Waiting for the Ceasefire
I’m currently revising Girl on a Grecian Urn, and am stuck at the sex scene.
Clearly performance anxiety isn’t limited to just real life. In fact, I think I might have a bit more performance anxiety at this moment. After all, if it sucks in real life, it’s over in, what, five, six minutes? But that sex scene will live in infamy forever. I mean, it could be the breaking part of an accept or deny from a publisher. “I loved everything but your crappy sex scenes. No thanks.”
Though I think the possibility of a publisher saying they think my heroine’s breasts are dead is unlikely—and that would be an improvement over some real life encounters—the thought of being bad in the sack on paper is a new scope of demoralizing.
Now mind you, I’ve written the scene. So it’s not like I’m a sex scene virgin; it’s just that the first draft is so godawful, I’m scrapping and going again. And my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th attempts haven’t been producing anything Kleypas or Hoyt-worthy. And it’s an irony because Livie has such a great time with Ben, you’d think the scene would be a bit more readable. But no.
One of the suggestions they make about writing a sex scene is to do it all at once. Drink some wine, write it all…but I’ve not been able to do this yet. I get about two pages, get bored with them (and apparently with what they’re doing), and decide I’d rather just turn over and go to sleep. (Wine always puts me out like that. As does bad sex, incidentally.)
So while thinking about today’s blog…and my lack of writing (and motivation) lately, I dug through my personal horde of writer’s quotations for inspiration:
Writing a novel is like creeping along on your belly with shells exploding around you. It's only occasionally that there's a ceasefire and you can get up and run.
~Monica Ali
That’s kinda what I feel like. I feel like if I was crawling any slower through my revisions I would be going backwards, and all around me are shells exploding, encouraging me to bury myself deeper in the mud and just wait until ceasefire comes. But that’s no good. By the time a ceasefire shows up, I may have forgotten how to run. 
And I’m so fixated on finishing these revisions, that working on my “new” WIP is just as demotivating. It's sad when you'd rather go back to the folders on your desk, because at least you know how to staple. *sighs*
Because I need to get back on track and write, I found some Demotivator posters to inspire everyone.
And if anyone can give me any new tips on how to make my sex scenes readable, please let me know.
Is anyone else waiting for a ceasefire? Anyone else trying to figure out how to turn their manuscript into an inspirational—even with the hero married to someone else? (Yeah, no dice there either. Thought not.) Anyone else read Hoyt’s new book and loved it? (I found like three spots that were so lifted from Last of the Mohicans, I nearly fell out of bed laughing. She should not have mentioned she watched that movie over and over again. I'm just waiting until I'm published and someone goes, "OMG, she totally ripped that out of POTC!") That aside, I think it was a great book. And a lovely way to pass the time and not do revisions.
Books by the Crew
51 comments:
Captain, I would guess that finding novelty and originality for sex scenes must be close to impossible. Every angle and perspective must have been explored a zillion times already and the sex universe is only finite.
In the hope of assisting in your quest to break new ground I suggest that you look for the male POV and combine male obsessions into one orgasmic feast, with the woman looking bored the whole while.
Forget the wine and take three glasses of rum (I want the scotch!) Then you should be ready.
Male obsessions to include: a) food b)keeping fit c) football/sport d) Marylin Monroe
Heroine lies seductively on couch nibbling cake and pizza which she offers to prospective suitor. Crumbs drop inside blouse causing discomfort which hero alleviates by removing upper clothing and collecting crumbs with tongue.
Heroine looking bored begins to bounce ball on the floor practising her spin and raises one arm for the exercise ring dangling from ceiling.
Sorry...gotta go!
Perhaps someone else could chip in with further assistance *g*
Hellion, I know that proscrastination feeling so well. And the slow crawl instead of steady progress? My family know it as 'a teeth-pulling day (G). Every paragraph was like pulling out a molar. Good luck with it. Hope the revisions go a bit better.
Smiling at your sex scene trouble. They can be taxing to write, can't they? So far the love scenes are the one bit of my stories my editors haven't zeroed in on with a sharp blade. Of course, there's always a first time.
Hope you find the motivation you need soon!
Annie
I'm always waiting on a ceasefire. It seems to come less and less of late*sigh*.
I didn't know that Hoyt had watched Last of the Mohicans a ton while writing the book, but I definitely picked up on the Mohican vibe many times throughout the book.lol. That aside I still,like you, loved the book.
As for tips on writing sex...I have none personally, but Eloisa once said she writes all of her sex scenes last so she knows the characters really well and, I guess, knows what they'd be like in that situation*shrugs*. I hope that was helpful.
Great blog!
Where have I been?! I didn't know Hoyt's book was out! I loved her first three, I've gotta run to the bookstore today.
I've stopped waiting for the ceasefire. I have been writing through the shrapnel. The product doesn't sound as good as the stuff written through the ceasefires, but at least it's something.
Captain, we were once again channelling our thoughts. I was going to write on sex scenes this week as I'm in my first one. Alas, I've got no help for you. But, I'll be listening in.
