Sunday, May 10, 2009
give it to me dirty, baby
Hello, I'm Coxswain Hal, and I have a potty mouth.
Who's with me? Anybody else find horribly filthy things flying out of their mouth with shocking regularity? I've realized this comes out in my writing. I had a critique partner tell me, "I know this is set in Ireland and all, and they use the f-word more than us, but I still think you might have overdone it."
I tried to write one heroine who didn't swear, and I was surprised just how much more difficult her dialog became, when I couldn't fall back on a good, "damn," or anything else.
In my current WIP, I have a lot of different cultures going on. I have American characters, Irish characters, Palestinian characters, some Brits thrown in...and it's taken a lot of research to make each nationality sound authentic in their dialog, without over doing it.
This week, I needed a good, virulent curse in Arabic. I had a baddie who was going to spit on the ground and say something really...bad. And the only thing I could think of was "f--- you", so I checked how to translate that. And wow, do Arab speakers have a lot of ways to say that.
***Warning: Graphic language ahead***
In English, I don't feel like we have a lot of really creative curses. We throw around "fuck you" a lot, and "ass hat." I've been known to combine those when cut off on the highway by a particularly pathetic driver. But it wasn't until I started looking at those Arabic curses that I realized just how boring we are when it comes to being mean.
For instance, when looking up Arabic curses, I stumbled upon this gem:
I will stick my dick in your god and pray he ejaculates on your head.
Seriously. The blasphemous nature aside, that's pretty freakin creative.
Here's a couple more great ones:
May a thousand rabid monkeys beat the drums on your mother's vagina.
May angry camels mount you from both sides. (I'm sorry, but that one just sounds painful!).
I will cut off your cock and use it instead of an onion on my grill.
I hope that 60,000 dicks will dance on your mother's pussy.
And these are just the ones in Arabic! How about those Italians? They even have hand gestures to along with the curses (and some pretty inventive hand gestures at that). When looking at Irish curses, I found this little beauty:
May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat.
In English, I feel like we rely on just stringing together the worst curse words we can think of into one long stream. It's dirty, a bit funny, but not nearly as entertaining as some of these. I've managed to work several of these into my writing, and I can't wait until I can find some room for some more.
So, let's have some fun to liven up our Monday morning. What's the best curse you've heard? Or better yet, let's see you make one up! What's the worst thing you could imagine happening to someone? (personally, I think the whole grilling someone's penis like an onion might take the cake on the painful front, though the camel-mounting isn't good either). So ladies, what have you got?
Who's with me? Anybody else find horribly filthy things flying out of their mouth with shocking regularity? I've realized this comes out in my writing. I had a critique partner tell me, "I know this is set in Ireland and all, and they use the f-word more than us, but I still think you might have overdone it."
I tried to write one heroine who didn't swear, and I was surprised just how much more difficult her dialog became, when I couldn't fall back on a good, "damn," or anything else.
In my current WIP, I have a lot of different cultures going on. I have American characters, Irish characters, Palestinian characters, some Brits thrown in...and it's taken a lot of research to make each nationality sound authentic in their dialog, without over doing it.
This week, I needed a good, virulent curse in Arabic. I had a baddie who was going to spit on the ground and say something really...bad. And the only thing I could think of was "f--- you", so I checked how to translate that. And wow, do Arab speakers have a lot of ways to say that.
***Warning: Graphic language ahead***
In English, I don't feel like we have a lot of really creative curses. We throw around "fuck you" a lot, and "ass hat." I've been known to combine those when cut off on the highway by a particularly pathetic driver. But it wasn't until I started looking at those Arabic curses that I realized just how boring we are when it comes to being mean.
For instance, when looking up Arabic curses, I stumbled upon this gem:
I will stick my dick in your god and pray he ejaculates on your head.
Seriously. The blasphemous nature aside, that's pretty freakin creative.
Here's a couple more great ones:
May a thousand rabid monkeys beat the drums on your mother's vagina.
May angry camels mount you from both sides. (I'm sorry, but that one just sounds painful!).
I will cut off your cock and use it instead of an onion on my grill.
I hope that 60,000 dicks will dance on your mother's pussy.
And these are just the ones in Arabic! How about those Italians? They even have hand gestures to along with the curses (and some pretty inventive hand gestures at that). When looking at Irish curses, I found this little beauty:
May the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat.
