Intense Blue Eyes and Crooked Smiles
So as I begin a new manuscript, I am again faced with the task of describing my character's physical appearance, and again, I am finding this to be a daunting task. I'm stumped. I have an image in my head for each of them. I know what their face looks like, their expressions, their mannerisms. Yet, somehow, this doesn't get transferred to paper. I end up falling back on clichés I use over and over again, like "intense blue eyes" which really manages to say nothing. Or smiles that "tilt up a centimeter more on the left than the right." But how many heroes can I really have with crooked smiles? Eventually, the smile is going to have to tilt higher on the right just to shake things up a bit.
A lot of authors handle description of a character's physical appearance extremely well. Lisa Kleypas, of course, does amazing at this. But one of my favorite descriptions comes for Toni Morrison, who I usually struggle to read. In this passage from Beloved, she goes into such great depths about a slave woman's eyes (from the POV of Paul D, as she's telling him about running away):
A face too still for comfort; irises the same color as her skin, which, in that still face, used to make him think of a mask with mercifully punched-out eyes…..Even in that tiny shack, leaning so close to the fire you could smell the heat in her dress, her eyes did not pick up a flicker of light. They were like two wells into which he had trouble gazing. Even punched out they needed to be covered, lidded, marked with some sign to warn folks of what that emptiness held. So he looked instead at the fire while she told him.
The phrase "mercifully punched-out eyes" has stayed with me, literally for years. Now that is a description of a character, and tells so much more than "intense blue eyes."
So the question is, how do you take someone's face, and all the nuances of expression and features, and put it on paper. I have no answer to this. But I thought it might be fun to do an experiment. Below are pictures I've picked up as possible ideas for characters. Each of them, to me, has a very specific expression, one which communicates that they're exactly the sort of person my character is. But how to describe them on paper?
How would you describe this character? (we'll call her, above left, Josephine) What type of assumptions would you make about her character or personality?
Or how about this charcter? (and well call her, below right, Molly) What would say or assume differently about her?
Anyone else struggle with this? Any descriptions of characters that have stuck with you? Conversely, have you have had an image in your head of a character, and the author keeps ruining it by describing them differently?
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29 comments:
Hey, Hal! I struggle all the time. I tend to study my chosen character sketches. Sad to say though, I think, like your crooked smile, I have arched brows, or twisted lips.
I think there is a website out there somewhere dedicated to describing mannerisms and facial expressions. For the life of me though I can't remember where.
I'm definitely up for any and all advice shared.
Renee
I always have a good idea what they look like...but suck at getting that through to the reader. Simply because I get going too fast and forget that they can't see what I see...unless I tell them what I see!
So, I tend to leave specific descriptors alone. I'll stick with a particular trait, such as finely arched eyebrows...let them tell about the character. (Of course, I do include the specifics such as eye color, hair color, height, etc.) I'm working on doing better...
Expression changes so much... I'd like a better way to describe smiles, grins, etc... So many words for grimacing, etc...so few for smiling! It's our culture...
Hi Renee! A website of facial expressions - I'm going to have to look for that. There's a new show of Fox called Lie to Me - it's about a guy who studies facial expressions to tell if people are lying. I've been watching it just for the information on facial expressions.
2nd - I always forget that no one can see inside my head too :) Descriptions are definitely something I have to go add back in later.
Hal - First of all, Beloved is that kind of book for me too. I still sometimes think of that scene with her in the shack before the slave master finds her again. So graphic without romanticizing the horror.
I think that both of these girls look just like what I picture Josephine and Molly to look like.
Josephine's eyes are haunting. There's anger there, and pain, and longing. That isn't the face of someone who had an easy childhood or leads a carefree life.
And Molly! What an open face and a wide, mischievous smile. Her eyes definitely laugh.
I think I have difficulties with what you explain. I'm still finding a good picture of a girl who looks like Sarah. I kinda see her as Keri Russell, but with brighter blue eyes. And Nik is Gerard Butler.
But I can't really say that on paper. ("Picture Keri Russell but with bluer eyes." - that's good characterization, huh?)
Hey Marn - I recently read a book where the heroine was described as looking just like Kenny from South Park when she pulled up her hood. lol. Wouldn't it be so much easier if we could just say "Keri Russell but with blue eyes" or "looks just like Patrick Dempsey."
