BEING YOUR OWN WRITING SHRINK or HOW TO PAD THE SHARP EDGES IN YOUR WRITING SLUMP by J Perry Stone
For some writers, going through a creative slump can mean the difference between hanging up your keyboard forever … and buying a llama. Impulse shop therapy anyone? Is that even right?
Anyway, consider me slumped. Well and truly. And though I can’t go into every detail that got me in this downward spiral, the consequences to my writing haven’t been so much fun. So I was polishing the first 100 pages of my book in preparation for submitting it to an agent, and suddenly I became struck with how much it all read like the back of a cereal box. All light and sugary, snap and crackle … and not in the tingly way either.
Now I could easily go into fetal position, but I’ve learned some methods through my other slumps to keep me upright, things that will help protect me until I’m able to come up for air.
1) Your perceptions of your ability sway according to your mood:
Actually, this is a Buddhist thought: “Everything that appears to your mind is the nature of your mind.” In a bad mood? You read your pages in that mood and then imagine them rolled up like toity paper, perfectly suited for someone’s ass. But here’s another Buddhist thought: “You can only trust a happy mind.” Don’t pick the day you feel your life is careening out of control to analyze your artistic skill. Pick the day you’re pleased and content. If you do, I promise you’ll have a more realistic picture of what you’ve done well, in addition to what you can improve upon. A happy mind is one that does not distort. It sees things as they truly are. And when I get in that happy mood, I’ll go back to my pages and let you know. Right now, I’m waiting.
2) Do not show your pages to the resident pit viper:
Don’t do it. She may seem like she knows every in and out of publishing, every literary device that makes a romance work, as well as every hot name in the biz, but she also has an ASP TONGUE and is cold-blooded to boot. She could potentially poison your fragile efforts. It’s been said before, but writing is a deeply personal endeavor. Every imagined scenario, every conversation, your choice of characters’ apparel even (not to mention your literary skill) is a personal reflection of you. She wears yellow because I like yellow. He backs her up against the wall because I want to be backed up against the wall. When you write, you’re not just creating something and then letting it go. You are imprinting yourself on the page. As such, you will feel every strike upon your writing as though your nerves run through the paper fibers. That isn’t to say don’t get a critique partner, but do be careful in the choosing of one. Pick someone who loves you, who sees your potential, but can express your shortcomings in such a way as to encourage you rather than cause you to develop writing necrosis. Only you know what you can and cannot take, but don’t go waving your bared skin in front of a snake and expect not to get bit.
3) Acknowledge that some things are more important than writing:
Shocking, I know. Writing is your life. Your passion. Your destiny … but guess what? People are more important. Relationships with your loved ones are more important. Period. That doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t respect your writing dreams and established writing schedule, but you should know when to turn the monitor off. Family crisis? Off. For weeks at a time maybe. People need to know they come first. They have to because just like your characters in search of love, you need to recognize when real love is asking for your time, be they kids, spouse or friend. What’s more, as a romance writer, you are like an ambassador of love. If you don’t respect it in your own life, how the hell can you depict it well in a book?
So how about you? What are your tricks for padding the sharp edges in your writing slumps? I’m all ears, believe me.
Books by the Crew
29 comments:
My sympathies J Perry!
Spiralling in to a black hole is the worst fate imaginable. The dark forces will tear you apart, shred your soul and there is no escape. Once you cross that event horizon you are doomed. Or this was the original theory.
Cosmologists are very inventive though and now think that if you fall in to a black hole you might just emerge in to another universe, in another time. So there is hope.
The ultimate theory of Quantum Gravity still eludes us however, so no-one can really be sure how to escape from a black hole.
If you figure it out please let us know! *grin*
Hey Jp.
Great post. I can completely relate... My way of digging out of the hole (which I am currently working at) is to connect with other writers. Listen, learn, read. I know it sounds way to simple and maybe it is, which is why it can be so darn hard. (don't you love how writers talk in circles...)
I am also trying to work at that people thing. It's way too easy to crawl into a deep dark hole and try to WRITE your way out of it. Trouble is, you are left even emptying because all your loved ones no longer want to talk to you...
Thanks for this reminder. I will definitely need to work harder on the friend and family connection.
