Sunday, February 21, 2010
What Joan Rivers Can Teach Us About Revisions
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately, thinking of things to do with my time off on Thursday and Friday. I took time off with no particular vacation hot spot in mind; just wanted to be free to do Hellion Happy Things. Incidentally refining the list of Hellion Happy Things has been quite entertaining for several evenings, as I prioritize what I really want to do.Most of the list involves girl stuff. Hair cut, eyebrow grooming, hair dying, and a pedicure. And some wine drinking. Just basic: “I want to loll around all day, pretending I’m a New Jersey housewife.” Minus the tanning. (And no vajazzling, so don’t bother asking.) If you saw me right now, you’d realize why all these activities made my list. Spring is coming, by God. And before Spring gets here, I need to make a half effort to actually not frighten strangers with what I look like now. It’s bad. Kathy Bates from Misery bad.
My hair style’s grown out; my eyebrows are crazy; my toenails look boring; and I’ve got a general malaise where Winter is concerned that I’m hoping some laughter with girlfriends and a bottle of wine will cure. The problems are plain and obvious and they’re things I can fix. Or more honestly, my checkbook can fix.
Then as I was making my list, I had a mini-epiphany: when you leave things alone for three months, it’s a lot easier to see what needs to be fixed.
Consider a finished manuscript. Once I finished my first manuscript, all I saw were articles constantly harping to leave your manuscript alone for at least 6 weeks (better three months) before you do revisions. But no one ever wants to do that, do they? No. They want to do it now. They want to polish and polish and then send it out in the world (which of course I did) for everyone to love it. And which of course nobody did. At the time, I was dejected by this global rejection, but now I can see the point.
I realize now a lot of our efforts to polish and polish newly finished manuscripts is like sending Joan Rivers New Jersey Housewives out to find husbands when they’ve spent the last month in a spa. They’re too tanned, too false, too plucked, and too alike. There is nothing natural anymore because they spent all their time looking in one of those mirrors that magnifies your pores by ten times. They fix the molehills instead of the mountains. They lose their inner sparkle. They’re husks of their real selves.
I beg you: learn from Joan Rivers. Don’t start cutting right away! Let your natural beauty rest and shine for a while, then carefully and prudently correct where correction is needed. And don’t overpluck. Do not turn your manuscript into a husk of its former glory because you can’t step away long enough to look at it objectively.
I realize a lot of us like to write cleanly, edit as we go—and I’m not trying to change that. That works for a lot of writers; and if it works, don’t tinker with it. (Bull Durham: don’t fuck with a winning streak. I get that.) But once you’ve written your first clean draft; once you’ve finally gotten to the end—let the damned thing sit the Winter in a drawer before you run it through its final polish. It’s a lot easier to see the obvious when you do.
Have you ever overplucked one of your manuscripts? How do you keep yourself from editing too soon? How do you feel about eyebrows? What things do you like to do to get ready for Spring and chase away the blues of a long Winter? And if you had a day off to do whatever you wanted, what would you do? (You don’t get extra brownie points if you virtuously say: “I’d write all day.” I won’t believe you.)
P.S. SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO WACKIE JACKIE, WHO IS CELEBRATING HER BIRTHDAY TODAY! DRINK UP A CELEBRATORY DRINK FOR MY DEAR FRIEND, JACK!
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61 comments:
Ah. A real spring day off... I'd settle Bonnie into doggie daycare, and take a spin down the curve of Montery Bay, past Big Sur to the historic Nepenthe Restaurant.
http://www.nepenthebigsur.com/
It sits high above the Pacific, with spectacular views. I'd peruse their lovely eclectic store,then wander out to the patio restaurant/bar, order something fruity to drink, a delicious meal and just...probably read.
As for editing stuff. Well, I let this book sit several weeks. Which for me is a far amount of time. I'd say I even let it sit two months. I am considering diving back into A Caribbean Spell soon...and it's been nearly two years for a real edit on it.
I'll let you know how it goes!
That picture is frightening. LOL!
First of all, in defense of NJ housewives.... I don't fake bake, I go to Supercuts, I can't stand how fake nails feel on my fingers, and I've only had one massage in my whole life. Maybe I need to get cozy with Joan. LOL!!
