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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
All the Single Ladies...
Please, if you have to ask me what today's music influence is, obviously I'm not doing my job as a music pusher.
Okay, there is nothing funnier than watching a man who's twice my size do the Beyonce dance to "All the Single Ladies". Seriously. It cracks me up. I don't even have to see him do it now. All I have to do is close my eyes and it's permanently burned into my memory. Sort of like the SNL skit with Justin Timberlake dressed in a leotard and heels doing backup dancing to Beyonce. If you haven't see it, you have to see it on youtube.
Mattycakes is two years older than me. All my past relationships, I've been the younger partner. I'm fond of older men in relationships. Maybe I'm biased. I just think men who are younger just lack the maturity to have the type of relationship I truly needed and wanted with someone while I was young. I somewhat think that's the case when an older man rocks the younger woman. It depends on the type of relationship you're looking for. Let's face it. Most women are looking for a ring. Most men are looking for bed play. I'm of firm belief that about .5% of men actually look for a wife before they end up with one. They don't tick the same way women tock. We get to a certain age and we have mothers who nag us and remind us we're only getting older. Like I don't realize that when I look at the calendar. I know how to count. I may not be the sharpest tack in the box, but I did learn how to count to a hundred. God help the world if I live that long.
Now, with all that being said, and me ruffling up some feathers, because I know I did, let's get down to the dirty dirty. Younger men.
While I never really took advantage of an opportunity to be a cougar (I prefer to be cubbed *grin*) there are some youngins that given the opportunity, I would shove them into a dark corner and hopefully give them an experience they soon wouldn't forget. Even better, if you can ruin a youngin from thousands of miles away. This status is something dear Hells achieved accidently. (I'm so proud.)
This past week I was having a semi-serious convo with Hells which turned to men (all convo's lead to them eventually, and that's not a compliment) and she coined a new term without putting much thought into it. This got me thinking- I always write the younger woman to the older man. Should I write the cougar crush?
I kid you not. Hells coined "cougar crush" on the Urban Dictionary last week (then I heard through the grapevine that Ter wrote another definition of it, which is referenced in the above hyperlink). Hells (and Ter) has always been brilliant but this was an act of pirate brilliance. The "cougar crush" is when an older woman slightly crushes on a younger man. Usually barely out of his teen years and the crush is never vocalized because you really don't want to mess with the hassle but he's pretty to look at and hilarious to talk up.
In my mind, the "cougar crush" if acted upon could end up with the stage fiver clinger status, and while I might speak for myself, generally older woman don't want to deal with that mess. In my own writing, my heroines tend to stay far far away from the youngins.
Dex is three years older than Kiki.
Ruiz is five years older than Kiki. Nine years older than Sadie and Kady.
And Ash is just shy of two years older than Sadie.
Hm, so let's hear it. As a reader, what do you prefer to see? Which way does it fall in your own life? What's some of the tradeoffs from either side? And if you're a writer, what type are you writing? Have any "cougar crush" stories to share? Pirates are all ears today!
Okay, there is nothing funnier than watching a man who's twice my size do the Beyonce dance to "All the Single Ladies". Seriously. It cracks me up. I don't even have to see him do it now. All I have to do is close my eyes and it's permanently burned into my memory. Sort of like the SNL skit with Justin Timberlake dressed in a leotard and heels doing backup dancing to Beyonce. If you haven't see it, you have to see it on youtube.
Mattycakes is two years older than me. All my past relationships, I've been the younger partner. I'm fond of older men in relationships. Maybe I'm biased. I just think men who are younger just lack the maturity to have the type of relationship I truly needed and wanted with someone while I was young. I somewhat think that's the case when an older man rocks the younger woman. It depends on the type of relationship you're looking for. Let's face it. Most women are looking for a ring. Most men are looking for bed play. I'm of firm belief that about .5% of men actually look for a wife before they end up with one. They don't tick the same way women tock. We get to a certain age and we have mothers who nag us and remind us we're only getting older. Like I don't realize that when I look at the calendar. I know how to count. I may not be the sharpest tack in the box, but I did learn how to count to a hundred. God help the world if I live that long.
Now, with all that being said, and me ruffling up some feathers, because I know I did, let's get down to the dirty dirty. Younger men.
While I never really took advantage of an opportunity to be a cougar (I prefer to be cubbed *grin*) there are some youngins that given the opportunity, I would shove them into a dark corner and hopefully give them an experience they soon wouldn't forget. Even better, if you can ruin a youngin from thousands of miles away. This status is something dear Hells achieved accidently. (I'm so proud.)
This past week I was having a semi-serious convo with Hells which turned to men (all convo's lead to them eventually, and that's not a compliment) and she coined a new term without putting much thought into it. This got me thinking- I always write the younger woman to the older man. Should I write the cougar crush?
I kid you not. Hells coined "cougar crush" on the Urban Dictionary last week (then I heard through the grapevine that Ter wrote another definition of it, which is referenced in the above hyperlink). Hells (and Ter) has always been brilliant but this was an act of pirate brilliance. The "cougar crush" is when an older woman slightly crushes on a younger man. Usually barely out of his teen years and the crush is never vocalized because you really don't want to mess with the hassle but he's pretty to look at and hilarious to talk up.
