Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Poke the structure with a stick
You pirates have dirty minds, you know that? Just because I said we're going to poke things with sticks today . . . geez! I know it's the day before a holiday, and I hope you're off work and starting your celebrations early!
Since today will be a slow day, I have an exercise for us. (Yes, I can hear all you pirates groaning and bitching about overtime, but on Monday, we all acted enthusiastic. So buck up!)
I've been reading (yet another) book on revisions. And I came across some great advice that has been a useful little trick for me. And that is, poke your structure with a stick and see what happens. You know when you poke a snake? You find out pretty quick if it's alive or dead. Either something happens, or nothing happens. But either way, you KNOW if that snake is alive.
So today, I'd like to talk about two stick-poking exercises, and see if you guys want to try one, and see if it works.
First is a cause-and-effect experiment. Think of a character (secondary might be easier if you don't have the WIP in front of you) and list out the actions in order. Not necessarily the scenes or whole plot, just the actions.
For example - this is for a secondary character in my WIP:
Note that the cause-and-effect linkage here. Every action is clearly linked back to the action above it, and the linkage itself shows motivation, and cause and effect. This tells me something: that the motivation is clear, and I could probably pull out some of my meandering scenes of them deciding what to do, because from this, the next step is obvious.(Except the link between 4-5-6. That might need much more clarity).
It also tells me something else: I have a lot of passive verbs here. Ahmad receives, Ahmad sees, etc. Ahmad isn't all that active. All he really does is kidnap the little girl, and that happens off screen. Though the scene with him holding Naomi captive is nice and disturbing. So this tells me I might want to adjust so that Ahmad is doing more, and reacting less.
In other words, I poked the structure, and it is in fact alive, and perhaps needing only slight first aid.
Here's the second tactic for poking your structure with a stick:
Draw a circle and include all your character names:
Got it?
Okay, now draw lines for every relationship between your characters:
Mine won't make much sense to you, unless you know the characters. But what you can see from this circle is that some characters have lines going all over the place, and some characters are only tangentially connected. There's room there, to make sure every possible connection that could be made has been made.
Are there any other relationships you hadn't thought of? Any past or secret relationships between characters?
Are there any characters who don't have a line? Anyone just hanging out on the fringes?
Any characters that are static? Notice I have "young soldiers" and "other cops" on my list. They're necessary to the plot, but they aren't very interesting. Could I have another character who's more flushed out fill that role? Could I flush out "young soldiers" better? Could I connect those young soldiers to additional characters?
Willing to give one of these a shot? Try doing a character circle on paper and tell us what you got. Or list out the actions of a character and see how the cause-and-effect looks, and what that tells you about the plot. Basically, when you poke your structure with a stick, is it alive or dead? (and if you do so while wearing a bicycle helmet like the guy in the picture above, tell us that too :)
Since today will be a slow day, I have an exercise for us. (Yes, I can hear all you pirates groaning and bitching about overtime, but on Monday, we all acted enthusiastic. So buck up!)
I've been reading (yet another) book on revisions. And I came across some great advice that has been a useful little trick for me. And that is, poke your structure with a stick and see what happens. You know when you poke a snake? You find out pretty quick if it's alive or dead. Either something happens, or nothing happens. But either way, you KNOW if that snake is alive.
So today, I'd like to talk about two stick-poking exercises, and see if you guys want to try one, and see if it works.
First is a cause-and-effect experiment. Think of a character (secondary might be easier if you don't have the WIP in front of you) and list out the actions in order. Not necessarily the scenes or whole plot, just the actions.
