Who Do Ya Love?
I’m feeling my age, crew mates. Not just because I am approaching my 50th year… OK, maybe that is part of it. Maybe it’s my husband being out of work for the last few months, realizing retirement should be more than a concept for far, far in the future… I honestly don’t know why it’s on my mind so much.
Trust me, I’m not seeing myself as entering my dotage. Despite being smacked by the captain about claiming old lady status a few weeks back…I don’t consider myself an old lady. But I’m not a spring chicken. I’m not sure I ever was a spring chicken!
I may have been born an adult.
Maybe.
I can be a bit quirky. I married a man who is on the short side. He’s dark, which was always my preference in men, but he’s also short. I look at the men I find attractive on the screen? Always tall. Very tall. Strong features, usually a prominent nose and a great smile. (My DH has a spectacular smile, btw.) Don’t need muscles, but a toned body is nice. Crazy hair. I always like crazy hair, long.
OK, what does this have with feeling my age? With who ya love? Well, I’m finding our hotties a bit intimidating. I feel like I want to fix them a hot meal, frost some cupcakes and give them advice about how to treat women right. I want to fix their booboos with band-aids. Sigh. This is where I feel like an old lady.
(I do like the idea of flirting with them and watching them blush or look completely scandalized. I like to see panic… Yes, I’m wicked. Sometimes.)
I’m looking for somebody a bit more mature. A bit rough. A bit weathered. Maybe even battered. Some experience…no, a lot of experience. A worldly man. A wicked man. OK. I want a Barbossa on the ship. 
Right now, Terrio is screaming. I know this.
I tried to explain my fascination with Barbossa a few weeks back and I think I made her sick. Not the one on the screen, the one in my head. The one with cleaned up teeth, no yellow tinged eyes, no pock-marked skin, no fu-manchu finger nails… But the one that is tall, walks with confidence, his hair wild…grey (or silver)… Why? Because he’s mature. He’s experienced, he’s been around the world a dozen times, he has a commanding presence. He isn’t the trickster Jack is. He isn’t above being sneaky, but he’s more sly about it, not cute.
I love Jack, Captain. Don’t shoot me. If’n I were shipwrecked, I’d trust Jack to see me to safety more than I’d trust Hector Barbossa.
Sigh.
Is it because I’m gonna turn 50 in December? Maybe. I find myself respecting the books where the heroine is in her forties. Harlequin literally put some books out that particularly addressed that theme. The older, been around the block a few times, heroine. And I appreciated that! But…they often were pursued by younger guys.
OK. I don’t mind it. Really. But, I’d love to see the equally aged match pair. I loved the remake of The Thomas Crowne Affaire because they put Pierce Brosnan with Rene Russo…and made it steaming hot! (If you haven’t seen this movie, see it. I mean hot, hot, hot!) None of this Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones nonsense. Or what was that movie with Winona Ryder and Richard Gere? Give me a freakin’ break!
They haven’t been brave enough to make the movie with the 50 year old woman and the 20-something man… Unless they make it creepy. (At least I haven’t seen it. Anyone?)
The pub industry has put out feelers for the more plus size heroine. Yes! For the African American heroine. Yes, yes! And we’re getting there with the rest. OK, time for some aged heroines. Mysteries have them, because the older woman is more observant, yada, yada, yada. What about the older romantic heroine? Not the aunt of someone who actually has an affaire with a younger man. (Though I think Eloisa did it with a side character… My memory deserts me, of course. But seems to me she did… But it was a side story. And Jennifer Crusie did it with the book featuring a basset hound on the cover. (I know, I know, I remember the dog, not the book title. Shoot me! The dog was named Fred…)
I want some nice hot steamy sex with the older man. I’ve even been looking online for some MEN for the Sunday hottie…trying to find a shot of the grey haired guy, with the nice bod…a bit scarred from living an interesting life. A bit worn and weathered from experience. But with a look in his eye that says, “All this experience is yours…”
Lines on his face and all. And hands that know…everything.
Anyone read about the older romantic couple? In a steamy romance, not just the sweet, nurturing sort? Front and center story, with humor or not. Am I gonna have to write this book? Recommendations? Opinions? (And I don’t need a pep talk about not seeing the young guys on hottie Sunday as too young for me. But thank you, Hellie.)
Books by the Crew
94 comments:
Actually...if Barbossa implemented a toothbrush, he wouldn't be half bad. Don't choke on your rum, but I thought Geoffrey Rush was damned hot in Quills. Strangely, strangely sexy. But then, I thought he was rather cute in Shakespeare in Love too--oh, I loved Joseph Fiennes, with his intense eyes and high forehead, but Geoffrey Rush has always been a bit quirky sexy. I'd do him.
And let's not forget Alan Rickman. The older he gets, the hotter he gets. Seriously. Colonel Brandon has never been a "un-hardship" until *he* played Colonel Brandon, and suddenly we're all picking Brandon over Willoughby without thinking twice. (Though Greg Wise, he looks awesome with the silver streaks in his hair...and he reminds me a bit of Adrian Paul, another favorite of mine.)
