Inner Workings of a Muse
I often find myself in a fight with my muse for creative power over my brain. So today, I'm cheating. I keep a writing diary. I have for almost three years now. When we have it out, I write letters to myself. It's mostly in character. So today, I bring you the inner workings of my mind.Date: October 04, 2006
Mood: Well, I've gotta tell you, muse, I'm just peachy because of you... You feel me?
Inspiration: My level of confidence is in the dirt. But I'm hanging on by a thread.
Music: Brackish- Kittie (Explains a lot, doesn't it.)
Introduction- How we met--
When I met her, it was like any other day for me. The drive into work was the same. The phone calls were the same. The music on the radio was the same. Nothing was different. Except for her voice. It was eerily haunting in it’s sweetness. A hint of sarcasm. Scratch that. Full of sarcasm. She threw a shoe across the room and said very quietly, “Get out.”
She had my full attention. To throw a shoe (which is like an offense in my book. Throw a knife. A whip. A clock. Anything but the five inch heel in patent leather. That’s a sin.) But her voice. Haunting. Like she’d done this before. Knew what to expect. That it was coming. I didn’t know what “it” was at this point, but I was engrossed. I had to know. So I listened all day. Tuned in quietly to my thoughts as she continued to talk to me. More like musings to herself, spoken to a silent confident.
Then I heard his voice. Cool. Calm. Collected. The type of voice that all women turn their heads toward on the street. The type of voice that gives you goosebumps when confronted in the dark corner of a club. His voice was enough to send shivers down my spine. But I could feel her tense up. I could feel her movements as sure as they were my own. She crossed her arms. Her breathing became more controlled, and even. And her mind shut down. This was “it”. This is who deserved the “get out”.
He walked into the room as if he owned it. I wasn’t sure. He might have. The look in his eyes was a dark gleam He knew what he wanted. He expected to get it. No wasn’t an option at this point between them. She closed herself off even more and I had to wonder if this was about to get really ugly. It wouldn’t be the first time. My mind played host to some twisted scenes in the past. I just hoped that this wasn’t going to be one of them. I liked her. I wasn’t sure who she was. But I was willing to find out. That had to be something. Right?
“I asked you to leave.” Her voice was soft in a room full of tension and the hair rose on my forearms. There was a warning in her voice.
He laughed. A baritone rich in velvet. It was almost cruel how much I wanted to love him. “You told me to get out.”
I could feel her shrug. “We must interpret “get out” differently then, because you’re still here.” Her voice gave away no emotion. Flat. Distant. Meant to annoy him.
But it didn’t. He came to a stop at an arm’s length distance away from her. Close enough to touch, but he held back. His stare was hot on her skin. And it was obvious she was uncomfortable with him. I wasn’t sure why. They had some sort of a relationship. I could tell that much. But the depth of that relationship was stunted by their inability to communicate with one another. Unwilling to share information.
And then it clicked all of a sudden. They worked together. The look in their eyes, they couldn’t react. No matter how much he wanted to and how much she pulled away emotionally from him, it was always going to be there, between them. The fire. The ice. It was love at it’s greatest point.
Sadie, I thought to myself. I knew her just as I knew myself. Her name was Sadie. Her father was dead. Her sister was murdered. Her mother hates her and Sadie’s lived with guilt that’s rotted her heart. She doesn’t want anything to do with a partner. Especially one who’s using her to get what he wants.
And the devil. Well he was easy. With the silver tongue and confidence of a sultan, he was Ash. And he wanted her. Not only for information, but in every way possible. And to Ash, a challenge was just the excuse he needed to get closer to her.
And there it was, at midnight, on October 4, 2006, my grandfather’s birthday, I knew I had my first original plot beginnings. Sadie Madalyn Michaels was born like a wildfire blowing in a strong breeze. And we haven’t looked back since.
So how was it for you? Do you remember anything remarkable about your first encounter with your hero/heroine? Remember where you were? Readers, are there any hero/heroines that have stuck with you and made you think that you could write or identify with that particular character? And does anyone else keep a writing journal to refer back to? Or even just a book of thoughts?
