Writing On The Edge of a Precipice by J Perry Stone
Ever felt like you were standing on the edge of a huge canyon, staring into limitless darkness? You don’t know what’s at the bottom. You don’t even know if there is a bottom and you certainly can’t see the bottom. What you do know is that the very next step you take will change your life forever.
So how does an artistic person create in times such as these?? This isn’t the same as writer’s block or a drought of ideas. This is when life has shaken you up so badly, you simply cannot focus on the creative task at hand because surely such tasks are meaningless and trivial in comparison to such enormous, looming change.
As much as I’d like to deny it, there is big change in my near future, perhaps geographically but certainly financially.
What’s more, I have a writing deadline that passed in August.
I have basically two chapters to go until I’m finished with my book.
I think it might be safe to say … I am flipping right the hell out. I am pacing, breaking out into spontaneous hot flashes and taking full advantage of over-the-counter sleep and stress aids while what I should be doing is sitting my ass in front of my computer.
But luckily (aren’t you glad there is some light?), I have the example of an incredibly fabulous person to whom I can look up.
This summer, Eloisa James spoke to the writers at the Romance Writers of America conference held in Washington D.C. As everyone knows and most likely agrees, I adore Eloisa’s writing, but it wasn’t until this conference I came to fully understand how much I adore her as a person. In addition to being incredibly talented, hard-working, authentic and down-to-earth, she never fails to do for others even when life is serving her earthquakes.
The gist of her speech this summer was how to use real life upheavals to make us better writers, and how to incorporate those emotions on the page.
James spoke of her daughter’s chronic illness, her husband’s heart attack, as well as the tragic death of her mother. Needless to say, the entire banquet hall was filled with sniffling. I myself felt on the verge of the ugly cry and kept looking to Terri to stop it, but only got her going worse.
In any case, when the low moments hit me and I feel like I’m flailing to the bottom of my precipice (as I often am, of late), I think about Eloisa’s example, as well as her advice.
1) Give my fear to my characters.
2) Recognize my attachment to security and hand it off to my characters.
3) Take advantage of all I truly have going for me right now, and give that lesson to my characters.
4) Write through it all.
You see, it can only turn out positively. Not only will I have finished my book, but my book will have served as emotional catharsis. Everyone wins (including poor Terri who has had to tolerate the barrage of my recent break downs).
So now you. What life shit you going through right now and how can you give that to your characters? Be honest. Show me your ugly cry.
Books by the Crew
76 comments:
And J? Thank ya fer not writin' about sexual fantasies...
Precipice standers anonymous, stand up now! And declare yer toe danglin' fears. Fling yer tears offa that cliff and watch 'em sink ...
Lord love a duck. (New favorite nonsense.)
First ya fall and then ya fly. OK. Me shit. Got home from Mom's... I do love her, but three weeks without me home territory, actin' the cheerleader(a part I am not cut out for, trust me...)... Laying in bed each night wit' fingers at me pulse, half convinced that me heart was going to crack open. Repeating to meself over and over again, "My ICD won't let me die..."
Come home, two days later me DH leaves for a ten day trip to Rochester, New York. So, home again. And glad, but still findin' those fingers dancin' at me pulse each night.
Thank God for Ativan.
How am I givin' that to a character? Well, me nasty stress reduction story has taken a turn toward actually interestin'...not just nasty...and I'm thinkin' me heroine needs some fear a' death without havin' lived fully...
(Last Chance? I know yer readin' this and gettin' worried 'bout me. I'm OK. Least I'm livin' me dreams, not me nightmares.)
Hang in there, J Perry. Even shit is fuel for the compost pile. ;)
Hells Bells! You poor thing JPS
Afraid I'm in heaven at the moment, trying to connect my MP3 player to my NEW CAR stereo.
Sorry, no help from here.
I have heard however that 'Love conquers everything' and sex with someone you love can shrink that stress away.
Its like looking through the wrong end of a telescope, if you know what I mean!
