Inside the Author’s Studio (with apologies to James Lipton)
In keeping with the Revenge’s anniversary (and because Scuttles are lazy butts), I’ve made off with one of my favorite interview segments of a popular show. J Perry Stone--author extraordinaire, selfless philanthropist and fabulous cook--has been gracious enough to sit in the hot seat as I pummel her with my ill-gotten gains … uh questions.
So, without further ado, let’s begin. And pay attention because you’re next.
SB: What is your favorite word/s?
JPS: I’m partial to “The End.” I also like “Oh God” for the exact same reasons ;)
SB: What is your least favorite word?
JPS: “No.”
SB: What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
JPS: Optimism, generosity and open minds. I also like wine, but that only works for the emotional part.
SB: What turns you off?
JPS: When people aren’t open to solutions. I have some relatives who say, “I can’t”, ”She can’t”, or “We can’t” to every damn thing. Makes me want to rip my hair out. I even hate a hint of the same attitude, and in another language. C’est pas possible. Seriously. Shoot me now!
SB: What is your favorite curse word?
JPS: sonofabitchmotherfuckershitdamn. What can I say? I’m a greedy curser.
SB: What sound or noise do you love?
JPS: The garage door opening—husband is home, the oven timer buzzing—dinner is ready, the kids giggling—they aren’t fighting, the cat purring—speaks for itself, the TV clock counting down—24 is on, and Christmas carols.
SB: What sound or noise do you hate?
JPS: The sonofabitchmotherfuckershitdamn alarm clock. And also, the kids fighting.
SB: What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
JPS: I already know I’m a good teacher, but I think I’d also make a great travel-for-a-living-pick-up-cool-tchochkes-for-an-import-business person. Is there a name for that? Tchochker?
SB: What profession would you not like to do?
JPS: Without question … Scatology.
SB: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
JPS: “That’ll do.”
Now you. Copy and paste the Lipton questionnaire in the comments section and answer for yourselves.
What is your favorite word?
What is your least favorite word?
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
What turns you off?
What is your favorite curse word?
What sound or noise do you love?
What sound or noise do you hate?
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
What profession would you not like to do?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Books by the Crew
56 comments:
What is your favorite word?
Yes
What is your least favorite word?
No
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
The beauty of the natural world.
What turns you off?
Screaming children (especially at Starbucks while I'm writing...)
What is your favorite curse word?
Shit (I'm simple that way. ;) )
What sound or noise do you love?
It's a draw between a squeaking dog toy and the sound of flowing water. (Waves, waterfalls...)
What sound or noise do you hate?
Screeching brakes followed by a crash. (Though ambulance sirens tend to give me the shivers...naturally so.)
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Forest ranger.
What profession would you not like to do?
Did it, telephone operator.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
She opens her arms, smiles and says, "What would you like to do next? Your choice!"
JP, what a fun idea!! :) And I'm up so late I'm the first!
What is your favorite word? How about words? I love you Mommy.
What is your least favorite word? Why. (My son's two).
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Possibility. And happiness.
What turns you off? Negativity.
What is your favorite curse word? Right now I avoid swear words at all cost (I live with a human parrot) so the worst I say is Jesus, which I've convinced my son is actually "Cheese Stick."
What sound or noise do you love? Laughter, particularly from those I love.
What sound or noise do you hate? Crying.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Hmmmm.... Maybe a CEO or something? It'd be nice to hang around all day, telling folks what to do and not really working myself.
What profession would you not like to do? Janitor? General toilet bowl cleaner?
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Good job"
Great blog JP. Brief and to the point!
What is your favourite word?
Adore...as in "I adore you"
What is your least favourite word?
Hate.... as in "I hate you"
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Great Sex with Scotch
What turns you off?
Slap stick
What is your favourite curse word?
Pillycock, or anything Anglo-Saxon!
What sound or noise do you love?
Roar of car engine starting first time
What sound or noise do you hate?