I can be cougarish--I do think Draco Malfoy/Tom Felton is cute after all, and I generally like guys within a 10 year radius of me--but I have a soft spot for the older guy. I always have. (I was a naughty teenager in this regard. *LOL*)
As for the Eloisa book, I think you might be referring to Pleasure for Pleasure, where Gressie hooks up with a guy who is 5 years younger than her. She's a widow in her early 30s, EARLY 30s. For a historical, she's practically on her deathbed, I realize, but still, she's hardly the "older woman" *LOL*
I think Elizabeth Berg writes good women's fiction where the heroines are mature and have love affairs--but the sex is not explicit. I think if you want older couple explicit sex, you might have to write it. *LOL*
OH, and I totally concur about The Thomas Crown Affair. (I'm not a big Pierce Brosnan fan--he looks a little too debonair and polished to me--I know, how is that possible?--so I didn't watch it for a long time.) Hawt, hawt, hawt...and funny...and that ending! The ending was so brilliant. I love endings like that.
What a sincere blog post! I feel ya, kind of. I'm not quite there yet, I haven't hit 40, but some of these younger men make me feel, what did Hellie call it, cougarish? When I was little I always had a fascination with older men. When I was 5 I just knew I was going to grow up and marry George Brett. I held on to that belief clear into high school. Then there was Sam Elliot. As fascinated as I was with older men, I went and married a man six months younger. :)
Chance, being a fellow traveler on the Mature Express, I've tried to write about older characters. My trilogy features women who are thirty (gasp!). One of my heroes is forty (and really hot*g*). My youngest heroine in Tempting Eden is only 22 but she's had a very hard life. I have trouble taking any untouched virginal teen heroine seriously, altho I know in the Regency everyone married at 17.
I prefer characters with a few barnacles on them (but would not go so far as to admire the pirate pictured).I think the romance market is huge and varied and there's room for all ages. And of course, as we ourselves age, we'd like to see a bit of our own lives mirrored in the fiction we read.
My husband is 9 months older than I, so I guess he could be my big brother. Eww.
I hear ya, Chance. I've always gone for the older men. Never was interested in boys my age, definitely not younger - then I went and married a man 6 months younger! Go figure.
When I was in my teens/early twenties I lusted after Sean Connery, Cary Grant, Gary Coooper and Paul Newman (who looked pretty hot right up to the end, IMHO!). All the pretty boys from the brat back did nothing for me. Hellion is spot on with Alan Rickman, especially in S&S. I'd pick Colonel Brandon over Willoughby, and even Edward, any day. Ciaran Hines and Anthony Hopkins are still other older heroes I would go for in a New York minute.
I don't know any main stories around older couples but Susan Elizabeth Phillips does a couple of awesome secondary stories about the parents of her main characters in Heaven Texas, Nobody's Baby But Mine and Natural Born Charmer.
Well, as one who is also riding Maggie's "Mature Express" and will be adding another stop in a mere 9 days let me say that I would happily buy a romance featuring an older heroine. I may be over 50 but I'm far from dead! lol
I'm an equal opportunity admirer of men. Love 'em older. Love 'em younger...but not too much younger...unless they're Gilles Marini. That's one man who could definitely get my inner cougar purring. Besides, he's not *that* much younger. A mere 25 years. I could live with that. ;-)
LOL! cougarish. :) Every time I find myself lusting over some young 20something on the big screen, I get that feeling. RPattz and Taylor Lautner? Adorable, but for real, do these boys know anything of the variety in which we would find them useful?
I haven't read a lot of romances with older women in them. I'll have to think on that....
Adorable, but for real, do these boys know anything of the variety in which we would find them useful?
Gotta look for the silver lining in the younger ones. What they don't have in experience (which is undoubtedly vast), they typically make up for with enthusiasm, quick to learn, and quicker recovery.
Ohhh, and the Urban Word of the Day is so fitting for this blog! It's: "Half Your Age Plus 7", which is apparently the youngest age you could date and still be decent. *LOL*
Unfortunately, even when I do this, I think Pattinson and Felton are slightly too young to be considered, but it does open up a wide playing field.
Ok - Chance I'm only 30 and i'm not a fan of many of the hotties on teh ship - wayyy too young for me. Maybe that's why I can't get into the Twilgiht series - I find nothing appealing about any of those young boys. It's not an old lady thing at all - you're as young as you feel. It's a feelign that they are emotionally mature yet.
I concur - I'd take Brandon anyday over Willoughby anyday! Alan Rickman is heart stopping in almost anything. Love him!
I'm also a huge fan of Viggo Mortensen, Willem Dafoe, Tim Roth, Oliver Martinez, Sam Elliot...I could go on, but there's not a young one in the bunch. I want a man who's lived life and it's etched on his face - a face that shows emotion. Maybe that's what it is.
BTW- I mentioned Thomas Crown Affair a little while ago as a perfect movie for sexual tension. That was actually the movie my DH took me to on our first date. We now have a standing date to watch it every year on our anniversary. Man - I want to bottle Renee Russo's brand of sexy! A perfect example of what sexy should really be - not some 18 year old blonde stick.
