Contracts Are a Scribe's Best Friend
*the door to Hellion’s cabin opens and out walks (sashays) Hellion in a Marilyn Monroe costume, complete with short blonde wig and pink arm length gloves. Hellion adjusts the bow on her hot pink dress as she wiggles to the front of the ship*
Terri: Is she wearing eyeliner?
Marnee: I think so. Is it me, or did she have an overnight breast enhancement as well?
*Hellion wiggles again, tugging her top back in place, bouncing a little to make sure everything’s going to hold*
Sin: Nope, it’s not just you.
Hellion: You know I can hear you guys, right? *tapping foot* And you can stop acting like you’ve never seen me in makeup or a dress either.
Sin: We’re just glad to see you dressed really. That streaking you do from your cabin to the kitchen is awkward when we run into you.
Hellion: *sniffing and tugging at the dress at her hips* That’s only happened a couple times.
Marnee: It’s happened seven times. We’re just amazed you own clothing because we were starting to wonder.
Hellion: What? So now we’re keeping count about every little thing? *tosses her head, shaking her blonde curls into place* Are you done ogling me now? I swear I get more grief when I wear my Marilyn costumes. You wouldn’t believe the number of married men who ask me out whenever I’m in this outfit.
Terri: Oh, we’d believe it.
Hellion: *glowering* Let me do my number please. Thank you. *crew scrambles to sidelines as Hellion motions for the orchestra to start playing*
Sin: When did we get an orchestra?
Terri: *scrutinizing them* I don’t know but they are not in my Hotties of the Week group. Where does she find these people?
Marnee: Her brain really frightens me sometimes.
Sin & Terri: You ain’t the only one.
Hellion: *singing*
Sleuths were made for finding clues:
They delight in solving crime,
But I prefer to write about a love
That lasts all time…
A plug on a blog may be an honorable mention
But contracts are a scribe’s best friend.
A blog may be grand but it won’t pay my pension
Or my rum bar tab
Or keep my ship from being drab!
*perching in the lap of a famous agent and tapping him on the nose with her finger*
Plots grow trite as scribes lose fight
And we wonder if we’ll publish in the end.
But sequels and movies rights,
Advances make rejection all right:
Contracts are a scribe’s best friend.
Avon. St. Martin’s. Penquin. Source. Bantam. *hooks a scarf around the Harper Collins representative and tugs him close* Talk to me, Harper Collins, tell me all about it!
There may come a time when a girl needs agent,
But contracts are a scribe’s best friend.
There may come a day when my star is on the ascent,
But get that dime or else no climb!
But beware when they start to descend.
It's then that those jerks leave with all their perks,
Contracts are a scribe’s best friend...
But contracts are a scribe’s best friend.
But I think deals you make with the devil
If you don’t want your reputation destroyed.
And you can't type a sentence to begin. [*fingers hunched over imaginary keyboard*]
But stiff back or stiff fingers,
You’ll type so long as the money lingers…
*plucking contracts out of agents and editors’ hands who are handing them to her and waving them*
Cuz' contracts are a scribe’s best friend….
Hellion: Okay, Question of the Day: clearly getting a contract is not the only measurement of success within writing? What is being a writer really to you? Is it about getting a contract—or do you consider yourself a writer if you write?
Books by the Crew
42 comments:
I love when you break into song.
I have to say I'm having an existential meltdown about this the past weeks. I think revising is doing it to me.
I used to think if I was writing, creating, that made me a writer. But as I'm revising, I'm reading and writing with publishing in mind.
So, maybe both at different times in the process?
LMAO
I love these blogs.
I'd like to say that I measure my writing by progress (which doesn't happen often) but I think it's mostly measured by how happy I am with what I just spent my time on. I've been just bouncing around lately and not writing anything in sequential order (which I'm fanatical about doing) and just writing whatever feels right at the moment. I have a lot of crap that just doesn't fit together, but I'm happy with it.
I don't consider myself a writer. I write in my spare time. I dabble in the writing arts.
Marnee: I think you're right. When I'm first drafting something...I'm in it for the writing. But with revising, you're looking at it in the mindset of wanting someone else to like it. And usually when I'm in the revising process, I don't like the story hardly at all. *LOL* (Maybe I should stick with parodies.)
Sin: I'm beginning to think I dabble in the writing arts too. *LOL* Three day weekend--and how much did I write? Exactly.
I had 4.5 days off.. what did I write... ?
Absolutely zero.
It's very sad. I could've wrote my blog, but I didn't even do that. LOL
I love this!!! And I can totally see this picture. I think you just inspired me to dress as Marilyn for Halloween. LOL! And since kiddo is going as Marion from Robin Hood, it makes sense.
When I first started I said I was just writing for fun. Then I said I was just writing to see if I could finish a story, but I never intended to publish. Then I got the bug and now I want to sell. I'll still be writing and a writer if I never get the contract, but it's what I want.
But you also can't measure your success on getting the contract because that only means you've sold one book, maybe two or three. After that, you're back to trying to get the contract. So it's the writing that should be the sole measure. At least in this realist/business person head of mine. LOL!
