My Drug of Choice
I have to start this by saying my brain is completely fried so I have no idea how this is going to turn out. Cross your fingers and hope for the best.
This weekend was my official graduation ceremony. When I started this degree business, my only thought was to obtain that magical piece of paper that would increase my earning potential. A means to improving my future. But I was quite surprised at what earning this degree did for my present. The simple and overwhelming sense of accomplishment took me completely by surprise.
I believe it was all those academic people who made it feel all serious and important. They were wearing fancy, colorful robes and whatever those scarfy looking things are around their necks. Some were even wearing funny hats. No idea what that was all about.
By the time the ceremony was over, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself. I was wearing this fancy get up and walking with all these intelligent looking people and that fancy pomp and circumstance song was playing. Not to mention the arena full of cheering people. The earning potential thing is still there, but there’s also a new pride in earning this piece of paper while keeping about fifty other balls up in the air.
But, and you knew there had to be a “but”, there’s that one ball I didn’t keep up in the air. And that one thing I haven’t been able to achieve. I have NOT finished writing a book. It’s like the cloud hanging over an otherwise perfect weekend.
Before this weekend, I’d already decided to attempt the NaNoWriMo adventure during the month of November. 50K words during November. If I hit the mark, it should put me somewhere around the black moment and then there’s no reason I shouldn’t be able to write THE END by Dec 31.
It is my belief that when I finish this book, I’ll experience a similar feeling of accomplishment to the one I felt this weekend. It’s like a high to which I could easily get addicted. I’m guessing eventually I’ll want a stronger high only achieved by being published. Then there’s the high of seeing your cover for the first time, finding your book on the shelves, hearing people say they’ve read it and liked it.
For those of you who have finished MSs, what did it feel like to get to THE END? What do you think will be the coolest part of being published for you? Do you imagine what your covers will look like or do you look forward more to receiving feedback from readers? If you’re a reader, what are the big events of your life that have given you the most satisfaction?
Books by the Crew
71 comments:
The scarfy thing is called a HOOD. Doctoral graduates are hooded; and one hopes that your academics who were speaking to you all were PhD people.
I could swear when you graduate with your PhD some of the areas have different hats, but I'm not sure. It's more likely it's just preference. One of the psychology people had a Scottish looking hat, but I could swear it was because he was actually Scottish...and not because psychology has a particular fondness of those sorts of hats.
What did it feel like when I got to the end of the MS? Not as cool as when I graduated I'm afraid. Mostly it felt blurry and surreal and with the overwelming thought: someone is going to correct me and point out why I didn't actually finish my MS.
What did it feel like when I finished me first manuscript. Well, I be workin' on a story that jus' kept goin' and goin' and goin'... When I finished the basic first 12 books... (I can them twelve now since I've done the sensible thing and divied them up.) When I typed a finish that meant the end...I cried. And cried. And cried.
I wasn't thinkin' 'bout publishin'. That came later, much later. When all a' sudden, I knew I had 12 books in this document. So I started parcin' them. When I found that first finish... It were sweet. A warm glow, a sense of satisfaction. And pure terror.
Now what?
Ya'll find that each finish comes wit' some terror. Specially when ya been strivin' toward that place, knowin' there is a next step. Ya got yer diploma and that means celebration time! The what wasn't done? Ya'll get ta it.
What will it make it cool fer when I be published? Seein' the books...sure. But I think, honestly, it will be goin' ta conferences as a published author and havin' wisdom ta impart. (As if bein' published makes ya wise! HA!) But the idea be there, in the back a' me mind...to be able ta help and mentor...as much as I can!
Whoohoo! Bo'sun! We get some pics a' ya in yer cap and gown?
You forgot to mention you had a MAGNA-ificent day! Congrats on graduating with such honors! Yay, you.
You know, you haven't exactly been slacking these past couple of years, but I admit I'm anxious to read more about Brian and Celi. Good luck w/NaNo.
I finished my first book a while back, and as I recall, I felt kind of a let-down. Yes, I cried, but I was writing out of order and The End was written long before The Middle was, LOL. I still almost always write the ending long before I reach it. Now I know it's never the end, because someone will want something. I hear writers itch to change things once the books have been published, too. Uh oh.It could go on indefinitely!
Woop Woop! I bet it was the best day, Ter! Congrats on your success at graduating! That's a major accomplishment!
I can't wait for you to finally write THE END!