Windows 'error' sound
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Agony Aunt columnist
What profession would you not like to do?
Arts critic
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates
Welcome home lad
Chance, I believe that the Almighty is masculine. He created man in his own image!
Marnee, I like it. Good Job!
What is your favorite word?champagne
What is your least favorite word?beer
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?reading Georgette Heyer
What turns you off?watching the news
What is your favorite curse word?Bollocks
What sound or noise do you love?ocean waves lapping on the sand
What sound or noise do you hate?chainsaws
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?shabby chic antique shop owner (JP, you can be my supplier)
What profession would you not like to do?brain surgeon
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Do you want fries with that?
2nd, I understand the turn off of screaming kids. You have no idea how much I understand.
Your hate noise scared me, and solely because I understand your POV.
Marn, yeah, "Why" gunches me up too. Oy. And I'm so with you on the "general toilet bowl cleaner."
Q, "Great Sex with Scotch" HAS to be your epitaph. Promise? H
ere lies Quantum, who had copious amounts of great sex with scotch.
And I hate the Windows error sound too.
(Also, do you say this shit--"Chance, I believe that the Almighty is masculine. He created man in his own image!"--just to get us going? I'm suspicious now ;)
Dammit, Maggie. I'm so mad I didn't say "Do you want fries with that?" for my last question! And yes, I'll be your supplier.
What is your favorite word? massage (spoken with an accent)
What is your least favorite word? the c word for vagina (I can't even bring myself to write it down)
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? humor
What turns you off? intolerability
What is your favorite curse word? To use myself - Shit. To hear - Bloody Hell.
What sound or noise do you love? My husband's laughter / my children's laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? breaking glass
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Used bookstore owner
What profession would you not like to do? Anything medical
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You pass!
That "used bookstore owner" didn't wound right. I think it would be - an owner of a store that sold used books. :)
Love this!
What is your favorite word? Minion - I know what that says about me, but I think it's a hilarious word!
What is your least favorite word? No
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Laughing
What turns you off? Fake/Catty People
What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
What sound or noise do you love? My dogs begging for a treat, the hubby humming, rustle of leaves
What sound or noise do you hate? I second the screaming children! Also, motorcycles, techno music and the voices of annoying people who think they should be the center of attention.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? This one is hard - would love to own a bookstore or be a pastry chef. Oh, and a librarian.
What profession would you not like to do? anything with numbers and work I have to take home - I want a job that stays at work where it belongs.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Your Mom and Dad are waiting for you just over there.
Way funny, Scuttlebutt. Will answer your questions...since I know what you'll do if I don't.
What is your favorite word? Yeehaw.
What is your least favorite word? My three names run together as one word: it means I'm in trouble or someone from high school has seen me. Either case, it makes me want to hide.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? MUSIC. Music speaks to all those things for me.
What turns you off? The inner critic and well-intentioned criticism (you know, the kind from close relatives)
What is your favorite curse word? Fuck. Without a doubt.
What sound or noise do you love? My friends' laughter.
What sound or noise do you hate? My ex brother-in-law's voice. It seriously pisses me off. I mean, they divorced like 20 years ago--yo MF, that means you're no longer part of this family so stop hanging around here.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Teaching. (I'm SOOOO kidding.) Sometimes I think I'd like to *HELP* run a B&B or be a chef. I'd also like to help make movies.
What profession would you not like to do? Whoever has to clean out portapotties. UGH, nasty. I also wouldn't have to be one of those lab people who have to process blood or urine. *shudders* There are a LOT of jobs I'm glad I'll never have. (Like teaching.)
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"You lucked out; I pulled some strings." (Which is ironically what I tell a lot of students who turn their applications in late: "You're lucky, but I pulled some strings."
JP, that was awesome. Loved the interview.