For example - this is for a secondary character in my WIP:
1. Ahmad travels to Belfast to purchase black-market weapons from Kersey, and brings Naomi along as his negotiator.
2. Ahmad receives a picture, showing him that Naomi is undercover British intelligence
3. Ahmad kidnaps Naomi's daughter
4. Ahmad holds Naomi captive
5. Ahmad gives Naomi's daughter to Kersey, to prove that he's serious about the weapons
6. Ahmad gives Naomi to Kersey for 12 hours, with instructions to use the time wisely to work out a deal for the weapons, or lose daughter forever
7. Ahmad watches Naomi die, realizes he now cannot get the weapons, and leaves
8. Ahmad sees Naomi's picture on TV and realizes he's been played
9. Ahmad returns and attempts to kill Naomi
Note that the cause-and-effect linkage here. Every action is clearly linked back to the action above it, and the linkage itself shows motivation, and cause and effect. This tells me something: that the motivation is clear, and I could probably pull out some of my meandering scenes of them deciding what to do, because from this, the next step is obvious.(Except the link between 4-5-6. That might need much more clarity).
It also tells me something else: I have a lot of passive verbs here. Ahmad receives, Ahmad sees, etc. Ahmad isn't all that active. All he really does is kidnap the little girl, and that happens off screen. Though the scene with him holding Naomi captive is nice and disturbing. So this tells me I might want to adjust so that Ahmad is doing more, and reacting less.
In other words, I poked the structure, and it is in fact alive, and perhaps needing only slight first aid.
Here's the second tactic for poking your structure with a stick:
Draw a circle and include all your character names:
Got it?Okay, now draw lines for every relationship between your characters:
Mine won't make much sense to you, unless you know the characters. But what you can see from this circle is that some characters have lines going all over the place, and some characters are only tangentially connected. There's room there, to make sure every possible connection that could be made has been made.
Are there any other relationships you hadn't thought of? Any past or secret relationships between characters?
Are there any characters who don't have a line? Anyone just hanging out on the fringes?
Any characters that are static? Notice I have "young soldiers" and "other cops" on my list. They're necessary to the plot, but they aren't very interesting. Could I have another character who's more flushed out fill that role? Could I flush out "young soldiers" better? Could I connect those young soldiers to additional characters?
Willing to give one of these a shot? Try doing a character circle on paper and tell us what you got. Or list out the actions of a character and see how the cause-and-effect looks, and what that tells you about the plot. Basically, when you poke your structure with a stick, is it alive or dead? (and if you do so while wearing a bicycle helmet like the guy in the picture above, tell us that too :)
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44 comments:
Wow, I had a comment but it must have been deemed too smart assed and it disappeared!
Now, I will do anything to avoid this exercise. Yes, I will poke many things. I will even poke Hellie with a snake and bear the consequences...
Okay, I'll see if I can poke my head into a bottle of rum and figure out by the morning if I can manage either of these exercises...maybe the round one...
haha! Excellent response, chance! I'm with you on poking Hellie with a snake - I thought of you, Hells, when using the snake analogy!
Poking our heads into a bottle of rum also sounds like a worthwhile activity. Well, I'd go for vodka before rum - does that make me a bad pirate? lol.
Pirates, I'm off to an all day meeting today - if I have internet access, I'll be able to keep up, but I'm not sure. If I go silent, know that I would much prefer to be here playing with all of you!
Y'all are daring to go anywhere near Hellie with a snake. I'll stay over here. WAY over here.
What is the name of this book! I need to attack revisions and though I took an entire class on it last year, I feel like all that info fell out of my head. Though I'm sure I have a book on revision. That I've never looked at. Must look
I'd prefer to do the first exercise. Let me try it and I'll come back.
Hal, this is great stuff! I like how the linkage shows the passive parts. And the second one is helpful too. I remember reading in Writing the Breakout Novel about trying to combine some of the secondary characters who are more like walk-ons -- and it created a much stronger character for my story.
I'm feeling inspired now. :)
This is great, Hal! I think I'm going to try this with my heroine. I think my hero's motivation and sequence is pretty clear cut but I'm afraid my heroine's reasons for doing things and action might be a little unclear. I need to hit up the grocery store for some pie fixings, but I'll do it at nap time.
By the way, I haven't read False Move in a while but it was cool to have a reminder about it. I love that book.
I will even poke Hellie with a snake and bear the consequences…
Good luck reattaching your head to your body if you do.