I did NaNoWriMo a couple of years ago. I thought it was a lot of fun. I figure if I do it again, it will be in secret, like I do everything else in life. I graduated in secret. I got married in secret. I live my life in secret. I should write a book on secrets. LOL
Sin, you are writing a book on secrets. *eye roll* Geez.
I decided to do NaNo for the exact same reason. I just want to get something out so that I know I can do it. If it's crap then so be it! I just want to train myself to know that is can be done.
so, I'm working this week on finalizing which story I want to go with and doing some character development. Then, come Nov. 1st it's on! If I hit the 50k it will be a miracle - but anything is better than what I have!
Sabrina! You can do it!
You can do it all month long!
Sorry, I couldn't leave that out. Waterboy kills me.
LMAO. I'm glad I have you around to remind me what I'm writing about.
Oh - and CONGRATULATIONS!
Hellie - Hoods, got it. Though I'd prefer not to say I attended a ceremony led by men in hoods, if it's all the same. I'll look up the hats to see if you can help me figure out what those were supposed to be. The Deans had them on, not sure about the others, but yes, PhD's abounded.
You didn't feel some rush of excitement when you knew that first story was told? Really? Surely you tipped back some rum to celebrate.
Chance - You sort of went through the finish line and kept on going, didn't you? LOL! It is very cool of you wanting to give back to others so much. I'm all for helping anyone I can, but I always figure no one will be very interested in what I'd have to tell them. Since it would mostly be, "You just have to do it." I know I hate it when people tell me that...
Maggie - Thanks so much. It was so cool to hear those words after my name. I was so focused on them (and not falling) that I didn't hear my family scream and I can't even remember what the person looked like who handed me the little rolled up blank sheet of paper. LOL!
I guess that would be an odd feeling if you finish somewhere around the 3/4 mark. LOL! But I know you recently saw your first cover and it is AWESOME! Makes me want to cry. How did it feel to get that in your inbox???
Sin - I knew you were getting married. And I've seen the pictures so even Matty isn't a total secret anymore. LOL! And I know your age. I've broken the codes. Ha! (Your ninja secrets you can keep.)
I can't wait to see the disguise you wear to your first book signing. LOL! Promise me it'll include a pornstache.
BTW - My family JUST left and we played cards until the middle of the night so I'm playing hookie and typing from the comfort of my couch. I will be back to sleep here shortly.
Sabrina - I decided not to sign up on the site because I have no intention of starting something from scratch. It feels like this first MS is the hurdle I can't get around so I have to dig in and get it done. When you think about it, averaging 10K a week is all you need, and that's three to four pages a day. I can do four pages with little problem, so as long as I put in a session most everyday, it's doable.
That's what I'm telling myself anyway. :)
You can do it and we'll keep tabs on each other in here. Nothing set in stone, but we'll celebrate even more accomplishments together!
And thanks!!
Hells is getting written out of my will.
Ter, you can know all that stuff and I'll continue to let you live as long as you don't dish.
And, a pornstache would be fantastic. But I'm not sure I could pull that off. LOL
I'm thinking hoodie, faded worn out jeans, my chucks and sunglasses. That should sufficiently keep my identity under wraps.
Terri, my editor sent me three coverflats by priority mail. I had no idea what was in the envelope until I pulled them out. Let's just say I almost got hit on the road beside my mailbox, I was soooo excited. I still have not stopped smiling. :)
No dishing will be coming from me. And you told me anyway, before you knew I knew, so you can't hold it against Hellie. LOL!
This is how unhip I am. What are chucks?
Maggie - I can't even imagine it. And it's so booootiful! To think, you'll have what, SIX covers by the end of next year? LOL!
This is cracking me up. In my living room is a brown box with a bunch of smaller empty boxes in it. Now, the box is on its side, the smaller boxes are spread across the floor, and the cat is going in cirlces inside the bigger one. Amazing what felines find entertaining.
Maggie! That's so EXCITING!
Chucks- Converse's. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chucks
OMG! I love those definitions. LOL! And I just bought my 10 yr old kiddo those shoes a couple weeks ago. Yes, I paid $40 for them. LOL!
BTW - Did you know Hellie convinced me to put a definition on that site for Cougar Crush? LOL! Look it up, I'm the one named Honor Student by Accident. :)
LMAO. I referenced it for my blog on Wednesday.
Hells is getting written out of my will.
Hey! What was I supposed to tell her? She wanted me to come out for vacation and one of the weekends she suggested I said I wasn't available for. What was I supposed to say?
You mean I'm like a footnoted source?! LOL! Cool.
Yes, I did the "cougar crush" first, but upon hearing the definition I submitted, Bo'sun said, "I could write a better one. That's the best you could do?" And then she did.