Just gotta look on the bright side. That rainbow has two ends. *smile*
I think Eloisa's advice sounds excellent. I hate to say it, because that bus is bound to come right around the corner to run me over when I do, but, apart from a little deadline freak-outs, things are pretty smooth for me right now. My kids are grown, and mostly good,always my most pressing concern. When things were truly tumultuous in our lives, I wasn't writing, or even thinking about doing so.
But to be trite, everything happens for a reason, and you'll figure out a way to take advantage of your changes and stresses, or make chicken salad out of chickenshit.
Perry, first super hugs, girl! Life shit is, well, just shitty. Let me tell you, I've only been writing for about three years. I'd bore you with all my shit, and it'd take a novel to tell it.
Maggie is right. Everything happens for a reason. Shit makes our personal character stronger, and it makes our writing more personal, it puts us on the page. And to be honest, there is more truth of my shit in my manuscripts than anyone will ever know, because it is the ONLY place I can be truthful with certain things.
2nd, how did you know?? I AM worried about you! Have you been to the Dr.? Stress is the worst on hearts, I think.
You and I both need to OOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM.
And I definitely think your character needs that fear of death (because who of us DON'T have that one?)
In times as these, 2nd, sex is the last thing on my mind ....
although, maybe Quantum has a point.
You know, Q, you're actually mistaken in saying "sorry, no help from here." When I read that others are "in heaven at the moment," that makes feel really good. Calms me. Stay in your heaven. I need to know some people are there.
Maggie, my kids are my most pressing fear, as well. I think about a time when I can let go (mine are still young) and feel myself exhaling.
Again, I'm so happy for your calming influence. And thanks for what you called trite. It wasn't. It was right.
Thank you, Renee. I need those hugs. And this is brilliant:
"Shit makes our personal character stronger, and it makes our writing more personal, it puts us on the page."
I'm printing that out right now. Thank you, darlin'!
When the shit hit the fan back in '04 & '05, I wasn't writing. Which is good because I was barely breathing, not sleeping, and running on about two brain cells. Writing never would have happened.
But, if I'd have been on deadline with contractual obligations, I would have had to write. So, this is my theory. You have to think of the writing as a job. I am a single mother and I have go to work if I don't want myself and my daughter to be homeless. There are days (like this morning!) that I don't want to get out of bed. But I have to so I do it.
The writing needs to become a *have to*. Which is tough for me because writing is the only *want to* thing I do. The thing I do just for me because I enjoy it. But the moment you decide you want to be published, a switch has to occur. Writing has to become something you do because you have to no matter what is in the way.
I'm not there yet, but I'm trying.
Before I forget - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Q!!!!!!
1st of all, Ter, thanks for the fabulous pictures and also for fixing my "whom"!
Secondly, you're damn right.
What else is there to say??
Ooo and Happy Birthday, Q. May you get many wonderful things from Mrs. Q -- not necessarily material things either ;)
J change is always horribly frightening because it's so unknown. How can we look forward to a path when we don't know where it's taking us? However, nobody puts us on a path, we always have a choice. And as long as everyone is healthy and safe, look upon your choices as opportunities and go with it as best you can. -- Again, not much help, I know.
Just know that wherever you go, whatever you're doing, you have people around you (physically and virtually) who care and support you!
PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Q !!
Technically, I guess I didn't answer your question. But that's because I don't have an answer. Maybe when I get to my 18th book, I'll be more help. :)
Pish, Ter. You've answered enough of my questions to remain silent the rest of the day.
Happy Birthday, Q!!! *blows kiss, hands him scotch*
JK, you're a doll, you know that? And if there were no virtual support, I'd be dead in the water.
This is gospel to me:
"And as long as everyone is healthy and safe, look upon your choices as opportunities and go with it as best you can."
And you should know, I'm starting to take a little control over the situation (or over me, mostly).
I have a few deal-breaking points that my entire family is now adopting.
Suddenly, last night, I could sleep without help.
