- 2^nd Chance sits, a forlorn look on her face as she gazes out at the sun’s glittering path. Her bare feet dangle from the sides of the ship.

 

- Captain Hellion, being the sensitive soul she is, strides over and sets a hand on the bartender’s shoulder, “What be bothering you this morning, Chance?”

 

- Chance waves a sheet of paper about and sighs.

 

- “Oh, another rejection?” Hel reaches for it.

 

- Chance moves it out of her reach, “Nay, no rejection. I’m submittin’ again and jus’ -findin’ it so frustratin’!” She sniffs, “I don’ like the genre class I seem ta’ be fated ta fall inta.”

 

- “It’s a complicated debate. Why you worried about it?” the Captain rolled her eyes. Chance often railed at such esoteric subjects…

 

*Fetching the rum barrel now, climbing ta the top, balancing meself…*

 

Genres. I really struggle with the limitations of defining myself by such narrow guidelines. Write about a time traveling witch and you’re a paranormal writer. Ignore the fact that her abilities have little to do with the actual plot of the story. (If she traveled with a machine, would it be science fiction?)

 

*Jumps from barrel and begins pacing, hands gesturing wildly*

 

Create an alternate world and *bam* - must be paranormal! It’s just the setting, not the whole story!

 

*Banging head on mast*

 

I got nothing against paranormals, crew. I read them, I like them and have no qualms of naming some of me stories as paranormals. But the rest? Don’t see it. Feel like a step-child that the romance poo-bahs didn’t know what to do with, so they signed me up for ballet when I really wanted to learn how to tango. (And I don’t do toe slippers.)

 

So, you create a story with a very tall heroine. The book must belong in tall romance. (I know, no such beast, but bear with me! I’m working a point!) Of course, the fact that she is tall has nothing to do with the actual drive of the story. So, she can change a light bulb all by herself during a pivotal scene…reach boxes at the top of grocery shelves with ease, is taller than the hero, plays professional basketball… All elements of tallness, but not driving the action. There is also a warrior from another time in the story…and, for the sake of argument, let’s say…a talking dog. But the heroine? She’s tall, must-go-in-tall-romance genre. Argh!

 

*grabs tankard from Sin, who is watching with a smirk on her face, as usual. Gulps it down and tosses tankard back at the ninja pirate. Opens hands wide, pleading…*

 

Tell me, if the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie were a book, where would it be shelved? There be a love story central to the story. So it’s a romance. There be a rogue with the luck of the devil. (OK, romance.) But there be an undead crew and monkey…oooh! That make it paranormal! But it be set in the Caribbean of the late 1700’s…it’s a historical! Some definite adventure to the story, fighting, sailing, chases, battles – so ‘tis an adventure! A quest almost…so, it’s fantasy?

 

Romancing the Stone – an adventure. Indiana Jones – an adventure. But there were love stories woven into both. With Indy there also be magic… So, would it be a paranormal? With Romancing the Stone there was a mystery to solve, and a kidnapping! Oh, dear! It’s a mystery? A thriller?

 

Does fantasy have to have a fairy in it? Or an elf? But…aren’t they magic? So that is paranormal? Ya catch me drift? (Is there actually a fantasy category, or did they stuff that in with paranormal? I want a master list. Long with that decoder ring, blast it!)

 

Ask me about erotica. I didn’t think I was writing erotica. I’m from California, shoot me in the head, but I thought that choosing multiple sex partners was a lifestyle choice. Just an element of a story, not necessarily the driving genre direction. So, wow! I’m writing erotica. Who knew? Sigh. But it’s OK, I’ll flow with this one.

 

*wicked gleam in the eye at that last revelation. Climbs back onto the barrel for a final call for action…*

 

I long for a new category. Romantic Adventure. Where the adventure be the sail of the story, no matter what other elements play mix in. I be tired a’ bein’ sorted in wit’ the shape-shifters, the vampires, the zombies and any occult device imagined… And don’t get me started on urban fantasy, magical realism and the apocalyptic themes! They be about as unconnected as the rest, but still…paranormal! What will next year’s stepchild be?

 

 

Be I alone in this frustration? Any other thoughts on the assignment of genre? What genre would you create? If all fiction were classified as romance, what new subcategories would you find? Again, who stocks the bar at the secret grand poo-bahs meetings? As a reader, what are your thoughts?

 

 

 

The PRO-loop is hosting a class this month about rejections. Some fabulous agents and editors have participated as well as a number of published authors. They stop by to shed light on why they reject a submission and what goes through their minds in the process. It has been incredibly informative and the guests have been incredibly gracious.

Coincidentally, I dropped by my friend’s house yesterday and she’s reading the book He’s Just Not That Into You. I skimmed through the story (more a collection of whys/whynots) and I started to draw some connections.