I haven't read many older romances. Usually it's the hero who's older and the heroine is younger. I think Cruise might be the only one I've read that is slightly older with her female leads.
Hmmm, I have noticed a slightly older historical heroine appearing, but nothing over 30. I do love the smart "bluestocking" heroine though. I haven't noticed any hot romances in books with equally age matched older couples though.
I think it's still difficult to use an older heroines in books, even though the cougar romance is everwhere in film and tv, especially daytime soaps. In film, a 40 or 50 something heroine doesn't LOOK 40 or 50 something. She's taken care of herself; gone to the gym, colored her hair, etc., and she LOOKS good. She looks ten years or more younger than she is. And, unlike in a book, she doesn't declare her age. I mean, as soon as we read and know a heroine is 45, there are a lot of preconceptions of what that means.
Raising a glass to my fellow travelers on the Mature Express from one who is riding a car or two ahead of you! Cary Grant and Paul Newman both aged really well. I love Alan Rickman and my darling George looks better now than he did as a beautiful boy.
Regarding Terri's hotties--I can appreciate a work of art without wanting to take it home. :)
Chance, Maggie, PJ, you should all read Pam Morsi's Red's Hot Honky-Tonk Bar. It's a great read, and the heroine is 47 and uneasy about committing to the hero, a hot fiddle player fifteen years her junior.
Oops, forgot one other advantage of the older film heroine...plastic surgery. :)
Ha! I notice Terrio hasn't stepped aboard yet... Hee, hee.
Hellie - Aye, I looked up Geoffrey ta see his age and he's got 8 years on me! Just right! And yes, Alan Rickman is awesome. Sam Elliott. Treat Williams, I like Treat Williams... And so glad you also found TCA hawt! That scene on the stairs... pant, pant.
Hellie - I looked it up and Pattinson is just a year too shy for you. LOL! I'm old enough to be Taylor's mother so that's out of the question. But my daughter will be happy to know he's only 7 years older than she is.
I'm not screaming, really I'm not. If you said something like "I think Bill O'Reilly is a genius!" I'd scream. This, not so much.
Not that I get it, but I'm not screaming.
That Crusie book is Anyone But You though inside the front cover of the reprint she does say no one ever remembers the name of that book, they just remember Fred. In that one, the heroine is 40 and the hero is 30. It works really well.
And we can't forget that Hank's Charlie McNally is in her 40s. And dealing with Romance and making choices so there's something for you.
I'm guessing pubs are trying to target younger audiences and perhaps that's why the mature characters are not breaking through much. Remember when you were 19? 30 seemed ancient! It did to me anyway. Hell, my daughter once asked me if we had cars when I was little.
Rene - Sigh. My lad is six months younger than me. We had to get an OK from the Catholic Church ta get married. I were 20, he wasn't, quite.
And I do like lookin' at the hotties... They jus' don't really do it fer me.
Maggie - I did, just the other day, read about a scene in Desperate Housewives, which I do not watch...but! They let the 80 year old grannie climb inta bed wit' her ardent admirer.
And I can remember reading a book by Emma Holly featuring an older guy...who lusted after the guys and the girl, but wasn't matched wit' a woman his own age. At least he was hot...
Sigh.
I sense a market out there...
Yup, secondary characters, Irish. Always secondary characters. I just finished a Jennifer Crusie with another older side couple...argh! Why not the center, just once!?
Though there were an adorable dachshund in the book and the lead hero liberally used the word f*ck when he lusted and spoke to the heroine. Something I appreciated!
And it was funny as hell.
PJ But not too younger... I like that! Maybe that is the bit ta hang onto. Hellies half yer age plus 7...let's see. I can innocently lust after men who are...
Math. I hate math.
25 + 7 = 32! (Did I get that right?)
Not sure I agree with that. Seems a bit...well, I guess it would depend on the maturity of the 32 year old. As fer lasting longer? Hellie, me DH lasts longer now than he ever did afore... TMI, I know...but it had to be said.
The older, more experienced man knows how to harbor his energy.
You know, some of us work for a living. *taps toe*
Janga - THANK YOU! I really wasn't kidding about being on strike. I hope you're looking up some hotties for yourselves.
Terri, what if I said Glenn Beck was a hottie? *snorts*
I'm not worried that Robert Pattison is a year too shy for me, considering that I would have to fight Sin for him--and I clearly wouldn't win. Clearly. (Though I did almost touch the clothes he wore in Harry Potter, when I was in Chicago. I almost touched something Robert wore! Sorry, sorry.)
Actually I'm more a Jacob fan--I like his character more (odd, I know)--and the kid who plays him is a pony, all teeth and hair and perky pranciness. I'm not even interested in crushing on him. I'll stick to crushing on the book character. However, Sam from the books--I bet the guy that plays him in the movie is closer to an age I could decently cougar on.
