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Blog Archive
Panties on a Stick and Other Hazards of Valentine's Day Expectations
I've always been burdened with high expectations.
When I was little, they implemented that policy where students were to bring all the students in the class a card, whether they liked them or not. Politically correct Valentine's. Thus I was the recipient of relunctant valentines like, “You’re a good friend” or “You’re a little special I guess” spoken by lame cartoon characters like Tweety Bird. When I was 7, I didn't notice this trend so much; but by 6th grade, I was so aware of my lack of loveability on the valentine scale. I would stare at my heart's crush's valentine and try to read a seething passion beneath the banality of the "You're sweet" written there.
But everyone knows that "You're sweet" is the kiss of death in Valentine speak. I might as well have been told I had a nice personality.
Things did not improve with age. In high school, the height, breadth, and depth of my teenage love and angst, I was madly in love with a player of the basketball team. (The same crush from 6th grade. You couldn't doubt my loyalty.) FFA used to sell Valentine cupcakes for .50 apiece, and you could do it secretly. And what better way to win a guy than through his stomach right? Only I wasn’t the only one with a “secret crush” on Jay-Bird, and by the time Valentine’s had passed, it was a wonder he hadn’t gained twenty pounds. My .50 cupcakes never won him over, as you might have guessed.
My expectations sufficiently dashed in high school—and the 1% left for college, rubbed out in the first year—I have arrived to my thirties with a much lower expectation of the holiday. Actually no expectations. And when I see the decorations rolled out in December, I wear a perpetual sneer until the day passes and I see the candy marked 70% off, which I then buy for myself. I do gain twenty pounds. Now the sneering, negative expectations, and twenty pounds probably contributes to my lack of valentines, I may concede, but honestly, most of my married and dating friends aren’t faring much better.
And quite honestly, I’ve seen men at Christmas shopping, and they’re worse on Valentine’s Day. Women think about Valentine’s Day around December when those damned decorations are rolled out. Men think about it in the gas station line on V-Day, while glancing at the wall calendar and going, “Shit, is it Valentine’s Day today? She’s going to be pissed. Quick, what can I buy her here?” Upon glancing about the store, he arrives at this obvious choice. God help the man I’m dating if he ever hands me one of these nifty little things. Nothing says “Shit, I forgot” like polyester underwear rolled into a ball and stuck on a stick.
Okay, there was that one year I was dating the gay ex-boyfriend; and he went the whole shebang on Valentine’s. I got dinner; flowers, six boxes of chocolate; a present; and a card. I did not get any sex the whole time we dated, though, so I still didn’t enjoy that Valentine’s quite as much as I thought I would. Which goes to prove that there is no pleasing some women.
Kidding. Actually it made me think: I had every trapping of romance I’d been expecting, but I still didn’t feel loved. (I’m going to get a lot of emails about how sex does not mean you’re loved, aren’t I? You know what I mean. There’s just something about having a guy who acts like he constantly wants to take your clothes off that makes you feel, well, a little bit desirable. And less like this woman. And believe me, opening every box of chocolate that day sorta made me feel, “He so doesn’t want to see you naked.”)
I think that’s what it’s all about in the end, isn’t it? It’s not necessarily the romantic gesture—which doesn’t have to be flowers or diamonds or dinner at an overpriced restaurant—but the fact that I feel loved. Desired. Cared about.
A guy who will come and get me at three in the morning and change my flat tire, without fuss—that’s love. That’s a romantic gesture I’m looking for. Anybody can get candy.
A guy who can’t bear to see me cry who makes me laugh again—or better yet, just lets me cry on his shoulder until I’m done, and doesn’t tell me he thinks I’m a complete lunatic because I’m weeping over Budweiser commercials—that’s love. I can buy my own damned flowers.
A guy that greets me at the door when I come home from the gym and treats me to a round of against the wall lovemaking that would make the lovers from The Notebook envious. That’s what I want. You can keep your panties on a stick, Phillips 66, I have the real deal.
Now that I’ve gotten my 800-word rant about Panties on a Stick out of the way and done my public service announcement for all the men out there (“No panties on sticks!”), what the hell does this have to do with writing? Everything. The hot sex in books is great. I’m glad we’ve pushed boundaries; I’m glad of all the hot sex, I am. (Did you read the part above about the gay ex? Okay.) But I find more and more books are cutting to the sex and forgetting the Romantic Gesture. You know, the flat tire one. (Okay, there are lots of wall-lovemaking, but no other gestures.) And I’ve noticed we’ve been jumping into bed with our heroes a lot sooner. I mean, what happened to the good old days when we used to wait 15 years before we gave in? Sexual tension is an awesome thing.