When my mom died, I wrote bad, sad poetry or wrote journal entries of my grief...but I don't normally have parents dying in my novels, so I can't channel that specific sort of grief to a novel. There's a difference.
When I got dumped like a year later by a boy I believed, who I was, desperately in love with--it felt like my mother dying all over again but worse in a way. After all, the boy left me by choice and my mother did not. THAT I could channel into my book. Most of us have been dumped at one time or another (Wallflowers, unite.) Most of us have poured our love into someone who didn't love us that way in return. (Team Jacob!) Some of us felt we'd rather die than be without our soul's other half (Team Edward!) Ridiculous and Romeo & Juliet, but that crap, I could put into one of my novels. I think it may still be a while before I could put a dying mother in my work.
J, I don't have any answers either. I do believe that even when the last thread in the rope to which we are clinging begins to fray we find the grace to endure and eventually prevail.
You and yours remain in my thoughts and prayers.
And Happy Birthday, dear Q! May your day be filled with all that your heart most desires.
I do know that feeling of standing on the edge of a canyon. I know you don't mean a physical fear of heights (I have that too, btw), but that panic of not knowing how to stop a fall. You see it coming and every day is delaying the inevitable.
Years ago, in life upheaval that seems like a molehill compared to my last couple of years, a boss was trying to counsel me though an adjustment to a promotion of all things. I was a mess and he was right that it was the CHANGE I couldn't cope with. Although I don't think I appreciated it at the time, he kept quoting from this book, "Who Stole my Cheese?" At the time, I really didn't get it. I wasn't in the mood for an analogy of the "cheese" being whatever is in our life we count on to provide what we need, when we need it.
But I do appreciate it now. The survival instinct.
I can appreciate the misery of those mice screaming out, "no one had a right to move my cheese." I did that too. For the past year I grieved over it's loss and tried to do the impossible to keep it. I moved myself and my son across the country. Nothing worked.
Okay, this is too long, I know. In "Who Stole my Cheese? the mice found discovered that the new "cheese room" wasn't so bad afterall. Nothing would ever be the same again, but there were new opportunities. I'm not so certain I'm at that place. I still long for the old, but in the depths of this grief I did somehow finish my book. My struggle for security is in my characters and in the entire theme. I don't think it's a sad story though. If anything, I really needed their happy ending. :)
Sometimes the fall can't be avoided. But I keep hoping that at the bottom of a canyon there just might be a new "cheese room." :)
No sage wisdom here, either, JP! I'm in the "writing for fun" stage right now, not doing it to get published. As as Terri said there's a world of difference in how you prioritize depending on what you're looking for.
Like you, Terri, I write cause that's my "fun time". There have been way too many "have tos" in my life and up to this point I refuse to make my writing one of them. On the other hand, I'm not looking to publish or for this to be my livelihood. If that were the case I guess just like everything else I would do what needs to get done.
I do agree with Eloisa though, JP. I can't think of another profession out there where you could use all that stress and anxiety to your advantage and put it all down on paper. It's getting your writing done, it's cathartic and if your stress level is anything like most women out there trying to be a wife, mother and run a household it's probably pretty intense, dramatic stuff. Throw in a major move, in-law troubles a few illnesses and you've got a best seller. *I didn't mean to be flip cause I know there is a lot of really bad stuff going down with a lot of people out there, but sometimes I think if I don't make light of it in my own life I'll explode or go postal!*
So, basically I don't have an answer either. LOL My motto for the past 10-15 years has been do what's easy. That works for me because for some reason I always tended to do things the hard way. I had a lot of shoulds in my life and a lot of unrealistic expectations for myself. When I repeat "do what's easiest on yourself, Irish", it all seems to fall into place. So, I'm going to say what may be taboo in the writing world - but if the writing doesn't add to your life right now and you don't NEED to get it done, don't write - concentrate on making your stresses easier on yourself. If you find the writing takes away some of the stress, write. Also I would write what's inside you now even it has nothing to do with your ms. Take a break from the ms if need be and write as therapy not to reach a deadline.