Adorable, but for real, do these boys know anything of the variety in which we would find them useful?
LOL! Aye, Marnee, they suspect...which be why so many are lookin' fer the experienced cougar. But the ones that don't!? They be so much fun ta tease. Long as ya don't work wit' 'em and can be facing the HR lawyer.
Remember when you were 19? 30 seemed ancient! It did to me anyway. Hell, my daughter once asked me if we had cars when I was little.
Yes, I do remember. *LOL* And I said it to my sister, who was 31 (I'm 15 years younger)--and said, "I hope when I'm old--" "Old? What's old?" "Oh, 30." My sister was not pleased.
I'm cracking up about the cars comment.
Melissa - the preconceptions is part a' what interests me. The potential of a romance wit' the mature set is endless. The complications have to be involved...more evolved.
And without the baggage of looking fer true love...then finding it when least expected?
My 70+ MIL found love over the internet...been together more than a decade now.
As fer lasting longer?
I did not say they lasted longer. I said they RECOVERED QUICKER.
Yes, Sabrina, I read yer comment on TCA the other day and almost spilled the beans 'bout this blog. But I wanted to take Terrio by surprise!
I think that is an awesome anniversary movie. And I am so with you. I want to look that good...when I'm her age!
My DH and I first saw the movie while on a Caribbean Cruise aboard Princess...one of their movies. Had a very nice night...
Janga - I'll look fer the book. But again...why is he 15 years younger???
Where is the 50 year old hot fiddle player...
Chance cries out inta the ocean blue. Takes a stand on the bow, searchin' the seas, knowing he be out there...
Terrio! Welcome aboard. I feared I'd scared ya off wit' a picture a' me secret fetish hero.
Did I just say that? ;)
She asked if there were cars...lord love a duck. And you kept her, good fer ya!
I'm sure ya be right, pubs are targetin' the younger set. I wouldn't say there be a huge market out there fer those a' us slippin' and slidin' inta the silver set...but! There be a niche market.
I'd be perfectly happy ta fit inta a niche...market.
And yup, that be the book! Fred's book. Hank's books be on me short list. I do have a good used bookstore here at Mum's...hope ta check it out again today...
OK, Hels...Sam from what book?
Now, would you read a book featuring a 50+ couple...fun, hawt, complicated?
recovered quicker Me apologies. That be true, but as the mature man recovers, he has decades a' experience ta keep me interested. Hands, lips... Least the mature man I be makin' up!
I’m sure ya be right, pubs are targetin’ the younger set
Actually...isn't the average age of a heroine in a historical probably around 21 or 22? I grant you, that's a lot younger than any of us--but if you read some of the historicals from the 70s and 80s, the average age of the heroine was 17 or 18.
And occasionally you can find a heroine, lately, who's in her later 20s--which is a big deal, considering the stigma that if you weren't married by the time you were in your early 20s, you were never going to be.
I do think contemporary novels could up the age of a heroine a bit. The average age of a heroine in contemporary books seems to be between 24-29, though I've seen more that feature women in their 30s. Very rare finds to find romances of women in their 40s--and it's usually the cougar story. They don't usually hook up with someone their age. In fact, the premise is usually they were dumped by the guy who was their age--because he left her to run off with his secretary who was 20.
Chance, you are right, the preconceptions are what would make the story interesting. The age difference IS the conflict, or one of them. There is definitely a story there, it just isn't one I wonder a romance category line would pick up. Maybe, they would. Stupid marketing people. Who can figure them out?
Terri, I also have my seven-year-old asking me those questions; did you have tv when you were a kid? More specifically, did you have Scooby Doo when you were a kid, and I was happy I could say yes. lol Suddenly I had his respect. I love it when the old is new again.
Hels - Aye, I think the contemps could definately up the ages. But if I write it, ya know it's gonna have paranormal elements...and sex. Lots of sex.
Do ya think the older readers want ta read a' younger heroines because of the imagine themselves as the heroine thing?
Honestly, I get tired a' puttin' meself inta the picture of a 20 somethin' young thing. Even a thirty somethin' young thing. Not to mention the thin, beautiful heroine.
I want ta be me in the books I read!
I am so strange.
BTW - Pirates, keep Jane-o in yer thoughts taday. She be havin' some tests done on 'er heart.
Sam is from Twilight series.
It would depend on the book, the author (voice)--but probably not right now. I'm 34, so the life experiences of characters in their 50s are not the same as mine. I like to read books where I identify with the character. I don't mind reading about characters from different cultures--so long as they're within my age range, going through similar things as me. I always figure people in their 50s are going through "empty nest syndrome" or "geez, maybe I should think about retiring" and "is this menopause?"--I don't identify with those things. I'm not sure I want to yet either. *LOL*
But it would depend on the book. I certainly don't think 50+ couples having sex is weird, if that's where this is going. Rock it, have a big time...whatever.
Melissa - That's the thing! The age difference IS the conflict. Why? Why? Why? It shows some empowerment stuff as the heroine feels better about herself because the young thing really does want her as a love-of-his-life... But even that premise sort of offends me.