Books by the Crew
59 comments:
*waving* Siiin!!! Long time no see! I missed you.
No book of thoughts, no journal, no anything for me. I tried. Really. I don't know if it's because I can't seem to be able to pour my thoughts/myself on blank pages or because my life is so boring a monk would yawn reading it, but I never managed to keep one of those.
As for heroes that have stuck with me I think there are two: Ranger and Acheron. Two hot über alpha males. (Except when their creator turns them into whining losers: then I do my best to forget this ever happened) They even tricked me in thinking I could write fanfiction....if they weren't so hot I would smack them a good one, because they obviously were just making fun of me.
As for heroin I would say "hold on, I'll think about it and come back later" but honestly if I actually have to think about it, then it just means none of them stuck with me....
What a blog! You're so good at this. So in tune with your characters. No wonder I can't get into deep POV. I'm always hovering OVER my characters, not in them the way you do.
I've kept a regular journal since my senior year of HS. It started with me lamenting into an old notebook about not going to the prom. Oh, the angst on those pages. Many of them are spotted with teardrops.
I've never kept a writing journal, though I think I should. I keep getting all these ideas and I only write down some of them. Goodness knows with my memory the more I journal the better off I'd be.
Some of my characters come to me when I'm trying to fall asleep. I'm not sure about Bryan & Celi but I know that's where Anna & Max, and the two in my ex-baseball player/HS English teacher came from. Joe & Julianne appeared when I was driving by a new construction on a boat building company, the couple in my Romantic Comedy showed up while driving and listening to Blake Shelton, and my chick-lit para came to me while in the bathroom (getting ready not *going to*).
I guess I have a lot of people living in my head. I didn't realize it until I put them all together here. LOL! I'll have to think about characters I've read.
Do I remember the first time I met Luc? Yes. I was in church. I'd met him before...in Sunday School, but I wasn't overly interested in him then. But this was much later. I was in the back pew, staring at the stained glass...and the preacher had just got done spewing some brimstone, and he'd said something to the effect that God would never forgive Lucifer.
To which I immediately rejected by thinking, "That'd be dogmatically incorrect. God is all forgiving...SO the only reason Lucifer couldn't come back is that he didn't ask. After all, it's right there...you *have* to ask."
Then I was like, but that's the real trick, isn't it? WHY would Lucifer ever ask? What is his 'life' like anyway? And what would it take to bring him back?
As for Ben, he came out of a story about this guy I know. Who'd bought his wife a gun for Christmas...and his girlfriend showed up at the house. And I got to thinking, you know, what if he'd gotten shot? And so I started a story with this guy getting shot by this woman the heroine doesn't know...and when I started I didn't even know if he was a cheating jerk or not.
Good mornin' y'all!
Stef *waving madly* I was just thinking about you last night and how I hadn't seen you. I think I saw you post a message in PC's group yesterday, but I've been so busy at work, I can't keep up with anything.
I've seen you write. You do a great job. You just don't see it. And there's no way your life is boring. I know better than that comment, so I will ignore it.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that Al (from Kim Harrison's books) was the first hero I really ever lusted after, even after I put the book down. (I know you think I'm crazy). The Earl of Mayne (Eloisa James) really struck a cord deep down inside. I was so glad at the end of the series when he ended up with Josie. Though, I firmly believe it could've been me. Ranger, for me, as well. Ranger stalked me, literally, through my dreams. I even thought about rereading an early book from the series just so I could hear that voice inside of my head. But I haven't. Another hero that's now sticking to me like glue is Edward Cullen from Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Saga.
As for my own characters, Ash dreams a lot with me. Lately, between the three of them, it's been Ruiz and Sadie fighting. Ash is waiting, biding his time because he knows right where he belongs and he doesn't have to get into the middle of it in order to make her come to him. He knows she will.
Ter, good mornin' hon! I dunno about being good at this. I'm usually sucking air to come up with something each week.
For me, I write in first person, so it's easy to get inside of my heroine's mind. Easier for me to go deep into the POV. See it as I would see it. Third person for me is out of the question. It's about being the one going through the motions, the one realizing who's stalking, who's watching, grooming, plotting against me. It's fun. Like living a murder mystery on a daily basis.