LOL, for someone who didn't have anything to say my post sure was loooong!
Happy Birthday, Q! Have some cake and ice cream on me!!!
Okay, that didn't come out right! Let's just leave it at have some cake and ice cream and enjoy the day!
I *heart* Irish. LOL!
I can out *cheese* Melissa. :) When things get really bad, I think of that song from Annie. The sun WILL come out tomorrow. That's what I learned when everything went to shit. No matter how bad I felt, that orange ball showed up every morning. The world didn't stop. I didn't stop. I eventually took another breath and put one foot in front of the other and just kept going.
You can sit back and freak yourself out imagining all the things that can go wrong. You can play Chicken Little and run around screaming that the sky is falling. But, in the end, the worrying gets you no where and the sky stays right where it is.
Irish, yes, sometimes "writing for fun" is the only way to write. If I can't make light of my own life, somehow I can write in the POV of a character and find the humor. And that in itself makes me laugh. I guess my writing therapy results in happier writing somehow, or at least more optimistic.
Exactly, Terri. Maybe we're both eternal optimists. And being optimistic really pisses me off sometimes. LOL
I don't know if it pisses me off as much as it pisses off other people. LOL!
Oh, I can guarantee it pisses off other people, alright!! :)
LOL, You are just like my DH, Terri. He tackles everything head on and never stops to think about what could go wrong or what the negative outcomes of a situation will be. He figures he'll deal with that if and when it happens. And truth be told, he rarely ever deals with the negatives cause he finds a way to turn them into a positive or laugh them off. I truly think that is a personality thing, but being around someone like that is incredibly helpful when you're an Eeyore like me!
Off to renew my driver's license - gotta take all the tests this time around!!! Talk about worrying!
Since all I've heard tells me Mr. Irish is very cool, I'll take that as a compliment. LOL!
Good luck, Irish! And don't forget, think positive. :)
Q! Happy birthday! I'd serve ya a scotch but even in jolly old England I don't imagine they let 15 year old boys who live in their mum's basement have scotch!
;)
Good luck, Irish! That is nerve wracking. I'm probably one of the few people over 40 who can say they've only had their driver's license for less than three years. Long story, but let us know how it goes! :)
J - In actuality, my heart is fine. It's the anxiety that pushes me to think somethin' is wrong. When me world is a bit tipsy-turvy, first thoughts always go ta the heart stuff. First worries, first anxiety, first fears... It's jus' the way 'tis.
There's a song on a sweet little CD I listened to a lot up at me Mum's...
The more I know, the more I wonder
From the setting of the sun
To the dawning of the day
And the questions to be asked
Are beyond number
Only this much for certain I can say
There is no night but longing for the day
You aren't alone. We all long for the day.
Well, save fer Sin...;)
Terri luv, how did you know it was my birthday!?
Its really sweet of you to remember. :D
Thanks everyone for the good wishes. They are much appreciated...... and I'm having a fabulous day. *grin*
Now that I have passed my estimated midpoint in life I count my age as number of years to the estimated endpoint. That way I get younger every year.
So, JP, you see that a rainbow really does have two ends. :lol:
And Chance, I may indeed reach 15 .... eventually *grin*
Go figure! :wink:
Q, darling, your birthday is in my calendar!. This day must be marked every year. (And you share your birthday with Jenny Crusie which makes this one awesome day all the way around.)
I'm not sure about this counting down stuff. That would take a lot to put a positive spin on it for me.
I passed!!!! They turned me loose on the roads for another 4 years.
I not only passed but got 100%, a good and bad thing. Good because getting a 100% on anything these days is a great boost to my mom ego. The mom whose answer to her daughter's question - "Can you help with my math homework?" is usually a huge laugh followed by "You're kidding, right?!" Bad because now I have to listen to the DH say "I told you soooooo" at least several 100 times tonight.
Yeah, Irish! *clapping*
Darned optimists. I feel your pain.
Way to go, Irish! :)
Well done Irish! Perfection!