I'm so boring.
Sin, leave it to you to make me feel better! Sorta. Okay, no I'm going to feel guilty about it because that's what I do.
That's true, Terr. Just because you sell the first book (or 3) doesn't mean you'll sell any others. Okay. Still, if we're using writing as a sole measure, I'm not writing very much either. *LOL* I did okay last week; but 3 days off? Gah!
But you have how many finished or in progress MSs? That's why you're a writer. Because you have stories - terrific stories - in that head of yours and you get them on paper. You may not be the quickest writer, but few of us can compete with Marnee's proficiency. LOL!
Some people were born to write. That's you.
Ter: You should totally be Marilyn for Halloween. I totally recommend it. The most fun I had at Halloween was the year I was Marilyn Monroe and the year I was Eve. Both had blonde wigs. (Blondes do have more fun.) Plus with the Marilyn outfit, I didn't have to sew: I have this totally vampy black dress that works and the wig (since I clearly wasn't going the full route to cut and dye my hair platinum--wuss, I know.)
But be prepared for married men to hit on you. I wasn't kidding.
And as I don't get hit on all that often, I'm sure a little harmless ego boost wouldn't hurt. LOL!
I wonder if I could find something like that white dress. Hmmm...have to be careful as this is for taking a kiddo trick-or-treating. LOL! I'll see what I can find.
And I'd love to wear a blonde wig like that. I've never been a blonde before. LOL!
Oh, you can find that white dress EVERYWHERE.
Marilyn is excellent for an ego boost. *LOL* One of the faculty saw me and went, "Hellllooo, Marilyn." *LOL* Rather funny. Never mind what the student did. He was much more hysterical. You know how men can sometimes trip when they see women? Yeah, he did that.
Though the year I was a pirate, carrying a whip, also was pretty entertaining with the faculty.
I'd say finishing the MS would be success for me. But then again, I don't have any MSs under the bed fading away without contracts. I'm guessing my thinking will change then? Anyone?
Is getting to THE END not ever going to be enough?
I love it when you break into rhyme, Hellion. :-)
I write to escape, to go to places I can't go. That's what makes it worthwhile for me. I want to be someone else sometimes, do adventurous things. Be a pirate. :-D
Terr: Human nature is never satisfied with what they have, so NO, it will never be enough.
Kathy! I write to figure myself out. Cheap therapy. I'd write abou Grand Cayman to escape, but I think they're currently being pummeled by hurricanes.
Beautifully sung Hellion!
I loved Marilyn singing 'diamonds are a girls best friend'.
Somehow she seemed to appeal to intellectual men.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking (famous cosmologist) had her photo in his office for a long time.......I think she helped him study the stars. *g*
I could go OFF on the worldly measure of success (as a mostly SAHM, I am passionate about denouncing the world's standard of a paycheck equating with success or accomplishment).
But I still want a contract.
At the same time, I feel a measure of success when I know I've written a good scene or conveyed what I want to convey in a scene. This is redoubled when my crit partners compliment said scene or characterization. (When they have critiques, of course, that just means they're helping me get closer to that point!)
And of course, as mentioned, putting "The End" on a manuscript is pretty freakin fantastic, too. Still working on the real "The End—this is actually READY," though.
*perches in Q's lap, flipping back her blonde hair as she pours some scotch, breathy purr* I have a feeling Marilyn helped a lot of guys see the stars. But I imagine she'd take that as a compliment: she always wanted to be thought of for her intellect more than her looks.
Jordan: Now, now, don't hold back...tell us how you feel... *grins* You're right...I do get a wonderful charge when I have a CP read my work and laugh at all the right spots. I haven't had anyone read my stuff in quite some time...and making myself laugh isn't quite the same.
I still want a contract too.
So absorbed with remembering Marilyn that I forgot to answer the question!
I think contracts are a very mercenary way to measure writing success.
Writing can be many things to many people. A love letter can reach the heights of creativity and be read by one person only.
Writing can also be a way of expressing artistic feelings through poetry or prose.
Personally I write for relaxation and enjoyment. If the results appeal to others so much the better.
To earn my living I have a proper job *g*
*shakes finger at Q* Are you saying writing books is not a proper job? *grins wickedly*
Oh dear!
Hellion, when you flip back your hair like that and wave scotch under my nose, I am lost to this world.
I only meant a proper job for me! *g*
*winks* Yeah, Q, I thought that was what you were saying.
I'm a writer because all these obnoxious beings in my head won't shut the hell up! I didn't chose writing, it chose me. Ask my cps, I'm the worse at grammar and sentence structures, in fact, I'm the queen of run ons.
Oh, but I'm in the revisions stage, the first round of revisions complete. I'm now on the second, biting my lip with every word, praying for a contract when it's all done.
Renee
Q - I love the bit about the love letter. So true. So true. And for the record, I knew how Hawking was before you add the () part. :)
Renee - That part of Hellion (yours not ours) that I read was awesome. You'll see the contract, my dear. And many after it, I'm sure!