I think one of my favorite Romantic Gestures or “What I Did For Love” moments in a novel was Whisper of Roses. The heroine is injured in a riding accident and can’t walk. She refuses to be a burden to her husband and has her parents take her home, saying mean and nasty things to her husband so he won’t miss her. (Hers is not the Romantic Gesture.) She doesn’t walk; she doesn’t try—and she grows meaner and more bitter, and also more fragile and sad. Her husband comes back into her life and nags the crap out of her. Dumps her out of her wheelchair. Flashes her legs to half of London at a dance party. Torments and teases her. And she ends up walking again. Of course, those two nearly blow it again with a Black Moment that outdoes the “I won’t be a burden to my husband” moment, but my goodness, what a nailbiter. And how romantic! I mean, he helped her get her spirit back, her ability to walk. When I’m sick, I can’t get a man to nuke me a can of chicken soup. But if I did, I’d brag about it.
And I want the same thing in my books. I haven't thought of anything truly brilliant for Adam and Eve yet. But then I haven't written far enough into the book. I suppose Ben’s big gesture (in Girl on the Grecian Urn) is that he steps in front of the bullet. But I was equally fond of the way he’d show up and bring ice cream for no reason; how he’d come again to the apartment even after they fought (didn’t hold a grudge); how he thought all that costume making was probably a little Martha Stewarty, but she was still sexy as hell. And the boy was a talker. He rarely brought gifts, but he was never without that silver tongue of his.
So. Unload here. What are your expectations for this Valentine’s? What are you hoping you’re not getting this year? What are some of your favorite romantic gestures in literature, or best romantic lines? Anything you’ve written in the romantic gesture category you want to share, or real life stories to share?
Books by the Crew
85 comments:
Oh, my! Panties on a stick...hee, hee. Haven't been the recipient of one of those lovely gas station gifts...did get a rose from a gas station once. It didn't go over well, let him know it was not appreciated.
Best gift? A big soup mug with hearts all over it and sayings about love spells. Showed he knew me well! One Valentine's gift I still have.
I'd like just a few pieces of chocolate, not the whole box. I always feel too guilty when I eat the whole box.
Romantic gesture I wrote? A surprise wedding. He was a jewel, it was a fabulous wedding, if I don't say so myself!
Oh, "He's Not That Into You"? Some nice scenes and a few absolutely wonderfully romantic lines toward the end of the movie. Made me snicker now and then...
Gay ex-boyfriend? Sounds like a story there...
Great blog, Hellion. I love romantic gestures in movies and in romances, of course.
In my current WIP, the rock star hero has brought chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream to the heroine's apartment. (Flowers would be too unoriginal and overdone seeing that she's a florist).
In the idea that's brewing in my head (and will probably be the next thing I work on), the hero is going to give or bring the heroine to an animal shelter. Where they'll adopt a dalmation and name her Ladybug. I'm getting really excited about this story since a) it's a road trip romance, b) it's also a marriage of convenience plot, and c) the hero bears a striking resemblance to George Clooney. And, oh, the first line of the book: Elvis was in the building. Or, rather, in the chapel. (I suspect it'll also be fun because it'll be much lighter in tone that the rock star's book).
And a great movie that's (pretty much) chock-full of romantic gestures is Love Actually. The part where Colin Firth learns Portuguese and then leaves his relatives on/near Christmas to fly to where Aurelie lives. Sigh. I love their romance. And who can forget Hugh Grant knocking on all the doors on that street looking for Natalie?
I love the title!
And I got panties on a stick one year. I don't think my hubby realized it was a thong prettily rolled up into a rose! lol
No expectations for valentines day. Just some family time finishing a really big puzzle we started last weekend.
Can't think of nice romantic gestures. It's too freaking early and I have no caffeine in my system yet! :)
My husband puts gas in my car without fail and does the grocery shopping. It may not sound romantic, but I love him for it. We're not much for special occasion presents anymore (not even Christmas).
In Mistress by Midnight, I have the poor hero try a grand romantic gesture trying to unite his and the heroine's family, as a surprise. It backfires badly at first, as most grand gestures do. Do not ever propose on TV or in skywriting.
Great blog, Hellion. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day in my house. If the term comes up, I hear a big rant about consumerism and marketing designed to make men buy expensive crap.......and since I don't want to hear that diatribe again, we celebrate an "unnamed holiday" on the 13th, where we go out to a nice dinner (at half the $$ since they jack up the price the next day), and exchange small gifts.
I think the best romantic gesture I've gotten is from the hubby - my first day of teaching, I was so nervous I was shaking too badly to mark off the attendance sheet. And when I got back to my office, he had gone and gotten me Krispy Kremes and left them on my desk for me :) He's terrible at the "big" romantic gesture, but he's amazing at the little ones all the time.
And I know lots of people hate SEP's Chicago Stars series (and yes, I'm going to bring it up again!), but when Dan throws the football game in "It had to be you"......sigh. Wow. That's a gesture.
My DH has done the big gesture more than once (especially while we were dating), but what means the most to me is that he warms my car up, scrapes the ice/snow off of it in the morning and has on more than one occassion come to the rescue when I've broken down. Always with a smile on his face!