You can do that with third person. I've read some of your writing. You do a great job within your own POV. You don't hover.
I, however, haven't kept a personal journal since I was an angsty teen. Those pages are filled with thoughts I'd never want anyone to read. Which is why I need to find them and burn them. LOL
Hellion, Sunday School and meeting Luc... LMAO. Only you. I love when you get inspired with new ideas. They are always the most interesting plot ideas I've ever heard. You have a great imagination.
Sin: Al is creepy. And you're insane.
Twilight is on my TBR pile. Yup I yielded to the pressure! LOL Will read it some time this summer.
Characters who have stuck with me...
Sugar Beth from SEP's Ain't She Sweet.
Hardy Cates from LK's Sugar Daddy & Blue Eyed Devil
Mayne - 'nuff said. :)
Kathleen & Johnny Henry from Garlock's With Heart and After the Parade
All three sisters from Nora's Three Sisters Island Trilogy. (and the men who loved them)
The Gallaghers from Nora.
The Brothers from Nora's Chesapeake Bay Series.
Al is not creepy. He's just deadly. My type of demon.
I can't believe I forgot Hardy Cates!
I love me some Hardy Cates. *swoons* And the Earl of Mayne...I'd go to Regency England just on the thread of hope he'd be there. *sighs* Although admittedly I'm currently reading The Lost Duke of Wyndham, and I love Jack Cavendish-Audley. *LOL* The fact he's always smiling and saying outrageous stuff is totally the type of man I adore, even when he's furious and saying suave, droll, and seductive things.
I about fell out of bed at the bit where he asks her to "tend to his wounds" and give her The Look, the one that says, I need you and only you and you might just be the one who ruins me for all other women (or something to that effect)--at this point I'm mixing up PS I Love You the movie and this novel...but the gist is the same: he's an Irish-born charmer who can twist any girl he wants around his finger...or any other body part.
Stef, you should hear her rhapsodize about Al in person. (You might have, actually, being Amish, I forget about phones...)--but she makes Al sound like a real charmer actually. I can see the draw. *LOL*
We can't forget Rothgar! The head of the Malloren family, Jo Beverly created an institution with that one. And Nicholas from the Company of Rogues books. Beverly again. That woman is so damn good.
Wulfric Bedwyn from Mary Balogh runs very close behind these guys. And then there's the Malory men from Linsey. There's just something about these guys you can't resist.
I love that this Al character has been described as a demon, creepy and a killer and then he's referred to as a real charmer. LOL!
Hellion: Got Sin on the phone only once...she giggled all the time (she's got a very nice "giggle" mind you)
But she's emailed me endlessly to rave about Creepy Al. I love Kist. Or loved. KH killed him. Stupid girl....
Is the LDoW any good? I wanted to order it but I've read mixed reviews about it.
I know! She sounds 6 doesn't she? Very innocent, up until she explains some gruesome death...
I'm loving it so far (and I got it from the library, mind, because I wasn't sure about it)--but he's just the sort of hero I enjoy reading. If you like them charming and funny, then this is the book. If you like them broody and stoic, you might want to wait for Thomas' book.
Stef, I swear. I will shut up the giggling. I can't help it. You sound so sweet and proper and innocent on the phone and when you cuss, it makes me giggle.
Charming and funny? mmmm I might pass on that one then. I prefer witty to funny, and I like them dark and tortured....
It's very sad I sound six on the phone. I can't help it. And I titter like an idiot when I get nervous. Or talk obsessively.
And details are necessary so you get the full vivid picture of what I'm describing. Don't hate because you have a wicked imagination.
Sin - I thought you sounded like a grown up. But then I had Hellion giggling in person so it was hard to hear. :)
I have the tendency to giggle which is rough when you're on the radio. Luckily, I was often complimented on my cute giggle. That was usually AFTER they got over the shock that the sexy voice on the radio was coming from this package. LOL!
It's not sad. It's adorable. Just disconcerting when you follow it up with details of how you'd dismember this character and hide the body...