I once did a school maths test and got everything right. My mark was 99%. I queried this, wondering why it was not 100% and got the reply that no-one is perfect. *grin*
Teri said: I’m not sure about this counting down stuff. That would take a lot to put a positive spin on it for me.
Thats the macabre side to my sense of humour Terri. In the subatomic world though, virtual particles do travel backward in time and presumably get younger. They are not able to distinguish the future from the past. Its really weird!
Happy Birthday from Kansas, Q!
Congratulations, Irish! We have to renew every 7 years.
Terr, I'm one of those people that tend to get pissed off at optimistic people, but mostly because those people who try to be optimistic just don't have a real damn clue what Life Shit is about.
Huzzah for Irish!
Q - I remember reading something about that in the science class I took a year or so ago. I have to ask, do the particles actually travel backwards, or do scientists just perceive it that way. And how do you know what particles can and can't distinguish? (Not trying to be a shit, I'm really curious.)
Renee - I wade through shit all the time. I've just found the shit it easier to get past if you remember it can't go on forever. :)
Terri, I guess there is shit and there is shit-shit (I'm liking this word today). And you're right it can't last forever, but when you have teenagers it sure as hell seems like there is no end in sight. ;)
Renee - I'm getting a taste of that now. Last night, it took two shoe stores and much gnashing (sp?) of teeth before kiddo and I found her a pair of shoes we could both agree on. She's only 10, but she's wearing a lady's size 8 1/2. Not exactly the size in which you can find innocent looking, little girl shoes.
Doesn't that piss you off! My youngest will be 12 in December and I could never find any shoes that we both could agree on.
Be thankful you don't have to go to court next week because of neighborhood teenage drama. Did I mention I live in Hickville Hell?
Thanks, everyone! Renee, I think I'll be moving to Kansas. LOL Actually I haven't had to go to a DMV in over 8 years. The last time my license was up for renewal I was able to apply for a sticker online to affix to the back of my current license. So, I really have no cause to complain. Although, when has that ever stopped me in the past?
Renee, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I used to look at all these "think positive, the sun will come out tomorrow" types and I felt like doing bodily harm. I thought to myself that they had no clue what hardship, pain and suffering were. And then I married one of those people and slowly but surely saw that he didn't experience less pain he just dealt with it in a different way. I'm not sure if I'm correct in my assumption, but I believe that humor is a key component.
Yes, I think I've seen you mention that before. LOL! I'm guessing moving is not an option? Building a giant wall to keep them out maybe?
Terri said : Q - I remember reading something about that in the science class I took a year or so ago. I have to ask, do the particles actually travel backward, or do scientists just perceive it that way. And how do you know what particles can and can’t distinguish? (Not trying to be a shit, I’m really curious.)
Terri the theory describing these quantum processes, developed by Feynman among others, does not distinguish past from future and agrees well with measurements. The reason that the world as we perceive it moves toward the future was a puzzle for a long time. It is now understood that in macroscopic systems like human beings, the time required to observe a 'back flow' is extremely long (longer than the age of the universe) so we never observe it. But for quantum systems containing only a few particles the time reversal symmetry holds.
There are many counter intuitive properties observed at the quantum scale which makes it all so fascinating!
Rennee , thanks for the birthday wishes!
It feels very special to have so many pirates wishing me a happy birthday! :D
Irish - Humor is a huge component. But it's all about faith. And I don't mean traditional religion faith. Just faith that the world will keep turning and things will work out. They always do, if you just believe.
Q - Yeah, that clears it right up. 8)
Yep, humor and faith is a big part of being an optimist. And I think a thick skin.
This is kind of off topic, but I'm currently licking my wounds after a double dose of family "support" (from sister and mother) today when it comes to my writing. I mean, I thought I'd passed that hurdle of explaining myself, but since finishing a book it's almost worse. The problem is, that since I didn't become an "overnight success," the attitude is now a sort of confused surprise that I'm STILL writing. Like, "oh, I thought you finished that." Like, I should have it out of my system or something.