In my mind, the "cougar crush" if acted upon could end up with the stage fiver clinger status, and while I might speak for myself, generally older woman don't want to deal with that mess. In my own writing, my heroines tend to stay far far away from the youngins.
Dex is three years older than Kiki.
Ruiz is five years older than Kiki. Nine years older than Sadie and Kady.
And Ash is just shy of two years older than Sadie.
Hm, so let's hear it. As a reader, what do you prefer to see? Which way does it fall in your own life? What's some of the tradeoffs from either side? And if you're a writer, what type are you writing? Have any "cougar crush" stories to share? Pirates are all ears today!
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cougar crushes,
Quartermaster's Queries (Sin),
Sin
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168 comments:
No cougar crushes here. When I was 5 I was so in love with a professional baseball player. Seriously, I just knew I was going to marry him. I was thoroughly crushed when he married my junior year in high school. I had to destroy my proposal letter. :( I'm pretty sure he was at least 20 years older. I guess the point of that story is that I always had a thing for older men, like Sean Connery. It's a bit ironic that I ended up marrying a man my age (okay he's six months younger).
I've read a few Regencies where the heroine was a a few years older. As long as it's done with class, it's all good.
Hmmm. Someday, mayhaps, I will be confident enough ta seriously partake in a cougar crush. (Which sounds like a delightful drink, now that I think a' it...)
Right now, I see youngsters and want ta be their confidant. Or tease them ta the point a' makin' 'em blush.
When it comes ta serious attraction? Older than me. In me books? Older men, but not younger woman, so much as contemporary woman. No more than 3 years younger, I think.
Now, me DH is six months younger, but I think that were a fluke!
Almost always attracted to men 10-20 years older + than me.
I hvae found that recently a few that were only 5or so years older were catching my eye- *cough* Ryan Reynolds *cough*
I do however love stories with slightly older heroines and younger men. I'm thinking Anyone But You by Jennifer Cruise. Love that book.
When I was younger, I always liked older men. Like Renee, I had one of those crushes I was sure I'd marry. You can imagine my heartbreak when the realization hit that I would never have Joe Elliott all to myself.
But most of the men I've dated (or married...lol) have all been slightly younger. The ex-H is 18 mos younger, and the guys I've dated have ranged from 6 mos to 3 years younger. Three seems to be the magic number.
I've read older woman/younger man stories, Anyone But You by Crusie most recently, and I've written this situation in a short story. In My Anna, Anna has just celebrated her 35th birthday and Max is around 25. I never officially give his age in the story, but he's not older than 25 in my mind.
I need to fix up that story and do something with it. Max is totally sigh-worthy.
Sabrina - we were typing at the same time! LOL! Wasn't that a great book? Fred was so cute, but I'd take Alex in a heartbeat.
What I meant to say is that it's a public service, this tutoring of the younger generation.
I'm like Renee; I married a man almost a year younger than me.
I'm sort of a nondescriminating crusher. I love me some older fellows and I love some of the younger ones. As long as they're hot, I'm on board.
I definitely could see the lure of being the tutor though. A woman hits her 30s and really figures out what it is that she likes. Then, of course, being female and wanting to give back, she wants to spread the information around.
Exactly, Marn. We're giving back. It's part of our generous nature.
*ROTFL* Marnee! Only you could turn a cougar crush into a community service! (Actually not unlike what Dane Cook says in My Best Friend's Girl--only when he says it, he sounds like a jerk, where as you sound like a Volunteer Ad--saying he was going to show her how to do certain sex acts correctly as a community service. She'd thank him later. *LOL*)
I'm like Marn. I'm an equal opportunity crusher. When I was younger, I crushed pretty much exclusively on older men, my favorite being of course, Bo Duke. And I still find John Schnieder wildly attractive. Only when I got to be about 30 and I realized the guys I thought were cute were a couple years younger than me did I realize I was REVERSING. And I also noticed at 30, that I didn't find 50 year olds all that attractive, unless their name was GEORGE CLOONEY. The 50 year olds hitting on me were no George Clooneys. (Granted I don't look like anything George would date, but whatever.)
I notice in celebrity magazines, I can't recognize about 75% of the celebrities featured. And most of the guys look too young. Usually my cougaring stays within a 5-7 year range. Although there is the cutie at the gym who I try to corrupt with cupcakes. How old is he? 17?
I have to make a corrective note: I realize George Clooney is actually only 48. And being I'm 34, he wasn't 50 then either--he would have been 44, which is also not near 50...I have to substitute someone else...perhaps Mel Gibson? I used to think he was very cute (because he got all alcohol-bloated and ranty in public).
Renee, I'm really not cougar crushing anyone either. Though, after Marn just gave a PSA about spreading the education around, sorta makes me feel like I need to go about corrupting youngins from a distance.
It cracks me up about your proposal letter. I'm sure it was not funny to you then (it wouldn't have been to me either). After I watched a movie with Bobby Darin in it one time, I swore I was gonna marry him. Except it didn't register he was already dead.