What is your favorite word? f*ck
What is your least favorite word? diddo (I f*cking hate that word with a passion.) All it reminds me of is dildo and if you're going to use that word, the very least you can do is use it in the right circumstance.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? sarcasm
What turns you off? whining
What is your favorite curse word? Um, didn't I cover this already? F*ck
What sound or noise do you love? The wind blowing through the leaves, the sound of water rushing in a stream. Sometimes the sound of someone snoring, but you have to find me in the right mood to appreciate that. Music blaring and the sound of laughter.
What sound or noise do you hate? Crying. Whining. Hateful screaming.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Well, since I can run an office with my eyes closed and hands tied behind my back, I'm pretty set on trying to conquer writing with the same ability.
What profession would you not like to do? Gynecology.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Sh!t, what are you doing here?
Q wins the provoking prize for the day.
This is so fun. I can totally hear James Lipton's voice when I read these questions.
What is your favorite word? Periwinkle. Isn't that just a fun word?
What is your least favorite word? inferior.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Reading Jenny Crusie books or total honesty and vulnerability.
What turns you off? Conceit
What is your favorite curse word? It's more a phrase. Fuck me running. I love that one. And I say shit far a lot which is how they say shit fire in AR.
What sound or noise do you love? I don't know much about it but there's something amazing and soothing and stirring and just gorgeous about classical music.
What sound or noise do you hate? A baby crying when it's that real cry. Not the "I'm upset I'm not getting what I want" cry, but the real thing.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I want to host a late night talk show. I love interviewing people.
What profession would you not like to do? Anything to do with the law.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "You're the only one who got it. Thanks for renewing my faith in mankind."
Gosh, answer questions? “I can’t”, ”She can’t”, “We can’t” .... :)
I think Jules is wanting to snatch the "Most Provoking Award" from Q's hands. I think there should be a showdown.
Is this going to be like one of those celebrity death matches? Can I ring the bell? Or are you going to make me be the ring girl?
Q would win on the merits of knowing The Most amazing Anglo-Saxon cuss words. I'm in awe!
Plus ... he's always Talking about scotch ... But never offering Me a glass, Talk about Provoking!
Of course I AM a woman... so being Provoking comes naturally to me!
Oh, for fun!
What is your favorite word? Words, "Don't have a bad night, just have a good night." (What my son says to me nightly after I tuck him in to bed.)
What is your least favorite word? Words, "Oh, Missy." (Said on a long, disappointed sigh from my mother.)
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Changing weather or nature; storms, first snow fall, sunsets.
What turns you off? Hearing, "Oh, Missy."
What is your favorite curse word? Crap! Not sure if that counts.
What sound or noise do you love? Laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? Most loud children's toys. I'm certain they are invented by people without kids or given as gifts from relatives who think it's funny to push me over the edge of a nervous breakdown. Many times I've had to explain how a gift for my child "broke" or got "lost".
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Archeologist
What profession would you not like to do? Anything medical
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Come back later.
Now I'm picturing Sin in that get up from the cover yesterday holding up round numbers and walking around the deck. LOL!
My mama looked at the cover yesterday and said, "Damned if she doesn't look a little like you." I don't see it. I don't look like that. And there ain't no way my ass is wearing that and walking around in a ring where Jules is gonna be death matching it up with Q. People would be videoing that for YouTube.
Think of it as helping Jules cheat. With you prancing around like that, there's no way Q will be able to concentrate.
He'd probably be throwing up in the corner. And being the compassionate creature that I am, I would have to help him, therefore, Jules would win by default.
"People would be videoing that for YouTube."
Yah SIN, you have to be careful with cameras. Never know whose hands that video or pic could end up in!
LOL. At least your mom wouldn't be shocked. She's used to that sort of behavior out of you.
What a fun interview! Terri's right J; that Lipton tone definitely comes through.
What is your favorite word? joy
What is your least favorite word? not a single word but all forms of hate speech
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? words well crafted
What turns you off? intolerance
What is your favorite curse word? I know I sound goody-two-shoes, but honestly none.