As for editing. I edited my first story right away and that wasn't the smartest move. My last MS, I did a tentative read for grammar etc, but then left it for a month and read for big changes after that. That worked much much better. I spent that month writing the query and synopsis and compiling a list of agents/doing research on them. Much much better.
What I'd do with a day off. I would probably go to the mall. All day. My little guy's not the greatest shopper so I usually have to hit the shops in hour or two hour intervals. Not easy to get some serious shopping done. If I had all day, I'd wander around through store after store, catch some bad for me food in the food court, and people watch.
Sounds awesome.
Have you seen RuPaul's Drag Race? It's America's Next Top Model---with drag queens. And it's much, much funnier! Anyway, I got suckered in to a few episodes yesterday, and so your picture made perfect sense to me :)
I agree entirely, because I made the same mistake you did. I write a fairly clean first draft. So clean in fact, I sent it out immediately. My agent loved it and he sent it out to editors......
and we waited........
and no one loved it. And three months later, I know *exactly* why they didn't love it. I can see every glaring plot issue, every structural issue, all those things I was much, much too close to see the first time around.
And I have to say, it's KILLING me that I can't touch it right now, because I know now exactly what it needs. But I will have the chance to make it shine soon, and will do so.
In the meantime, with a day off.....I'd go shopping. We don't have any real malls/stores around me. The closest is Annapolis. So I'd do that. I'd drive to Annapolis, go shopping at a good mall, go down to the waterfront to wander through the quaint little shops and have lunch, go to a spa there....ahhhhh how wonderful that would be!
Hal, I'm up for shopping whenever you need me....
2nd: that restaurant you reference reminds me of a place in Jill Barnett's The Days of Summer. It takes place in California, and I believe in a location the same or similar to your ideal.
Bonus to you for being able to sit and let a manuscript rest for before editing!
That picture is clear proof that less is more. Sheesh.
I've yet to get to the end (I'm getting so tired of typing those words) but I have this short story I wrote a couple years ago and when I go back and read it now, I'm actually impressed at certain parts. I almost have to check to make sure I wrote it. If that's what happens when you leave something alone for a while, I'm all for distance.
Not sure what I'd do with a day off. I really want to finish painting my house, but that's not the right spirit for this question. I think I'd probably go shopping, provided I had the money, or take in a matinee of a movie to which I couldn't take kiddo. But honestly, writing in a coffee shop somewhere sounds heavenly right now too.
Marn: I totally forget you're a NJ housewife. *LOL* You should totally do a reality TV show called the REAL New Jersey Housewives--and you and your friends get together and show inventive ways to carpool, shop, and chase toddlers. (Don't you love how these are all NJ Housewives or LA Housewives? Has anyone noticed none of these shows feature a midwest housewife? Where's the KC Housewives, damnit? I want to see their hair and nails!)
See you learned from your first manuscript. (I'm not sure I did, it was so long between manuscripts. *LOL*)
Hal, my friend Pam was talking about this show. (She loves artistic makeup and really high heels--so this show is right up her alley.)
Hey, at least your story--clean and all--still merited an agent and excitement. I heard crickets with mine.
But I'm glad you'll be able to fix the glaring plot problems soon and try this again! (I remember JK Rowling freaking about book 4; said she redid some plot feature like 7 times or something, lost sleep over it, still didn't like it because there was something contradictory about it--and she said no one's caught it yet. *LOL* I only say this because it might not be possible to fix every plot problem, but you still might be able to make it believable.)
Oh, I meant to say to Marn: you seriously need to get another massage. I can't recommend them enough...and take Hal with you.
I’m actually impressed at certain parts. I almost have to check to make sure I wrote it. If that’s what happens when you leave something alone for a while, I’m all for distance.
*LOL* Yeah, I've had that happen before to me too. That is the good thing about distance. You appreciate your writing more. "I really wrote this? Huh."
Don't worry. Soon enough you'll be typing, "When I finished my first manuscript..." and you'll get tired of those after about 6 months.
See, I'd let you paint your house. That sounds less virtuous to me than "I'd rather be writing." Even if it is in a coffee shop, by yourself, and you're on a streak. The movie thing sounds good. I wanted to do that this weekend, but February is one of those months where they pump out awful movies. This weekend they're debuting: The Crazies (apparently a documentary about my relatives) and Cop Out (a documentary about my life.)
