Where am I again?
Last week, I had to rent a car at the airport. We were in a major hurry, we’d missed a flight, the hubby was (rightfully) thoroughly pissy with me, and it was just a mess. So I rent this car, race to the little stall it’s waiting in, shove my luggage in the back, jump in the driver’s seat, and we take off.
And about 20 minutes down the highway, I realize I don’t have the slightest idea what kind of car I’m driving. Now, I’m a car person. I’ve been known to pace behind a BMW on the highway, just so I can stare at it longer. I need to know what kind of car I’m in, what kind of engine I’m working with, what the horsepower is. I want to know if this is a car I can soar around people in, or if I’m going to push the gas and slowly creep forward. 
And I’ve got no clue. This was very disconcerting for me. I could conclude I was in a Chevy, from the markings on the horn. I knew it was red from looking at the hood. I knew it’s a teeny-tiny four door from trying to shoe-horn my luggage in the back seat. That’s all I had.
Recently, I had a contest judge mention in her comments that I was excellent at description, but terrible at setting. This kind of stumped me for a while, as you normally hear those words together. Description & setting – they go hand in hand. Kind of like PB&J. Nobody eats a jelly sandwich (though I have been known to eat peanut butter sandwiches….)
Anyway, my point is that this experience in an unknown rental car really drove home for me the difference. I had all sorts of description available to me: the April sun glinting off the cheery red paint on the hood; the gold trapezoid Chevy emblem blazing on the horn; the soft gray, velvet texture of the seats. But I had no setting. No big picture. And it drove me nuts that I had no idea what car I was in (it was a Cobalt, I finally figured out later).
I had a critique partner complain about this very thing. After reading my prologue, she knew they were in a loud, dusty city. She noticed the head scarves and the soldiers. But she was still working under the assumption that the book was based somewhere in the United States, and just assumed I was talking about somewhere out in Nevada or Arizona. When I said no, they’re in Baghdad, she cracked up laughing, because it was so obvious *after* she got the setting. But without it, she was driving down the road in a red car, with no other information.
So which are you better at, description or setting? Is there one that’s easier for you to write? Do you prefer more of one to the other when reading? Got any examples of authors that make the setting come alive for you? Any tricks for remembering to add in the big picture through setting so I no longer have readers thinking my Iraqi soldiers are in Albuquerque?
Books by the Crew
30 comments:
Car lovers unite! I'm currently lusting after a Morgan Aero...
I tend to be drawn to description more than setting. But you're right, it's weird to think of them separately or have issue with one more than the other! While I love description I need to do a better job of getting it in my writing. I'm looking for any tips I can get! :) Great post!
I had the same thing pointed out to me recently! Had the descriptive detail down, but my reader asked right off... "Where is this happening and when?"
OH. Did it again just past the prologue. I tend to think too many details is info dumping...but I guess not when it comes to specific details like year and country. Duh.
Well, I knew! I haven't noticed anyone doing the same thing that I read...but I'm terrible at noticing much other than a story when I'm reading. I really suck at making notes. I like something or I don't, terrible at the why or why not!
I will be more aware of when I disconnect the descriptives from the setting from now on... I know that!
Stephanie, I'm with you over the Morgan Aero!
The cars are built just a few miles from my home and I drool just looking at them as they accelerate past me. There is a waiting list but I think I might put my name down. If I can't find the fifty grand when required I might be able to sell my waiting list place on the options market!
There would definitely be no confusion over identity if lucky enough to hire one of those at the airport!
Sorry, back to Setting and Description.
I think a short prologue is the perfect way to introduce the setting. For example:
James Bond puts down his newspaper with a sigh. The headlines show pictures of the latest Bin-laden outrage. He smiles whimsically and heads to Q's laboratory to pick up the latest gadget, before boarding a civilian flight heading for Pakistan.
Flying low over the Himalayas, the port engine stutters. Panic breaks out. A glamorous lady with a hint of a Russian accent brushes gently against him and smiles seductively as she forces her way up the aisle to the control cabin.......
What do you think? :D
I would have been fine with the... oh the car is red. (says the non-driver.)
I usually treat the two inclusively. Maybe I've mastered both w/o realizing they are two separate things? My descriptions are very vivid, it was the first thing I perfected. Maybe it's all in the way you describe something that lends to the actual setting?
Q I am SO jealous! Lucky you! It would just be fantastic to see one in person instead of looking at the car on an internet page. ::sigh:: When you get one, can I drive it just once? :)
I just read something with fantastic description and setting after I posted last night but I was in that half asleep phase and I can't recall what book it was out of the 10 that are sitting on my nightstand...
I grew up with a gear head for a dad so I love cars. That scene in Transformers when Bumblebee morphs into the new Camero gets me everytime.