Tami
Q, I actually have an answer for you. Maybe if I feel burdened enough, to the degree that my mass counteracts the black hole, maybe then I'll survive, because let me tell you, I sometimes feel like I'm carrying a small planet on my shoulders.
Tami, you're absolutely correct about connecting with other writers. I always forget to do that. I go all undercover and forget that if I actually reached out, I could probably get out of my slump quicker.
I do love this blog. Especially since I've been doing a lot of impulse buying lately. Happy to report - NO llamas. LOL!
I haven't had time to get into a slump yet, but I do worry about it. Once July comes and all my other commitments are pretty much gone, will I be able to write. I know I want to and the stories are CONSTANTLY swimming in my brain, still being patient, but will they be there when I'm ready for them? Or will they have moved on and given up on me? LOL!
I love this blog too! Great, JP. :)
I really like the snake one. I laughed at that.
I think some of the best advice for a writing slump is to try something completely different. Write poetry or letters. Write in a journal. Take the pressure off. Sometimes if I get in a slump it's because I have performance anxiety. If I take the pressure off, it can get my creative juices going. :)
Marn, now all I can think of is this guy with "performance anxiety" trying to do something in an unorthodox manner.
I'm so sorry I'm so dirty.
On the other hand (oh no!), I do think you're correct. Being forced to write this blog, for instance, has suddenly got my writing gears oiled.
(Nobody say ANYTHING about the "oiled"!)
LOL! JP, that's hilarious. And I think blogs help because they give you a sec to switch gears. It can be useful, I think.
I won't mention that I thought the exact same thing. LOL! It's those two words - Performance Anxiety. They just lend to that sort of thinking...
*biting tongue on the "oiled" comment*
Mornin' y'all.
JP, I feel your pain.
Mattycakes complains a lot when I'm writing. Mostly says, *sigh* "Why do you hate me?"
Me *grrr, sigh*, "I never said I hated you. Would you like to me hate you?"
Mattycakes "Then why do you ignore me?"
"I DON'T IGNORE YOU!"
How is this any different from him ignoring me while he stares blankly at the TV for hours? IT'S NOT! Since I don't have much time, have already move my schedule to sleeping less than 6 hours a night, writing becomes a sacrifice of family time. I hate that. I feel disconnected with real life if I'm writing. If I'm not writing, I feel disconnected with myself. Something has to give eventually, right?
Sin - I think you just hit on a blog topic we haven't touched on - the support system at home. It's so important for this to work. My kiddo complains now about all the time I spend doing homework. I feel bad but I know I have to do it to make our lives better. Not sure how I'll justify when that time gets shifted to writing. *sigh*
Hang in there, girl. Something will give and it'll all work out. Have faith!
Here in lies the problem. It doesn't bother me that he says that until I'm sucking air like a guppy dying on the beach. It does nothing for writing confidence to listen to someone tell you that you're ignoring them. Ignoring everyone to spend time on the computer. But you bet your ass if I ever did write something and it sold, he'd be the first in line to say he supported me the whole way.
I hate men.
Ugh.
I love this J (and your dirty mind is cracking me up). I must absolutely agree with #1 - I get overly stressed out easily, and I learned long ago never to trust my decision-making skills when I'm having a complete "freak-out" day. Somehow, that didn't translate to "don't judge your writing on freak-out days." Excellent advice!
And #2 is sooooo true. I made that mistake once, showed it to the wrong person, and couldn't write for weeks I was so horrified by his comments. I still have a voodoo doll of him (complete with 27 pins to the crotch) on my desktop :) )
Love the blog, J! Your timing was perfect for me too. I woke up fretting because two minor family crises have taken over two days that I had blocked out as writing days. My scripture passage today reminded me that I am "called to bless," and your reminder that people are more important reinforced the idea. I've ended the pity party. :)
I laughed at the pit viper reference too. It is so true. I read Deanna Raybourn's blog regularly, and she wrote something back in January that I copied and put on my desk. I reread it frequently.
