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Sunday, December 18, 2011
Completely Sacreligious But Still Funny
*Bo'sun taps a music stand with her whistle* Since it's the week of Christmas, we're pulling out our favorite blogs of Christmas past. This is probably my favorite parody so once again, to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, everyone look lively and sing out.
Drink up ye scurvy pirate crew
Let no rum go to waste
Remember, Chance, our bartender
Will mix your drink to taste
So every wench gets what she wants
And we all stay shit-faced
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Marn: Hal can’t really get shit-faced, so I’m going to have her share.
Bo’sun: Have at it, Marn. You’re doing it for the children.
Hal: Thanks, guys. Y’all are making me weepy.
In Port Royal and Tortuga
The streets are filled with cheer
Come join the fun and raise a glass
Careful, don’t spill your beer
It’s Christmas time, drink up the wine
Get drunk and flash your….arse
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Sin: The last thing we need is to encourage arse flashing on this ship.
Bo’sun: That encouragement was for the Hotties.
Sin: Oh, I’m good then.
Hellie wants her Captain Jack
And Sin wants new ice picks
Hal just wants to GET IT OUT!
And Marn wants plotting tricks
DRD wants more Hotties
With great big thick wallets
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Donna: How did you know?!
Bo’sun: You told me.
Donna: Oh yeah, I did. Fingers crossed!
Chance: What about me?!
Bo’sun: You got a contract, you’re done until 2012.
I hope you like my pirate tune
I wrote it just for you
There is one thing I’m wishing for
A whistle that is new
And if there’s room in Santa’s sack
Please bring Keith Urban too
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Hellie: Nicole isn’t going to like that.
Bo’sun: She’s on location, she’ll never know.
Chance: I still can’t believe I don’t get anything.
Bo’sun: Suck it up, butterbean. I’ll buy you a drink in New York.
We have two extra pirates
We did not have before
One is an Assassin
A killer we adore
The other is a cute Scapegoat
We make do all the chores
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
The pirates on this vessel
Are bitchy and uncouth
They drink too much and sleep too much
And some are even loose
But even we can smile and say
Happy holidays to youtz
Oh, tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
Oh tidings of nookie and rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Whole crew: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!
Other than Hal no longer being preggers and Chance and I never making it to New York, this seems to hold up. And so does the question. Tell us what one gift you’re expecting on Christmas morn. What did you ask for that someone had better get you if they want to live? And thanks for hanging with us for another year. Drinks all around!!!
Drink up ye scurvy pirate crew
Let no rum go to waste
Remember, Chance, our bartender
Will mix your drink to taste
So every wench gets what she wants
And we all stay shit-faced
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Marn: Hal can’t really get shit-faced, so I’m going to have her share.
Bo’sun: Have at it, Marn. You’re doing it for the children.
Hal: Thanks, guys. Y’all are making me weepy.
In Port Royal and Tortuga
The streets are filled with cheer
Come join the fun and raise a glass
Careful, don’t spill your beer
It’s Christmas time, drink up the wine
Get drunk and flash your….arse
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Sin: The last thing we need is to encourage arse flashing on this ship.
Bo’sun: That encouragement was for the Hotties.
Sin: Oh, I’m good then.
Hellie wants her Captain Jack
And Sin wants new ice picks
Hal just wants to GET IT OUT!
And Marn wants plotting tricks
DRD wants more Hotties
With great big thick wallets
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Donna: How did you know?!
Bo’sun: You told me.
Donna: Oh yeah, I did. Fingers crossed!
Chance: What about me?!
Bo’sun: You got a contract, you’re done until 2012.
I hope you like my pirate tune
I wrote it just for you
There is one thing I’m wishing for
A whistle that is new
And if there’s room in Santa’s sack
Please bring Keith Urban too
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
Hellie: Nicole isn’t going to like that.
Bo’sun: She’s on location, she’ll never know.
Chance: I still can’t believe I don’t get anything.
Bo’sun: Suck it up, butterbean. I’ll buy you a drink in New York.
We have two extra pirates
We did not have before
One is an Assassin
A killer we adore
The other is a cute Scapegoat
We make do all the chores
O tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
O tidings of nookie and rum
The pirates on this vessel
Are bitchy and uncouth
They drink too much and sleep too much
And some are even loose
But even we can smile and say
Happy holidays to youtz
Oh, tidings of nookie and rum
Nookie and rum
Oh tidings of nookie and rummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Whole crew: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!
Other than Hal no longer being preggers and Chance and I never making it to New York, this seems to hold up. And so does the question. Tell us what one gift you’re expecting on Christmas morn. What did you ask for that someone had better get you if they want to live? And thanks for hanging with us for another year. Drinks all around!!!
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Bo'sun's Babblings (Terri)
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25 comments:
I'm expecting that the husband took the big hint and got me this awesome bracelet we found on line...goldtoned octopi linked together... If he gets me something totally non-kraken related when that was the one thing I specified...his ass is grass.
And ya can buy me a drink in Anaheim!
I do adore this carol and must gather all our pirate carols together in a booklet for next year...so we can have a real caroling party!
Bosun that's brilliant!
I had no idea that you had such rhyming talent.
That refrain of 'Oh tidings of nookie and rum' hits the spot and is going to echo in my head all day .... and might creep into the Carol Service later on. LOL
Presents!?
What can a man who has (pretty well) everything ask for?
The flashy sports car won't fit into my stocking.