Ha! I put off writing so much, I haven't even made it to the front lines yet. I can hear the cannon fire in the distance, but I can't see it yet.
I'm not an expert on writing sex scenes, but I know you well enough to know you need to relax. Try writing right after one of your massages. Have you tried late at night with very little light on and just the night sounds around you? That got me through my first one. Not that my first sex scene is any good, but at least it got written.
Aren't you the one that talks about the writing foreplay thing? (No, Marn, this is different from your writing foreplay. *g*) Think about writing that sex scene all day. Think about what you'd have him do to her. Where he'd touch her. What she wants to do to him. How he'll sound when she *ahem* has him in hand.
Think about nothing but that scene all day long and I'm positive it will be written by midnight!
Ter - tee hee!
I have to be in a certain frame of mind to write sex scenes. I also find the type of sex I write varies with the mood I'm in. If I've had a stressful day it's balls to the wall, if I'm in a melancholy mood, it's slow, emotional, and sweet enough to make you cry. The worse sex I've written, was a forced scene when I was writing just to be finished. If you force it, it will show. I either write from personal experience, or describe a great sex scene from a favorite movie.
I have no great wisdom on the subject, but I can share some terms you shouldn't use when describing sex organs...damn, I've already done that:)
I have to write sex scenes late at night otherwise I can't wrap my head around the motions. For me, a sex scene is just like anything else. I think about what I want out of the scene and I sit down to write it. It's one of those type of scenes I have to write from start to finish. I can't go to bed right in the middle of writing one (for me that would be like zonking out during sex-- weird.)
I write off of experience and a little imagination. Maybe watching a sex scene in a movie that's like what you want to write will help.
Quantam! No wonder the wine wasn't working. I forgot the most important writing rule of all: drink more rum! The male POV would be interesting, but as this is a book written in first person--I can't work it here. But I may try it in the Adam & Eve book. That'd be a hoot. Adam is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe.
Annie! There is that hope. Maybe editors are like most readers and just skip that scene? *LOL* I can't imagine skipping that scene; I love the sex scenes, if they're done right.
Kelly! Well, since this is revisions...I already know my characters. And true to form, Livie is being as neurotic as usual. Ben is cracking jokes, which is annoying me, but he's doing it to calm down Livie. I kinda wish Ben would be a bit more like Hardy Cates--and stop talking and starting...doing. *grins*
P.S. Terri, my brother was up until at least 3:30 or 4 last night...so my night sounds are disturbed with blaring bad B-movies from the living room. Thank God for earplugs.
Marnee! Run out and get it! It was very good. I love her little fairy tales woven throughout. I wonder if Hoyt writes the fairy tale before she starts writing the book, or after she's done with the book?? Probably after, but there would be something magical if she did it before, you know?
Terri! Don't quote my sermons back to me! You know I'm a do as I say not as I do!
Yes, I like the write from a scene in a movie bit. I'll have to try that. That's a good idea.
Hellion, I have church members hovering over my shoulder whenever I want to write sex scenes. I really have to do something about that....
Ah. Sex scenes. It took me the whole week of my vacation to finish one. And then I wrote another the other day, where the hero decided to walk out in the middle. Yup. Shoot me now.
Crickets! I meant crickets!
Kathy - stop writing at church.
Maggie, you and I must shop at the same store of Characters Who Don't Listen.
Kathy, I used to write sex scenes in church too. But my curious neighbors stopped lurking when I turned and asked the preacher's wife if she thought the hero would stop respecting the heroine if she swallowed. She said, "No."
Now they no longer stare at me in church.
Oh Maggie, you poor thing. You need to show that hero whose boss. Give him blue balls or something.
Terri's auditioning for our Room of Horrors position. She's dying to try out the Iron Maiden and thumb screws on someone.
Fierce. Our Terri is fierce.
See if I tell you anymore secrets...
Um, I must be weird, because I love writing sex scenes! When I hit a roadblock in another section of the book, I skip ahead to a love scene. At least there's a logical progression to a love scene, you know? Beginning, middle, end. (Well, evidently not in Maggie's book!)
I don't know. We get a wide variety of people, Terr. You might get volunteers for the screwing.
Then again, it might be a Princess Bride moment, where the 6-fingered man really wanted his victims to be HONEST about the pain, for posperity. If your volunteers enjoy pain, it probably wouldn't be the same as if I was your victim, since I hate it when bandaids are ripped off.
They hurt!
Waiting for a Ceasefire? Forgetaboutit. Things only get quiet & calm right before All Hell Beaks Loose. Trust me … says the woman who has been: in tornadoes, car wrecks, stampedes, an earthquake, carjacked, and had a close encounter with a wolf. I wonder? How many other women get a chemical proof suit, a respirator mask or a hardhat as gifts from their DH? And Inspirational is Easy! Uh… IMO… In fact I am actually gonna send someone an Inspiration Story about… puking. To… well… inspire them. Yah. I know, you’re all hoping that you are the lucky recipient, aren’t you? As far as writing a sex scene goes, my advice is just to try to relax. And it will come to you. Errr … or should that be cum to you? Either way. My advice is: just relax
No, you're not weird, Tess. *pause* You're a show off. Which is clear since you're not coming out with 1 book next year, but THREE. *grins*
But I'll have you know when I get your books, I'm skipping to the sex scenes then. Just to see if I can tell you wrote them first. *LOL*
Hellion said:
"You might get volunteers for the screwing."