This book maps out a lot of the excuses women use to rationalize male behavior. The authors are funny (writers from Sex and the City) but unfailingly blunt.

A small part of me wished this dratted book would have been written when was wading through the murky waters of unmarried life. It would have probably saved me from the PhD candidate who seriously said to me “being in a relationship with you makes me not want to be in a relationship” and the guy who broke up with me in one breath then asked to spend the night in the next.

Or maybe it wouldn’t have. I can be a bit stubborn sometimes.

But, as I’m now happily married to a guy who IS into me, I (in a nod to how obsessed I am these days) started making connections with my writing.

For a book full of harsh truths, it was surprisingly upbeat. Instead, of harping on the negative, it focused on what a girl is missing by wasting her time. And that it’s best to people at face value.

Rejections are the same way. There seem to be infinite reasons for rejections. Too similar to something they already have, not passionate about it, plot flaws, story flaws, voice doesn’t click with agent/editor, and on and on. Sometimes we’re lucky enough to get very specific feedback that explains what any given agent/editor is thinking. But a lot of times we don’t. And like the girl holding on to the guy who’s just not into her, we as writers can read a form rejection and overanalyze it like we’re writing literary criticism about it. We think, “I read such and such trade article that says the market’s full of XYZ that my book has. Maybe that’s it. Maybe if I tweak XYZ element of my story, that’ll do it.” Add multiple scenarios of reading between the lines.

But like the girl and the guy who isn’t in to her, we’re missing the big picture: if they don’t come right out and tell us why it’s been rejected, we can’t know for sure. We can just hone our craft, write the best book we can, and throw ourselves out there.

I pitched at the NJ RWA. One agent listened to my pitch and said flat out, “is your story erotic?” When I answered in the negative, she politely shook my hand. “I’m looking for erotic stories specifically right now.” And that was it. I thanked her and moved on. If that’s what she’s looking for, we don’t fit and that’s fine. She was very nice, I’m sure she’ll make some erotic writer a wonderful agent. But she just wasn’t that into my book.

It happens.

What’s the most helpful thing you’ve learned from a rejection (writerly or otherwise)? Most counterproductive? (Please, no names to protect the not so innocent). Those of you who have been rejected, how do you overcome? Anyone see this movie yet? Read the book? What did you think?

Influence this week: My theme song for Cin.

S.O.S. (Anything for Love) - Apocalyptica ft. Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil - Worlds Collide (Special Edition)

Cyanide Sun - H.I.M. - Venus Doom

 

 

 

 

It's the first requirement of almost anything you do. It's glass top absent of a speck of dust. It's the gentle heart that breaks and the flinch in her eyes. The glance to the door every second. The way she memorizes the room as she walks through. Writing a scene is like reading the fine print. Everything is in the details, including how you hook the reader.

 

***

 

The first thing I noticed when I pushed open his front door was that it wasn't locked. The second thing was the broken glass on the floor and pressed into the bottoms of my feet. My heart thudded painfully in my chest and even though I had nothing to do with this; I couldn't help but think someone had come looking for me and found him instead.

 

Night had settled upon the humans, and street light shined through his window blinds. I slipped through the darkness and made no sound as I neared his bedroom. The door was cracked, the wood bowed in and hung from the hinges by just a couple of screws. The smell of his blood was faint and I closed my eyes and held my breath to keep my control. Blood smeared on my hand as I touched the door, sticky and cold, long since been shed. I rubbed my hands on my pants, and turned away from the door.

 

I moved through his apartment and into his living room, carpet thick and plush under my feet, glass flakes shimmered like a million diamonds around his brown leather sofa. The fire in the fireplace had long died out and the red hot embers smoked and cracked as they crumbled into ash. It was here that smelled strong of blood, and red dripped from the edge of his coffee table and onto the tan area rug. The sound reminded me of a dripping spring in the winter, the sound embedded into my memory. It was times like these that I wish I had a voice and didn't have to settle for the silence.

 

 

***

 

I write description as though I'm the one walking into the situation. Say I'm walking from the ship deck to my bunk. I go through it frame by frame. You have to set the scene behind your character. How are they framed? "The reddish and orange hues of the sunset played off the white capped waves of the sea. All was quiet on the mighty RWR tonight as I moved silently across the deck to the mast. The feel of the breeze on my skin raised goosebumps and rustled through my hair. I smoothed it down as I reached up for the first metal peg and hoisted myself up. The climb relaxed me as I let my body go fluid with the rocking motion of the ship. Each step brought me closer to solitude. A long day of rum guzzling and man oogling was tough on a hard working ninja like myself and I was ready to kick back in the crow's nest for a little nap."