I love the grand gestures in the books I read. And I know I sound like a broken record but I'm going to bring up SEP again. LOL She does them so well. I think the one in Match Me If You Can is my favorite.
I know there are some historicals with grand gestures also but I can't think of them now. There's a duke giving up his dukedom out there somewhere. It's right at the fringes of my memory but I can't grasp it! Oh, I know... Kingdom of Dreams, Judith McNaught. That has a good grand gesture thingy happening at the end.
Hal, you and I must be on the same wavelength today. We posted about SEP at the same time! :)
I forgot to comment on Valentine's Day. It doesn't really mean a whole lot to me anymore. Maybe cause like you said, Hellion, I get what I need all year long. I think when I was a teenager I was always yearning for that special bouquet or box of candy cause it was so outside the realm of possibility. It was like winning the Lotto.
I usually get a box of kiddy valentines, fill one out for the DH and each of the kids and get them their favorite candy bar. They try to find me my favorite pie (European Chocolate Truffle Supreme - Baker's Square!)
Wow, what a good blog, Hellie.
My husband and Hal's husband were separated at birth. I think they even read from the same script. ("I don't have to prove that I love you especially this day!") My hubby and I do the same exact thing. We celebrate the unnamed holiday on a day close by because they really do jack up the prices. It's annoying. And we exchange cards. We don't really exchange gifts at big holidays either. It always feels weird. Our money's in the same big pot. It's like we're buying for ourselves.
Dh does the dishes and the laundry. That's the kind of romantic gestures I need. And he is never stingy with the sweet talk. Which I adore.
I just watched Definitely, Maybe last night and I thought it was really cute. Anyone else see that? I thought Ryan Reynolds did a good job in that movie.
Irish - you were raving about that pie last year and I Just looked it up and I must admit, it does look awesome. :)
Irish - lol. I remember the gesture in Match Me if you Can - that's the one where he throws his cell phone in the lake, right? That's a great scene!
Marn - we need to swap pictures. Does your hubby have dark, curly hair by any chance? I can't believe you guys do that too, with an unnamed holiday! that's hilarious!
My life is a constant labour of love and I believe I give my spouse at least a hug with a kiss and a smile each day.
I used to be forever rescuing her but then figured that motoring organisations do it better so I had her join the AA (Automobile Association)....problem solved!
Not sure why the onus is on men to make the big romantic gesture. In the age of equality surely it works both ways.
As an example, there is a beautiful old church near my home which has a retired chef who runs a gourmet restaurant to raise funds. As a joint decision we often visit to enjoy the peaceful surroundings and a candle lit dinner. As a small concession to male romantic gestures, Mrs Q always lets me pay the bill. :D
I must look out for one of these treats on sticks when I next fill up with petrol!
Hal, if I hear again about how it's a made up holiday again, I'm going to freak out. LOL!!
You know, V-day is really just a made-up, Hallmark holiday.
*runs below decks*
So we've determined this is the holiday-that-shall-not-be-named. LOL! Great idea.
I've never been a fan. Even when I was married, I can't ever remember getting anything special. On this or any holiday, really. I do remember the year it was awful. Ex-SIL & I went out with out husbands at the time (we're both divorced...big shocker) and they did their best impressions of Beevis & Butthead ALL NIGHT. It's a wonder we didn't kill them before the night was over.
Never gotten panties on a stick. But somehow not shocked that Tiff has. LOL!
Grand gestures. Lessee. I'd say when Damon fights the duel with Villiers in Desperate Duchesses. That was an awesome scene.
Q - In SEPs Ain't She Sweet, I think the heroine does more grand gestures. Mostly because she has much to attone for. Especially with the hero.
Ely - My favorite grand gesture in Love, Actually was when the one dude (can't remember names) showed up at Keira Knightley's character's door with the radio and the cue cards. Even though the two don't end up HEA, that's still an awesome scene.
I'm *so* getting you panties on a stick the next time I see you.
I hate v-day. I really do.
I used to get wound up about V-day. But it kinda is a silly holiday, I think. Flowers are more expensive, the restaurants get so crowded, and it always feels like the guys I dated who used to make a big fuss about it were the ones who treated me like garbage the rest of the year. I'll take the way I have it now, thanks. My hubby is a darling all year long (well, when he isn't infuriating).
I'll bypass flowers on Saturday for that.
Though I do like flowers.... And don't get me started on chocolates.... Jewelry is nice too, of course....
Mr. Marnee is so cute. We should kidnap him and clone him.
There's no reason for me to hate the day. I got engaged two days after Valentine's day. Last year for v-day the DH used it as an excuse to buy me the external hard drive I wanted (a terabyte, mind you, the man listens *I can't believe it*) Usually I used this time of year to make myself scarce. I'm not much of a romantic creature and I'm not easily swayed by romantic gestures either. It's usually the look followed by, "WTH. What's your problem?"
I love me some fifty cent cupcakes. Food fighting in the hallways and that frosting does not come out of hair, nor does it smell swell when you're running your ass off in BB practice.