In English, I feel like we rely on just stringing together the worst curse words we can think of into one long stream. It's dirty, a bit funny, but not nearly as entertaining as some of these. I've managed to work several of these into my writing, and I can't wait until I can find some room for some more.
So, let's have some fun to liven up our Monday morning. What's the best curse you've heard? Or better yet, let's see you make one up! What's the worst thing you could imagine happening to someone? (personally, I think the whole grilling someone's penis like an onion might take the cake on the painful front, though the camel-mounting isn't good either). So ladies, what have you got?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Books by the Crew
31 comments:
Oh! Yeah. One I don't quite 'member right, from a movie, I think. Somethin' 'long the lines of... "I'll rip yer head off and take a shit down yer neck..."
Something like that...
Me DH likes one from Waterworld. "He's a like a turd that won't flush!"
But the Arab ones I've read do take the 'magination on a spin... So many things ta do with a camel! Who knew?
I don't much like Anglo Saxon insults. Or the Arabic equivalent...much too crude.
Action always speaks louder than words:
"You Sir are a beer swilling cad."
*spits in his drink*
"I demand satisfaction....pistols at dawn"
*icy smile as he downs his scotch*
This blog is a bad influence on a Monday morning. I always start out Monday thinking I'm not going to let my mouth go all potty. It lasts until about 8:30 am and then the *hit hits the fan:)
Who knew the Arabs were so inventive! Wowza. That's some heavy attitude.
I can't think of anything so inventive, but I have the same problem with dialogue. My characters curse way too much.
One of my fav movie lines is from Batman. When Jack Nicholson plays the joker and proclaims "This town needs an enema!" Kind of corny, but hey, I'm that way.
I also have a potty mouth. I've enjoyed this contemporary so I can use all my favorites. LOL!
One of DH and my favorites right now is the douche chill. Like when you're watching the first round of American Idol and the singers are so bad - and they don't seem to realize it - that you feel horrible for them. That feeling, that you can't watch but you can't look away, is the douche chill. Gives ya the chills like a douche.
Besides that, not too inventive, but I can appreciate the creativity of the Arabs and the Italians.
I love the Brits' way of cursing vinegar and code of honor all in one breath. I go through phases as to what I'll say. Right now, it's 'Piss Ass'. When I'm really upset, it's 'Piss ass m-f***er'. Monkey spots, is another word of horse sh*t. You should hear the kids giggle. They never know what will come out, then again, neither do I. It just kind of spills out.
Renee
You know, usually I could come up with fifty million nice nasty little sayings. I'm drawing a blank this morning.
Chance -- wow, those are both gross ones! LOL! You know this blog was just for you, right? :)
What a great blog! Sorry I'm late, moving through quick sand this morning.
This reminds me of the end of Inside the Actors Studio when they ask all the stars about their favorite curse words. I've been throwing around "fuck me running" a lot lately. But in an effort not to curse is where my creativity comes in. Things like "crime-in-Italy" said really fast so it sounds like one word. Comes out as cryminitly. Jeeminy Christmas is another one. (You can tell this is from years of my Catholic grandmother yelling "don't take the Lord's name in vein!")
I learned "shit fire" while living in AR so it comes out sounding like "shit far". When I'm driving is probably when the language gets the most colorful, but nothing like those Arabs and Italians. Reminds me of those insults Klinger used to throw around on M*A*S*H. LOL!
Q - Wonderful scene! You're right, there's something very classy about calling someone out that way. Not much is classy about those Arab insults, is there? LOL!
Lisa - "This town needs an enema"?? I love it! Wow, that just paints an image in your head, doesn't it? Eek.
Sorry I'm not helping on your quest to not curse. You work in the OR, right? I'll bet there's a lot of cursing that goes on in there. It seems like the kind of job where cursing would be necessary.
Marn - "Gives ya the chills like a douche" LMAO!!! that's freakin hilarious! And I do the same thing - I feel so bad watching those AI auditions, because half those people are really devastated, but you can't look away!
I don't feel like your characters curse a lot, though. We should track you down some old Roman curses :)
I have faith in you Sin - keep thinking. I'm sure you'll come up with a couple doozies to wow us all!
Excellent examples Renee! I definitely understand about spilling out - especially in the car. My little nephews have heard all sorts of things spill out of my mouth while driving :)
Ter - Yep, it's the driving. It brings out the worst in me too. I have terrible road rage *g*. I like 'f--- me running'. That seems such a perfectly sarcastic thing to say!