Personally, I think the way the media portrays NJ is pretty hilarious. If a person just watched Jersey Shore and the NJ Housewives, I'd imagine everyone would think NJ folks were definitely a certain way. There's a faction that's like that but most of NJ is normal, I swear. :)
Can you imagine being like JK though, and knowing something was "wrong" after your book was published? Shudder....
I saw the trailer for Despicable Me when I saw Percy Jackson this weekend. It looked really cute.
I'm not a Tracy Morgan fan, but Cop Out actually looks hysterical. The trailer makes you nearly pee yourself. And kiddo and I were hitting the theater pretty regular until this month. Couldn't find anything we wanted to go see. I didn't make the connection that's just what happens in February.
At least next month we get Alice in Wonderland and kiddo and I checked out the trailers for Despicable Me coming in July. You have to see the minions. So funny.
*LOL* It is pretty hilarious. And if we believed the media, 99% of people from Missouri wander around Walmart in their bathrobes, wearing curlers in their hair. (I mean, the ONE time I make a rum run!)
Couldn't hack knowing something was wrong and there was no way to fix it. *LOL*
Oooh, I love minions. *LOL* I'll have to check that out.
I'm a huge Bruce Willis fan. And I think Bruce does really good in comedies. But I'm very anti-Tracey Morgan. ANTI, ANTI, ANTI-Tracey Morgan. (For me, he's like Jim Carrey/Will Ferrell at their unfunniest.) So there hasn't been anything close to peeing myself watching the trailers where I'm concerned. For me, it's like watching a minute and a half of fart jokes--I don't crack a smile. I just look forward to the next commercial.
But then again, I love Talladega Nights, so to each their own.
Okay, I like that they blew up an inflatable pyramid to cover up the fact the real one got stolen. NICE. *LOL*
I love the cow in a can.
Cow in a Can sounds like another drink. Now, the San Francisco Chronicle did a story yesterday on the growing popularity of... RUM! Talked about a bar in the bay area that specializes in the stuff, carrying over 200 varieties.
How does this sound? 3 different kinds of rum, lime, grapefruit, fresh brains, island spices and Herbsaint... It's a Zombie. (So it has to have brains, of course.)
That would be worth trecking down to Walmart in yer robe and curlers!
Oh, the blog... Yeah, Hel! I bet Nepenthe has been featured in many a book set along the coast of California...
I prefer my brains sauteed in a bit of butter. Not in the middle of my rum. (Okay, not really. I'll eat some weird meats. Brains is not one of them. I do like my steak rare though...so I either am very werewolfy or slightly vampire. I think it's probably more werewolf though.)
We do need some shapeshifter or monster drinks on this ship though. The Zombie is good, but what will we serve the wolves?
I'd love a spring escape. I'd take a picnic lunch for one, a favorite book of poems, my ipod, and a notebook and find an isolated table at one of the parks on the lake and spend the day soaking up sunshine, admiring wildflowers, and thinking long thoughts.
As for movies, I'm not sure what it says that over the next ten months all but a couple of those I want to see badly enough not to wait for Netflix are based on kids' books: Ramona and Beezus, Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang, and of course, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Nov. 19). I do want to see Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, and Love (August) and Jack Black in the re-vision of Gulliver's Travels (December), but right now the only thing I'm watching even via Netflix is episodes of As Time Goes By.
Janga gets top marks in the class!
I’d love a spring escape. I’d take a picnic lunch for one, a favorite book of poems, my ipod, and a notebook and find an isolated table at one of the parks on the lake and spend the day soaking up sunshine, admiring wildflowers, and thinking long thoughts.
This sounds like an absolutely perfect day. I'd take a friend though to laugh with; and make sure my picnic was on the lawn outside of the art museum though. *LOL* I love to wander in the art museum.
I knew they were making another Nanny McPhee, but didn't know they were making a Ramona movie! How exciting!!
And of course, I can't wait for the Deathly Hallows!!! (Oh, and the new Twilight. I mean that's a kid's book, right? *LOL*)
*LOL* Another aside.
Jenny Crusie is having a "contest" of sorts where you can compete for a bound manuscript of Maybe This Time, her new book. It's supposed to help generate buzz. 35 manuscripts, 7 a day for 7 days. The form comes up at noon (EST) and you can compete then.