I doubt I get anything this year. I asked yesterday what I should expect. He looks at me and says, "We went and saw the Cavs play the Lakers this weekend, what more could you want?" I had no reply. So what if the tickets were a Christmas present for him and my son? I would welcome panties on a stick.
I'm not one to ask about romantic gestures in books. My favorite line in historical romance is when Chelsea steps uninvited into the carriage with Sinjin. (Sinful, Susan Johnson) She has never met him before, looks at him and says. "I want you to ***k me." My kind of heroine. She knows what she wants and goes for it:)
Marn - backtracking so soon? LOL!
The thing about this holiday is because guys and gals are only doing something sweet because they have to. I'd rather someone do something sweet because they want to. Which is why Mr. Marnee & Mr. Irish & Mr. Hal & Mattycakes are so sweet.
Okay, I'm not sure about Mattycakes being sweet all year round. But I've heard he dances w/Sin around the house just for fun, so I'm throwing him in the mix. LOL!
2nd: I've gotten roses from gas stations before. When I was 17, it was the height of romance, I assure you. Now I'm like, "Really?"
I love the surprise wedding! Though if I did one, it would be akin to the surprise wedding in The Unsinkable Molly Brown musical. Have you seen that? The reluctant bride who says "yes" one second, then literally finds herself in the middle of a wedding (before she can change her mind) the next. I suspect that's the sort of wedding I'd need. Weddings give me hives. I get a little panicky.
OH, and I'm glad He's Just Not That Into You was pretty good. I've been dying to see it since Drew Barrymore makes that comment about how many technologies available now to be rejected by. *LOL* "It's exhausting." And I kill myself laughing when Jen Aniston tells Ben Affleck, "If you're in love with me, you're going to have to start being meaner"--or something to that effect--and Ben says, totally confused, "This feels like a trick."
Ely, I *so* want to date your rock star; and I love how you write. I think we're alike--we think of some key scene and the story percolates outward from it. Like I thought it'd be funny if Adam and Eve failed marriage counseling and were sent to earth to find new spouses...and then wouldn't it be funny if they both signed up for Match.com and got matched?
*swoons* Colin Firth. I love him when he learns Portuguese. And the scenes with them in the car! My favorite Colin Firth scene--Bridget Jones' Diary--when he pulls her aside and says, "I like you. Just as you are."
What girl doesn't melt at that?
Tiff: as Terri said, I'm completely unsurprised you got panties on a stick. However considering your adorable little figure, you're the only girl I know who could wear them.
It says "One size" on the tag--but regardless of the messages Sin scrawls on bathroom walls about me, my ass is not a one size fits all. It's actually rather selective about what fits there.
This is not to say I don't wish my ass were a little smaller (*she says as she peels another mini reese's PB cup*) and could fit the "one size" mark.
Finishing a puzzle, by the way, I think is a very romantic way to spend time. You have to be close together...you're quiet...it's fun, really... Happy puzzle fitting!
Um...I'm not big on V-Day either. Although, one year a girl I knew said that her boyfriend took her to Chick-Fil-A for V-Day(this was middleschool!lol) and they cut her waffle fries into heart shapes... She thought it was very romantic. To each their own!
PS: Now that I think about it the only person who has ever gotten me things for V-Day is my dad. When I was in kindergarten(my Mom taught at my elementary school) he sent my mom a huge bouquet of flowers and a single long stemmed pink rose for me. My teacher put it up in the front of the class for everyone to see...And then there was the year he got me chocolate covered strawberries!
Love you Dad!!
I love that book.
I retrack my statement to buy Hellie panties on a stick. I'm SO getting you panties on a stick. Hopefully batman ones if I can find them.
Maggie, I beg to differ: that sounds SWOONINGLY romantic to me. Not that I hate grocery shopping, but the car stuff is always sweet. And even the guy who has AAA on speed dial is a pretty romantic gesture. (Although I still think it's a little sexier when they can change the tire themselves. I'm hopelessly blue collar in my crushes, I'm afraid.)
I'd kill to be in a one size fits all category. Have you seen how small they make those shirts now? It can't even wrap around my pinky finger.
And I will not say anything about my v-day dinner, Kelly.
*biting lip*
We hit the drive thru every year. LOL
Hal, I can't always blame guys ranting about this holiday. It's nearly as bogus as Groundhog's Day. (Groundhog's Day is COMPLETELY bogus--I mean, you're stuck with 6 more weeks of winter regardless, man, check the calendar!) I mean, think about it, I think guys spend--the good ones anyway--a LOT of time trying to keep us happy. We're always worried or stressed out about something, so they're usually trying to talk us back down off the building. Nothing is worth getting that worked up about right?
Okay, so say they're moderately successful at keeping you happy...then along December, during a HUGE time of year of EXPECTATIONS followed by the NYE's EXPECTATIONS, Valentine's Day stuff starts coming. The Kay Diamond commercials are played every other commercial--pretty much saying, "If your bozo doesn't give you a diamond, he doesn't really love you."--I mean, it must make them nuts because advertising is telling you that you're not really happy. It's like brainwashing--and they can't do anything about it.