"Oh, be careful, I beg you. Your ego as a writer is a fragile thing, and it is important to protect it. I'm not saying that constructive criticism is a bad thing. In fact, it's the ONLY thing if you want to sharpen your skills. But you must be very, VERY careful about where this criticism comes from. . . . It is hard, so hard, to resist the urge to show what you've written. We want to brandish our manuscript like a newborn, crowing "Look what I did!" But think how you'd feel if someone told you your beloved newborn was ugly or imperfect. It wouldn't affect how much you love it, but it would dull the edge of your enthusiasm and believe me, enthusiasm is one of the writer's strongest weapons against long hours, ennui, discouragement, and depression. So what I'm saying is choose wisely. Assemble a team of people who can help you and don't be surprised if this team is much smaller than you expect. Be exclusive with yourself and don't give up your power so easily."
Sing it to me, sistas...and Q! I am constantly fighting this demon. Being bitten by the viper is bad enough. What is worse is letting yourself believe that you'll never recover is even worse. I show my work to no one now. NO ONE. Ash J. She's constantly after me to read what I have so far and my reply is 'Wait, I still have to polish it.'
What I commit myself to do is getting out of the house and getting to my writing places. Home isn't it. I also remember to reconnect to my chapter who are among the most talented and enthusiastic people you could ever what to meet. I gotta learn to be more grateful for them. And for you guys. And for my buddies at VANO. And, I have to say it, for the Squawkers. I'm not name dropping here (not one word and you know who you are) but their own love of the written word and their advice, though years old, are what inspired me and gave me the push I needed in the first place.
So what I'm saying is re-visit the well and do it frequently.
Sin - I don't think your confidence is what is taking a hit here. You know you can write even if you experience periods of doubt. It's your commitment that's being tested. Matty seems to be whining as if you're ignoring him for some unimportant hobby. And this makes you question what it is you're trying to do.
You have to believe this is real and important, then find a way to convince Matty as well. No idea how you do that, and I'm probably talking out my ass (no comments J!), but I have to believe there's a solution here somewhere.
Hal - I have to ask, is there some significance to the number 27? LOL! I think we've all made the mistake of showing stuff to the wrong person(s). I always love when someone reads your stuff then gives you back all these ideas that are basically the plot of a totally different book. I'm finally managed to find the strength to say, "I'm sure that would be a lovely story and maybe you should write it some time, but that's not my story." With a smile, of course. :)
Janga - I've never read Deanna's books or blog, but I know she's an amazing and gracious author from everything I've heard. That is very sound advice. That ego IS so fragile, it should come with a little "handle with care" sticker.
I can testify that I've never seen anything Santa has written (except her blogs...lol). She holds her stuff close, but then I learned the hard way and feel the same. I can't see the point in showing anyone my first draft. It would be like having my portrait taken before doing my hair and make up!
Not gonna happen!
This blog is brilliant and hilarious...and being I was logged in, reading it at a work meeting and I was struggling not to laugh so hard I spewed water out my nose--well, let's just say, I had some trouble "blending in."
I concur on all levels...and I too am happy to report: NO llamas. I do have a lot of JoAnn's patterns, as if I'm suddenly going to start seamstressing instead. Right. (It amazes me how much I forget how difficult one craft is once I'm immersed in a different one. I think I can return to the original craft, believing it's easier, but once there, hip deep in fabric, bobbins, and pins, I realize I'm a moron. Sewing is just as hard as writing. There are no shortcuts here either if you want a beautiful project. You just have to keep doing it and give yourself over to the process, no matter how much you may hate that part of the process. Like ironing. You really need to IRON when you sew...and for years I skipped it as a step and for years I ended up with half-ass projects. The year I actually ironed something? Turned out great. It's really annoying. Moral: All crafts have an ICKY No-one-likes-this-part PART. Suck it up.)
I'm considered a voodoo doll--except that I also am leery of Ouija boards and voodoo dolls are like that for me. Don't mess with things you don't understand; don't underestimate what is actually out there just because you can't "see" it.
So I stick to Damnit Dolls. Which is a floppy little doll you can make, name it after the pit viper, and whenever she comes over and does her Jellyfish commentary (ref: Bridget Jones), you can just start beating that doll against your desk, much like you'd like to do to the viper. If you were a violent person, of course, which we know you're not. And I'm not. *hiding damnit doll*
Oh JP how I love your insight! I had the terrible spiral pretty much all of last year and I'm just now clawing my way out. That WIP from the last conference? Yes...still working on that. I really can't say how I've started to get myself out. I think I just felt sorry for myself -- that whole perception thing -- and I decided to ditch my bad attitude and get on the happy wagon. And I really can't stand the idea of seeing everyone on July 14th and still not having that novel complete.