Oh, I forgot my favorite curse word. (And why are we prettying them up? LOL! Let fly, wenches!)
My favorite is clusterfuck. It's can describe a visual, a situation, and an emotion. LOL! Talk about utilitarian.
Though not considered a curse word, I love FUBAR. Hal, I'm sure your guys would use that one. LOL!
Ah! Old Greek sayings, that would be awesome. I hadn't even thought of that. I figure that cursing is one of those things that evolves. :)
PS. I loved the camel. Strange looking creatures.
Marn - Greek, not Roman. Right :) I'd think after being alive for 2,000 years, cursing would evolve. But we all fall back on those things we grew up saying, you know?
clusterfuck! I love that word. You're right, it can be used in so many situations. And yeah, my guys like FUBAR. it really just sums up a situation concisely, you know? lol!
Forgot to say I love those signs in that picture. They are everywhere here. I used to only see them at the beach, but yesterday I saw one at the mall. LOL! I've never seen them anywhere but here.
oh really? I just thought it was fake - I didn't know they were actually up anywhere. That's funny!
Yep, they are the anti-cursing signs posted all around the beach here in VA Beach. There's a ton of them, but I'm not sure how many people actually obey them. :)
Yeah, I'm not sure I would obey them either. It's a nice idea, though! Good for the family atmosphere and all *g*
I cannot imagine an anti-cursing sign anywhere in Santa Cruz. That would just invite an actual cluster cursing competition, I am certain of it.
I just realized, I saw the new Star Trek movie on Friday and I can't remember if I heard any cursing! I know Gene Rodenberry kept things tame in his reign, but I wonder if... I gots ta go see it a'gin and listen fer some imaginative space curses...
BTW, was a good movie. I like seeing Eomer as Bones...man, he was fast with the hypo!
Hal - thanks fer thinkin' a me. I love hearin' a good curse. I try ta think a' 'nice' ones fer me Caribbean pirate to say. Satan's Balls was one I used...but without bein' all cliche, it be hard ta come up with ones that I likes.
Yeah, as a mother of a small person in the repetition phase, it can be a bit disconcerting when my little guy overhears something and repeats.
Asshole sounds better out of the mouth of an adult than it does out of a 2 year old. And when he repeated it after hearing someone on the phone at Target, well, I looked like the biggest piece of white trash on the planet.
Ah parenthood.
Don't be silly, everyone within earshot thought that was totally adorable. LOL!
But sometimes it's not even the cursing. I remember the morning when Kiddo was 3 or 4 and walked into the (Methodist Church) daycare singing, "I like your pants around your feet..."
Curses to Nickelback! LOL!
Oh, Terrio! That is hilarious. Did you talk your way out of that one?
"New character on this kids show...walks around with his pants at his ankles...it's just so funny... They call him Pantsie..."
Uh huh.
Luckily, she sang that line before we got inside so I had time to explain that was a CAR ONLY song and she was not to sing it around anyone else. LOL!
A car only song...hmmmm. Ya know, there's gonna be a time when that will come back ta bite ya on the butt, too!
Sorry for the late log on. This has been a long day.
I don't know if I can narrow it down to my favorite curse word. Clearly the F-bomb is my favorite because I drop it like cherry bombs rather than A-bombs.
When I'm with people and I shouldn't be cussing--you know, say a Baptist or something--and I'm trying to reign it in but failing. I enjoy when those people cuss because it's so unexpected. I cuss so much that when I actually use something creative, everyone is just surprised. "Wow, Hellion, that one had four syllables in it! I didn't know you knew any four syllable words!"
Speaking of Nickelback, Terri corrupted me with some of their songs over the vacation...much to my delight.
Four syllables - lol! I find it hilarious when my mother-in-law throws out a swear word. She's such a sweet, quiet woman (and a librarian), that when one comes out, it's such a shock it's funny.
And everyone needs to be corrupted by Nickleback :)
Correction - I did not corrupt as corrupted the Captain is redundant. I simply educated. :)
What wrong with the line "slap John Deere across my ass and ride me up and down the lawn"? LOL!
And she's totally right about that f-bomb. It's a good thing my 9 yr old is used to it. :)
Post a Comment