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How Writing is Like Toilet Training
My lil’ pirate has been potty training this week. Not the easiest venture. Sorta like threading a needle with a rope. I blame my husband for my kid’s stubborn streak though I’m sure when he’s not getting pushed around later in life, I’ll be thankful and taking all the credit. But now, said stubbornness is not conducive to potty training.
I’ll spare you the gory details but I was thinking yesterday about how potty training is like writing a novel.
First, at the start, I could only focus on how cool it would be for him to be potty trained. I mean, no more dirty diapers (well, until my next kid is born in May). But I’d get a break, a couple blissful months sans diapers. Then he’ll be potty trained, well, forever. This optimism is kind of like the beginning of a novel, when you focus on how cool it will have been to have written a novel. An entire novel. What an accomplishment. And once it’s done, no one can take that experience away from you. You’ll have done it.
But, as I’m in the middle of it, it’s not as glamorous as I’d hoped. With potty training, there have been accidents, stumbling blocks. My kid’s gotten frustrated; I’ve gotten frustrated. There have been some clothes changes and fresh pairs of cute Thomas the Tank Engine underpants. Just like the middle of my stories, when I run into all kinds of stops and starts, moments when I feel like it’ll never be done.
There have been shining moments too. DS has managed to go on the potty the majority of the times during the day and every time you’d think he scaled Mt. Everest. When he conquers an obstacle, his enthusiasm is unmatched. I feel the same way when a chapter/passage/sentence feels just right. Like I could do anything. Like it’s all worth it.
I’m sure when we’re done potty training, we’ll both be thrilled with this step into the “big boy” world. Just like when I finished my first novel. The accomplishment filled my chest with pride.
And, just like my son’ll keep looking for that next step of growth, so do I keep looking for my next step in growth as a writer.
What else do you think writing is like? Any analogies to share? Any past experiences that parallel your writing experience? Any horror stories about potty training? I could use a laugh….
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35 comments:
(Pardon the pun but) HOLY CRAP. *LOL* I opened the blog just as I was taking a bite of sandwich this morning and nearly choked to death laughing.
Excellent use of a "non-writer" experience being like a writer experience. *LOL* I think Marn wins it for the year. We should give out awards, like Oscars...the pirates should have their own Oscars! *wheels turning*
Sorry, sorry.
Personally, even though I've never toilet trained anyone and don't remember learning myself, I can totally see the similarities. *LOL* In the beginning, it does seem like a shiny prize and then in the midst of it, it's a big stinky mess that you have to follow through on because you do not have another choice.
LOL!! Thanks Hells. :) And Holy Crap about covers it. *sigh*
And ain't that the truth? Following through because I don't have another choice.
Oh and finishing my book is like that too.... :)
Thank goodness potty training is a distant memory, but, when my son sick - as he was recently with a tummy ache, I'm still reminded that there is still mom duty for messy jobs. How soon we forget though and lose whatever it was that disassociated us to change diapers. I was taking extreme measures to avoid touching a pair of messy pants the other day...picture salad tongs and a mask found for drywall and a plastic bag. You think I'm kidding? All items were thrown away - - except for the kid. Poor guy. He was freaking out too...but probably in reaction to me freaking out. Ya think? LOL
It makes me think that there is writer duty for messy jobs. Messy characters who need me. I've been bemoaning that the story isn't writing itself. Don't they (they characters) have enough training (plot instruction) to get the job done? Do I really have to freak out along with them? Yeah, I do.
LOL! I love this analogy, Marn. I've never had the, cough, joy, cough, of totally toilet training a little pirate, but I did get to help when my little nephews were potty training, and now I'm totally seeing the similarities *g*
So I've been trying to bake the perfect loaf of French bread with garlic this week. I'm not a good cook, or a good baker, so it's been a lot of trial and error. How bubbly does the yeast have to get, how long do I have to knead it, does dough ever actually get elastic? I've yet to actually get there, but I'm getting closer.
The starts and stops feel a bit like writing. I stare at the directions, which make little sense to me. But the more times I try, the more the directions make sense. And when I finally got a ball of dough that actually *was* elastic, it all clicked in my head.
Kind of like how a deep POV suddenly clicked, or voice suddenly clicks after you finally hit it right. Instructions about writing are similarly abstract. How do you know if you're voice is right any more than you know if you're dough is actually doubled in size? Or properly punched down?
But when you finally get it exactly right, you feel it. Then you spend all your time trying to re-create it. Remember exactly what you did so you can do it again.
I've never potty trained kids, but teaching the dogs to go outside is a lot like my writing so far - they pick and choose when they want to be good and like to act up now and then. They are never easy/good when you want them to be!