You thought he was cute when he was bloated or you USED to think he was cute UNTIL he got all bloated?
Harrison Ford might fit in your analogy. :)
I thought Harrison Ford was cute until he married that toothpick.
Yes, yes, I meant UNTIL. Clearly I don't think he's cute now that he's all alcohol bloated and ranty.
You thought he was cute when he was bloated or you USED to think he was cute UNTIL he got all bloated?
ROTFLMAO!! I'm thinking that she meant she used to think he was cute until he got all bloated! As soon as I read that sentence
I have always gone for guys older. And... just like Renee and Marnee married someone younger (by six months). When my friend suggested I date him I said in horror "Isn't he about 2-3 years younger than us!" Since then I've learned that he is actually a mature, responsible adult but just likes to behave like a goofball! (Which was a very hard distinction to make in my younger years!)
I'm like Hellie and do not recognize ANYONE on the magazines these days. I'm very out of touch. And sorry to say but not really crushing on any of them either. I'm still drawn to the older ones!
Okay, note to self - need to finish thought before pressing submit!
I understood Hellie completely but it's the kind of sentence I would have and do type quite often.
Yeah, I liked Harrison but only has he got older. He's much more attractive to me in say Working Girl as opposed to American Graffiti. He really is so unfair how well guys seem to age. (except of course for the bloated and alcoholic Mel!)
You never know with Hellie.
I don't recognize these little dudes on the red carpets these days, either. Though I admit I think Shia Lawhateverhisnameis is cute. And I'm sure I'm old enough to be his mother.
I will always think of Harrison as Han. That when he was the cutest. And maybe the first couple of Indie movies.
I think it was almost more traumatizing when I realized the hottie dudes on TV were my age instead of a lot older.
That's "only AS he got older", and "It really is so unfair..." I really don't think I can blame Harrison himself for how well all guys seem to age.
Clearly I really need to go get some caffeine!
Han Solo is cute, but you have to watch Stars Wars to see it. *grins* I loved him in Witness. *LOL* But he's the best as Indy.
Shia LaBeof is cute, but like in a kid brother sort of way. (He was adorable in the interview on the TODAY show when the girl from the audience brought him coffee and was about to faint because he was talking to her. Hilarious.) Of course, you're a Transformers fan, so maybe you've seen him a little more roughed up and sexy or something--but for me, he's that kid from HOLES.
Actually, I'd like someone ta do the public service on me... I'm not qualified ta instruct, but I'm always willin' ta learn!
Chanceroo, I'll take one of those drinks, if you don't mind.
For me, youngsters just are too immature for their own good. I still think that my minimum for age difference is 2 years older, and that's pushing it. I honestly don't know how my mother married someone two years younger. I'd smothered someone in their sleep.
I suppose what I should've said was that I'm attracted to cockiness and confidence. But not too much. There is this fine line that I like, and it's not the hateful type of cockiness (You will bow at my feet and worship me because I'm awesome cockiness is so not cool) but the type that says that person isn't afraid to walk up, tell you what they are about and let you make up your own mind. It's an alpha trait that I love.
And most youngins aren't like that. Like having the air of mystery surrounding them. Mystery is like a magnet that draws people to you. An eighteen year old isn't going to know how to pull that off.
BTW - That someone would preferably be an older man, older than me, wit' a lot of experience under his belt. ;)
And that Shia guy is hot.
I'm just sayin'. I'd like to attempt to ruin him from thousands of miles away.
Sin - Unless they only look 18, but are actually centuries old. Right?
Cougar Crush, comin' up!
Chanceroo, I also like being the student. LOL
Fck, I'm so lost today.
*heart flutter*
Oh a vamp. I still hold out hopes I can be turned before I wither away.
Wither...wither...wither while we work.
I like that word.
And the bar be open, but the bartender be absent. Hope ta check in later taday, Sin-ister. But fer now, I be off ta meet a dear friend fer some shoppin' therapy!
Sin - You have to realize that in many cases, ten years older is still not enough to find a mature man. :)
Hellie - You've never watched Star Wars? Seriously?! Even *I* watched the first three Star Wars movies. I'm not interested in the more recent three. No Han and all.
Yes, Transformers is what sold me on Shia. I think he has this nerdy, odd charm about him.
I've always had a thing for older men. Though as I get older, the younger ones are getting cuter and cuter. They weren't that cute when I was 17, damnit!
In my current WIP, the heroine is 25, and the hero is well over 40. It's a significant age gap, and I've read it before and sometimes it's worked for me and sometimes it hasn't. But I *think* my heroine is mature enough to pull it off (after all, the story starts with her getting out of jail, and she's been there two years. That'll make you grow up fast). But it's a struggle for the hero that he's attracted to someone who could easily be his daughter.
I haven't read or written the cougar crush (awesome word Hellie and Ter!!). It'd be fun though! I agree - we have to educate the younger generation :)
Have a great time shopping!
And I prefer Harrison Ford as Han as well.
I totally should've put Shia on my nerdy Sunday blog. Okay, he's going up this weekend. Hopefully something with him shirtless and sweaty. And Ryan Reynolds too. Shirtless.
I'm making myself drool.