It is now 12:08 EST and the site has crashed.
Who would have seen that coming? *LOL*
I tried at 11:59 and it was already crashed. :)
I almost said take a picnic lunch to First Landing State Park which is on the Chesapeake Bay less than ten minutes from my house. It's gorgeous and I could walk the beach or sit and just enjoy the scenery and quiet.
I'm sure this goes without saying, but no brains for me.
Oh, and this should get bonus points. I also considered a trip to Nauticus for the Real Pirates Exhibit. But if I went without kiddo, she'd kill me. LOL!
Yeah, I'd been trying since 10 minutes till the noon, but it didn't crash for me until 5 after. (For some reason, optimistic they'd post early.) *sighs*
You definitely get bonus points for the Pirates exhibit. *LOL* And also the picnic and walk at the beach. *sighs* The beach.
The site is back up and I got to fill out the form!
Thankfully, the Pirate thing is here until April. Maybe kiddo and I will head that way this weekend. I'll be sure to take pictures if I can.
I am so all over that let it sit theory. And I swear it is not cause I'm the biggest procrastinator out there!
My perfect day would start with and increase in temperature from 30 degrees to 80. Once that happens I would love to sleep in, go out for a great breakfast with the DH, ditch him for some quality time at the spa and come home to a hot home cooked meal with my house completely cleaned!
Oh, revising. It is the bane of my existence.
And that picture looks like a Toddlers and Tiaras tot aged 40 years. ;)
I guess so--it now says "no longer accepting submissions." *LOL*
HURRAY!!! I'm so glad you got to fill out the form? You think you were one of the first 7?
See, I love Irish's fantasy day--because not only did she do all wonderful fun things, but she comes home to a clean house she didn't have to clean!!!
I want Irish's day too. How did we not think of a spa day? And I'm talking the full-treatment, which I've never done. I want to bathe in mud!
I don't know, Jenny said it would cut off after 10 or something. Watch me be #8. Argh!
Ely, I know it's the bane of your existence...I still hope you'll revise Africa one day. *puppy look*
I had thought of a spa day. Half my stuff involves "spa things" though not at a real spa.
I do not want to bathe in mud though. I remember getting some wrap spa treatment once and it didn't do anything I really liked. *LOL* I felt slimey and cold for most of the treatment, stupid for the duration while I was left cold, slimey, and disgusting to "relax", and relieved when they washed it all off and I could get to the next portion of my relaxing.
But to each their own. It wouldn't be so popular if mud bathing didn't feel good to somebody. Maybe it does do something. I'm sticking with massage and toenail painting.
And stop saying that. Maybe you're lucky number 7.
Well, for werewolves I'm gonna steal the song title from a 45 I used to own...
The Werewolf Watusi! And maybe we can put some of the Cow in a Can into it...
Okay, warm mud. Must be warm. And maybe just my feet now that I think about it. Got the image of mud in placed I don't want mud. Yikes.
Maybe! I'll keep checking for the latest updates.
Chance - You should change that to the Werewolf Wasabi! A drink with a little bite. ;)
Really, wouldn't you rather see werewolfs dancing?
(werewolves?)
Raw fish accompaniment in a werewolf drink?
Can I say BLECH loud enough???
And yes, mud should be warm. And best if slathered on, then wrapped in warming blanket and left to bake for 20 minutes or so. Did this at the Sonoma Spa a few times...
Right, because we drink this shit for the taste. How could I forget?
No dancing werewolves for me. Too weird.
I like the Werewolf Wasabi! But I love wasabi! (Not big on the raw fish--wouldn't think the wolves would be either. But wasabi goes okay with a piece of steak. Okay, I think just about anything goes with a piece of steak.)
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!! I got one of the Crusie Truck Drafts! I can't believe it. This is my lucky day!
I'm so buying a lottery ticket on the way home. LOL!
No, that book is dead. It would never sell to editors b/c it's too "dark."
And, Terri, I'm jealous!
You can keep saying that, Ely, but I'm going to keep nagging.
I just saw it on my Google Reader--right at the top of the list! Yay for you, Terri! You know we're all going to be terribly jealous.
I'm so excited. I promise not to gloat....much. LOL!