That being said... when I was IN the slump I just kept connected to the community like Tami said to do. I post on blogs, read books about writing, keep writing down ideas, and I talk to writers. I figure that it's somehow sticking and when I finally get ahold of all my other issues I'll be even better armed than I was before I got in the slump.
and Janga I'm with ya... Deanna's advice was so key last summer. There's NOTHING wrong with wanting to keep one's writing to one's self for awhile. It seemed like I'd never heard that before she said it. It was one of those constant struggles (feeling unprepared but feeling like I had to let others read my work) and it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
Seriously tho, I can't wait to see everyone's work when it's PUBLISHED! :)
Sin, I can't tell you how much I hear you. I think one of the other key things is that when they see how serious you are about a certain endeavor, they start to follow suit. If you act at all apologetic, then they expect you to apologize for the time you spend doing it.
Hal, a voodoo doll is a grand idea. I wish I would've thought of that.
Janga, I'm cutting and pasting now too. Terrific advice. And the true reason I wrote #3 was to reinforce it. I'm nothing without my people.
Santa, it's time for you to show yourself. There are too many suffering people in the world in desperate need of a few hours of escape. You owe them that. And I am not the pit viper. I am YOUR people.
Terrio, I feel like those cartoon dogs whose snouts are knocked inward. The only sound is muffled. "Taking our of your ass ..." You ARE killing me, you realize?
Hellion: "You just have to keep doing it and give yourself over to the process, no matter how much you may hate that part of the process." If I had this tattooed on my brain, I never would have entered into the slump in the first place!!!
Very apt analogy, Ter. It's exactly like the picture with no makeup no. Exactly.
Stephanie, my critique partner said to me yesterday: You can't let ideas of perfection get in the way of production. Do you think that might be what happened to you? As for me, I sit and expect concertos, but in reality hear simple scales. What I keep forgetting is that concertos start with simple scales.
Hellion, where'd you get your damnit doll?
OMG, your dammit doll is Scottish.
http://www.cyberattic.com/stores/loramurrayantiques/items/566322/en1cyberattic.html
Well, being I love to procrastinate in every area of my life, I generally make my own Damnit Doll. I made one with yarn hair and green button eyes (that clicked very satisfyingly when you banged it on the desk). I gave mine arms and legs, but clearly as from the photo, they're not necessary. I personally liked seeing hte limbs flop around...
A dammit Doll! I love this - I need to create one of these for myself :)
Ter - there's no significance to 27. That may not even be the real number of pins. It just felt like a good number to throw out there *g*
Your comment about other people throwing out plot ideas is a good one. I've had that struggle recently - showing a synopsis or chapter to someone, and they come up with so many *other* plot ideas that it's suddenly a different book and not at all the one I envisioned or the one I'm excited to write. I've had to learn to force myself to stay true to *my* vision (I'm such a people pleaser I really want to make her happy, but I can't here).
Hel, I want a series of dammit judges... I see hows I made the mistake a' sendin' me children out when they wasn't ready... But ta slep 'em and send 'em back was beyond the kenin' a understandin'. Pit vipers! Aye.
But sharin' be important... I jus' be more careful from now on.
And crew...'tis healtier ta share some. Me meditation/stress class spoke a' women and how we best deal with stress (jus' file it away, Q.) Women need ta group, ta talk it out, ta deal with and move on. It be healthier than the crawl-inta-a-cave-by-meself that men do.
I be so lucky I were rescued by the Revenge crew. I were flounderin'!
Great blog! Wish I were where I could linger all day on it!
I'm going to post without reading everyone else's posts because I'm really short on time here. But, J Perry, I really wanted to say that this is a great post! It spoke to me not only as a writer but a mom, wife, woman - everything! That is great advice no matter what you apply it to and it was very much needed today! Great insights! I especially like the last paragraph. It's good to keep in focus what is really important in life! Thank you.
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