I’m with you on poking Hellie with a snake – I thought of you, Hells, when using the snake analogy!
I hadn't gotten to that part of the blog; I was trying to figure out the picture and I saw the movement the girl was doing and I was, "OMG! ARE THEY POKING A SNAKE!" Apparently that movement is universal for OMG IT'S A SNAKE!
Am trying this with an actual finished manuscript. What I discovered is why this manuscript had NO TAKERS.
Will go back with a secondary character since you said that might be a bit easier. Ugh.
Okay, this is what I have for my heroine and this is only the first 50 pages. Essentially, my GH entry (which went out UPS yesterday!!)
Beth panics on the ferry. Invites Joe to sit with her not knowing he's her future brother-in-law.
Beth defends not revealing her identity to Joe and calls him an asshole.
Beth watches her fiancé drive away then volunteers to watch Joe's dog hoping to put them on better terms.
Beth walks to arts & craft store with the dog, gets a blister from new sandals, meets store owner Lola.
Beth witnesses Lola being harassed by developer minion and defends Lola by threatening minion with legal action.
Beth waits tables at family restaurant to help out, bumps into Joe and gets zings of sexual attraction.
Beth takes a beer to pool room for a Sid person and is verbally (and nearly physically) attacked by Sid who is a tiny, gorgeous boat mechanic with an attitude. Points out mechanic's hotness to Joe, who claims never to have noticed, then concludes that working with hottie mechanic is what makes him so cranky.
Now, someone tell me what I'm supposed to learn from this. LOL! I'm happy to see she's doing things. That's encouraging.
I think your snake is alive. *LOL* I think that's what we're supposed to be reassured about. *LOL*
Oh, and if I do the circle thing on my current WIP, I discover I *NEED* more characters.
Mine is also a partial; of a secondary character in a finished WIP. What I discovered is that Lorelei is a raging bitch whom no one in their right mind would ever marry or be friends with. Clearly I made a female Voldemort to keep my main characters apart because obviously they were too much little horndogs otherwise.
1.) Lorelei warns Olivia away from Ben, whom Olivia has never even met
2.) Lorelei discovers Olivia and Ben already know each other; feels betrayed
3.) Lorelei accuses Olivia of lying and putting men before friendships
4.) Lorelei reluctantly believes Olivia’s denials, proceeds with plans for her wedding to Ben’s brother, Jake
5.) Lorelei is appalled by Olivia’s behavior at rehearsal; reprimands Olivia
6.) Lorelei calls Jake, but can’t find him; sends Olivia out to find him
7.) Lorelei marries Jake
I'm afraid to do the circle thing. I don't think my characters intersect enough.
Good thing you didn't model that character after anyone you know.
Good thing you didn’t model that character after anyone you know.
Don't remind me. Holy crap.
I’m afraid to do the circle thing. I don’t think my characters intersect enough.
PLEASE.
Clearly the brothers & mother intersect; Beth is the fiance, so she intersects at one brother, then the other. The townspeople are a sort of family that sticks together, so I think they'd intersect more than you think. This is a small place; they depend on each other in probably some pretty surprising ways. You got the double-dealer who intersects a few of the main characters in various ways; and the other double-dealer (there were two double-dealers, right, a boy and a girl?)
They intersect.
Clearly my WIP is not only a live snake, it's a cobra. Burn it! Burn it!
And how do you make that really cool circle like hers ^ there?!
I thought they had to intersect on the page. Like have actual interactions in the same scene together. Hmmm.... Do connections off screen count?
And how do you make that really cool circle like hers ^ there?!
I assume she slept with someone. No?
The way I read it was a connection on or off the page--sorta like a 6 degrees of separation thing. That's what I find amusing in stories--you get to people who've never met, but are suddenly running into each other everywhere, pissing each other, because they happen to know the same people by chance.
We'll need to ask Hal for clarity.
Awesome, are we like the only ones here, Ter? I'm afraid to say what this says about our family lives...and work lives.