Sin - I love that alpha cockiness too. There's just something so hot about a man being *that* sure of himself. *sigh*
Amen Hal.
Ranger *sigh*
Ryan Reynolds is one of those who went from nerdy to HELLO! I like confidence, but the cockiness is a fine line with me. That's more apt to make me smother him than melt at his feet.
And Ter, I really wish you'd do something with Anna and Max as well. You did a great job with that story.
Sin - Did you read My Anna? LOL! I've lost track of who has and who hasn't. I did my best to give Max that sense of mystery and confidence you talk about. For a young guy, he really knows what he's doing.
I loved writing that story.
And in all black and looking like he could kill someone with just a look. Arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the brick wall watching from afar.
Hells, I've still not seen that movie. Must see it. That is a line that Matty would use. Smartass man.
Ahh Ranger. With his cocky male swagger and thigh holster. Mmmmm.
You two are going to need some alone time if this keeps up. LMAO!!
Yeah, back when you were trying to finish it up. Now, I wouldn't ask me to quote it, but I did read it. LOL
And he's wearing a hoodie, so he blends into the shadows. You can hardly see him, but you know he's there. Watching. Waiting. Thinking through all the things he'll do when he gets his hands on you...
LOL, Ter. I agree. Ranger gets me all hot and bothered to think about. I have this perfect picture of him in my mind that's just so easy to recall.
Ter, in most cases, you'd be hard pressed to find a man with enough maturity to tolerate long enough for them to die and you to inherit all their money.
Love the cougar crush definitions in the Urban Dictionary!
No cougar crushes going on now, but I've had them. And I have actually experienced the cougar crush definition No. 1 of the guy having a cougar crush (on me!). I hadn't thought about it for a while, but when I first moved back to my hometown five years ago, I met with some old friends for drinks. I had babysat the kids of this one couple when I was a teen, but now their son, a big, tall guy comes in - - the little boy who's all grown up. And then the flirting started. Not by me! The more outrageous he got (not even caring if his parents knew it), the more I'd get uncomfortable and try to remind him in a stern voice that I use to the babysitter! All that did was get more inuendo going. LOL It's been a running "game" or something ever since. The only way I can describe it is that cartoon with the French skunk Pepe LePew pursuing that cat that got a stripe down it's back by mistake! You know the one?
I have to admit it's a flattering and unsettling experience in a guilty pleasure kind of way to have a "kid" of 25 flirting outrageously with you. It's kind of fizzled out in the last couple of years though so I guess he's moved on. *sigh* LOL Darn, I should have stopped running and now it's too late! Kidding! :)
I know exactly what I'd want him to do if he got his hands on me. He could handcuff me to the bed. I wouldn't mind at all.
Oh, I've seen the original Star Wars trilogy, but I'd never rewatch them, unless nagged and promised really good sex later. It's Star Wars...it's...well...not my thing. I don't like sci-fi a whole lot. Aliens and alternate planets and the like--not my gig.
Fantasy--like LOTR--that's like an alternate history. People are riding HORSES that they didn't name something else; there are no hovercrafts or aliens...it's familiar but different. I like familarity.
Melissa, you're so cute. LOL! I always see that stuff as flattering. I remember around the time my marriage was ending, this young kid whose family was sort of friends of our family often looked happier than he should to see me. I think he was 18 (I was 30). I remember he showed up at the house right after the shit hit the fan and I told him we were getting divorced. His eyes actually lit up before he could control his reaction.
It's a good thing I was such a mess or I might have done something really wrong. :)
Oh, I probably wouldn't watch the Star Wars stuff now. Can't remember the last time I watched them. Probably in the 80s. Though I will watch the LOTR stuff. If forced or bored or nothing else is on.
Ryan Reynolds was never nerdy. He was adorable in 3 Guys & a Girl--therefore, he's MINE, I've always adored him. And he's cocky as hell. I love cocky as hell--it amuses me. That sort of confidence is appealing. Of course, it depends on the guy.
*dreamy look* I want to see The Proposal again just to see him naked. Do you know how HARD it is for me not to buy that movie? Do you know how hard it is for me not to be buying movies at all?
I'm in the Sin-boat. She's right. Cocky and confident can be all sorts of fun if played by the right character. You know, the Denzel Washington character as opposed to the Kayne West character.
I watched Ryan on 2 Guys & a girl and he was cute, but he was sort of the goofy one. I sure didn't see him as the next hottie movie star. He sort of grew on people, I think.
And you can't lay claim to all of them. LOL!
Ok soyou want to talk LOTR - then you have to talk Viggo...that is one awesome hunk of man. I happen to like him even mor ein other roles, but holy crap he's got it.
BTW - other day hubby walks in and asks - "Netflix is telling on you."
Confused I asked, "What are you talking about?"
"You're all hot and heavy for this dude Ryan Reynolds. You can't add 3 movies with him at the top of the list and think I won't catch on," he said laughing.
DAMN NETFLIX. Ruining my fun. :)
Terri, there is always time to do something really wrong. LOL
All I can say is I kinda daydream about, when I go back to school, that college might be a cougar friendly environment. :)
Yes, I can. Captain
Oh, and I LOVE the cocky. Totally addicted to it - a not so good looking man can be confident and cocky and I'm instantly attracted.