That's exactly why I fell in love with this picture for Jo - there's an almost sullen, antagonistic attitude about her. Now I just need to find a way to work those eyes into her description....
Josephine has the look of Joan of Arc about her eyes. Ready to be a martyr, brings her own cross to the burning. That sort of thing. Crusader, passionate about causes, but seems the sort that puts herself into other causes because she's dead inside. Unwilling to crusade for herself.
Red-headed Molly. Irish-Catholic. In mass on Sunday, but out drinking with the girlfriends on Fridays. (Did I mention she's only 14? Precocious creature. Hates her school skirt.) Her smile reminds her father of the time when she was five and he took her fishing: wide-eyed innocence and sincerity. Her boyfriend sees that smile and sees the girl who jumped off naked off a dock into the lake. Winsome spontenaity.
I'm on my way out the door for my dentist appt so no time to read. But I'll check back in as soon as I can!
Brings her own cross to the burning. LOL!!
I struggle with this a lot! The thing I notice in my writing is that I have a hard time switching it up a bit. Every hero I write is tall, dark and handsome and every heroine is petite with light hair! LOL I've really got to expand my horizons.
I read a book once where the author did not describe the characters physically at all. I didn't realize it until I was half way through the book. Then I went back to make sure I wasn't imagining it, but no - there were no physical descriptions. I had a picture in my head by the way she described all of the characteristics, though. I thought it was fascinating. I think it might have been a Debbie Macomber book.
I can't match Hellion's descriptions for your pictures (you're good at this Hellion!!!), but I can come up with some adjectives... Josephine looks wounded, sad and a bit apathetic. Molly looks innocent, naive and a little on the playful side.
Hm, the first one sorta has the look of Sadie. It's the gentle but firm set of her lips. The look in her eyes- she's seen too much for her young years and now she has trouble looking at the world for anything more than it's worth. Everything to her has no bright side. There is only putting on foot in front of the other and just getting through the day. If only she could bring herself to smile. Just a little tilt of her lips at the corners. She's very pretty.
Another person who does a great job describing her characters is JR Ward. Kat Martin too. And Susan Johnson- Any woman who can write a book about a heroine who has hot pink hair is okay in my book.
I'm not a fan of describing my characters in full detail. Since I write first, describing my FP POV heroine is hard to do. You gather some images of her as you read her- but describing everyone else- I'd rather write about their personality and let you - the reader - decide what they truly look like.
Hal, I'm addicted to Lie to Me, and Fringe. But you're right, Lie to Me is wonderful about focusing on facial expressions.
Renee
ter - I'd say have fun at the dentist, but that seems a little cruel....so....good luck.
Hellion - Nice!! Wow, you got so much out of just a picture. "Bring her own cross to the burning but dead inside" - that's amazing. In my WIP, she's an explosive expert in the IRA, and personal assistant/girlfriend to the new head of the IRA. Very apt description of her.
That smile is exactly why I picked that picture for Molly, even though she looks 14 instead of 24. It totally made me think of skinny-dipping too *g*
Irish - I've noticed that too - all my heroines are petite with dark brown hair and brown eyes. I'm trying to focus on blondes this time *g*
You know, I read about an author who decided to do an experiment, and not describe anything physical about his heroine. Then he'd ask women who had read the book to tell him what the heroine looked like - all the women described themselves (not overtly, but similar build, eye/hair color, skin color, etc). He said he was pissed when the publisher put a beautiful model on the front cover because it ruined his experiment.
Sin - now that I think about it, even though I've never read a description of Sadie, I have a very clear picture of her in my head from just the snippets I've read.
Description in 1st person (or even 3rd if you only have one viewpoint character) is much harder. But in theory, if you're deep enough inside their head, what they look like on the outside is less necessary.
Renee - Isn't Lie to Me great? I love trying to guess what they see before they explain it. I'm liking Fringe too, though I have to cover my eyes a lot *g*
Hal, did you ever see Braveheart (or even The Patriot)? Mel Gibson does Josephine's expression in every scene right before he opens a can of whoop ass.
In Braveheart, right after his wife Murron is executed to draw him out, he rides into the middle of the village, right into the enemy's hands. He's got his hands behind his head and his face is EXACTLY the same as this chick's. Bringing his own cross to his burning, dead inside. It's all about revenge--and if he dies in the meantime, who cares? He's already dead, he's just happens to be breathing.