She needs a younger man to feel strong and beautiful? Isn't that why her matchin' set left her? So...does that make her any better than him?
Granted, he left for the sex. Hopefully, she finds the youngster interestin' for the right reasons.
Not that sex isn't right...;)
Don't even draw me into the "imagining myself as the heroine" again. Apparently if I do so, I'm being shallow and pathetic. So go find someone else to engage in this speculation.
Ah, a Twilight reference...should a' seen that.
I sorta get that you wouldn't personally find yourself fascinated by the romantic worries of an older heroine...
But, we olders are supposed to only find the romantic antics of the youngsters in our interest? There is a real discrepancy there.
But romance is about fantasy...
You are not shallow...I thought it be a fairly accepted part a' readin' romance... If ya read historicals, ya dream of that ideal era fer romance. (I know, the reality isn't ideal. It's dirty, disease ridden and the like...)
If yer inta paranormal, ya dream of the paranormal life. Havin' magical powers, a magical lover...
Nothing shallow about what we be readin' fer... Who the hell said anything about shallow and pathetic?
I'll go beat them up fer ya.
But, we olders are supposed to only find the romantic antics of the youngsters in our interest? There is a real discrepancy there.
No. But marketing wise, what's the average age range of the typical buyer? Is it someone in her 20s and 30s or someone in her 50s? What percentage of 50+ aged readers buy romance novels? If it's lower than the other ages, WHY? Is it because they're not being offered romance they can relate to OR is it because most of them don't really care about all that and would rather read a mystery?
You, yourself, have said you don't really read romances. Have you ever really read romances?
An editor I follow on Twitter was talkign abotu a submission and that he couldn't belive in a 30+ yr old heroine. Twitter was aflame with WTF!?
He then started discussing the 30+ yr. old virgin and how with so many romances the innocence of the heroine has been a traditional characteristic. So, possibly that is why traditionally heroines have been younger. There must be lots of readers who want to vicariously relive their first time.
I think we already see this changing as less and less books feature virgins, but I do agree that in this day and age a 30+ year old virgin isn't too believable to the modern woman.
I know a 30 year old virgin--*I* am not her--but I do know one. It's not that unheard of, thank you.
And who is this editor? *LOL* No wonder Twitter went up in flames. *LOL*
There must be lots of readers who want to vicariously relive their first time.
Good God, why? Most of them suck.
Ah, come on. Hellie! Yes! I read romances! Jennifer Crusie, Eloisa, Jenna...Kleypas, SEP... Don't go mean on me! I never said you were shallow or pathetic, it weren't me!
I don't read romance exclusively...
That is always question, about whether they aren't reading because it isn't there or it isn't there because they wouldn't read it.
Anything well written would be read, I hope. But I can be a bit idealistic.
Sabrina - That is so cool that the Twitter-its got all fired up about that sort of comment. Again, was he fishing ta see if there were a market out there?
But I find it encouraging that there were a lot of WTF responses.
A 30+ virgin? Sad to say, I don't imagine they are in surplus. Romance is about the virginal first time? Hell, there should be an entire bookshelf of women who had sex for years without orgasms... that would be a virginal experience... The man who finally sees that for the mature woman.
Geez. What a neanderthal.
I love that you think we'd assume *you* were a virgin.
LMAO!!!
Nothin' wrong with being a 30+ virgin. Hell, my first is my only and don't think I get strange looks when that rises in a conversation...
For whatever reason that rises in a conversation.
Not that I think yer the virgin in question. And yes, who really wants to relive the first time? Re-imagine it, maybe!
Terri, I didn't really think people would think so, but just in case...
Hmm, the 30+ virgin. Whether believable or not, it's still a huge plot. Most HQ Presents titles are some sort of "Virgin Mistress, Playboy Billionaire."
Not speaking for myself, of course(ahem), but perhaps the appeal for a lot of women is a bit of rewriting the past. If you had a wild and crazy youth and regret not holding out sexually for true love, then maybe many women crave the romance they missed out on.
Chance said: "Hell, there should be an entire bookshelf of women who had sex for years without orgasms… that would be a virginal experience" -Sorry, don't know how to italicize:(
Here, here!!!! I think they are more numerous than you would think.
And I hate to say this, a little TMI, but I would have been one of the 30+ virgins (shy a year or two)!!!! And very, very naive. I lived in the big city, went out, partied, but believe it or not we didn't sit around and talk about sex and orgasms! I wasn't the only girl in my group that didn't have a clue when it came to sex. I think we were all into the relationship and figured that good sex was a given once we found the love of our life! Boy, talk about naive! LOL
I get that idea. Re-imagining yourself.
I think I want to corner the market (bwah ha ha!) for the mature woman who wants a true love that shares her generational interests when she has lost the first true love. (Or the placeholder who left her for the twentysomething with legs up to here...)
Me sis has laughed about male bosses who date young, young women and then bitch about how they don't share any musical interests. Movie trivia, etc. Course, they don't stop dating them!
Uh huh.