Agree - fine line between cocky and egotistic.
Ryan is hot. I will give him that and he's got that cocky swagger thing I like, but hm, other than getting hot and sweaty together, it would be a fling for me. He's got blond hair. I'm not into blonds.
Yes! Thank you Sabrina! That was the word I was searching for this morning and my brain would NOT cooperate!
LOL. Damn the DH for noticing!
Melissa! In a way I can totally see how uncomfortable that could be (the Pepe LePew reference cracked me up, loved those cartoons) but wow, if only you could know exactly what he was thinking. Though, how long did you babysit him when he was a kid? Do you think he was cougar crushing you?
Terri, there is always time to do something really wrong.
LMAO!! I'm glad there's hope for me yet.
The word I would chose is conceited. I hate conceited dudes. Which rules out 80% of the male population in this town. The military thing and all.
Hellie - Your cabin is only so big and Jack has marked most every surface available! Where are you going to keep them all?!
Sabrina - BUSTED! LOL!
Now I want to know what three movies are in Sabrina's NETFLIX? *LOL*
Well, of course, we can't carry on in MY cabin. Jack might figure it out. I mean he's drunk, but he's not stupid. We'd do it at Ryan's place, obviously. Or in the hallway. Jack will never think to check a hallway.
Oh, no, not then. I babysat him and his twin sister when he was a baby until they were 4! Yeah, I know it could have an added ewww factor that changed his diapers! LOL But it's funny what a difference a 12 year age gap can be later on at 37 me and 25 him.
As for what he was thinking, I can't imagine it was all that different from what he was saying. That's the thing about a young man who's all cocky and confident. They will say whatever is on their mind! LOL But was he just enjoying my discomfort? Probably! Would he have lost his bravado if I called him on it? I sure wasn't going to test it! LOL
Melissa - You have to call his bluff. LOL! And if you're lucky, he's not bluffing. ;) (We're the same age BTW!)
Yes! Call his bluff!
I've been trying to catch The Proposal for the past couple of months. That was the first movie in a long time I really, really wanted to see and missed. I tried organizing a night out with the girls and that really went south - ended up seeing Transformers 2 at the IMAX! Talk about switching gears!
I just got off the phone with my sisters and we've decided to get together tomorrow (in the middle of the day) and watch it! I can't wait.
The DH and I caught Couples Retreat last Friday for date night and I thought that was pretty funny. Another instance where I hardly knew anyone in the cast. Vince Vaughn and Jason Bateman were it.
Terri, actually that "game" started five years ago. So now I am 42. A bit different now. But I still got the "look" when I came across him this summer at the fairgrounds. That look that was a big grin and an inside joke that he remembers. LOL He took one step toward me and I took two steps back and he just laughed. So yeah, it's just a fun thing. LOL
Melissa, that is hilarious! I could barely handle all the flirting stuff when I was young and single. I would definitely blow it big time now. I also blush very easily. Not bad on a teenager, kind of embarrassing on a, er *cough* 40 something year old!
The DH and I had this whole discussion after our movie going experience Friday night. We both concluded that our marriage is very secure. If for no other reason than we really, really don't want to get back out into that whole rat race again.
Very smart of you, Irish. You do NOT want to be out here in the trenches. It's not pretty.
Melissa - You could have gone with it. LOL! We'd let you slide. And you have to stop stepping back. Or at least write a version of the story where you don't. Writing it can't get you in trouble, right?
Yeah, Irish. I can't do the flirting thing either...obviously! LOL Dating is all about making the other person feel great and I'm usually not up to that kind of charm on an ongoing basis. I have my moments but it wears me out. LOL Then it's, now what?
I can flirt with furniture. I inherited it from my dad. But it doesn't get me anywhere. *sigh*
Irish, I think we are long lost twins, or maybe our great grandmothers were. You don't happen to have roots in Donegal do you? . I married a goofball too. And, I loved Harrison Ford in Working Girl.
Melissa, that is too funny.
Terri, on writing a version where she doesn't step back, that to me is like writing an alien. I should try it though. In my stories the hero doesn't stop walking toward the heroine, but it might be kind of interesting if she dares to take that step. :) I could get her drunk first. LOL Now that can work but with consequences. :) Good consequences can happen in fiction. LOL
I love flirting games, Melissa. You could almost write this into a great scene in a book.
It's not in my DNA to step back. LOL! And you could so write this. Even if you just do it in a scene out of nowhere to get it out of your system. Imagine the look on his face when he realizes you might be serious. I'm betting it would be very "deer in the headlights."
LOL!
Which way does it fall in my own life?
When I was younger ... mucho Mucho younger(I've been married since i was 19)I only dated Older Men. So it should come as no surprise that I married an older man. My DH is three years older than me.
That being said ...
In The Real World, at least in My Version of it
Older Men do not hit on me. Older Woman yes, men, no! WTH?