What sound or noise do you love? in-love-with-life laughter
What sound or noise do you hate? screams of rage
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? archivist
What profession would you not like to do? anything in the medical field or accounting
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? two things: “Well done, my good and faithful servant” and “Go join the choir; you can sing in tune now.”
Q - Well, jus' what I'd expect from an anglo-saxon Brit who lives in 'is Mum's basement and dreams about bein' married and drinkin' Scotch!
Aye, I believe a male created ya, Q. Only a he could be so mean!
JP - Yeah, not fond a' ambulance sirens...and I didn't even hear the one that swept me away ta be saved. Least not that I 'memeber it.
The scream I be speakin' of, is that high pitched one that comes outta kids and can shatter glass. And generally seems ta be thought a' as fun. I keep expectin' ta see me computer monitor shudder...
Sabrina - Ain't the sound a' dogs playin' just the most spirit liftin' thing there be?
I do believe I may have to separate Q and Chanceroo today.
What a fun blog.
Maggie, bloody bollocks is my favorite curse word.
I'll have to come back and fill in my answers when I can think of something beyond sleep.
I realize J might think she's getting out of the tough questions. We can't have that.
So, what do you write, tell us about your book, and by all means, don't forget the call story.
Yeah, forget Q, let's force JP ta answer the real questions!
Yes, JP, what is your book about?
JP's book? Its a rip-roaring tale of adventure!
Yes...
She said the word 'rip' and I responded with a "That's tooooo much adventure for my Virginal Ears!"
Make that
I responded with a ROAR “That’s
Chance said: Aye, I believe a male created ya, Q. Only a he could be so mean!
OK I guess I deserve that!
It takes several coffees in the morning before my gallant side emerges. I truly didn't intend to be hurtful Chance, it was just intended as a Que for you to demonstrate that brilliant wit that I have come to respect and admire!
I'm really sorry if it backfired!
Julie said: Q would win on the merits of knowing The Most amazing Anglo-Saxon cuss words. I’m in awe!
Plus … he’s always Talking about scotch … But never offering Me a glass, Talk about Provoking!
Julie I read that word in Kimberley Killion's novel so can't claim any prior knowledge!
If Chance can forgive me and dig out the bottle I would be delighted to share a glass or two. Dammit lets just finish the bottle between us! *grin*
Provoking comes naturally eh! Well it must all be part of the Grand Design. A little provocation delivered with a smile can brighten a fellow's day no end!
Bosun said: Think of it as helping Jules cheat. With you prancing around like that, there’s no way Q will be able to concentrate
Dead right Terri! Are those things called 'Hot Pants'
Phew!!! :lol:
How fun!
What is your favorite word? awesome
What is your least favorite word? moist.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? reading. reading anything
What turns you off? watching TV
What is your favorite curse word? f*ck
What sound or noise do you love? the fryer popping
What sound or noise do you hate? fingernails scratching on polyester
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Owner of a coffee shop/bookstore
What profession would you not like to do? anything that involves cleaning
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Wanna go again?"
What is your favorite word? words. I love you, and believe in you.
What is your least favorite word? No.
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? reading and good music
What turns you off? Being told I'm not good enough.
What is your favorite curse word? I have 2-crabapples, or Jiminy Cricket.
What sound or noise do you love? Laughter of loved ones
What sound or noise do you hate? my kids fighting
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? chef
What profession would you not like to do? anything medical
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome home my good and faithful servant, and Grandpa is waithing for you.
This was fun!
Di
Ter, Hellie and 2nd? SHHHHHHHHH.
The rest of you, as you were ...
Woman! I know where you live. I will pull this ship right up to your front door. Start talking.
Fine.
Historical Romance.
Scavenger Hunt.
Marriage averse hero.
Wronged heroine with killer bod (inspired by guess who??????)
She sleep walks.
By day he's her adversary; by night, her protector.