 

Description is different through different sets of eyes. That may sound redundant; but some people catch the fly on the wall and some merely glance over it and never truly see it for what it is. Writing description is like this as well. Writing the description calls for us to be overzealous with our attention to detail. What color are the walls? What sort of layout? What is in the room? Where are you standing? Does he own his great-grandmother's Victorian sofa and crystal or something new and modern and a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace? The detail makes the character you learn to know and love. Their flaws and virtues are intricate details we iron out as we write them.

 

So today, let's work on our scene description. How would you describe the most mundane of things? If your character was walking into a room, how would they choose to see it? And are you the type to catch the fine print detail or are you more caught up in the moment?

 

We all tinker with dialog, to make it sound authentic.  And just by listening to the way people talk around us, we can tell if our dialog sounds real -- for contemps, at least.  I've been playing around with writing a historical, to see if I can pull off the voice and style, and I gotta say, the dialog is killing me. 

 

So, using my trusty google, I set off to find out how people really talked in 1853 California.   Turns out, they didn't talk all that different from us (or rather, from me.  Having grown up in the backwoods of Missouri, turns out I talk a lot like old west cowboys).

 

General Custer, for example, is quoted as saying "Let's kick their ass and get the hell out of here."   I believe my husband said the same thing just yesterday -- though he was referring to beating the visiting lacrosse team, not leading the infantry into battle.

 

Then there are less contemporary examples, such as a judge exclaiming, "We never did hang the wrong one but once or twice, and them fellers needed to be hung anyhow jes' on general principles."

 

Beyond their dialog, other things have to be considered.  How did they curse?  What kind of metaphors did they use?  How did they refer to sex? 

 

Some of their slang we still use today (or at least, I still hear my father use it, but again, there's that backwoods Missouri thing going on).  Like "Don't get your back up" (get angry), or "Fetch me a hammer" (instead of 'get' me a hammer).   "The jig is up" or "He's got himself in a heap of trouble."

 

Then there is some slang that is probably better off falling out of common usage.  Like "make a mash," as in trying to impress someone -- i.e. "Buck's tryin' to make a mash on that new girl."  Or "who hit John," as in liquor -- i.e. "He had a bit too much who-hit-John."   Or how about "shove a queer," as in passing counterfeit money -- i.e. "He got caught tryin' to shove a queer on ole' Jack."

 

And then there are the insults, which of course, must include references to one's mother, as in "A rattlesnake would be ashamed to meet your mama."  Others include "He was so ugly he had to sneak up on a dipper to get a drink of water."  Or "If all his brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow his nose."

 

But as much fun as it's been to dig through diaries and newspaper articles and websites, the question remains of how much you put into a novel.  Phrases like, "He ain't tryin' to get your back up, ma'am" would get really old after the third page.  In looking at currently published western romances, they seem to include only contemporary dialog.

 

So which do you prefer?  Do you like your historical dialog to have a touch of flair from the times?  Or do you prefer modern dialog against a historic backdrop?  Where do you look for examples of historical dialog?   Anyone have any good Old West slang or euphemisms they'd care to throw out?

A thousand random thoughts travel through my mind at the speed of light.  I tap the keys of my laptop, hoping to capture the one that inspires me. A scenario is waiting behind the next fog bank, a teasing potential for a new WIP.  I see the shadow of a figure step toward me. It stalks me in the mist, whispering the snippets of their existence in my mind…

 

Characters are as real as you wish to make them. They want, they dream, and they disappoint. As writers we form a shell of existence on the page. We breathe emotion, physical features, and actions into the outer and inter shell of their being. The shell becomes a person with flaws, conflicts, and the desire to love and be loved. Sometimes our characters never expect what we have in store for them, and most of the time they fight us tooth and nail with their own agenda. In each character, male or female, we leave a little part of ourselves behind. We grow, we cry, and we conquer the world with them. And in the end we are better writers for having created them.

 

We can never dream too high, or work too hard to make a character more real.  We give them lives that possibly parallel with our own, or take us on a path we may desire in another life.  We make them catapult unforeseen circumstances, and emotional hurdles. We place someone in their path that converges on their world, and changes them forever.  We take them through the darkness and back into the light. We give them our best, and hope others see them as we do.

 

The characters that I remember from favorite authors are memorable for a reason. They spoke the right dialogue, they made me laugh, or they were good even when they were bad. But most of all, they made me want to be a better writer. They made me want to put a pen to paper.

 

…Finally the fog lifts, and the perfect vision of a man stands before me. His thoughts evade my mind, translating his deepest secrets. He is muscular, dark, and sinfully handsome.  He has the physical strike of a rattler, and the stealth of a ninja warrior. He’s a modern day rake, who thinks women are for one use only.  He could use his physical abilities and business contacts to make a dire situation better, but he doesn’t see it that way. He lives by his own rules, but even they are about to change.

 

His name is Mitch Black, and he has a story to tell.  

How do your characters present themselves? Do you leave a part of yourself with each of your characters? Who is your favorite literary character, and why? 