LOL. Jules you got the sort of swagger that brings everyone to the yard to play. LOL
Hm, interesting. When I was younger, I would've been the person to take a step back if someone took a step towards me. Now, if someone takes a step towards me, they better fully plan to follow through because I'm either going to grin and crook a finger or I'm going to walk towards them and shove them into a wall and have my wicked way with them. LOL
Melissa, I can't wait to read this scene!
Swagger? I think that the word "bounce" would be more appropriate. Add to that the fact that I walk around completely oblivious to my surroundings … which makes people think that I’m Mysterious.
Truth is … I’m Clueless people! Plus I look younger than I am. I was still getting carded at age 38. So I don’t think that these young things actually realize that I’m Old Enough to be their mother.
Not only is it in my DNA to step back ... its in my DNA to RUN LIKE HELL!
Hush Sin!
Great, now I have "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." playing in my head.
Thanks, Sin. LOL!
Thank goodness I don't get hit on by women. I have enough complexes.
Sorry if you've read this before, but
A. I'm a very lazy writer.
And B. I thought that this ol' post gave an interesting perspective from an Older Woman's POV.
Cugars?
Honestly? Do you want me to be honest about this?
Cougars might "look" like predators. The truth is they are in fact ... the Prey.
At least that's been my experience. The first time I got hit on by a younger man was when I was 39. He was 22. I said "no”. Not that I'd ever accept the invitation to be A Cougar. And Not because I have something against younger men. I'm happily married, thank you very much. So I say 'no thank you" and tease them with a "Does your Mother know that you’re out after your curfew?"
That Usually cools their jets. And its nicer than saying “F**k off Bozo!”
Honestly? I thought that this pursuit by young things would stop as I aged. But it hasn't. It actually seems to be getting worse the older I get. This seemed ... well ... really weird to me.
Until I thought about it.
The Older I get ... the less I care ... not just about my looks, but about partaking in all of the trivial blah-blah-blah BS that Drives men CRAZY. Men, especially young men, get tired of all "the drama" associated with women their own age.
That's The Truth.
I know because I have a 27 year old son. I've heard many a horror story from him & his friends about dating young women. This is why (IMO) younger men seek out the company of older, wiser (which ... hey ... means that I know a lot more "fun" things to do than my younger compatriots) less emotionally demanding, mature woman. Sorry. But Young woman can't compete with me ... They're Bud Lite. And I'm like a bottle of thirty year old scotch. Smooth. Mellow. And ummm ... very, very Intoxicating! LOL
"Thank goodness I don’t get hit on by women."
I do, and have absolutely No Idea Why. The last time it happened was at a mega builders supply store. My DH had to explain it to me.
Him: "She's a lesbian. See that tattoo? Anddd She’s hitting on you.”
Me : “Oh! That explains why she keeps flexing her biceps at me… I thought that maybe her shirt was itchy.”
LMFAO Jules, you crack me up.
Awh, Ter. I'll hit on you. I'm harmless. Really. *grin*
And referring to yourself as mellow takes the cake.
Maybe it was because I had on 'full make-up' and wore hiking boots. Well... Technically speaking they were Mountaineering boots.
LOL! This reminds me, my daughter turned to me last night and out of nowhere asked if I know what combat boots are. As a reflex, I asked, "Why? Did someone say 'Your mother wears combat boots?'"
She explained it was from a Hannah Montana episode. These weird statements out of nowhere are going to be the death of me.
BTW - I win the mom of the year award this week. Kiddo lost a tooth and since I didn't know until I picked her up from school, I didn't have any cash smaller than a $20. So I gave her her own $5 bill. LOL! She had no idea.
The poor kiddo. LOL
$5 is a hella lot for a tooth. Can you hook me up if I yank one out? Or maybe yank one out of Hells mouth and pass it off as my own?
And her dad started the $5 stuff. She lost a tooth during the summer once and I was ticked that they set the Tooth Fairy standard so freaking high.
I was lucky to get a quarter!!!
Ha! On the crazy things kids say, my son really got me. He loves watching Two and a Half Men and doesn't get much of the sexual inuendo (thank goodness), but a scene was on where Alan's girlfriend's mother was coming on to him and she says "do you know what it does to a woman when she hasn't had sex?"
And Michael looks at me all curious and says, "What does it do, mom? Do you know?"
Geez! I mean, it was an innocent question.
I think I just snapped, "No, I don't."
Well, I did change one of my $20s yesterday and give her the other $5 last night. I'd convinced her I had her original $5 in my purse so she wouldn't lose it. Sometimes it comes in handy that she's blonde.
I think I wound up having to come clean about the tooth fairy when my son questioned me about the IOU under the pillow. LOL
I think I just snapped, “No, I don’t.”
And that explains what happens to a woman when she doesn't get sex.
My kiddo is slightly catching onto things these days. She actually took herself out of Spencers over the weekend. She's very good at policing her own situation.
Renee, not Dongal, Tipperary (on my father's side)and Tyrone (on my mother's). I think you may be right, though - Sean Connery has also been one of my girlhood crushes! LOL
A couple of years ago, my daughter put her tooth under her pillow and didn't tell us. Finally about 3 days passed and she came storming downstairs complaining about the tooth fairy. That night my DH typed up a little note from the tooth fairy saying she had the flu and sorry for the oversight (complete with a picture of a little fairy and everything). The next morning she comes downstairs with the note in her hand, looks at us both and says very sarcastically (don't know where she gets that from) "Seriously?!" Then she says "You know, I've got about 12 more teeth to lose, I'm alright with playing along as long as the cash keeps coming!" We only give a buck.
