Monday, January 14, 2008
Riding the Waves....and Crashing
Well, it's nearly midnight Sunday night and I'm just sitting down to create a blog. I know, poor planning and procrastinating and all that bloody business, but I've been ruminating about this blog for days and can't seem to pin it down. Here's my problem – or what I think is my problem - I'm coming off a high.That's right, the adrenaline rush of working like a mad woman to get a short story submitted before deadline. This was an open submission call so I in no way want to imply that *my editor* wanted my MS by a deadline. This just put me in the running with who knows how many other aspiring (and probably published) authors for a summer anthology. So, what does this have to do with the price of tea in Tortuga? I'll tell you. Nothing really.
But, it does have to do with why I can't seem to pin down a topic for this blog. I'm spent. I've come down off my incredible adrenaline rush of the last week and crashed onto the shifting sands of nada. Yep, that's what I've got – nada.
But this is a topic in and of itself. When – notice I do not say "if" – when we get published, the pressure shifts from trying to get published to then trying to remain published. And to remain published, you have to write something else. And something else after that and something else after…oh, you get the idea. You have to WRITE MORE. But that's hard – said in my best whiney voice. Well, if my blog had a voice.
But there is a plus to this as well. I've never wanted to write so badly in my life. Last night I went to see a particularly angsty movie (and took the most emotionally unstable friend I have which was NOT a good idea) and on the drive home I heard a conversation in my head between the characters of my main WIP. When I got home, I had to get it down. It can't be but 50 words but by the end of those 50 words, I was crying. It's basically the scene that leads to and builds up to the black moment and it's really good. Oh, I can't wait to get there!
I've even dreamed about writing. If the dream is not about my WIP then it's about me writing the WIP. It's damn near an affliction at this point. So, I believe what I'm saying is finishing something is a double-edged sword. It's done, it feels great and the high lasts for days. But then the voices start again, you have to write more and the pressure builds and the doubts start all over again. And even with all the pressure and doubts, you can't wait to get to the keyboard.
Am I alone on this dingy or has anyone else felt this way? Have you finished a work and felt on top of the world only to crash when reality returns? Or do you coast right along, finishing, starting and finishing again as if it's naught but a lovely dance? And can anyone tell me why the hell we would ever drink tea in Tortuga?
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17 comments:
Writing is kind of addictive now. I, like you, did the deadline (I'm going to call it Dreadline when I blog about it on RI, LOL) thing last week. I wasn't quite ready to write sparkly fresh stuff afterward---writing 19,000 words in 8 days will do that to you--- but I must have written 6 blogs this weekend to be filed away for future use. And a drabble!I want to give myself a breather; at the same time I'm dying to revise. Kinda makes me wish I'd never started writing!
Like Maggie, I'm addicted now. I take a break after I finish something sometimes a few days or I just go back to editing something else, but I don't really ever stop. I don't think I actually crash after a book either. I enjoy it too much, and it's really only the other activity I do besides raise my kids and work during the day. So it's not like I have tons on my plate to crash from :D
Maggie - Don't say that! We're ecstatic you started writing or we'd never have that hysterical, historical romp or the greatest whore in Christendom. The world just wouldn't be the same without those and all the other great stories in that head of yours.
Tiff - You're like a freaking rock of Gibralter with this stuff. I think it's your intense nature. You're better at keeping an even keel while I'm more a roller coaster type person. If I ever get a grip on things, let's hope I can manage some consistency. LOL!
I know exactly what you mean, Ter. It's a little different for me cause I'm not pushing for a deadline or trying to make myself finish so many pages/words per day. I guess it's just amazing to me (someone who HATED English/Literature class) that most of the time I'd really rather sit down and write than do just about anything else. I always lived in my imagination a lot and had a pretty vivid fantasy life, but if I HAD to do it I always balked at it. Now it feels good just to get all this stuff out of my head and down on paper (or in the computer).
I've decide to not make this just one more "have to" in my life. That's kind of my downfall - I can take just about anything and turn it into a guilt producer. I didn't want to do that to my writing. I don't want to feel guilty about not writing or feel like I'm not doing enough. I want this one thing in my life to be for me and the thing that brings me pleasure not guilt or stress. It's such a different way of approaching something for me that it's kind of like I'm someone else while I'm at the computer creating this different world.
Great point, Irish. I call it the difference between my "want to" stuff and my "have to" stuff. Almost everything I ever do is because I have to. But writing is the only thing I do because I want to. So I don't want it to feel like it's some obligation or feel guilty for not doing it.
I'm trying to change the way I think of it and say it's important to me and therefore, I'm going to make the time to do it for me. That will take some doing to get my brain to work that way but I'm trying. *g*
I'm about maxed out on my writing. I feel I'm going to have the same problem on Wednesday, Ter. I'm nearly cross-eyed from the late nights. But I'm determined to finish it up today. Thank goodness.
And I'm rather addicting to writing myself. Though I go on writing benders where I write up a storm (lets say 80k in a month) and then I don't write for the next three. I need to learn how to chill out. LOL
I was going to ask--but you beat me to it: who the hell drinks tea in Tortuga. You drink RUM in Tortuga. It's why it's called TORTUGA RUM. Then you pet the sea turtles...since that's why it's name Tortuga.
I too am drifting around lost in a dingy with no oars, wondering what the devil I'm supposed to be doing. And I haven't gotten anything as good as 50 words on the page that makes me cry. Maybe I should write my end scene or something, because this opener is freaking killing me!
Sin - we need consistency. Let's work on that. LOL! And lets not do this crazy write a lot in a short time thing again. I'm still not recovered and I'm too old for these late nights.
Capn - I knew you'd pick up on that. *g* Can we tell I watched POTC1 yesterday? I say go for the ending. It works for other people, why can't it work for you? And it might make the opening fall right into place.
P.S. No idea what I'm blogging tomorrow. None.
Well, good to know I'm not any worse off than the Captain. LOL!
Speaking of Captains, anyone else catch Captain Wentworth in Persuasion last night? Hubba hubba...
If you are talking about the PBS version that I couldn't get to come in, I'm sticking my fingers in my ears. (Or covering up my eyes. LOL)
I haven't been blessed enough yet to finish something, but in the past year I have also started craving writing. In fact, it's all I seem to think about when I'm not writing.
And I finally watched POTC3 this weekend and I'm not sure how I feel about the twist. Still processing.
I wanna read the 50 words that made you cry!!!
Yep, Sin, that's what I'm talking about. I don't usually like blonds but that man is just fine.
Marnee - Wasn't that a twist and a half? LOL! I remember just sputtering and wishing that island scene could have been much more detailed and much less Dinseyfied.
And I don't know that this short dialog exchange would make anyone else cry. It probably wouldn't mean much without knowing the rest of the story. *g*
Seriously. And despite my mixed emotions about the twist, holy macaroni, did Orlando Bloom look hawt.
Beyond HAWT. Great googily-moogily...
This was the first movie where Orlie actually looked (and behaved) like a pirate. The other two movies, he was a blacksmith holding a sword. This movie made Will Turner.
And if you think about Will's GMC, and Davy Jones' GMC, and Jack's GMC--and then factor in the all powerful: WHAT'S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?--and you should have seen that twist coming, mates.
Great blog Terrio!
When I wrote fan fic I would go from one story to the next. Most of the time I was writing more than one story at a time.
If I could just feel that way about writing an original...I start and then I delete and start again. I hope I hit my stride soon.
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