Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2008

Killing Me Softly With Character


He placed the shot glass on the bar in front of Lacey. She stared at the liquid enemy until the bartender interrupted her thoughts.

 

 



“Shot of bourbon straight up, right?”

 



Lacey’s gaze slid to his then back to the offensive liquid in front of her.


“Yes, thank you.”

The bartender shrugged his shoulders and continued down the bar waiting on other customers.

Her hand shook as she reached toward the glass. It seemed as if she waited her entire life for this moment. To any unsuspecting person she would appear as a woman seeking a drink in a local bar; but it was far more. It was her 21st birthday, and her day to taste what her mother loved more than her.

She brought the glass to her lips and in one swallow, the liquid demon disappeared. She placed the glass back on the bar as the sting of the bourbon took her breath. Her eyes watered as she felt the heat slowly invade her body like a sickness. A calm feeling washed over her, and the hooks of the drink sank deep in her soul.

A school counselor once told her the alcohol didn’t influence her mother, it was the addiction. But, it was easier to hate something substantial, and visible. She didn’t need intangible evidence of why her mother never loved her, she needed something to hold. Now that something was coursing through her bloodstream, trying to convince her that she would love it just as much as her mother, if only she would give it a chance.

She quickly slid off the bar stool and headed for the restroom, she barely cleared the door before she spewed the liquid from her stomach. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and walked over to the chipped sink barely hanging on the wall. She rinsed her hands and mouth and caught her gaze in the broken mirror above the sink. Her eyes were still haunted; she hadn’t found the answer she was seeking from her little experiment.

Did she really believe that with one drink she would understand why her mother never told her she loved her? Why she wasn’t a homeroom mother, even though she never worked an honest day in her life? Why she stopped off at a bar, the night of Lacey’s high school graduation for some liquid courage and never saw her deliver her speech as the Valedictorian of Valley High?

Lacey’s mother watched her seventeen-year-old daughter leave home because she couldn‘t bear staying afloat in the tide of her mother’s demons one more day.

For the first time in years, tears silently flowed from Lacey’s eyes. Tears suppressed because it would give the alcohol more power.

Lacey looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her face divided by the broken crack in the middle of the glass. She began laughing uncontrollably through the tears. How could one small crack define her?

The laughter died on her lips as the truth of the moment settled around her. She was broken, and no matter how she tried to repair the crack all the hate kept seeping through, over and over again.

She reached up and covered the crack from end to end, but the rough edges brushed against her palm reminding her that she was only hiding the pain.

She dropped her hand at her side. The crack reappeared, and the vulnerability she felt resurfaced. But in its wake was an underlying current of anger.

It was time to stop living for what could never be, and wishing for a do over. Life was a one-time deal, and she was in control. She could ask herself why for the rest of her life, or choose to put the negative energy behind her.

By facing a shot of bourbon, she had already started.

 

 

 

We all experience a gamut of emotions throughout our lives. Whatever we deal with in everyday life provides us with a source to channel when we write. I deleted the previous scene from my WIP because I thought it contained too much back-story to work in my overall story. I may work it in at some point, but it isn’t time wasted. It was a difficult scene to write, because I have never experienced that kind of anguish. Allowing myself to get inside Lacey’s skin at that moment was a stretch for me, but sometimes you have to go with your gut instinct and become one with the pain.

Even in scenes that will probably never see print, I learn so much about myself as a writer. I struggle daily to get a handle on my characters, and make them appear as if they are real flesh and blood. It’s not always an easy task, because it’s hard to know how to keep a reign on someone that can easily get out of hand from scene to scene. I find myself backtracking in my scenes, comparing one set of actions to the next, hoping for consistency. This in itself is a chore, especially when my heroine is dealing with emotional circumstances that are all over the scale. I want to transfer personal emotion to my characters, but not personal reactions. I want it to be about them, not about me. Sometimes this is easier said than done, a perfect example of why I try to create a character that has a life much separated from mine. Thus bringing back the issue of not being able to fit into my character’s shoes. Building characters is hard work, with one wrong reaction I can damage the work of previous chapters. But I have to admit it’s nice to come home from a days work and slip into the skin of a supermodel with a hot mysterious man from her past wrecking havoc on her life, and a handsome senator acting as her boyfriend. Now that’s the kind of anguish I like to channel.
How do you keep your characters consistent throughout your WIP? Do you channel personal emotional circumstances when writing angst, or do you try to relate to your character without personal involvement? Do you follow a character sketch, and refer to it while writing?