Would a woman be more particular? Want a man who does remember the same things? Or would her female friends fill that gap?
I get jealous of those movies with women all going out to lunch once a month to share stuff... We need a cyber cafe... ;)
Irish! Yes! And I bet all your friends thought the woman next to them already knew...they were the only one who didn't, so no one speaks up about what they don't know!
Hell, I was a virgin. He was a virgin. I have no doubt we missed out on a lot of learning that would have made the last 30 years more interesting in some ways.
The relationship is the key, though. But a little knowledge goes a long way to making that relationship work. But they work as a team. Great sex without the real relationship won't see a marriage survive, nor the other way around.
But it could be fun for awhile! ;)
Did someone say going years without orgasms? I could testify on that count. *sigh*
Chance - Have you looked into much Women's Fiction? Janga could give you more actual titles, but I find that Women's Fiction provides stories with women who are usually a bit older, old enough to have teenagers at least (that would be my age or older I guess) and they usually find a man their own age. I can't think of much women's fiction that I've read where the hero is a younger man. There was that Susan Wiggs, but I think that might be the exception.
Hopefully, Janga will come back and help me out here. For authors I know for sure, try Stef Ann Holm and LuAnn Rice. They never let me down, though Rice closes the door on the sex.
Would a woman be more particular? Want a man who does remember the same things? Or would her female friends fill that gap?
I think this would depend if you count on "conversation with a man"--being I think their conversational skills are limited to begin with, I think I'd fill the void with girlfriends. However, the thing that would do me in is that younguns love the Xbox or the equivalent of it. I hate those games! Having a sugar baby who played nintendo all day--I would set him on fire...
Closed doors on the sex won't work for me... LOL!
I've read some good relationship women's fiction. But hot romance? Not so much. But I'm going to really be looking from now on.
Really, the mature woman in mysteries often finds romance and even sex. But it's not the main focus, of course. The mystery is.
Ever wonder about those two crazy aunts in Practical Magic? The movie. Obviously hot to trot. What happened for them after the credits?
Since you already know what I'm going to say here, I'll skip it.
But I'll second that video game crap. I do own a Wii, but it was not purchased by moi. However, I do think I can get exercise from it.
I think there should be an age limit on video games. After a certain age, you get an electric shock if you touch a controler. A Powerful shock.
Hellie! Let me finish saving Halo!
Why are you carrying that lighter? You don't smoke...
But I actually enjoy watching my DH save Halo. And Mars. Playing Sam Fisher? Not so much...
You see, if he's playing Halo, I can write without his poking at me about some bit of nonsense he found while web searching or reading Wikipedia.
He is a nerd. Remember? And doing great at his new job, BTW!
OK, everyone is at lunch, I'm going home to check on Mum. Be back later!
Play nice!
I be plannin' ta serve a new drink when I get back, The Silver Sail. Or Silver Rudder. I aint' sure which...
We finally have a beautiful day here, 75 & sunny, so I took advantage and hid under a shade tree to eat lunch. My co-workers were giving me violent urges and I figured it was them or me.
According to the statistics on the RWA site:
The mean and median age of romance novel readers is very close to that of the general population.
•Mean: 44.6 years
•Median: 44.9 years
•Those aged 31 to 49 are more likely to read romance and comprise 44 percent of the readership.
Of course, that means 56% of the readers are younger and older. I know when age is discussed on some of the boards and blogs I frequent, admitted ages range from 17 to 80+. It's always reassuring to me that there are romance readers around who are old enough to make me feel young.
Nora Roberts' Black Rose features a heroine who has adult sons, and the hero is her contemporary.
Such a pairing is rare in straight romance.
Older women are more common in women's fiction,as Terri said, but the sensuality level is much lower than in romance. And these books may have a strong romantic element, but other relationships are also key. Jeanne Raye's totally delightful Julie and Romeo and Julie and Romeo Get Lucky have an H/H in their 60s. I loved Connie Brockway's Skinny Dipping, and the H/H are 40ish. Debbie Macomber gives love stories to women of all ages in her Cedar Cove and Blossom Street books, but Macombers books are sweet rather than hot. The heroine of Eileen Goudge's Stranger in Paradise is a 48-year-old widow, but her love interest is much younger.
Harlequin's Everlasting Love line featured older heroines, but evidently not many readers bought them. It was folded into the Super Romance line. Based on discussions I've read online, a lot of readers just refuse to read romances with older characters. One reader even said protagonists in their 60s were unrealistic since people that old would be dead. Agism is alive and well in Romancelandia, my friends.
In their 60s would be dead? You can't convince me that commenter was over 21. That's CRAZY!!! I can't even wrap my brain around that kind of crazy. On the Petit Fours & Hot Tomales blog from Wednesday, CiCi Barnes said she received a comment from a contest judge that said 38 is too old for a heroine. Uhm...I'm 38. WTF?!?!
I knew you'd back me up and have much more good info than I did. Thanks, Janga. And I've read one by Eileen Goudge. I enjoyed it, but it is much more about things other than romance.