Al is very devilish in a good way Ter. I adore him. He is so evil, so utterly in control, that I would hand my soul to him on a silver platter and spend the rest of eternity in the Ever After with him.
Sin - I'm going to have to go with Stef on this one. You're insane.
That's Sin's tell right there: she loves a man who's IN CONTROL. Not a man who SAYS he's in control, but one who shows up and takes control without any fanfare or arguing about it. One who takes the decision from her, even as she fights him every step of the way.
Of course, I gotta admit that's sexy...in the right guy.
I never meet guys like that. I just scare guys most of the time.
Sin! Man you can write!! I got lost in your blog like a ship in a fog. Had to cry out to hear my echo ping off the reef. :-)
It's witty funny. I don't know how dark and tortured he is. Julia Quinn is not exactly known for "dark and tortured" you know? I remember the hero's childhood (he describes it): he said it was good. Loves women, so no bad breakups. The most tragic thing about him is that he's an orphan, but since he was raised by "really great people", you can tell he's torn up about it.
So if you're looking for tortured: not your book. Thomas' book would be tortured, I think. After all, Thomas has been raised expecting (and currently IS the Duke of Wyndham)--and low and behold, here comes this highwayman who turns out to be the REAL duke. He had it ALL and will now have nothing: he's the tortured character in this cast.
Don't worry, Terr, I don't meet those guys either. And I have the same issue: "You scare men." Honey, I ain't even trying. You want me to scare one? I'll scare one.
Clearly the IN CONTROL men I'm talking about are: fictional. Ranger comes to mind!
I've never read anything by Julia Quinn yet. I think I'll wait for Thomas' book. Thanks for the input Hellion.
You know, my mom told me once that I intimidate people. You've met me. I'm not intimidating. I'm not stupid but I don't push people around. Heck, I'm the pollyanna of this group!
And you kind of scare me so I totally get that. LOL!
Stef: that aside, the darkest book she's written is the secret diaries ones. That hero was way out of the box for a Quinn hero. But it's no where in a ball park of Ward or Harrison tortured. *LOL* (What is?)
Terri: Gee, thanks. Me and my complex are going to a different sandbox now...
But we've talked about this. I think scaring people is a compliment. It means you're tough. Feared and respected, remember? That's a total compliment to me.
That's why I do and don't get what my mom said. I know I can scare people - I am my father's daugther - but I think she meant it as unapproachable. Which is silly since I could talk to furniture. I'm always approachable.
Slow today, sorry. But great blog, Sin!
Wow the first time I met Julian and Cory. I met Cory first. There she was, all over-confident that she didn't need love in her life and arrogant about her ability to manage everything.
Then Julian, all sarcastic and brooding, sort of just came naturally.
PS. I loved LDoW. I wasn't impressed with the hero in the SDoMMC, so I thought this hero was better. More like the Bridgertons.
Marn - I know you changed Julian's name once or twice. Did that mess with you? Because I have a terrible time trying to change names. My characters show up with their names. I don't really pick them.
Nope, didn't mess me up. I called him Will before that and it just didn't fit him. Julian is more him.
And I think I like Edward for this guy. It's very him, especially with my most recent ideas for the plot.
I don't remember where I was when I thought of the idea for Sam and Kate, but I do remember that the first scene came to me of a young woman, covered in chocolate, opening a door to a reality makeover show crew. I remember thinking: what if she didn't want the makeover show, even though it's obvious to one and all that she needs a makeover?
For Simone and Noah, the idea first came when all the heiress and "starlets" first started getting in trouble like Paris and Lindsey Lohan. My idea was that what if a heiress a la Paris lives this type of lifestyle and she's simply misunderstood? What if her lifestyle was suddenly taken away from her? What if she decided to run off to South Africa to redeem herself?
And even though I'm not writing it, I remember when the idea for the historical came to me during the time of FanLit. Literally, it was a scene of a young woman winning a shooting wager--blindfolded, and the haughty duke who disapproves of her hoydenish ways. I have fondness for Lydia and Oliver because it's really when I started writing again before I found my "voice" in contemporaries. If I could write historicals, I would. But my historicals sound like contemporary characters who've been transported to Regency England! LOL.