 

 

 




Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Show Me

There have been many times in my life when emotion has taken over. When I no longer have control over what my mouth is saying and everything that I’d held inside for so long came front and centered. There is nothing like those moments, vulnerable and exposed to the one who’s either caused you pain or you’ve loved like no one before them. It’s in those moments that we realize who we are inside.

For some of us emotion is not easily said aloud but easier shown in small gestures that are often overlooked. It’s easy to say the words, “I love you” if you don’t really mean it. Words are often regaled as the emotion behind the person but without these gestures behind the meaning, it truly isn’t worth the last turnip on the turnip truck.

I’ve often thought about those gestures behind my characters. What makes them act the way they do? What makes you engage the character? Visualization of the scene, gestures that seem real and not overbearing. You really have to analyze every day life and those around you in order to get an understanding of this. To me this is one of the most important jobs of a writer. I want you to feel like you are in that scene. Like you can feel the motivation behind my character’s actions. If you can’t physically feel that emotion draped between the words, sentences, paragraphs, then I’m obviously not conveying it the right way.

I can think of a few writers that do this and do this well. Janet Evanovich (Yes, I am obsessed) and Pamela Clare (Here is me on my knees worshiping the fiction ground they both walk on) just to name two of them. I adore dark heroes. The darker the better. But that’s what makes their redemption so much sweeter in the end. The dark heroes know how to do the gestures behind their actions. For them, it’s the only way they can truly express their feelings without feeling overpowered by the moment.

It’s the small gestures that, to the reader, tell you everything you need to know about the relationship between two characters. There is no telling of these emotions, there is no need. As a reader, you sense that connection between the hero and heroine. Without that connection, I wouldn’t be a reader of their fiction. Plain and simple. I don’t need to be told of the emotion. Seriously, any schmuck can say the words “I love you” and grin like an idiot and that still doesn’t mean, to me, that they actually care or genuinely love. They are saying the words. There can be all the basis in the world behind them, and they still might not mean anything without the gesture of love behind it.

What do I mean by gesture, you might ask? To me, the gesture of love and emotion is showing me you mean it. By not just saying it, you truly feel it. Nothing will separate us. Not obsessive or overbearing; but that one true deep emotion that happens once in a million years. To me, P. Clare and J. Evanovich do this in spades. P. Clare just has this wonderful way of writing the emotional gestures behind the action. My favorite example of P. Clare’s gestures is *spoiler for Hard Evidence* when Julian steps into the line of fire and takes several bullets in the back for Tessa. Yes, he’s a FBI agent, but it’s the moments afterwards. The way Julian reacts. The tenderness between them when Tessa cries for him that truly shows you the gestures behind the motivation and emotion. It’s complex. It’s raw. And it’s truly awe-inspiring.

Julian is a different breed of dark hero. A man who truly doesn’t know his worth because he was never taught. There was no trust in his heart. No love in his life. My heart pitter-patters at the thought of Julian, dark sunglasses, 5 o’clock shadow, lean hips swaggering towards me. You can just tell that Julian is all action, no talk.

Not to mention J. Evanovich’s character Ranger (R. Carlos Manoso). All of the words that come out of Ranger’s mouth contradict his actions. The way he unabashedly tells the truth no matter how painful it is to hear it. He tells it straight. He makes no apologies. He’s hard and unforgiving. And it takes a special sort of love to understand him. If you hear the words come out of Ranger’s mouth you can take it to heart. He thinks about what he says before he speaks. Every word is weighed carefully. Don’t say things you don’t mean. But there is a sneakiness about Ranger as well. Qualifiers. Contradictions. Keeping at arm’s length.