Anyway, I let the assumption stand until today I just sort of lost my cool. Cringe.
They caught me at the wrong time. I was in that rare writing "zone." The story is coming together. Each day I have longer periods of the day where I'm in that "zone" (actually writing) and I HAVE to get this down. I quietly to myself declared a goal in my head of having it finished by the end of December (before I go back to college).
Oops, sent it before I was quite ready, but I guess I said about what I meant. :) I'm just wondering if anyone else, published or unpublished, can share some wisdom on dealing with family criticism? The darn guilt of writing??
Melissa, them types, they don't understand us. At first I would get one of those kind of looks like I was off my rocker. And then there would be the questions, well i you're writing who's taking care of the kids, or if you want a job you should go out and get one, because writing isn't real work. *rolls eyes*
First and foremost, I enjoy writing. It keeps me sane, you know through all Life shit. Secondly, my husband supports me. I love my mother dearly, but if she didn't support me, and she thoroughly does, mainly because she has her own dreams and ambitions that are in the artsy vein, I would still write. Over the last couple of weeks, hubs, the boy, and my mother would be on me. I got the questions of why are you playing Bejeweled, aren't you supposed to be writing? That kind of thing.
If they can't support you, they are in the wrong, because it is something you enjoy. And they should support you because they love you. You, keep pushing forward, don't let them interfere with your writing zone, because they'll only end up being that thing that keeps you from your goal.
I try to grin and bear it. If I lose my cool, oh, well. They just don't get it. But they will when they see your name on the cover of your book sitting on the shelves. And they'll get it even better when they see your name on the NY Times Bestseller list. (Oh, did I tell you I can predict the future?) ;)
Smile, and write. Put all your emotion into your manuscript and sell the blessed thing! *grins*
Okay off the barrel. Where's me sum rum?
The thing about shit...even shit shit... Put it in the compost pile and it grows awesome flowers.
Melissa, me well-meaning mother worries about what will happen if'n I don't get published... Not much support, but she means well... She really does worry!
So, I'm no help whatsoever.
The bar be open, has been all day. I almost feel the blues is too think aboard fer the right atmosphere ta drink...
Aye, morose pirates that drink be dangerous ta the shippin' lanes!
Thanks, Renee. :)
Yeah, I think part if it is that I put my own name in lights, so to speak, with self publishing my first book. I'm stubborn with calling that a mistake (I was just so anxious to let go of it), but it doesn't hold a lot of weight. I didn't tell the family. I've been very slow on getting my book out for reviews. I was afraid to get the bad one and only when I got a good one, did I feel brave enough to solicit another. Next time, I will try to "sell the blessed thing!" :)
Chance, you have a good point of your mom may not support, but she means well. I can see that my mom worries too, in a confused "where did you come from" kind of way. LOL
Yep, heading for the ship's bar. :)
Mom's manner of protection can ver toward the don't take the risk and you won't get hurt.
She wants us all safe. But like Dori spoke of in Finding Nemo that isn't much fun.
Okay, when are you guys just going to turn the topic to sex. :)
Sorry to be a downer. I try, but nobody said anything that I could totally read wrong yet and put my foot in my mouth. :)
Melissa, I remember a speech given by Christina Dodd given at a conference a few years back. She called those sorts "the dear shits."
Do not disappoint us all and quit. Never do that, but you may have to give a come to Jesus talk to your dear shits about the reality of publishing.
Sorry I was MIA. I've been stuck with a kid who simply cannot get his spelling words right.
Stop laughing, Terri. Shit!
JP, throw spelling out the window and pat the kid on the head. *big cheesy grin* Of course, I'm just joking.
Thanks, J Perry! I need to attend some of these conferences.
Nope, no quitting. Writing is my escape from the "dear shits." LOL
Thank Goddess for spellcheck. Wish the blog 'ad it. Well, maybe not. It would catch all me pirate-isms and be a total bitch.
Sex... Well, nope. Just not there taday.