This never happens, I can assure you.
Tessa - I secretly really like to write them too. You rarely (in my case never!) have to worry about others in the scene, no real need to describe the setting in great detail, and it's almost all *ahem* internal. That comes much easier to me.
There's just no way to have this conversation without everything I say having a double meaning. LOL!
Julie - well said. hehehe Can I guess who that puking thing is going to? Are there lemons involved?
Hellion, no skipping allowed! (yeah, right) Actually, those scenes I've skipped ahead to write are usually not only sex scenes, but *love* scenes - the emotional heart of the story, the scenes of greatest intimacy between my h/h, in every sense. I like to get that down on paper, and then I know what I'm building toward. Those end up being some of my favorite scenes.
But I have my share of roadblocks, for sure. I hate writing black moments. In both books one and two, I wrote around them and filled them in last.
“We get a wide variety of people, Terr. You might get volunteers for the screwing.”? OMG To funny. Gosh, what kind of "screwing" are we talking about here?
I’m gonna log off before I’m tempted to answer that
That should be TOO funny! Gawd.
No lemons.
And my puke story is Inspirational! So I wouldn’t bother sending it to Her.
It is going to A Serious Person.
Julie, you should be a Survivor contestant. I'm convinced that you would win. ;)
I agonized over the first sex scene I ever wrote, but the others were less difficult. Of course, I may find them easier because the sex scenes in my WIP are PG-13 rather than NC-17-rated (to Tiff's dismay, I know). LOL!
*LOL* Come on, Julie, answer it...I know you want to!
Janga, but I bet they are HOT PG-13 scenes! *grins*
Tessa, one of my favorite scenes I ever wrote was a black moment. I skipped ahead to write it. The heroine died; and I had the funeral and the fallout after with the hero, who's trying to deal with her death.
Maybe I've had more black moments in my life than sex scenes to draw from??
Ooh, I have puking in my second book! The heroine pukes all over the hero. And then he gives her tea with rum...and lemon!! No joke.
But it is not an inspirational.
Janga - with Keith Urban as your inspiration, there has GOT to be some heat in there somewhere. I just know it.
Tessa - you are talking angst and therefore Hellion cannot hear you. LOL!
Julie - Yes, she would never appreciate Inspirational! She couldn't get her mind out of the gutter long enough to read it. LOL!
Tessa - Really? Puking and lemons? I'll never be able to read that with a straight face.
Captain - I've got it! You need to remember sex ends with that little death thing. Then you can think of it as someone dying and you'll be throwing those words onto the page.
Maybe.
Oh, and Terri looking for volunteers to screw
I would not have believed it, but even skimming to the bottom of the list of comments, I can totally see how this post degenerated from a thoughtful post regarding motivation and musing on the trials of writing a sex scene to...puking.
What can I say, Kris, I'm a giver.
And puking is sinking a bit further than usual for us. I blame Tessa. LOL! The more amazing thing is that the topic of sex hasn't gotten worse. We can get much nastier in that regard.
Wait until Sin has more time...
LOL, I love this place.
I didn't bring up puking! That was someone else. I just added to the conversation. :)
Oh yes, that's right, it's Julie's fault. *shifts blame to the proper source*
Kris - we may not be a pleasure garden, but we are always on a pleasure cruise. LOL!
Hey, what did I do? The truth is Tessa
I wasn't talking about ordinary puking... I was talking about Inspirational Puking! Which is an altogether different story! "cough" I would tell you the tale so that you could judge for yourself
but
A. It is a true story
B. The pukee isn't me, so its not my story to post
C. I'm lazy.
D. And I haven't typed it yet.
E. Did I mention that I am lazy?
Yah
I almost feel sorry for the person who is gonna get the puke story, except she did ask that I
quote "treat her like all of my other friends". Sound familiar... anyone?!!!!!
That's just asking for it right there. Anybody should know better than that. *shakes head in wonder*
I wrote my first sex scene at Starbucks - by hand ;) - with my kids' babysitter served me coffee. My that has a surreal feel to it, doesn't it?
I just read a book where the hero leaves the heroine on the edge, if you will.
Santa
Considering puking as foreplay....
I'm so confused.... :-)
Hellion, did you really think I was writing in church? Or were you just pulling my leg.
Oops! I did just post that, didn't I?
And what's with all the puking and lemons? Maybe your character shouldn't swallow. :-)
teehee - Kathy, that's the blog equivalent to "Did I say that out loud?"
And that would be our form of sarcasm. Don't mind us.
Santa - that's so wrong on all accounts.
What? *innocently batting eyelashes*
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