I'm not saying we don't deserve diamonds now and again--but those guys have got a new campaign every season. Who else but Harry Winston could afford it?
And even if you're not expecting diamonds, you think well, at the least he can take me to dinner and get me flowers--except I've been looking at that and I'm like, "They've GOT to be kidding!" One of our "ritzier" places in town is charging $150 per couple for Valentine's. I assure you, I've eaten there on a non-bogus holiday, and it's not worth $50 per couple.
It's all the LITTLE gestures that add up. I'd take a Krispy Kreme over a bouquet of roses any day.
Okay, I confess, Mattycakes is sweet about 50% of the time. We dance in the kitchen on Sundays. Sometimes we're goofing off and sometimes he will dance with me and twirl me around and smile and my blackened heart flutters crazy like. Or sometimes we're in the car and he holds my hand or turns the music up if he knows it's a song I like or if it's a rap song we just start going crazy stupid and acting dumb and brushing each other's shirts off and I'm collar popping him and traffic looks at us like we shouldn't be on the road.
Or we went trail walking and we found the tree over the creek and he hopped up on it all Dirty Dancing like and we did the whole DD scene.
*grumbling* God, I'm going soft.
This does not negate the crap that he pulls on the regular. It's the trade off.
PS. Hellie, I hate those stupid little v-day cards they give out as elementary school kids. It's stupid.
Irish, I'm always wanting to clone your husband. I mean, Marn's husband is adorable--but your husband is so the husband-material I'm looking for. *LOL*
I love to buy the boxed Valentine's and give them out to co-workers and friends! *LOL* With candy, of course.
And definitely: the duke who gives up his dukedom, that is the ULTIMATE romantic gesture. *sighs*
Marnee: I do love a guy who can sweet talk. *swoons* Okay, now I'm back to wanting to clone your husband again. He's gotta sweet talk like your hubby, but scrape the ice off the car like Irish's does. (And totally be into Halloween like Irish's. *LOL*)
Q: How modern of you to insist on equality for women! *LOL* But I think Mrs. Q is a very lucky woman to have a man who smiles and kisses her every day--and has AA on speed dial.
I think I'm done with big romantic gestures. *LOL* That cupcake fiasco has pretty much burned me on doing anything really good. I think I'm going to believe science on this one: men like to do the wooing and pursuing--so we should just let them, then show them all our appreciation for their hard work and effort.
Terri, I'm so incredibly sorry about the Beavis and Butthead thing. (I'm assuming your guy was Butthead, from all the stories you've told.)
I'm happy to say I don't know which character is which. I do know both are complete idiots and that's all that's important, I think.
And don't be laying a finger on the Mr. Irish clone. I called him a LONG time ago!
*LOL* Marnee, I think you're right: the guys who do go all out on V-Day are usually buttheads the rest of the year! *LOL* I think I'd take the ice-scraping and going out for dinner on a non-premium night.
Actually what I resent about V-Day is that not only does it froth the Coupled People into a rage of unhappiness and dissatifation, but the Singletons (that'd be me) are suddenly walking around with signs around our necks that say, "Yep, we're so pathetic and undateable we can't even get dates on THE day you should be guaranteed nookie"--I mean, it's just awful. Blech. As if my self-esteem wasn't already in the toilet most of the time anyway.
God, I remember you getting engaged, Sin. *LOL* (She came flying up to me and said, "Guess what I got!?" and I said, completely serious and equally excited, "A new tattoo?")
Actually what amused me is while Matty was in the room with you--he acted like he only proposed to "keep you from whining." Then you'd leave the room and he'd get all moony and say completely moony stuff--and we'd know he was talking trash. And nothing is more amusing than seeing a 6'4" guy with a beard look completely moony.
Lisa, I sincerely hope you get panties on a stick. I think I might launch dishes at a man who took me to a ballgame (that I'd bought the tickets for), then said, "What else were you expecting?" The man would be cooking for himself for at least a week.
I'm going to have to break down and read the Susan Johnson books. That is a good introduction. *LOL*
LOL! Sin, I think the drive thru can be TOTALLY romantic when you're with the right person. It's the heart shaped waffle fries that gave me pause.lol. And that's so sweet that you and mattycakes dance on Sundays. Awwwwww.
“Yep, we’re so pathetic and undateable we can’t even get dates on THE day you should be guaranteed nookie”
Hellie, could you make that into a shirt?lol. I'd wear it!
Kelly, my Dad is pretty much my only touch with Valentine's as well. *LOL* And he's not one to buy crap for that holiday--but one year he bought me a Valentine's Day balloon on a stick that said, "I Love You" on it. I still have it--but it must be 10, 15 years old. *LOL*
*laughing* Sin, did he REALLY do the DD scene? That's hilarious...and yeah, I'd go soft too if that happened. I go soft whenever my honey grins at me and says, "Nobody puts baby in the corner." Holly laughs hysterically at him, but I just melt.