Looks that tell a different story. Actions that show exactly what he feels.

Take for an example: In Twelve Sharp *spoilers for Twelve Sharp* the book is about Ranger’s daughter with whom he has little contact with. When asked about it, he speaks of her clinically, without emotion, detached. But his actions tell a different story. He exudes his every resource to find her. Spends countless hours awake, searching, hunting, tracking down leads. He enlists Stephanie to help him. And when he sees his little girl’s smiling face on the TV and a picture of him, listed as armed and dangerous, you see his mask slip and the emotion becomes very raw and painful. And even then, Stephanie knows that his daughter is just not another expense in his budget, but a real emotion he keep close to his heart and never shows to anyone.

There are a thousand examples I could use of J. Evanovich’s Ranger character. She’s the perfect manipulator of the actions speak louder than words scene writer.

So, in your opinion, who is the master of these sorts of gestures? What sort of characters suck you in and never let you go? Has there ever been a scene that just stuck out for you and stayed with you long after you sat the book down?

And I know that I told Hellion that this was going to be Eric Bana week, but I got stuck on Julian and Ranger. I get sidetracked very easily.

PS. Eric Bana I adore you. You are so hot with your 5 o’clock shadow and wicked bedroom ways. I am the pirate wench of your dreams. Not to be confused with a siren who will cause your ship to steer off course and crash. As Quartermaster it is my duty to guide you with my ultra fabulous sense of direction, which may or may not include getting you out of your trousers and into my private quarters.
Sincerely, Q. Sin.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Shot Through the Heart

There’s something about emotion that can weigh a character down. A feeling like the weight of the world is carried on their shoulders. The feeling of guilt. The feeling of devastation. Hopelessness. Regret. A lot of regret. It takes a lot for a character to leave that feeling behind. And it takes a strong writer to help them achieve it.

It’s the journey that makes the ending all the more enjoyable.

In every story there is an internal conflict that the character must go through to show the reader, convince them that his/her will is strong. The he/she can grow from mistakes. Learn. Move on. But what does it take out of the writer to convey that? We all tend to live through our words. Moving our characters in and out of a world that we’ve created, situations that we’ve placed them in. We give them life. We give them heartache. We give them strength to put one foot in front of the other. But when it comes down to the real emotion, the type of stuff that make a reader’s heart stop, the tears, the moment of truth, does it really come from your own experiences and drag the character through the mud? Or do you play it off, skirting around the issue, resolving it with as little drama as possible?

When I write emotion, I write how I feel. I think of the situation. I think of how I would react. How someone else would react. I see it as a play in my mind and I’m the director. Even if I’ve never experienced it before, my imagination takes it away for me. I can’t say I’ve ever seen blood pouring out of a body before (besides my own). I can’t say that I’ve had a sister been brutally murdered. Or been a FBI agent. Or even drove Porsche. But it only takes a visual image and a really good imagination to get you through it.

After following a brilliant blog by Colleen Gleason yesterday about research, and comments made about the emotion and plot weaving and what it takes to write those characters, I thought about what it takes to be a great writer. What draws your reader into your stories and keeps you coming back for more. And I think it’s the emotion the writer puts into the characters. The heart. The research. You have to feel like you’re a part of the story. To be absorbed by the world. To experience the internal dialogue. To have that moment of utter despair and hopelessness in the black moment like your world is crushing down around you. Suck them into that world and make them come back for more. Make them see it. Make them feel it. That’s the mark of a truly great writer.

So my blog is short today (and probably not sweet, lol) and really there is only one question on my mind. How do you write emotion? I know we talked about our moods bleeding into our words in the comments a few days ago, but do you roll with it when it happens? Or do you distance yourself from your own emotions and separate your heroine/heroes emotions from ones that you would normally have? If you’re a reader, what do you prefer? Do you prefer that deep emotional connection or do you prefer light and fluffy?