J - The fig doesn't fall far from the tree and all that.
Melissa - My mom and my sister read my work, though everytime I send something to my mom, she falls asleep in the middle. She asures me this is not a reflection on my writing, but it still gives me a complex.
The way I see it, if you can overcome the bitchy inner critic to get something done and be proud enough of it to self-publish it, then you can overcome anything. There is a good chance they don't understand how this industry works. With so many books filling the shelves at stores, it would be easy to assume getting a book published must not be that easy. Ha!
Irish, I don't know what it is about you, but I truly love you guts.
Pirates, you have a fantastic audience. Steller, in fact.
I must say, Hellie, your story brought tears to my eyes.
I'm beginning to think there are two very important perspectives that shape who a woman thinks she is:
1) a mother's perspective of her child
2) a boy's perspective of his girlfriend, particularly in the most formative years.
I can't say anything about #1. My mom is still alive. But I can say a lot about #2 (figuratively and literally). I was rejected once so cruelly, I almost signed off on love altogether.
I'm glad to know you're braver than I.
I’m beginning to think there are two very important perspectives that shape who a woman thinks she is...
Thinks being the most important part of that equation. It often is at odds with the actual truth.
We do have an awesome bunch here. I so love this ship.
Terri, you must stop giving your mom your work to read when she is already very tired. :) Take her at her word. It is not a reflection on your work. She is just very, very tired. Now, say that to yourself 1000 times.
I can turn it to sex.
I was talking with Terri and Sin today about being neurotic. (I hate people; I hate being touched/having my space invaded.) I was in the elevator with a coworker and I didn't think I was doing anything out of the ordinary--cranky, yes, but that's not inordinary; and my coworker asked me if I suffered from claustrophobia. I explained the not being touched/space thing. She nodded and went back to work but of course it bothered me enough to talk to Terri and Sin about it.
Terri's suggestion: You should see a therapist. You could talk about your feelings and do exercises so you are more comfortable around people.
Sin's suggestion: You should get roaring drunk and have all-night sex until you're worn out.
GUESS which of these options I told them I would take?
I’m glad to know you’re braver than I.
Not really. I hate dating. I do enjoy putting some of the worst moments of my dating life into a book, amping it up (ever so slightly) to make the guy look that much more an idiot, and then my heroine gets a HEA--but the idiot falls off the cliff as a flaming cannonball (tragic accident, of course.)
Petty, yes. But satisfying.
No one told me sex was an alternative method of treatment. Though I should have thought of that, huh?
I think I just want therapy so badly (you know, someone who has to listen to me ramble on whether they like it or not) that I recommend it to everyone.
Oh, I know, have the sex IN the elevator. LOL!
JP, you are so cute! I never know whether I'm babbling nonsense, offending someone or making them feel a little better half the time. I'm hoping by now everyone on this ship knows it's usually option 1 or 3.
Unlike, Hellion, I chose the therapist and so sometimes I find myself spouting self help mumbo/jumbo. More often than not, though, it's the important mumbo/jumbo that has helped me through the tough stuff.
And Hellion, the DH said you don't need a therapist you just have what is known as a large personal space circle. Nothing wrong with that, IMHO, better than having no personal space circle. You know the type... they rub up against anything that doesn't move - kinda like cats. He says his bill's in the mail! :)
At least the man was smart enough not to offer to help her with the sex part. LOL!
Irish - You never ramble and you never offend. This ship would have a cuteness deficiency without you around.
Yeah, he gets big points for that one, Ter!
And you have to get therapy. It's great. It's true - you have this person all to yourself thinking only about you for a whole hour. It's all about you - what you think, what you feel. It's kind of like having your own personal cheering section. The downside is it costs money. :(
Worth every penny. ;)
Ah, but Irish...my therapist saved my sanity and rescued me from living in reaction to my fear. I still fear, but I reflect on whether there really is a saber toothed tiger coming at me or not...before I duck, run or fight.
Love that basic lizard brain.
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