You guys are cute. Mattycakes can be a charmer when he wants; and he can be a PITA the rest of the time.
As one of the Singletons, I'm not sure I'm liking that word. It's too close to simpletons. LOL!
And we are NOT undateable. We are simply picky. LOL!
Anyone believing that? Me neither....
*LOL* Kelly, I'll work on the shirts and hand them out!
Terri, Singletons is a Bridget Jones' word, not mine. I just like to use it.
Mattycakes... that dick. For months afterward he told me the only reason he proposed was because I kept hinting and whining about it. And I asked him what alternate universe did he come from anyway?
LOL. And yes, I get told when I sit in the corner, "Nobody puts baby in the corner." To which we both laugh hysterically like loons. But yes, he even bought me the 20th Anniversary copy of DD one year and we watched it together.
*LOL* I think it's ironic he acts like you're the pushy whiner who's racing to the altar, and really, it's like the opposite. He's the one trying to herd you there, but it's like herding a cat.
I have the 20th Anniversary DVD. *sighs* And I laugh like a loon when he says it. Ah, men. Sometimes I really, really love them.
I was talking with two of my nephews this weekend about what they are doing for Valentine's Day. One nephew showed me a really pretty ring he bought his girlfriend, although he made sure I understood it was not an engagement ring. The other, who is the father of a four-month-old, said he'd buy flowers as he always does, but his real gift was getting up for all the early a.m. feedings to let his wife sleep until 7:00. I think that last gift entails a lot more "giving," and an understanding of his wife.
My favorite "romantic gestures" book is All the Possibilities, the first Nora Roberts book I read. Shelby Campbell does not want to get involved with Senator Alan MacGregor, but he sends her a basket of fresh strawberries, a stuffed lavender pig with a silly grin and velvet ears, and two dozen pink and yellow balloons with a note that says, "The yellow's for sunshine, the pink's for spring. Share them with me." Sigh! Of course, she does. I love that book. Maybe I'll reread it for Valentine's Day. :)
PPS: Helli and Sin, could you please throw the rotten tomatoes *NEAR* me but not *AT* me? Appreciate it.:)
Okay, I should not admit this but what the heck! I can't stand Dirty Dancing. 'Nobody puts Baby in the corner'? Seriously?lol. It cracks me up but NOT in a good way.
PS: Elyssa, can you send me Aubry for V-Day? Ice cream? He's the smartest man on the fictional planet!!:)
The DH thinks those diamond commercials are hilarious. One year, he went online, found the logo for one of the big stores, printed it up and pasted it on a plain little jewelry box, that he'd put Hershey kisses in. He gave one to his friend at work, his work-wife, and she laughed like a loon. (She's widowed.)
And, of course, I got one. He was so proud of himself for the joke! He knew I'd smack him if he gave me diamonds. I'm more of blue gemstone sort of girl. And still hope to find my wedding ring amidst all the clutter I'm clearing up. (Lost when I was in a medicated daze last year.) That's the only diamond I want!
Those commercials are just obnoxious. And the teddy bear ones? Worse!
Hel - Ben Afflack does have some of the best lines in the movie, but Drew's bit about technology is really good.
Janga, I'm thinking Nora's got tons of grand gestures I'm forgetting. That's a good one, though.
Now that everyone is bringing up their Dads, it occurred to me that the DH does usually remember the day - he stops and picks up carnations on Valentine's Day. He gets 3 different colors and gives one to me, one to our daughter and one to our son. I forgot about that. And I get him a card so I guess we do celebrate. But I do get the "it's a Hallmark holiday" diatribe every year also, Marnee and Hal! LOL I think every guy feels the need to point that out.
I also remember one year we went to the local grocery store, bought a gallon of ice cream and stopped on our way out at the card isle. We each picked out a card for the other, read it, said awwwwww and put it back, bought our ice cream and went home.
Kelly, it's okay you're not a fan of DD. After all, I have to put up with Sin and Terri not having watched Pirates of the Caribbean. I mean, if I was launching tomatoes....
DD is PURE cheese, but I think if you were at the right age when it came out, you can't help but love the damned movie. *LOL*
HEY! I've seen all the POTC movies. Even own one. (You sent that, didn't you?) Even saw the third one in the theater, thankyouverymuch.
I do not watch Will Ferrel movies, but Sin does. However, I'm pretty sure Sin and I are both in the "never reading HP" club.
I think you had to experience DD the first time around to appreciate the cheese factor. LOL! It was awesome back then!
I abstain from all things HP. I was forced to watch the last HP movie in order to go with my BFF when it was supposed to come out last year (and God, it wasn't even Hellie that forced me to sit and watch) but I haven't read the books. I haven't seen a POTC movie except in passing. But I heart Will Ferrell in TN and Old School.
"You're my boy Blue. You're my boy."
