer. That's just harsh). We got into a fight recently, about how clean is too clean. When I put everything away, Rob apparently gets annoyed because he has to get his ass out of his recliner to go get it, rather than having everything without reaching distance. He wants me to "tone down" my cleaning routine, so there's still just enough clutter to be comfortable. I want him to suck it. I would totally win if we were on that show, too!
My hubby is super supportive of my writing. I can lock myself in a room and write as long as I want. In return, I try to listen to the Redskin's draft strategy. It's absurd how much I know about this year's NFL draft. At the same time, he knows my plot, so it's fair *g*
Janga - those sound like awesome parents. That's the kind of mom I want to be someday. My MIL is like that and I just adore that about her.
Elitists and Fundamentalists…run, Janga, run! Neither camp has read a romance novel, I surmise?
I have this problem too. The crazy fundamentalists who believe I'm going straight to hell, and the academics who gasp in horror that I'm writing romance. *shrug* What can you do?
That dining room table for special occasions reminds me of those people who have a "formal" living room that no one is allowed to enter. We had neighbors like that growing up. It was basically a holding room for the fancy furniture. No television. No one ever went in it. What is the point of that?
the point is that your house looks clean if company comes to the door. I'm such a dweeb. I totally want one. Rob agrees that it's a pointless waste of space.
And we eat at our dining room table. It's not like you can't touch it, I just want it to stay cleaned off for dinner, rather than being piled with everyone's crap, you know?
I remember some neighbors who kept plastic covers on their "formal" living room furniture. I assume they came off when the REAL guests came over. LOL
And I used to worry -- WAY too much -- about what certain folks would think of the stuff I wrote -- everyone from family to co-workers to whatever. I've gotten over that finally, but it took a while, as if their opinions weren't just opinions, but facts.
But what I want to know is how do *I* get that kid of power? LOL How do I make people worry about MY opinion in that same way? I wouldn't do that to anyone, but still. You know what I mean?
Hal, you can totally tell your story! http://www.nbc.com/the-marriage-ref/ If you're on, I will totally watch--and they give out free cruises!! How can you not love that?
Man, I wish I didn't care what people thought of my writing.
I can see keeping the kitchen table clean so you can eat off it. Besides you don't want crap dumped on the table, like bags, doesn't anyone watch Nightline? That's not hygienic.
But I don't get the wasted space. WHY would I have a dining table I never used except for special occasions? No one would come to my house for dinner. They know I don't cook that well. We'd go out! I'd rather use that space for something I'd use, like another bedroom or a den for my Harry Potter collection.
Hal - I'm with you keeping the table cleaned off. Something I've often been unable to do. But in fairness, we never eat there either. We only ate at the table (and this was a measly kitchen table) on the big holidays. Every other meal was in your lap in front the boob tube.
But a whole room that's never used? Are you insane? LOL! How often do you get unexpected visitors and how would you keep them from seeing the rest of the house anyway? Would they not be allowed to use the bathroom???
How could I be the only one who could give a shit what people think about me writing? I know I'm laid back, but really?
Then again, I don't have judgmental parents, don't work anywhere near elitists, and don't go to church.
Nevermind, I understand now. LOL!
Elitists and Fundamentalists…run, Janga, run! Neither camp has read a romance novel, I surmise?
Hellie. camp one has never read a romance; camp two probably read a few back in the days of heaving bosoms and at least one rape per book. The problem is that these people are more than labels. They are friends I love, who have proved they care about me in countless ways. They have their prejudices, but so do I.
Hal, my solution is that if I publish, it will be as Janga--an identity unknown to my well-meaning but benighted friends in both camps.
You've got the parent gig if the writing didn't work out. THIS is all I've got though. If I fail at this, I've amounted to nothing. I think that's my problem.
Oh, and the other things you listed.
Janga - You mean you wouldn't even tell them? Really? Is it that bad?
Yes, because the parent gig is extremely lucrative. *droll look*
Failure is failure, my dear. And investing this kind of time and money into something at which I never manage to succeed will suck donkey balls, I assure you. LOL!
I'm in Janga's camp. I wouldn't tell my relatives if I published either. *LOL* I wouldn't want to hear the critiques.
I watched the Marriage Ref with the wife and the dining room table. She also yelled at her husband cause he couldn't assemble an awning or something like that. It was like - you're a guy and should be able to do this, that's why I married you! I was like Whoa!!! I guess he knows the score now.