Critics.
I did NOT say I could do better. I simply said I expected something a little more sarcastic from you and you said, "You try it!" So I did. LOL!
But I wouldn't have posted it. I didn't even know you could do that until you told me you posted yours.
Wow. Part of me wants to be bossy and tell you don't you dare let anything be a cloud hanging over such a wonderful accomplishment. But another little voice says, "You'd feel that way too." I get it.
I did finish a manuscript and it was a hugely personal sense of satisfaction. To write THE END, I did cry, and I did feel that "high." It was the HEA I think that did it. Finally, after so many years in limbo, they had their HEA.
There was a let down, and I think that part was the "now what?" of fulfilling a life goal. When the "now what?" doesn't fulfill all the expectations, the euphoria quiets, but still lingers as an encouragement for future projects. It's an "I can" feeling - - even if I don't do it again. :)
Finishing for me and getting that "I can" feeling did wonders for my confidence. It gave me more of a sense of choice, but it didn't really banish that cloud for the next manuscript. Hmm...what exactly is in that cloud anyway? Just that knowing some piece of me is missing? It might sound odd, but I think that cloud is both unfulfilled personal accomplishment and a sense of responsibility for the characters themselves. Writing characters you're attached to, whether the first manuscript or any story after, kind of comes with a sense needing to finish things for those characters. I actually feel BAD that I haven't tied up the loose ends for them. LOL
I want to do the NaNo too, but I'm not sure I can or could abandon the current story (even if it's progress has slowed to crawl) to start something else. Maybe though.
Congrats on graduating Terri! How exciting! I always love graduation ceremonies - they're just so inspiring *g* And I cracked up at Though I’d prefer not to say I attended a ceremony led by men in hoods, if it’s all the same. LMAO!!
Maggie - that's so awesome. I would have jumped up and down in the middle of the road too :)
Writing The End for my first MS was an awesome feeling. I floated around on a cloud for a day. This time....I was super excited for about an hour, and then I started revisions. Not nearly as much fun *g*.
It's time to close the eyes again and see if I can get this headache go away. It's so sad when you hit that age where staying up too late provides the same hangover as 12 beers. *sigh*
But I want to hear about more of your accomplishments. What do you plan to do with that first advance? Will you be practical (like me!) and pay some bills, or hit the high seas on a fancier vessel than this one?!
Congratulations again, Terri. Your achievements deserve great celebration. I salute you as you end one journey and begin another.
I only walked for my baccalaureate degree; both my master's and Ph.D. were conferred in absentia. But graduation was a multi-ceremony, ultra-traditional, very sentimental occasion at my under-grad insitution, and I wept my way through Class Day, Baccalaureate Sermon, and Graduation. I still remember those days fondly.
I have officially signed up for NaNoWriMo. I wrote 30K on Book 2, which is now moving back to Book 3, in September for ULYS, so I think 50K is doable. I'm wavering on whether to focus on the other Gentry book for NaNo or to work on something completely new.
Melissa - We are such kindred spirits. LOL! I do have those "what now" worried come up, but they are more the "If you sell one book they are going to expect you to write others and they'll have to get better every time and you'll have to promote them and come up with witty blogs and look good in pictures and you should really get your teeth fixed before then" kind of worries. *sigh* Not that I've thought too far ahead.
Hal - I would be happy with a whole day of smiling. And I think we should name it the Maggie jig. We'll all dance it when we get our covers! I'm pretty sure it won't be more than this time next year that we're all dancing over your first cover. :)
I'm all boring and practical. I've outlined how much I need to clear to pay off certain bills, and to quit my job (which will not happy any time soon).
Really, I just want the covers to frame and put up on the wall in my writing room as encouragement!
Janga - I may do the MBA in the future, and I'm not sure if I'd do the ceremony again, but it would be darn tempting. There will never be any PhD letters after my name, so that's nothing to worry about. LOL! The only thing I think would have made the day a bit better (besides nicer weather) was if I'd known the other graduates. We shared the ceremony, and we were mostly all adults with kids and jobs so we all understood the experience, but we didn't really *know* each other.
Now you must tell us what other story ideas you're considering. Maybe we could help you decide!
You totally rock, Ter!!!! I am so excited for you. I think now that you've got that monkey off your back you're gonna just fly. Your life has gotta feel like one big sigh of relief now. Enjoy it!
Hal - I know exactly how much I'd need to pay off my student loans and if I could do that, I'd be on cloud nine. No quitting the day job for me, but if I got a little extra to pay off the car, GOLDEN!!!