Ter, you are missing out with the Will Ferrell movies! It's great because the lines he uses apply to life! Like if your friend doesn't like crepes you tell him that they're like 'really, really thin pancakes'. If your friend is having a bad day, you compliment them by saying, 'you smell of mahogany and leather books'(compliments make people feel better!). If a crotchety old man complains about how your children smarting off ti him you say,'I love the way they're talking to you, OLD MAN!'. A friend is mad at you? Say, 'you need to get off the hate bridge and come over to the friendship shore'.Hahahahah.
Janga, the nephew who is getting up for the early AM feedings *really gets it*--he's another one who should be cloned. (Of course, it would be nice if he did it more than once a year, but we'll start with this and move forward.)
Dangit, did you have to bring up picnics? It's 70 degrees today and a perfect day for a picnic. I'd make some fried chicken...and some...cheese. Okay, I wouldn't make the cheese. That's too time intensive. I'd buy cheese.
2nd: I have a crush on Ben Affleck. He's the right blend of insecure and cocky. He's one of the big draws for this movie. *LOL*
And I love the fake diamond boxes! *LOL*
Yes, I sent you the movie. I figured that's the only way I'd get you to watch it. I'm glad you've finally watched them. *LOL*
I guess we all have our movies we cannot stand. My honey's favorite 80s flick is Excalibur, which I own much for the same reason I read two of the three LOTR books (because I'm sick), and I didn't make it past 30 minutes.
"You didn't like it?" he asked, sounding rather hurt and flabbergasted, I might add.
"No. I couldn't stand that stupid insipid look Gwenivere got on her face upon SEEING Lancelot the first time. The twit. I stopped watching right then."
It's like the Adam, Eve and the Apple thing all over again. Pisses me off. What brings down Camelot? Gwenivere. The flakey little tramp.
Sorry. Sorry. It just sets me off in a bad way. I don't see the romance in it.
*LOL* I'm so going to use the hate bridge somewhere... Thank you, Kelly!
I'm sorry, I'm still trying to catch my breath from LAUGHTER at the notion I could make Sin sit and do anything.
Oh, saw the Harry Potter preview at the movies yesterday...I got to catch up on those I've missed!
So, yer an Afflack...or is the Affleck...? fan... He's pretty low key in this one. The big speech about not believing in marriage...didn't buy. But I liked where he ends up and like I said, has one of the best lines in the movie...about making her happy makes him happy...that sort of thing.
But ya got to get over this block with movies. Get beyond the Gwenivere scene to the guts of the movie... Loved the beauty of Excalibur...sigh. Try again and just close yer eyes when they go all moonie over each other!
I watched the POTC movies when they came out. Kiddo hadn't seen them. That's why you sent the movie. Just to be clear. LOL!
You cannot convert me to the Ferrell camp. Though that hate bridge one is kind of funny. I admit, we own Elf, but I've never watched it. If I ever give in, it would be that one. Or the one from Bewitched. What was the one where he's the character in the woman's book? I'd watch that one. Maybe.
I ate my lunch in my car with the windows down. It's Bootiful today.
*sheepish look* It's possible but you'd have to assert yourself if you're going to make me do anything.
Lord, you HAVE to watch Stranger Than Fiction. He's not even Will Ferrell in the movie. He doesn't do any stupid lines or anything. He's awesome.
And he falls in love with a baker. They get into a fight; and he brings her FLOURS. I mean, THAT is a grand romantic gesture! And OMG, the scene where he's at the house and she says, "Why don't you play something?" when he confesses he's been learning the guitar...and he says, No, he's not good. But he gets to thinking--and after all, he knows his DEATH is IMMINENT, so he takes a chance and starts playing "Whole Wide World" on the guitar for her. And he's not that good...but it's SO sweet...and he's so vulnerable, and she comes back into the room, and he doesn't see her, but she's mouthing the words--and she POUNCES him! Oh, it's brilliant! It's so adorable and wonderful...and Emma Thompson is the perfect neurotic writer! *LOL*
You HAVE to see Stranger Than Fiction. I can't believe you.
Oh, you have no worries then, Sin. Me assert myself? Please, it takes a long time for me to get around to that, and I usually save that shit up for stuff that's hugely important to me. Like sex. Or really sexy shoes.
Besides making people watch things they've already had a fit about not having an interest in doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel like I dragged someone to church.
I love Stranger than Fiction. That's got to be one of the best movies he's ever done. And Emma Thompson is hilarious.
When she drags Queen Latifah to the hospital so she can find dying people!
Penny Escher: [They are in a hospital ward surround by lots of sick and injured people] What are we doing here? I don't even think we're supposed to *be* in here.
Kay Eiffel: You told me I needed visual stimulation.
Penny Escher: Yeah, I meant a museum or something.
Kay Eiffel: I don't *need* a museum. I need the infirm.
Penny Escher: [slightly under her breath] You *are* the infirm.
Seriously the conversation between Harold and the Baker are HILARIOUS:
Harold Crick: It says, in the file, that you only paid part of your taxes for last year.