There is a scene in The Patriot (okay, there are SEVERAL scenes in The Patriot) where Mel Gibson wears this expression.
It's funny you think of Molly and skinnydipping too. *laughs*
"It’s all about revenge–and if he dies in the meantime, who cares? He’s already dead, he’s just happens to be breathing." That's the perfect description for that expression. It's definitely the "I have nothing to lose so I'm going to take you with me" mentality.
I'm going to have to watch Braveheart again, just to see his expression. Didn't his wife get brutally murdered in the Patriot too? Poor Mel! lol.
No, his wife was already dead in The Patriot. It was his kids that kept dying off. First the 15 year old who really wanted to join up with the Revolutionary Army--he's shot by Jason Isaacs character (man, he makes a good looking evil guy) and then his oldest son Gabriel (Heath Ledger) dies. But the time he really wore the expression was when the 15 year old died. It was absolutely the #1 thing he feared most and it happened.
And to round out his character, he was a veteran of the French & Indian War and was a complete bad ass--and he believed his "sins" would come back to repay him. So he's double-guilty because his innocent son paid for his sins.
Renee - Yeah, Fringe. Talk about watching a face for expressions! That mad scientist does the most amazing things with his eyes, eyebrows, etc. What an awesome actor! Feeding LSD to a cockroach...heh, heh. That was brilliant!
Cap'n - You did good describing what I was seeing with the two girls... Josephine looks like a world weary Madonna. Molly reminds me of Hermoine... (I spelled that way wrong, didn't I? Oh, well!)
Still raining in California...how do ya housetrain a dog when it's always very WET outside?
Hells - this sounds exactly like my kind of tortured hero. I watched that movie when it first came out, but can't remember much. I should add it to my netflix list!
I'm back. Can't feel half my face, but I'm back. Which means if I were to describe my grin as higher on one side than the other, it would be totally accurate today. LOL!
I must not be as dark as y'all since I see Josephine with a chip on her shoulder and likely very sarcastic, but not really dead or not caring. She looks like she'd be a challenge to deal with but have a good reason for it.
Molly, on the other hand, is not the as innocent as she looks. It's that direct way she's looking in the camera. And the smile isn't quite a complete, no holding back smile. I'd say she has way more tricks up her sleeve than Josie there. LOL!
In Weddings Can Be Murder, Christie Craig describes the hero as looking like Antonio Bandaras through the entire thing. So I'd say we can do that if we can make it work. :)
Christie is such a hoot...
No, I can see the bit of dark anger in Josephine and the impish conman sort of charm that Molly puts out...
What would be fun is to create a personae that is totally opposite of the impression the photos create. I love characters that don't fit their first impressions...
Hal, the last time I taught Beloved,a student said to me, "We shouldn't have to read this sort of thing. Now I can't get it out of my head." An unconscious tribute to the power of Morrison's writing, don't you think?
My candidate for the romance writer who does the best physical descriptions of characters is Julia Ross. This is one example:
"The man turned his head to look at her. A swift impression of gilt and brown beneath thick black lashes—beautiful eyes. Eyes bright with reflected lantern light. And that face! Authority imbued with an absolute calm: the face of the archangel about to spread his great swan’s wings to shatter the sanity of mortal men—and finding unholy mirth in it." from Night of Sin
Ter - I definitely agree that Molly has some tricks up her sleeve. I didn't think of it before, but you're right - she's very deliberately not smiling her full smile. Very mischievous *g*
Sorry your face is numb!
And just to show Ross's skill is not limited to descriptions of hot heroes:
"She was disheveled and angry. Her hair hung in a long plait down her back, not neat, not glossy—a lion’s mane of disordered golden straggles, fuzzy where she’d slept on it. Her blunt nose was pink at the tip and she’d narrowed her eyes, hiding the changeable green behind two rows of stubby blond lashes. Now she was bouncing from one foot to the other like a demented parrot, clad in a torn dressing gown and a capacious white cotton nightdress. . ." From My Dark Prince
Janga - the statement "I can't get it back out of my head" is probably one of the highest compliments a writer can get!
And wow, what great descriptions, both of them! Talk about painting a picture in your head. Thanks for the good examples!
Hal, did you ever see Braveheart (or even The Patriot)? Mel Gibson does Josephine’s expression in every scene right before he opens a can of whoop ass.
Omg! that is so very true.
Renee
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