I think the show is sort of funny in a voyeuristic kind of way. But, again as with all reality and talk shows, I wonder why on earth these people feel the need to show the entire world how totally screwed up/shallow/bitchy they are!?
I grew up in a small bungalow with 9 people sharing 1 bathroom. I used to dream of a house (like our neighbor's) with plastic covered furniture. I wanted everything spotless and a place for everything and everything in its place. Two things happened - I met the DH and I got a little therapy. Realized that I didn't really want plastic covered furniture but a little order in my life.
I totally get where the Rapper's wife is coming from. When I first started dating the DH I had a real problem with some of the stuff he did, the way he dressed, etc. But, I also eventually realized that that said more about me than him. I think I was afraid people would look at him and think there was something lacking in me for choosing to be with him. That, IMHO, is adolescent thinking. If you love someone you support them. Period. (Unless of course they are doing something immoral, unsafe, or criminal, of course!)
The DH and I are kind of like Marnee and her DH. He has interests totally different than mine - sports, video games, poker, camping. But I join in when I can and show an interest. He does the same for me. It's called A RELATIONSHIP!
When I was watching The Marriage Ref with the dining room table lady I started screaming for my DH and 2 kids to come into the room. I pointed and said see I want a table like that. They all looked at me and my son said but Mom she's totally whacked! as my daughter and DH were nodding their heads in agreement! Then they sat down and completely ripped the couple to shreds! I think it is going to be a while before I get my clean dining room table. LOL
What's a dining room table?
Company?
Wow, everyone is talking a foreign language today...
;)
I think me Mum believes in me, but she doesn't want me to be disappointed. And I think, because I know that, I don't look at her as really lack of support, just a difference sort of support. She doesn't cheerlead. She does encourage me to head over to Starbucks when I visit so I can internet and write in my normal habitat without bitching. She listens to me talk about the strange situations I'm coming up with in my books and smiles.
It's enough for me.
It is voyeuristic. I'd sadly an addict for good gossip; and this has the hallmarks of good gossip. Or even mediocre gossip.
A little order is necessary. I think it's hard to thrive in chaos, if you don't have a quiet, safe place to go to.
And yes, so long as it's not immoral, unsafe or criminal--though some of that is subjective. What if he's a deerhunter and you think hunting is immoral and unsafe? (I don't; it CAN be, but on the whole I don't think it is.)
I love how we're not supposed to think like an adolescent anymore...and we believe life is not like high school...and yet we do and yet it is! *LOL*
I love how we’re not supposed to think like an adolescent anymore…and we believe life is not like high school…and yet we do and yet it is! *LOL*
ROLF! How true!
*ROTFLMAO* I love how you said you wanted the table and they got sucked into the show.
I agree: the woman was whacked. *LOL* And the whole, "You should be able to assemble this because you're a man" cracked me up. I am totally guilty of this. But about the oil in the car and snakes. If you can't figure out where the oil goes in a car--and OFFER to call AAA to help me, we're not dating any more. You are useless to me. And if you're scared of snakes and we're shoving each other off the table to deal with the snake in the house, you are also being divorced in the quickest time possible.
You know, I suppose I'm guilty of thinking the same thing - you're a guy you should take care of this (and he does, thankfully!). But to SAY IT ON NATIONAL TV. I would hope I had more brains than that. I'm surprised she doesn't have every woman's libber on the planet knocking on her door. LOL
2nd, it's good that you can take the good she offers and ignore the negative stuff. As I say when Dad does something like it. "He means well."
And yes, so long as it’s not immoral, unsafe or criminal–though some of that is subjective. What if he’s a deerhunter and you think hunting is immoral and unsafe? (I don’t; it CAN be, but on the whole I don’t think it is.)
Yeah, this can be tricky too! Although, my DH has ridden a motorcycle across country, bungee jumped out of a hot air balloon and skydived. The thing that will probably kill him - fast food - I wasn't even looking at. LOL
I'm all for women's lib, but there are things that men are supposed to do; otherwise, what purpose do they possibly serve?
Mind you, I don't care if he's scared of spiders. I can deal with spiders for him...but he's got to deal with the snakes.
Basically I want someone who can deal with the crap I don't know how to and have no desire to learn. And no, I don't want you to call AAA. I could have called AAA.
He always jokes that the guys at Midas are going to be my best buds if he ever kicks off! He's wondering if he should just put them on the life insurance policy as beneficiaries!