Ana Pascal: That's right.
Harold Crick: Looks like only 78 percent.
Ana Pascal: Yep.
Harold Crick: So you did it on purpose?
Ana Pascal: Yep.
Harold Crick: So you must've been expecting an audit.
Ana Pascal: Um, I was expecting a fine, or a sharp reprimand.
Harold Crick: A reprimand? This isn't boarding school, Miss Pascal. You stole from the government.
Ana Pascal: No I didn't steal from the government. I just didn't pay you *entirely*.
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Harold Crick: Miss Pascal, you can't just not pay your taxes.
Ana Pascal: Yes, I can.
Harold Crick: You can if you want to get audited.
Ana Pascal: Only if I recognize your right to audit me, Mr. Crick.
Harold Crick: Miss Pascal, I'm right here auditing you.
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Ana Pascal: Listen, I'm a big supporter of fixing potholes and erecting swing sets and building shelters. I am *more* than happy to pay those taxes. I'm just not such a big fan of the percentage that the government uses for national defense, corporate bailouts, and campaign discretionary funds. So, I didn't pay those taxes. I think I sent a letter to that effect with my return.
Harold Crick: Would it be the letter that beings "Dear Imperialist Swine"?
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Harold Crick: Miss Pascal, what you're describing is anarchy. Are you an anarchist?
Ana Pascal: You mean, am I a member of...
Harold Crick: An anarchist group, yes.
Ana Pascal: Anarchists have a group?
Harold Crick: I believe so, sure.
Ana Pascal: They assemble?
Harold Crick: I don't know.
Ana Pascal: Wouldn't that completely defeat the purpose?
I'm sold. Adding Stanger Than Fiction to my Netflix and moving it to the top!
*g* Now we all know why I love that movie. LOL
Yes, my little anarchist, we know exactly why you love that movie. Plus you kinda look like her. *LOL*
I caught that movie on some cable channel and it was good. Where in the hell did you get all the dialogue???
Elf is probably one of the better WF movies...a very sweet holiday movie.
The only movie I've ever seen with Will Ferrel in it is Elf. There was that grand gesture at the end that affirmed the belief in Santa Claus and he does hook up with the girl. They have babies who, in turn, love syrup don't they. The only other film is The Wedding Crasher. I thought that was a great movie.
I'm watching You've Got Mail...again. It is fraught with grand gestures. I adore it. The same holds true for Love Actually, French Kiss and The Wedding Singer. Now there's a movie with some awesome grand gestures. When Adam Sandler sings to Drew Barrymore in the plane and Billy Idol works with the crew to keep her dumb fiance' away from them.
As to grand gestures in books. Yes, they are becoming far and too few in between. Sex is great. I love me some good sex in books but what really gets to me is Mayne parading in that dress for Josie. Or Rafe dressed in full ducal attire and on his knees in front of Imogen pledging his whole heart and soul to her on that day and to their very last. Le sigh. And my favorite LaNora grand gesture is when Rafe McKabe pulls Regan's favorite flowers from the truck of his car and recites (or tries to) her favorite poem to her. Oh, and their silk flowers because it's the middle of winter.
It's also the tucking of hair behind the ear, kissing the inside of the wrist, looks that pierce the very soul.
These are the things that make me say 'YES! YES! YES!'
Oh, yeah, When Harry Met Sally. Another keeper.
2nd: IMDB.com is where I pull off the dialogue. They have quotes sections under most movies. NICE resource.
Santa, I love Adam Sandler's romantic comedies too. The romantic comedies, not those serious comedies. The Wedding Singer was excellent, but I loved the other Adam and Drew pairing: 50 First Dates.
A guy who makes a girl fall in love with him every single day? The ULTIMATE romantic gesture. I love that movie. Esp when Drew beats up Rob Schnieder. Too funny.
I also love When Harry Met Sally. *LOL*
I adore Josie and Mayne, so yes, him in the dress is so adorable...and the book where the guy tries to recite her favorite poem, that's awesome. I love the effort. :)
The great thing about the MacKade scene, San, is that she wears the red dress for him too--both grand gestures.
Hellion, for my sweetest nephew's sake, I have to clarify. He and his wife generally alternate the early morning feedings. He plans to do both feedings on the 14th and let her have a full night of uninterrupted sleep. I think that's her idea of heaven right now. :)
Janga, that boy's a keeper.
And yes, that red leather number bowls him over. Love it when his brother puts his hand inside his shirt and mimics a racing heart beat. He earned daggers from his brother for that one. LOVE that book. As a matter of fact, I have the whole series in omnibus format on my night stand right now.
Egads, I just realized I wrote 'their' instead of 'they're'. *hanging head in shame*
Awww, Janga, okay, that boy IS sweet. He gets a gold star!
Okay, I might have to break down and read a Nora book. That scene does sound funny. *LOL*
Hellion, the MacKades are being reissued this year. You should read all four. :)
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