 

       

First and foremost I must wish the Captain a wondermous and happiest birthday today. Happy birthday Hellion. May the hotties be hot and the rum be plentiful.

 

   'ello wenches and pirates. It's me (in case you've started to miss the sound of my voice or something) here with the wonderful debut author Miranda Neville. Her book Never Resist Temptation, set in Regency England, released yesterday, February 24, 2009 from Avon books. Run out to your nearest bookstore and pick it up today, if you haven't already got a copy. And if so, get another and give it to someone.

So without further ado, give a warm welcome to Miranda.

***

Aagh, me ‘earties, thanks for inviting me on board. My gal Jacobin's just who you cutthroats need in your galley. She'll toss your scurvy seacook out of the porthole, grab Cap'n Hellion's bottle of rum, and turn it into a Run Baba sooner than you can say "couteau." And if you're really good she'll bring her hottie, aka Anthony, Earl of Storrington (unless he's all tied up.)

Can I drop the pirate lingo now? I like pirates as much as the next girl but NEVER RESIST TEMPTATION plants us squarely in Regency England with not so much as a cutlass in sight. In fact we start out in Regency Ground Zero, the Prince Regent's seaside palace at Brighton (so maybe there's a pirate or two offshore) where Jacobin de Chastelux, daughter of a French aristocrat and niece of an English baron, is working as a pastry cook. Because, despite her background, Jacobin has what we nowadays call a marketable skill. She learned to cook from her uncle's incredibly handsome chef (who isn't the hero).

Just as well, because Jacobin is on her own. First her horrible uncle lost her in a card game to the evil Earl of Storrington, then she's suspected of trying to poison Uncle Candover. The good news is she's been offered another job. The bad news: her new employer is none other than the dastardly Earl.

Turns out the Earl (Anthony) isn't the disgusting old rake she'd envisioned. When he visits her in the kitchen the heat gets turned up to high and it isn't just in the oven. But Anthony has issues and his own motives for using her. Plus there's that little matter of a murder charge hanging over her. You'll have to read the book to discover how Jacobin and Anthony resolve their differences, track down the real murderer and learn to appreciate whipped cream.

I had a lot of fun with the food in the book and I use authentic recipes from the cookbooks of Antonin Carême, history's first "celebrity chef." He worked for French monarchs, the Tzar of Russia and, for a short time, the Prince Regent. Reading about him was the catalyst that made me decide to write a romance with a culinary background.

I know one of you villains is writing about a contemporary chef. Let's face it, there's something very sexy about food. How do you use food in your writing? Can you think of any romances with good eating scenes? The best answer wins a prize. (Hint: it involves chocolate)

My birthday is tomorrow; and as with birthdays, everyone uses these things as a reason to eat and celebrate. It’s not a landmark birthday (still got a few years before the next landmark), but being I’ve managed to make it another year without deleting myself from the Darwinian gene pool with any massive feats of stupidity, I guess that’s as good a reason to celebrate as any.

 

Today though is Mardi Gras, which is all about the stupidity. Well, not really, but being some of the most incriminating and stupid photos of me feature this holiday, I could make a good argument. It’s apparently the one time of year I like to imitate a drunk sorority girl. However, this year I have no intention of showing my naked boobs to complete strangers. Not that the ta-tas aren’t looking good. I’ve been doing the chest track during BodyPump religiously. They’re perky for their age, thank you. No, it’s just I plan to have a low-key night of crawfish and raw oysters, beer and laughs. Nothing crazy; and definitely no, “Hey driver, drive these” re-enactments. Not even for purposes of quoting Talladega Nights in public for the hilarity of it. Just a birthday’s eve of non-nude festivities to ring in the New Year of Hellion, and then a whole day to myself.

 

My writing assignment for my birthday is to do that “Live your life” rule where you can’t write anything if you’re not doing stuff that can be written about. And you can find a lot of freaky stuff to write about on Mardi Gras. I mean, I’m not the only person going around, imitating Talladega Nights. And though I loathe crowded places, I don’t mind it if I’m with Holly because she won’t let the rude, crazy people spill too much beer on me. She’s a good mentor for a reluctant hero. She loves to point out crazy people for us to mock. I’m going to observe; I’m going to have fun; and I’m going to play the “What if” game as I drink—because the answers get a lot funnier after about three beers. Like, “What if you didn’t shoot Ben? What if you cut his brake lines and drove his car off a cliff?” Though I have to say, none of us were drunk when this suggestion was made.

 

I had to reiterate that I have no desire to be the next Nicholas Sparks.

 

So, what are you favorite “live your life” things to do? Have you recently written anything that was directly from a conversation or situation in real life? Anyone else going to party it up tonight and eat raw oysters? Sin, you gotta come by and do the Talladega Nights bit….