Irish - Thanks so much. It is a HUGE relief. I remember during the ceremony, this voice in my head kept saying, "We really did it. We really made it all the way through. Who'd have believed it?" LOL!
Well, while I'm practical, we live without debt. So with no outstanding bills to be paid, I can sock it away so hopefully I can get close to quitting my job once I get an advance and work on getting more. LOL
But I don't think about those things. It's hard enough to think about there will be a day when I actually write a full book and have to market and query. Two things I'm guaranteed to suck at.
Sin - Don't be silly, you have us pirates to help you market and query. That's like a secret weapon right there. :)
Bo'sun! Course you'll have wisdom ta share, ya have it now! I think the ways I sees it...I'm not likely ta be a name known by strangers, but I'd like ta be a name known by those who do what I do.
And because I was talking about my secretive nature earlier, I go and read my horoscope for the day and what does it say?
It appears that you are becoming involved in something that is secretive or in the background today, Sagittarius. Although you are generally extroverted, your job or personal life may require you to do something without the knowledge of another, or that disguises their involvement. Nevertheless, there is plenty of fun you could be having today, but your responsibilities have priority. If this is a strategy to gain the praise of others, it will work even better than expected, and possibly surprise you more than it surprises others.
Sorry I'm so late today. :)
First, CONGRATULATIONS Ter! Graduation is a huge accomplishment. We're all so proud of you.
Writing The End, huh? I'm like Hal. When I finished the first one, I floated around for about a day. It's a great feeling, doing something that only a handful of people do. This past time, though, I felt good for about a half an hour and immediately started revising. I'm still revising, but I think when I finish revising I'll feel good.
I think when I'm done revisions on this, when I finally look at it and go, I'm not doing anything else with it, I'll feel good. I never got to that point with my first MS.
yeah, I never got to that point the first time either, so it's still just kind of sitting in limbo and gathering dust under the bed. But I hope that after revisions with this one, I'll have that "ahhh" feeling where I'm *done*
Wow, Sin. So, as a fella' Sagittarian I need ta be on alert for demands of a secretive nature... ;)
Congratulations, Terri! You should feel very proud. When I wrote the end, I felt down. I was like now what? Oh, yeah, revisions, double damn! I'm still working on those revisions. I'm not sure what to expect once I get published, but I'm sure it will be overwhelming in every way imaginable.
I really like this part... If this is a strategy to gain the praise of others, it will work even better than expected, and possibly surprise you more than it surprises others.
Still tryin' ta figure it out, but I like it!
Me? A praise junkie?! Well, sorta...
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry. I JUST woke up again! And I'm freaking starving. I'll be back in a few minutes and try to catch up!!
Okay, not as much to catch up on as I'd hoped. I can't believe I slept the entire *%&$@)^ day. Kiddo thought I was going to pick her up after school, which would be right this second. Ain't happenin'. She's going to be so ticked at me. LOL!
Well, ya must 'ave needed the nap!
Yeah, I know I needed it, Chance. LOL! But now I really am hungry. Maybe my body will use up some of these fat stores. LOL!
Hal/Marn - So maybe when you hit the real THE END where it's all done and pretty and ready to go, you'll hit the high for longer? Ya think? And I'm guessing you two are very close to that point. You plan on finishing revisions together? LOL!
Sin - Even the stars know ya be a sneaky one.
Aye, but I be a Sag, too! I wonder what 'er moon sign be...and rising sign.
Congrats again Terri!
What letters do you add after your name now?
To list the big events that I'm proud of is like mapping a route to the summit of Everest. :lol:
Lowest base camp: virgin kiss ... what a sweet memory!
1st base camp: Wicket in first match for county schools... with a googly!
2nd base camp: Married an Angel who took me to paradise.
3rd base camp: PhD and first paid research job .... paid for my first car!
Summit: First visiting Prof post with the associated inaugural lecture....students actually waylaid me afterwards with questions!
Oh and the achievement that I value the highest was defeating Maggie in a drabble contest. That was really something to savour. *grin*
Chance - We already know you're a sneaky ass too. You just distract us with a hug and a little granola comment and we never see the slight of hand.
Q - Technically, I have no new letters after my name. It's just a Bachelor of Business Administration which does not give you a new fancy title. But you have lots of lovely moments there. I can throw in the birth of my daughter. Sometimes it feels like that was the real starting moment of my life.