I'm with Q on this one. I'm not as motivated to write and sell. I just want to write something that I think is good and get a sense of pride or accomplishment from it.
At the beginning of every school year I've been asked to write a little something about my kids for their teachers. They give you 5 or 6 lines at the bottom of a page with other questions on it. It usually says something like - "Tell us about your child to help us get to know them and make their school year successful". I, of course, open a Word document and give them a page and a half about my child. I always get anxious about this - not wanting to brag or be too negative, but still wanting to convey their strengths and weaknesses. I finished the one for my son (always the harder of the two for some reason) last week and had my DH read it. I'll never forget the feeling I had when he swiveled around on his chair, looked me straight in the eye and said with a big smile on his face - "You should do this for a living!" It's a good feeling to be able to express yourself and have even just one other person appreciate it.
For right now I'm a dabbler too and that's enough for me.
*shaking head at Irish*
Famous last words. Those are the exact words I said oh about two years ago. LOL! Love that you write all that about your kids. Kiddo's teachers have never asked for that. But they always seem to figure her out pretty quick. She's just like her mother, an open book. *sigh*
Q-I think I'm jealous of your wife. But you're correct. Every now and then(far and few) Mr. Scott will leave me little notes. The one I'll treasure the most though, is the one he made in wood shop when we were in high school. He made a heart, and on it he wrote "With intent to love." Twenty years later we're still together.
Terri-Thank you. You keep having faith in my ms, because I'm so lack confidence at this point and I haven't even queried.
Irish-I obsess over everything I write. Always worried how it will come off. I can never seem to get my point across in a 'right' way without offending someone, so I tend to keep quiet.
Renee
Renee
Renee: revision is key! :) Okay, PERSISTENCE is key, but revision helps. :) Hang in there, you're not the only one who obssesses over single syllable you put on the page. Writing is subjective. Or as I like to think: You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make it drink. (CONFIDENCE, Renee, don't make me break out my Sound of Music parodies! Nobody wants that!)
Irish: Awww...you know what my parents would have said: "Child never picks up after herself and leaves dishes everywhere. And don't get me started about the soda cans." And that would have been my college description.
Renee - my sister in offense. I've been saying the wrong thing since I learned to talk. It's a terrible affliction. Many years of thinking before speaking is the only that has saved me. That and being on the radio where you have to be VERY careful what you say and how you say it.
If my parents had written a description for me it would have read, "Don't look at her the wrong way or she'll cry. And by all that's holy, don't ask her a question, she'll talk your damn ear off!"
For some reason I read Q's comment and thought he called Stephen Hawking a cosmotologist.
You will never know the fit of giggles I had over this thought.
Sin - LMAO!!!
Oh this song parody made me laugh! (And it's so true)!
I'm a writer iso of an agent iso publication.
Wanted ads, writer's style. LOL.
Sin's reading mishap has made me giggle this afternoon too. *LOL*
Ely, I'm just impressed you were so...succinct. My want ad would be shelved next to War & Peace.
Hellion - just when you think you've done an incredible bit - you outdo yourself once again.
Brilliant, my dear, brilliant!
And to answer your question - a contract is part of the dream come true. An affirmation that someone out there thinks your work has merit. So, I'll keep on writing because each manuscript, each revision brings me closer to making my dream come true.
Brava, Hellion! Another example of your genius!
My definition of writing success is flexible. The first time I got paid for writing was when I wrote a love letter for someone. I was twelve, and I felt very successful. :) At the moment, success is finishing these @#%#@ revisions. In my grandest dreams, success is a very good advance and later a place on the NYT bestseller list. Dream big, right?
Janga: As someone I'm fond of frequently tells me, "Go big, or go home." *LOL* Dream big. It's better to aim at the stars and miss than aim at the gutter and hit it.
Santa, you're right. All the steps are important...there is always a new challenge once you get "what you want." If I got an agent, there'd be a dozen other issues I'd have to contend with. *LOL* And not one of them would be: "What should I spend my advance on first?"
“Well gosh… look what I missed yesterday. Sigh… that’s what I get for doing laundry. I really gotta get my priorities straight! “
And
Writing? I don’t ever think that I would… could… apply the term Writing to what I do. It sounds too weird to me. Because, I don’t write. I am a painter of pictures. Only in this case I am painting the picture… you writers call it a story… with words.
Success for me is measured in “cans”. Can I tell you a story that’s gives you some insight into “a moment”? Can I Engage your senses or “your sense of” in such a way that you feel like you were standing next to me… or inside of me? Can I give you insight? Can I make you understand the whys and the hows? Can I make you laugh? Can I make you cry? IF I Can do those things… make you think… make you feel… even if it’s just for a nanosecond ….
Then yes… I Can say
Quite honestly
I am a success
And finally
Speaking of Success
*clap*Clap*CLAP*
Bravo Maestro Hellion!
*bows* Thank you, Julie...and I love your definition of success. Very true. I do love the feeling of accomplishment when I can get another person to read something I wrote and have them go, "I love Ben" (lying, cheating jerk he appears) or "Lucifer is so...delicious...and sad." That's my favorite.
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