I never get to read things early, so this is fun. And it's nice knowing I won't have to try again in whatever new reindeer game they come up with.
Ely - What's wrong with "dark". Is that out of favor these days for contemps?
Right. We can tell you're definitely keeping the gloating to a minimum. *LOL*
Of course, if I'd won, I would have strung the ship out in lights. And cabana boys.
Oh, since this book has ghosts, maybe I'll do a pirate ghost party. Speaking of, watched POTC3 again last night. Kiddo never saw the last hour or so before. She loved it, as expected.
Okay, my day off now includes reading my Crusie bound MS. :)
*LOL* The last hour of POTC3 is the best. That kiss!!! *swoons* The heartache!!!!
Every day off should include a Crusie book that nobody else has access to. LOL
Whooo Hooooo! That is so awesome, Ter! Definitely buy that lotto ticket. I think we should make a new rule that luck comes in threes.
I was at a spa once that offered to lather you down in chocolate and then cover you with hot wet towels. Now that sounded like something I'd wanna try. Unfortunately, it was a little on the pricey side. I usually go for the traditional boring Swedish massage myself. I could also get into having someone just massage my scalp for a good hour. My SIL did that and said it was heaven. She's not too fond of getting naked in front of strangers, which believe it or not I don't seem to have a real problem with since discovering the heaven that is massage therapy.
There is nothing boring about a massage or a scalp massage. (I'd roll up and purr for a scalp massage. It's sad really.)
And I have no problem with stripping and lying on the table either. (Though my friend Holly prefers guys to do the massage, but I'm more comfortable if Christa does it. Technically speaking, I know neither the man nor the woman masseuse is interested in what is under my sheet, but I can relax with the woman because we've both got the same thing and it matters even less to her. Also, the girls will talk more to help relax you. Boys don't talk, which makes me even more tense. You don't go for a massage to walk out tense.)
I wish I could find a good masseuse. I've had three in the last couple years and walked out in more pain than I walked in with. Though the chick that washed my hair Friday evening at the hair dressers was wonderful. Add me to the scalp massage club.
Yeah, I always ask for a woman. I'm just more comfortable with women. Although I was surprised with a guy once and I went with it so as not to make waves. It did take me a while to relax. Next time I think I'll insist.
Dude, it's your DIME! Insist! Make waves!! *LOL* I'm sorry, it took me like 20 minutes to relax, and that was half my hour right there! *LOL*
Bo'sun, do they have a Massage Envy near you? I like it rougher--though not as rough Holly does. She apparently likes to feel she's been shoved down a mine shaft when she's through--so it's half pain, half bliss. And I feel like I'm drunk when I leave. It's sad. I know they have all kinds. I was with one girl, but she was too nice. But Sam and Christa have both been a good blend of nice and rough.
I googled and it turns out there's one like two miles from my house. I'm in that shopping plaza all the time and never noticed. Huh.
I'll check it out. I'm trying to find rewards for myself for eating better and exercising. I told myself I couldn't make the brownies until I exercised two times during a week. Apparently, I have no authority, even in my own mind. *sigh*
Maybe this will be a better reward.
I went with him partly not to make waves and partly to see if I was just being too prissy. I decided it really wasn't as big a deal as I thought it would be, but in the future I would definitely insist.
Last one I had was at Massage Envy and I really enjoyed it. I have a hot little gift certificate burning a hole in my wallet as we speak to go back but I'm waiting for my nice spring day. I don't want to go in there, get all happy and relaxed and walk back out into the freezing ass cold and tense up within seconds! I like the drunk feeling, not the being shoved down a mine shaft feeling. :)
Bo'sun, definitely give it a whirl once. I think they have a newcomer $39 deal you can try.
Irish, I'm willing to be prissy. I'm skittish, by God. *LOL* I'm not ashamed to admit it. If you're male and standing too close to me, you're just as likely to be maimed as not. Hell, if you're dating me, you're as likely to be maimed as not. Clearly that's part of the fun in dating me: can you survive the daily maiming? Did you dodge quick enough not to be elbowed or have your nose shoved into your brain when her head flies backwards when you startle her?
I agree, walking back out in the cold isn't inspiring, but I'm doing this to encourage spring. Get a fucking move on, Spring... You know, if you build it, we will come.
63 degrees in Monterey today.
;-)
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