They're pitted against each other and don't know hunt is a scam cooked up by parents to get them together.
Look for clues in Ireland, Scotland, and N. Wales.
Clues all have to do with marriage, love, or betrothal.
Dirty sex in a sea-cave.
Can I go now?
You forgot the call story. And how long you've been writing. And what's next after this book. Is this a series or stand alone?
Awesome sounding idea, btw. I'm sure someone will hit on a research question for all these locations and where you created the clues from. So you might as well answer that too.
Hang on a sec JP.
Where exactly is that sea cave?
I know N Wales pretty well!
Wow, how long have scavenger hunts been a social event?
Sounds good, JP. Now, the rest!
Q - Ya didn't 'urt me. The Goddess can forgive ya, so can I. I'm sure she'd make sure ya had all the good scotch ya could manage. And the bar always be open, no matter me mood or even if'n I make the ship!
BTW - Maureen is still working on getting her husband to download a PDF maker on her computer so she can send you a copy of her book. Hang in there, Q!
2nd chance - tell maureen there is a free downloadable program that auto turns wrod documents into pdf's. You install it like a printer and click "print" and choose it as a printer and presto pdf.
It's called CUTEPDF - here's the link
http://www.cutepdf.com/Products/CutePDF/writer.asp
My IT guy at work installed it - and he's a software nazi so it has to be safe. :)
Her DH sent her the same link, but she freaked out at tryin' ta install it and had to wait for him ta get home from travelin'. He's home now, but hasn't had a spare minute ta play with her computer. He will!
Maureen's a real weinee when it comes ta computer things she doesn't know!
But thanks!
Hot pants? Are you talkin' about mine or yours, Q?
JP, very intersting! I love scavenger hunts. And I'm very interested in hearing about sex in a sea cave.
My "Fetish Club" series is next, Ter.
Q, Scotland. Kintyre Peninsula off the coast of Campbeltown
As for N. Wales, Llangollen. They need to get to Dinas Bran.
Jules, I nearly choked to death reading your name and virginal in the same comment.
*pulls J aside*
*I* know about the Fetish Club books, but *they* don't know about them. Talk it up!
I can see we're going to have to have that marketing yourself talk again....
Yeah, but I feel like I'm letting them peep under my skirt, Ter.
Do think there's anyone on this ship who hasn't seen up your skirt?
SIN! Don't tell me that I Don't look like the most innocent, Virgina1 innocent that ever walked the face of the Earth.
From the neck up.
When I'm not smiling.
The hell with a peep up the skirt, woman. This is marketing, yer supposed ta flash yer knickers and do the fandango!
Yeah, but I feel like I’m letting them peep under my skirt.
Like You aren't the most Cheeky Wench I know, Ms show yor knickers!
I should tell you though, Ms Stone only shows 'em to freak out her very closest girlfriends ... or so I've heard ... I wouldn't know first hand. Since I'm not One of them! At least not after that last post I ain't! LOl!
Julie - Room with her at a conference, you'll see plenty of the cheeks in question.
So I've heard. If I ever go to a conference I'm bringing a flyswatter ... Or should I say a cheekswatter?
No one can be as late to a blog as I can be, lol.
First of all, I'm flattered that you modeled your killer bod heroine after me. You were talking about me, right? Oh, well, gee...awkward!
Anyway, here are my answers.
What is your favorite word? notwithstanding - I just LOVE these kinds of words. And never mind what they do to me when bracketed by ; and ,.
What is your least favorite word? Stupid
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? watching people interact with other people.
What turns you off? Elitists. Get over yourselves. No one is as impressed with you as you are with yourself.
What is your favorite curse word? G'damnM'f**in'sonofabitch!
What sound or noise do you love? my kids talking amongst themselves.
What sound or noise do you hate? my kids fighting
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? educational psychologist
What profession would you not like to do? retail
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Come on in, they're all waiting for you at the banquet.
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