Then there was the first time really flying solo on the air. Sort of like piloting a plane the first time without the threat of possible death. Though dead air was a fear just as great.
And that's what I tell myself when I need a little shot of confidence in the writing. I think about our mega-talented BB mates who I bested in a drabble or two. We were in pretty good company, weren't we? I even beat Hellie on occasion!
Just saw this on twitter and thought you might like to see that pubbed authors (Larissa Ione) have these same feelings...
@LarissaIone: YAY! Book is done and sent to editor! Always a great feeling. But then...there's a sense of, "What now?"
The birth of a first child must soar above everything Terri!
I was present at the birth of my son but I think I was suffering from anxiety for most of the time. But holding the little chap for the first time. Yep, that was out of this world!
I doubt that I could lift him now though. They grow up so quickly. :lol:
Will the new qualification lead to an automatic pay rise in your present job. I believe that the equivalent in the UK did, at least in the Civil Service.
Hey, remembering all those drabblers, they are all published authors or nearly so. I don't think I ever beat you though! Perhaps that's a good omen. *grin*
Sabrina - That's hysterical and so fitting. We forget when we're working on the first one that there needs to be another one, and another one, and another one. I dread being pubbed almost more than getting pubbed!
Q - Mine is only 10 and I already can't pick her up. LOL! I do believe this will garner me a nice raise next month, but we'll have to see if they deliver on what they promised.
Are you sure you never beat me? I'm certain I fell to the Sirens at some point. :)
Running around the corner to pick up kiddo. Be back in a few!
*hand in the air, waving madly
I said that earlier! What Sabrina posted! Now what? In me first post! I know that feeling. I get it over and over again. Finished, yea! Followed by a sense of being lost and terrified... Yup. Now what!
Sabrina, are ya goin' ta RT?
No RT for me this next year unless I'm ready to pitch! I learned so much and met the best people (yeah totally sucking up) but I realized you and Maureen were right - you really need to be there to pitch.
I need to get down and dirty with the writing (Hence NaNo)and just put my focus there. All those fun panels are great, but it's time to write.
That said, I'm going to kick myself in the arse to try to be ready to pitch by then. :) Yeah right...let me dream for a little bit.
You could do it! I can nag you. I'm very good at naggin'...
How many pages ya write today, Sabrina?
Where is the story goin', Sabrina?
Tell me about the plot so far, Sabrina?
How many pages ya write today, Sabrina?
I'll set up a program on me e-mail and blast ya every day!
I do like ta help... ;)
It's a great place ta pitch, Sabrina. So wait and see... We'll be there ta hold yer hand if ya decide ta come... Jane, Willi, me...who knows who else at this point!
Cheerin' for ya!
Okay so I'm still writing in "character" from last week...brain needs to function better today!
You really can't help yourself, can you, Chance? LOL! Sabrina, I'd say with that coming out of your inbox everyday, you're a shoe-in to hit 50K.
LOL! Thanks - just don't make me walk the plank - but nudging emails are always welcome!
Ooooo! Ya heard 'er, Bo'sun! She gave permission fer me ta nudge...
BTW Chance - Smart Bitches has two interesting posts today abotu book trailers and how the best ones are those used to market the book to publishers/publicists, etc. thought you migh tlike to check it out.
Aye. I really should program in a character ta nag meself! Jane-o and I be plannin' on some mutual naggin'/support come November. Not sure about the big nanomoropho thingy, but ... sigh ... I need the help, too!
I know!
OK, Sabrina...you internet queen. I'll see if I can steer meself over ta the website. I do want ta do that video book pitch... Jus' blew outta me head wit' all the travelin' and husband bein' outta town... Sigh.
I will happily nudge anyone who wants it - and if any of the pirates need fresh eyes/new reader I'd be happy to let you know what I think.
I'm your witness, Chance.
Sabrina - You will definitely be on my list of beta readers, no worries there.
Off to belly dance class. This is the first clas of level 2. Wish me luck!
LOL! Ter, I am not sure if Hal and I are going to finish revisions together. We've sorta tracked one another up til now, so maybe, yes?
I hope that I follow her right into signing an agent contract. :)
Congratulations, Terri!!
I have a critique group on tuesdays, so most of my writing is done on monday, just so I have something. So, yeah, I think daily emails would be a good thing.
I was considering going to RT for the signing-it's only a couple of hours drive.
Di
If ya come, I'll be there, Di R. Always willing to show someone around...
Hey there, Di. Thanks for the congrats and I do encourage you to check out the signing. I went to the RT one in Pittsburgh in '08 and it was a blast.
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