Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Pirate Poet Laureate Speaks

I met a pirate writer on the sea
Who seemed quite frolicsome to me.
She claimed she knew the quickest way
To keep your Muse from running away.
“How so?” I asked, quick to know.
My muse was always much on the go.
She whispered, “Tis going to sound trite—
But you have to sit and write.”

Good thing I wasn’t paying money for this advice.
I thought I should go while I could still be nice.
“Thank you,” I said, as I walked away.
I needed to find my Muse while it was still day.
A year passed, or maybe ten more.
My Muse despondent, writing a chore.
“I know I could write this if writing were fun.”
Why scribble when it’s crap that I should shun?

While in port, I passed a cheerful bookseller,
Who had books stacked from attic to cellar.
And the picture on the back to my chagrin,
Was that same pirate writer with a shit-eating grin!
She hadn’t just wrote one book I could see—
But scores upon scores while I’d been at sea.
“But how?” I whispered as I bought one about Jack.
“How does she write these without becoming a hack?”

“Perfection,” the seller said with a quite knowing smile,
“Is completely overrated and on its way out of style.
In yoga, you learn perfection is what you can do today.
So sit and write it all down what it is you have to say.”
He held up a hand before I could argue—was he mad?
Didn’t see I was writing already with everything I had?
“You can’t fix what isn’t written—though many a writer has tried.
But doing so leaves you revising the same sentence 'til you die.”

“But…” I said, and he shook his head.
“I have no interest in excuses, no matter how bad.
We’ve all the same troubles, the same number of hours.
Writing a book was in her, and in your considerable powers.
“You write it or you don’t, it’s simple to plot—
You either tinkle or get off the pot.”
He’s right, I thought, as I read the name of the pirate in skirts—
Lord almighty, I’d ignored advice from the Nora Roberts.

13 comments:

terrio said...

The poet speaks such truth. *sigh* Yes, yes, I get it. We all get it. But whining can be such fun. Therapeutic even.

I've actually seen Nora say just that in an interview. And she also says her first draft is shit.

With hand on heart I make this vow
Before all pirates here and now
no more whining
no more pining
I swear on my rum, I will not throw in the towel!

Everybody now!

Sin said...

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I write like a pirate.
And so do you.

I can't believe Nora says that about her own writing. It just flabbergast me. The woman types out novels like none other.

I have no real words of wisdom today other than steer clear of people who cough and don't cover their mouth.

MsHellion said...

I understand therapeutic. I shiver in the cold outside after yoga class and vent about everything...whining is wonderful. The 8th wonder.

Just no whining this week. Give Pollyanna a complex and talk yourself up--and write 2 new pages of something. (Sin, being you have a bionic hand, this means, you have to write at least 10.)

irisheyes said...

Hellion you are a wonder! Very inspiring!

Ter - if you can't whine on your own blog where can you! My sister and I have a deal - we can whine all we want we just can't give up! When I was little the rule of the house was suffer in silence! That didn't go over real well with me. Hence, my nickname "punkin puss" (my little brother's was "mush mouse"). I guess I'm probably showing my age! Anyway, I learned early on - better out than in. More words of wisdom from Irish!!! LOL

Sin - your words of wisdom are actually very timely. I'm around kids a lot and I get sick in the blink of an eye! I'll add one more to it - Say "no thank you!" when offered a piece of birthday cake from the 4 year old with the runny nose who just blew out the candles!

terrio said...

Irish - I'm a deep believer in venting. But I try to catch myself at a certain point and turn the conversation so the ventee becomes the venter. LOL! My poor mother gets the worst of it. But I think she's perfected the art of ignoring me.

MsHellion said...

Everyone's poems have been great. Good job, guys!

True, if you can't whine on your own blog...where can you whine? That's like, if you can't talk bad about your own family, whose family can you talk bad...oh...I mean...never mind.

I washed my hands today, Sin. Repeatedly.

Irish, I think you've actually made me not desire cake! That never happens! Now I know I do have limits of the cake I will accept!

terrio said...

Man, I just had birthday cake too. But no 4 year olds came within in a mile of it as far as I know. It was good too. And it's just sitting in the break room, calling to me.

*off to the breakroom*

Sin said...

Irish! Wonderful advice I could've used two weekends ago! I'm a sucker for cake though. Too bad it gave me the flu! LOL

Maggie Robinson said...

Is Nora really the "Dread Pirate Roberts?"

Hellion, your poem is swellion.

Lissa said...

I wish I may

I wish I might

keep positive goals in my sight

and that's as prolific as I can recite

the fundamental nature of this simple plight...

I know it didn't make sense, but I felt pressured to rhyme:)

Great blog Cap'n message received loud and clear!

*clicking heels together and toddling into the sunset with my bottle of Rum*

Santa said...

Hellion, for fear of a flogging and a denial of my rum ration I swear to adhere to a real writer's schedule. No more drop offs and pick ups unless they involve my hero and heroine picking up where they left off and dropping off their inhibitions at the door!

So let it be written, so let it be done!

terrio said...

Maggie - you crack me up!

Lissa - you could always claim having to stop and make a rhyme is taking away from the writing. LOL!

Santa - we're writing poetry, not casting spells. That's next week. *w* hehehe

MsHellion said...

*LOL* Thanks, Maggie! And I did think about using "Dread Pirate Roberts"! We watch the same movies.

Santa, we never cut off rum rations. We'd never get any writing done if we didn't drink.

Ha, ha, and I edited my chapter 7 & 8, and added almost 300 words for a new part of the scene. Woohoo.

Hey, considering how bad I've been slacking, that's a Tolstoy effort, I assure you.