I write contemporary so I guess I think of the time as right now. That is, whenever the reader is reading is when it's happening. Which has its own complications, but that's my goal. I'm not sure about how well I establish the place. I think I mention my hero drove 13 hours from Alabama to our location and I think I establish that the current location isn't far from Norfolk, but then that might all be in the original beginning I deleted. LOL!
I has so much work to do when I get back to this.
*LOL* I love this blog...hilarious! *LOL* And a great analogy.
I stink at both these items, but if I had to pick one over the other, I'd pick description. I think I have a flair for the dramatic line that sums up something descriptively. But usually to do setting, I do something like: PRESENT DAY or London, 1814, and then go from there.
I am somewhat conscious of when I write contemporaries, to include details of things that are the social collective or things we'd talk about. (Harry Potter, Pirates of the Carribean.) But I'm more hesitant to reference some TV shows because you never know when they might be cancelled...or be something the reader never heard of. You can be relatively certain they've heard of Harry or Jack.
Referencing George Clooney usually isn't something outside the realm of knowing either. *LOL*
Stephanie - that is certainly a car worth lusting over! I love description as well, but for some reason, it's hard for me to add in. I have to go back and look for spots where it's necessary and shove it in *g*
2nd - Glad I'm not the only one with this problem! This is why I love craft books - they explain a problem, and then show good and bad examples (well, the good craft books do, anyway). It's made me able to spot what does and doesn't work when reading. Of course, the trade of is that it's very hard to get drawn into a story now, as the editor in my head won't shut up. So enjoy that innocence in reading while you have it! :)
Q - another car lover! Man, I would kill just to see one of those accelerate past me in person. Then again, being the one to hold down the gas pedal would be even better *g* My older brother was a professional race car driver, and he taught me how to drive. I definitely have a lead foot :)
I love your example - excellent setting. We know exactly where Bond is. And there has to be a beautiful Russian woman in a Bond setting.
By the way, would you mind if I emailed you some bizarre questions about British elections sometime?
Tiff - that's great that you've mastered description. Always good to know our strengths! Got any advice for us on how to add it in and make it sound natural?
Ter - another car lover *g*. That's an excellent scene in Transformers. I love the looks on their faces when they see the car - lol!
I write contemps too, so my issue is also place more than time. Except this current novel, I've got all this weird chronological stuff going on, so I'm having to add notes to the beginning of each scene for setting - just a quick "Present Day. Castlewellen, Northern Ireland" kind of thing. It feels a bit like cheating, but hey, it gets the setting across!
LOL! Hal, what a great way to describe this. :) I know exactly what you mean.
I don't over describe, that's for sure. Mostly because I find writers who go into too much description annoying. I don't personally enjoys sweeping, grandiose writing. I even get annoyed when people use too many words to say something. Concise and clear works best for me. (Maybe from my years as an English teacher....) I could see how that would annoy some more description-desiring readers.
I think I manage setting okay.
As for you, Hal, you write very deep POV. I think a character would rarely think, "I'm in Baghdad." The same as a character rarely thinks about their own eye color or hair color or whatever.
PS. As I stated above, I don't like too much description but many do. I, in no way, aim to represent everyone or assume others feel exactly the same. Whatever floats the boat, ya know?
Hellie - I use the quick line at the top too. It works great for historicals.
Yeah, I doubt anyone will have forgotten about Harry Potter in 20 years. It would be like our generation forgetting about Star Wars. And TV shows come and go so fast -- though you could probably get away with mentioning Friends or Seinfeld. But then again, both of those would date you back in the 90's so that doesn't really work *g*. There doesn't seem to be newer shows that are so well known as older ones. I guess American Idol could do the trick....lol!
Have you ever noticed the way clothes are described in novels? It cracks me up to read something from the 90's and see this beautiful description of a denim jumper with tights :)
Good point Marn - about thinking about where you are. I mean, who wakes up in the morning and thinks, "It's a good day to live in Salisbury, Maryland." LOL!
I know what you mean about too much description - I'm not one for being overly flowery either. I was re-reading an SEP book over vacation, and as much as I love her stories, her description was killing me. I kept finding whole paragraphs used to describe a room or a person.
I think the trick (for me at least), is to mix it up - a little here, a little there. So it fits in without pulling the reader out of the story to describe where they are or what they're supposed to be seeing. If that makes any sense :)
Marn - I think part of it is voice too. Anna Campbell, for instance, does a lot of flowery speech and descriptions, but it fits so well with her voice, and never pulls me out of the story, so it works. If you or I tried to add in poetic descriptions of the moon, it would clash so badly with our voice it would be jarring, you know? Now if someone was using the moonlight to better aim their sniper rifle, I might be able to pull it off....lol!