*LOL* Exactly. It's the Fast Food that's the worst of the things listed. The other stuff would be a freak accident--ill advised but an accident--but the food! Eek!!
I'm hungry. Any one up for McD's?
But that's like saying I'm a woman so I should be able to cook. Yeah, good luck with that one. Though my ex was imcompetent at nearly everything and it drove me crazy. LOL! But I knew why (way over protective parents who spoiled him) so I just did the crap he couldn't do.
And now I'm picturing Hellie and some dude shoving each other and screaming about a tiny garden snake under the couch.
YOU GET IT!
NO, YOU GET IT!
I'M NOT GETTING IT!
YOU GET IT OR YOU'LL NEVER AGAIN GET SOMETHING ELSE!!!
OMG! You totally re-enacted me and the apartment manager when the snake was in my house.
Okay, that's not what happened; and me and the apartment manager do NOT have that sort of relationship. And we certainly won't after finding out what a wuss he is about snakes. (I'm allowed to be a wuss, but HE is not.)
And stop calling it a tiny garden snake. It was a KILLER! A python! A beast--YOU WERE NOT HERE! Stop judging!
See, my DH finds rats intimidating. While I'm not a fan of spiders in the house...well, ones like black widows, otherwise??? Let 'em live...
But ants in the house will freak me out. Too many old science fiction movies growing up where ants run amock. Little and super sized.
Luckily, he has the testerone to handle the ants. And rats don't bother me...not in the house...but on the hillside...eh! Live and let live!
I only used the term "tiny garden snake" because I didn't want to re-enact that horrifying experience you already had. :)
I need lunch but it's POURING here and I don't want to go out. If you're going to McD's, bring me a fish sandwich, would you? (Ironic to go to McD's for fish when I'm on a BOAT? Nah.)
Well, it's hard to catch 'em preshaped into those those cubes and already breaded, fried and slapped between two buns... I don't care what boat yer on!
Why would anyone go to McD's for FISH? You go to LJS or Captain D's...
I'm not a fan of rats either. It's probably a throw back to the whole black plague I'm sure I died of in a previous life...and the snake-like naked nasty tails they have. Ick.
Mice, no problem. Gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs, whatever...just no rats. Ick.
I had McD's this weekend with all the kids. I could go for a sit down lunch (maybe soup and salad) with a nice glass of wine. Or maybe some Chinese food.
I don't like LJS or Captain D's fish.
*runs away*
I'm laughing about the stuff people expose about themselves (and their supposed loved ones) on TV. I try so hard not to reveal anything private -- so it boggles my mind that people do it WILLINGLY! LOL
Just to be on TV? That's not even such a big deal anymore. Heck, if you need national exposure, film your rant for YouTube. LOL
Hey hey hey. All this talk about snakes and rats and spiders. . .it's interfering with my fantasies of a filet 'o fish sandwich! LOL
I had a divine lunch at Tony Albas...one slice of pizze, and an Italian salad that is the real reason to go there.
Making my mouth water. I should get dressed and head out for Starbucks... Get my day started!
I try so hard not to reveal anything private — so it boggles my mind that people do it WILLINGLY! LOL
Exactly!!
Terrio, I see. This is why we couldn't find battered fish when I visited you. You refused to take me to the places that actually served it. I understand now.
Irish, I wouldn't say no to Chinese or wine.
Donna, yeah, exposing private details for public consumption seems insane to me. (Setting aside my writing and what it exposes.)
The reality is I'm probably going to have a PBJ sandwich! The kids are on Spring Break and I'm dog sitting a puppy.
Get a load of this... My 2 sister, mother and 2 nieces went to Italy to visit my nephew last Sunday. They are supposed to be home today. My sister calls yesterday - seems British Airways is on strike and they are stuck in London until Wednesday!
Hellion, writing is different. You are illuminating, not exposing. :)
Say it with me. Illuminating. Not exposing. :)
WHAT. A. SHAME. Stuck in LONDON for 3 days. Goodness me, how will she amuse herself?
Tummy is growling. I'm going to have to wade into the precipitation. *sigh*
I want to be stuck in London!
I think Illuminating should be on the drink menu. And it should glow.
I can't even think of a LJS or Captain D's in Chesapeake. Oh, wait, there was one right next to that Shoney's. LMAO! Why didn't you tell me to go there?????
For lunch I had a sandwich--roasted chicken and tomato on light wheat with a smidgen of light mayo--and a Diet Sprite. Then I had a chocolate cupcake leftover from the grands' week-end treat. But it was a mini-cupcake, and I ate it standing up. It doesn't count, right? I didn't really blow my diet.