If I had my druthers, I'd only give a buck too.
I'm kind of amazed Kiddo still thinks there's a tooth fairy. Either I'm a better actress than I think I am, or she's letting me *think* she still believes.
BTW - I feel bad for shifting Sin's blog about fine, young hotties to the tooth fairy. Totally my fault.
How about that Zac Ephron? I admit to having a Cougar Crush on him after seeing 17 Again.
Definitely Mellow, SIN. At least I am When compared to my sisters! LOL
I meant my public service announcement for "the Single Ladies" of course. My tutoring days are behind me, thankyouverymuch.
My additions...
I love Han Solo.
Ryan Reynolds is mine, back of Hellie.
Melissa, your baby-sitting story cracked me up. LOL!!
And Ter, I love Zac Ephron too. I admit to watching all the High School Musicals. *hangs head*
I can't watch the HS Musicals. In that 2nd one, he does that dance on the golf course or something and it's the gayest thing ever. LOL!
But did you see him as Link in Hairspray? So cute.
Topic Transition #47 of the Day: Hey, anyone who lives in a bordering Missouri state (or in Missouri, whatever) who is NOT going to Nationals more than likely and would be up for a road trip if cheese dip were promised?
I didn't see Hairspray yet. I should watch that...
OKay, Julie, since you said it, I was wondering the same thing. Older women hit on me. AND, they seem to much bolder about it. AND, the three that have blatantly asked me about hooking up (none of them had I known) couldn't take their eyes off my chest. I no longer go to the dance club where I got hit on, but now I'm weary about going to my favorite restaurant.
Did Hellie just post a personal ad? LOL!
Marn - You need to watch it. I keep meaning to buy the soundtrack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SWJrvToes0&feature=fvst
Topic Transition #47 of the Day: Hey, anyone who lives in a bordering Missouri state (or in Missouri, whatever) who is NOT going to Nationals more than likely and would be up for a road trip if cheese dip were promised?
Did I miss something?
Seriously, I love when we topic transition all day long and don't feel bad Ter, I love when we bounce around from one thing to the next. Keeps things going around here and not stuck.
Topic Transition #47 of the Day: Hey, anyone who lives in a bordering Missouri state (or in Missouri, whatever) who is NOT going to Nationals more than likely and would be up for a road trip if cheese dip were promised?
Well, we already know how I feel about the idea. At least Hells does. *LOL* Alcohol, cheese dip, mad laughing about writing and lots of writerly fun. Who's down?
But she hasn't said where the roadtrip destination is. LOL! I think she's talking about Chicago, but not sure.
Or is Hellie throwing her own writer get together and the destination is Missouri? If that's the case, I'm very irritated that only bordering states are invited.
No, Hells and I discussed that we wouldn't be able to afford SF 2010 this next year so we've decided to do our own thing.
Dude, fly out here and stay. It ain't like you don't have a place to crash. LOL
Party at Hellion's? Do I have to bring hors d'oeuvres? Or is my Mellow Presence enough?
For that, I'd even let you stay in the batcave with me.
You walk in dressed like a yellow vibrator and that will be present enough.
And Renee ... I don't know what to tell you. You could talk for hours ... days ... years ... about What attracts one person to another.
I . In my case it could be my figure ... or it could be that i look so ... Mellow!
Do you mean a BOB or the actual real thing. Because sometimes, the BOB is more attractive than the real thing.
Ttttterriiiiiii ! MY COMPUTER did a Thingie with my post before I was done. The Bugger
What did I do?! LOL! Why is she yelling my name? I swear, I didn't touch your computer.
Tell me you're doing this April 5-9. Pleasepleasepleaseplease...
Where did the yellow vibrator come from? I'm so confused. LOL!
Okay. Maybe I'm not so mellow. Which is good. Esp after reading that definition on Wikipedia.
Your computer prematurely commented?
*laughing*
Yah. I had a ...
A premature talking-smack-ulation.
We can do it whenever the hell we want to. LOL
Kiddo's spring break is April 5-9 and she has to be over there to spend it with her dad. So, technically, I'd have the week to myself and I really need to fly her over there (she won't fly alone). This could work.
Not that I expect anyone to work around my schedule. *cough*
Yeah, but it possibly could work if Hells would stop fcking working and get back to the blog. You know, the important thing in life. LOL
Oooh, a Pirates Writers' Conference in April. Wouldn't that be a hoot? *LOL* But it's whenever Sin & I can arrange it.
Hey, one of the writer field trips can be to the Old Un!
Ter, you didn't miss the vibrator convo. Jules and I were having it privately but then she referred to it here and I couldn't resist typing the word vibrator.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mellow_Yellow
Here, Terri. I was thinking that I was Mellow ... like the drink Mellow Yellow. You know. Extra Sweet. Bubbly. Cool. And then I read the pat that began with "According to The Rolling Stone Illustrated Encyclopedia of Rock and Roll, he admitted later the song made reference to ..."