I think you're absolutely right about the voice thing. We do have similar voices like that I think. As I was rereading my stuff this weekend, any time I found stuff that was too descriptive or flowery or well, purple, I ended up cutting it. It just doesn't sound right from me. I think I'm too straightforward for it. LOL!
And I LOVE LOVE tghe image of the moonlight to aim a sniper rifle. You should use that.
I might have to -- the glint of the moon off the black, metal tip of the sight. The shifting of the shadows right before the target steps into the gold pool of a street light...
Lovely! :) I love street light....
I'm a car person. I would have asked what model and make the car was before I ever signed the papers or snagged the keys. I'm all about driving a cool car on vacation, it tends to curb my home lust of cars.
I'm terrible at description but good at emotions and dialogue, so I'm useless to your setting woes:)I use too many metaphors in my descriptions. Excellent blog!
California, Central Coast, present day
I think that works! If I describe it in detail, you'll get jealous and throw rum bottles at me. ;)
Thou if someone uncovers our archives in the distant future, they'd have to find specifici reference to understand what present day is...
OK.
California, Central Coast, 2009. A Monday, in the am... 1/2 a mile from the crashing surf...
Too much?
Too much description does overwhelme me. I like good writing, but what I've noticed lately is a tendancy to scan paragraphs that don't contain some sort of action or dialogue. I'm not going to say they are bad writers, I'm a lazy reader.
I'm working hard to keep that in mind as I write. We have such a struggle to maintain the hold on attention since there is so much competition out there right now.
Lisa - normally, I'm the same way. But this was such a rush job with the rental, I just said, "give me a compact" and went with it. Though as we were pulling out, I saw this beautiful convertible... lol!
We should find a way to do a mind-meld *g* I can do description, but lack any ability to come up with metaphors. If we could join brains, we'd be unstoppable!
Chance - I do the same thing. Start skimming until I see the next quotation mark. It comes out in my writing too - I have very little sections that don't include dialog of some form. Though this week, I've found myself writing quite a few long, introspective passages. More than likely they'll get nixed, but it was nice to mix it up and do the opposite of what I usually do for a bit, you know?
And of course, you not only run into the problems with "what is present day", but issues with the title of the setting. For instance, I have no idea what "Central Coast" means for California. Is that somewhere in wine country? (I have no idea where "wine country" is either, but I've heard that used before - lol!). Just like I started to add a setting tag that said "Western Shore of Maryland." Then I realized that only someone from here would know what the heck "western shore" means, as Maryland is quite obviously on the *East* coast. Then again, anyone from Maryland would think it odd if I labeled it "West coast of the Chesapeake Bay" instead of just "Western Shore." Grrrrrrrrrr....
I live on the Bay and thought it was only the Eastern Shore. LOL!
I think our tolerance for description has changed from days of old. I grew up reading sweeping epics by Woodiwiss and today the slightest bit of anything considered long and sweeping is nixed. I listened to a Susan Wiggs book and though I liked the story, the long descriptions actually had me sitting in my car saying, "Oh, come on, get on with it already." I have no idea if I'd have the same reaction reading as I did listening to someone else read it.
Personally, I'm a fan of the give the setting at the beginning of the chapter thing. It's easier for me too.
Ha! Course, my California rose ta the challenge.
Central Coast of California, half way down that long bit of the Pacific. Closer ta San Francisco than Los Angeles. Just far enough from the more conservative southland of the LA basin to be free thinking, but not so close to San Francisco to be considered part of the true lunatic left coast.
Hee, hee.
Wine Country? That be a bit tougher... Departing the city of San Francisco, one leaves the coast behind and finds several lush valleys full of the fruitful vine north of the Golden Gate. Not quite to the heated valley of Sacramento and the Delta river system, the Napa and Sonoma Valleys cater to the wine crowds.
I actually get the idea of the West coast of Maryland...
I used to love the long lovely descriptive bits. I don't know when that all faded in attraction.
And I have a confession to make. I really don't like books on how to write.
*ducking behind the bar
I know! I know! I just suck at seeing the connection to what I'm writing and I find they make me sleepy...
ps - and I know that no matter how much I love craft books, they're not for everyone. Not trying to make you feel guilty or anything!
Chance - okay, now I'm starting to get California geography - thanks! And I know you don't like craft books *g* Just throwing out another reason why they might be fun to try :)
I wish I could use them! I wish they worked for me... I'm going to buy two of the best, that GMC one and another I already got in RT and keep them handy. (Don't remember what it was, waiting for my box to arrive from UPS.) Maybe I can use them for source books and sneak into them that way...
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