Donna hasn't published her next book yet.
The rest of you haven't published any books yet, apart from Leslie, and assassins for Christmas aint right.
I know. It will have to be Chance's latest book.
Together with some nookie and rum! LOL
This was wonderful! I'm going to be humming it all day. LOL
I only WISH there were Hotties here today. Dang. It got so freakin' cold overnight. At least there isn't any of the "s" word right now. (Hope I didn't jinx anything.)
Q, I'm working to get the next one finished, but alas, you've already read it. LOL I'll have to use my time off more productively. :)
Have a great day, pirates!
I feel like we're majorly letting Q down. I hate that feeling.
I love this song. Your version even improves the original--and I'm glad you brought it out again and added the new verse! :)
As for Christmas gifts, I unwrapped mine last night. And its alarm clock is faulty because we were supposed to wake up at 6 am, but his alarm clock is set at 5:30. Hence why I'm up now. Any bets want to be made I'll still somehow be late for work? Any takers?
If we're talking about other tangible gifts...my dream gift is still an iPod. But when I don't get it, I won't be disappointed. I'm still more grateful right now for my job, my apartment, my basics met--and my family being in relative health. (Very glad to have my Dad another Christmas.) I *would* love to find a great deal on some prime rib to make some for Christmas...with some popovers and salt roasted new potatoes. :) I know that's not a fun answer and I would yell at you guys if you did it to me, but it's true. *LOL*
I guess I wouldn't mind a slightly early copy of Eloisa James' new book. :) That's within the realm of possibility, right? *LOL* And it would make me very very happy.
I liked this one the first time and I love it more now. :)
Present under the tree? I don't even have anything I want this year. There's a handbag I was looking at but I told DH to wait.
I'd like these revisions to be done by Christmas, though I know that's not happening either. If I get them done by end of January I'll be happy. I'm making some progress, but it's not as quick as I hope.
Next story, I'm writing fast, no matter the feelings of insecurity about how it sucks. With the revision process I'm in right now, I am practically rewriting. So why bother too much on the first draft?
(Oh, wait. Some of you already know this secret. This isn't news to you folks right? Carry on....)
With the revision process I’m in right now, I am practically rewriting. So why bother too much on the first draft?
Knowing and accepting are two different things. We all know it, but how many of us actually do it? Exactly.
Glad the revisions are going well!
Dang Wordpress! Since I ran that update last week, it's not sending me emails when y'all comment. Gah! I depend on those emails!!! Must get our Webmistress on that...
I should have specified this is my favorite parody of my own writing. But there are many others in our archives I adore as well. LOL! Happy this little ditty could put a smile on your faces as we head into the big holiday week.
I'm desperate for winter clothes so I'm just hoping for lots of gift cards. Can't think of anything else. Oh, a RAISE! That would be nice, but I don't think it's coming. *sigh*
Marn - I decided last night I want my revisions done by Jan 31. And I've yet to move beyond the first 50 pages. LOL! We will dig and push and cheer each other on!
Check your spam. That's where mine went. Unspam it and you should get it back.
Nothing was in my spam. Are you getting emails every day whether you posted the blog or not?
And it's a Monday all over here at the office. I'll be quiet a bit this morning until I dig out...
No, I don't get emails whether I post or not. I just noticed last week I didn't get the notification email saying someone posted. I finally looked in my SPAM and found it. Hmmm. Wonder what is up.
Mo said she wasn't getting emails on Friday either. I've asked Carrie to check into it. The settings are still the same, so it's very weird.
Sorry I'm late to the party - excellent verses Bo'Sun!
As for presents, the hubby and I haven't given presents in a few years. We love to travel so we save all of our pennies for that. We still decorate, put up the tree and do gifts for family and friends, but we just save $$ by not giving to each other.
But be aware, Scape dresses her dogs funny. So really, she owes them some awesome gifts Christmas morning!
Yes, please fix the update stuff because I bet my Wordpress site will now stop notifying me also, since we upgraded it last night!
Q - I'm editing as fast as I can! The Pirate Circus is due out the first week of February!
Now I'm imagining all of us sending Q some nookie & rum for Christmas. LOL!
How do you wrap nookie? (I mean, I know how to UNwrap it...)
Well, when I wrap nookie, I put on my cutest, sexiest underwear...but this is after I've had a hot bath, a slow shave, and slathered on a bunch of scented lotion--
Too much info?
I'm off to scrub my brain now.
I just got caught eating a banana at my desk, and the male receptionist who caught me was laughing so hard, he couldn't give me the phone message. Men.
Of course, it could have been the "Oh, shit" chipmunk look on my face when he rounded the corner. Who knows?
Honestly, Hells-- you don't wrap nookie. You leave it naked as God intended.
But you still use the good sexy smelly lotion to confuse the nookie prey.
testing
It is SO EASY to confuse Nookie Prey.
testing2
Guys...we're being tested...
God? Is that you?
Santa Carrie? I've been a very good pirate... And I want a brain plug in to cure my lack of memory, a time turner to gain the time I keep losing, and the skill to understand how to make the best uses of the internet to promote myself.
Or a case of Kraken rum, which will make the rest not matter...
Deerhunter already told me that he told Santa I had been a bad pirate this year and I wasn't getting any gifts from Santa. So I'm not going to bother to ask. *LOL* Though I love Mo's list.
I need more coffee. I read that first request as "butt" plug. LOL!
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