Right beside my work! Fabulous! We can have a field trip.
To Whome It May Concern:
The email began with my telling SIN that I considered my self a mellow person. As in relaxed. Chillin'. I wrote:
"Definitely Mellow. In fact I'm starting to Wonder if looking Mellow is my problem. (With women)
Then I gave her the info that I got from Wikki.
Surprising to say the least.
WHOM
And to Renee;
Renee I've figured out What our problem IS!
We look Mellow! LOL
Chillaxin- that's the word you were looking for Jules. To chill and relax.
Chillaxin
Sounds like laxitive!
I was just thinking that. A laxative for chillin'. Better not slip it to DH's or they will never get their asses off the couch.
I'm considering making a trip to Excelsior Springs. My local writer's group does a writing retreat there sometime in March. I'm trying to talk Terri from RRT to write an interactive play revolving around Al Capone and Ghosts.
Y'all let me know where and when and I'll see if hubs will unchain me. I might have to pull some pirate operatives on him.
Y'all need one of those fancy buttons. You know the kind where I can grab the code and put the image on my blog. Hint, hint. Yeah, I've gotten button happy, but they are just so much prettier than linked words.
Hm, I like buttons. I wonder how we get one.
I'm real sneaky. I can get you out of anywhere without anyone finding out.
A button? *blank look* I'm sorry, I'm Amish and we don't use buttons. Now I might be able to hook you up with a straight pin.
*laughing*
I adore you Hells.
Hm, I'm reading the tutorial on blog buttons. I could design us one pretty easy.
Buttons are easy!
http://cheekywench.blogspot.com/
See, you can see the button.
Okay, I put a button on my Cheeky Wench blog, that brings us back to RWR (using the pic I have up in our Tortuga groups).
I cannot figure how to add a button to the Word Press site, because Blogger is more user friendly than Word Press is. *sighs* I'm afraid to "edit" HTML in our template for fear of clusterf*cking the whole shebang.
Okay, these instructions pretty much rocked. http://www.ehow.com/how_4891649_button-text-box-underneath-code.html
Okay, I had to substitute instead of a direct link, the HTML formatting for the pictures, but otherwise it worked like a dream. With only a minor glitch in making the picture the right size. That took the most time.
Of course I had to go check out Hellion's new thingidybob. I mean Really. Who could resist the chance to push Hellion's button! LOL!
WoooHoooo! http://reneelynnscott.blogspot.com/
You rock, Hellie! I'm glad Julie likes pushing your buttons. You can even do a button if you want based off your header that has the ship and the RWR text, but I love the one you made. Looks great.
No idea how to use the header to make a pic and insert that as the button, but I agree that would be WAY awesome. *LOL*
Hellie, on the RWR homepage with your cursor over the header, right click. Save that image to your computer and then upload it into photobucket. You can edit it in photobucket to make it the right size. You can even cut it down if you want. Let me know if you have questions. I don't know much, but I know how to make buttons. LOL
That reminds me, Chancey never came back from shopping. She must be buying out the store!
Oh, I saw the coolest bumper sticker on the way home today. It said, "My other car is a pirate ship." If I can find that, everyone is getting one for Christmas!
Y'all lost me a long time ago. I'll just sit over here with my refilled Cougar Crush drink and observe.
I was wondering where chance disappeared to.
Shopping wabe s awesome? WTF? Shoppin' be awesome...tirin', too!
Shopping wabe s awesome! I bought three pair a' pirate themed panties! And now, I'm sure, everyone be gone. I even wore me new purple pirate coat about the mall. It were a hot shoppin' spree!
And Jane-o got good news after a scary mammogram...so it's been a good day. Even if I ran a red light earlier today and almost t-boned some poor guy. Life flashed before me eyes... Stupid doin' day, also.
I still want an older man ta tutor me!
If'n ya throw a pirate writers weekend, I gots ta figure out a way to come. I'll be headin' toward the midwest fer RT in Columbus, OH... I could figure somethin' out!
Bah! I missed a great day. How come my blogs never hit over 100 anymore! Sob!
Oh, and good for Jane-O and the pirate panties!
LOL! Sounds like it was a good day, Chance. No worries, I slept through my own blog day on Monday. Just fill up on ice so we can have those frozen Cougar Crushes again tomorrow. Those are damn good.
Chance I read yor blog this week. It had me mind a thinkin' and a wondering while I was wandering around All day. Just because I don't say any thing doesn't mean that I wasn't listening to what you said.
I was just being ... quiet. Thoughtful.
And if your wondering how ... why ... such a chatty woman can be so quiet at times ... well that is because ...
I'm
so
Mellow!
One more thing.
Jane-o I'm glad that the news was good.
Good night all,
god bless.
and yes,
I am
finally
done.
*quiet*
Aha! I need ta count me silent commentors...that's what I be doin' wrong!
Chance you need to ... Mellow out! LOL
Sorry.
Couldn't resist.
And I suppose that some one should explain 'the joke' to the poor woman, hmm?
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