Lets face it, youth is the golden ticket in this society. How many have searched for the fountain of youth? How many wrinkle creams are on the shelves? How common is plastic surgery?
Staying young (or at least looking young) is what we're supposed to want. I think we should all stand up and give a resounding *thpthtpthpthpth*
That's very interesting, Janga. I'm glad I popped back in and didn't miss your comment. :)
I do believe there is a high percentage of older romance readers in that unaccounted for 56% group. I know my mother, at 80, is one of them. The amount of reading she gets in, mostly all romances, is amazing. And when you just look at the baby boomers and growing senior population I would think it's a huge market. I'm not surprised though that the Everlasting Love line didn't take off. I wonder if it was a sweet rather than hotline, thinking that's what an older audience would want? Geez, maybe mom is reading the books for the steamy sex. :)
My mom is 63 and like me, she's always in the middle of a Romance. And though I doubt she'd read much erotica, she appreciates the steamy stuff.
One reader even said protagonists in their 60s were unrealistic since people that old would be dead.
I shouldn't laugh at that comment, but OMG, that's funny. What a twit! When my dad was in his 60s, he had a child in grade school.
Talking to my mom about that, whether she reads erotica, is just not going to happen. lol When I think about those Rosemary Rogers books I found hidden in her closet as a kid in the 70s I bet she did. :)
She freaked me out very recently when we were just just driving down a long stretch of country road and she got this far away look in her eye. I asked her what she was thinking about and she mentioned how she and my dad (now passed away) would go to the drive inn and (coming home on that very same long stretch of road) would have to stop somewhere on the long ride home and...oh, I had to slap my hands over my ears and do the "na na na na" noise to not hear. lol
Melissa's mom wins the AWESOME award for the day. LOL!
Did I mention my 63 yr old mother has a 20 year old child at home? LOL!
It's funny how we don't want to think of our parents "that way." lol So immature. My mom also had my brother at 42, probably conceived on that long ride home...lol
Holy cow, I better shut up about my mom. She'd kill me. LOL
One reader even said protagonists in their 60s were unrealistic since people that old would be dead. Agism is alive and well in Romancelandia, my friends.
Janga! Oh, shit. I only have ten years to do everything I want to do!?
Jus' got back from grocery shoppping wit' Mum. Man, she's a mean shopper! $150 down to $103 with coupons and special deals...
But really!? 60?
Well, Mom is obviously a vampire because she's 77.
I did like Skinny Dipping...and will write down the others you recommended.
Sounds like a good day ta pay tribute ta the Mums... Melissa, I do think they want to read more. I pass on some of my romance books ta me Mum and she just wants more meat.
Not the sort of meat I want more of...
But more depth ta the stories. More history, more drama. History but not historical? She's more Leon Uris and Michener than Eloisa. But I think she'll like Hank's books, so I'll read 'em and pass 'em on.
And me Mum may not read erotica but I got her ta laugh as the DH and I debated on exactly what Montery Bay looks like from space...the tip of a cock or a tit.
;)
That sounds like a very entertaining debate. Were there graphics? LOL!
I'm not one of those "My parents don't have sex lalalalalalala my fingers are in my ears" kinds of people. In my family, sex is talked about like the weather and no one shies away from anything. And then there's the fact I caught my parents having sex when I was six and many more times after that, and even I'm not that good at denial.
Well, at least they had sex! And that gives one inspiration for when one gets older.
Yes, well...the Montery Bay chatter... It was funny. I'll find the pic that shows what we were talking about and send it to you... ;) You can vote on who is right.
Me.
I've completely missed the whole day.
I'm going to come back later and comment. I'm not feeling well today and work is insane.
Chance, yes I do have to pick over which kind of books to pass along to my mom. She won't touch anything with any paranormal, which is what I write. I made the mistake a long time ago of letting her read my stuff. That lead to criticism that about knocked me down, but maybe when I think about it I should have known better than to think she'd like something so "out there."
Terri, off topic, but are you really on strike for picking out the hotties? What about the tennis guys Federer and Nadal? The US Open is on and I can't see them not being in the final. They probably don't intentionally do a hot pose for the camera though...darn. Maybe it's just me, but I think both are hot, especially Nadal, and that makes me feel very cougarish. lol
Sin-ster! I'll be back and forth for the next 24 hours, feel better and come back!
So looking forward to going home, cranking the CD player up in my minivan and cruising down to my Starbucks... I forgot the newest CD I bought from the group you recommended...the one with the big orange flower on it... Not that Mom's Intrepid could have handled the volume I wanted anyway!
Me Mum ain't one fer the paranormal either. But I write stuff too off the wall for her anyway, paranormal or not.
Melissa - Yep, got my big sign right here. But y'all can cross the line. Never fear, there will still be hotties. :)
And I do think Federer is cute. (Hellie would fall over from shock but she probably doesn't know what he looks like.) I've watched parts of matches and caught Venus' win the other day. Have I missed the semi-finals?
I'm not really one for paranormal either, but there are exceptions. Witches, telepathic, psychic stuff I can do.