OT: This is cool so I had to share.
http://epubagent.tumblr.com/post/13206574341/theyre-all-so-gorgeous
Looks that way. I'm sitting at work, just like any other day. LOL!
Oh, that's just COOL!!!
That's actually a good picture of Radcliffe. He usually looks like a hobbit. Love the one of Ginny. Very cool.
What? LOL! Hal slept with someone to get that circle?!
They all look gorgeous. Amazing to think of how they looked when they were 10 & 11 years old. Who'd a thunk they grow up to be so pretty? LOL! Though all that money to pay for braces and skin creams probably played a part...
They didn't even show Neville. *LOL* He turned out good.
I thought of that too!
I'm trying to poat from my phone without anyone noticing - but its relationsips inthe circle (ie brother and sister, married, parent-child, etc). On screen or off
Oh, then maybe I'm not so bad off. Let me try it.
Okay, you guys have got to watch this PIXAR trailer: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/hdtrailers.html. It's called BRAVE, and it's about a Scottish heroine...and it's hilarious and girl power...and I can't wait to see it.
Oh, boy. This exercise makes my head hurty. I'm usually a non-drinker but ... bring on the rum.
BRAVE looks really cute. I hope it doesn't disappoint.
I was just wondering how the circle of characters would work with parallel universes and people tunneling between them, like with Chance's portal. You would need overlapping circles or circles within circles LOL
Ain't it time you had the cover of Donna's newly published book displayed?
It's really classy!
Hal, what a great idea. I'm going to try it with my wip once the holiday dust settles.
Happy Thanksgiving to all the Revengers and their visitors.
That movie looks excellent! (I had to download Quicktime before I could watch the fool thing.)
Right back atcha, Nancy!
Q - I was watching a Nova last night about string theory and alternative universes and thought of you!
I'm being mutany-er today and not doing the exercises, instead I'm looking for my head after poking Hellie with a snake...
Though, Q makes me think that one might be fun...!
And we only just discovered Deadreckoning's book, she's been secretive about it!
I haven't been secretive about my self-pub adventure. LOL I just wanted to make sure I could accomplish it first! It was a bit tricky, but I managed it. I uploaded it to Kindle and now I'm waiting for it to be finalized.
Whew. Good thing I started with a novella. I think I need to lay down and have a drink now. LOL
Sneaky, she's been sneaky...
Which pirates actually admire...
Okay, so...everyone has totally disappeared. The sadness of being on the West Coast and everyone else has already departed for turkey comas early...
I'm still waiting for Hal to tell me the name of this book. LOL! Apple pie is done. Looks NOTHING like a pie. LOL! (I didn't have a pie pan so used a cake pan.) Hope it tastes like one.
Now I need to color my hair, but I don't feel like it. Maybe that can wait...
I'm here! I'm so sorry I wasn't here for the fun - looks like you guys had a great day!
The book this is from is Jeff VanderMeer's "Booklife". I really enjoyed it. It's more about strategies for handling the life of an author, and balancing the public demands on you in marketing, and the private demands in being creative and producing stories. He only had one chapter on revision, but these two ideas were in there.
I made a cheesecake. It's layered with regular cheesecake on the bottom and pumpkin on the top. I don't think it's quite right, because the batter tasted a little . . . off . . . but it looks yummy and maybe it'll taste all right. My MIL is bringing a pumpkin pie, though, so it'll be okay if I screwed it up :)
I'll have to look that one up. Sounds like all the other chapters would be just as helpful.
My swedish apple pie looks nothing like a pie. Might have to take Chance's advice and take some good vanilla ice cream with me.
Yes, as a sexy romance writer, I confess my mind is constantly in the gutter. You're so cruel! Lure me here to read, with the delicious expectation of some eye candies. But what did you give me? Hard work? To condemn me to revision? Rewriting? Nah, I'm running away now!
My Darcy Vibrates…
Hilarious, Enid! You're smart to run - have a happy Thanksgiving!
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