By then, I was so famished, I couldn't think straight.
No, it doesn't count when you're standing up. And if it was very small. *LOL*
Sandwich sounds awesome. :)
Oh, and Donna, I forgot to say welcome aboard! I missed your first blog last week - RL has been a bit crazy lately!
...and I ate it standing up. It doesn’t count, right? I didn’t really blow my diet.
ROTFLMAO! Okay, I have to tell the DH this. He just sits too much!
Irish, thank you for the welcome! I understand about RL being crazy.
Janga, I think you actually burn up TWICE the calories when you eat standing up. :) (So have a second cupcake! LOL)
It's a known fact there are no calories in anything eaten standing up. (Some author has that at the back of her books and I can't remember who right now. Hunter maybe?)
I ended up with a plain Wendy's burger, but I got the baked potato instead of the french fries. That's huge for me.
Chance - I've never owned a dining room table (for the record, putting the table in the dining room does not make it a dining room table) and I NEVER entertain company. I'm as lost here as you are. LOL!
Yes...dining room table... I think...yes, my Mom has one of those. A few of my siblings have them. I have one, sorta. But I call it my craft table and it's in the office. The Dining room has a card table stacked with stuff going to Goodwhill one of these days.
Now, Mom bought a new set last year. I called dibs on it for when she's gone. (Yes, we do this in my family...no biggie. It's not morbid. She appreciates knowing who wants what.)
So shut up about it. ;)
I had a guest room once. You know, for that thing called company. I mean, I live along one of the most beautiful bays in the world. Just 3 hours from Sacramento summer triple digits...thinking friends would come to visit.
After 4 years and no visits, I turned it into an office.
Screw them. They can get a hotel.
And I have a troll. A 6'5" troll that looks like a lumberjack. That's where the partially deaf thing comes in handy.
I'm sorry I'm late. I tend to believe that being married gives me a migraine in my left eye socket.
The Mattycakes and I watch the Marriage Ref. We laugh about how ridiculous it all is. We don't need a ref. Arguments are good for marriage. If you did nothing but preen over this prat you married every day of their life and never fought about a single thing wouldn't that make life rather dull?
This is why I hide ice cream in the freezer. Why I bought the color of paint I wanted for the kitchen instead of the hideous rust color he wanted. Why I am "partially" deaf. The list goes on and on. You think he listens to me 24 hours a day or even wants to? Oh hell no. Some things in a marriage are good for it. If he wants to be the next Paul Wall go for it. If you wanna be the next Martha Stewart but can't cook to save your life, ain't nothing stopping you and no one should. In marriage you need something to look forward to. I dunno why they made this show other than to show other married couples that everyone argues about dumb shit that doesn't add up to anything significant in your life.
This is why I shouldn't have been allowed to marry. LOL
I always say things I shouldn't say. I always open my mouth and insert my foot. I am that troll that sits underneath the bridge and waits for the perfect opportunity to piss in someone's cheerios.
You've never pissed in my cheerios. Other than to say marriage isn't all its cracked up to be, but I already knew that, so it wasn't like it was a big revelation or anything.
He's a twinkle-eyed troll. Amazing.
I spent years in a marriage with lots of fighting. I've spent as more years now without the fighting. I'll take the "without the fighting" any day.
Speaking of random crap people argue about: http://www.mil-millington.com/.
This guy should be featured on the show.
Oops, ended up on the Hottie page -- accidentally -- about an hour ago. LOL
Actually, I've been writing. Gasp! Eeek!
But I wanted to see what was going on in here. Mmm. I don't have anything to add since you're talking about mystical things like marriage, and dining room tables -- I know nothing of them! LOL
Now trolls. . .that's a different story!
My parents are also big proponents of having something to fall back on. In fact, my mom decided to remind me of this fact just today. Sometimes I wonder how I got stuck in a non-artistic family.
I felt bad for the husband on The Marriage Ref. It wasn't even about him achieving his dream or not--it was more that his wife didn't believe he could, and I felt bad that he wasn't supported more. Who cares if he never becomes a huge rap star? Even though, you never know . . . it could happen. The husband still brought home money, he was there for his family and kids and her, and I just thought . . . you know, let the guy have his dream and be more supportive. I didn't have a good feeling that marriage would last long.
Ely, I totally agree.
BE SUPPORTIVE, PEOPLE!
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