Really? You're telepathic? Tell me what I'm thinkin' right now!
*giggle
The Silver Rudder! Sail didn't sound dirty enough.
*googles Federer*
YOU LIE!
Ok Pirates - I have a totally off-topic subject I need some sage advice on...
I have a romantic suspense story pretty well on it's way. Not totally plotted, not fully fleshed characters, but basic story is figured out and I've started writing.
Now, what happens...all during day I get these great story ideas, character traits, plot point ideas...and I write them down...BUT they aren't for my RS book!
Thery're for the 500 word challenge you pirates challenged me too! At that time I just wanted to write, so I just started writing and it was 700+ words of a Paranormal. I enjpy reading those, but NOT what I thought I wanted to write.
So, why am I getting all these great ideas for this little 700 word writing exercise instead of my RS story!!!!
Am I writing the wrong story? Is my mind trying to say - "Hey, look over here?"
Any advice appreciated!
No, you just have the normal writer's split personality.
No, she doesn't!
Yes, she does!
Hell, Sabrina, I have that wonderful book to finish, just needs maybe 5000 words...and I've been writing nasty erotica to the point of 80 pages this last week!
Does it help to know you're not alone?
Save the notes and write both. I can do it. But then again, I am mad.
No, you're not!
Yes, you are.
A horse named Alfredo works fer me!
Could be both.
The allure of the OTHER is always tempting. Like you're at the restuarant, you've order the Alfredo--which you love and are looking forward, then you look over and see someone is having Chicken Marsala. NOW you want the Marsala. You eat the Alfredo, but what you're really thinking about is the damned Marsala.
Only if you had ordered the Marsala in the first place, you'd probably be wishing for the Alfredo.
Grass is always greener and all that jazz.
Write whatever is going to make you write, but there is going to come a point that if in mid-writing of this story, if you get a better idea and want to write on that instead, you're going to have to decide on a horse and ride it.
Okay, I think I've used enough clashing metaphors today. Enjoy.
Sabrina, honestly...you planned the other book so for so long. Could be a bit of fear, that if you finish it...the book you've planned out and figured out and dreamt of...then what? So you distract yourself with another what if thing.
Roll with it. No one says you have to be only a romantic suspense writer. As long as you are writing.
Hellie is right, eventually one will sing louder and that will see you to the end...then you finish the other!
On a horse named Alfredo. Man, I'm hungry!
Thanks! It's helpful to hear again to just keep writing!
Lunch...lunch beckons... A late lunch, but lunch nevertheless!
Sabrina, I hope you don't mind my two cents to take or leave. :)
In my opinion, don't fight it. Give in and let the paranormal story's characters and ideas take off. :)
Everyone writes differently and I think it's surprising how a genre can be appealing to read but not to write or vice versa. It's kind of like trusting your instincts and giving yourself permission. For me, I use to think that if I didn't stick with one story I wasn't a serious writer. Like switching projects was a bad work habit and I'd never finish anything if I worked this way. But lots of serious writers juggle at least two or more projects. (I loved hearing Janga describe her non linear writing last week.) Pick whichever is making you the most excited and just save your ideas in different folders for different projects.
That's true, Sabrina. Janga wrote about it... If you missed it...due to the brain stuff, I'll find it and forward it to you.
Should help you see that you aren't unusual.
Or mad like me. ;)
First off - I DO NOT! He's a cutie (Federer that is.)
Sabrina - The best thing you did was write down all those ideas. I'm terrible about not doing that. So kudos for that. And I agree with Melissa, write the story that wants to be written. When I'm asked why I don't write anything other than Contemp, the honest answer is that no other kinds of stories come to me.
If that story is talking that loud, I'd say give it the foreground for a while and the other will still be there when you're ready to go back.
Now, can I have the chicken parm instead?
A horse named Parm!
I had a Big Mac fer lunch. A horse named Mac! But it be my last. When I return ta Santa Cruz I'm startin' the diet.
Get this...I get home and two days later my DH is flying to New York for 9 days! Business. Which is good considering a week ago he was unemployed. Well, I'm gonna get a lot of alone time to get over all the talkin' I've done here at Mum's!
And no, I really can't go wit' him. If the timin' were different, we'd figure it out. But no way, not so last moment. And I want ta go home, anyway.
Oddly enough, I can see the draw to Barbosa. He's a badass. "I refuse to acquise to your request."
(Couldn't resist.) :)
Did someone say, Federer? OMG, I love him. He's my other son. LOL!! I say that because he looks and acts just like my oldest son. Same facial expressions too. So when I watch him play, its like watching my own son. Woot!!
Sorry, I didn't get to say 'hey' back to everyone yesterday. It's good to be back on board. :)
I really thought the crew would throw me ta the sharks fer suggestin' Barbossa as sexy. Been so nice ta be proven wrong...
Soon as I be back home, I begin me campaign ta be the leader of a the sex after 50 romance movement.
I gots ta come up with a cool moniker... ;)
Welcome back aboard, Kathy!
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