Same with writing - the day I feel like "ok, I'm in the mood and excited and this is going to rock," is the day I sit and stare at the screen. The days I'm not feeling like writing are the ones that the words fly!
Ha! I never would have come up with this one since I don't have kids of my own but so very, very true!
I'm terrible with analogies but lately, Christmas shopping and writing seem to have a lot of similarities for me. I start off with high hopes of the perfect gifts in the beginning and come up with my plan to get them. Then I fall off schedule, don't have the ease in finding things or completing things that I thought I'd have. Then I get a discouraged, completely convinced all my gifts to friends will be a complete failure or I'll never finish. And then Christmas arrives and lo and behold I managed to pull through all of it.
I haven't reached Christmas day with my writing but I still have hope (even after, erm...2...3...yrs...).
Your post makes me look at the term "#%$#@* first draft" in an entirely new way, Marnee. LOL!
Potty training really does work well as a writing analogy. Even when the little one graduates to big kid status, accidents happen, and pullups may be necessary at night after success is declared with daytime training. In the same way, when we finish a book, we think our job is done, but then there are revisions; and when the ms. moves into the hands of agents and editors beyond our conscious control, we may find its "training" stage is still incomplete.
Hal, baking bread is an art. (No wonder they're called artisans.) I never knead my bread long enough. I don't have the patience to stand at my counter and do it over and over and over for 10-15 minutes. I get impatient stirring roux in a pan and letting it darken for gumbo. *LOL* I wonder if I could knead bread longer if I had something on a TV to watch nearby? I just can't stare at the counter and be "in the moment with the bread"--I get too "bored." *LOL*
But I think you're right. When you know you've GOT IT, you work to get it again. *LOL* I can think of lots of things where that was true. *LOL*
I just can’t stare at the counter and be “in the moment with the bread”–I get too “bored.”
LMAO!!! Oh, good, that's not just me. I trying to fall in love with cooking, and learn how to get in the moment with my bread. It's not really working yet *g* I'm still waiting for me and my bread to connect and take it to the next level. LMAO!
What I have learned from today's blog.
1) How happy I am to be 7 yrs removed from potty training and that I will never have to do it again. At least not until called upon to help with grandchildren (many, MANY moons from now.)
2) Melissa needs Hazmat geer.
3) Sabrina is bi-polar.
4) Steph is still the sweetest chick I know.
5) Hellie should be on Ritalin.
6) Janga needs an intervention.
7) And Hal needs to step AWAY FROM the dough.
Marn - You deserve some kind of award for managing to think positive about only having a *few* months with no dirty diapers. LOL! Can you imagine those people who have two (or six!) in diapers at the same time? I think I'd go insane.
Since I haven't gotten to the end of an MS yet, for me, writing is like real life. No luck getting to the HEA. :( And a lot of crappy attempts along the way.
I think a tornado just took many of us out. LOL!
Aw, I'm just playing. Y'all are just so funny. And I'm the worst of the bunch, as you can see. LOL! I'd have to finish something to be able to create the analogy! I can't even get that far!
Wait, that's the answer. Writing is like sex.
LMAO!!!!
Yes, exactly like sex. You work really hard wondering, "God, am I ever get to the end?" and then when you get to the end, you think, "Huh. Is that it? I mean, it's goooood...but honestly for that much work, I think I would have rather had a brownie."
But that's only assuming you finish.
Just sayin'...
Again like the sex, because after all that time not finishing, you get tired of bothering with it at all so you change hobbies or find a new book you CAN finish. *LOL*
Exactly. No wonder I've been playing Sudoku like crazy.
Hal - You're BAKING bread?! Sweetie, there are these things called bakeries.... They make bread. Though I do give you props. I wouldn't have managed that.
I like the whole epiphany analogy though.... I could use one of those again soon. LOL!!
Melissa - Wait, so the messy stuff doesn't end after potty training?! Why didn't anyone tell me this!!! LOL!!
But you're right! Our characters do need us. I like that. This is messy business.
I was going to go the sex route as well (which is very unlike me), but Terri and Hellie beat me to it. I copied what Hellie told me last month and if I didn't have younguns about I'd hang it on my bulletin board next to my computer...
Well, Irish, writing a book is a lot like sex. You can read all the books you like about it and get some really great ideas, but honestly, the only way to figure out what works for you is to just do it already. The first couple times aren’t going to be that hot…but then you’ll get a rhythm down. You know, one you like. *LOL*
And as I said... Okay, well now this makes sense… no wonder it’s taking me so long to get it right!!!!
Marn - the messy stuff never ends. And because you are a mommy everyone expects you to deal with it. After you are done taking care of your children you start taking care of your parents! You sooooo don't want to go there.