And honestly, if we were both gay and living in California, I'd marry JQ for writing that book.
Oh, god, The Lost Duke of Wyndham...if that book was a person, I'd marry it. I absolutely love, love, love that book!!!
*LOL* Ely, you kill me.
I miss Lydia and Oliver! That butterfly scene still stays with me. And you all know, NOTHING ever stays with me. LOL! Ely, I never thought your historical stuff sounded contemporary.
Now, where did Murphy come from? LOL!
Thanks, Terri. I loved that butterfly scene, too. Sigh. It needed work, but that scene wrote itself. But I bet if I reread it now, I'd cringe. I was just looking at the EJ/JQ board and looked at the old version of TACOM when I first posted it almost two years ago, and I'm like wow, I've definitely grown in my writing. LOL.
Murphy was just there, and I thought he'd be the perfect foil for Sam; the dog, in many scenes, made Sam more human. And well, put Sam in situations that he had never been in before. *g* Murphy was one of the most fun characters to write. He was a force in itself.
Oh Hellion, and Jack has a secret. Just wait till you get there. *evil grin*
Kathy, you're too kind on my writing ability. LOL Imagine my suprise when I opened up the blog this morning and the font wasn't my handwriting. Darn blog. I had the font perfect and everything. I'm pleased you liked the blog :)
Ely! Thanks for dropping by today! SO many meetings! Wow!
Marn- no problem hon! You're not late at all. And anyway, being late is very fashionable. LOL
I think you're the first one to call me fashionable in a long time. *smoothing my sweat shorts and teeshirt with a sigh* At least I showered and brushed my teeth today. LOL!
I write notes but I never thought of writing letters to myself. What a brilliant idea!
The first time I met Gavin was when my heroine barged into his study demanding to become his mistress in exchange for her brother being held for ransom. I knew then and there he was much more than an English border warden.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Renee
Marn- you're always fashionable in my book. I rock the t-shirt, sweatpant look all the time. Stylin'. And my hair is so short that I rock the rat's nest.
I dunno about brilliant, Renee. But it works for me. For now at least. Then I'll have to do something different. When I write letters to myself, it's almost like when I get up the next day, I can look at the letter objectively and not say it's crap. With notes, I can pitch them. But with a letter, it's almost too intimate to pitch. Head games. Gotta love them. LOL
Oh, I've decided that only vanity makes me comb my hair. LOL!! Who wants to be vain, I tell myself...
Or, I could just be lazy.
I have really wavy hair so without combing I will have a rat's nest 'fro. It's awesome. Of like movie star porportions tricked out on a binge.
We'd make great roommates. LOL
Hey, I just got the coolest hair cut. I wash, comb, mess it up with my fingers, and leave as is. It's the first time in my life, I love my hair, not only is it easy to maintain, surprisingly it actually looks good.;)
Renee
Renee! I love those kinds of haircuts! Did you go pixie? That's sorta what I've got, but a inverted bob. Super easy to fix when my straightener cooperates.
I love haircuts like that too!!
Mine is getting a little long but I just dyed it strawberry blonde. It looks kinda cute.
I've been debating the fingers through the hair, pixie deal. Maybe if I lose a little weight.
Darlin', you're tiny. I'm much bigger than you and I've got a short hairdo. It takes weight off your face which is another reason why I keep it short.
I wanted to dye mine strawberry blonde. It wouldn't look good at all.
Oh the pixie's are adorable. I wish I could pull one off, but I have way too curly hair, almost ringlets but not quite. I did have my hair dyed though a cinnamon chocolate with caramel highlights.
Renee
WOW! I bet that is just gorgeous!
Thank you.
Ok, just for you I posted a picture on my blog. I'm not sure I'll keep it up long. ;) I'm a bit shy. And the only reason I'm sharing is because I do love my hair, I just wish the picture was better. It's a dang camera phone, my dd broke my regular camera. And when my oldest moved out she took her camera with her, sheesh, the nerve. :)
Renee
Post a Comment