Hal - I'm totally impressed about the whole French bread thing. I would have given up. Actually, I probably never would have attempted it. I definitely didn't get that cooking gene.
Phew, this blog pongs!
Nope, I don't buy this nappy analogy at all. I've never had to change one but I have observed the procedure .... from a safe distance.
Don't buy the sex thing either!
I'm sticking with my dreams of literary creation and writer's bliss.
It's a theorists privilege never to dirty the hands. LOL
Good try though Marnee! :wink:
Irish - I've already informed my other siblings (none of whom have bothered to reproduce) that they get our parents. It's only fair.
And I didn't get the cooking gene either. Missed me by a mile.
I didn't get the cooking gene either. Yet for some reason, the people in my house seem to expect food on a regular basis *g*.
So since I've resigned myself to having to prepare meals pretty much daily for the remainder of my natural life, I figure I might as well learn to enjoy it. I'm hoping I can fall in love with it, and it can be something fun and relaxing I look forward too. I don't believe it'll work yet, but I might as well give it a shot :)
There are aspects of cooking I really really love (baking is not one of them, I'm with Marn--there are bakeries for this and a lot cheaper than my production)--like dicing carrots and celery and onions, sauteing them, and then adding broth and meat...and making a soup. It's all nurtury and good. Even comes in a bowl, which I prefer to eat out of than off a plate. (I'm not a fan of plates.)
But I'm game with the stuff that's easy too. Put a slab of meat in the crock with some onion soup mix and a can of beef broth, some onion, some carrot, and you have roast. Huzzah. Some instant mashed potatoes, and it's a done day--you're out, what? 10 minutes of prep time?
Sabrina - The days I don't feel like writing are the days I rock my word count. Why is that? Such a strange phenomenon. LOL!
Steph - Christmas shopping. Ugh. I'm not anywhere near being done. I'm hoping next week. I go to FLorida next weekend to see family, so I hope that I have it done by then.
Hellie, you're a bread baker too? Insane.... :) But I do get the whole once you get it, you want to get it agaain thing.... :) I think the memory of finishing one story keeps me going to the end of the next.
Janga - I think setbacks in everything are expected (yes, particularly potty training). I think the key is that even when we have to step back, the ultimate goal is to get going forward again as soon as you can.
Hal - I love to cook, but there are some things just out of my realm of understanding. Like things made with yeast. I somehow can't undrestand how to work with yeast. It's out of my knowledge base.
:)
apparently you have to do something called proof. I'm not sure what that is, but from what I can wrap my head around, it's the first step :) This is how good I've gotten in my break making skills. I also asked for a bread maker for Christmas so I can properly half-ass it like a true American domestic goddess *g*
Bo'sun - LOL! I love your conclusions. Dead on I suspect. LOL!!
And I have to think positive about it. I'll be elbows deep in breastfeeding and diaper changing again before I even know it. :)
Hells/Ter - like sex huh? Why's it always come back to sex on this boat? LOL!
Irish - Parents next huh? That doesn't sound like fun. But I do agree; Hells has some good analogies. The sex one is good.
Q - It is a theorist's privilege never to dirty his hands. LOL
Hal - I have lots of easy recipes, you just let me know if you're interested. I'm of the same school of cooking as the Sandra Lee on the food network--very semi-homemade. :)
Hellie, you’re a bread baker too? Only when I'm masochistic.
Mostly I try to make those homemade rolls you get at Christmas? (Also more cost and labor efficient to buy them for $2.50 at Walmart, but whatever.) Anyway basically any bread recipe says you knead the dough for about 10 minutes until it gets elastic. I last about 2 minutes before I'm so totally bored, I start rationalizing with myself that THIS is close enough and no one will be able to tell. The bread is always flat and very chewy.
If you're going to make homemade bread, use a Kitchen Aid.
I used to try to make sourdough when I was younger, and if you think the 15 minute kneading is bad, factor in the week's worth of "letting the sourdough base mature"--that's crazy, because I can't believe anyone eats sourdough on purpose.
apparently you have to do something called proof
I think that's when you let the dough rise the first time before you punch it down. (Though some breads require this step twice. Even crazier.)
Marn is probably intimidated that your water (or milk) has to be a specific 100-110 degrees. Too cold and it doesn't work; too hot and you kill it (and it doesn't work.)
Bread is FUSSY.
"Bread is FUSSY."
Ok, I frequently have a fussy child. At times, I have fussy family members or a fussy husband. That's enough fussy things in my life, thankyouverymuch.
I had a brownie today... ;)
'nuff said.
I just had Godiva Double Chocolate Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. :)
yummmmm.....
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